« Back
Generated:
Post last updated:
hormonal imbalance
Permalink Mark Unread
They study Klingon. They work out a sleep schedule. They approach Betazed.

They are two days away from the system when Isabella notices something - troubling.

She takes longer than usual to compose herself that morning, and emerges from the living quarters with carefully measured steps, and avoids eye contact.

"Do you," she asks Lalita quietly, "have the ability to fly this class of ship?"
Permalink Mark Unread

"...Yes," he says. "Is something wrong?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"I have discovered an unexpected need to spend the next seven days meditating. I do not wish to delay you. You have my permission to operate the Prometheus, dock at Betazed, and depart while I am in meditation."

Permalink Mark Unread

"...Is there any chance you're going to tell me why you—did you say seven days?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"...That is the number of days, yes."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Would you maybe like to explore other options," he says. "Other than spending seven days meditating."

Permalink Mark Unread

She swallows. She looks away. "My - my judgment is compromised at this time, please do not - make insinuations if you do not mean them, I will eventually regain my, my usual faculties and do not wish to do anything I will regret."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I mean all my insinuations."

Permalink Mark Unread

An indelicate full-body shudder ensues. "I have - somewhere, written down, a - I spend a great deal of time away from other Vulcans, I hoped to avoid this but knew I could not be sure, I have - a speech of sorts prepared." She reaches for her temple, winds up with one hand clenched in her hair as she teeters towards the computer and goes looking for the file.

Permalink Mark Unread

Lalita steps back to give her some space.

Permalink Mark Unread
She finds what she's looking for eventually, with considerable fidgeting, fumbling, and lip-biting.

Her speech of sorts opens with common knowledge about pon farr, of which none is new to anyone who can identify the phenomenon merely by virtue of "an unexpected need to meditate for seven days". And then: "If I am reading this speech then I have not found myself among the lucky half-Vulcans who evade the problem entirely, and have instead fallen prey to the unpredictable timing that affects those of us who do experience this phenomenon. I was not betrothed in childhood, and even if I had been, my intended would almost certainly have died when Vulcan was destroyed. I am prepared to address the issue with meditation and medication, but this would be at some risk to my life; exact figures regarding how much risk are unreliable due to the rarity of half-Vulcan half-humans. If, given the kindness of another person, I opt for the traditional satisfaction of the hormonal imbalance, there is no guarantee I will have the wherewithal to comprehend, let alone abide by, a change of mind during the process, which should be understood before beginning. Regarding practical matters - I will not regard assistance during this time as any sort of ongoing commitment - I am fitted with a contraceptive implant -" She trails off; there's a bit of formal thank-you-for-your-time language at the end but she's apparently opted to skip it in favor of scrunching her eyes shut and trembling violently. If she has any of the Vulcan emotional suppression, it's not helping her much now.
Permalink Mark Unread
"I understand," says Lalita. "And the offer's still good."

He takes a step toward her.
Permalink Mark Unread

"Nnng, computer, park," says Isabella, and over the sound of the Prometheus acknowledging her and dropping out of warp so that they don't crash into Betazed while distracted, she pounces on him like he is - literally - a lifeline.

Permalink Mark Unread
He catches her, wraps her up in his arms, and gives her a kiss.

They should be in fewer clothes right now. He can help with that.
Permalink Mark Unread
He is so helpful.

Technically Isabella is no longer in danger of death after having convinced her body that she has located a mate, but that doesn't mean the hormones recede instantly. That will take the full week.
Permalink Mark Unread
He is very helpful! And if he has any say in the matter - which he does - it's going to be a fun week.

They probably aren't going to make it all the way to the living quarters the first time. So: floor, or captain's chair? Which one will it be?
Permalink Mark Unread

Isabella is in no condition to be picky.

Permalink Mark Unread

Floor it is.

Permalink Mark Unread
Yes. This floor will eminently do the job of not allowing them to float off into the vacuum while they become one hundred percent less dressed.

The sensation of not being going to die is, when it appears, like a punch to the gut in the best possible way. This might be a stupid way to design a species, but it is not without some advantages.
Permalink Mark Unread

And Lalita is not just doing this out of selfless generosity. Isabella is delightful, and he would happily have sex with her for a week even if it wasn't a lifesaving measure.

Permalink Mark Unread

That will make her feel better about the whole business after she sobers up. For the time being all she needs to be aware of about him is that he's present and is her mate. (For the time being.)

Permalink Mark Unread

Oh, but he aspires to be so much more than just present.

Permalink Mark Unread

His aspirations are well, if incoherently, received!

Permalink Mark Unread

Good! That is just how he likes them to be.

Permalink Mark Unread

Possibly she will produce more detailed compliments later. In the meantime she can take advantage of the fact that in space no one can hear you scream.

Permalink Mark Unread
One person can.

He chooses to take it as encouragement.
Permalink Mark Unread

It is absolutely meant that way.

Permalink Mark Unread
Good.

Eventually one or both of them might need to sleep, but for now, they haven't nearly finished making use of this floor.
Permalink Mark Unread

Isabella can go without sleep for a week! She does this by default when there are interesting things to accomplish! This is such a thing. It is an open question whether she could sleep if she tried at the moment.

