"Fancy that," says Mark. "Let's go see what it's doing here, shall we?"

"Suppose it means to throw any small children at us who we will then heroically rescue?"

"I fucking well hope not, I'm terrified of children."

"Why?" asks Ivan, wandering into the bar and looking around. Looks empty.

"Eh, people talk about impressionable children but I don't feel strongly impressioned by most things that happened to me when I was a kid."

- only to be caught by the boy who's trailing her. "Whoa! What the - this isn't the chapel!" He sets the girl on her feet again. "Who're you?"

"Stay back," the girl warns. "How far back you are now is fine. Don't get closer than that to me though. Where are we?"

"A mysterious time-travelling bar that must be pretty bloody far-ranging because I don't recognize that clothing style at all. Why should I stay back?"

"Because if people get closer than that to me I read their minds. I can't help it, you just need to stay a certain distance away to avoid it. I got a few seconds off you, nothing major, I'll tell you everything I felt if you want. The bar time travels? When are you from?"

"The late thirtieth century. What d'you mean, you read minds? What did you get off me?"

"You were thinking about not wanting to meet any children, and I got a little about your - thought style, situational awareness and sort of happiness set point type thing. Reminds me of some people I know, actually, but I haven't read enough people to know if minds just plain come in types like that because I usually scrupulously avoid it. Thirtieth century since what?"

"...Magic isn't known the world around where I'm from, but I don't know what the Earth Common Era is, so maybe we aren't in fact from the same universe? A little easier to believe what with a bar having eaten my chapel."

"The time travel bar contains magic teenagers in exotic high fashion who don't know what the Earth Common Era is. Is that weirder or less weird than the time travel bar containing five-year-old versions of secret cousins?"

"Is that a compliment on Kiri's outfit? I accept your compliment on Kiri's outfit."

"I don't think I believe you can read minds," says Mark to Kiri. "Do it again."

"Do you want me to read your mind or do you want to call my bluff, because I can in fact read minds and if you don't want me to do it to you I can turn my back and you can hold up various numbers of fingers at Aleko instead."

"I want to find out if you can read my mind, and you actually demonstrating that you can read my mind is the only standard of evidence I will readily accept. I will try not to think anything too horrifying. I may not succeed, but I'll try."

"That isn't my concern, but the distance is about five feet, if you want to close it. I can also perform interesting tricks with fire if your skepticism is generally about magic, though."

"You don't think in words. You're very fond of that fellow, who is your cousin, and you're sort of perpetually delighted by his presence. You have no idea what fashion environment produced my dress and you'd usually expect to know that kind of thing, you have been to several planets, that's strange. You haven't decided if you want to see any interesting fire tricks. And you definitely think like a cross between Sarelle and Loel, but since you've never met either that's not going to be very informative."

"I think you should do tricks with fire."

"Let us conservatively hold off on tricks with fire."

"What if the tricks with fire turn out to actually be made of fire?" counters Ivan.

"They are actually made of fire but quite safe. Your cousin will not request fire tricks if you don't want them. But my brother can probably extract fire tricks from me if he wants them."

"You're very fond of Ivan. It's cute."

"I heroically rescued him."

"That does not, mmm, characterize the fondness."

Ivan is just fucking delightful, that's all. And huggable. So huggable. Mark would absolutely fucking murder anyone who hurt him.

"He's thinking that you are delightful and huggable and that he would cheerfully murder anyone who hurt you."

"Let's confine the murder to people who are, say, David Galen, and not run around with a plasma arc if I have a nasty breakup, huh?"

"That is the sort of distinction I seem to take more exposure to pick up on. I can tell with Aleko or our little brother, but I haven't read you - or for that matter Loel and Sarelle - quite enough. Loel almost, but he thinks so differently from me that there's more to learn about how he works in the first place."

"These people, and two other people and I, are the primes - a political and magical position - in our country. None of them look much like you and Miles - you are very complicated in there - and he doesn't have nearly as much mental resemblance to anybody I've read as you do, based on your model anyway. Sarelle does have an identical twin, but they were born conventionally and are both girls and I'm not much acquainted with Sarelle's sister to comment on her for you."

