« Back
Generated:
Post last updated:
The Eighth Day
Portalbold and Smol Hyper Elf in Valinor
Permalink Mark Unread

She's a speaker; she knows better than almost any other kobold what her odds are. Sometimes an exile will survive a year; rarely, the tribe that exiled them will see them again after two. But no exiled kobold in all the history the local speakers know has ever survived to be seen after a third year, no matter what advantages they started with.

She's a mage, if not a proper one, and that is an advantage, at the same time as it's the thing that caused her exile. She's almost comfortable, now, at least in the ways she can be comfortable. She's not hungry or thirsty or cold; just lonely.

Kobolds don't do very well, though, lonely.

And she knows her odds. Even with her magic, she'll eventually run into something that she hasn't planned for and can't defend against on her own. Or get sick, or hurt, or unlucky in some fatal way.

So there's very little reason not to take risks. She has an idea of what her magic might do, if she uses it in this interesting-looking way, but if she's wrong, if it doesn't... well, she's not missing out on much, anyway.

 

She casts.

Permalink Mark Unread

He isn't allowed to attend the hearing where the Valar will debate whether his mother should stay dead forever.

 

Usually having the palace to himself would be wonderful but it's like there's a storm in his head and moving or thinking or anything at all shakes it and he can't focus and he's spent most of the time curled up in a ball wherever he is least likely to be bothered. He is there now.

Permalink Mark Unread

And then he's not alone.

The kobold appears in a clear spot. She's surprised to be anywhere, but not surprised enough that her instincts fail her. Her first priority: find someplace to hide until she's more familiar with the immediate area.

Permalink Mark Unread

A dog-like thing appears in the middle of the room. He stops crying to stare wonderingly at it; it immediately darts off to hide between a dresser and a block of stone for an unfinished sculpture. He feels an odd sense of camaraderie. He wonders if the Valar meant to put it outside rather than in the palace.

Permalink Mark Unread

The kobold listens. Her hearing is very good, good enough that she can navigate by it if need be, but the acoustics are strange, here; if he's being quiet, she's not going to notice him.

Then she trances, reaching out with her mage-sense...

Permalink Mark Unread

He is still being quiet; he's transfixed. He should go and get someone and tell them that there's a dog in the palace except he doesn't want to talk to people and the dog isn't bothering them.

Permalink Mark Unread

There's a person in the room. She loses the trance, freezes, then relaxes - it's far too late to worry about self-preservation now.

She waits, for a few minutes, considering her options.

Permalink Mark Unread

The dog seems scared. He doesn't usually read people but a scared dog is a bit different than a person.

 

He'd convey reassurances to the scared dog, but he doesn't have any. The dog should be scared. The world is awful.

Permalink Mark Unread

The person... also isn't moving. Are they okay?

She peeks out of her hiding place.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Are you supposed to be outside?" he says, even though dogs can't speak Quenya. "The Valar usually put animals outside but perhaps one of them forgot there was a city here. Since it's so new."

Permalink Mark Unread

...that sure is a little kid of some unfamiliar species. Speaking an unfamiliar language, too. They can't possibly be expecting her to answer ...or, well, maybe, if her guess of their age is really wrong... but what happens if she cocks her head to indicate curiosity?

Permalink Mark Unread

Dogs also don't stand on two feet like that. 

Or listen very attentively. 

Even people don't usually listen to him that attentively.

"Hi," he says. "You're in the palace. I'm guessing you didn't mean to be here. Palace." And he gestures around. "Fëanáro." At himself.

Permalink Mark Unread

She goes very still.

She blinks.

"...palace," she has an accent, but she's a very good mimic. "Fëanáro. Kobold," she pats her chest.

Permalink Mark Unread

"You can talk

 

I thought only the Quendi talked, that's why we were called that! Or are you one of the Aftercomers? A star shines on the hour of our meeting," he says formally but in earnest. "Kobold. Hello."

Permalink Mark Unread

This kid is pretty cute.

"Kobold talk. Hello," she says, conversationally, taking a single step out of her hiding place.

Permalink Mark Unread

"But - do you not have your own language? I don't mean to stop you from creating your own language, if you just got invented, and it doesn't make sense that anyone who could speak would go very long without doing it -"

Permalink Mark Unread

Confusion, again.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Sorry." He scratches his head. "Uh. Well, I'm not going to not talk to you, even if it messes something up, you need words for things if you don't have any. Uh. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten." He counts on his hands.

Permalink Mark Unread

She watches closely.

"One two three four," she counts, extending the fingers of her right hand. "Five," the first four fingers are tucked back in and one comes out on the left hand, "six," the first finger on the right hand comes back, "seven eight nine", more fingers accompany it, "ten," two fingers on the left hand, none on the right.

Permalink Mark Unread

He frowns. "We go by twelves. You go by fives?"

Permalink Mark Unread

She squints a bit.

"Five," she points to the first finger of her left hand with the first finger of her right, "ten, ten-five, ten-ten. Twelves?"

Permalink Mark Unread

He counts up to twelve. "Two-twelves, three-twelves, four-twelves."

Permalink Mark Unread

She continues watching attentively.

"Five, two fives, three fives, four fives," she demonstrates her left-hand numbers along with this new grammar. And then, "twelve, two twelves... three twelves." This last one involves a new gesture, one finger on her right hand extended over her left, and then the hand sign for eleven displayed afterward. "Talk fives, twelves...?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"I'm not sure what you mean," he says, engrossed.

Permalink Mark Unread

Hm.

"I'm not sure what you mean. Talk?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"That's what we're doing, yes. We're talking. We could, uh, sing?" He starts singing. "Now I am singing instead of talking."

Permalink Mark Unread

She grins, she sits. Oh, it's been too long since she's heard music.

"Kobolds sing," she offers, wistfully, when he stops.

Permalink Mark Unread

She looks happy. That feels good. "We have to sing quietly," he says, "people will hear us. Another song?" And he starts one.

Permalink Mark Unread

She listens until she thinks she has an idea of how the song goes, and then starts quietly humming a harmony.

Permalink Mark Unread

He's delighted and claps his hands together, but very quietly. When they're done - "want to teach me one of yours?"

Permalink Mark Unread

'Teach', that's going to be a useful word. Singing first, though. Here's something her tribe would sing together while traveling to and from the yearly meetup, fairly simple and not requiring any particular accompaniment.

Permalink Mark Unread

He smiles, listens, eventually joins in.

Permalink Mark Unread

She grins and pats the floor next to herself, still singing.

Permalink Mark Unread

He hesitates for a moment, but then he comes and sits down. "I don't like being touched."

Permalink Mark Unread

She doesn't know those words, but she can make a guess from the tone and the hesitation. She doesn't touch him; she does stop singing and look worried about him.

Permalink Mark Unread

He gestures annoyedly for her to continue singing.

Permalink Mark Unread

She holds the look for another second, but then starts singing again; this one's the sort of song you'd hear around a campfire at night, sweet and slow.

Permalink Mark Unread

He relaxes marginally.

 

 

Maybe she was supposed to land in the palace after all, to cheer him up. The idea makes him stiff and anxious again.

Permalink Mark Unread

She doesn't try to touch him; she doesn't stop singing. She does look worried, again.

Permalink Mark Unread

He continues to sit there, tense and miserable, considering it. They usually aren't clever enough to do something like that.

Permalink Mark Unread

The song ends. She sits silently for a few moments.

Permalink Mark Unread

So does he. He doesn't really want to do anything else. He wasn't doing anything when she came in.

Permalink Mark Unread

She watches him.

After a couple minutes, she disappears.

Permalink Mark Unread

He cries out, then realizes he doesn't want anyone coming, then looks around bewilderedly at the space where she vanished. He feels vaguely hurt and betrayed. He kicks the nearest piece of furniture.

Permalink Mark Unread

She reappears just after he does so, carrying a large leather bundle, and looks confusedly from him to the kicked chair.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Where did you go?" he says, hoping his tone will make up for the language barrier.

Permalink Mark Unread

She considers, and then shrugs, "go."

Permalink Mark Unread

"How? We can't do that. If I wanted to go I'd have to - open the door -" he gestures.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Go," she repeats, and then in the language she's more familiar with, "magic."

And then to demonstrate, she teleports a few feet to the left and back, staying within his field of vision.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Magic," he repeats, awed. "Can I do it?" He has a sudden feeling that he can, why not, and he jumps into the air. This doesn't work.

Permalink Mark Unread

This is such a cute kid.

She makes a gesture along the lines of 'calm down, first things first', and spreads her bundle out - it turns out to be a thick, heavy blanket - and sits. "Fëanáro teach talk?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Yes! Definitely! I just don't know how, I've never had to teach anyone to talk before."

Permalink Mark Unread

She grins.

"Fëanáro yes teach talk, kobold..."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Right. Okay. This is a box. This is a stone. This is Fëanáro, this is kobold. Fëanáro is an Elf. This stone is a sculpture..."

Permalink Mark Unread

She listens carefully. Her memory for this kind of thing is good, she's not going to need to stop him very soon.

Permalink Mark Unread

He finds it oddly therapeutic. He likes thinking about the kinds of sentences there are and how someone could learn how they work. He keeps going.

Permalink Mark Unread

She does eventually ask him to slow down a little, but then she can start repeating sentences back to him and trying new variations. It's kind of fun, or at least she thinks so.

Permalink Mark Unread

He thinks so too! It's the best thing ever, he should teach more people languages if there are people who don't have languages.

Permalink Mark Unread

This kid: so cute.

"Are there other kinds of people here?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Elves! Maiar! Valar! No one like you."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Tell me about Maiar and Valar?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"They invented the world! And most of them live in Valinor, and they make it safe and nice for us but they don't really understand us so sometimes they do silly things. They tried to save my mom but they couldn't and now they're trying to bring her back to life but they haven't. Yet."

Permalink Mark Unread

"...say it slower, smaller?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"The world," he says, gesturing. "Inventing, ah - I made this. If I take some clay and make a pot, I made that. The Valar made the world. Made Valinor." Gesturing again.

Permalink Mark Unread

She grins and looks impressed.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Yeah. They're really big and good. But they couldn't save my mom." He should be using osanwë for this, it'd be easier, but he's never really liked it. He makes a bit of effort anyway. "My mom was dying."

Permalink Mark Unread

Awww.

Is he looking any more huggable now?

 

...also how did she understand that, she didn't actually know those words...

Permalink Mark Unread

Probably worth the effort, if it means he can communicate - They tried to save my mom but they couldn't and now they're trying to bring her back to life but they haven't. Yet.

Permalink Mark Unread

...um.

UM.

That is very sad, but someone else's thoughts - those clearly aren't hers - in her head is alarming.

Permalink Mark Unread

Story told, he settles back on his heels and stares at her. "Magic?"

Permalink Mark Unread

The kobold takes a couple seconds to clear her head, and then another couple to consider this request, and then she gets a pendant from a jewelry box they looked through earlier. "I not teach magic. I give magic; I make pendant magic, you touch pendant, go here. Good?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Go where?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Here," she points to the floor. "Or other place. One place."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I want to learn how you do it," he says. "But okay. Here's a good place." And maybe he can learn by watching. He doesn't read her, he's old enough to know that's rude.

Permalink Mark Unread

It doesn't look like much; she holds the pendant and closes her eyes for a few seconds, and then puts it on and squeezes the pendant and is teleported a few feet to the right. She seems satisfied, and takes it off and holds it out for him to take.

Permalink Mark Unread

He squeezes it. Pop. He jumps and squeals and pops a few more times. "That's amazing. How far is the range?"

Permalink Mark Unread

She smiles at him.

"Any distance."

Permalink Mark Unread

Bounce - pop bounce-pop. "Can you make these for everyone? They're so nice."

Permalink Mark Unread

She giggles. "Can, yes."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Thank you! People will have so much fun!"

Permalink Mark Unread

She smiles, and waits for him to be done bouncing around.

Permalink Mark Unread

It is a fairly long wait. Eventually he's too tired to keep it up.

Permalink Mark Unread

She's patient.

"We go tell people about magic?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Not yet. I'm not supposed to be doing this and they'll get worried if you're not really supposed to be here."

Permalink Mark Unread

"You're not supposed to be doing what?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Hiding in the palace and crying. Or learning magic with strangers, maybe, not sure if I'm supposed to be doing that."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Not supposed to be learning magic," she nods, "but not doing learning magic. Why not supposed to be hiding?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"This would count as learning magic even though I can't do it myself yet. You usually can't on the first day, I'm just really impatient. I'm not supposed to hide because Father worries."

Permalink Mark Unread

She squints skeptically at the bit about the magic, and then harder at the bit about hiding. "Explain 'Father'?"

Permalink Mark Unread

He sends the concept for that; too hard to explain verbally, if she doesn't get it already.

Permalink Mark Unread

That is still pretty disconcerting but she has to admit it's handy.

"Choose a different Father?" she suggests, in a tone that sounds like this is an obvious and common solution to that sort of problem and she's not sure why he hasn't already done it.

Permalink Mark Unread

The tone is precisely what makes it confusing. As a joke it would have been a good one. "Huh?"

Permalink Mark Unread

She's confused at his confusion, and worried, too. She thinks about the words she has to explain this with.

"Hiding is good, if you're safe. Worrying is sometimes good, but worrying about hiding is bad; it," she demonstrates, biting down on her hand just hard enough to make the point, "hurts you. If Father hurts you, choose a different Father."

Permalink Mark Unread

Now he gets it, but she's just confused. He feels a little hollow at the realization. "My father is the King."

Permalink Mark Unread

Hm.

"Explain 'King'?"

Permalink Mark Unread

He does osanwë for that too. "We have a hundred thousand people. He's the King of all our people."

Permalink Mark Unread

She makes a face.

"Kobolds do groups, tribes, size ... eight-twelves, nine-twelves people. King doesn't be Father; many doing, not good, hurts people. Other people be Father."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Yeah. It should be that way too, but Kings are fathers. And he has a lot to do but that's not the biggest problem."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Enough problem. More problems more. Hurting you, big problem."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Yeah, I think so too. I love him, though. I think he loves me. When I'm working hard."

Permalink Mark Unread

She makes less of a face at that, anyway.

Permalink Mark Unread

"He's gone now anyway. Just me. I'm too little to be in charge when he's gone."

Permalink Mark Unread

Aww, kid's sad again. Well, that's why she brought the blanket: she picks it up and goes to drape it over his shoulders.

Permalink Mark Unread

He hugs it around himself tightly. "Can I watch you do the magic again so I can try to learn it?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Shouldn't learn magic. It's..." does she have a word for 'dangerous', no, she does not... "bad. Hurts."

Permalink Mark Unread

"That's okay with me," he says, a little too forcefully. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Kid, I don't have half the words I'd need to explain how to do it safely, you'd enspell yourself or something I couldn't find and break in time and just die, and that's on top of the bit where you don't have permission to learn it and that's very important...

"No."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I don't make mistakes," he objects to her thoughts, "I know I'm little but I'm really careful and I listen when I'm learning things."

Permalink Mark Unread

"You listen, okay; I can't talk. Need words."

Permalink Mark Unread

"We can keep talking until you have more words to discuss it with," he says agreeably. "I can sing you something with words, if that'll help?"

Permalink Mark Unread

Grin. "Okay."

Permalink Mark Unread

So he starts singing the story of Oromë meeting the Elves, playing with the pendant as he does.

Permalink Mark Unread

And she listens. What words might she pick up from this song?

Permalink Mark Unread

The song tells of how the Elves lived in fear beside Cuivienen, and then heard the crowing of a great trumpet and the thunder of Oromë's horse and some ran and screamed but some stood their ground and, seeing him, knew him for no enemy.

Permalink Mark Unread

The first bit is kinda upsetting and the second bit is kinda weird, but okay.

She's still not too pleased about this telepathy thing, but she has to admit it's handy for learning words.

Permalink Mark Unread

And she knows more words now, so now can she teach him magic?

Permalink Mark Unread

"... no, I need words for talk about magic."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Oh. I don't know anything about magic, so I don't know which words. Uh, the Valar have powerful magic? Not like yours, it works slower..."

Permalink Mark Unread

She shrugs. "I can stay, learn words, teach later?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Of course. I should get us food. But I want to learn magic right away."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Okay."

Permalink Mark Unread

He should get them food. He hadn't thought of it until he said it, but it's getting late. "What do you eat?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Most things - plants, animals."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Okay." He can walk down to the dining room and take food and pop off. People will be upset. He doesn't really care.

Permalink Mark Unread

She's still there when he gets back, examining the contents of the room.

Permalink Mark Unread

He offers her a plate with food. It's very elaborate. "People will probably look for me now that I took food and vanished, I'm not supposed to do that."

Permalink Mark Unread

She grins and ducks her head in a 'thank you' gesture at the food.

"...go to people?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"No. I don't want to talk with people. I spend too much time around them and it's usually awful."

Permalink Mark Unread

Shrug. "Okay."

She samples a little of each item on the plate, then starts eating in earnest.

Permalink Mark Unread

He sits down, smiling, and then starts wriggling again after a few seconds. "I want to keep talking so you know enough to teach magic but I don't know what things to say."

Permalink Mark Unread

She grins fondly at him. "Need lots of words." You'll have to be patient.

Permalink Mark Unread

He brightens. Oh, you do do osanwë! I'm very disorganized at it but you can tell me that way.

Permalink Mark Unread

...uh? She cocks her head again.

"Osanwë?"

Permalink Mark Unread

Osanwë is talking like this instead of aloud.

Permalink Mark Unread

?????????????????

She stops and thinks.

Like this?

Permalink Mark Unread

Yes!!! There are ways to do more specific things but no one's taught me. But you can talk this way even if you don't share a language, it sends concepts along with words so it's easier to pick up.

Permalink Mark Unread

Huh. Okay.

There's three different problems with me teaching you my magic.

One is that it's dangerous to learn, and I only know one kind and the kind I know is especially dangerous. It's not that it hurts, it's that it can kill you. There are ways to make it safer but I'd want to know you better to be sure you'd do them.

The second is that knowing my magic will let you be dangerous to the people around you, so I need permission from them to teach you.

The third is that I don't know what the customs are about children here, and I want to check and make sure this is a decision you're ready to make for yourself - you seem to be very young to learn something like magic, it's usually only taught to older adults among my people.

Permalink Mark Unread

Oh.

 

How is teleporting dangerous? It seems safe to me - all it does is take you places faster...

Permalink Mark Unread

Learning my kind of magic at all is dangerous. The first several spells you cast will seem to work right for a while, and then they stop working right, and then if you don't break them before they break themselves you die. Usually people practice with spells that just do light, but I don't know how to do that - and if a teleportation spell stops working right it might teleport to someplace where you can't find it to break it.

Permalink Mark Unread

Oh.

 

I don't want to die. Will you die if you don't break my pendant? He offers it to her.

Permalink Mark Unread

No, the pendant is fine. She grins warmly. After a while the spells stop doing that, and I learned in a special way that made it so they never did that for me anyway. I can't teach it the way I learned it, though.

Permalink Mark Unread

How did you learn it?

Permalink Mark Unread

...I was with my tribe, she's suddenly very sad, and a crystal teleported into the air and fell on me, and when it touched me I got teleportation magic as my inspired gift, all at once.

 

And then they exiled me.

Permalink Mark Unread

...that's so awful. That's so so awful. I'm so sorry.

Permalink Mark Unread

Yeah, it was.

 

I want a hug. It's okay if you don't want to hug me, though.

Permalink Mark Unread

I want to hug you. A lot. An awful lot.

Permalink Mark Unread

Kobolds are good for hugging. She grins a little.

Permalink Mark Unread

He hugs her. Kobolds are extremely cuddly. He is not sure why he's crying.

Permalink Mark Unread

She shudders and leans into the hug, trying not to cling. You're a good kid, Fëanáro.

Permalink Mark Unread

They're mean and shouldn't have done that.

Permalink Mark Unread

She sighs, sadly. They were scared. People do all kinds of bad things when they're scared.

Permalink Mark Unread

By Cuivienen we were very scared but I don't think we exiled people except for Kinslaying.

Permalink Mark Unread

That's good. Being exiled is pretty awful.

Permalink Mark Unread

I can't even imagine. Well. No one will make you leave here. You can join my tribe. It's called the Noldor.

Permalink Mark Unread

That gets a smile, though her posture is still sad and exhausted. What are they like?

Permalink Mark Unread

We like beautiful things and we like inventing and creating and building, and we take joy in words and language and names.

Permalink Mark Unread

Oh.

Kobolds don't have names; most kobolds don't talk at all.

Permalink Mark Unread

You don't have a name?

Permalink Mark Unread

I don't. But it's fine; I'm a kobold, that's normal for us.

Permalink Mark Unread

It's not normal for us. What should I call you? Do you want a name/ We can have an essecarmë, a naming ceremony, where you pick one.

Permalink Mark Unread

You can just call me kobold. Or mimic me, that's what we do. She demonstrates a bouncy Fëanáro face. I might pick a name eventually but I don't want to, I don't want to forget what I am.

Permalink Mark Unread

...okay. How do people not talk aren't they lonely all the time?

Permalink Mark Unread

She grins. We cuddle a lot, and we sing, and we do things together. Talking makes some things easier, but knowing people is about paying attention to them, not talking.

Permalink Mark Unread

...I think it's about talking.

Permalink Mark Unread

Well, maybe it's different when everybody can talk. But among kobolds, there's a special job for people who can, since not everybody is able to learn and learning is dangerous - we call ourselves Speakers, but most of the job is understanding the other kobolds in the tribe so you can Speak for them to people who don't know them well enough to understand them themselves. Which means we have to be very, very good at understanding people without talking to them.

Permalink Mark Unread

We're called the Quendi. It means speakers. It wouldn't - we wouldn't be a people without it.

Permalink Mark Unread

She makes a face. People in my world think you have to talk to be people, too. They're wrong.

Permalink Mark Unread

You have to talk to be Quendi. Not to be kobold, but definitely to be us. We sang even before we knew songs were magic.

Permalink Mark Unread

Well, she snuggles into the hug. I talk, anyway.

Permalink Mark Unread

I am glad. Otherwise I'd have been very confused when I met you and thought you were a new kind of animal.

Permalink Mark Unread

...you wouldn't've been confused for long. I wouldn't have stayed.

Permalink Mark Unread

Where would you have gone?

Permalink Mark Unread

I don't know. Back, maybe.

Permalink Mark Unread

Why did you come here?

Permalink Mark Unread

Sigh. Snuggle. I wasn't aiming. If I go back and stay there I'll die. If I go somewhere without knowing anything about it, maybe I'd die faster but that's better than waiting and maybe I won't die at all. But living somewhere where everyone thinks I'm an animal is worse than dying.

Permalink Mark Unread

I can't think of anything worse than dying.

Permalink Mark Unread

That's good. She's decidedly sincere.

Permalink Mark Unread

I don't like that no one takes me seriously and if I couldn't talk that'd be awful. But I could still invent things and go somewhere where there weren't any people to bother me if they hurt too much to be around.

Permalink Mark Unread

Kobolds don't do very well alone.

Permalink Mark Unread

He hugs her. Oh. In the Outer Lands we didn't either, but this is Valinor and it's safe here.

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. I'm not sure that's the same thing. I need to be safe, but I need to not be lonely, too. I'm not sure loneliness can kill me by itself but it feels like it.

Permalink Mark Unread

I'm lonely a lot and for me it's not nearly as bad as being dead but I guess people are different.

Permalink Mark Unread

The kobold's hug gets slightly more emphatic. Well, I might be able to do something about that.

Permalink Mark Unread

People are just yell-y and hard to be around.

Permalink Mark Unread

What do they yell about?

Permalink Mark Unread

Me doing things wrong. Me being difficult. Me being mean. I don't know.

Permalink Mark Unread

Well, you haven't been mean to me, she asserts. Do you know how to do the things they say you're doing wrong the way they want you to do them?

Permalink Mark Unread

Some of them but I don't want to. Some of them I really can't.

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod, hug. Yelling at someone for not knowing how to do things is silly and wrong and I should Speak to them about that. The ones you don't want to, why don't you want to?

Permalink Mark Unread

Makes me feel sad or trapped. Or like I shouldn't exist.

Permalink Mark Unread

Yikes.

Those are good reasons. What kinds of things are they asking you to do, that make you feel like that? If you want to tell me; it's okay if you don't.

Permalink Mark Unread

Sit still. Stay in the palace. Don't run off.

Permalink Mark Unread

'Don't run off' I can understand - you should have someone with you if you might run into something dangerous. But asking you not to go places at all sounds pretty awful to me, do you know why they're doing that?

Permalink Mark Unread

My father gets scared I'll get hurt even though this is Valinor and there's nothing dangerous.

Permalink Mark Unread

That wouldn't be an okay thing to do even if there were dangerous things. My world has plenty of dangerous things but we wouldn't let someone hatch an egg in the first place if we thought they were going to treat a kid like that. You can't protect someone from maybe getting hurt by doing something that's going to hurt them for sure.

Permalink Mark Unread

Yeah. But he's really sad. With my mom dying and everything. And he's the King so everyone listens to him.

Permalink Mark Unread

There has to be some way for people to let a chief know when they're doing things wrong, she scowls a bit, or you get problems like this. Well, I can tell them, maybe that will help.

Permalink Mark Unread

He cuddles her. Yes, I think so. They don't listen to me because I'm a kid.

Permalink Mark Unread

Her scowl takes on an incredulous tone. How are they supposed to know what you need, if you learn about each other by talking and they don't listen to you? That doesn't make sense.

Permalink Mark Unread

They think they know better than me because they're big and I'm small.

Permalink Mark Unread

Continued incredulousness. They know more, sure, but there are still things you know and they don't. Especially things about yourself, especially if they aren't listening to you.

She thinks to herself for a few seconds and then shakes her head.

You really don't have Speakers here, do you. Because, like... it's not just that this is the kind of problem a Speaker would be asked to solve, it's that people would realize it's a problem because it's the kind of problem a Speaker would solve, I think.

Well. You have a Speaker now. Hug.

Permalink Mark Unread

We don't, no. Hug. I kind of like the idea.

Permalink Mark Unread

She grins. Good, I'm glad.