Permalink Mark Unread
Lalita would probably have trouble getting to sleep if he tried it at this exact second.

A few hours later, though - maybe if they make it all the way to the living quarters of the ship - he might give it a shot.
Permalink Mark Unread

Isabella will allow it. As long as he doesn't try to go anywhere she can just as easily wrap herself around him and hold still by way of reminding herself that she has successfully found a mate and is not going to die.

Permalink Mark Unread

In that case, after about six hours of various exertions, during which time they do indeed make it to the bed, he curls up and wraps his arms around her and tucks his face into her shoulder and naps for a while.

Permalink Mark Unread

Snuggles. Not-going-to-die-ness. Eventually he will wake up! That will be nice.

Permalink Mark Unread
Snuggles! It is a snuggly nap. Those are one of the best kinds.

Eventually, he does wake up, and immediately kisses her.
Permalink Mark Unread

Saying she goes from zero to warp instantly would imply that she is capable of being not at metaphorical warp right now, which is false, but kisses increase metaphorical warp factor.

Permalink Mark Unread
It's possible Lalita might need a few minutes to get his metaphorical warp core fired up.

Or not.

It could also be much sooner than that.
Permalink Mark Unread

It's good if it is sooner than that. Isabella is impatient. She found a mate and now she wants to make use of this exciting finding.

Permalink Mark Unread

It is sooner than that.

Permalink Mark Unread

Oh good. Oh very good.

Permalink Mark Unread

Mm. Metaphorical warp travel.

Permalink Mark Unread

Mmmmmmmmmmm.

Permalink Mark Unread

And snuggles. Those too. He's still a little sleepy; it makes him slow and cuddly and affectionate.

Permalink Mark Unread

Hmmm. Slow. Well, that is okay now that the most urgent portions of the week are taken care of.

Permalink Mark Unread

And slow can be fun too.

Permalink Mark Unread

Isabella is willing to be convinced of this.

Permalink Mark Unread

Lalita is willing to be convincing!

Permalink Mark Unread

He is so convincing. Mmmm.

Permalink Mark Unread
Good!

And after they've been at it for a while maybe they can go back to being - not slow.
Permalink Mark Unread

That is absolutely welcome and appreciated and encouraged.

Permalink Mark Unread

Lalita has not even begun to run out of fun new things to try.

Permalink Mark Unread

He has a willing experimental partner!

Permalink Mark Unread

He's not exactly taking detailed lab notes on their successes, but he does have a very good memory. And of course successful experiments should be repeated. For science. The science of fun.

Permalink Mark Unread

They have all the time in the - well, not all the time in the world, but all the time in a week!

Permalink Mark Unread
They do have all the time in the week. Except for the parts they might spend sleeping, or eating, or grooming themselves.

Lalita does not plan to spend very much time doing those things.
Permalink Mark Unread

Neither does Isabella. Insofar as "plan" is even the word. Her father's species evolved in a desert; she can do without much intake of anything over the course of a week, whether "anything" is a stand-in for "sleep" or "water" or "food". Over this amount of time those needs just aren't going to be competitive with the main one.

Permalink Mark Unread

Well, at some point during this wake phase - maybe in a few hours - Lalita is going to suggest food. He can go for a week without it, but he'd rather not.

Permalink Mark Unread

She'll let him eat. If he really must. She'll just be half in his lap eyeing him while he does it.

Permalink Mark Unread

She can be all in his lap if she'd rather!

Permalink Mark Unread

Okay!

Permalink Mark Unread
Mmm, snuggly lapful. Mmm, food.

Does snuggly lapful want any food?
Permalink Mark Unread

She'll have nibbles. Of food, even. Some fraction of nibbles will be of food.

Permalink Mark Unread
That is entirely acceptable.



No more food!

Now just snuggly lapful.

Whatever shall they do?
Permalink Mark Unread

How about the extremely obvious thing? They can do that!

Permalink Mark Unread

They can absolutely do that. They can do lots of that.

Permalink Mark Unread

Good. Isabella really needs to do lots of that right now.

Permalink Mark Unread
Mmmmmmmmmmmmm.



Time passes. They do the obvious thing. Occasionally Lalita partakes of food or sleep or water. Mostly he partakes of Isabella.
Permalink Mark Unread
He is soooo welcome to partake of her.

Sometimes she touches his face, but then she makes a brief confused expression like she doesn't know why she's doing that, and stops, and resumes whatever else they are up to at the time.
Permalink Mark Unread
One of those times, he catches her hand on its retreat and kisses her fingertips.

"Mm?"
Permalink Mark Unread

"Keep almost - telepathing you," she murmurs, squirming.

Permalink Mark Unread

"You can if you want," he murmurs back.

Permalink Mark Unread

She slides her hand over his face and kisses him and reaches out for his mind.

Permalink Mark Unread

His mind is full of kisses. And warmth and joy and affection and Isabella, a kind of generalized appreciation for every facet of her existence.

Permalink Mark Unread

Oooh. Oooooooooh. It would be pretty much impossible for her to be more all over him than she was a minute ago, but she will try very hard.

Permalink Mark Unread

Now he also has specific appreciations!

Permalink Mark Unread
Yummy.

