this is the bit her screenname refers to
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"You were," he allowed, "You have a harshness to you, perhaps. But when you had an opportunity to do Good in another way - to hear Ata tell it, you plead her case to your Lictor. And not just because she is very charming."

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"I - told myself it was all her."

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"I did too, once."

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"My family will disown me. Breaks our century and more of history."

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"Many Hellknights?"

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"Most of them of the Pike, too. My uncles, great-aunt, great-great-grandfather and his sister... there's a row of armor in the family crypt. If I'm there at all, it will be as a shattered set of Pike Vicarius plate, left nameless."

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"Unless your deeds here outweigh it."

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"Well, they might forgive it. The Pike won't. Ever. I will be on a list of shame, maybe twenty names since its founding, and they mark each one as a failing of every Lictor and Paralictor personally."

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"Is that worse?"

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"Of cou-- Wait. Hmm."

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He just waited.

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"They are - were - my brothers. United in the cause, of our forefathers, fighting beside each other. That's - a big void. But."

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"You don't sound daunted by it."

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"No. I have you. And our Ata. And two hundred really very impressive warriors who've learned to hold a line against the horrors of the Abyss."

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"A fine bunch to be united with in a new cause."

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"Or the old one. From another angle."

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"And one we're happy to be in ourselves. As are our recruits. Have you heard how they talk about you?"

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"I've been too busy-"

"-No. I haven't."

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"The warrior-witch of the south, who puts steel in their souls."

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"So 'The Forge' does mean me, doesn't it?"

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"You hadn't guessed?"

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"I wasn't sure. Too busy to think." On purpose. Gods, has she been doing a lot of not-thinking.

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"What will you do now?"

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"Tell Ata. Figure out how I resign. Make longer-term plans..."

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"...Live."

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