It is probably going to take me a little while to start getting things to change. I think I know you pretty well for just having met you, but I don't know anyone else yet at all, and this might be complicated - especially with other things going on, and especially if they aren't used to Speakers. But I'll try to be as fast as I can, okay? And if there's anything you need in the meantime, let me know and I'll see if I can make it happen.

Permalink Mark Unread

You don't have to fix everything. You're sad too. It's okay. I don't want to be a burden.

Permalink Mark Unread

She tilts her head, confused and just slightly alarmed.

Okay, now I'm not sure if you didn't mean it when you invited me to be part of your tribe earlier, or if Quendi tribes work so differently that I shouldn't be thinking of them as the same thing at all. Or maybe you're confused about what tribes are for, I guess it could be that.

Permalink Mark Unread

I meant it, he says. Why are you confused?

Permalink Mark Unread

Tribes are for taking care of each other. That's what they're for. When I was alone, I missed having people take care of me, but I missed having people to take care of, too - both of those are part of being in a tribe. And if you're my tribemate and something's hurting you, it hurts me, too. It might not hurt me as much, and it might be harder for me to do anything about it, but someone in the tribe being hurt makes the tribe weaker and that's not good for anyone in it.

Permalink Mark Unread

But I'm not doing anything for you. And I killed my mom. I do make the tribe weaker, just by existing.

Permalink Mark Unread

The kobold.... stops. Blinks. Is very still, for just a moment.

You're a kid. She seems distracted. You make the tribe stronger by making it bigger, and by learning how to do things the tribe will need you to do when you're an adult. I don't expect you to do anything for me personally; you're my tribemate, that's good enough reason for me to make sure you have what you need.

Do you want to tell me what happened, with your mom? She has, up to this point, been dropping everyone's gender when she refers to them in osanwë, but this time she echoes the concept verbatim.

Permalink Mark Unread

We don't know. She was so happy and active and alive and then she gave birth to me and got sicker and sicker and sadder and sadder.

Permalink Mark Unread

Good grief these Quendi. At this rate she'd have an easier time going home and trying to reason with some elves.

That doesn't sound to me like you killed anyone. That sounds like something happened when you were a baby and couldn't've been responsible for anything at all.

Permalink Mark Unread

It still happened because of me.

Permalink Mark Unread

Maybe. If you don't know what happened you can't actually know that. And even if it did, there's a difference between something that happened because of you and something you did.

Hugs. Very hugs.

Permalink Mark Unread

I guess. Doesn't feel like much of one. She's still dead.

Permalink Mark Unread

Deep breath. Hug, such hug.

Yeah. And that's pretty awful, I know. But you're alive, right? And you're going to keep being. We can't do anything about them being dead, but maybe we can find a way for you to feel okay anyway.

Permalink Mark Unread

She could come back. But she doesn't want to, she likes being dead.

Permalink Mark Unread

......oh. That's... not how it works, for kobolds. But it's still not something we can do anything about, even if it is kind of... squeeze. I wish your family was better to you.

Permalink Mark Unread

It's not their fault, it's me.

Permalink Mark Unread

Sigh. Hug.

Permalink Mark Unread

Hug. Very hug. Until - can we do more magic? A safe kind?

Permalink Mark Unread

She perks up at that. I can make more magic things for you, sure. Or I can put more spells on that one, maybe, I don't have very much practice at that yet though. Where would you want to teleport to?

Permalink Mark Unread

...The gates of the city?

Permalink Mark Unread

She gives him a stern look, its effect rather ruined by the grin on he face. Are you going to go out where it might be dangerous without someone with you to help keep you safe, if I do that?

Permalink Mark Unread

No. Only because there's nowhere dangerous.

Permalink Mark Unread

All right, then. She's grinning in earnest now. I'll have to see the place to make a spell that can bring you there, do you know how to get there from here?

Permalink Mark Unread

He tries tracing her a mental map of the city. People will see you and be distracted and want to say hello, though.

Permalink Mark Unread

That will probably be okay - I'm not sure how I'm going to do around strangers after this long alone, but I can come back if it's too much.

Permalink Mark Unread

How long have you been alone?

Permalink Mark Unread

Almost two seasons. It's kind of unusual for most kobolds to go more than a few days by themselves, and even that's not something we'd demand of anyone. I've always been better at being by myself than most people but nothing like this.

Permalink Mark Unread

He hugs her again. I'm so sorry. That's so awful. I'm really mad at them for what they did.

Permalink Mark Unread

Hug, squeeze. Yeah.

Permalink Mark Unread

We've never kicked out anyone. So you don't need to be scared.

Permalink Mark Unread

Hug. Well, if people don't want me to stay, I'm not going to stay anyway, even if they don't do anything besides letting me know. But it helps a lot to know that somebody does want me to. She grins, a bit wryly.

Permalink Mark Unread

But where would you go?

Permalink Mark Unread

I can find someplace nice, I bet. If I actually try to. It's already nicer here than I was expecting, even if it turns out that I can't stay.

Permalink Mark Unread

Please don't leave.

Permalink Mark Unread

Oh, kid. Such hugs.

I will do my best not to. And if I have to, and you want to come with me, you can.

Permalink Mark Unread

I can't leave my father, he'd never get over it.

Permalink Mark Unread

Well, we'll see what happens. I can be pretty charming when I want to, I don't actually think they're going to want me to leave. I just don't know very much about anything, here, and I don't want to make a promise and then not be able to keep it, that wouldn't be fair to you.

Permalink Mark Unread

Okay. You don't have to go to the gate anytime soon, we can go to my room and sleep there tonight.

Permalink Mark Unread

Snuggle. I'd like that. Kobolds don't usually sleep alone, that's been hard for me. But I can try for the gate too, if there's time - even if I don't make it, the first try should make the second try easier.

Permalink Mark Unread

But if you get lost it might take a long time and I'd miss you.

Permalink Mark Unread

I don't need a pendant to teleport, I just need to know where I'm going, she grins, and hugs him again. I can just come back if I get lost.

Permalink Mark Unread

Okay. He sits back down. Come back soon.

Permalink Mark Unread

I will.

She trances and reaches out to examine the surrounding area with her mage-sense, and then teleports to a room a few doors away and one floor down and attempts to find her way out of the palace from there.

...she's not very familiar with buildings of any sort, much less big ones. Caves, yes, but that's only sort of a relevant skill set. This might not go as planned. At least she can teleport through walls, if she can't figure out the doorknobs?

Permalink Mark Unread

People will see her and be startled and slightly anxious, if not hostile or anything.

Permalink Mark Unread

Does friendly, confident body language while not actually inviting interaction help? 'Cause she can totally do that.

Permalink Mark Unread

This does deter people from actually stopping her. They're still definitely staring. Some of them ask questions in their language.

Permalink Mark Unread

Staring, she'll ignore for now, but questions do get her to stop.

I'm sorry, I don't speak your language yet.

Permalink Mark Unread

Can we help you find something? How did you end up in the palace?

Permalink Mark Unread

By magic, unintentionally. I'm trying to find the way out, actually.

Permalink Mark Unread

They are happy to show her the way out!

Permalink Mark Unread

And then she's out!

What does out look like?

Permalink Mark Unread

Out looks like a very very bright, very dazzling, very crowded city square, with twelve streets all coming together in a glorious and very tall and very complicated fountain. There are people everywhere. All of them look like the same sort of people as Fëanáro, and most of them glitter. They glitter with jewelry, with hairpieces, with clothing, with things they are carrying and throwing; the things dangling from their buildings glitter too. 

 

There are children in the fountain, darting through the streets, everywhere; there are adults around them, hugging, laughing, handing things out to passersby, lying in the bright golden light. 

Permalink Mark Unread

That is a lot of people. A lot of people. Possibly more people than the kobold has seen in her life to date.

She's going to just... sit. Right. Sitting. Is there a nearby sittable thing? Ground's fine but she'd like to be a little less conspicuous than that if she can.

She's shaking, she notices eventually. That's definitely a thing that's happening right now.

Permalink Mark Unread

Luckily the people mostly ignore her. Eventually a small child comes running over. "Hi! Are you okay? Can I pet you?"

Permalink Mark Unread

Kobold status: too overwhelmed for talking, osanwë, or even really pulling her body language together properly. But the kid is comprehensible enough; she grins, pats the bench beside herself, and offers her head for scritching.

Permalink Mark Unread

Head scritches! This makes other people less curious; clearly someone knows what's going on, so the situation is okay now.

Permalink Mark Unread

That helps, on top of the scritches themselves. The kobold stops shaking and perks up considerably.

Permalink Mark Unread

The kid is loyally still scritching, but grabs a candied fruit of some kind from someone walking by and offers her one with the other hand.

Permalink Mark Unread

Aww. Thank you. She takes the fruit and tries it.

Permalink Mark Unread

The kid chatters something incomprehensible about the fruit.

Permalink Mark Unread

Sorry, I don't speak your language yet. This is tasty, though.

Permalink Mark Unread

A smile. He runs off to get her more foods and comes back with an armful.

Permalink Mark Unread

This gets a giggle. Is that all supposed to be for me? I don't think I can eat that much; I already had one dinner.

Permalink Mark Unread

To see what you like!

Permalink Mark Unread

Oh! Good idea!

And so she samples some things, and is diplomatic about the ones she doesn't like and praises the ones she does.

(She's still kind of wary, under it all. But you'd have to be watching her pretty closely to notice.)

Permalink Mark Unread

The kid is grinning at her approvingly. The kid's parents come over to ask what's going on, and get an explanation she cannot quite follow but that is obviously to the effect 'aren't they cute I was trying to find which foods they like'.

Permalink Mark Unread

She grins at the parents and dips her head in a friendly way. Sorry, I don't know your language yet. Your kid, she mimics his body language for a moment, and incidentally sends an osanwë image of him along with it, is very nice.

Permalink Mark Unread

They smile back at her and bow slightly.

Permalink Mark Unread

That's kind of weird, the bowing. Maybe it means something different here? But she hasn't seen anyone else doing it...

Well, she keeps smiling, anyway. I should probably get going. Thank you again.

Permalink Mark Unread

Have a lovely day!

Permalink Mark Unread

You too!

 

One of the first things the kobold looked for when she sat, even before she noticed the (now absent) shaking, was a secluded corner where she could teleport in or out without being seen, that she could get to without having to cross the chaos of the square. She goes to it, now, and teleports back up to Fëanáro's hiding place.

Permalink Mark Unread

He's no longer there.

Permalink Mark Unread

Well.

The kobold goes back to her hiding place by the dresser, and waits the twenty minutes or so that it takes for her heart rate to return to more-or-less normal.

Then, if he's not back, she goes looking for him, stretching her mage-sense out to teleport five or six rooms at a time, being careful to only teleport to uninhabited ones and doing a quick check of anyone she finds along the way to see if they're the right height and build.

Permalink Mark Unread

There is someone Fëanáro-sized alone in one of the rooms.

Permalink Mark Unread

Is there also a hiding space from which she can check if it's actually him?

Permalink Mark Unread

There's a fair bit of furniture in the room. She could try the closet?

Permalink Mark Unread

She's still not too clear on this whole 'doors' thing, but behind some furniture is probably good enough.

Permalink Mark Unread

It is Fëanáro. He is in a bed and sleeping.

Permalink Mark Unread

Awww.

She hides under the bed and goes to sleep herself.

Permalink Mark Unread

She'll wake before he does.

Permalink Mark Unread

She stays long enough to decide that he's not going to wake up imminently, and then steels herself and teleports back down to the square. The sky is deeply weird, here - there's no sun? What? - but maybe it'll be dark, and maybe there'll be fewer people now even if it's not.

She checks, before she steps out of her secluded corner - does it sound like there are fewer people?

Permalink Mark Unread

It's not dark - if anything, even brighter - but there are slightly fewer people.

Permalink Mark Unread

She goes back to the bench and people-watches for a while, projecting a pleased confidence that she's only slightly closer to actually feeling today.

Permalink Mark Unread

She gets offered more food! And jewelry! And scarves and things!

Permalink Mark Unread

This is moderately terrifying!

She politely accepts things from the first two people to approach her and then flees (politely!) back to Fëanáro's room.

Permalink Mark Unread

He's awake and bounces on the bed when he sees her.

Permalink Mark Unread

She seems to be sort of vaguely horrified at the scarf and necklace she's holding, and looks up when he bounces.

Your world is really weird. What am I supposed to be doing with these?

Permalink Mark Unread

Wear them if you like them. They're presents. Otherwise you can take them apart to learn how they were made, or use them to decorate. Don't they have scarfs and necklaces in your world?

Permalink Mark Unread

We have scarves and necklaces, that's not what I'm confused about. Why were people coming up to me to give me things at all, that doesn't make any sense.

Permalink Mark Unread

You didn't have any on, and might want some?

Permalink Mark Unread

She doesn't look less horrified, but it does shift to a sort of amused horror.

Okay. (She really doesn't sound like it's okay.) I suppose I can get used to that, or something.

Permalink Mark Unread

What's wrong with it?

Permalink Mark Unread

She considers.

It's a very different kind of demand than I'm used to. And it'd be very rude in all kinds of ways, among kobolds. But I can get used to going around wearing things so people know I have them, if that's how things are done here.

Permalink Mark Unread

You can also just say 'no, thank you'. 

Permalink Mark Unread

I might. But I'm trying to make a good impression and it seemed like that would have been even more rude.

Permalink Mark Unread

Not at all, don't worry.

Permalink Mark Unread

Okay.

Did you sleep all right? She sits on the edge of the bed and puts the necklace and scarf down beside herself.

Permalink Mark Unread

I don't like sleeping, I miss so many things. And I was going to find you so we could sleep together.

Permalink Mark Unread

Well, I found you, anyway, I slept under your bed. She grins. It was nice. I'm sorry I took so long getting back, though; the place right outside the palace is so crowded, it's disorienting.

Permalink Mark Unread

King's Square? You should see it during festivals. The Noldor are a very big tribe.

Permalink Mark Unread

She chuckles. Maybe I'll be ready to do more than sit and look at it by then; do you know when the next one is?

Permalink Mark Unread

They're all the time. A few weeks, I think.

Permalink Mark Unread

Oh, that's soon. Maybe, though.

Do you want to come sit with me next time I go to watch the crowd? It'd help to have someone else there.

Permalink Mark Unread

Not supposed to wander off. He sighs.

Permalink Mark Unread

That really shouldn't count. Not with an adult right there with you.

Permalink Mark Unread

I don't know if you count as an adult, they don't know you yet.

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. Do you have any ideas about how to introduce me?

Permalink Mark Unread

When the King gets back it will be easy. I could just walk through the halls introducing you to people, I guess. Or we could practice more Quenya. 

Permalink Mark Unread

I should learn some more Quenya, yeah. But if you want to try introducing me to people now, we can do that first.

Permalink Mark Unread

So he walks through the palace. You usually introduce people by their names so this is a little confusing.

Permalink Mark Unread

If there aren't any other kobolds here I could just use 'kobold' as my name, or would that be confusing too?

Permalink Mark Unread

That works! And I will tell them you haven't chosen a name in the sense we mean it, so they know what to call you but also that you don't have a name name.

Permalink Mark Unread

Sure, that's fine.

Permalink Mark Unread

And he introduces her to everyone in the palace.

Permalink Mark Unread

And she's charming and personable and takes breaks when she needs to to keep doing that and only shakes a little bit.

How do they seem to take it?

Permalink Mark Unread

They like her! They are confused and the word "Maia' is used a lot, but they like her and convey that she is welcome.

Permalink Mark Unread

During one of the breaks, she asks Fëanáro about the Maia thing.

Permalink Mark Unread

They are - minor spirits of creation. That's what people think you are because it's what all the people who aren't Quendi are.

Permalink Mark Unread

Ah. That makes sense, then.

It's a little weird to me that you have so few kinds of people here. My world has dozens.

Permalink Mark Unread

Really? What are they all like?

Permalink Mark Unread

Well, most of them are animalpeople, and the animalpeople I'm most familiar with are the tigerfolk, who live in tiny little tribes the size of a family or two and don't stay in the same place very long. They're kind of scary but all right if you get to know them, mostly. And then there's the ones that make cities and stay in the same place all the time, that's elves and goblins and dwarves and humans. I've never met a dwarf or a human, but one of the tribes has a goblin for their Speaker, so I know a little bit about those - their culture isn't very nice, it's all about fighting with them, but the goblin I know is just fine, I think as people they might be okay. And then there's some kinds of people that live underground, ogres and troglodytes and stuff, I don't know very much about those at all - goblins build their cities underground, so the goblin Speaker has some stories about the people who live there, but they don't come to the surface, so I've never met any of them.

Permalink Mark Unread

Oh. Yeah, it's just us here. No one's ever seen an animal that's a person, there aren't even any stories, except the Maiar so they assume that's you. The Maiar are very powerful and important, even the little ones. Also nice though.

Permalink Mark Unread

Maybe someday I can meet one. Anyway, I think I'm ready to go again now if you want.

Permalink Mark Unread

Okay

And they head to the edge of King's Square and sit in the shade of the palace. Now even more people notice them, and they bow to each of them and offer more things. Fëanáro says no thank you because apparently kobolds don't know how.

Permalink Mark Unread

And the kobold watches closely when he does, particularly paying attention to how people react to it.

Permalink Mark Unread

People smile at him and keep walking. It is not rude or a disaster in any way.

Permalink Mark Unread

Then she'll try saying no on her own behalf, ready to backpedal if she gets a different reaction than he did.

Permalink Mark Unread

She gets the same reaction.

Permalink Mark Unread

Good! That's a fairly important step toward being able to navigate this new culture comfortably.

With that sorted out, she accepts the next few fruit-based offerings. Breakfast: nom. Fëanáro: hug?

Permalink Mark Unread

Sure! He hugs her. He's cheered up noticeably just being outside and is examining several of the things he's been given.

Permalink Mark Unread

Well, yeah, of course he has. And look at him not running off at all. Why did they think this was a bad idea, again?

She will pretty comfortably sit there all morning, watching the crowd.

Permalink Mark Unread

He does in fact run off. Just a little bit; he follows someone down the street asking them questions and then sees something shiny in a shop window.

Permalink Mark Unread

She follows; she's probably quick enough to catch up to him while he's talking to the person, but hangs back and waits, and instead comes up beside him when he's stopped to look in the window. What'cha looking at?

Permalink Mark Unread

He shows her. It's a mirror; they don't have glass yet so it's just polished and lacquered metal of some kind. It reflects whatever hits it, almost perfectly! Isn't that neat?

Permalink Mark Unread

Oh, wow. Is that metalworking, or some kind of magic?

Permalink Mark Unread

I am going to ask the person who made it! And he proceeds inside to do that.

Permalink Mark Unread

She balks just slightly at walking through the doorway, but follows after a moment; she doesn't hover, but examines the other things in the shop - without touching them - from close enough to keep an ear on the conversation.

Permalink Mark Unread

And the shopkeeper earnestly engages Fëanáro in a fast-paced Quenya conversation about how mirrors are made. They are not magic.

Permalink Mark Unread

Fëanáro is neither in danger nor apparently violating any local customs. She's not going to interrupt him.

Permalink Mark Unread

And eventually he walks away with the mirror, looking gleeful. Isn't it neat??

Permalink Mark Unread

She giggles. Yeah! Do you want me to teleport it to your room so you don't need to carry it around?

Permalink Mark Unread

I want to try making my own.

Permalink Mark Unread

Your own mirror? That might be neat. I have no idea where you'd start, though.

Permalink Mark Unread

He explained it to me, a little bit! We're going to need lots of things - let's go get them...

Permalink Mark Unread

I still can't go places much more crowded than this, she points out. And we should probably let them get used to you going out regularly before you go anywhere on your own, even if that is kind of silly for them to worry about. But if we can find a way to get there that isn't too crowded, that's fine with me, she grins.

Permalink Mark Unread

Why don't you like crowds? And I can order them to clear off, I guess.

Permalink Mark Unread

It's a lot of people, and I'm not used to the way they move - back home the only time I'd see anything close to this many people would be at a meetup, and everything would be sort of organized; I'd be able to look at everything and see what people were doing easily and know that they didn't need me for anything, and I can't do that here yet, so I keep trying to look at everybody and figure it out, and it's too much.

Ordering them to clear off sounds really rude, to me. Is that a normal kind of thing to do here?

Permalink Mark Unread

It would be a little rude but if I had a reason and told people the reason then they wouldn't mind. And I've done ruder things and nothing bad happens except that my dad is sad and disappointed and he's that anyway.

Permalink Mark Unread

It might be that they mind and don't tell you. That might be why people complain about you being mean.

Permalink Mark Unread

Well, they do, so now I may as well do things that let you move around.

Permalink Mark Unread

I can probably get them to stop, and it'll be easier to do that if you stop doing rude things first. And, there's a reason rude things are considered rude - they only hurt people a little but they do still hurt them.

Permalink Mark Unread

I don't think that's why.

Permalink Mark Unread

Oh?

Permalink Mark Unread

I think it's mostly to say 'you are thinking you are more important than you are'.

Permalink Mark Unread

Ah.

It can mean that too, depending on what rude things you're doing. It is okay to do rude things sometimes - that's why they're just rude and not wrong - but only if not doing them is going to hurt things more than doing them would. So if you've been doing things that hurt other people more than they help you - or that seem to do that, I think the people you've been dealing with don't have a very good idea of how much you're hurting and how important it should be to do something about that - and then not acting like you see why that's bad, people might think you think that.

Permalink Mark Unread

And then hate me.

Permalink Mark Unread

Oh, kid. Hugs.

I'm going to be really upset with them if they do. They have done such a bad job of making sure you have what you need, they really don't get to complain when you try to get it yourself, no matter how many mistakes you've made with it.

Permalink Mark Unread

He looks vaguely confused. I just don't want everyone to hate me.

Permalink Mark Unread

And they shouldn't. She's pretty emphatic about this. And if I see that they do I'll do something about that.

Permalink Mark Unread

He smiles. Thank you. 

 

I don't think they'd think it's rude. I'm definitely allowed to do it.

Permalink Mark Unread

 

Rude to what, hate people?

Permalink Mark Unread

No, to ask them to leave so you don't feel nervous.

Permalink Mark Unread

Ah.

I'm pretty sure it is - I know I'd be pretty unhappy if someone demanded that of me. Maybe we can find a way to where you want to go without doing that?

Permalink Mark Unread

Even if they told you the reason? "my friend is nervous, can you go somewhere else so she can walk down the street and not be afraid"?

Permalink Mark Unread

I'd be less unhappy then, but it'd still be an inconvenience and I'd still be unhappy. And if there are enough people that we'd need to do that, then a lot of people will be inconvenienced, so it'd have to be something pretty important to be worth it.

Permalink Mark Unread

Huh.

 

All the streets are crowded, it's what streets are for. We could climb on the roof.

Permalink Mark Unread

She peers at the local architecture.

That's a good idea. I bet I can teleport us up.

Permalink Mark Unread

Cool!

Permalink Mark Unread

She grins and hugs him one more time, then unhugs and closes her eyes for a few seconds and then offers him her hand. We're going there first - she points to a two-story building, one of the lowest around, with a flat roof - and then you can point out where to go next.

Permalink Mark Unread

Roof-hopping is so much fun and he is so, so happy. 

Permalink Mark Unread

She is pleased to oblige, and does her best to keep them to low buildings with flat roofs.

Permalink Mark Unread

A couple people see them and are startled at the teleporting.

Permalink Mark Unread

She notices, and smiles down at them while Fëanáro works out their next destination.

Permalink Mark Unread

They don't object, in any event.

Permalink Mark Unread

Good.

Roof teleportation is a pretty cool method of transportation, and also faster than walking, if not by much when you aren't very familiar with the roofs you're teleporting between. (And if Fëanáro wants to take the occasional detour, well, she's not in a hurry.)

Permalink Mark Unread

He does, but not too many. They reach the gates of the city. They are very tall and white.

Permalink Mark Unread

She teleports them as close as possible and then peers down at street level. What's going on down there? And what are the gates like?

Permalink Mark Unread

The gates are open and unguarded. People are passing through and carting things and hanging around talking.

Permalink Mark Unread

And she can handle that level of crowd. She trances to get the location signature of a good spot at street level, and then offers Fëanáro her hand again.

Do you want your gate spell to put you somewhere in particular?

Permalink Mark Unread

He points at a clear spot. What happens if next time there's people there?

Permalink Mark Unread

It'll find a clear spot nearby, and if there isn't one close enough it just won't work.

Permalink Mark Unread

Hmm. Up on the walls'd always be clear?

Permalink Mark Unread

She peers at the walls. Would you be able to get down from there okay?

Permalink Mark Unread

Yes definitely, but there won't be as many people so it'll work more often.

Permalink Mark Unread

I'd have to make the spell use a much smaller 'nearby' to make sure you always landed on the wall, though. It might not actually be more reliable - it'd depend on how often there are people up there and how often it gets really crowded down here.

Permalink Mark Unread

Oh. Hmm, the grass right outside the city? That's usually empty.

Permalink Mark Unread

Remember you're not going to be able to see what's there before you teleport. If it's ever dangerous outside the walls, that's a bad idea.

Permalink Mark Unread

It's not. This is Valinor. Nothing is ever dangerous.

Permalink Mark Unread

...

Permalink Mark Unread

Really. No one has ever died except my mom.

Permalink Mark Unread

 

 

That sounds pretty impossible. No one?

Permalink Mark Unread

Nope. Is the place you're from dangerous?

Permalink Mark Unread

......yes? I mean, not very, most of the time, but people die of things even in good years. Even if you don't count dying of old age people die of things even in good years.

Permalink Mark Unread

Not here. What's old age?

Permalink Mark Unread

Most kinds of people only live so long, in my world. Kobolds live around 125 to 150 years, maybe a little longer than that, if we don't die of anything else first.

I still don't believe that nobody dies here. What about accidents and stuff?

Permalink Mark Unread

We are very durable and the Valar can get there very fast. If you do die they'll put you back, but no one's died except my mom.

Permalink Mark Unread

 

 

Huh.

I still think I shouldn't give you a spell to put you outside the walls without knowing more about things here. It might cause problems even if it's not actually dangerous.

Permalink Mark Unread

But - it's right next to the gate, I could just walk outside the walls from there!