It's easiest to establish contact with hand-to-face, but she can maintain it with any touch, and he has not shown much inclination to make that difficult.
Permalink Mark Unread

Lalita will be happy to maintain physical contact for the rest of the week if that's what she prefers. Possibly excluding visits to the bathroom.

Permalink Mark Unread

She can always reestablish as necessary.

Permalink Mark Unread

Mm. Good. He likes broadcasting his many appreciations.

Permalink Mark Unread
She likes collecting them!

She's not as good at sending - actually, her only unusual talent in this matter is blocking people from peering into her thoughts - but she can do a little. As feedback.
Permalink Mark Unread

Ooh, feedback. He appreciates feedback.

Permalink Mark Unread

He can have lots, especially if he does lovely things with it!

Permalink Mark Unread

Of course he does.

Permalink Mark Unread
Good good good good. Lovely things.

Her excess hormones are, in the background, winding down their cycle.
Permalink Mark Unread
Yes. Lalita can tell.

(He recognized pon farr from experience.)
Permalink Mark Unread
That is interesting! Isabella is interested in this fact when she finds it.

When the last of her little problem is out of her system, she is abruptly no longer impelled to stay awake. She drops her head onto his chest and falls instantly asleep.

She talks in her sleep, in a mix of her native languages.
Permalink Mark Unread
That is sweet. He snuggles her for a little while.

But he's slept a lot more recently than she has, and now that they're not having near-continuous sex, he thinks maybe it's time to check on their navigation. He gets out of bed, attends to his badly neglected personal grooming, and then heads for the captain's chair to use the ship's computer.
Permalink Mark Unread

They are parked in interstellar space. There is a course entered to Betazed, ready to resume whenever the order is entered; it will take them another two days to get there at reasonable warp. The proximity alarm is operative and will beep at them if any debris or hails or distress signals make their way to the Prometheus.

Permalink Mark Unread
He double-checks the navigational calculations on the course to Betazed. He uploads his collection of Klingon operas to the ship's library.

He daydreams. Idly, he looks at files in the temp folder where he stored the intermediate numbers for his navigation checks.
Permalink Mark Unread

There they are, behind some minor encryption, along with a few drafts of Isabella's personal files: diaries with dates, "processing" files, a text file entitled "polarbear".

Permalink Mark Unread
Breaking minor encryption is not much more of an effort than breathing. He barely notices he's doing it.

The diaries are obviously personal, but what about the polar bear?
Permalink Mark Unread

The polar bear file appears to be the first half of an essay of unpopular, pseudonymous political opinions.

Permalink Mark Unread
...That wakes him up.

He closes the file and restores all the encryption.
Permalink Mark Unread

Isabella goes on sleeping, peacefully oblivious, uttering nouns. She's on a string of Vulcan plants at the moment.

Permalink Mark Unread

Lalita snuggles up again.

Permalink Mark Unread
Snuggles!

Isabella has been awake for a week; she sleeps for fourteen hours. Then she wakes up, rested, clear-headed, and stark naked with very tangled hair.

She sits up slowly and looks around her, organizing her memories of the last seven days.
Permalink Mark Unread

In the interim, Lalita has gone back to sleep, for his first full six hours since the week began; he is curled up next to her, also stark naked.

Permalink Mark Unread

Okay then. She'll pick out an outfit, quietly, and take it into the bathroom, and take a shower, and come out wearing it, and then resume course for Betazed.

Permalink Mark Unread
Lalita wakes up just as she is doing the last thing.

He puts on a pair of trousers and goes to see what she's up to.
Permalink Mark Unread

"Hello," says Isabella. "And thank you."

Permalink Mark Unread

"You're very welcome."

Permalink Mark Unread

Her cheeks go a little green at that. "We'll be there in just under two days."

Permalink Mark Unread

"You blushed!" he observes delightedly.

Permalink Mark Unread

"That is physiologically possible," she says delicately, "but I can neither confirm nor deny, lacking a mirror."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Does that mean you don't want to have sex again?"

Permalink Mark Unread
She blinks.

"I - had given the question no thought."
Permalink Mark Unread

"Well, think about it. We have two more days," he laughs.

Permalink Mark Unread

"I may be worn out. I can look you up in seven years," she suggests, "presuming I still don't have a designated mate at the time."

Permalink Mark Unread

"All right."

Permalink Mark Unread

Speaking of which, she makes a note in her calendar for the relevant projected date. Now that she's had one, she can predict the others and make arrangements for them in advance.

Permalink Mark Unread

Lalita sits down in the copilot's chair.

Permalink Mark Unread

Isabella seems inclined to adopt a policy of Not Necessarily Ever Speaking Of It Again For At Least Seven Years.

Permalink Mark Unread
Perhaps he should go put on a shirt, then.

(He doesn't.)
Permalink Mark Unread
She's not going to comment on his state of dress.

She pokes around in her files, looking for what to read next; she finished the novel she was reading while he was sleeping the other day. She can't work on her essay or her diary with a passenger supervising, but it's not that urgent -

She peers at the access date on her essay.

She peers at Lalita.
Permalink Mark Unread

He peers back!

Permalink Mark Unread

"The access date for one of my files suggests that it was opened recently."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Oh, that." He shrugs. "I was curious. I closed it when I'd seen enough to know I shouldn't be looking."

