She knows, she knows that it's safe when her beloveds both sleep - that they can read nothing while they dream - but every thought is so relentlessly punished when the demon is awake, and the parts of her mind that generate thoughts have stopped trying. She focuses, when she can come up with anything worth focusing on, or just on breathing or clouds or a tree, as much as she can. The demon "hyperfocuses" on gentle thoughtless love, as much as he can. She sleeps too, as much as she can. And none of these solutions lead to her having thoughts.
There's not enough thinking left for her to register much horror about it. But there are parts of her remaining. Automatic reactions to things, that can pass from her memories through her actions without her intervening much at all on the level of consciousness. She has enough terror of oblivion in her not to look contemplatively at knives. She has enough of an echo of what it used to mean to her to love someone to ache inside if her beloved thinks of harming himself, to beg him not to. She has enough access to her own memories to recognize the strange door, the second time it presents itself to her, and to go in without fear, holding her book and her pen that she has no real reason to carry anymore but holds out of old affection the way a child slightly too old for a stuffed toy may clutch at it.
The blank book is no good to her anymore, but it feels good to hold it, and she does.
The door may not take her far enough away from her beloved to protect her if he wakes while she is there, but it is somewhere to go and sit and wait for her thousand-year span to elapse, and she enters.
He's sitting on a couch by the fire, and his eyes are closed so he hasn't noticed her.
"Goddesses all. Okay. Elfbell. I know thinking must be - agonizingly hard right now - but you need to answer just a few questions - okay? If we can fix it, can you put yourself back together - if we can magic the mindreading away and you're safe and private in your own head for forever - can you fix it?"
"But maybe? Okay. We're not short on time for you, if you can do it then we will find a place to put you that's safe and you can work on it there, okay, we will take care of you - there are ten of us and we are okay - will you trust us to decide things for you till you're put back together?"
"Okay. We'll talk to them," says Amariah. "We'll figure something out with them. We'll have to talk to them - can you take us through the door to where they are? And then if you wake them up I can send you to sleep, and keep you that way, until everything's fixed, will that be all right?"
[This,] Amariah tells her sweeties as she follows them to the door, [is a disaster. I think we should bring in all the Bells - maybe all the Jokers - when we get there; this isn't like Shell Bell where she had a stable version of herself to do the steering, we don't have one of this exact instance.]
"My name is Isabella Amariah. You can call me Amariah. I'm an alternate version of her. There are nine more of us all from under different burning suns, and more of you, too. I can bring them here, or we can all meet somewhere else, and we will try to help her. She said to consult you." Her aura, in addition to announcing that she's a witch and powerful, is emanating anxious concern (for Isibel) and controlled, wary anger (at the demon; she does not know yet if it's justified or not so it has yet to be slain).
"I don't know exactly. Magic. I don't know what kind of magic you have working here but we've got a few kinds of our own and we might be able to - wall her off from you somehow," says Amariah, the anger subsiding. "Or - well, anyway, we'll want to all work on this together, the last time one of us got broken she'd also been split into two and one of her was fine so she could manage by herself but there's not an extra of this one, is there?"
"I have three kinds. We need you to explain what it is that is going on that hurts her. And tell us what she wants, when we don't know for sure, because goddesses know she can't. So we know how to take it apart and let her out. I'm going to tell the others now," she adds. [Jane.]