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. And for some things that'll matter but for other things it won't. For example, this way I can say I've only given you spells to let you teleport inside the city. And if there is ever a reason to close the gate, you'll be on the right side of it when you find that out. And I can always give you another spell later if those things turn out not to matter and this one is inconvenient.

Permalink Mark Unread

 Okay. To this side of the gate then, I guess. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Okay. One minute. And she goes to the indicated spot, her ears sliding back only slightly in stress as she navigates the crowd, and closes her eyes for a few moments.

I can cast it as soon as I have something to cast it on, she grins at him when she gets back.

Permalink Mark Unread

People in the streets like giving them things; he has a bracelet for her to use.

Permalink Mark Unread

And she casts the spell and hands it back.

Permalink Mark Unread

He bounces excitedly again. Thank you! Thank you! Will it work forever?

Permalink Mark Unread

Mmhmm. Well, unless it gets broken, but metal is usually pretty sturdy.

Permalink Mark Unread

I'll take good care of it. Everyone will want these, can you make that many?

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. I don't know how many you mean, but they don't take long, you saw.

Permalink Mark Unread

You're so amazing.

Permalink Mark Unread

She giggles and hugs him. If I'm going to be making them for everyone, I should probably know more places; what are some good ones?

Permalink Mark Unread

We could roof-hop and I can show you?

Permalink Mark Unread

Sure!

And so they do. The kobold gets noticeably better at making long hops with practice; they probably still won't be able to tour the whole city today, but they can see a nice fraction of it at least.

Permalink Mark Unread

And he can identify spots people might like.

Permalink Mark Unread

Eventually it starts feeling like dinnertime.

Ready to go back?

Permalink Mark Unread

We can get food here if you're hungry. You just walk around and people will give it to you. I don't really want to go back yet. 

Permalink Mark Unread

All right. I'm going to be slowing down some before too long, though - maybe we can find something to sit and watch?

Permalink Mark Unread

Yes! We can watch the Mingling and eat and look out on the city, that'd be nice.

Permalink Mark Unread

Sure, that sounds nice. What's a Mingling?

Permalink Mark Unread

It's when both of the Trees are active at once and the light is all purple and stunning.

Permalink Mark Unread

Your light comes from trees? That's kind of strange. I guess you don't get anything like sunrises or sunsets, then... a sun is this, that's where light comes from in my world, it goes across the sky from one side of the horizon to the other every day and the sky changes color when it's rising or setting, it's different every time and really pretty, but I don't know how much like a Mingling it is.

Permalink Mark Unread

That is pretty. The Mingling's pretty too but - differently, there's no central focus to it, it doesn't have as much - trajectory. And it's much slower, I think.

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. Well, we''ll find out, I guess. Dinner first, though, and she pops them down to street level.

Permalink Mark Unread

And lots of people offer them food and stare at her curiously.

Permalink Mark Unread

She ignores the stares and composes a relatively meat-heavy meal for herself, keeping an eye on Fëanáro while she does so.

Permalink Mark Unread

He tries everything and is very excitable and doesn't seem at all worn out by the day's excursions. But he doesn't run off.

Permalink Mark Unread

Well, yeah, kids that age have a lot of energy. Expecting a single adult to keep up with one all the time is kind of ridiculous. But for a few days, she can manage it pretty well.

Back up to the roof to eat?

Permalink Mark Unread

He wants to sit on the edge of a fountain instead.

Permalink Mark Unread

If he's been paying enough attention to notice how her ears move when she's stressed, he might catch that she's not thrilled about this. But she follows along without complaining.

Permalink Mark Unread

He has noticed the ear movement but has not connected it to stress and there are not too many people now that it's evening and anyway fountains are lovely running water is so pretty! Do kobolds not like it?

Permalink Mark Unread

The fountain is nice! And that has to be magic, doesn't it, maybe she can work out how to make fountains with her magic sometime.

Permalink Mark Unread

He doesn't think it is, actually, but maybe? Lots of things in the city are magic.

Permalink Mark Unread

...Huh. How would you even do that, without magic? Anyway here's how she'd do it with magic...

She closes her eyes for several seconds and then dips a finger in the fountain. Water begins appearing from a spot a few feet up in thin air, and falling immediately back down into the pool.

Permalink Mark Unread

Ooooh!!! Is she teleporting the water! That's brilliant! 

Permalink Mark Unread

She's absolutely teleporting the water! Making it go up like this one does, or in other directions besides 'down', would be tricky but she could probably manage it somehow, and then she could make very elaborate fountains if she wanted to. That might be a fun way to spend an afternoon sometime once she's had more time to think about the best way to go about it, just teleporting water all over the place to play with.

Permalink Mark Unread

He loves this idea and is renewedly sad he can't learn magic.

Permalink Mark Unread

Aww.

Once I've worked out what I need to do to make water go in directions, you can help me design a fountain? Or design your own, if you want, and I'll cast the spells for you? The design is the important part anyway, really.

Permalink Mark Unread

Yeah but I want to be able to do the magic too. When I'm bigger, maybe? 

 

We could have a fountain that danced water all around a room!

Permalink Mark Unread

When you're bigger, and more used to being careful with things, yeah, she grins and hugs him. And we can definitely have a fountain that dances water around a room in the meantime.

Permalink Mark Unread

He enthusiastically starts describing how he'd do one. 

Permalink Mark Unread

And she smiles and listens and points out when he wants something her magic definitely can't do, and occasionally stops him to run bits of fountain water through various teleportation sequences to make sure they're possible, and generally lets the project be his project.

Permalink Mark Unread

And he is so happy! And the fountain is so intricate!! And he doesn't react badly to hearing something won't work, he's generally pretty good at thinking up another way to do it, and the Mingling comes and he practically forgets to look.

Permalink Mark Unread

Gosh that's bright. The kobold squints and shields her eyes.

Permalink Mark Unread

Do you not like it?

Permalink Mark Unread

It's very bright. It's very bright here usually, too, but if it gets much brighter than this I probably shouldn't look at it at all.

Permalink Mark Unread

I think this is about the brightest. Dunno. I don't get to come outside much.

Permalink Mark Unread

Hug.

I'm not in a hurry. I can sit here with my eyes closed and watch it with my magic if nothing else.

Permalink Mark Unread

We should go in anyway, my father might be back and he'll be upset if I'm out.

Permalink Mark Unread

All right, she sends, and pops them back to his room.

Permalink Mark Unread

Where it transpires, a little while later, that the King is back and was upset Fëanáro went out and Fëanáro is summoned to apologize and be hugged.

Permalink Mark Unread

...unless it seems like a very bad idea, or Fëanáro wants her not to, the kobold will tag along.

Permalink Mark Unread

He does not object. He looks sad and blank and empty.

Permalink Mark Unread

She hugs him, and holds his hand the whole way there. Twice, it seems like she's about to osanwë something, but she doesn't.

Permalink Mark Unread

The King was very upset to come back and not find Fëanáro. Fëanáro knows he is not allowed outside the palace yes even if a Maia comes and offers to show him around. Fëanáro stayed out late, too. The King looks exhausted and very sad.

Permalink Mark Unread

The kobold is something approximating content to hang back and observe. That is probably the only thing about this entire exchange she's even an approximation of content about.

Permalink Mark Unread

Fëanáro says, mechanically, that he is very sorry. The King asks if he'll do it again. Fëanáro says yes probably it was fun. The King gets angry.

Permalink Mark Unread

...yeah, that's the end of her being even approximately content. She takes two steps towards Fëanáro and then teleports the rest of the way, places herself neatly beside him and takes his hand, her gaze fixed on Finwë, her posture alert and defensive.

Permalink Mark Unread

I am sorry, says the King, who are you?

Permalink Mark Unread

I am myself, she sends wordlessly. I saw to it that Fëanáro wasn't harmed during our outing today, and I won't see them come to harm because of it, either.

Permalink Mark Unread

I am not going to harm my son, he says, very angrily.

Permalink Mark Unread

She bristles. She adjusts her hand in Fëanáro's so it won't be painful if she squeezes. You already have.

Permalink Mark Unread

And what qualifies you to say?

Permalink Mark Unread

I am a kobold - she's still not bothering with words; the impression is that of a people who survive on the strength of their relationships with each other, and therefore learn to pay attention to each others' wellbeing the same way they might pay attention to the time of day or the changing of the seasons - and a Speaker. And it's exceptionally obvious. If he was walking around with an open wound it'd be easier to ignore.

Permalink Mark Unread

I have no idea what a kobold is or what you are talking about.

Permalink Mark Unread

She stands down, just a hair, and her face softens a bit.

Would you expect someone to apologize for eating when hungry? Or demand that they promise not to eat at all? What I've seen you do today isn't so different from that.

Permalink Mark Unread

He does not need the run of the city without permission.

Permalink Mark Unread

They need more freedom and agency than they've been allowed. There's an undercurrent of disgust at the idea that this is something to be allowed rather than considered a basic right. Perhaps there's a better way to accomplish that than having run of the city, but if so it's not obvious.

She squeezes Fëanáro's hand and glances over to check how he's handling this.

Permalink Mark Unread

He is a bit overwhelmed but squeezes her hand back immediately. 

 

I would like you to tell me when you're taking my son out, Finwe says.

Permalink Mark Unread

She relaxes somewhat and nods. I can do that.

Permalink Mark Unread

And where you're going, ideally, and don't do anything dangerous with him.

Permalink Mark Unread

I won't always know where we're going, but I can come back and tell you if we're going to leave the city. And I'll certainly keep them safe; my home is quite a bit more dangerous than Valinor and I'm not in the habit of taking unnecessary risks.

Permalink Mark Unread

You may not leave the city. 

Permalink Mark Unread

She bristles again, just slightly, but gives Fëanáro a questioning look rather than answer directly. Can you live with that?

Permalink Mark Unread

He's watching uncertainly. I usually can't even leave the palace.

Permalink Mark Unread

She squeezes his hand again. Well, if it turns out to be something you need, we can do something about it then.

She returns her attention to Finwë. We can live with that.

Permalink Mark Unread

You do not get to decide how my son is raised. The Valar don't get any voice in that.

Permalink Mark Unread

 

 

I Speak for Fëanáro, not for myself.

Permalink Mark Unread

His brow wrinkles with confusion. You are very presumptuous.

Permalink Mark Unread

She softens again. When need be, yes.

I suspect neither of us is in the best state to be having this conversation. Perhaps we should continue it tomorrow.

Permalink Mark Unread

Yes. My son is safe. Please - just let him get some sleep, don't take him away again.

Permalink Mark Unread

...aww.

Of course, and she bows.

Permalink Mark Unread

And he stands there looking utterly confounded and Fëanáro goes to bed.

Permalink Mark Unread

And the kobold follows Fëanáro. When the doors to the throne room have closed behind them, she wraps him in a hug. You okay?

Permalink Mark Unread

Yeah. Don't make my father mad he'll tell you to go live with a different tribe.

Permalink Mark Unread

I don't think they realize they could do that, hug, and I'm not planning on telling them while we're still working on this. Anway, c'mon, we should get to bed. She offers him her hand.

Permalink Mark Unread

They can't. Even if they tell you that you don't have to leave.

Permalink Mark Unread

They can't force me to. But it might do more harm than good for me to stay if I'm not welcome - it would probably look like a threat, and most people don't react well when they're threatened. I don't want to make things worse for you.

Permalink Mark Unread

You took me outside. And I don't think he's - threatened, just insulted and sad.

Permalink Mark Unread

Well, we'll see. I'm going to apologize and try to start over tomorrow, that should help. She hugs him. I really do need to sleep first, though, even if you don't want to.

Permalink Mark Unread

Will you stay with me and sleep?

Permalink Mark Unread

Yeah. She hugs him and offers her hand again.

Permalink Mark Unread

He takes it and squeezes it.

Permalink Mark Unread

And then they're back in his room. She burrows under the blankets and waits for Fëanáro to make himself comfortable and cuddles with him for a little while and falls asleep.

Permalink Mark Unread

He falls asleep too, though it takes a little longer. He hugs her a lot.

Permalink Mark Unread

She's pretty hugable, and being hugged while she's asleep doesn't bother her at all.

In the morning, she spends a while thinking about the events of the previous evening, and then tries to disentangle herself without waking Fëanáro.

Permalink Mark Unread

He wakes, but doesn't seem annoyed by it; instead he bounds out of bed.  We should do the fountain!

Permalink Mark Unread

She giggles.

We should get breakfast, and then I need to go talk to your parent. And then we should do the fountain.

Permalink Mark Unread

But the fountain's more fun and what if he tells you to go away.

Permalink Mark Unread

I think they're more likely to tell me to go away if I wait, that's why I need to do it first. Hug. One of the most basic things in Speaking is that we try to find a way to make everybody happy; I don't just need to worry about you getting what you need, I also need to worry about them getting what they need, and what they seem to need is to know what's going on and have some control over it. And one way I can show them that I understand that they need that and that I want them to have it is by making it a priority that they get it, which means talking to them first thing, and apologizing, and being very patient while I explain things to them, and finding ways to let them be in control that don't hurt you - like staying in the city even though it's safe to leave. Hug, again. Does that make sense?

Permalink Mark Unread

Yeah. He's - not usually mean. Just to me, and just when he's scared. Please don't be mean to him.

Permalink Mark Unread

Sigh, hug. Yeah, that's what I'm going to apologize for.

Permalink Mark Unread

Come back soon.

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. Yeah, I will.

One more hug, and then she pops out to the square to collect a quick meal and then back in to find Finwë.

Permalink Mark Unread

He is in the throne room, and he looks vaguely distressed and exhausted at the sight of her, but then forces a smile. Hello.

Permalink Mark Unread

She bows deeply. Hello.

I owe you an apology; I did mean what I said last night but I'd been planning to be much more gentle about it.

Permalink Mark Unread

I am very confused about what you are and the conclusions you've drawn but - is Fëanáro safe? Is he in his room?

Permalink Mark Unread

Last time I saw them, yes. They may've gone to get breakfast, I didn't invite them along when I went to get mine.

Permalink Mark Unread

Last time you saw who?

Permalink Mark Unread

Fëanáro. It's... rude... to specify what type of person someone is, in the language I'm used to.

Permalink Mark Unread

In out language it is not and so yours comes through as - lack of clarity about the subject. Where are you from? What language are you used to?

Permalink Mark Unread

She grins, just slightly. I'm from a different world; as far as I know it doesn't have a name, though it might be that it does and I just don't know it. I have teleportation magic, which is how I came to be here; I wasn't aiming for anyplace in particular, though.

Permalink Mark Unread

Ah. 

 

Are there lots of people with teleportation magic in your world? Could any of them appear here?

Permalink Mark Unread

I'm reasonably sure I'm the only one - it is teachable, but I learned in an unusual way (her ears go back just a bit for a moment) and haven't taught anyone. And I don't intend to, it'd be dangerous to learn in the usual way.

Permalink Mark Unread

Okay.  

 

Why are you escorting my son around?

Permalink Mark Unread

From my perspective it's something that very obviously needs doing. I'm not sure why it's not, from yours, but I have only been here for two days, I might be able to figure it out once I know more.

Permalink Mark Unread

It could be good for him but I don't understand why you're the one doing it. Or how you even met him.

Permalink Mark Unread

Her grin is back, albeit with a note of sadness. When I first arrived it happened to be in the room Fëanáro was in at the time. And they're very cute, when they're happy, and I don't have any other demands on my time right now. She shrugs. My personal situation is a little more complicated than that, but there's nothing stopping me from staying indefinitely, so long as I can get used to how things are done here.

Permalink Mark Unread

If he gets attached to you are you then likely to decide to hop on somewhere else?

Permalink Mark Unread

Not at all; I know how harmful that would be. Even if I can't stay for some reason - and it'd have to be a very good reason - I'll at least still visit regularly.

 

...I should probably ask how Quendi age, that might be important.

Permalink Mark Unread

We take fifty Years to reach young adulthood. Fëanáro is a very young child. Why is that relevant?

Permalink Mark Unread

Kobolds take about a quarter of that. And - there's another factor that's not urgent and might be upsetting; would you rather I tell you now, or wait?

Permalink Mark Unread

I'd rather have more information about anyone who is attempting to take on a role in my son's life.

Permalink Mark Unread

She nods, and pauses for a moment before continuing.

Kobolds don't live forever; if living in Valinor guarantees that I won't die of anything but old age, I'd expect to live about another hundred years here.

Permalink Mark Unread

Oh dear. We can petition the Valar to change that; you shouldn't die.

Permalink Mark Unread

She goes very, very still, for just a moment.

How would that work?

Permalink Mark Unread

Well, you would go talk with them and explain that you are going to die and they would figure out why that happens and heal you.

Permalink Mark Unread

I think I'll need to know more about the Valar before I decide whether to do that.

Scared? Scared.

Permalink Mark Unread

Of course! Would you like me to tell you about them now? 

 

My wife wanted to die. They let her; they have no right to stop us if we choose to die, and don't claim to. Though if you want to wither away and die I am going to ask you not to spend time around my son; he's had enough of that from people who claim to care for him.

Permalink Mark Unread

That does help to know, yes. I don't... think, I'll be doing that any time soon, but there are situations where I'd want to. If I stay I certainly won't, though, most of what I'm worried about there is that kobolds - I - do very poorly living alone, and that's obviously not a problem I'd have here.

Permalink Mark Unread

The Valar could probably make you not wear out and die in Valinor, but be normal elsewhere. They are the creators of this world and they are very powerful.

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. It sounds like we'll probably be able to figure out something agreeable.

She still doesn't seem completely comfortable with the idea, but it's more 'thoughtful consideration' than 'fear'.

 

Is there anything else you'd like to know about me?

Permalink Mark Unread

What do kobolds need? To be happy, to feel safe?

Permalink Mark Unread

She pauses before answering. One could easily assume it's just for thought.

Company, mostly. My world is dangerous, and kobolds' way of staying safe is to keep to ourselves and look after each other. I've always been adventurous and don't mind being around strangers, but I do need a tribe or something like one. Useful work - I suspect Fëanáro is going to fulfill that nicely, but when I said that what most got my attention there was that it needs to be done, I meant that. But other people might find my skills as a Speaker or my magic useful, too, and I do find it fulfilling to do boring or repetitive things if they genuinely need doing. In the shorter term - your culture is confusing to me and I'm going to have a hard time really being comfortable until I have more of it figured out, but I expect that's mostly a matter of having time to observe it, and I've already been working on that.

Permalink Mark Unread

Can you explain your magic? That might help us suggest useful work so you can see if it's the kind you find fulfilling.

Permalink Mark Unread

She nods. I don't know all of what it can do; it's relatively new and I've been busy with other things since I got it. But the easiest thing to do with it is enspell an object to teleport itself to a specific location, and enspelling something to teleport a person or object touching it rather than teleporting itself is also very easy - Fëanáro suggested that I make jewelry to let people teleport around the city, which I can certainly do. It's a little more difficult but still not actually hard to make a spell need extra conditions in order to trigger - in the case of the jewelry it wouldn't just be touch, since it'd be very easy for someone to accidentally teleport themselves that way; I'll probably make them with charms that have to be squeezed to activate. For those kinds of spells I have to have been to the place the spell will aim for; I can also cast in a way that doesn't require that, but I'm not really sure how to aim with a spell like that; I've only ever cast one, which is how I landed here. And it seems like I can cast spells that open portals rather than directly teleporting people or things, but I haven't experimented with that at all yet.

I can also cast spells on people, with basically the same range of effects as casting on objects, but there's some extra details involved with that and I'm not really inclined to cast on anyone but myself - if you find a situation where a spell on a piece of jewelry won't work, let me know, but I don't expect to see any.

Permalink Mark Unread

I see. Yes, ways of quickly travelling would be convenient for many people. I assume one can't accidentally land on or in someone else, or in the trajectory of a moving cart...

Permalink Mark Unread

Two of the things I specify when I'm casting spells are how close to the target the actual destination has to be and how close to things someone can land - if there's no clear space big enough, the spell just won't trigger. I also have to cast the spell specially if I want it to put someone in midair or surrounded by something other than air, and I'm pretty sure I can't teleport someone directly into a solid at all. Air to water or vice versa works, though.

Permalink Mark Unread

All right. Then if we are sufficiently careful about design, those could be useful without risking anyone's wellbeing. And children could have ones they could squeeze to return home if they wandered and got lost...

Permalink Mark Unread

She grins and nods. Certainly.

Permalink Mark Unread

Welcome to Tirion.

Permalink Mark Unread

She smiles and bows again. Thank you for having me.

Permalink Mark Unread

Please don't get close to my son if you're going to leave him.

Permalink Mark Unread

They've already made it pretty clear that that'd be traumatic, yeah, she sighs. Would it help to know that it wasn't my choice to leave my old tribe? I was never even tempted, and as a Speaker I could almost have had my pick of tribes.

Permalink Mark Unread

i am not asking for your loyalty, child. I am asking for you to avoid forming attachments with someone who'd grieve them while you try to decide what you need.

Permalink Mark Unread

 

We might be past the point where I can back off on it without hurting them, unfortunately. I'm not actually sure we didn't pass that point in the first hour, before they knew I had osanwë or magic or anything - they told me they didn't like to be touched, and I went home to get a heavy blanket - it's sort of the next best thing to a hug, being under one of those - and when I got back they were upset that I'd gone. She gives a wry shrug. It's a good sign, I think; I'd be worried if they were withdrawn. But risky, yeah, I know.

Permalink Mark Unread

Okay.

 

We are glad to have you here.

Permalink Mark Unread

She grins a grin that doesn't quite reach her eyes or ears. Thank you.

I should go, Fëanáro is waiting for me. We're planning on playing around with teleporting water to make a fountain; is there someplace in the palace we can do that?

Permalink Mark Unread

Will water get everywhere?

Permalink Mark Unread

That gets a genuine grin. Yes.

Permalink Mark Unread

Maybe better to do it outside where you can't ruin any furniture, then.

Permalink Mark Unread

She nods. We can go find a nice park or something.

Permalink Mark Unread

Or a spot in the gardens. Thank you.

Permalink Mark Unread

And she grins and bows again and goes, teleporting back to Fëanáro's room as soon as she's out of the throne room.

Permalink Mark Unread

Well? he says.

Permalink Mark Unread

They're nervous that I'm going to leave, she grins. I think we'll do okay. And there are some errands I should run tomorrow, or this afternoon if we get tired of working on the fountain.

Permalink Mark Unread

My father's a good king. What errands?

Permalink Mark Unread

The most urgent one is that I need to go find where your meat comes from - Quendi don't eat bones, but kobolds do, and I'll get sick if I go too long without doing that. I won't get sick soon, but if I need to ask someone to save some for me or something it might take a little while to find someone who will or for them to start doing that, so it's important to start now.

The other thing is - I mentioned that kobolds die of old age, and they suggested asking the Valar to fix that, and I want to know more about the Valar before I ask - I'm not sure who I should talk to about that but it seems like there should be someone.

And I'd also like to see if I can find something to help with how bright it is here all the time, and maybe some drawing supplies, but that's not very important.

Permalink Mark Unread

Okay. 

 

I don't like the Valar but I guess they try to be nice.

 

 

Permalink Mark Unread

She nods and hugs him. I haven't heard anything bad, but they seem to be kind of... very big? And do very big things, and it's easy for things like that to do things you weren't expecting and don't want. So I'm going to be careful.

Permalink Mark Unread

They are very powerful. They can do anything. Except save my mom.

Permalink Mark Unread

Sigh, hug, think.

Do you want me to ask them about that? When I go?

Permalink Mark Unread

No. I know what they say. They say she can come back if she wants to and doesn't have to but I want her to.

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. Do you think the Valar might know why they don't want to?

Permalink Mark Unread

They don't want to because she doesn't want to.

Permalink Mark Unread

...that's what I meant. She glowers just a bit. This language difference is starting to be a problem - in mine, it's rude to mention whether someone is male or female, so I don't want to do that, but the word we use instead seems to translate confusingly.

Permalink Mark Unread

Oh. You should petition the linguistics guild to invent a new word. They're good at that.

Permalink Mark Unread

Okay. Maybe we'll have time to do that tomorrow, too.

Do you want me to ask the Valar, though?

Permalink Mark Unread

Yeah. Maybe you can help.

Permalink Mark Unread

Squeeze, I hope so.

Permalink Mark Unread

Fountain? He cheers at the thought.

Permalink Mark Unread

Yup! We'll need some bowls at least, and anything else you think might be interesting to work with - nothing that might be damaged if it gets wet - and we can work on it in the gardens. She gives him one last squeeze and lets him lead the way.

Permalink Mark Unread

He has them brought a lot of porcelain.

Permalink Mark Unread

And they go to the gardens and she gets to work on figuring out how to make water dance.

It turns out that she can't add speed to it when it teleports, but she can preserve its existing speed and change the direction it's going in to make it shoot into the air or squirt sideways before falling. Teleporting a significant amount of water at once turns out to be messy, but if she sticks to little bits of water in quick sequence she can get some very nice, precise streams going from one bowl to another.

Permalink Mark Unread

And they can add speed by having it fall a long distance between a few teleports, right? He's having a delightful time moving bowls all around for various effects.

Permalink Mark Unread

Letting the water fall for speed works, yup.

The spots the water teleports to are fixed in space rather than moving with the enspelled bowls, so there's only so much that can be done just with moving them around, but putting them together in different orders to build up different amounts of speed is still pretty cool, and she'll change the spells on the bowls whenever he asks.

 

Come lunchtime, she asks if Fëanáro would like to go out to the square with her to get something to eat.

Permalink Mark Unread

He is hard to tear away from a project once he's in the middle of it, but he reluctantly agrees. You know, we can tell them to bring us food, too.

Permalink Mark Unread

Or I could go get it myself, she nods. What would we be interrupting them from if we asked them to bring us food, do you know?

Permalink Mark Unread

 

 

No. I don't think most people are too busy though.

Permalink Mark Unread

Maybe not. It's not the kind of mistake I'd want to make, though. And I have been wondering how you get food without leaving the palace, anyway - show me?

Permalink Mark Unread

So he tows her towards the kitchens. Where they are delighted to see them both and offer them foods.

Permalink Mark Unread

And she thanks them and looks around a bit.

Among kobolds, the person in charge of the cooking is about the fourth or fifth most important person in the tribe, you know. And everybody makes a point of staying on their good side.

