"Hello," says Ethan.

"Hi, Ethan," says Andi. (Just because she no longer plans to accompany him to school dances doesn't mean he is not welcome to talk to her in his yummy accent.)

"I have been to the tea shop," he says, taking one of the remaining seats at their table. "I have sampled the tea. The tea was delicious. Thanks for the tip."

"You're welcome, I'm glad you liked it!"

"Oh, you told him about that place Renée goes?"

"Yeah."

"And I am ever so grateful," says Ethan.

"What kind did you get?"

He answers. At length. In detail. In his yummy accent.

Yummmmmm.

Bella steps on her foot.

"Ow!"

"Sorry. You know me. So clumsy I have to sit out of gym."

Ethan raises his eyebrows at Bella.

"It's true, I sit out of gym, ask anyone."

"She's barely functional," sighs Andi, "falls down the stairs, trips on nothing, she can only do gym if it's something like pull-ups where at least no one else will sue when she inevitably injures herself."

"Sorry to hear that," says Ethan.

"Yeah. I'm not clumsy like that, I might try out for swim team."

"I'm actually not terrible in the water. It's just ordinary human locomotion that gives me a problem. But I do not care to be on the swim team."

"That makes two of us," laughs Ethan. "Not that I have anything against swimming. It's the 'team' part I don't care for."

"I think the swim team is less teamlike than, say, the basketball team."

"Yeah, it's more like just a bunch of swimmers, it's not like it's water polo."

"Eh," says Ethan, "still not my thing."

"Fair enough. I think I will try out, though. Maybe I'll make it, maybe I won't."

"Good luck."

"Thanks!"

"Sorry - who's that? I don't think I've seen her before?"

"Who's who?" inquires Ethan.

"The girl over there wandering around." Bella waves at her.

The girl spots the wave, looks confused, and then approaches.

"Hi! Are you new?" Andi asks the girl. "I'm Andi, and this is my twin sister Bella, and that's Ethan."

"Hi," Ethan adds.

"Ooh, you're British too, that's neat."

"You are welcome to sit."

"Good," she says, grinning at Bella.

"Aren't we a regular embassy," says Ethan.

"What brings you to Phoenix, Robin?"

"How many people would you like to guess have asked me that today?" says Robin.

"You should print flyers," suggests Andi.

"Because your mom doesn't keep large stacks of colorful paper around the printer to make pretty handouts for kindergarteners?"

"Right. That must be it."

"Our mom does. If you want to make pastel-colored flyers I can help."

"Thanks," she says. "I'll keep it in mind."

"Is there something you wish people would ask you instead? Like, 'what is your favorite color' or 'where did you get your shoes' or 'so what electives are you in'?"

"Do you like the shoes, or was that a random example?" she laughs. (Her shoes are a pair of sturdy black boots, suitable for stomping on things.)

"I like the shoes," Ethan volunteers.

"They're pretty keen shoes! They don't really go with anything I own so I don't need to go get a pair of my own, but you rock them."

"I do," Robin agrees.

"So did we just miss your existence for the first couple weeks of school or are you brand new?"

"Brand new," she admits.

"Ooh. Are you having any trouble catching up with stuff?"

"I was never that good in school even before I moved to another country," she sighs.

"Ouch."

"Ouch is right."

"Maybe you just need a little help," says Ethan. "A crash course. How To Pass Classes In America."

"Is the school system really that different?"

"Parts of it."

"The spelling's going to make me want to punch something, I can just tell," says Robin.

"They shouldn't mark you down for putting extra U's in things, but never let it be said that I expect all teachers to do what they should."

"Yeah, that would make far too much sense."

"I'd wonder what Mom would do with a British kid but her students aren't usually literate yet in any dialects at all," muses Andi.

"Your mum teaches little kids?" she guesses.

"Yeah, kindergarten."

"I was theoretically eligible to skip into first grade directly, but Mom wouldn't let me go past her without having me for the year, and besides, would've split me up from Andi."

"Wouldn't want that," she says, glancing between the twins.

"Yeah, Bella totally carries me in English class. I have more tolerance for math though."

"English class, there's a joke," snorts Robin.

"Don't mock the colonials," says Ethan.

"The Redcoats are mocking, the Redcoats are mocking!"

"Pffffff."

Ethan snickers.

Robin giggles.

"I don't even know why it's called English class. In elementary school it was Language Arts, and a decent fraction of the literature we study is translated from other languages, we're doing a chunk of Dostoevsky in December."

"Not the entirety of Dostoevsky? Just like his arm or something?"

"A passage from the middle of a novel," snorts Bella. "Not the whole thing, no room in the schedule."

Meanwhile, the Redcoats

are cracking up.

"I should go into standup, clearly."

Ethan giggles.

Robin snickers.

"I think you're more conversationally funny than monologue-funny," Bella tells Andi. "Maybe you could translate it, though."