"My model is perfect," says Mark. His internal representation of Miles agrees, and so does an actual memory of the actual Miles, and so does the evidence of the way they tend to argue about books, with Miles never once complaining that Mark guessed wrong when he interrupted Miles three words into a ten-word sentence to respond as though he'd said the whole thing.

"The balance of evidence available says so, anyway. Do you believe I can read your mind now or shall I go on commenting?"

"It is very strange that you have a copy of your brother living in your head."

"Maybe we'd better get away from the door in case somebody comes in," says Aleko. They do, avoiding Ivan's radius as they head for the chairs at the bar.

Kiri winces. "Well, you got very good at it. Aleko's got what I'd call an excellent model of me he can run which he uses as a conscience, but Miniature Pocket Kiri is not quite so - full."

"Works pretty well for me. Kiri'll be on my case if I do things she doesn't approve of anyway, so might as well consult her in the first place."

"This is a way in which you resemble Loel," Kiri tells Mark. "It's just getting more and more uncanny. At times it's just like you're thinking Loel's thoughts in Sarelle's accent or Sarelle's thoughts with Loel flavoring or something."

"Curious," he says, very much like both of them.

"This conversation is very strange," says Ivan. "Also I can't help but feel that Miles would make a very erratic sort of conscience."

"Hey!" says—well, briefly Miles.

"That is weird," says Kiri.

"You let your - not-so-miniature Pocket Miles - blow up like a balloon, and you sort of hung out in a corner of your own head! It was weird!"

"I can tell them apart," volunteers Ivan. "Miles doesn't like me as much."

Which is fucking mystifying. Who doesn't like Ivan?

Kiri giggles. "Oh my word, are you unable to model not liking Ivan?"

"Ivan is fucking delightful!" says Mark.

"It is clear that this is very core to your thought process. It's cute."

Aleko giggles.

"I can sort of tell that Miles doesn't like Ivan as much as I do, I just can't seem to actually pull it off," says Mark.

"Well, I never heroically rescued Miles."

"That is definitely not the disconnect here."

"Awww."

"What is it you're reacting to over there?"

"Putting it into words is effortful and he could do it at least as well as I can."

"I find you delightful because of things inherent to you, not because you rescued me."

"That's very gratifying." Headpat.

Aleko awwwws.

Kiri awwwwws too.

"Yes, get away from magic mindreader lady unless you want her magically mindreading you! What's been chasing you, you look like hell."

(Magic mindreader lady is trying to help, but hindered by falling off her barstool and only barely being caught by her brother.)

"You're just on the edge of my range there," she says, hauling herself back onto her barstool, "flickering in and out."

"I wonder if space pirates are a problem that can be solved with fire."

"Why fire? Do you happen to have a lot of fire lying around? Why is there a magical mindreading woman in the time-travelling bar? Can someone please find me some bloody painkillers?"

"We found it, same as you. I have fire powers the same way I have mindreading powers. If you want to wait fifteen minutes I can send Aleko to get someone who has bone powers and fix you outright, but I don't think you're in enough pain to want me to try dulling it with mind magic."

"...Hell yes, free painkillers, hell yes someone to fix my shoulder," says Miles. "I like your magic time-travelling bar, Ivan."

Aleko goes.

Ekador can be found in the library, reading a book.

"Hey, Ekador, there's a guy with some broken bones, come fix him?"

"Not far. Also, the door to the chapel has turned into a door to a time traveling bar! It's an exciting day."

"I really wasn't."

"My little brother is psychic: now confirmed by actual mindreader?" inquires Miles dryly. "Ivan, bring me my painkiller."

Ivan brings him the painkiller, staying out of Kiri's range in so doing.

"Thank you." He takes it - with his left hand - and drinks. "Oh, that tastes much less disgusting than I expected, well done magic bar."

"And I'm not hallucinating," Miles reports cheerfully after a few seconds. "Well done, magic bar."

"Here we are! Look, like I said."

...Ekador peers down at Miles with a deeply disturbed expression.

"Can you fix him?"

"When you reported the problem as 'a guy with some broken bones', were you unaware of what you were leaving out?" he asks Aleko.

"I told you about the time traveling bar thing! What did I leave out?"