Permalink Mark Unread

Lots of people like cooking, he says, and you can eat even if no one cooks, from the trees in the gardens.

Permalink Mark Unread

Yeah, back home nobody would starve just for upsetting the head cook, either - if that could happen it'd be a job more like being a Speaker, where if you start being mean to people with it you get in big trouble, fast. But they still get to pick what gets made, so if they like you they'll make things you like more often and if they don't, they won't. They can actually be really important for morale - a lot of the time they don't just go by their own opinions of people, but they pay attention to how the whole tribe feels about things and what's going on, so their choices wind up being sort of a softer way of warning people who're being antisocial before they upset the tribe badly enough to have people start doing things to try to make them stop, or of rewarding people who've accomplished things that maybe don't need a whole big deal made of them but are still good enough to get a little recognition.

(It has not escaped the kobold that they're still in the kitchens and the Quendi here can hear her.)

Being able to get just about whatever you want whenever you want it, like we can do in the city, is pretty cool too, but that's how it works at home, and I kind of like it that way.

Permalink Mark Unread

That seems mean. If someone does something wrong and you're mad, you should tell them. What if they don't notice that the food isn't food they like? What if they think it's a punishment for not deserving to exist instead of a punishment for a thing they did? What if they had a reason? What if being sad makes them do the thing that made everyone be mean to them even more?

Permalink Mark Unread

Well, most kobolds don't talk, remember, so most of the time they can't tell them that way, and this is a way of telling them without words. If they do it right, it's usually pretty obvious why they're doing it, and it's only for small things - if someone's done something bad enough that people want them to leave, them getting bad food might happen, but it wouldn't be the only thing that happened. If they had a reason, that might matter or it might not - different tribes do things different ways - but in mine it wouldn't; our head cook thought that if someone's reason wasn't good enough for them to put up with people acting upset at them, it wasn't good enough to do the thing that upset people in the first place. She grins nostalgically. And I can't really argue with that, it helped keep me from taking foolish risks, it's probably part of why I'm still alive.

Permalink Mark Unread

If I couldn't talk I'd die. People not talking is the worst thing for me.

Permalink Mark Unread

She scoots herself and her lunch a little closer to him and gives him a hug.

It's not so bad for me, but maybe that's just because I'm used to it. What makes it so bad for you?

Permalink Mark Unread

I don't understand things any other way. So then they all hate me and there's no way at all to understand how or why or what I did wrong. At least with words I have a chance.

Permalink Mark Unread

Huh.

Well, you understand that I care a lot about you, right? And I haven't said that in words yet. Hug.

Permalink Mark Unread

I didn't think you cared a lot about me. I don't think that even when people say it.

Permalink Mark Unread

Oh. Hug.

Well, if I didn't care a lot about you I wouldn't've been so mad at your parent last night, and I probably wouldn't be thinking about going and talking to the Valar, and there would be fewer hugs. So now you know because I said it and because I've done things to show it. More hug.

One way to tell if someone cares about you is if they do hard or scary things for you, especially if they do them without you asking them to. Another way is if they do things they know you'll like - that's not always the reason for that, but if someone doesn't, well, sometimes it's complicated but most of the time it's pretty safe to assume that they don't care very much.

Permalink Mark Unread

 

That is a little bit useful. Thank you.

Permalink Mark Unread

She grins.

I think your parent is one of those complicated times, too. They are actually doing something hard and scary to them by letting me stay, that was pretty obvious this morning.

Permalink Mark Unread

I know my father cares about me. I just make him sad all the time anyway.

Permalink Mark Unread

I have no idea why, you seem like a pretty normal kid to me. Are you sure it's because of you?

Permalink Mark Unread

Me and my mom dying and I'm not normal I'm way less patient and want to do way more things.

Permalink Mark Unread

Consider, shrug. I guess I don't know enough about Quendi kids to say for sure, but kobold and tigerfolk kids who are the age you look like you are are just the same way.

Permalink Mark Unread

Oh. Huh. I think Quendi kids are better-behaved than me but I don't know many.

Permalink Mark Unread

You might be a more impatient than most Quendi kids because you've been stuck inside so much, too. That's more of a guess, but kobolds often spend the whole winter in caves, with only the hunters and guards going out, and by the time spring comes everybody's ready to get out and run around and see new things.

Permalink Mark Unread

Oh. Maybe. If it'd make me normal I bet my father'd let me go outside all the time.

Permalink Mark Unread

It'll be good for you even if it doesn't make you more patient, hug, which ought to be enough anyway.

Permalink Mark Unread

I do run off a lot.

Permalink Mark Unread

And that's a silly rule, especially here.

Permalink Mark Unread

Yeah.

 

I really hope you're right and I'm normal with practice.

Permalink Mark Unread

Hug.

It's okay if you're not, too, at least as far as I'm concerned. But if you want that, I hope it happens for you.

Permalink Mark Unread

He'd be so happy.

Permalink Mark Unread

I'm more worried about you being happy. Trying to be something you're not can be really awful.

Permalink Mark Unread

Yeah. But disappointing everyone is awful too.

Permalink Mark Unread

She looks really, deeply upset, and takes a minute or so to pull herself back together.

There are some things that really, really aren't worth it, even if people will be disappointed about them. And trying to change what you are is one of those, you can hurt yourself so badly trying to do that. Another few seconds pass while she gets her breathing back under control. Remember when I said there are some things that are worse than death? That is one, at least sometimes.

Permalink Mark Unread

 For you, maybe. I really don't want to die. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Her hands are shaking too badly for her to keep eating.

That doesn't make it less bad.

Permalink Mark Unread

I didn't mean to scare you.

Permalink Mark Unread

There is a hug. It contains non-negligible amounts of clinging.

That's a very, very scary thing. And I hope you never do it, I think it'd hurt me very badly to even know you'd tried.

Permalink Mark Unread

I still don't understand why.

Permalink Mark Unread

She considers, winces, considers some more, shudders, and then explains, trembling.

I did something like that, when I was a little older than you. And it hurt me very, very badly - I almost died - and it took me a very long time and a lot of help to be okay again afterward. Even now I'm not completely okay. And I care about you a lot, and I don't want you to get hurt at all, and if you get hurt that way I might not even be able to help you.

 

It's - she takes so long to continue that it seems like she might not at all. Doing that doesn't work. It can look like it does, it can feel like it does, but it doesn't. You still are what you are, and you still need what you need, you just end up... ignoring that. Not believing it, pretending it isn't true and fighting yourself and anyone who sees that it is. She shudders. So not getting what you need hurts, and fighting hurts worse, and, just... It's not worth it. Not ever.

Permalink Mark Unread

Oh.

 

 

I'm sorry.

Permalink Mark Unread

It's okay. You didn't know, and I'll be all right. It's just really upsetting to think about. It's not your fault.

Permalink Mark Unread

What were you trying to pretend to be?

Permalink Mark Unread

 

 

 

 

Not a person.

Permalink Mark Unread

He hugs her.

Why would anyone want you to not be a person? That's evil.

Permalink Mark Unread

Sigh.

Tigerfolk think kobolds aren't people to start with, because we don't talk. They didn't understand I was a person to be hurt by how they were treating me, they didn't think they were doing anything wrong.

Permalink Mark Unread

And so you decided to try not being a person?

Permalink Mark Unread

I don't think so, not exactly. I don't remember it very well. But trying to be a person when everyone around me thought I shouldn't be and got upset when I was was hard, and hurt, and after a while I just stopped trying.

Permalink Mark Unread

Hugs. Did they ever learn?

Permalink Mark Unread

Headshake, lean. Tigerfolk don't stay in one place very long; they left me behind when they left and I found my way back to my tribe and never saw them again. I did start going to other tigerfolk tribes later, when I was an adult, and showing them that we are people, though.

Permalink Mark Unread

That's good. How?

Permalink Mark Unread

Different ways for different tribes. Doing math, sometimes, or answering questions, or telling stories, or helping them with things. Teaching them things, sometimes - when I managed to find a tribe that was just moving in, telling them where things were in the area was a good one. Basically anything that'd show them that I could think, and that was too complicated to be a trick.

Permalink Mark Unread

You shouldn't have had to do that.

Permalink Mark Unread

I didn't have to - my tribe would have loved it if I'd just stayed home and not kept risking myself like that. But it was important to me that it happen, so I did it.

Permalink Mark Unread

I mean they should already have known that you were a person.

Permalink Mark Unread

Oh. Hug.

That, yeah. I don't really blame them - they mostly didn't know a lot about kobolds, for some of them I was the first one they'd ever seen, and that's because we stay so carefully away from them, but it'd've been nice if they hadn't assumed.

Permalink Mark Unread

And you couldn't just tell them?

Permalink Mark Unread

I tried that, and they thought it was a trick... there's something I'm leaving out, here, 'cause it's really upsetting, but it's a reason they didn't want to believe we were people, because if we were it meant they'd done something horrible. I convinced most of them anyway, but making it easy for them to believe and hard for them to believe that it was a trick was an important part of that. So was being calm and friendly; if I'd gone and just demanded it, or been angry, that wouldn't have worked and would have been very dangerous for me.

Permalink Mark Unread

I would probably have been very angry and demanded it.

Permalink Mark Unread

She grins fondly at him. That almost never works, you know. I mean, maybe here - your customs around Kings and their children are pretty weird compared to what I'm used to, I think is what I'm seeing? - but if you're talking to people who don't care about that, they're not going to do what you say just because you're angry unless they're scared of you, and even then sometimes they won't.

Permalink Mark Unread

It's not that it works it's that it's hard to do anything else.

Permalink Mark Unread

That gets easier as you get older, for most people.

Permalink Mark Unread

I want to be grown up.

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod, hug. Well, maybe I'll eventually be able to talk your parent around to doing things kobold-style. That'll help a lot, if I can, I think; we age faster and we're adults at twelve but we start making most of our own decisions at seven or eight, which I don't think is all that far away for you.

Permalink Mark Unread

I'm twelve.

Permalink Mark Unread

Yeah, but kobolds age faster - it's not just about how much experience you have, things like how easy it is for you to stop and think before doing things or decide not to be angry are important too. If you were a kobold I'd guess you were about five, maybe a really mature four or an impulsive six. Which still means you'd have more choices about your life than you do, but you would have a parent keeping an eye on you to make sure your decisions were good ones for another couple years.

Permalink Mark Unread

I could tolerate it if it were a few more years. But it's forty more of them.

Permalink Mark Unread

Yeah. Hug. Fifty years is a long time. I'm not that old yet.

Permalink Mark Unread

I wish I grew up fast like a kobold and was grown already.

Permalink Mark Unread

I wonder what the Valar would say if I asked about that.

Permalink Mark Unread

I bet they'd say no. They're very stubborn.

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. Your parent probably wouldn't like it, either, but I'm not sure I care very much about that. Do you want me to ask anyway, to see if they're willing?

Permalink Mark Unread

Yes. Very much. But I think they'll say no.

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. Well, we'll see.

Do you want to go work on the fountain some more, or get started on those errands?

Permalink Mark Unread

Fountain!

Permalink Mark Unread

Giggle, all right. And she teleports the dishes to the sink to be cleaned and the two of them back to the garden.

Permalink Mark Unread

Where they can throw themselves once again into fountain design. They attract a fascinated audience.

Permalink Mark Unread

The kobold for the most part ignores the audience, though she doesn't seem to mind their presence and occasionally looks over the group in a friendly-acknowledgement sort of way.

Permalink Mark Unread

Fëanáro ignores them too. This is going to be the prettiest fountain.

Permalink Mark Unread

Yup! (...hmmmmm, how many distinct streams can she get the water to split into while staying close enough together that it looks like it's all coming from the same place....)

Permalink Mark Unread

Fëanáro will not tire of this all day.

Permalink Mark Unread

The kobold does lose a little bit of enthusiasm as the afternoon wears on, but not much.

Eventually, it's dinnertime. I'm getting hungry, should I bring you something from the kitchen?

Permalink Mark Unread

Yeah, he says distractedly.

Permalink Mark Unread

Poof.

 

She returns some minutes later with a plate for herself and a selection of bite-sized things on a skewer for Fëanáro, with a bit of wood serving as a makeshift guard on the pointy end.

Permalink Mark Unread

This is a brilliant idea and he even remembers to thank her, sort of, while grabbing it and returning to work. It will be such a pretty fountain.

Permalink Mark Unread

She chuckles and goes to sit in the shade with her meal.

It really is a very pretty fountain.

When she's done eating she returns her plate to the kitchen and goes back to helping Fëanáro, and after a few more hours she starts yawning.

Permalink Mark Unread

He misses the cue the first few times but notices it eventually.I don't like sleeping

Permalink Mark Unread

I don't have very much choice about it, especially if I want to feel okay tomorrow.

Permalink Mark Unread

I feel more okay when I've done lots of things.

Permalink Mark Unread

Yeah, I can tell.

How often do people usually want you to sleep?

Permalink Mark Unread

Every night. Grownup Quendi don't sleep that often but kids are supposed to.

Permalink Mark Unread

Hmm.

Kobolds sleep every night, but we don't all go to sleep at the same time - mostly kids and elderly people go to sleep first, and older adults go to bed later and young adults stay up very late and sleep through the morning, but that's only mostly, some people like to sleep on different schedules than that. Maybe going to bed at a different time would work better for you?

Permalink Mark Unread

I like to work until I fall asleep, and that's sometimes after a day and a half. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. Well, you don't have to sleep every night just because I do, (yawn) but we should probably find someone who knows more about it and ask them if there's a reason you shouldn't do that first.

Permalink Mark Unread

You can ask, he says indifferently, no one makes me go to bed so I'm not going to.

Permalink Mark Unread

She chuckles. Okay. Do you want me to change any of the spells around before I go?

Permalink Mark Unread

He does in fact have a barrage of last minute requests.

Permalink Mark Unread

She fulfills them, casts a couple spells that they suggest he might end up wanting later, and then gives him a hug and heads to bed.

Permalink Mark Unread

He is too distracted to wish her good night.

Permalink Mark Unread

Somehow, this isn't surprising; she doesn't mind.

Has he gone to bed by the time she wakes up?

Permalink Mark Unread

Nope! He is satisfied with the fountain, though, and is planning another one.

Permalink Mark Unread

It is a really pretty fountain, and she tells him so.

Do you want to come with me to run those errands?

Permalink Mark Unread

No, I'll just work on plans until you get back. I don't like talking to people much and they always want things.

Permalink Mark Unread

All right. Do you want any more spells before I go? Should I try to bring anything back for you?

Permalink Mark Unread

I can't think of anything. He's a bit obsessive when focused on a project, and he is focused now.

Permalink Mark Unread

All right, see you later. (His focus is really cute.)

 

She heads to the throne room next - walking; teleportation is convenient but people getting used to her presence is more important. Is Finwë in?

Permalink Mark Unread

He is. He smiles at the sight of her. 

Permalink Mark Unread

She grins back and bows, not quite so deeply this time.


Fëanáro is in the garden working on a design for a fountain, you might want to go see the one they came up with yesterday if you have time. And I'm going out to take care of a few things; is there anything it might be useful for me to do while I'm out?

Permalink Mark Unread

Out about Tirion, you mean? Things can be brought here if you find the city overwhelming, or I can appoint someone to guide you.

Permalink Mark Unread

It is overwhelming, but we figured out how to work around that the other day, and I won't get used to it if I'm avoiding it. A guide would be useful, though, thank you.

Permalink Mark Unread

He nods to someone nearby. Alamande will accompany you wherever you need him. 

Permalink Mark Unread

She nods and bows, and then and steps off to the side to talk to Alamande. Nice to meet you. Have you heard about my magic?

Permalink Mark Unread

I have. You can teleport and make teleporting thngs and are using it for a beautiful fountain. It is very beautiful. Congratulations.

Permalink Mark Unread

The fountain is mostly Fëanáro's, but yes, thank you, she grins. When I'm teleporting with someone, I prefer to do it by casting the spell on myself and letting them activate it by taking my hand, is that okay with you?

Permalink Mark Unread

Sure. How else can it be done?

Permalink Mark Unread

I could put spells on objects for you, either on something you could carry or on the ground for you to step on or a wall for you to touch or something, and I could but won't cast spells directly on you. Ground or wall spells probably aren't the best idea either; I can make them so they only work once, but the spell will still be there until it's broken and I'm not sure if that'd bother anyone.

Permalink Mark Unread

Do spells look like anything? Do they do anything when inactive?

Permalink Mark Unread

Inactive spells don't do anything. There's a way to see them with my world's magic, and I don't think it's possible to tell an active spell from an inactive one that way, but I don't know what this world's magic can or can't do.

Permalink Mark Unread

It doesn't seem we can see your magic. Probably the Valar could.

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. I might ask them about that; there's a few things about how my magic works that I'm curious if they can change, so I'll probably be talking to them about it anyway.

Permalink Mark Unread

What would you want to change?

Permalink Mark Unread

It's possible to accidentally share the ability to use my magic - I'd have to be negligent to actually do that, but it's something I'd rather not have to worry about avoiding, is the main thing. And spells cast on people can't be broken, and part of learning how to use my magic is dangerous, but so long as I'm the only one who can use it neither of those are actually problems.

Permalink Mark Unread

I am sure the Valar'd want to help you with any dangerous thing.

Permalink Mark Unread

Grin. That's good. I still want to hear more about them before I go ask, though; finding someone to talk to about them is one of the things I'd like to do today.

Permalink Mark Unread

Certainly. What would you want to hear?

Permalink Mark Unread

I'd like to have a pretty good idea of how they might react to being asked things - how good they are at warning about extra effects of things they do, whether they're likely to do things without asking if their solution is the one I want, that kind of thing. And what kind of behavior they're likely to expect from me, and just generally what they're like and what I should expect. Stories about how they've worked with other people would probably be most useful.

Permalink Mark Unread

Okay. They don't think much like people and might not be good at warning about extra effects of things they do, because they don't know what sort of effects we'd care about, but most things they do don't have extra effects and they are getting better. They will want you to be thinking about the good of Valinor and its people, and if you are concerned for that and are not rude I do not think they'll be annoyed by anything you might say or do that is accidentally disrespectful.

Permalink Mark Unread

She nods, thoughtfully. I'm going to want to move carefully, if they're bad at warning about extra effects. The magic is probably safe to ask about, though, I don't think there's much they could do that would upset me besides taking it away outright, and it sounds like if I just tell them that, and maybe bring a few examples of useful things I've made with it, they won't.

Permalink Mark Unread

I am sure they wouldn't do that, no.

Permalink Mark Unread

Grin. Good. I suppose my next question is how to find them to talk to - I'm not going to do that today, though, I have a few other questions and I'm going to try the magic ones first to see what happens but I want to think about the others before I go anyway, just in case they come up.

Permalink Mark Unread

Aule is the nearest, and he's a short walk from Tirion.

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. It'll probably be a few days before I'm ready to meet them.

Permalink Mark Unread

I understand. They will not consider that a long wait.

Permalink Mark Unread

...um.

...I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that they already know I exist.

Permalink Mark Unread

They know most everything that happens in Valinor, and you've been playing with the crown prince and your appearance was very confusing.

Permalink Mark Unread

Deep breath. Intentionally relaxing back to a conversational posture, albeit a somewhat more alert one.

All right. I'll keep that in mind, thank you.

Permalink Mark Unread

Does that bother you?

Permalink Mark Unread

It's not something that could happen, in my world, and kobolds rely on privacy to keep ourselves safe.

Permalink Mark Unread

You're safe here in Valinor.

Permalink Mark Unread

That appears to have been a wrong answer.

It's still alarming to have a stranger know things about me that I haven't chosen to let them see - it would be dangerous, very much so, back home, and it still feels like it is.

I - what can they see? There's an edge of panic to her tone.

Permalink Mark Unread

I have no idea. They don't watch us all the time, but they can if they want to, I think. I'm sorry. I understand why it'd feel dangerous. The King struggles with that- so many things feel dangerous to him, like leaving his son alone...

Permalink Mark Unread

She nods, shakily.

...if they can read my mind... if they learn how to go to my world... if they say 'we met a kobold with teleportation magic' to the wrong person, that'd be it for every kobold I've ever met. And I have no way of knowing if they'd do that.

Permalink Mark Unread

They wouldn't do that. They definitely wouldn't do that. And if somehow it was done they'd bring you all to Valinor to protect. Why - there are people who'd kill your people over the fact you exist?

Permalink Mark Unread

They'd think other kobolds had the same magic, and yes, they'd kill them over it. My world is not safe.

Bringing kobolds to Valinor... might work, in the worst case. But it would be very difficult for everyone involved. Most kobolds don't tolerate change like that very well, and don't tolerate strangers at all - I'm extremely unusual in that regard.

 

I would like to go talk to Aule now. She offers her hand.

Permalink Mark Unread

Okay. He takes her hand. How awful. I'm sorry.

Permalink Mark Unread

She teleports them to the city gates.

At least it's straightforward to fix the problem this time.

Permalink Mark Unread

How so?

Permalink Mark Unread

I can just ask the Valar not to go to my world and tell them why and they won't, unless I'm confused about something? Compared to the last two times there were problems this big - one of them was caused by a famine, we obviously couldn't do anything about that, and the other one we could have avoided if we'd known not to provoke the elves that way, but we didn't, and we still don't know why they took it as a provocation so we're just guessing at how to avoid making them that mad in the future.

Permalink Mark Unread

Yes, the Valar definitely won't go to your world if they might get people hurt by doing so. Those sound scary. Is there anything we can do to help? We can send food...

Permalink Mark Unread

I don't think so. It's been calm recently anyway, it's pretty unusual to have two problems as close together as those were, but I'm not sure how we'd even find out if there was something going on to help with without putting someone at risk.

Permalink Mark Unread

The same situation with the Outer Lands. I'm sorry.

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod.

 

It might actually work okay to invite the tigerfolk to Valinor. I don't know enough about you or them to be sure, but they're better at handling surprises than kobolds and they have a harder time with the elves even when there's nothing specific going on.

Permalink Mark Unread

The Valar also don't generally invite everyone to Valinor, just if they're really suffering and there's no better way. What are the elves?

Permalink Mark Unread

Elves are one of the kinds of people that live near my old home, and they're awful. We stay away from them and that mostly works okay, but about... thirty-five, maybe forty years ago, someone stole something from them and they responded by trying to wipe us out. And they have fire magic, and they were vicious with it, we lost four entire tribes just to that and another two to mundane fighting, more than half our Speakers - it was bad. And then they just stopped, and we have no idea why. They like setting magical traps around the forest, too, and kobolds have magic that defends against that, but tigerfolk don't, and they do keep the tigerfolk they catch; I have no idea what they do with them but as far as I know none of them have ever come back.

Permalink Mark Unread

How evil. 

He's radiating horror.

What monsters.

Permalink Mark Unread

Yeah. We survived, though, and we're recovering mostly okay. We might lose Speaking as a tradition, and that might be a big deal, but I think aside from that we'll be all right.

Permalink Mark Unread

That seems like it would be a terrible loss. What is Speaking?

Permalink Mark Unread

Well, most kobolds don't talk. Most kobolds can't talk, as far as we can tell, and those of us who learn don't end up being good enough at it to teach it, so it's a difficult skill to pick up. And Speaking is all the things that those of us who learn to talk do for our tribes with that - lorekeeping and passing messages between tribes and things, but most of it is translation and diplomacy, two Speakers from different tribes each Speaking for a tribemate and putting what the other Speaker says into body language that they can understand. And since we have to be so good at understanding the people in our tribes, we end up helping out when there's conflict within the tribe, too, and being the chief's primary helper.

Permalink Mark Unread

Ah.

The Quendi - wouldn't be anything if we couldn't talk. I can't even imagine that.

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. Feanaro has said basically the same thing, but I don't know why you feel that way - even Speakers spend most of the year without anyone to talk to, now that there's so few of us, and it's never bothered me; it's not like there aren't people around just because they don't do that one thing.

Permalink Mark Unread

It's - are there some things, that if no one around did them you would feel desperately alone? Maybe it's touch, maybe it's facial expressions, maybe it's emoting - for us it's speech and song. A life without those would be not worth living.

Permalink Mark Unread

Ahhh.

Yeah, it's touch, for us. And singing, but to a much lesser degree. That makes sense, thank you.

Permalink Mark Unread

I suppose it makes sense it'd be different things for different kinds of people.

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. For kobolds, it's - we live or die by the strength of our tribes and our bonds with them. If you get hurt, or sick, or anything, it's your tribe that looks after you; it's your tribe that keeps you safe and fed and warm. And touch is a very viscerial reminder of that presence, and so is singing together.

Permalink Mark Unread

For us - it's our voices that kept us together in the dark, in the danger of Cuivienen. We are a people who named things, gave them words, made them known when they'd been strange to us.

Permalink Mark Unread

That gets a fond grin, and a little chuckle.

Well.

Last time I let someone name me, it didn't go very well for me. But it sounds like it would be different, here; perhaps I'll allow it.

Permalink Mark Unread

I bet he'd be honored.

Permalink Mark Unread

Permalink Mark Unread

And they are approaching Aule's.

Permalink Mark Unread

Huh. What a fancy cave.

She stops for a moment to get her current location and cast a spell to let herself teleport to it, and then she goes to have a closer look at the entrance.

Permalink Mark Unread

It's beautiful. The air pressure seems to get more intense as she enters.

Permalink Mark Unread

The air pressure thing is weird; she pauses for a few seconds to see if it gets worse, and then continues.

"Yark?" Hello?

Permalink Mark Unread

Hello.

 

He looks humanoid except bigger. Bearded, smiling.

Permalink Mark Unread

Don't panic, do bow.

Hello, she grins as she straightens back up.

Permalink Mark Unread

Welcome to Valinor, child.

Permalink Mark Unread

She will work out whether she wants to be upset that people keep calling her 'child' later. She keeps smiling.

Thank you; it's good to be here - I'm still figuring it out but so far it seems very nice.

Permalink Mark Unread

Faint humor. We are trying.

Permalink Mark Unread

Grin. I can tell.