"His arm," says Robin, and giggles harder.

"Dostoevsky's Arm sounds like a band name. They would play incomprehensible electronica!"

She is now laughing so hard she has to lean on Ethan to stay arguably upright.

He is not much less giggly than that. But he manages not to fall over.

"It could be a whole crossdisciplinary unit. We could dissect his arm in bio. Except he only has two, so we'd have to do in groups."

Ethan splutters.

"Ew," says Andi as she thinks about this in more detail.

"Also he's been dead for a while now, I believe, so that would be more of an archaeology project."

Robin cackles.

"And archaeology is a college thing," agrees Andi, nodding smartly. "Way too advanced for us sophomores."

"Not a problem," says Ethan.

"You okay there?"

"Of course I am," says Robin.

"Good, I haven't killed anybody with laughing so far and don't wanna start."

Ethan grins.

"So what class do you have after lunch?" Andi asks Robin.

"Archaeology. I mean, English."

Andi giggles. "Us too, that's cool."

"Hopefully they'll keep the severed arms to a minimum."

"But who doesn't love a good severed arm?"

"The people the arms belong to, probably. The better the severed arm the less they like it, they probably wouldn't miss a terrible arm that much."

Robin starts giggling again.

"Au contraire," says Ethan, "I'd think a badly severed arm is more worth complaining about. All that mess and unnecessary discomfort."

...Robin sporfles.

"No, you have to distinguish between the arm, and the severing," says Andi. "If the arm is good and the severing is bad that's the worst for the arm, um, donor."

"Pfffffffffffff," says Robin.

"I think our girl's sprung a leak," remarks Ethan.

"I don't have my bicycle repair kit, can't help you."

"Well, nobody cut off her arm, that'll only make it worse."

She thunks her forehead against his shoulder and cackles helplessly.

"I don't have my hacksaw either anyway, I'm going to get marked down for coming to school unprepared."

Giggle giggle.

"You've gone and done it again. She'll never recover at this rate."

"Ooooops?"

"Dying of laughter is very uncommon."

Robin continues to snicker.

"She may not die of laughter, but she might die laughing," snorts Ethan.

"What would she die of, then?"

"Car crash. Thirty years from now. Still giggling," Ethan predicts.

"Oh, let's give her till she's eighty at least. I like the image of a little old lady who can't stop laughing because of jokes told in the tenth grade."

"She'll keep trying to tell all the other little old ladies in the nursing home what's so funny but she won't be able to stop laughing long enough to do it!"

Robin covers her face with her hands and wheezes.

"There, there," says Ethan, patting her on the shoulder.

"We can all sit very still and wait for you to calm down if you want," offers Andi.

"Even though it wouldn't be any fun at all."

Robin nods. And leans on Ethan's shoulder again.

Andi sits very still. (Well, she eats.)

Bella also sits mostly very still and eats.

Robin gradually recovers. Soon she is also eating!

"You all right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Good. So. Welcome."

"What she said."

"This is the most welcomed I've felt all day."

"Everyone else is falling down on the job then."

She snorts.

"Lucky you found us," says Ethan.

"The Redcoat Welcoming Committee!"

He laughs.

Robin grins. "Yeah, you're a special bunch, you are."

"I promise not to steal your tea and throw it in any harbors."

"And if you do, you'll just have to tell her about your mother's favourite tea shop," says Ethan.

"Is there even a harbour close enough to throw it in?"

"Not really. There's, like, ponds. If you go way south and I think a little west and a little bit into Mexico there's the Gulf."

"All right. My tea is safe," says Robin. "Now what's this about a tea shop?"

"Oh! Mom gets her tea from this one store and it's already Redcoat-approved," Andi gestures at Ethan, "so apparently it's not, like, secretly inferior Yankee tea or anything." She names the shop and its location.

"Good to know," says Robin. "Thanks."

"You're welcome! I wouldn't want you to go into horrible tea withdrawal."

"Yeah, and neither would anyone else," says Robin.

"Are you very scary when you're in tea withdrawal?"

She grins. "You bet."

"What happens, do you get weird undercaffeinated paranoia and start trying to stab people?"

"Nah, I just get grumpy. Terrifyingly grumpy."

"Terrifying grumpiness! I'm scared!"

"You should be," laughs Robin.

"I tremble in fear that you will grumble at me and, um... rebuff social pleasantries. It'll be horrible."

She snorts.

"I'd never recover. It's a good thing I told you about the tea shop."

"Damn right."

"Anything else you need to know about lest you become grumpy?"

"Nah. As long as there's tea."

"Noted." Andi mimes writing this down.

Bella elbows her.

Robin laughs.

"Do you have English with Ms. Hawthorne or are you in a different section from me?"

"Yeah, Hawthorne."

"I can show you where it is," Andi says, glancing at the clock. "The rooms are numbered funny down that hall."

"Brilliant. You're a lifesaver."