It's not like the minor ones that rattled them years earlier, that stopped when they put the right songs underground. It's more violent than that, and it does not let up. Earthquake. Earthquake. Earthquake. They are intensifying. Just slightly, but they are intensifying.

He is trying to crumble the continent, Melian says. Eventually he will succeed.

Please do.

Ground's shaking there too.

In she goes. Melian says the continents are going to crumble. This is the time to sort Noldor from everybody else and break for Valinor.

They've drilled on it. They have a lot of teleporters now. They move.

"I don't even know."

"Can we go to the rest of my family," Maedhros says, and the teleportation spell is definitely not touch-range but he reaches out to take Fingon's hand.

Pop.

"I can get you a debate that will last a few decades," she says. "Are they all dead."

"Not yet. Fëanor's trying something with the Silmarils. It might work but I had to be clear. There were Ents in Doriath, no hobbits. Where do we go, do I do any talking directly?"

"Seems unlikely to be wise. We go to the Máhanaxar. We walk, not teleport, because we are trying to buy time and rushing the Valar is the opposite of useful here."

"Should I come along or get back to work?"

"If you can't work and walk stay and work, when we're getting close teleport in and join us."

"Okay. When will that be?"

"I'll have one of the Doriath teleporters with me, they can come get you."

It's two objective weeks later when someone comes to get her.

Out she seasicks. She collects herself and goes where they take her.

They are climbing a mountain. They are still a day's walk away from Taniquetil but at this point I think it was worth having you, Nerdanel says.

It's a stunningly pretty mountain. It opens onto a very obviously artificial plateau between two peaks. The Valar are assembled there. The petitioners kneel.

This is so far from the time to complain about the time Ulmo kneeled her without permission. Just pretend they're Odin, ugh. Kneel.

Thank you. Let me know when I should go do that.

Stay for the first hour, probably. Then someone else will ask leave for a few people including you to go.

Okay. Loki can kneel for an hour.

And then someone does indeed ask leave for some of the petitioners to return when needed, and they can go.

Loki dips her head in what she fancies is probably an excellent approximation of polite deference and she goes back to work.

And they bring testimony, and they bring considerations, and they bring evidence, and they buy time.

"Thanks. Force hoods still where I expect 'em?"

A brief pause. "Yes." Another, briefer pause. "Good luck."

And where are the Noldor -

Right where she left them. Literally right where she left them. Not a molecule out of place.

They are huddled in circles around Fëanor. They are clinging to each other. The Silmarils are in his hands and his expression is intent and he looks up and smiles at her. "Oh, good. How long has it been?"

"Two years realtime I think," she breathes. It's a little hard to talk. Audio illusion would be easier. She switches. "Considering turning the planet into a sphere. I don't have a really good reason it's just annoying me and if I do have to move it it'll be less likely to collapse suddenly on itself."

"I'm in favor." He straightens. He looks utterly content.

And Arda is now round. It's also still mostly uninhabitable.

She puts the continents back. They were perfectly nice continents, she doesn't have a quibble with their coastlines or anything.

The Elves are watching wonderingly.

There are in the end less than a hundred volunteers. They are lost and they are not happy but it's few people who feel that their grief and loss and confusion is the most desperate.

Loki, says Manwë. He sounds surprised.

I finished my spell. Morgoth's dead. Also I took the liberty of sphereing your planet, I hope you don't mind.

That's why I thought you might not mind.

The war has - not taken its fated course, but has gone well, with little loss of life. The orcs are now free, and not in pain. You had no thought for my objections, but I have none.

Thank you. I have some (let's just be nice and polite, why not, she can kill any of these fuckers if she wants) requests about the dead. Which one of these is Mandos? She wants to be facing Mandos and that's a location, there he is. I sent you my friend. Did she make it?

She did. While oaths like that are in force all I can do is ensure they don't have the option of acting towards any of them, and are therefore not in pain.

That problem now having been solved, Loki says, it seems like there should be no trouble with restoring her and all the other dead orcs to life. I put the continents back, there should be room, but I can go find them a nice planet if that's a concern.

I cannot immediately assess how many of them by temperament or ancient grievances or learned hatreds will still seek Elves with enmity. Probably not none. If you find a nice planet for orcs I will consider how they can be returned to life.

Thank you. Your friend is here and you may take her there. I can see who else can safely and suitably be returned to life.

And Vár looks up at her in awe. "You did it."

"Yeah. Sorry it took me so long."