Anyway, - serious - I came today because I found out you can observe us at a distance, and I wasn't sure exactly what you can learn that way, and I wanted to ask you not to go to my world, if what you can see is enough to figure out how to do that; the situation between the different kinds of people in the area I'm from is fragile, and it'd be easy to accidentally get a lot of people hurt if you did. And if you do decide to go to my world anyway, please at least talk to me about it and preferably bring me with you as a guide.

Permalink Mark Unread

We will not go to your world, or interfere at all there. It is not our mandate.

Permalink Mark Unread

Visible relief. Thank you, bow.

Permalink Mark Unread

Of course. Do you desire to remain here?

Permalink Mark Unread

It's easily the best of the options I'm aware of.

Permalink Mark Unread

In that case how can we do more to make Valinor a paradise for you?

Permalink Mark Unread

That, she freezes at. I wouldn't want to change anything without knowing why things are the way they are now and how Quendi work, she answers almost immediately.

Permalink Mark Unread

 

All right.

Permalink Mark Unread

...I'm sorry, it's... she pauses to think. Kobolds generally do very badly with change; I'm better than most but it's still very hard. Most of how I'm handling it is by reminding myself that there mostly isn't one; Valinor was already here, and I'm the change. And it's important to me to be a good one.

 

Which does remind me, I wanted to ask if you'd be able to change a few things about how my magic works...

Permalink Mark Unread

We can certainly do that. What changes do you desire?

Permalink Mark Unread

Right now, it's possible for me to accidentally share the ability to use it - it's not very hard to avoid, but I have to take steps to do it, and I'd rather not need to worry about that. Also, spells cast on people can't be broken, which is potentially dangerous - I think ideally I shouldn't be able to cast on people without their permission at all, if that's possible. And the process of learning how to use my magic is dangerous, but that's the excuse I've been using not to teach Fëanáro and it would cause problems if I had to say that their parent forbid me to, so that should actually stay for now, I think - I don't expect to be sharing it with anyone anytime soon anyway - but I'd like to know if it can be fixed.

Permalink Mark Unread

You are very wise. We can fix all of those things. I do not want the teaching of magic to be dangerous; can it be prohibited in my name, if you hesitate to forbid it in yours?

Permalink Mark Unread

She considers. With it being dangerous, me refusing to teach it is upsetting but not very much so; they can see that it's reasonable. Without that, their relationship with whoever forbids it will be damaged, and theirs with me as well if I take that person's side, which could be very bad. You could remove my ability to share it entirely, and that would fix the problem of me taking someone else's side, but they'd still be upset at you about it and I'm not sure how important that might be.

On the other hand if it's made safe it might actually be okay for them to learn it - would it be possible to make it so that they can only teleport to places within Valinor, even if they somehow manage to get out and learn a location elsewhere, until they're older? - but their parent would be very upset and I don't see a way to fix that.

Permalink Mark Unread

We can certainly ensure that it is not possible to teleport out of Valinor and into danger. I can counsel the King if you think he'd fear needlessly.

Permalink Mark Unread

Convincing them to relax about it would be ideal, even without the magic to think about, but I'm not sure it's possible. When we first met, they mistook me for a Maia, and they were fairly adamant that you didn't have any say in how Fëanáro is raised. She sighs. I wish I knew more about the culture here; that sounded reasonable at the time, sort of, but if it's not generally considered to be, that changes things. She seems very tired all of a sudden.

Permalink Mark Unread

I have no authority; advice I can give, and it might be heeded out of respect for me or for the general quality of my judgment.

Permalink Mark Unread

She perks up a bit and grins. That sounds worth trying, then, thank you. It might work best to give them another few days to get used to me, but if you wanted to do it today I don't think it'd be a disaster.

For leaving Valinor... sorry, I was going to think this through properly before I came but that other thing seemed potentially urgent, I can come back some other time if you're busy... but I'm hesitant to agree to a complete block, especially if it'd stop me from going back to my own world if I need to, is that what you meant?

Permalink Mark Unread

I think we could build a block with that exception, so you can return home, if you are not likely to invite danger back with you.

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. I can teleport only myself even if someone is holding me, yes, and I have no intention to bring anyone else here and will check with you first if I find myself wanting to.

I do also need to keep the ability to go to other worlds, at least until I'm very sure I'll be able to stay in this one, but I can do that from my original one if you'd rather not allow it here - I'm assuming these changes won't change how magic works for other people on my original world?

Permalink Mark Unread

That is beyond our power, yes.

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. Okay. Blocking it entirely isn't very... aesthetic, I suppose - my culture considers freedom to go where one pleases very important - but I assume you have good reasons for it, and it's not like anyone is losing an ability except me. She shrugs.

 

Permalink Mark Unread

And if it means it can be taught to them at all, rather than withholding it out of fear of misuse, then they have more freedom. Keeping Valinor safe is very important to us, and we don't want to let people out but not back, that would create much grief.

Permalink Mark Unread

Why would someone not be able to come back?

Permalink Mark Unread

If someone left and consorted with the evils of the Outer Lands, we would be concerned with how to reintegrate them here.

Permalink Mark Unread

Ah. She considers this for a few moments. That sounds like the kind of problem I might be unusually good at helping solve, compared to other people here, but it definitely also sounds like one that should be avoided in the first place, if I understand correctly. Okay.

Permalink Mark Unread

Should it arise I will keep in mind that we can rely on you, he says gravely.

Permalink Mark Unread

She grins, slightly, wryly, and bows again. Happy to be of service.

Would it be useful for me to show you anything about my magic as it is now?

Permalink Mark Unread

if you would like to demonstrate the capacity  by which you fear it could be transmitted, I can fix that right now.

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. There's two components, the sense - which replaces my usual ones - and then the spell form; if I'm trancing, that activates the sense automatically and allows me to use the form if I want to. If someone touches me, or I touch them, while I'm doing either of those, they get the same ability - a lesser version but I don't have control over what part if I'm not expecting it, in the case of the spell form.

And then she drops into a casting trance, not doing any casting in particular yet, with the sense extending around her a few inches like a bubble.

Permalink Mark Unread

Hmmm, he says in surprise after a moment. I seem to have acquired the ability to do that myself. Is that what you mean about accidental transmission?

Permalink Mark Unread

She drops the trance.

...apparently. My world doesn't have anything like osanwë, that might do it.

Permalink Mark Unread

Okay. Let me see if I can make that stop happening.

Permalink Mark Unread

Thank you.

Permalink Mark Unread

And after a minute, can you try a contagious piece of magic again?

Permalink Mark Unread

She nods and drops back into the trance again. This time, she starts the process of casting a spell that would allow an object to teleport itself, with no passengers, to a specified location; she's very careful not to activate any other parts of the spell form.

Permalink Mark Unread

I did not automatically acquire that, he says, pleased. I think we succeeded and your magic is not contagious.

Permalink Mark Unread

She drops the trance again, much less abruptly this time. Thank you.

Do you have an idea of how long the rest of the changes might take?

Permalink Mark Unread

Possibly quite some time, since it requires consulting with others.

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. All right. Fëanáro is apparently impatient for a Quendi, even a young one, but I should be able to handle it, little kobolds are the same way.

Permalink Mark Unread

I am glad to hear it. He has extraordinary talent and will be a gift to his people.

Permalink Mark Unread

I hope so. I ...am not sure I should be talking about that with anyone, nevermind. But it seems likely, yes, she ends with a grin.

Permalink Mark Unread

There is a little bit of confused silence.

I am glad that you came to me, Aule says. May Valinor be a place of joy for you.

Permalink Mark Unread

She's confused at the confusion, but grins and bows again, thank you; I appreciate the help.

And then she heads back out of the cave.

Permalink Mark Unread

And the air returns to normal and her guide waves at her. All cleared up?

Permalink Mark Unread

Yup! I like them, she grins.

Back to the city?

Permalink Mark Unread

Yes. Aule's wonderful, very creative and curious and suited to the Noldor.

Permalink Mark Unread

And she takes his hand and they're back inside the city gates. Good listener, too.

Okay, let me see... I need to find a butchery, I need a slightly different diet than Quendi do and they'll have the missing parts; I don't need to find someone to ask about talking to Valar, I want to save the Linguistics Guild trip for sometime when Fëanáro is around but it wouldn't be a bad idea to already know where it is, and I'd like to get some drawing materials and see if anyone's come up with something to help with how bright it is here. Do you have any preference for what we do first?

Permalink Mark Unread

None at all. We don't have butchers, though, I don't think, not as an occupation... It wouldn't be very much fun or talent...

Permalink Mark Unread

...huh. I know I've seen meat, where does that come from?

Permalink Mark Unread

People go out hunting for it, or Orome and his riders bring it. What is it you need?

Permalink Mark Unread

Bones. Not many or often, one every few days is fine, but they need to be the right size and from mammals.

Permalink Mark Unread

Huh, okay. I'll tell people who hunt to bring bones to the palace. What size?

Permalink Mark Unread

She gestures descriptively. Longer ones are fine, I just probably won't eat the whole thing in that case, but they shouldn't be too thick.

Permalink Mark Unread

Okay, I'll let people know. It's a good thing you didn't land with the Teleri, they don't hunt.

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. I can hunt well enough for that if I have to, but yeah, definitely.

Permalink Mark Unread

I'm also not sure there is much to hunt around Alqualonde. I suppose you could always import it from us; do they have to be fresh?

Permalink Mark Unread

There's ways to preserve them, but I don't know any that would work while they were being moved. One animal is enough for a long time, though, if it's big enough. She shrugs, then grins. Doesn't matter, I landed here and I'm glad I did.

Permalink Mark Unread

We are also glad you did. Everyone should have bliss and peace.

Permalink Mark Unread

She grins.

So, drawing supplies next, I think. Where would we go for that?

Permalink Mark Unread

Tirion has shops! More than the ones she frequented with Feanaro, even. Paper and ink can be acquired; would she want anything else?

Permalink Mark Unread

A few brushes in varying degrees of fineness, or she can figure something else out if they only have pens or something.

She lets Alamande handle most of the interaction, but watches carefully and thanks the shopkeeper when they're done.

And then she teleports her new acquisitions back to the palace.

Permalink Mark Unread

That's really so useful, he says delightedly. The Valar are working on making it not dangerous?

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. Aulë practically insisted.

Permalink Mark Unread

We don't want Valinor to be dangerous. It's good if everyone can just do what they like without having to think whether they could kill or harm someone if they did it wrong.

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. I'm not sure I agree with that? Making it actually impossible to harm anyone seems like it'd be very hard - they haven't actually managed it here, though it does seem like they've come pretty close - and thinking about how to avoid hurting people is a skill, and if there aren't opportunities to learn it in obvious ways, then you're in trouble when you come across a way that isn't as obvious. But my magic wouldn't be a good way to learn; the stakes are too high.

Permalink Mark Unread

I am not sure what you mean that thinking how to avoid hurting people is a skill. Can it not be learned from thinking how to do right by people in general? Does it have to involve actual danger?

Permalink Mark Unread

Thinking about how to do good for people is sort of the opposite thing - that's 'what do I need to make happen to make things go well', avoiding harm is 'what do I need to make not happen so things can't go badly'. And... I'm not sure we're thinking about harm the same way? To me, someone being upset is harm even if they'll be fine an hour later, even though that's not really dangerous in most cases and sometimes it's worth what might be gained from whatever upset them.

Permalink Mark Unread

Oh. Well the Valar do not try to manipulate the laws of the universe so no one upsets anyone. Perhaps you could say it's danger, not harm, that they are avoiding.

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. That does match what I've seen. It seems like a strange thing to do, though - it does seem to lead to less harm overall, from what I've seen so far, but it seems like when someone is harmed, that's harder to notice or fix.

Permalink Mark Unread

Do you think so? Who's been harmed? Wouldn't we notice more since it's so unusual?

Permalink Mark Unread

You seem to mostly assume that it can't happen - learning to notice when it's happened is another part of learning how to avoid harming people, now that I think about it, though kobolds are people-oriented enough that we don't really learn that as a separate skill, we just learn how to read people in general. And the situation is kind of a tricky one; I'm trying to fix it without making anything worse, and I'm not sure having more people know about it will help with that.

Permalink Mark Unread

Feanáro is unhappy because his mother died. If she hadn't died he'd be fine. That's just a problem of Valinor not being good enough at preventing harm.

Permalink Mark Unread

That didn't help anything, certainly.

Permalink Mark Unread

That is the whole of the problem. He'd be happy and the King'd be happy.

Permalink Mark Unread

Shrug.

So, which way to the linguistics guild?

Permalink Mark Unread

He leads the way. The streets are still very crowded and noisy but people've learned not to offer her things as much.

Permalink Mark Unread

Having a guide and not having Fëanáro to keep an eye on help. She notices a few people deciding not to offer her things and smiles her appreciation at them.

Permalink Mark Unread

The linguistics guild has a sprawling stone building where lots of people are debating things and lots of people are reciting poetry and lots of people are sitting around talking.

Permalink Mark Unread

The kobold is charmed, and also homesick for her Speaker's circle. She takes a location near the entrance where it's not too crowded, and then goes to listen to a debate.

Permalink Mark Unread

The debate is about how to categorize styles of art. It's very involved and everyone present seems to be having a lovely time.

Permalink Mark Unread

Her Quendi is really not good enough to follow it, but just being around it is, well. Lovely, and then she has to go back to Fëanáro's room because she's about to cry, abruptly enough that Alamande gets left behind.

Permalink Mark Unread

Feanáro's in his room playing with modeling clay. Designing another fountain.

Permalink Mark Unread

She burrows under the blankets and tries to be quiet. She doesn't succeed very well.

Permalink Mark Unread

Did you do all your errands? I had a new idea for a fountain, it's going to be so amazing.

Permalink Mark Unread

No response. Well, unless continued sobbing counts.

Permalink Mark Unread

...what's wrong?

Permalink Mark Unread

I miss my friends.

Permalink Mark Unread

Oh. I'm sorry. Can you bring them here?

Permalink Mark Unread

Not, sob, not really. No, probably not at all, and it'd be a bad idea to try.

Permalink Mark Unread

Why not?

Permalink Mark Unread

Because I'm exiled, because I'm a spellbearer - they'd try to kill me if I went back. Not the friends I'm thinking of, but the other people who'd be around if I tried to go talk to them. The sobbing has slowed down, but she doesn't exactly sound happier.

Permalink Mark Unread

So just summon your friends here.

Permalink Mark Unread

My magic doesn't work like that, and even if it did, it would hurt them to be in a strange place by surprise; I wouldn't do that to them even if I could.

Permalink Mark Unread

But wouldn't it hurt them to know you were so sad?

Permalink Mark Unread

Deep sigh. Yeah, probably, but they have their tribes to help them with that, and it's not a surprise, surprises are really hard for kobolds.

Permalink Mark Unread

So much that they'd rather let someone suffer than be surprised by a way to help them?

Permalink Mark Unread

It would hurt them a lot. And anyway it's not possible.

Permalink Mark Unread

I am sure we can figure out how to make it possible, he says. That part's easy.

Permalink Mark Unread

But it would still hurt them and I don't want to do that to my friends. It might even get them exiled, too.

Permalink Mark Unread

Not from the Noldor. We don't exile people. Exiling people is evil.

Permalink Mark Unread

That only helps at all if they can think of Quendi as their tribemates. I'm really weird for being able to do that. And even if they could it'd only help so much; they'd miss their tribes even more than I miss mine and we really can't just bring everybody here.

Permalink Mark Unread

I guess not. 

 

 

 

I'm sorry. 

Permalink Mark Unread

I'll be okay. It's just hard. She snuggles into the blankets.

Permalink Mark Unread

He hugs her. Did you do all the things you meant to? 

Permalink Mark Unread

She leans into the hug.

I decided to wait to talk to the linguists until you wanted to come with me, and I ended up just going to talk to Aulë instead of finding someone to ask questions of. And I didn't get a chance to look for something to help with the brightness. I did go to the linguistics guild, though, that's what reminded me of my friends.

Permalink Mark Unread

Your friends are like the linguistics guild? I think I'd like them.

Permalink Mark Unread

She grins, a little. Yeah, I mean the other Speakers. I'm not sure you'd like all of them but you'd definitely like us all together as a group - it's so important that we... sigh... they, remind each other of the things we know and of the language that when we see each other, we talk so much, about everything.

Permalink Mark Unread

It sounds amazing. And you can't go any more?

Permalink Mark Unread

Headshake. The way kobolds do it - most of the year we live with our tribes, scattered all over the place. And then every summer we all meet up together, all the tribes in the area, and everybody gets to meet with people from other tribes - for singing, for games, to learn more about their crafts and things, whatever they want. It's very important for a lot of reasons, and very well guarded, because my world really isn't safe. And that's when the Speakers get to meet, and they're usually in the middle of everybody, so there's no way I could stay with them without being seen.

Permalink Mark Unread

Your magic can't make you look like anyone else? Or we can't go and say you're in our tribe now so it's allowed?

Permalink Mark Unread

Headshake. It really doesn't work that way. Kobolds hide from strangers, it's how we keep ourselves safe, it's really, really important. And I count, now, since I'm exiled - that's what being exiled means, for kobolds, is that your tribe thought you were too dangerous to stay with them, even though being exiled means you have to be very, very lucky to live even another year. They were wrong about me being dangerous, but they still think that and the other tribes will listen to them, not me. And if a stranger shows up at the meetup they'll attack them and everybody will panic and there's a decent chance people will die, because if they don't attack them and panic and run away there's an even worse chance that people will die. It's awful, from the outside like this, but it's really important, from the inside; people need to be safe, and to feel safe, and in a world as dangerous as mine is, that's what it takes to have that; I don't get to hurt people just because I'm sad.

Permalink Mark Unread

But you're not the only sad person. Lots of kobolds must get exiled. And they all die. So changing the way things are so it's not like that isn't just for you.

Permalink Mark Unread

I don't think there's a better way. Most people who get exiled really are dangerous, it's not something that happens often or without a very good reason. Even murderers they'll try to work with if they think they can. With me, they thought I was hexed, which is very dangerous; if I had been, they'd absolutely have been right to send me away and not let me back, it's just that they were wrong about it.

Permalink Mark Unread

Can you prove they were wrong?

Permalink Mark Unread

Nope. They wouldn't - and shouldn't - let me close enough to even try, hexes can be dangerous at a distance if they're the wrong kind.

Permalink Mark Unread

 

 

I'm going to think of a way, I just need to keep thinking.

Permalink Mark Unread

She sighs and sits up and leans on him. I like that you're trying to help. It means a lot to me. But I don't think there's a solution to this one, and I really will be fine - I know everybody here tries to make things perfect, but I don't need that, I know how to be okay without it. Hug.

Permalink Mark Unread

What are hexes? What do they do? And you're not okay, you were crying.

Permalink Mark Unread

Hug. I will be okay, not I am okay. It's like - have you ever fallen down and scraped your hands on something rough?

Permalink Mark Unread

Yeah.

Permalink Mark Unread

And it took a while to heal, right? And it hurt, and it kept hurting sometimes until it was done, especially if you bumped it on something? This is like that. It'll heal, and I'm pretty good at taking care of myself the right ways to make sure that it heals well, but it still takes time, and today I bumped it on something, ow.

Permalink Mark Unread

It doesn't take very long to heal at all, and the Valar can patch it up right away.

 

 

And it still shouldn't ever happen.

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. I'm not saying it should happen. I'm saying that if it does, sometimes the right thing to do is just wait and let it heal, instead of maybe hurting people by trying to fix it faster. Even for something pretty big, like this - it is going to be a while, maybe more than a year, maybe even a few years, before I'm really completely okay, but I'm okay with that. I'm going to be okay, now, I didn't have that before. Hug!

Permalink Mark Unread

Hug. So what are hexes and what do they do?

Permalink Mark Unread

Hexes are a thing that can be done with my kind of magic, except the Valar are going to make it so that they can't be done here. Remember when I said why I wasn't going to teach you, there were three reasons, and one was that you could be dangerous to other people with it and so we needed to get their permission? Hexes are why.

The way my magic works, I can cast spells on things, but I can also cast spells on people. The reason I don't need a pendant to teleport wherever I want to is that I can just cast the spell on myself, instead. But I could also cast the spell on another person, and when I do that I can cast it however I want - if I want them to be able to choose when and where to teleport, I can do that. If I want them not to be able to choose when or where to teleport, I can do that, too, and that's a hex, because they don't get to control it - and spells on people don't break, not ever, so if I cast a hex on someone, they have to live with whatever mean thing I decided to do to them for the rest of their life. And, I only know teleportation magic, but there are other forms, too, that do different things; the kind of magic my tribe was worried about was fire magic, which wouldn't just be dangerous to me, it'd be dangerous to all of them, too, if there was suddenly a huge fire in the middle of the camp in the middle of the night some night.

Permalink Mark Unread

That's horrible. Who would be mean and awful enough to do something like that? And why? That's evil like the Enemy, just pointlessly. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Are you sure you want to know? It's pretty awful, my world isn't very nice at all sometimes.

Permalink Mark Unread

I want to know everything but especially things that are hurting people.

Permalink Mark Unread

Hug, then continuing with both the hug and the story.

Okay. This isn't hurting anyone now, though, there hasn't been a hex like that in more than twenty-five years. But back before I hatched, someone stole something from the elves - one of the kinds of people that live near where I used to live - and they got really, really angry about it; we don't know why. But they got so angry that they decided they didn't want any kobolds living near them any more, and they tried to kill us all. Kobold tribes are very good at hiding, so they had a hard time doing it, but eventually they figured out that even though magic traps don't work on us, really good mundane ones do, and they managed to trap some kobolds from different tribes, and hexed them, and then let them escape and go home. The first three tribes all burned up and nobody could figure out why, hug, very hug, but the fourth one, the Speaker had been away bringing a message to another tribe, and got back late, and was still awake to see what happened and get away and tell the other tribe, and they told all the other tribes. The elves tried the same thing a few more times after that, and it was so so hard to turn the hexed kobolds away, but they had to, and eventually the elves figured out that it wasn't working any more and stopped.

Permalink Mark Unread

 

Elves must be like orcs. That's so evil I - I can't even think straight. How could they. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Yeah. Hug. They stopped, after a while. Just... stopped, one day. We don't know why; all the Speakers who knew the elves' language were dead by then. Elves are very confusing and we stay very far away from them now.

Permalink Mark Unread

And you don't want to - make sure they can never ever do that again to anyone?

Permalink Mark Unread

She cocks her head and thinks about that. I guess, if I could? I don't think I could; I think if I tried they'd start trying to kill us again, and probably actually do it this time. Not worth the risk, not even a little bit; there are grown-up kobolds now who've never lived through that kind of trouble, and I'd like to keep it that way.

Permalink Mark Unread

I want to try. I won't tell anyone you sent me so they won't hurt kobolds.

Permalink Mark Unread

Hug. That is really sweet and a really awful idea. My world doesn't have Valar to fix you if you eat something poisonous or upset a dangerous wild animal, even before you go picking a fight with a village full of elves with fire magic and big scary fighting animals and weapons - you're too used to thinking of everything as safe, you don't know how to be careful.

Permalink Mark Unread

I'll wait until I'm big and take a Vala, if needed.

Permalink Mark Unread

Even most big Quendi aren't very good at being careful, I think I'd have to teach you. If you want. Hug.

Permalink Mark Unread

I definitely want. I am sad that there are places things like that can happen and it is really important to fix them. So important. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. I think it's more important to be okay, even if you can't fix things to be perfect, and the kobolds are okay, pretty much. But I'll teach you - I'll need to think about how, first - and see if I can help you figure out a plan. I don't know a whole lot about elves, though. She pauses, then grins fondly. You remind me of myself, you know, with the tigerfolk. And I wasn't able to make that perfect - I wasn't really trying to, I'm not sure trying to make that perfect would have gone well at all - but I definitely helped things.

Permalink Mark Unread

Of course you did. And some kobolds are dead. Whole tribes of kobolds. That's not just not perfect, it's not at all okay.

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. I'm not saying it's okay, and I'm not saying not to make things perfect if you can. I'm saying, if you can't, or if it's too risky or would hurt too many things, it's okay to just help. It's... she pauses to think. Ohhh. That's what this is, I bet. I bet. You haven't really had a tribe, not the way kobolds do, not even a little bit. You're not used to having other people around to help do things, you think it has to all be you. It doesn't, Fëanáro, really. I know you're used to being alone, but that's not... well, maybe for Quendi it's normal, I don't know, I don't think so, but even if it is it doesn't have to be. It's not for kobolds, not at all. It's okay to help. It's okay to be the one supporting other people to do things, it's important to have people like that. I couldn't've done what I did with the tigerfolk without my whole tribe behind me; it was their accomplishment just as much as it was mine. It was my parents' accomplishment, too, even the one who died before I ever even had the idea, because they taught me the skills I needed to know to do it. And the older generations of my tribe, who kept it strong so it could be strong for me, and everybody who kept us safe during the war with the elves when I was a baby - it's okay to be in a position like that, keeping things good and strong and whole so that when someone can really make things perfect, even if that person isn't you, they have what they need to do it. Got it?

Permalink Mark Unread

Well, my father's King so when I'm grown I can convince him that our tribe should go stop elves from hurting kobolds and then we can all do it together. 

Permalink Mark Unread

You, hug, are a sweetheart. And we can think about that plan later. I should go get Alamande, I kind of disappeared on them at the lingusitics guild, I hope they're not too upset.

Permalink Mark Unread

They might not even have noticed you're gone, is it a big place?

Permalink Mark Unread

It is big! But they were right there when I teleported, I don't think they could have thought I just wandered off or anything.

Permalink Mark Unread

Ah, okay. Then they might be scared and mad. Hugs. You could just avoid them forever. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Hug. I think it'll be okay if I just explain to them that I was homesick and didn't want to cry in front of a bunch of strangers. Do you want to come with me and see?

Permalink Mark Unread

Yeah!!

Permalink Mark Unread

Okay. We've got to tell your parent first, though, and - here's a chance to practice being careful. What do you think will happen if they find out you want to go to my world, where it's dangerous, and go where there's elves, who are extra dangerous?

Permalink Mark Unread

He'll be angry and sad and worry and try to make me not do that.