"You left out the - the - " He gestures helplessly. "I entirely lack the vocabulary to describe it. Something is very wrong here, that's all I can tell you. Multiple things. On top of the mere broken shoulder."

"Miles has a bone condition thing, hence the breakability. Can you fix that?"

...Miles sits up alertly. This is probably not good for his shoulder, but he has painkillers now!

"I... think so."

"Well, find out," says Miles. "Carefully. And fix my shoulder in the meantime."

"Certainly," says Ekador. He goes over to Miles and lays a hand on his shoulder and frowns slightly. There are some rather unpleasant cracking noises. "Well, you don't have any broken bones anymore, that's an improvement."

"If only I'd gotten to see Valdin doing this I might have something useful to say."

"I would be very surprised if Valdin had ever done anything like this. I've never encountered anything like it before. His bones are... they're more fragile than a very old person's, and they seem to have been that way all his life. And - what happened to your legs?"

"Oh. I got those ones replaced with synthetics," he says. "You can leave them alone."

"Very well." He looks around. He sees Mark. "...And who's this, your much luckier twin? Would you mind coming here so I can compare you?"

Ekador closes his eyes and examines their respective skeletons, frowning.

"Bone powers. Something new every day."

"In most cases Ekador has pretty limited applications, but convenient he was within reach today."

"Yes... this might hurt more than the broken shoulder," Ekador warns.

"I'm on painkillers," Miles says brightly.

"Aleko and I went to the chapel and then instead of successfully entering the chapel we went here instead. Followed by Mark and Ivan," she points, "who've been here before, and then followed by Miles, who you just worked on, who hasn't. The bar is magic, it does time-travel and alternate universes, I intend to thoroughly inspect the space of possibilities opened by its appearance."

Hello. Can I interest you in a beverage? First one's free.

"What manner of beverage?"

"That's... certainly a clue."

"Suggest away," says Ekador.

Something vaguely cherry-colored and slushy appears. How's this?

You're entirely welcome.

"Well then," says Miles. "How have you two been?"

"Improved since last you saw me," says Mark.

"Mark's mood continues to be responsive to hugs."

"How nice for Mark."

"It's very convenient. I haven't had to dump any water over his head at all."

"I assume it serves a very different purpose when someone dumps water over any of you than it has tended to for me."

"And why do people dump water over your head?" inquires Miles.

"They don't, anymore, but when we were eight and our great-aunt died, I spontaneously inherited her powers and woke up because my surroundings were very bright. As it turned out this was because they were on fire."

"...That sounds like an unpleasant surprise to wake up to. I mean, you have magic fire powers, but presumably you didn't know so at the time."

"I had been expected to obtain the magic fire powers since a few hours after I was born, but we were not expecting our great aunt to die, so it was somewhat surprising to begin with. I was unharmed, though - I'd demonstrate but your cousin has come out against the display of fire tricks, but I can't burn, and a combination of water and getting myself under control prevented much in property damage beyond my bed."

"Ivan, how set against fire tricks are you?"

"I suspect they would be made of fire!"

"I am no longer eight. I have it under control. Do you have a phobia?"

"No..."

"It's just that if she's offering to use her magical powers to help me with my space pirate problem - are you, or was that hypothetical?"

"That was Aleko. I would need to know considerably more about the problem to know whether and in what way I might be willing to help."

"I see. When Mark and I volunteer each other for things it can generally be assumed that the volunteered party is on board," says Miles. "What exactly do you want to know about the space pirates?"

"Well, for instance, in what way do they differ from ordinary pirates, and can your problem be solved without killing them or my getting very far away from the door?"

"They operate in space rather than on a planet or through some more abstract medium, and no, probably not."

"...Space being...? This would probably be a lot easier if someone who knew the terminology cared to sit in range, not that I'm going to require it."

Mark steps into Kiri's range and delivers a very basic and condensed lesson on astrophysics and space travel.

"There are more of them than you could reach from the door, first of all, and for another thing—"

Mark shrugs slightly to signal to Miles that he has caught the thread, and provides Kiri with an expanded and clarified version of what Miles was about to say: personal weaponry (stunners, nerve disruptors, plasma arcs, needlers) has ranges. They are about like so. (He has a very accurate sense of how far each type of weapon can fire on average, plus degrees of variance accounting for things like the age and quality of the piece and how much the wielder cares about accuracy.) If Kiri's range is shorter than any of those, she lacks a strong enough advantage to be sure they won't have to hurt anybody to avoid getting hurt.