"Didn't feel very long. Was hard to keep track of time, really, but it - it feels like it was just yesterday, the day when I d-d-died..."

...Hug. "I'm sorry."

"It was okay. Didn't hurt. How's everyone else, are they okay?"

"I'm working on Mandos. Got you first, may have to wait a little for him to mull over everybody else. Found you a planet. D'you like it?"

"We can - have kids, and not hurt, and not bother anyone -"

"Yeah. But if you were hoping for a planet with rings or two suns I can find you one."

"Um. I was kind of hoping that Sauron would go away and I would be alive and not hurting. Didn't think of rings or suns."

"Oh, I killed Sauron. Years ago. With my bare fucking hands."

"I shouldn't be glad. But I think I kind of am."

"It's okay if you are."

"The orc-babies? The ones I wasn't allowed to see because the Enemy might be spying though my eyes?"

"Grown up now -" And she does illusions, all the babies, the colony and the adoptees, all the stages of growth she saw.

Hug. "You're welcome."

"Mandos was okay. For an Elf-god. He told me what he could do and then I could watch the strands of fate unravel and I did that."

"I'm glad it wasn't too bad in the Halls, I worried."

"I'm sorry I went with the fake. I should have known better."

"I wasn't expecting to be impersonated either. I don't blame you."

At this point Mandos informs her that there are several thousand orcs who can definitely be reembodied unproblematically.

I can move them as fast as you can reembody them. "Mandos is coughing up some more orcs now."

And one at a time, they awaken very briefly in Valinor.

Most of them want to stay.

"There are not nearly as many. Men don't come to the Halls of Mandos, or pass through here only briefly. Their final fate is unknown to us. The Elves who remain in the Halls are entirely those who died in the course of committing murder or crossing the Ice."

"I've found a nice planet for them too."

"Murder is a crime."

"Exile is a sentence."

"Not the one that was issued, though."

"Around. I cannot collect souls. I can offer them reembodiment if they come to me, and I can make it known to them how to reach me. You can also try reembodying them directly, though I'd expect that to be wrenching and difficult, depending what he was doing with them."

"I don't have an easy way to make bodies for them, let alone correct bodies. I could fetch you the souls if that seemed like it would a more efficient way to get them alive again than doing it myself."

"No, I mean, I object to the fetching of souls. They have the right to choose whether to come to me."

"They were told that you'd torture them forever when they died, that probably didn't help."

"You are welcome to communicate to them that this is untrue."

"I don't actually have osanwë of my own, neither do orcs, I don't know if that works on dead souls anyway..."

"You can - move them closer, if you like. Close enough they can speak to anyone they know who is in the Halls. But I cannot take custody of the unwilling; it would go against my nature."

So she shuffles all the dead orc souls closer.

"Perhaps with time."

"Dwarves? Do you get those?"

"No. You would have to ask Aulë."

Which one's Aulë. Well, the one she's looking at now. Well?

"You should already be able to find them; their next life is a world they can build their civilizations to even greater heights in."

Huh. She goes looking.

There is a planet! A round planet! It has Dwarves. They have fantastic systems of commerce and are building lovely underground cities.

"You know," she says, "I really like your design sense, Dwarves are great and I have no complaints about this afterlife at all."

"Thank you. Will they eventually invent the means to reach the rest of the stars, or is there a dimensionality barrier there? If there is I shall have to give them the tools to solve it."

"My interdimensionality solution involves magic. There may be a tech avenue but I don't know of one if there is. I can look it up and let you know later."

"I appreciate it. Thank you for befriending them and dealing fairly with them. I am in your debt."

Ooh, indebted Vala. "You're welcome."

He nods evenly.

Now she is aimed at the Ents one. "What about yours?"

"Ents cease to exist on being destroyed."

"Has this ever actually happened yet?"

"Yes, there were lots of them on the continents that sunk."

"And you couldn't get them back if you wanted to?"

"No. Nor can I preserve the others - there isn't anything to them beyond the trees they are."

"Of all the places to find physicalism. Okay. I didn't run into any hobbits, were there hobbits?"

"I don't think they've awakened yet, no."

"Do they have an afterlife setup picked out?"

"I think they're like Men in that no one knows."

"Am I missing anybody? Are werewolves just like Men?"

"Yes. I do not think you are missing anyone."

"Those who died on the Ice I am prepared to release into exile, if they had no part in the Kinslaying. Those who did take part in the Kinslaying have seen themselves only profit from it."