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. And it's not like you're going to do it soon - you need to learn to be careful enough, and have a good plan or probably more than one good plan in case something goes wrong with the first one, and you need to grow up enough and learn about my world - so they don't need to know now, and if you wait maybe you can find a way to tell them that won't make them angry and sad and worried and try to make you not do it, which would be better. So, what things do you need to do, or not do, to make that happen?

Permalink Mark Unread

I just shouldn't tell him about it. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. And?

Permalink Mark Unread

I won't, don't worry. I don't want to be stuck in the palace and not able to go see the linguistics guild.

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. And, we're going to see Alamande and the people at the linguistics guild today, and other people later, and any of them might tell your parent if they hear you talking about it, too.

Permalink Mark Unread

I promise I won't tell anyone until I'm so big they can't stop me. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Grin. Smart. But you probably don't have to do that; I bet there's some people we can trust with it. Just, be careful about who; it's probably best to let me make that decision for now, until you have a better idea of what to look for. Okay?

Permalink Mark Unread

Yeah. 

 

Thanks. Most people'd say to tell the King right away so he can scold me. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Hug. Well, Quendi are weird about kids, I like the kobold way of doing things better. Ready to go?

Permalink Mark Unread

Me too.

 

He holds out his hand.

Permalink Mark Unread

And here they are outside the throne room. The kobold peeks in.

Permalink Mark Unread

Finwe waves at them both. Did your errands go well, dear?

Permalink Mark Unread

She waits for the hair on her back to go down, and then approaches. Mostly. I accidentally left Alamande at the linguists' guild - it was very nice but made me homesick, and I didn't want to cry in front of everyone - so I need to go back and get them, and Fëanáro would like to come.

Permalink Mark Unread

Do you want to go, Fëanáro?

He does.

The King gives his blessing.

Permalink Mark Unread

Pop!

She leads the way to where she was sitting before, holding Fëanáro's hand. When he inevitably gets distracted, she reminds him that they need to find Alamande first and then they can sit and listen.

Permalink Mark Unread

He is extremely distracted and not very responsive to reminders of anything. He's also deliriously happy. 

Permalink Mark Unread

She really should have guessed that that would happen.

Well, maybe this will work: Alamande?

Permalink Mark Unread

He finds her pretty quickly. Hello! I wasn't sure where you'd gone, are you all right?

Permalink Mark Unread

I'm okay. She lets Fëanáro tow her toward his current point of interest. This place reminds me of home more than I expected it to, and I didn't want to start crying about it in front of strangers. Sorry if I startled you.

Permalink Mark Unread

Not at all. I can only think highly of any place that this place reminded you of; it's the pride of the Noldor. Better now? Need anything?

Permalink Mark Unread

Much better, yeah. I probably shouldn't let go of Fëanáro; if you'd like a teleport back to the palace you could get something for me to cast a spell on for you? Some kind of jewelry with a pendant or charm or similar thing would work well.

Permalink Mark Unread

I am happy to accompany you and the Prince until he gets tired. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Sure, that's fine.

What thing has Fëanáro dragged them to?

Permalink Mark Unread

A debate! He's climbing the architecture for a better view, utterly fascinated. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Well, he can only get so far with the kobold holding his hand, unless she climbs with him. Which she does.

Permalink Mark Unread

Oh good. He is going to have the best vantage point. He'll stop climbing so he isn't distracted or divided in attention. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Kobolds are not nearly as inclined to be tree creatures as Quendi, but she's not too bad at this kind of thing; she finds a spot to hold onto that won't wear her fingers or toes out too fast.

Is her Quenya good enough to catch what they're debating?

Permalink Mark Unread

Bits and pieces. It seems to be which of two pronunciations is prettier. 

Permalink Mark Unread

What a thoroughly Quendi topic. She starts memorizing the crowd so she can draw it accurately later.

Permalink Mark Unread

Fëanáro is going to happily sit here past Mingling. 

Permalink Mark Unread

The kobold keeps an eye on Alamande as it starts to get late, surreptitiously; she can push herself to stay up for a while, and this seems like a situation that warrants it, but if he seems to want to go, well, she is trying to stay on Finwë's good side.

Permalink Mark Unread

He's content to watch Fëanáro cling to the architecture.

Permalink Mark Unread

The kobold waits through Mingling, closing her eyes through the worst of it. A few hours later, she tells Fëanáro, I'm going to need a nap tomorrow afternoon if we don't go back soon. I don't mind but I don't know if you will.

Permalink Mark Unread

Fëanáro, let's go back; it's not respectful to your friend and you're friend's been very very kind to you.

Fëanáro pouts. 

You can come here again tomorrow, Alamande says.

Are you sure?

Yes.

 

 

Okay.

Permalink Mark Unread

We can definitely come back tomorrow, we still need to ask them about those new words I want.

She climbs down with Fëanáro, hugs him, and then offers Alamande her free hand.

Permalink Mark Unread

He takes it. 

Fëanáro's clinging a little. 

Permalink Mark Unread

She pops them to outside the throne room, bows to Alamande insofar as the clinging allows, and then pops herself and Fëanáro to his room.

You okay?

Permalink Mark Unread

I want to go back. That was amazing. I want to live there.

Permalink Mark Unread

She giggles. Yeah, I saw how happy you were. I don't think they have beds, though, and I do need to sleep. We can go back in the morning, I don't have any plans.

Permalink Mark Unread

Okay.

He is stubbornly refusing to yawn but will fall asleep very fast himself. 

Permalink Mark Unread

She's awake before he is, as usual, but now she can cast spells while she's snuggled up to him; this is a much nicer state of affairs. She tries drawing by teleporting ink to a sheet of paper; she's predictably awful at it, especially since she has to use the mage-sense to see anything about what she's doing, but practices patiently until Fëanáro wakes.

Permalink Mark Unread

Not too much later! He rolls out of bed immediately and says let's go back right now. 

Permalink Mark Unread

She eeps, just a little too loudly, and opens her eyes. We should get food to bring with us, you're not going to want to stop to go eat, and we have to tell your parent. And then, yes, we can go right back. And then she gets out of the bed and hugs him and offers her hand.

Permalink Mark Unread

Why do we have to tell him he said yes yesterday and maybe he'd say no today. 

Permalink Mark Unread

They've been saying yes because they trust me, at least a little, and I told them I'd tell them when we were going out and where we were going if I knew, and if I don't do that they won't trust me any more and they will start saying no. And anyway, I didn't say I'd ask permission, I just said I'd tell them; if they try to say no I bet I can talk them around to at least letting us go today, unless they have some actual reason for it.

Permalink Mark Unread

 

He might want me here so he can play with me or something. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Do they do that often? We might want to make time for it if it means you can know when you'll be able to go do things.

Permalink Mark Unread

I think whenever he's feeling guilty about not being a good father. So it's unpredictable. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Ah. Well in that case I think the worst that will happen is they might come with us.

Permalink Mark Unread

That would be okay. As long as they didn't stop the debates to bow at father, I guess. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Giggle. I don't think they'd stop for long, anyway.

Permalink Mark Unread

 

 

Okay, true. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Anyway, if we have food and everything with us and we're obviously planning to go right away they might not want to stop what they're doing to go with us, that will help. So let's go do that. Hand?

Permalink Mark Unread

Hand. He's beaming at her. That's clever.

Permalink Mark Unread

She grins. They'll notice, if we always get our way and they never get their way, I can't do the clever thing every time. But for now it's okay, we'd be doing this anyway.

And then they're in the kitchen. She gathers enough reasonably-portable food to last them the day and looks for a bag to put it in.

Permalink Mark Unread

Everyone in the kitchen is charmed and happy to find her a bag. 

Permalink Mark Unread

She thanks them, packs everything up, and teleports herself and Fëanáro to see Finwë.

Deep breath, peek?

Permalink Mark Unread

Finwe is busy talking to some people today. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Good! Hopefully. She approaches to a distance that makes it reasonably clear she'd like his attention and waits for him to acknowledge her.

Permalink Mark Unread

It takes him a while; it's a long conversation. Eventually he nods at her. Yes, dear?

Permalink Mark Unread

Okay if he's going to make a habit of calling her that the question becomes what he means by it, which is a nice little step up from augh. Probably. Augh.

Fëanáro and I very much enjoyed the linguistics guild yesterday and are planning to spend the day there today. Probably for the next few days, in fact.

Permalink Mark Unread

Lovely, he says. What are they working on there?

Permalink Mark Unread

I don't know enough Quenya yet to follow most of the details - I wonder if we could find someone there to help teach me, maybe we'll ask - but, she briefly explains what she caught from the pronunciation debate, most of which was pretty clearly gathered from watching peoples' body language rather than from the debate itself.

 

Permalink Mark Unread

Oh, interesting, he says, though he doesn't seem interested in any particular detail. That does seem the kind of thing Fëanáro'd be very interested in. Have a nice day. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Grin, bow, go.

Yes Fëanáro it's all right we can go now and we probably won't have to wait like that again tomorrow, I fixed it. Pop!

Permalink Mark Unread

That took forever, he complains, but it takes him about ten seconds to get thoroughly distracted. 

Permalink Mark Unread

As expected.

She would really rather not spend the day clinging to the architecture again; she attempts to steer them toward the seats. Let's go see if there's something open near the front, okay?

Permalink Mark Unread

But then I have to sit still and people might look at me!

Permalink Mark Unread

If you need to take a break to walk around or get away from people we can do that, just let me know you want to. Handsqueeze.

Permalink Mark Unread

 

..okay. And he sits down. And wriggles. A lot. And listens. 

Permalink Mark Unread

She hands him something to eat, and gets something to eat herself, and holds his hand, and listens as well.

Permalink Mark Unread

He cannot seem to sit still for his life but he's enchanted by the debate and will happily wriggle there all day. 

Permalink Mark Unread

This is fine! She doesn't mind the wriggles at all and mostly just seems inclined to smile fondly at him about them every so often.

After lunch, in between debate topics, she asks, do you want to ask about those words for me today?

Permalink Mark Unread

Oh right. Remind me what all they were?

Permalink Mark Unread

Ones like 'they' but in Quenya so they don't sound confusing. And I think they might want to hear about my world and make words for some things about it, but I don't know and it doesn't have to happen soon or at all if you don't want to be around for it, it might mean a lot of people paying attention to us.

Permalink Mark Unread

I like people paying attention when I talk. Just not when I'm just sitting there and not trying to do anything interesting. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Well, mostly I'd be talking, but I bet you could help, you're good at asking questions and that's a nice way to do something like that.

Permalink Mark Unread

Okay. Let's do it right now!

Permalink Mark Unread

Sounds good. Hug.

So she collects their things and pops them back out to the main part of the building and looks around to see if there's anyone obvious to ask about it.

Permalink Mark Unread

There are lots of people looking at them, some of them more blatantly than others, but none seem in charge exactly. 

Permalink Mark Unread

She'll go with the one who seems most curious among those who're meeting a minimum standard of politeness, then; if nobody's in charge someone like that might be a good choice to take charge. Approach, grin, eye contact, hello.

Permalink Mark Unread

Hello. Enjoying the debates?

Permalink Mark Unread

Very much, though I don't have enough Quenya to appreciate them properly; I've only been here a few days.

Permalink Mark Unread

You are very welcome here. What can I help you with?

Permalink Mark Unread

Well, there are a few words in the language I know that don't translate very well to Quenya and Fëanáro suggested we come see if anyone would be able to help with that, she grins at him, but I think it might make more sense to start by telling you more about myself in general, if people would be interested in that - I'm not a Maia, I'm something else entirely.

Permalink Mark Unread

I think people'd be very interested, yes. You do not look like anything in Valinor. 

Permalink Mark Unread

She grins, somewhat impishly. I'm a kobold; I'm from a different world entirely and came here more or less by accident, using teleportation magic, which the Valar are fixing to be safe enough that I can share it. We're very different from Quendi.

Permalink Mark Unread

That I had indeed noticed! I'm glad the Valar are working on it. Welcome. How are you finding Valinor?

Permalink Mark Unread

It's very different from what I'm used to, but most of the differences are good ones; I'm still getting settled in and figuring out how everything works, but I expect I'll be staying for quite a while. Handsqueeze for Fëanáro, how's he holding up?

Permalink Mark Unread

He's okay. He seems happy enough to be watching. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Good.

Anyway - I really don't know anything about how things are done here, so I could use some help figuring out how to give a talk like that in a way that'd seem familiar enough to people here, if you have the time or know someone who might?

Permalink Mark Unread

I would be happy to sit down with you and help you design a talk!

Permalink Mark Unread

She smiles and bows. Thank you. Whenever is convenient for you will probably be fine.

Permalink Mark Unread

Lovely! How about tomorrow? I don't have anything planned tomorrow. 

Permalink Mark Unread

We'd planned to be here, but not anything more specific than that yet. Fëanáro, does that sound okay to you?

Permalink Mark Unread

Yeah, he says nervously. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Something wrong?

Permalink Mark Unread

No. Just - you're giving a talk! That's so serious!

Permalink Mark Unread

She chuckles and hugs him. A little bit, I guess. I think it'll be fine, though. I haven't talked in front of this many people before but this isn't too different from kobold Speakers meeting together.

Permalink Mark Unread

I am sure you'll do great. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Grin. Thank you. We'll see you tomorrow, then. Bow.

Fëanáro, do you want to go back and listen to some more debates, or do something else?

Permalink Mark Unread

I want to stay forever. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Yeah, I know. She leads them back in to find someplace to sit again and gives him a hug.

Permalink Mark Unread

I'm not sad, I'm happy. This is a good place. I see why it made you sad but my tribe is right here. 

Permalink Mark Unread

I know you're happy, I can see it. I'm happy that you're happy; that's why I hugged you, it's not just for when someone's sad.

Permalink Mark Unread

Oh.

 

I guess I'm not happy much so I didn't know. 

Permalink Mark Unread

There is another, somewhat squeezier, hug. I know. I'm working on that.

Permalink Mark Unread

You're really good at it. Everything is so good. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Good. I want you to be happy, it's important.

Permalink Mark Unread

I want you to be happy too and tribes not to be wiped out and all those bad things to stop forever.

Permalink Mark Unread

Solemn nod, and another squeeze. I'm getting happier, Fëanáro. I think giving the talk will help with that, or anyway I hope so. But let's watch the debate for now, we can talk later.

Permalink Mark Unread

Fëanáro.is very much comfortable with this plan. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Of course he is. (Such a cute kid.)

Eventually it's dinnertime, and eventually it's the Mingling, and eventually the kobold starts yawning.

Permalink Mark Unread

And again he'll fail to catch this cue, engrosssed in the arguments going on around him. 

Permalink Mark Unread

She catches herself the first time she starts to doze off, and nudges Fëanáro. Time to go, after this one. I need to be awake tomorrow to work on the talk.

Permalink Mark Unread

Oh, right. He reluctantly takes her hand when that one's done, but does not go to sleep. 

Permalink Mark Unread

She should find someone to ask about that, soon. For now: zzzzz.

In the morning she packs up another day's worth of food and her drawing supplies and then takes them to check in with Finwë.

Permalink Mark Unread

Today he wants to come along. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Well, that's. Interesting. She's very polite about it, of course.

They go collect Fëanáro and she teleports them to the guild.

Permalink Mark Unread

The King causes a stir, but only a brief one. The King wants Fëanáro to sit in his lap and Fëanáro reluctantly does. He wiggles a lot. The King is disconcerted. 

Permalink Mark Unread

The kobold is not; she doesn't exactly make a show of being unbothered but does sort of project it a little.

She hands Fëanáro something to eat and offers Finwë a choice of a few things as well.

Permalink Mark Unread

He commends her thoughtfulness but says he's less likely than Fëanáro to forget to eat. They watch a debate. It's very nice. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Well, the kobold's kind of watching her companions more than she's watching the debate, but she's being careful about it, figuring people out is usually easier when they aren't trying to put on an act. It helps that she can let most of her glances look like keeping an eye on Fëanáro.

Permalink Mark Unread

Fëanáro is uncomfortable in his father's lap, but Finwe doesn't seem to have noticed this or be attributing it to his presence. Fëanáro is wiggly separate from being uncomfortable. The novelty of the King wears off fast and the debate is typically engrossing and Fëanáro gets more comfortable as time goes on. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Quendi: absurdly bad at noticing body language. It is known. Also, if they generally raise kings this way maybe Finwë's suffering from the same lack of opportunity to learn basic things that Fëanáro's already displayed some of, and all fifty years' worth of it instead of just twelve. (How do they even survive that, gosh.) This is a plausible and relatively charitable theory and she will definitely have to keep it in mind in future interactions with Finwë.

Fëanáro getting more comfortable is a good thing; she tries not to let the fact that this calms her as well be too obvious, even though it probably wouldn't be noticed anyway.

Permalink Mark Unread

It wouldn't; they're engrossed in the debate. When it ends Finwe wants to take his son out for lunch and Fëanáro wants to stay here and they have a fight over this. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Sigh. (No, no sigh, that's not the image she wants to project. Internal sigh.)

Fëanáro, she interrupts.

Permalink Mark Unread

He turns to look at her, a little tearily. 

Permalink Mark Unread

c'mere. She scoots over so there's room for him between her and his father and offers a hug.

Permalink Mark Unread

He hugs her. 

Are you coming to lunch with us? Finwe says to her. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Yeah, she nods. One minute.

Fëanáro, I'm pretty sure your parent can't just eat lunch here like we can. See how nobody else is? We can do it, because you're little and little kids need things that grownups don't and people will understand that, or at least they should. But your parent isn't just a grownup, they're in charge, and that means they have to do things the right way and show that they respect the rules, so people know that they can trust them to do that when it's important. Understand?

Permalink Mark Unread

 

...so he can go. I wanna stay. 

Permalink Mark Unread

 ...what's Finwë's body language looking like in relation to all this?

Permalink Mark Unread

He looks stressed and sad. 

Permalink Mark Unread

They could. They want to eat with you, though. They'll be sad if they don't get to do that.

Permalink Mark Unread

 

I always make him sad. It's so hard not to. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Sigh, hug.

I know it isn't easy for you. But I think it's something you can do, this time, if you want to.

Permalink Mark Unread

And Fëanáro goes with them to lunch. Very grumpily.

Permalink Mark Unread

The kobold takes a carefully neutral stance on the grumpiness and keeps an eye on Finwë's reaction to the whole thing.

Permalink Mark Unread

Finwe looks confused, and a little disconcerted, but catches her eyes and beams at her once she persuades Fëanáro, and shoots her a grateful look a little later. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Progress! Reasonableness! Hooray! She keeps her smile to a level that's appropriate for 'pleased at having her skill recognized'.

As lunch starts winding down, she says, so, it seemed like it'd make more sense to give a talk about kobolds first, so people have an idea of things, and then ask for help with the translation issue, instead of asking first and having to answer a lot of questions right then and probably give a talk eventually anyway, and I found someone yesterday to help with that since I still don't have enough Quenya to figure out how the talks work myself in enough detail, and we were going to meet them today to work on that. I suspect Fëanáro won't mind going back to watch more debates, though, if you'd rather they stay with you - Fëanáro?

Permalink Mark Unread

I want to watch more debates, he says instantly.

 

If that's what gets him tired enough to sleep at night, the King says wearily. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Doesn't always, but I expect I'll be able to tempt them home with stories about my talk, she grins. And it's nice to see you enjoying something together.

Permalink Mark Unread

Thank you. And I appreciated it when you talked to him earlier. You did very well at that. 

Permalink Mark Unread

She beams at him and dips her head in a short bow. That was Speaking, it's an important career among kobolds. I'll be able to do more complicated things as I get to know you more.

Permalink Mark Unread

It sounded like 'reasoning with my son', which I have a feeling is going to be an important career among the Noldor if he doesn't learn to make himself easier to reason with.  

Permalink Mark Unread

That gets a chuckle, and she reaches over to squeeze Fëanáro's hand. I expect they'll grow out of that, or into it. A lot of little kids are like that, at least kobold kids; what I was taught about how to Speak to and for kids of their apparent age works just fine.

Permalink Mark Unread

I find that very reassuring, he says. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Their focus is a little unusual, but that'll be a strength if they keep it, I think. A kobold twice their apparent age would still have trouble sitting through a full day of something, even if it was something they liked and they didn't have to sit still, it's actually really impressive.

Permalink Mark Unread

He's a Noldo, he says proudly. He'll be a great inventor someday. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Yeah. Did you get to see the fountain they made? That was their design, more or less entirely, I just did the casting.

Permalink Mark Unread

He did a really lovely job of it, didn't he! Though the casting is a great part of the project, don't sell yourself short. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Well, that is my Gift. ...actually, now that I think about it - do you have Inspired Gifts here? I don't think I've seen any artifacts, not that it'd be easy to tell with how pretty everything is.

Permalink Mark Unread

I have never heard of whatever you are referencing. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Ah, probably just my world, then; I'm not sure what you'll think of it. It's... basically magic, but not the kind anyone does, it's just something that happens, that every so often someone will get Inspired. I've never heard of magic being someone's Gift before, and it seems to work a bit differently, but usually when someone is Inspired they feel compelled to craft a particular thing, quite suddenly, and whatever it is turns out amazingly pretty and has a few unusual traits, mostly that it can't be damaged. The thing is an artifact; the Inspired person also ends up amazingly skilled at whatever craft they used to create it, when they come out of the crafting fugue, and that's their Gift. The teleportation magic is my Gift; the spell form I use to cast teleportation spells is my artifact.

Permalink Mark Unread

We do not have that. We speak of inspiration but it's nothing so concrete. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. So, I appreciate the compliment, but it really doesn't count in the same way.

Lunch is looking pretty done. Shall we go back?

Permalink Mark Unread

It does not count to be complimented on your Gift? The rest of the tradition seems lovely but that bit seems odd to me. 

Permalink Mark Unread

You can compliment it if you want to, I'm not going to be offended or anything, but it's not something I worked for - it's something I have, not something I am like another skill would be.

Permalink Mark Unread

Ah. Here complimenting good uses of skills someone has by fortune is considered very normal. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. Cultural difference; we have a lot of those. I'll keep it in mind to mention in the talk if there's time.

Permalink Mark Unread

I am looking forward to this talk tremendously. 

Permalink Mark Unread

I should go get started, then - I should see where you'll be sitting, first, though, so I can find you when I'm done.

Permalink Mark Unread

He points out their seats. Good skill with the talk. 

Permalink Mark Unread

She beams at him again, retrieves her drawing supplies from the bag, hugs Fëanáro, and sets off to look for her new acquaintance.

Permalink Mark Unread

He recognizes her and waves. Have some ideas?

Permalink Mark Unread

Yep! I'm more worried about how to organize everything and how much detail to put into things and stuff, I've noticed plenty of differences already.

Permalink Mark Unread

Do you want to start by telling me those? Then we can think about what orders might make sense. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Sure, let me see... actually, first - she sets her things up for drawing. This'll help me remember what we talked about, since I expect this is going to get complicated. Anyway, I'll start with some stuff about the world, since that's important context for a lot of the rest. And so she does - sun and moon and seasons, do they have seasons here, and where she lives is all forest, and here's the kinds of people there are in general, and here's the kinds of people that live near where she lived, and here's a sketch of a kobold and a tigerperson to scale, and there are no Valar or Maia or anybody so it's all pretty dangerous and actually that's one of her questions, is how much she can talk about dangerous things or bad things that happened without upsetting people and what she should do instead when something like that is integral to understanding something else.

Permalink Mark Unread

We too have griefs from Cuivienen. People will be upset and you may want to build in pauses for them to recover but you need not avoid the topics. 

Permalink Mark Unread

She nods, solemnly. All right. I'll try to keep it light anyway, but some of it really isn't avoidable if I want to answer questions I'm sure people will have, so it's good that I don't have to avoid it.

So: kobolds. There are a lot of differences between kobolds and Quendi, and she's sure she hasn't noticed them all yet, so it's probably best in general for people to assume she's not very much like them. Most kobolds don't talk, would be the most obvious difference from a Quendi perspective - they communicate mostly by body language, and are very good at it - and kobolds are much more people-oriented, is the obvious one to her. Kobold society is structured very differently than Quendi society, in lots of ways; kobolds live in tribes of about a hundred people, except during the summer when all the tribes in an area will meet together; her meetup group had seventeen tribes. Most kobolds won't voluntarily interact with anyone who's not a kobold - she's very strange for a kobold in being able to be calm enough around a different kind of person to talk to them; kobolds in general are afraid of strange or unexpected things, on the basis that they're most likely dangerous.

Kobolds also don't do ownership; the tribe's resources are all held in common. In general, a kobold's tribe is the main focus of their life, directly or indirectly; kobolds don't survive without their tribes, and any work they do will be to support their tribe as a whole - often with a focus on personal friends, or on what they personally want to see the tribe be, but doing something like hunting or gathering or crafting and then not sharing the results would be considered highly antisocial, and a lot of kinds of work are inherently prosocial - healing, childrearing, Speaking, that kind of thing. Kobolds also enjoy the challenge of finding things that are hidden or guarded, and regularly hide things for each other to find; they also like to go take things from other people, as a test of skill, which they don't see a problem with but other people consider very antisocial, so that's a problem. She in particular does not do that thing; she's seen enough of how Quendi do things and feels welcome enough that she's passably comfortable treating shops like kobold tribes' storage piles, but she's being pretty cautious about even that, for now, since she's seen how seriously some people take ownership and she's not really sure about the underlying psychology.

Kobolds are very touch-oriented in a way that's similar to what she's been told about how Quendi are speech-oriented; it's a strong reminder of the fact that they're not alone and that their tribemates care about them. There are conventions about approaching someone to touch them - there are conventions about approaching people in general, in fact, between tribemates it's not usually a big deal but even they can come across as rude or hostile if they approach too quickly, or come too close without waiting to be acknowledged. Yes, this means that people approaching her on the street to offer her things is kind of alarming; she does understand that it means something very different to them, and in the case of being offered food she likes it - handing someone something is a demand, in her culture, but handing someone food in particular is a demand that they take care of themselves, which is actually really sweet and useful while she's adjusting; it's pretty easy for her to lose track of herself with so many new things to figure out.

Hmmm...