Miles makes a subtle facial expression.

Also, it seems there is more than one ship in this pirate fleet, and ship-mounted weaponry operates on an entirely different scale.

"Thank you anyway," says Mark, because Miles was about to but Mark is faster.

"What exactly is it weird that we can do?" wonders Miles.

"It's weird that he can tell what you're thinking and then - suffice to put it into practice, at least well enough that you don't object aloud, I don't know if there are discrepancies below the surface because you're too far away but I suspect they're very few. Aleko and I are pretty good at modeling each other but not that good, and I can literally read his mind."

"How accurate are we, I wonder."

"Do you want me to let the magical mind-reading woman read my mind to satisfy your curiosity," sighs Miles.

"Yes," says Mark, entirely confident that Miles will agree to it.

Mark receives this message with perfect clarity down to exact inflection of mental tone of voice. He shrugs slightly and smirks. Yes, but not just anyone would have been this good at it, aren't you proud of your little brother?

Miles receives Mark's message with much lower fidelity, but he gets the highlights. "Naturally," he says aloud. We Vorkosigans have got to stick together, there aren't that many of us left. Although at the rate people keep cloning me we may be just about set to take over the galaxy in a few decades.

...Mark cracks the fuck up, because oh my God, Miles, you actually managed to forget Naismith was not a separate individual while you were still wearing his bloody pajamas, are you quite sure you're not insane?

"You shut up!"

Kiri laughs. "This is the funniest thing I have ever seen. You've got six personalities between you, even if some of them are duplicates!"

"An excess of personality seems to be a family trait."

"Good genes." Now there is a statement with layers, but he's not consciously dwelling on most of them.

"And the imitation is exquisitely perfect. I expect Mark could fool me even wandering right past me, if I weren't expecting it, he was deeply in character, and he wasn't thinking about Ivan."

Mark is terribly pleased about this.

Miles is fondly amused about Mark being terribly pleased.

"Of course, if he thought about Ivan it would ruin the symmetry, which is hilarious."

"I'm just that wonderful."

Yes, yes he is.

He's, you know, family and all, but really, what the hell?

(Kiri giggles.)

"Maybe you can explain why Mark likes Ivan so much."

"It is not, despite Ivan's own hypothesis, the heroic rescue. Although it is related that Mark does not perceive it to have been possible for Ivan to both be himself and hear of the need for heroic rescue and fail to endeavor to produce one. I was not there when they met, so I have mostly - informed speculation rather than direct knowledge, of other details. I think Ivan's turn of phrase is a feature."

Ivan has a very charming turn of phrase! And he's just so - Ivan!

"And a certain irreducible quality of 'he's just Ivan'. Which reminds me of Loel. Again."

Totally mystifying. Also: "Who's Loel?"

"Another prime. Water and blood. Mark's personality that isn't you is a cross between Loel and Sarelle - yet another prime, air and soul. And just for completeness the one who hasn't come up is Patience, earth and flesh."

"I don't suppose Loel or Sarelle is within reach?"

"I'm afraid not, or believe me we'd get them for you for more extensive comparison. We found this door in my country house; it's sheer luck that Ekador was visiting."

"Well," says Miles. "This has definitely been enlightening. What are the odds I can get a new stunner power pack around here, do you think?" This question directed mainly at Mark, although anyone else with an opinion is welcome to answer.

"Blew yours up, did you?" inquires Mark, with a mental image of the explosion that must have broken Miles's shoulder—

—which matches up to Miles's memory with alarming accuracy considering Mark has never even set foot in the vessel where it happened. "Yeah, what can I say."

"Thank you," says Miles. "I'll take one. Um. Except I don't have any money on me at the moment. Ivan?"

Mark experiences Miles's retroactive amusement almost precisely in unison.

And Kiri giggles.

"What does that thing do?"

"It shoots unconsciousness bolts."

...Miles cracks up.

So does Mark.