Permalink Mark Unread

"It was encrypted."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Yeah, I noticed that after I read it," he says with a wry smile.

Permalink Mark Unread

"...Are you saying you accidentally hacked into my files?"

Permalink Mark Unread

He laughs and shakes his head. "Yeah. That's what I'm saying."

Permalink Mark Unread

"How does that happen?"

Permalink Mark Unread
He taps his fingertips against his lips, thinking hard about something.

Then he shrugs, and looks at her, and says: "Genetic engineering."
Permalink Mark Unread

Permalink Mark Unread

"I'm—what is it, 2269? I'm two hundred and seventy-four years old," he says. "I was born in 1995. You seem pretty well-informed; I'm sure you can fill in a lot of the blanks yourself. That's why I soak up languages like a sponge - I know a lot more than thirty. That's why I can break medium-tight encryptions while daydreaming. I had to learn to crack a few things so I could muddle my data trails; I can pass for anything from early twenties to mid-fifties, but that still means I have to cycle identities every thirty years."

Permalink Mark Unread

"And now you're telling me this because you read my polarbear essay and you don't think I'll turn you in."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I recognized the name," he says. "For some reason, anti-eugenics legislation is a topic of interest."

Permalink Mark Unread

"...Ah. Yes, I don't actually stay out of politics debates on the nets, but free speech laws or no, I don't want it coming home to roost."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I get that."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I'm not going to turn you in."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I figured. But thank you."

Permalink Mark Unread

"You're welcome." Pause. "Do I now get to know what other things you told me were cover for your age?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Oh - anything about family is either a flat-out lie or actually meant successive imaginary generations of me. I won the Harlequin in a game of poker the year she was commissioned, for example; I'm older than warp drive, let alone that ship. But the book's real, and it really has been with me since childhood. I can show you if you want."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I'd be interested to see a book that old."

Permalink Mark Unread

He gets up and goes to where he put his belongings and brings back the case.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Interesting illustrations," says Isabella.

Permalink Mark Unread

He laughs. "Aren't they just? This book was my favourite thing in the world as a child."

Permalink Mark Unread

"The standard history don't suggest that any of the augments from the 1990s survived. What happened with you, if you don't mind my asking?"

Permalink Mark Unread

He shrugs. "I ran away, what else?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"What enhancements do you have?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Just about everything. I learn faster, think faster, move faster, react faster, heal faster, I haven't aged since I was thirty, my memory's almost perfect even coming up on three hundred years - I never looked it up and the records are long gone, but I'm half convinced genetic engineering is the reason I'm so pretty."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Wow."

Permalink Mark Unread
He shrugs.

"Oh, and the name is fake, naturally. But I like it. I'd rather you keep using it."
Permalink Mark Unread

"That will be no problem."

Permalink Mark Unread

He smiles.

Permalink Mark Unread

"You must have led a fantastic life."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Oh, I have," he agrees, laughing. "Want to hear about it?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Yes, please."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I've been to see a Klingon opera," is the first thing that comes to mind.

Permalink Mark Unread

"On a Klingon world?" breathes Isabella. "I didn't think relations were ever that good."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Between the Klingons and the Federation? No," he says with a slow grin. "Between the Klingons and me? Oh yes. Or should I say - between a Klingon and me. Her name was Shenara."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Ah. It's still not obvious how a human would manage to get into the audience of an opera without trouble, but an escort would help."

Permalink Mark Unread

"It's amazing what the rich and eccentric can get away with. I find that's true across any culture where the concept of 'rich' is relevant," he says. "Bringing her alien concubine to the opera was the least of her exploits."

Permalink Mark Unread

Isabella laughs softly at 'alien concubine'.

Permalink Mark Unread

Lalita giggles. "Well, I was. For almost a year."

Permalink Mark Unread

"How did you wind up in that position?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"She captured me while I was out on one of my first trips into deep space. I flirted. She was charmed. She decided to keep me."

Permalink Mark Unread

"...Ah."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I really did like her," he adds. "She was a lot of fun."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I suppose that's considerably better than the alternative. She let you go, or you escaped when you were done?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Option C: assassination. One of her rivals got her, and I stole Harley back from the spacedock and ran for it."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I suppose that works too. What's Klingon society like up close?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Violent. Structured. Beautiful. A lot like their opera," he laughs.

Permalink Mark Unread

"The violence sounds unpleasant."

Permalink Mark Unread

"It wasn't always."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I suppose you're probably about a match for a Klingon if you decide to be."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Shenara liked that about me."

Permalink Mark Unread

Isabella laughs.

Permalink Mark Unread

Lalita grins.

Permalink Mark Unread

"What other improbable civilizations have you visited?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Oh, the Klingons were definitely the most improbable."

Permalink Mark Unread

"What other interesting ones, then?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Orion?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"I know very little about the society. I do know that the people are green."

Permalink Mark Unread

"They have taboos about food the way some species have taboos about sex, and they're as casual about sex as some species are about food. I've had sex with a lot of Orions, but only one ever let me make her dinner."

Permalink Mark Unread

"That's an interesting reversal, and not one I've heard of before. Sexual taboos are common. I wonder why."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I have no idea."