Inspired Gifts are this thing; her magic is hers, which is weird, usually it's, like, bonecarving or something. Her actual career that she trained for is as a Speaker, which is sort of a catch-all career for anything that requires talking, but mostly it's about helping various tribes cooperate, since kobolds from different tribes have trouble communicating the usual way. Speaking for someone is kind of a big deal - you can really hurt them if you do it badly enough - so Speakers learn to understand body language above and beyond the usual kobold competence at it, and psychology, and negotiation skills, and that kind of thing; she's kind of middling at those things by Speaker standards; her focus was on interspecies diplomacy rather than any of the usual skills.

Permalink Mark Unread

He is fascinated and earnestly delighted and worried and impressed to various degrees as she explains. This is going to be extraordinary. We've never met other kinds of people before. And you're very good at interspecies diplomacy.

Permalink Mark Unread

She grins. Yeah, I've put a lot of work into the diplomacy; it's not a very safe thing to do, at home, but it needed to be done, so. I'd been at it for nearly fifteen years when I got my magic and had to stop, which I think is a pretty impressive run - I don't really have anything to compare it to, I've never heard of any kobold doing it before.

- I forgot to mention that; kobolds age differently than Quendi. We're adults at twelve and fully-grown in our early twenties, and we're not unaging, we only live 125 to 150 years. I'm 31; I started doing diplomacy with the tigerfolk when I was sixteen.

Permalink Mark Unread

That is important! Can the Valar change it? It'd be a tragedy for you to die...

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. I'm going to ask Aulë next time I see them, but there are a couple of unaging species in my world, I don't think it's that hard to do - I should probably ask before I give the talk, so I can reassure everyone properly.

At this, she takes a fresh sheet of paper, draws an extended hand at one corner, and then adds a quick sketch of Aulë.

Permalink Mark Unread

Lovely! Is that a preliminary organization for the talk?

Permalink Mark Unread

Reminder to go talk to Aulë sooner rather than later - I can expect to live another hundred years, now, I wasn't expecting that before, asking for more isn't urgent - but that's why I brought the paper and ink in general, yes, so I can draw reminders of how I intend to do things.

Permalink Mark Unread

I do the same thing. Okay. How long are you thinking you'll want to talk, allowing for questions?

Permalink Mark Unread

She considers. There's a lot of stuff to talk about here, we might need to break it up into separate talks. Make them a couple hours each, maybe?

Permalink Mark Unread

That seems like a good way to do it. How are you thinking of organizing it into separate topics?

Permalink Mark Unread

Hmm.

Talk about the world in general, first, I think, and I can explain Inspired Gifts and give an overview of my magic at the same time, since those aren't kobold-specific. She draws a tree, a tigerperson, a ring, and a gem, and circles them. Then maybe an overview of the tribal structure and some of the more important interpersonal customs - campfire, plainer ring, kebabs, pair of kobolds - I'll mention Speaking then, but it ought to get its own talk, probably. She draws a more detailed kobold, probably a specific person. I'd also mention that we don't talk, in with the tribal structure talk, and I'm not sure if people will want more detail about that - it's the kind of thing I'd be curious about, but the people I've mentioned it to so far haven't been.

Permalink Mark Unread

I am desperately curious but worried I'd say something rude. The assumption here is that talking is the distinguishing trait between people and nonpeople. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Yeah, back home, too. She makes a complicated face. That's the diplomacy I was doing, was going and being obviously a person at the tigerfolk and then explaining that other kobolds aren't animals either; I'm pretty hard to offend on that topic.

Permalink Mark Unread

I am trying to imagine what having thoughts would be like if I did not have words.

Permalink Mark Unread

Most of my thoughts aren't in words, but I'm not sure that's possible to share over osanwë. I can try...

She looks around the room for a small group of people talking together, and attempts to send her impressions of what their body language is saying.

Permalink Mark Unread

Hmm. I don't think I'm quite understanding but I gather that it's me failing to understand. All of our complicated thoughts are in words. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. Maybe I can come up with a simpler example; I would like to share one if it's possible. This time, she doesn't bother switching back to thinking privately; a jumble of thoughts cross her mind before she settles on a memory of building a fire - judging each piece of wood for how it will contribute to it, considering how it'll burn in different configurations, working out how to get the longest, safest fire out of the least wood so she can sleep safely next to it and wake up warm. Also: lonely. sad. stressed.

Permalink Mark Unread

He frowns at her concernedly. That is a good example. Are you all right?

Permalink Mark Unread

She blinks at him. ...didn't realize it'd send the emotions too, sorry about that. I'm doing better now; kobolds aren't meant to be alone like I was then.

Permalink Mark Unread

I am very glad you're doing better. It'll be a very useful and interesting talk. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Yeah. What else I should include in it? I'm not actually sure what you'd want to hear about, it's all everyday stuff to me.

Permalink Mark Unread

How kobolds distinguish tribes, what the environment of your world is like - what things were new to you here, anything we don't have here - more of kobold customs around marriage and family...

Permalink Mark Unread

Notes, notes, ...I don't think we have that one.

Permalink Mark Unread

Family? Parents ahd children and brothers and sisters and cousins?

Permalink Mark Unread

We have families - we approach that differently, but it's similar enough to be more or less recognizable. The other thing sounded like a very specific kind of partnership?

Permalink Mark Unread

Oh, marriage. If you don't have genders I suppose you couldn't have marriage.

Permalink Mark Unread

Yeah, that's another thing we don't have.

...I'm not sure if I want to ask about that and I'm not sure I can figure out a polite way to do it if I do.

Permalink Mark Unread

I think cultural gaps are best bridged if we assume everyone's trying at politeness and will get better at it if explained how they're coming across. Marriage is a partnership between a man and a woman to love each other forever and usually have children together.

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod.

We have partnerships; romantic ones are common, but not the only type, and they're only loosely related to egglaying or raising children - my imprinted parent was partnered but their partner wasn't a parent to me, for example.

Permalink Mark Unread

That should definitely be covered in the talk. And we have other kinds of partnerships, but marriage is one of the most significant and the only irrevocable one.

Permalink Mark Unread

She nods, and takes a moment to consider. Tell me more about genders? Unless that's private, but it doesn't seem to be.

Permalink Mark Unread

Elves are either men or women. You can usually see the difference at a glance and most people dress to signal it because they don't want to be mistaken for the other thing. There are things women are better at and things men are better at but not too many of them. Occasionally someone's born the wrong one so they have to change it.

Permalink Mark Unread

Yeah, we definitely don't have that. There's the anatomical difference, and it's occasionally possible to tell which someone has by how they look, but it's considered very private information in general - I suppose there could be differences in aptitude, we wouldn't have any way to know about them.

Permalink Mark Unread

That's not rude. Though telling someone they should stop dressing in a way that indicates their gender because they ought to keep it private would be. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. People telling me about each other all the time has been a little disconcerting, but I'm not going to ask anyone to stop doing anything - I am planning on asking if some neutral Quenya words can be invented, since I don't think I'll be able to use the existing ones without the connotations from my culture sneaking in and using my language's neutral words is apparently confusing, but I don't mind if nobody else uses them.

Permalink Mark Unread

People will be excited to invent words! Maybe some of the Maiar will use them. I appreciate your patience with all the cultural differences.

Permalink Mark Unread

She grins. Yeah, I'd gathered that. And the cultural difference isn't that big of a deal. I mean, it would be, but, there's context - how curious might people be about why I came here and how I got separated from my tribe, by the way? That's one of the things that needs upsetting context to make sense, and it's not all that comfortable for me to talk about, but if people will wonder I'd rather just explain.

Permalink Mark Unread

I don't think they'll ask. We all left scary worlds for Valinor so they'll assume it's that.

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. And that's more or less correct, yeah.

She checks her notes. So, families. Kobolds lay eggs; my impression has been that Quendi don't? And we don't do ownership, and that applies even to eggs, so the person who hatches an egg is usually not the same person who laid it - not that it's impossible to hold onto an egg if someone really wants to, but there's not an assumption that that's going to happen or even that the egg-parent would want to. That has a couple of useful effects; nobody ends up being an imprinted parent if they don't want to, and if the rest of the tribe thinks someone would make a bad parent, they generally won't be able to hold onto an egg long enough to hatch it. Hatchlings imprint on the first person they see when they hatch, and that's their imprinted parent. For the first two or three years a baby will be with their parent or another caregiver all the time; around the time they're walking reliably and can be trusted not to try to eat things they shouldn't, they're ready to start spending less time with their parent and more time with the rest of the tribe - for the littlest kids it's all about learning how the tribe works in general, but after a year or so they start taking more of an interest in specific adults and the things they're doing, and it's pretty common for kids to adopt more parents at that age, as they start working out how they fit into the tribe - adults have some choice, about that, but generally once a kid is attached, they're attached. She looks fondly amused. 

Permalink Mark Unread

We do not lay eggs, no. The people who create the child will also be the ones who are the parent - we don't have imprinting, but the caretaker. Children can't acquire new parents, unless theirs die or cannot take care of them, and that's an awful tragedy to be avoided. They can acquire mentors and family-like figures.

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. We do mentoring, too, but that's not specific to children, and pretty much the entire tribe is family-like.

Permalink Mark Unread

Our tribe is a little too big for that, I think. It is much bigger than yours. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. Kobold tribes can get as big as about 150 people, and then they end up either losing people to other tribes or splitting into two, depending on how good the leadership is and if there's a good candidate for a new chief - more than that and we can't get to know each other well enough to work together as a tribe. I'm not really sure we should be using the same term for kobold tribes and Quendi ones, they seem pretty different.

Permalink Mark Unread

We can invite people to invent new words there too. They do seem very different. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Mmhmm. You said something earlier about distinguishing tribes? I kind of wonder what you mean by that, for kobolds tribe membership comes down to who you're choosing to live with - for most people that's the tribe they hatched into, but switching tribes isn't especially uncommon.

Permalink Mark Unread

We also can switch tribes, but it is pretty uncommon and you can usually tell our three major tribes apart by looking, there are differences in hair and skin color and face shape. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Huh. Yeah, that sounds like a different thing entirely.

She looks over her notes. I should probably mention that kobolds don't do names, in with the bit about us not talking - I'm familiar with the concept but I don't have or particularly want one, and I definitely don't want suggestions from people I'm not close to, any ideas about that?

Permalink Mark Unread

You can just say that just like among us, suggesting a name for someone is an intimate thing to do, you'd find it uncomfortable. Even though you don't have one. How do you want people to refer to you? What do you want them to call you?

Permalink Mark Unread

That's perfect, good. People can just call me the kobold, there's not really any chance another one of us will turn up here.

Permalink Mark Unread

Okay. But if there were several? I'm just trying to imagine calling everyone around me by descriptions - eventually the descriptions just would be the same as names, among our people...

Permalink Mark Unread

That's sort of what we do, but it's not spoken descriptions, it's mimicked body language, and it changes by context - I'm not sure Quendi read body language well enough for that at all, but it works for us.

Permalink Mark Unread

It is easier for me to conceptualize that as 'you have a sign language, and names in that' but perhaps it's impolite to try to round you off to us that way. 

Permalink Mark Unread

She chuckles and shrugs. There isn't enough precedent for this for me to say anything's impolite in that direction. But it really isn't much like having names - the mimicry is at least as much about how the person's relevant as about who they are, it's not the same from one interaction to the next or even within the same interaction.

Permalink Mark Unread

Well, lots of people have different names for different contexts, and people do communicate things about the capacity in which they think of the person by which name they use. But a lot less, I'll concede that. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Huh. I hadn't noticed that yet - descriptions instead of names, sometimes, but not extra names. Good to know, that might've been confusing.

Permalink Mark Unread

Some people will use their fathername formally and their mothername interpersonally and have a chosen name with their spouse. That sort of thing. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. That doesn't sound too hard to keep track of, I should be all right. Thank you.

She looks over her notes again. I think the next thing to do is get these all organized into different talks, and then see what kinds of detail each one needs. Or - maybe I should give one talk first, before we try to plan the rest too much? That means more time between them, or at least between the first and the rest, but the talks themselves will be better suited to what people are interested in, I'm not sure which matters more here.

Permalink Mark Unread

I don't think people will mind more time passing at all.

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. All right.

I wonder if I should paint some things, to show. I don't think I'm even close to Quendi standards at it, but I can do a passable sunrise and sunset pair for people to look at, you don't have those here.

Permalink Mark Unread

You should! People will understand that the drawings are meant to be illustrative, not proof you're a painter. Can you also send mental images, though? We often use that.

Permalink Mark Unread

Probably, now that I know it's possible. And here is a lovely deep-purple late sunset.

Permalink Mark Unread

Oooooh. That's stunning. I wish we had them here. Maybe the Valar can add them. Wow. It's beautiful.

Permalink Mark Unread

She chuckles. I'll mention it next time I see Aulë. Sunrises are pretty great, too - and here's a sequence of sunrise memories, from the first hint of light through the last fading streaks of color.

Permalink Mark Unread

He watches yearningly. Thank you so much, he says when she's done. That was one of the most beautiful moments I've experienced.

Permalink Mark Unread

She grins. You're very welcome. I'm going to have to learn how to paint up to Quendi standards now, aren't I, she jokes.

Permalink Mark Unread

It'd make people very happy! But only if it made you happy.

Permalink Mark Unread

Well, making people happy makes me happy, so that's convenient. I do like painting, though, too.

Permalink Mark Unread

You can get lots of lovely materials for it here, too!

Permalink Mark Unread

Maybe you can show me where, sometime?

Permalink Mark Unread

I'd be happy to. The main reason we don't go taking peoples' things in an unorganized way isn't property, it's convenience. It's nice to know that if you leave something somewhere in your house it'll still be there, it'd be distressing for things to vanish. It's not so much ownership as ability to predict access.

Permalink Mark Unread

Huh. Kobolds just store all the tribe's things together, if I wanted to paint something I'd just go get what I needed from there and put it back when I was done for the next person to use. That also makes it easy to see what we have, and what we need to get more of or be careful of using up.

Permalink Mark Unread

Ah. Perhaps the difference is that we won't run short of anything, and people might have different needs from things like paints - for example, storing them at the right temperature and only using clean brushes might be important to one person, while another would feel stifled if they had to take that much care. If they each have a set they can each use it as they want.

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. Different tribes are more or less strict about that kind of thing, but we always keep in mind that the things we're using will be used by others, not doing that would be rude. And it's... you can infer things that way, if you pay attention, it's kind of another way of keeping an eye on how the tribe is doing. Like, one of the ways I contributed to my old tribe was gathering medicinal plants, and knowing how much pain-relieving berries or stress-relieving leaves we were using was sometimes an important clue that something was going on that I'd want to know about.

Permalink Mark Unread

I think I understand. But it's not that people'd be careless with collective property, it's that people care different amounts about things like how carefully paint is stored. To someone it might be really important and they spend weeks testing to find the perfect storage temperature and conditions and ways it'll be used. It wouldn't be fair for them to demand everyone else be that careful. I suppose without talking, monitoring usage might be necessary to know if anything's up. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Yeah, I understand. Species difference, I think; caring that much about something like that would be unusual in a kobold. At a guess, if someone did their tribe would try to accommodate it, but it'd depend on the tribe and the circumstances; we are generally pretty good about making sure people have what they need to be happy, when we can, it's just that that'd be a strange thing to need and people might have trouble believing it.

Permalink Mark Unread

It's a common need here, but perhaps only because it's possible. Maybe if it weren't artists would learn to be less picky. 

Permalink Mark Unread

That's probably part of it, yeah. ...I wonder if keeping that in mind will help. It's been kind of nagging at me that there aren't any elderly or disabled people here; I understand why, but at home, keeping more vulnerable tribemates alive and well and happy is a point of pride for a tribe, it shows that they can work together well enough to make that happen. Looking around and not seeing anyone like that, my first instinct is to wonder what horrible thing I haven't noticed, and I keep having to remind myself that it's just different here. And now I can remind myself that your extra resources go to picky, amazing artists, instead.

Permalink Mark Unread

He laughs. What a good outlook. Disability the Valar can help with, but they don't always because sometimes someone prefers not to be altered. We do have a few people who are blind or deaf. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Huh, I wonder why someone would choose that. It's definitely good that they get the choice, though.

Permalink Mark Unread

I do not quite understand it myself, but I suppose there are all kinds of peoples in the world. Even more than we realized. 

Permalink Mark Unread

She grins. Yeah.

Permalink Mark Unread

This was fascinating and I expect I'm not the only person who'll be fascinated. 

Permalink Mark Unread

That's the idea, anyway.

Are you usually around here? I'm not sure how long it's going to take me to get these organized, she gestures at the notes, but I'd like to go over them with you again when they are. And maybe introduce you more properly to Fëanáro, they could use more friendly faces around.

Permalink Mark Unread

I am! I love the debates, they make me so happy. I'd be happy to spend more time with the prince as well. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Good. My guess is that it'll take me a couple of days, but I'm not really making my own schedule right now. I'll be around, though, feel free to come sit with us if you see Fëanáro and me.

Permalink Mark Unread

I shall keep that in mind! Thank you and good skill. 

Permalink Mark Unread

You too!

She gathers up her papers and pops back to where Finwë and Fëanáro were sitting.

Permalink Mark Unread

How'd it go?

Permalink Mark Unread

Really well. It's not all going to fit into one talk, next I have to figure out how I want to divide the topics up.

Permalink Mark Unread

Can I help?

Permalink Mark Unread

Of course. Not right now, though, unless you want to go back to the palace; I'll need room to spread my notes out.

Permalink Mark Unread

Later, then. I don't want to go back to the palace, this talk's so interesting. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Sure, I'm not in a hurry.

Permalink Mark Unread

And he'll instantly go back to looking at the speaker. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Yep.

How's Finwë, still enjoying himself?

Permalink Mark Unread

He is, less restlessly than his son, and looking at Fëanáro fondly every minute or so. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Awwwwwww. This is good. She did a good.

Permalink Mark Unread

Fëanáro barely even protests when swept away in the evening because it's bedtime. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Did you have a good time today? she asks when they're all snuggled up in bed.

Permalink Mark Unread

Yeah. I want to do something I can give a talk about. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Any idea what?

Permalink Mark Unread

No. I haven't thought of anything good enough yet. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Hmm. What have you thought of that isn't good enough?

Permalink Mark Unread

I haven't done anything that other people couldn't do better. I'm not important. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Cuddlesome hug, humming. You don't have to be best to be important, or to have interesting things to say. I'm pretty sure most of the people I saw talking weren't the very best at the things they were talking about, they didn't carry themselves like they thought they were.

Permalink Mark Unread

They might be and not know it. People who are really good just see ways they could be better. And I'm not even pretty good at anything yet. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Hmm. Maybe, but it didn't seem like that to me. Anyway, you haven't had chances to try most things yet, I don't think? And you did really well with the fountain, I think you were more than pretty good at that.

Permalink Mark Unread

Yes but it was you with the magic. 

I should do more fountains.

Permalink Mark Unread

It was me with the magic but the magic was the easy part, figuring out what you need to make it do is the hard part. I wouldn't've been able to make a fountain nearly that pretty by myself. Yawn. We can do more fountains tomorrow, if you want, I think it's bedtime for kobolds now though.

Permalink Mark Unread

It's always bedtime for kobolds, he grumbles.

Permalink Mark Unread

Yeah, sort of. If you want to stay up and think about fountain designs that's okay. I can do more complicated spells than the ones you've seen - I don't have much practice at it, but they can react to things around them, like, do one thing when there's a shadow on the bowl and another thing when there's not, that kind of thing. Yawn.

Permalink Mark Unread

Oooooh! That's amazing, we can do so much with that!

Permalink Mark Unread

Mmhmm. So think about what you want to try and I'll cast them for you in the morning. Her humming takes on a lullabyish tone.

Permalink Mark Unread

Okayyyyy. And he sits up trying to imagine it out, bouncing slightly on the bed.

Permalink Mark Unread

Well, it was worth a try. He didn't sleep last night, he'll probably nod off on his own eventually.

She keeps humming for a while, but eventually it fades out, replaced by the steady breathing of a sleeping kobold.

Permalink Mark Unread

He does nod off on his own eventually. 

Permalink Mark Unread

The next morning, she's careful to be very still as she works on her teleportation-drawing.

Permalink Mark Unread

And after a while he stirs and then jerks awake. I had some ideas! It can be a moving statue! I hope I didn't forget all of them when I fell asleep, I hate falling asleep...

Permalink Mark Unread

She doesn't startle this time, but giggles and hugs him. How would you do a moving statue?

Permalink Mark Unread

Water'd be one way to do it, you could have the water push the moving parts. Or you could have it move in wind but the Valar don't make the city windy very often. Or you could let people move it.

 

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. That sounds like it'd be hard to do with teleported water, since the spell has to know exactly where to put it. But we can try it anyway, if you want. Breakfast first, but I can go get it while you start thinking about how to do it?

Permalink Mark Unread

Yeah. Can the spell fill buckets that tip when they're full? That'd be one way.

Permalink Mark Unread

If the buckets don't move around other than to tip, yeah. And if they need to, I might be able to do it with a kind of spell I haven't tried yet, I'm not sure. Food first, though, then spells. And she gets out of bed and disappears, returning a few minutes later with fruit and pastries.

Permalink Mark Unread

What's the kind of spell you haven't tried yet?

Permalink Mark Unread

Portals. The spells I've been doing, you touch them and they move you all at once? Portals would be, you touch them and you go through a little bit at a time, as you move. And I'm not sure what happens when you go backward after you've gone partway through a portal, but I bet you can bring things back through with you, that looks like how it should work.

Permalink Mark Unread

Ooooh! That'd be really cool, yes, let's practice with those!!

Permalink Mark Unread

She chuckles. All right. It's going to take me a while to cast the first one, though, since I've never done one before and I want to make sure I do it right so it's safe.

Permalink Mark Unread

I'll be patient! He immediately starts wiggling.

Permalink Mark Unread

You, she grins, are very cute.

And then she takes a blank piece of paper and closes her eyes. It'll be about half an hour, if nothing interrupts her.

Permalink Mark Unread

He'll run off to start doing designs, but he won't bother her.

Permalink Mark Unread

And after half an hour, the paper contains a little portal showing a view of the bed from the middle of the room. Got it!

Permalink Mark Unread

Cool! I was trying to make wheels of buckets out of wood so you can turn a constant thing like water pouring into a stepwise things portals can change around.

Permalink Mark Unread

...you might have to just show me. Or draw it, if that'd work.

Permalink Mark Unread

Okay. He starts drawing.

Permalink Mark Unread

While she waits, she takes one of the other brushes and pokes at the portal to test that it works how she's expecting.

Permalink Mark Unread

That is so cool. Are you sure I can't learn?

Permalink Mark Unread

Yeah, she leans over and hugs him. Too dangerous. The Valar are working on it, though.

Permalink Mark Unread

And I'm getting more responsible and grownup.

Permalink Mark Unread

Mmhmm!

You did really well with your parent, yesterday, by the way. You were too distracted to notice but they really liked getting to spend time with you like that.

Permalink Mark Unread

He didn't seem sad or mad, he agrees, it was nice.

Permalink Mark Unread

Better than that, they were happy, see? She sends a brief memory of Finwë smiling down at Fëanáro.

Permalink Mark Unread

I'm not sure how you can tell. Anyway he wasn't happy with me he was just happy I wasn't embarrassing him.

Permalink Mark Unread

No, they were very definitely happy with you. I'm not sure why you can't tell, it's really obvious to me - I could see that they were paying attention to you, not anyone else around us, and it was the wrong kind of happy to be about not being embarrassed. I think they like you and don't know how to be around you without one or the other of you getting upset and were just really happy to get to do that.

Permalink Mark Unread

 

Maybe.

Permalink Mark Unread

Pretty sure.

 

Why do you think it wasn't?

Permalink Mark Unread

I just feel like being around me always makes him stressed and sad so probably this time wasn't different. 

Permalink Mark Unread

That, yeah, you're probably right. But stressed isn't the same as embarrassed; it just means they were expecting something bad to happen, it doesn't tell you anything about what or why all by itself. I think they'd figured out that trying to spend time with you always meant someone getting upset, and they were stressed about that, and it didn't have anything to do with you being embarrassing.

Permalink Mark Unread

Was I embarrassing?

Permalink Mark Unread

I don't think so. Hug! I think they might've been a little worried about how much you wiggle but when I explained that it's surprising for someone your age to be able to sit that long at all I think they understood - some things are hard when you're little, and I'm not sure they really understand that, and I'm not sure if my guess of why they might not is right or not, but I'll keep talking to them about it.

Permalink Mark Unread

Why is it you think they might not?

Permalink Mark Unread

Well, you haven't gotten to be around other kids a lot, right? Or at all, maybe; if you have friends you haven't mentioned them and I'd kind of expect you to have by now. And if your parent's parent raised them the same way they're raising you, and they didn't have a chance to be around other kids, they might not know what's normal and what's not because they just never had a chance to see it.

Permalink Mark Unread

I don't have any friends, people don't like me and I'm not allowed to leave anyway. My father was a kid thousands of years ago.

Permalink Mark Unread

I like you fine, Fëanáro, I think you're sweet. And you can leave with me - have you noticed that I'm mostly letting you pick where we go? - and I bet you could invite people to come here if you wanted to.

Permalink Mark Unread

Yeah I guess. You like me because you don't know anyone else, though.

Permalink Mark Unread

That's not even true, I know other people here and I don't like them all, plus all the people I knew back home that I can compare you to. And even if I didn't know anyone else here - do you really think I'd be acting like I have been if I didn't like you, if you stop and think about it?

Permalink Mark Unread

 

I'm not really sure. I guess you might avoid me? I avoid people I don't like.

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. Mmhmm. Or not even be close enough to need to avoid you; I could have gone and lived someplace else. But I didn't, because I want to be here, because I like you and want to see you be happy.

Permalink Mark Unread

Okay. Can we do fountains now?

Permalink Mark Unread

Sure. Are you done with your drawing?

Permalink Mark Unread

It shows the idea well enough.

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. Good.

And they go collect more bowls and head to the garden.

Permalink Mark Unread

He wants wood and unfinished ceramics and metal, too, to try to construct the tipping bowls.

Permalink Mark Unread

They can get those, too, it's not like she's going to stop him. She teleports the things to the garden as he points out what he wants.

Permalink Mark Unread

And then he'll start fiddling with designs for pitchers that tip when they get too full and racks to hold them.