"What? It does!"

"It's just a very weird way to say it."

"How would you explain nerve disruptors, I wonder."

"To explain to Aleko? Well, if they hit straight on it's more or less what I imagine would happen if I decided to directly kill someone by stopping their mind. If they don't..." She taps her chin. "Results in the general neighborhood of an intense stroke."

"Broadly accurate."

Miles is now wondering, but not actually asking aloud, what Kiri would say about plasma arcs and needlers and Private Danio's bloody archaic pistol.

Kiri glances at him but does not continue to translate information about weapons.

"Well, that's scary. I'm guessing the plasma arc is some kinda fire thing because Kiri was talking about it like she could get hit with one and be okay. Please no one try it, her dress was expensive and I was hoping to be done shopping for the season."

"I don't have a plasma arc, and I wouldn't fire one at somebody I liked even if they did have magical powers," says Miles. He is remembering Elli Quinn's face.

Mark does not have access to that memory, but he has been told about it in passing and he knows what Miles is remembering.

"Yeah, they're not toys. Even if we did have one it'd make more sense to fire it at a wall and see if you could - I don't know, do something to it."

"Have you changed your mind about fire tricks?"

"...Maybe."

"We still don't have plasma arcs. We live on a civilized planet, remember?"

"Yeah, yeah, I know." Pause. "You can do fire tricks as long as they don't get near me."

"Well, this one's classic -" And now her hair is on fire.

Mark giggles.

Miles also giggles, more at Mark's charmingly warped sense of humour than directly at the spectacle of Kiri's hair.

Kiri puts her hair out. Her hair is all still there. She holds out her hand; a little flame dances in her palm. She tosses it into the air and it bounces like a ball and winks out before it gets close to anybody. "That sort of thing. I don't have a standard showing-off repertoire, really."

"Your nonstandard showing-off repertoire is impressive enough."

"I can also take heat from things, turn water into ice with decent precision. Which would be more useful if I could walk on ice, which I really, really can't."

"Yeah, that does sound like a significant obstacle."

"I go around with her in public places so I can catch her and make sure people don't wind up in her range."

"Aleko's very useful."

"Returning to the subject of my space pirates - Mark, are you—"

"Okay, good. I'm not what you'd call an experienced combat asset. I've threatened people when there was enough of a language barrier to cause a problem, but - yeah."

"I mean, if the magical assistance came in significantly more convenient forms I'd be more tempted. But with the resources I've got... a working stunner is probably the best thing I can take home. The new skeleton will help too. Thank you, magic bone man."

"You're welcome, of course."

"Are you going to scamper off with it immediately? I'm probably going to be in here for a long time figuring out how this place works."

"Joy," says Aleko.

"I'm definitely going to take advantage of the chance for a breather before I scamper off. Can't wait too long, though, or I might forget something important on my way out."

"I suppose that makes sense. I wish you the best of luck with the space pirates, anyway."

"You've got to be lucky when there are space pirates involved."

"Thank you."

"You're sure you just need one new stunner pack and not - I don't know what else, but still."

"If the bar sold weapons I'd take more weapons. If I thought I could get away without any of the space pirates noticing that there were suddenly two of me, I'd politely ask Mark to go clear me a path. But honestly, even with a broken shoulder and centuries-old weapons technology I was still at worst moderately worried."

"If you say so."

"No, I couldn't," says Miles to Mark's unspoken suggestion, "because there are aspects of this mission that rely on talents I have other than combat, and while I know you do a very good me I'd still rather do those parts myself. If only because I'm going to have to explain it to Simon eventually if I don't."

"What, were you thinking switching outright?" Ivan asks Mark. "Terrible idea. It'd look from our end like you'd shipped out and he'd stayed behind for some reason. Contra orders. Th'captain'd never buy that I hadn't noticed the swap, I'd be in for it."

"The idea would presumably be that Miles would pretend to be me only long enough to leave Earth and proceed to some defined rendezvous point where I would find him to switch back," says Mark.

"Ah. Much better. Still various flavors of non-regulation but in a way pretty much all your own business."

"Of course I wouldn't prefer any arrangement that got you in shit with your captain."

"I appreciate that."

(Awwww.)