Permalink Mark Unread

"For most races at most times, sex is more optional than food. Although outside of actual instances of pon farr Vulcans are at least as conservative as everyone else about the subject."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I got the impression that there was some unusual biology going on with the Orions, but not the same as yours," he says.

Permalink Mark Unread

"So have you in fact lost count of how many languages you speak?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Yes. More than thirty, though, that's for sure."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Do I know of the existence of any languages that you don't speak?" she asks.

Permalink Mark Unread

"At this point? Probably not," he laughs.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Wow," she laughs, shaking her head.

Permalink Mark Unread

"I like languages."

Permalink Mark Unread

"The fact that I sometimes go online under the pseudonym "polarbear" is of little consequence - though I wouldn't like it spread around - but can I trust that you won't go into my other files?" Isabella asks.

Permalink Mark Unread

"I kept away from the ones that looked private. I'll try not to daydream on your computer again."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Succeed. Please. Even if you avoid anything with 'diary' in the filename, this is a one-person ship. I'm not usually obliged to be overmuch concerned with security and labeling on things that can only be inspected with physical access to my system."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I don't think it's going to be that difficult," he says with a shrug. "You got this ship secondhand, right? How long have you had him?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"A couple years. I bought him from a friend of my mother's cousin who married a Starfleet officer and now lives aboard the Drake."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Did he have another name before? Harley used to be the Eurydice," he adds. "I could never figure out why."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Yes, I have a weakness for Greek mythology. I know it's a common name, but," she shrugs. "He was the Andes. I don't understand the motivation to name ships after geographical features."

Permalink Mark Unread
He taps his fingertips against his lips again.

Then he says, "Did you know that in the last two years five new planets have built their first warp drives and had their first official contact with the Federation?"
Permalink Mark Unread

"...I do read the news. Yes."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Almost like somebody's stealing fire from the gods."

Permalink Mark Unread

Permalink Mark Unread

"So I'll do my best to stay out of your private files," he says wryly.

Permalink Mark Unread

Isabella looks away, hands clasped in her lap.

Permalink Mark Unread

Permalink Mark Unread

"Thank you. My privacy is important to me."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I noticed."

Permalink Mark Unread

Isabella sighs, withdrawn.

Permalink Mark Unread

"I haven't been in your private files," he adds. "I just - notice things."

Permalink Mark Unread

She nods once.

Permalink Mark Unread


He shrugs.
Permalink Mark Unread

So, awkward uncertain silence, then?

Permalink Mark Unread

Apparently so!

Permalink Mark Unread
Isabella might as well pick up a book, then.

She'll have time to get lots of read in on her deserted moon, won't she.
Permalink Mark Unread




"I'm sorry I figured it out," he says. "But I can't exactly go back and not know it."
Permalink Mark Unread

"I am," she murmurs, "less than clear on what you know or what you plan to do with it."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I don't plan to do anything. You're breaking the law, but why should I care? I remember when Earth was a prewarp civilization."

Permalink Mark Unread

Isabella relaxes marginally. "...Ah."

Permalink Mark Unread

"...Did you think I was going to turn you in? I'm not," he says. "The less contact I have with any kind of authority, the better. I wouldn't turn someone in even for a crime I didn't want them to commit."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I suppose that's fair. So now we both have blackmail material on each other, I suppose."

Permalink Mark Unread

He laughs.

Permalink Mark Unread

"I probably shouldn't have named my ship Prometheus. It's a common name, but I suppose it must make everything snap into place obviously if you formulate even half of a correct guess."

Permalink Mark Unread

"It kind of does," he agrees.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Maybe I should change it. I considered keeping Andes or going with the considerably more subtle Nicholas."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Nicholas?" he echoes inquisitively.

Permalink Mark Unread

"As in," she smiles, "the saint."

Permalink Mark Unread


He laughs.
Permalink Mark Unread

"But possibly a name change will draw attention, too. I am unsure what will be the most useful at maintaining cover. I expect to be caught and confined to a small moon for the rest of my life eventually but would like to postpone it as long as possible."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I'd rescue you," he says whimsically.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Would you? Really?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Why not? It's something I've never done before. And I like you."

Permalink Mark Unread

"You have known me for just over a week and I spent most of that time less than - coherent. I am aware that you like me, but a willingness to break into a Federation prison to release me is a step beyond."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Not for me it's not."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Why not?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Because it's easy for me to care about people and hard for me to care about risk," he explains.

Permalink Mark Unread

"This wouldn't be a matter of quietly changing identities. There would be a manhunt. It might go on for a very long time. Especially if I continued to steal fire from the gods."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Believe me, I know. I don't care," he says.

Permalink Mark Unread

"I am somewhat surprised you have managed to remain intact and free for this long, unless you acquired this attitude recently."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Taking big risks doesn't bother me, but I don't do it for its own sake, either."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Risk bothers me. But I think my reasons are sufficient ones." She looks up and smiles. "Do you want to see my very large number?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Very large number of what?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"My estimate of the effects of my fire-stealing."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Sure."

Permalink Mark Unread
"Computer, run estimation program version twelve," Isabella says.

"Running," says the computer.

And then it offers her the number 21,476,912,443 ± 2,008,154,014.