Permalink Mark Unread

She watches, still not very clear on what he's trying to accomplish.

Permalink Mark Unread

Eventually he has enough working that he can demonstrate. The water flows out of a portal and fills a pitcher. When the pitcher gets too full, it tips. The basin below can do different things depending whether it's full of water, so the fountain changes behavior over time."

Permalink Mark Unread

Neat! She can also make it do different things depending on how full it is, if that helps.

Permalink Mark Unread

Yes!!! And he's not really using the portals to their full potential is he, can she think of anything better to do with them.

Permalink Mark Unread

Well, what she was thinking of was something more like having a portal in or near the pitcher and using some kind of scoop (she demonstrates with a spoon) to scoop water through the portal and into it, which means the pitcher can be moved, but she has no idea how to get the scoop set up to do that.

Permalink Mark Unread

Oooh! He can try to work that out, he likes the idea a lot.

Permalink Mark Unread

Cool!

She doesn't expect to be very much help with that and wants to go tell his parent about the new kind of spell; she doesn't expect it to take too long.

Permalink Mark Unread

He will probably not even notice, intent on his work as he is.

Permalink Mark Unread

Of course. She heads to the throne room.

Permalink Mark Unread

Finwe again beckons her forward when he's done speaking with someone.

Permalink Mark Unread

Hello, she bows. I've been working on a new kind of spell this morning, I thought you might want to see.

Permalink Mark Unread

Certainly! I didn't realize you could develop new ones.

Permalink Mark Unread

Not exactly, it's more like practicing different uses of a tool than anything else; there's this and the different method of targeting and I think that's all the major differences I have available, but there are plenty of minor things I can change about how my spells work and I'm sure I haven't noticed all the useful ones. Anyway, what I've been working on this morning is portals.

Permalink Mark Unread

That's lovely! Will all this be in your talk? I expect it'll fascinate people. What are portals?

Permalink Mark Unread

She chuckles. I'm not planning a talk on magic yet, but when I do, yeah. It'll be easier to show you than describe it - don't worry, the spell will be temporary. And she picks a section of wall with a tapestry next to it and puts a portal to the garden there. It's one-way, if you wanted to come back here by portal I'd have to cast a second spell, but it's safe to walk through. She demonstrates, then teleports back to the throne room.

Permalink Mark Unread

He beams at her. That's amazing! I am so impressed with you. People could use this to have entrances to houses in the city and houses far away if they want big ones, or ones on rivers....

Permalink Mark Unread

She grins and nods. Sure, anything like that. I do have to have been where the portal will lead in order to cast it, but that'll get easier as I go more places.

Permalink Mark Unread

Tirion is lucky to have you.

Permalink Mark Unread

She grins and dips her head demurely. I feel pretty lucky to be here.

 

There was another thing I wanted to talk to you about that's more... private? And I'm not sure if osanwë can do that, or how to if so.

Permalink Mark Unread

It can be directed at a person, usually by visualizing a space you and that person share which is otherwise private, though people use different mental metaphors.

Permalink Mark Unread

 

 

Is there a way to know if it's working?

Permalink Mark Unread

Unfortunately I can't think of one without a third person listening and mentioning if they notice anything.

Permalink Mark Unread

All right. Everything else about it has been straightforward, it's probably fine.

I was talking with Fëanáro earlier, and - I'm not actually sure they understand body language at all. I sent them a memory from yesterday - she sends it - and they didn't recognize that you were happy and didn't entirely believe me when I told them.

Permalink Mark Unread

He doesn't think about people much, I don't think. He prefers thinking about projects. More predictable.

Permalink Mark Unread

Yeah. But when they do think about people, they're also pretty anxious about them, and I think this is a big part of why - it's easier to tell when someone's angry or disappointed, people go out of their way to make sure people know they're feeling that way; if they're only ever seeing that and not ever seeing that people are happy with them... it explains a lot.

Permalink Mark Unread

He's a bit of a difficult kid. I don't think he has any deficiencies, he's just stubborn and wants to get his way. Brilliant, too, so he doesn't have much in common with most kids.

Permalink Mark Unread

 

 

 

If you're wrong about that it's going to hurt them, you know.

Permalink Mark Unread

I don't think I know what you mean, no.

Permalink Mark Unread

...and the way I usually think about this kind of thing doesn't translate, I tried that already. It's - yes, they're stubborn, but they're not just stubborn; yes, they want their own way, but everybody wants that. As far as I can tell they're legitimately doing the best they can; they do care about people, I've seen it. But they're isolating themselves, and if that was genuinely their choice it'd be one thing, but it's not, they've admitted that they're lonely; if when they try to connect with people they can't see that it's working, and can only see when it doesn't, of course they'll stop trying, but that doesn't mean they need the connection less, it just means they don't see a way to get it.

Permalink Mark Unread

What do you think should be done?

Permalink Mark Unread

Tell them you like them more. Not just what they're doing, them. It's going to be hard at first; they've been guessing at how people feel and a lot of the guesses are wrong and kind of insulting - pointing out how your actions support what you're saying might help, but it hasn't been very reliable so far, I'm working on it.

Permalink Mark Unread

Hmmm. Thank you for your advice.

Permalink Mark Unread

Her outward expression doesn't change at all as she sends the impression of a grin. You're welcome. The other thing is... be patient. This isn't something that's going to change right away and it's definitely not something you can change by demanding they do what you want, that'll only convince them that being around you is more trouble than it's worth. I wouldn't be surprised if this took a couple years at a koboldish pace, and I have no idea how the aging difference will affect it.

Permalink Mark Unread

That is not a problem at all. He looks very tired and sad. We have all the time in the world.

Permalink Mark Unread

Publicly: Thank you, that should help, and she approaches the throne, her body language showing relief and a bit of residual worry.

Privately, though, she sends, would you like to pet me?, and a memory of how soothing it is to do so.

Permalink Mark Unread

Is that considered appropriate among your people? he asks skeptically.

Permalink Mark Unread

Among tribemates, yes, it's not particularly familiar or anything. She sends more memories,of her approaching or being approached by various people and settling in to pet or be petted.

Permalink Mark Unread

He reaches out and cautiously scratches her. I wish you'd come here when my wife was alive. You would have liked her, she was very like our son.

Permalink Mark Unread

She smiles, a little sadly, and leans into the scritches. That would have been nice.

Permalink Mark Unread

Good for him, too. I don't know what to do, he needs a mother.

Permalink Mark Unread

Well, she's just a little hesitant, among kobolds, children start with one parent, and they adopt more from there if they want them - I know Quendi don't do that, and I don't think Fëanáro is actually thinking of me that way, but I'm feeling pretty adopted, and I'd have a hard time not taking that seriously even if I wanted to. So there's that, at least.

Permalink Mark Unread

Please do stick with him, even if he's difficult. It'll be hard on him if you don't.

Permalink Mark Unread

I really don't think they're that difficult. That might be me being a Speaker, though, we often end up seeing the difficult bits of people.

Permalink Mark Unread

And you haven't met any other Quendi children. And none of them have lost a parent, either.

Permalink Mark Unread

Yeah. For someone who's lost a parent they seem to be doing pretty well, though, at least for the moment.

Permalink Mark Unread

I am glad to hear it. For a long time he barely spoke to anyone and would run away if spoken to and when he did, he'd say awful things.

Permalink Mark Unread

She winces, just slightly. Yeah, that happens. It must have been hard, if you'd never had to deal with something like that before.

Permalink Mark Unread

It wasn't hard because of inexperience, it was just hard. Seeing him in so much pain and making it worse whatever we did -

Permalink Mark Unread

She sends a memory of a comforting hug.

Permalink Mark Unread

Thank you, dear. Vague distress at not having anything to call her. I am all right.

Permalink Mark Unread

She knows better than that, but she's not going to press the point. Okay.

She withdraws from the scritching, gently, and smiles appreciatively at him.

Permalink Mark Unread

He congratulates her again on the portals.

Permalink Mark Unread

And she thanks him and nudges the adjacent tapestry to break the portal spell and heads back to the garden.

Permalink Mark Unread

He's got tipping pitchers sort of working; he can scoop water with a water wheel on the other side moving the scoop but it's going to be tricky.

Permalink Mark Unread

It's still really impressive for as little time as he's been at it, and she tells him so. Would it help to have the water wheel interacting with the scoop from a different position? She can totally add more portals to the setup here.

Permalink Mark Unread

They can get it working! This is unsatisfactory, because it's not stunningly beautiful, but he claps his hands and bounces anyway.

Permalink Mark Unread

Hooray!

Now that they know what it needs to have to work, it'll be much easier to figure out what it needs to have to work and also be pretty, they don't have to do both things at once. How does he want to prettify it?

Permalink Mark Unread

He snaps at her in frustration because he has too many ideas and none of them are good enough.

Permalink Mark Unread

This gets him: a hug.

What are the ideas, and why do you think they aren't good enough?

Permalink Mark Unread

He sends mental images. 

Not pretty enough. They're stupid. No one will want them.

Permalink Mark Unread

Those look really pretty to me, but I am just a kobold. Maybe we could find someone to help you learn how to make things pretty?

Permalink Mark Unread

They'll think I'm stupid.

Permalink Mark Unread

They'll think you're little. Nobody's going to be surprised at you not knowing how to do things at your age, and even adults don't know how to do everything - I'm going to be looking for someone to help me learn to paint, sooner or later, and I don't expect anyone to think badly of me for not already knowing how.

Permalink Mark Unread

What if I don't learn very fast? What if I don't impress them?

Permalink Mark Unread

Nothing, probably? A good teacher won't mind if you go at your own pace; that's the best way to learn.

Permalink Mark Unread

Thinking people might think I'm stupid or not very good feels awful.

Permalink Mark Unread

I don't think anyone's going to think you're stupid, and not being very good at things is why people go to teachers in the first place, so they'll be used to that and won't think badly of you because of it. But it might still be scary if you can't tell they're not doing that, yeah - would it help if I met some teachers first and picked one I thought would be good for you, and if you had a chance to get to know them first?

Permalink Mark Unread

I need to study from whoever's the best, or how would they know if I'm any good?

Permalink Mark Unread

I dunno, you seem to have an idea of what's good and what's not, and you're not the very best yet. And anyway, you can learn from more than one person - that's how kobolds do it, we learn by ourselves and from our tribemates and then if we want to learn more than that we wait for a meetup and find someone better to learn from. You could do something like that here, it might make it easier for you to learn from someone who's really good without worrying what they'll think of you if you're already pretty good yourself when you start with them.

Permalink Mark Unread

...maybe. But what if they teach me it wrong so I get worse? Or if the other person only thinks I'm any good because I had help?

Permalink Mark Unread

There's nothing wrong with having help, Fëanáro. You're still the one doing the learning.

Permalink Mark Unread

If I were smart enough I wouldn't need it.

Permalink Mark Unread

Squeeze. Really? 'Cause as far as I know everybody learns from other people, no matter how smart they are. You probably could figure out everything from nothing, if you really wanted to, but why would you take the time to do that when other people can just show you?

Permalink Mark Unread

It'd be less real if I just got showed things and didn't think of them. Wouldn't mean I'm smart.

Permalink Mark Unread

Maybe, I guess. But letting people show you things doesn't mean you're not smart, it just means you're doing things a faster way that doesn't show whether you are or not. And doing things the faster way means you'll understand how to do things sooner and can do impressive things sooner, which sounds like it's what you really want here.

Permalink Mark Unread

Yeah, I do. Okay.

Permalink Mark Unread

She grins and gives him another squeeze. Do you have an idea of what you'd like to learn first?

Permalink Mark Unread

Metalworking. You can do so much with it.

Permalink Mark Unread

Sounds good, I'll see what I can do. And what do you want to do with this for now? She gestures at the prototype.

Permalink Mark Unread

I suppose we should disassemble it so the materials aren't wasted.

Permalink Mark Unread

If you want. Or if you want to put it someplace so we have it to look at later, we could do that - it might take you a while to learn enough metalworking to make another one.

Permalink Mark Unread

Yeah, maybe, but I can't put it in my room, it's too ugly, it'd keep me up.

Permalink Mark Unread

How about a storage room?

Permalink Mark Unread

I guess. People will be annoyed if I do that too much.

Permalink Mark Unread

That's kinda weird. I could teleport it to my old cave, but then you wouldn't be able to get it back without me, a storage room would be better if we can use one.

Permalink Mark Unread

We can. We just shouldn't clutter it or be wasteful. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. All right, let's go find a place, and I can teleport it there.

 

What else would you like to do today?

Permalink Mark Unread

He shows her a storage room. Keep working on the fountain, of course!

Permalink Mark Unread

She grins. All right.

Back to the garden, where they can work on the other parts of the fountain. Eventually, they have it set up to the point where the water mostly isn't going anywhere unexpected, and the kobold gets her notes to go over while Fëanáro keeps working.

Permalink Mark Unread

He takes a while to notice, but eventually - preparing for your talk?

Permalink Mark Unread

Mmhmm. Want to see what I have so far?

Permalink Mark Unread

Sure. You draw things to remember them?

Permalink Mark Unread

Yup. My memory is pretty good but mostly for things I've seen and heard, not as much for things I've thought about, so this helps with that. She puts away the notes she was transcribing from and picks up the sheet she was transcribing to, with its columns of little sketches. I'll probably do one in string, to have for the talk itself, this is good to memorize from but might be a little distracting while I'm there.

Permalink Mark Unread

In string? I talk to myself so I can remember what I'm thinking.

Permalink Mark Unread

She nods. How I'd do it in string is like this: these are the main topics - she gestures across the top row of pictures - and then these are the things I want to remember to talk about within those main topics - each column under them - and each of those gets a knot in the string, with bigger knots for more important things or things with topics within them. I still have to memorize what the knots mean, but then I can hold the whole thing in my hand while I'm talking and it'll help me remember what I wanted to talk about, and I can still watch everyone while I'm doing it to see what they think of what I'm saying.

Permalink Mark Unread

Huh. I haven't given talks but I don't think I'd forget what to say, exactly. More like how to get it through to people, that's what's hard for me.

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. Maybe you can come up with a way to draw that? I think seeing how people are reacting is more important to me than to you anyway, you might not mind having a drawing to keep looking at.

Permalink Mark Unread

Yeah, I will just get nervous if I try to guess what they think because I'll guess they're thinking what I think.

Permalink Mark Unread

Hug. Yeah, guessing what people might be thinking is a bad idea, what I do isn't guessing.

Permalink Mark Unread

It's just nice guessing. You decide something nice and guess that.

Permalink Mark Unread

It's really not - one of the things I do a lot of is notice when people are sad or angry or scared and do something about it so they aren't any more, I couldn't do that if I was just guessing people were happy all the time.

Permalink Mark Unread

Not that they're happy, that they're nice.

Permalink Mark Unread

I'm not guessing that, either.

Here's a way I could probably show you - next time we go watch some debates, I can usually tell how those are going to end before they do, who's going to win or if it's going to end in a different way than somebody winning is pretty obvious from their body language even though I can't understand most of what they're saying.

Permalink Mark Unread

That's bad, though, it means people are choosing winners off stupid irrelevant things.

Permalink Mark Unread

Not really? Most of how I can tell is by watching how the people debating feel about their own and the other person's points, if someone makes a good point and they and the other person know it that usually means they're going to win. Sometimes it's other things - sometimes someone has a good point but just isn't good enough at talking about it - but usually it's that.

Permalink Mark Unread

You can tell that just by looking at people?

Permalink Mark Unread

Mmhmm. It's mostly a kobold thing, I haven't met anyone here yet who's very good at it at all, but I can do that.

Permalink Mark Unread

Okay.

He turns back to his fountain.

Permalink Mark Unread

And she goes back to her notes for a while; eventually she puts them away.

I'm going to go for a walk, do you want any spells before I go?

Permalink Mark Unread

I think I should have enough to make this work, he says frustratedly.

Permalink Mark Unread

Something not working?

Permalink Mark Unread

Well, it's not good enough yet, is it?

Permalink Mark Unread

I dunno, is it? It's your fountain, you're the one who decides that.

Permalink Mark Unread

It's not good enough yet. But it will be. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Grin, hug, mmhmm.

Are there any spells you might want? I'm probably going to be gone until dinnertime.

Permalink Mark Unread

Sure...and he asks for a few.

Permalink Mark Unread

And she casts them and heads out.

First stop is the linguistics guild, where she finds a nice out-of-the-way corner to sit in for a while.

Permalink Mark Unread

No one bothers her, though it's quite busy. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Good.

Eventually, she heads out to have a look at the surrounding area. It's still a little overwhelming, but if she takes it at her own pace she's mostly okay.

Permalink Mark Unread

And word seems to have spread not to harass or pressure her; she isn't handed anything in the streets.

Permalink Mark Unread

This helps tremendously. She will have to remember to thank that one guy when she sees him next.

She window-shops for a while, keeping an eye out for things of interest - hats of a type that might keep the light out of her eyes, painting supplies, shiny things that might be worked into a fountain design. She doesn't go into any of the shops, though.

Permalink Mark Unread

There are options for all of those but particular lots of shiny things. Tirion likes shiny things.

Permalink Mark Unread

She notes their locations, and then heads to the city gates - there's one more thing she wants to do for herself today. She leaves the city, heading along the path to Aulë's cave. Someplace that's made might not follow quite the same rules as a place that formed naturally, but if it does, there should be a river or at least a stream over this way...

Permalink Mark Unread

There is a river! It's pretty and clear and moving quickly.

Permalink Mark Unread

Not ideal, but she can just teleport out if she gets swept somewhere dangerous. She wades in, splashes around near the bank for a bit until she's thoroughly soaked and happier about the state of her fur, then swims out and lets the current catch her.

Permalink Mark Unread

None of the rivers in Valinor move at speeds dangerous to Elves, though kobolds are different. It's a nice temperature, too.

Permalink Mark Unread

She's comfortable in the water, but probably not as strong of a swimmer as an elf, just because she's, well, not as strong. But she's used to dangerous waterways, and has no trouble avoiding potential problems as they appear, with plenty of attention left over for watching the riverbanks. What pretty trees! What nice bushes! What beautiful flowers! How relaxing this all is!

She's careful not to lose track of the time, and when it starts to get late, she maneuvers herself to the bank and makes herself a flower crown, then teleports to King's Square to get dinner for herself and Fëanáro.

Permalink Mark Unread

Is she looking for things she's had before, or new ones, because people will shove lots of both at her. 

Permalink Mark Unread

 

She accepts both, and tries to hold out for her favorites without ending up with a ridiculous amount of food or feeling like she's being rude to anyone, and only mostly succeeds. Quendi! Such friendly people.

Garden next, how's Fëanáro?

Permalink Mark Unread

Still at work! The fountain is going to be stunning, and he's clinging to a tree branch trying to get a better angle on something.

Permalink Mark Unread

She chuckles, quietly so as not to disturb him, and starts in on her dinner.

Permalink Mark Unread

A while later he asks her for some more teleports for the fountain.

Permalink Mark Unread

Sure, she nods agreeably, and gestures to the food she set aside for him. Have something to eat while I'm working on them.

Permalink Mark Unread

Wanna watch, I'm not very hungry.

Permalink Mark Unread

You can eat and watch at the same time, she points out, but then closes her eyes and begins casting.

Permalink Mark Unread

He does that, reluctantly, definitely watching more than eating. Please can I learn? Pretty please?

Permalink Mark Unread

As soon as it's safe, yup.

Permalink Mark Unread

When's it going to be safe?

Permalink Mark Unread

I'm not sure. Aulë said it might be a while, they have to talk to the other Valar about it. Hopefully not too long, though, they know you're waiting.

Permalink Mark Unread

The Valar think so slow about everything.

Permalink Mark Unread

Oh?

Permalink Mark Unread

They think about things for Years, they're really slow.

Permalink Mark Unread

Oh, huh. I didn't know about that.

I need to go talk to Aulë again soon anyway, maybe I can speed that up some.

Permalink Mark Unread

Or you could just teach me anyway.

Permalink Mark Unread

Nope. Too dangerous.

Permalink Mark Unread

I don't care. I am okay with taking the risk.

Permalink Mark Unread

Yeah, I know. But you're not the only one who has a say in that decision; I'd be responsible for it, too, and I'm not okay with taking the risk.

Permalink Mark Unread

How would you get hurt?

Permalink Mark Unread

Well, for one thing, you'd probably die, and I'd be really upset if you died at all and especially upset if it was because of something I'd done...

Permalink Mark Unread

But I'd get to see my mom again!

Permalink Mark Unread

That doesn't mean I wouldn't be upset about it, though.

Permalink Mark Unread

But you shouldn't get to stop me from doing all dangerous things just because they'd make you sad.

Permalink Mark Unread

Right, and I won't try to stop you if that's the only reason, but that doesn't mean I'm going to help you do them if it'd hurt me to do that. And it isn't the only reason, anyway, my magic can be dangerous to other people, too, even by accident if you do something with it without thinking about how it could affect people.

Permalink Mark Unread

I wouldn't. I'd be so, so careful.

Permalink Mark Unread

Sigh. I'll think about it.

Permalink Mark Unread

I can be careful about a different thing so you can see how careful I am?

Permalink Mark Unread

That might help, if I can think of something that needs the right kind of carefulness. But that's not the only thing I'm worried about; if you learn magic before it's safe, people might be scared of you, and I don't think that'd be very good for you. And that's not the kind of thing you can fix by being careful for a little while.

Permalink Mark Unread

People wouldn't be scared of me.

Permalink Mark Unread

They would if they knew what my magic can do. Remember we talked about hexes? My magic is kind of scary.

Permalink Mark Unread

But Quendi aren't like the people in your world and don't do awful things.

Permalink Mark Unread

Maybe. I'll think about it.

Permalink Mark Unread

It's so pretty and I want to know how.

Permalink Mark Unread

I know. But just because you want it doesn't mean it's a good idea. That's kind of what being careful is all about.

Permalink Mark Unread

I'm really careful when it's important.

Permalink Mark Unread

Sure. But if I make a mistake with this, I can't take it back. So I'm going to think about it first.

Permalink Mark Unread

I could swear to stop using it?

Permalink Mark Unread

...I don't know what that is.

Permalink Mark Unread

If you promise you can't break your promise. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Can't like can't? That sounds dangerous. What happens if you try?

Permalink Mark Unread

...nothing? Since you can't?

Permalink Mark Unread

Wow. Yeah, don't do that.

Permalink Mark Unread

But then you could tell me!

Permalink Mark Unread

That's kind of proof that I shouldn't, though, if you're seriously thinking about doing something more dangerous to try to get it instead of being careful and waiting.

Permalink Mark Unread

I don't understand what you mean. It's not dangerous. It just means I wouldn't do it.

Permalink Mark Unread

It's dangerous in kind of the same way a hex is dangerous - it's something you can't control, that limits you. What if someday you need to be able to use my magic, once it's safe?

Permalink Mark Unread

What if I need to use it now, and you haven't taught me?

Permalink Mark Unread

There's not nearly as much chance of that happening in the next few years as there is of it happening sometime in the whole rest of your life afterward.

Permalink Mark Unread

I could promise not to use it until it's safe and you'd have taught me anyway, then.

Permalink Mark Unread

She considers, and then sighs.

I want to talk to an adult who knows more about swearing, first - your parent, maybe. And I'm not sure I'll be able to even if they agree; it was possible to share my magic by accident, and when I asked Aulë to fix it they made it so I couldn't share it at all, so I'll have to get their help to give it to you. But if it works how you're saying... yeah, that's probably okay.

Permalink Mark Unread

I really want to learn.

Permalink Mark Unread

I know. She goes and hugs him. But I don't want anything bad to happen to you.

Permalink Mark Unread

Learning is more important to me than being safe.

Permalink Mark Unread

Sigh, snuggle. If this were a different kind of dangerous that'd be less of a problem.

Permalink Mark Unread

What kind of dangerous?

Permalink Mark Unread

The kind where you die if you do it wrong. If I taught you now and you actually tried practicing it, you'd have to practice every day and break all your spells, every day, for half a year, and not forget any of them, because if you did they might kill you. And not cast on any people, at all, nobody, for half a year, because if you cast on a person you can't break that spell, and it might kill you.

Permalink Mark Unread

You didn't have to do it that way!

Permalink Mark Unread

Yeah, I didn't. But I don't have a way to let you learn the way I learned. Maybe that's what the Valar are going to do.

Permalink Mark Unread

I hope so. Do most people who learn magic die?

Permalink Mark Unread

Most people don't - it happens sometimes but it's pretty rare. But most people learn with safer magic, and from mages who have spells that let them see magic so they can make sure their students don't forget about any of their spells, and as adults so they have an easier time being patient and not forgetting anything.

Permalink Mark Unread

And even if the Valar can't make it safer I can learn when I'm an adult?

Permalink Mark Unread

If they can't make it safe they might not let me teach anyone at all. But Aulë really wants people to be able to learn it, and they didn't seem to think there'd be a problem, just that it would take a while.

Permalink Mark Unread

If he said a while I'll be grown by the time he gets around to it.

Permalink Mark Unread

Sorry. I'll ask if there's anything I can do to help them go faster, but I have no idea if it works that way.

Permalink Mark Unread

I just hate not knowing things and not knowing how I can fix that.

Permalink Mark Unread

Hug. Does it help to keep in mind that not being able to learn this isn't your fault at all? 'Cause it really isn't.

Permalink Mark Unread

No because if I were better I could learn it.

Permalink Mark Unread

She frowns, and projects a little bit of her dissatisfaction along with her words. When Aulë and I decided to do it that way it didn't have anything to do with how good you are or aren't.

Permalink Mark Unread

But you might have taught it to me before then if I seemed very careful and good.

Permalink Mark Unread

I wouldn't've, though. I've seen people die, learning magic, I don't want to do that again at all.

Permalink Mark Unread

How do they die? How do you even know Quendi'd die? We might not!

Permalink Mark Unread

Every species in my world has the same problems with learning magic, there's no reason to think it'd be different here. And even if I wasn't sure I'd want to be careful.

Permalink Mark Unread

How do you know? Have you seen them all learn it?

Permalink Mark Unread

Not personally, but one of the other speakers knows a lot of lore from other places. And I'd still want to be careful if I didn't know that.

Permalink Mark Unread

 

 

Yeah. 

He sighs.