"It doesn't count future generations. Those are people who are alive today, who will - according to my best guess, you can see there's a huge margin of error - who will now have access to Federation standard of living and live longer for it. Lives I've saved. It does count the Mirivanl, though, even though Starfleet has not yet picked up a warp signature from them."
Permalink Mark Unread

"That," says Lalita, "is a very large number."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I look at it when I become concerned about the prospect of spending a much smaller number of days on some prison moon. I would willingly be inconvenienced for a day under those conditions to save a single life, and will live for dramatically fewer than twenty-one billion days. And I have not even been caught yet, by anyone apart from you. The math checks out."

Permalink Mark Unread
He looks at her admiringly.

Well. 'Admiringly' is one way to put it.
Permalink Mark Unread
"PN-115 is not a cover stop. It will contribute, presuming the scientists I offer the equations to take the bait."

She may be shifting position slightly under his gaze.
Permalink Mark Unread

"Can I come with you?" he asks suddenly. "I mean - I have to rescue the Harlequin, but it's about time I left her in a museum for good. And then I wouldn't have a ship. But you have a ship."

Permalink Mark Unread
She blinks.

"You want to come with me? On - it really is seventy-five percent surveying. Even the planting of warp plans is mostly a matter of learning to write numbers in the local languages and running a computer analysis of citation patterns to find someone inclined to pass mysterious research off as their own."
Permalink Mark Unread

"I could help with that for sure," he laughs. "And I've never done it before. And I like you."

Permalink Mark Unread

"...It might be nice to have company."

Permalink Mark Unread
He grins.

"Especially if I stick around for at least another seven years?"
Permalink Mark Unread

She goes very green at that. "I - would - find that agreeable."

Permalink Mark Unread

"You're blushing again," he informs her. "You know, you're only going to live to what, a hundred and fifty, hundred and sixty? Is one week every seven years really enough for you?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"It... is a minimum, not a maximum, but - until a week ago I had not - indulged - at all - and do not yet know what rate I will prefer for the intervening years. And I am not sure what you are insinuating. I specified that I would not take assistance as an indication of a more ongoing commitment, but that relates to the fact that the situation was urgent and I did not have a traditional mate available with whom to conduct a ritual marriage-sealing. The matter will not be urgent again for seven years."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I'm insinuating that I want to have sex with you again sometime in the next seven years," he says patiently. "And I think you do too. It was fun the first few hundred times, wasn't it?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"...I wasn't counting. But. It was. I simply - I am not sure that - I am aware of cultures that consider it isolable from other facets of life but outside of recent context I do not appear to fit into such a culture."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Does this mean you don't want an alien concubine?" he asks, blinking innocently.

Permalink Mark Unread

"You are not an alien relative to me," Isabella points out.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Well, all right. I want to follow you around the galaxy and help you steal fire from the gods and talk to you and snuggle with you and have sex with you, because I like you and you're fun and I'm going to miss you when you die. What parts of that plan don't you like?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"The plan does not contain objectionable parts. It - does not have a recognizable shape if I presume those parts are the only ones operative."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Does it need a recognizable shape? What's missing?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"It would be easier to think about if it corresponded to something I have a label for. I can't tell if you want to be my - physically affectionate friend - or my sa-kugalsu or something in between."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Well... yes," he says. "Yes, I want to be one of those things."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Which of those things?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"One of them. Something in that range. I'd be more specific if I wanted something more specific but I don't."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I do not understand."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Then maybe neither do I. What do you want?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"I want to know what you are - insinuating, suggesting, asking."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I keep trying to tell you!" he laughs. "I don't know how else to say it!"

Permalink Mark Unread

"I will react differently to suggestions of affectionate friendship, offers of - boyfriendhood - and proposals of marriage!"

Permalink Mark Unread

"But I'm trying to tell you I wouldn't. I mean, I'd feel a little differently about them, but all three are fine."

Permalink Mark Unread

She peers at him, dumbfounded.

Permalink Mark Unread

He blinks back at her.

Permalink Mark Unread

"I am not sure what to make of that. I suppose I could just imagine that you'd been more specific and produce reactions to the individual ideas."

Permalink Mark Unread

"That sounds like a fine plan to me."

Permalink Mark Unread

"While it would not have been culturally uncharacteristic for me to have been betrothed at age seven, I do not wish to become so now to a man I met less than two weeks ago. I believe I would find physically affectionate friendship emotionally confusing. I would be willing to be your girlfriend."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Well, that's simple enough, then," he says with a laugh.

Permalink Mark Unread

"I suppose it is at that."

Permalink Mark Unread

Lalita grins.

Permalink Mark Unread

"And - yes, you can come with me if you want to. How long do you think it will take to rescue your ship and find a new home for her?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Not that long. A week, a few months - something in that range."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Do you want to meet me somewhere later or would it make more sense for me to come along?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Well, if you didn't come along you'd have to find me again," he says. "And I don't know how long it's going to take, or where I'll be when I'm done."

Permalink Mark Unread

"There is that. It will delay PN-115 - but then, there is already a civilization in the pipeline, and they may be a little more densely clustered than is ideal."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Just a little," he agrees.

Permalink Mark Unread

"It is very hard to wait. Perhaps you can distract me from the fact that there are people who could benefit from Federation assistance on PN-115."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I can be very distracting when I put my mind to it!"

Permalink Mark Unread

"How convenient."

Permalink Mark Unread

He smiles charmingly at her.

Permalink Mark Unread

"When I'm resupplying, what should I pick up for you? Food-wise?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Oh, I'll eat just about anything," he says. "I have favourite foods, but they're mostly kinds of candy that haven't been sold in a century or two."

Permalink Mark Unread

"That's a pity. I'll just get more of my usual assortment, then. I've been starting to incorporate more Vulcan foods as farms on New Vulcan have proliferated enough to make it less than prohibitively expensive; will you eat those too?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Sure!"

Permalink Mark Unread

"All right then. Is there anything else I should pick up while you're salvaging and I'm shopping?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Can't think of anything," he says.

Permalink Mark Unread

"How do you manage finances when you have to be a different person every few decades?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Cleverly," he says. "There's some stealing involved, but usually only from myself."

Permalink Mark Unread

She laughs. "That sounds like at least one interesting story, and probably more!"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Oh - I have to resort to the kind of trickery usually associated with major financial fraud to switch over identities while keeping most of my money," he shrugs. "It's getting a little harder and a lot more pointless as I get older and more things become free."

Permalink Mark Unread

"There are some reasons to have money, still. I wouldn't want to live indefinitely on postscarce food. I like saffron."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Well, yeah. But it's easier now to just take a few months as a gap and then get a job under the new name if I want to. It's not like I don't have skills."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Fencing, dancing, cheffery," laughs Isabella.

Permalink Mark Unread

"And prostitution," he adds, cheerfully. "Oh, that reminds me - the cheffery, not the prostitution - I can think of a few things I'd want to cook if I had the chance, and you have that teeny little kitchen. Interested? I could write you a grocery list."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Sure. If there's anything expensive you might need to chip in some of the results of your grand theft."

Permalink Mark Unread
He giggles.

"I could just give it all to you. That would be a new way to steal from myself."
Permalink Mark Unread

"That would be a peculiar thing to do," Isabella points out. "On several levels."

Permalink Mark Unread

He shrugs. "Why?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Large transfers of wealth draw attention; we have known each other for less than two weeks; the fact that we're going to be traveling together doesn't diminish the fact that then you wouldn't have it anymore. I suppose I'm a slightly longer-term caretaker than any of your myriad identities, since I age as I am expected to, but it will still add an extra step if you want to buy anything."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Oh, I wouldn't give it to you on the books," he laughs. "I'd just take it all with us, and if I had you I wouldn't need a legal identity of my own, I could just let you buy all the groceries."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Being without a legal identity could probably be inconvenient under some - admittedly unlikely - circumstances."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Oh, sure," he says, shrugging. "But I still wouldn't need one."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I begin to suspect you have an unconventional definition of need."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Of course I do."

Permalink Mark Unread

"What does it mean when you say it, then?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Different things, depending. Right now it means that I wouldn't have to have one just to make my everyday life convenient. I could get most of the same things out of living with you, in mostly the same ways, whether I officially existed or not."

Permalink Mark Unread

"That's true. If you give the Harlequin to a museum you won't need the identity to keep your ship registered either."

Permalink Mark Unread

"See? And if something else comes up, well, then it comes up. I can always start existing again."

Permalink Mark Unread

"What's the procedure for that like?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Mostly, I make the old name disappear as much as I can and start using the new one. Sometimes I invent records; sometimes I just let the new paper trail speak for itself. The methods tend to change over the years."

Permalink Mark Unread

"What was your original name?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"There was a first thing I was called, but it wasn't a name and I don't like it," he says.

Permalink Mark Unread

"...Oh?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"What part of that do you want me to elaborate on?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Any of it you're disposed to."

Permalink Mark Unread
He thinks about this for a little while.

Then he says, "The people who made me didn't think of me as a person. I probably would've hated anything they called me, but the fact that it was essentially a model number makes it that much worse."
Permalink Mark Unread

"I'm sorry."

Permalink Mark Unread
He shrugs.

"Thanks, I guess."
Permalink Mark Unread

Isabella reaches out and puts her hand on his arm.

Permalink Mark Unread


He puts his hand over hers and smiles softly.
Permalink Mark Unread

"I have been known to experience mixed feelings about my parentage, but - nothing comparable."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Yeah," he says with a quirk of a smile, squeezing her hand gently. "You had parents, for one thing."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Who loved me. And gave me names, one each." She squeezes back.

Permalink Mark Unread

"I like your names," he says, and he picks up her hand and kisses it.

Permalink Mark Unread

She smiles. "I do too. I default to Isabella, but among Vulcans or anyone who might be more cooperative in some way if I present Vulcan, I go by T'Mir."

Permalink Mark Unread

He smiles back, nuzzles his cheek against her hand for a moment, and then kisses it again.

Permalink Mark Unread

She smiles and squirms just a little. These chairs don't roll, but they do swivel; she turns hers towards him.

Permalink Mark Unread

Lalita gets up out of his, and stands in front of her, and leans down and kisses her on the cheek.

Permalink Mark Unread

Ooh, kisses. There should be more kisses. Isabella crosses her wrists behind his neck and increments kisses.

Permalink Mark Unread

Kisses! He approves of kisses. Mmmmmmmmm.

Permalink Mark Unread

Good! The exercise would be purposeless if he did not approve. Kisses.

Permalink Mark Unread

Leaning over her chair makes kissing somewhat awkward. He kneels on the floor in front of her instead, which improves the logistics only slightly but serves as a pleasing reminder of some recent activities.

Permalink Mark Unread

Recent activities were indeed pleasing. Kisses where she isn't being eaten alive by the need for such activities: pleasing in a different way.

Permalink Mark Unread
Yes, they do lose a little of the urgency, don't they?

But they are still fun.

Fun can be had.
Permalink Mark Unread
It can!

They aren't due in Betazed for a while yet.
Permalink Mark Unread
Indeed they are not.

Time enough for plenty of kisses.
Permalink Mark Unread

Kisses and snuggling.

Permalink Mark Unread

Kisses and snuggling... and sex?

Permalink Mark Unread

Maybe a little. Isabella is a lot shyer when she has the luxury to be, but apart from turning visibly green and sometimes breaking eye contact and being much slower and more tentative about the whole thing - well, they're the same pair of people.

Permalink Mark Unread

Lalita is very snuggly and affectionate and fond of her blushes. He likes to kiss them when they appear.

Permalink Mark Unread

Awww. This creates a feedback loop. And giggling, it also creates giggling.

Permalink Mark Unread

Giggling creates more giggling! Also cuddles. It creates some of those.

Permalink Mark Unread
Spontaneous generation is fun!

Cuddles are good.

Isabella is relatively well-suited to solitary deep space survey. But she thinks she'll like having someone to hold her better.
Permalink Mark Unread

Giggly cuddles it is, then.

Permalink Mark Unread
Those are nice!

Eventually:

"If you're not going to have a legal identity does that mean I shouldn't update the manifest to include you?"
Permalink Mark Unread

"Well, you can if you want," he says. "I have a good fifteen years left on this one. You'll just have to quietly drop or rename me at some point."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Should you be crew or passenger?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Does it make a difference?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Only to what I put in the manifest file."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Whatever you want, then."

Permalink Mark Unread
"All right."

Snuggle.
Permalink Mark Unread

Snuggle cuddle snuggle kiss! Mmmmmmmmmmm. Kiss.

Permalink Mark Unread
Kisses.

Hand on face and questioning look?
Permalink Mark Unread

"Yes," he murmurs.

Permalink Mark Unread

Snuggles and touch-telepathy.

Permalink Mark Unread

He likes her. He likes her a lot. He is just full of lovely wam snuggly happy feelings for her.

Permalink Mark Unread

That makes her all warm and snuggly and happy right back! Yay!

Permalink Mark Unread

Mmm. Snuggly and warm.

Permalink Mark Unread
Mmm. Good things.

Isabella's stomach growls.

"Instant risotto?" she says.
Permalink Mark Unread
"Sure," he laughs.

They can snuggle-eat together like they did during the past week! Can they?
Permalink Mark Unread

That is totally doable! Instant risotto is as the name promises. Isabella plates two servings and sits herself in his lap.

Permalink Mark Unread

He cuddles her and noms the food. Nom!

Permalink Mark Unread
They get closer to Betazed.

When they're only a couple hours out, Isabella observes: "Betazed is predominantly inhabited by telepaths."
Permalink Mark Unread

"...Yes?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"I can block casual reading, but you probably can't, unless you were engineered by someone particularly prophetic about what humanity would encounter in later years. If I couldn't block it I wouldn't want to go anywhere near a Betazoid. We have enough supplies to go to Hallia instead, if you were only agreeing to Betazed to avoid inconveniencing me."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Oh. I don't care," he shrugs. "I don't spend so much time thinking about my secrets that it's a problem to go near Betazoids."

Permalink Mark Unread

"...Are you generally that casual about telepathy?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"...Yeah, why?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"I - perhaps too much, I haven't thought about it in any practical-level detail before - tend to romanticize telepathic connections."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Well, Vulcan telepathy is different from Betazoid," he points out reasonably. "There's not a lot of romance in walking past a stranger and knowing they're probably reading your mind a little, but there's plenty of romance in cuddling up with you and letting you read me."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Yes, I know. And you can't block Betazoids anyway. Just -" She shrugs. "Not everything is casual surface reading. If you want to be my boyfriend you should probably know that it would make me uncomfortable if you were engaging in less casual telepathy with other people."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Okay," he says. "...How about sex, will you be uncomfortable if I have sex with other people?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"I - am okay with it if you really want to," she says after a moment's reflection. "I wouldn't design my ideal relationship from scratch that way, I don't think, but I don't anticipate it bothering me anywhere near as much as promiscuous telepathy would."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I don't really, really want to have telepathy with anybody but you," he says. "But I really, really want to have a lot of sex, and not always with the same people."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Thank you for letting me know before going and having it."

Permalink Mark Unread

He smiles crookedly.

Permalink Mark Unread

She aligns the contour of her hand with his jaw and kisses him.

Permalink Mark Unread

Mmm, kiss. Snuggly feelings!

Permalink Mark Unread

She pulls those snuggly feelings out of his mind into hers and likes them and snuggles their owner.

Permalink Mark Unread

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Feelings snuggles!