"Many societies get along with punishments lighter than exile for deaths less motivated and more permanent than those your" prisoners "guests caused."

"They introduced an unspeakable horror into Valinor and marred the peace of the Blessed Realm forever."

"Would you like me to solve this problem with time travel?"

"Yes."

"...I was not expecting that answer. I haven't wielded the time stone before so I don't know if I'd be able to finesse it very precisely - I'm getting excellent results with space, just barely passable with reality. If you will reembody the Kinslayers I am willing to try the time stone and see where it can get me on this problem without unpalatable results."

"If the Kinslayers were not guilty of a crime I would reembody them."

That is not the order of operations she suggested. "So you're just planning to keep them forever unless I roll them back to a more innocent state."

"No, eventually they will have served their sentence."

"When's 'eventually'?"

"Two Ages, maybe three."

Put.

"And do not teach them to teleport. I - commend your judgment in that so far."

"Thank you." She's not going to mention she would hardly have to be the one to teach them.

"That's everyone in Mandos who did not desire to remain there."

They do.

Put. "Like it? I can find you another if this one doesn't suit you."

"All right," says Loki, "anything else anybody needs before I go home?"

"Nothing that can't wait," Nolofinwë says after a moment of wary silence.

Her father freezes in startlement and alarm at the sudden unexpected appearance of a person in his weaving room, and sees Loki and goes wide-eyed and pale with shock, and sees the Tesseract and has no remaining avenue with which to express his escalating astonishment.

He stares uncomprehendingly.

Frigg rushes over and hugs her very tight. Tears spill from his eyes. "I thought I'd lost you," he says. "Loki, oh, Loki."

Hug. "I'm fine. I landed in a strange world and had an adventure and did obscene quantities of magic and killed some things and saved a lot of people and adopted a species and I'm fine."

"I'm so glad." Hug, hug, hug. Weepy hug.

Hug. She's waited this long to find out if he knew - and this is most of the answer she really needed - she dismisses the blue and red.

Squeeze. Sigh. "Okay. - Did I guess right that she's planning on conquering Jötunheim and putting me on the throne because surely no one on Jötunheim will care anything for my qualifications as long as I'm blue?"

"...Conquering Jotunheim might not have turned out to be necessary, depending. She wasn't sure of exactly what she planned to do exactly when. I tried to tell her that adopting a child was going to be more complicated than she expected, but Thor had given her no reason to doubt her assumptions so far..."

"Of course." Sigh. "Telling Thor's going to be tremendous fun. ...Do you happen to know why I'm so short?"

"I don't know exactly what she did, but of course it had to - if you were twelve feet tall someone would have noticed."

"I'm shorter than Thor!"

"Maybe you would have been short for a jotun and it scaled you down," he says helplessly. Then he starts giggling.

Loki giggles too.

Slightly hysterical weepy laughter. Continuing hugs.

"So," sighs Loki, when the giggles subside, "what's the best way to announce I'm alive, not planning to live anywhere I can't be as sorcerous as I please without hiding it, a frost giant - that one possibly only to selected parties - planning on toting the Tesseract around because I like it and it likes me back, etcetera?"

"...Stars, Loki, I have no idea," he says, venting another half-breath of helpless laughter at the thought. "What happened? Should I call for Thor - you should perhaps not show Thor your other face right away, but she'll be so relieved to know you're alive, I couldn't keep that from her for a moment longer than necessary..."

"This mischief-maker," she says, pointing at the Tesseract, "thought I wasn't being interesting enough or something, and knocked me into an alternate dimension where I landed on a stupid cylindrical planet and helped in a war effort against a real nasty piece of work of a god who I couldn't actually kill until I got out of the universe and got Heimdall to tell me where the Tesseract was. ...Sigyn probably thinks Odin killed me, he should know I'm alive right away too."

"I never know what to think of Sigyn," says Frigg. He hugs Loki one more time, then stands back and looks at her, blinking tears from his eyes and smiling shakily.

"I'm all right, Father. And I've got a hell of a story."

"Do I call for Thor? She might take a summons better than a... an appearance. And I don't know where she is. Though," he glances at the Tesseract, "perhaps that won't be a problem for you."

Loki laughs. She taps the corner of the Tesseract and crackles and looks for Thor.

Thor: is sparring with the Warriors Three.

"Practice hall with the Three." And Sigyn?

Spectating.

"Sigyn's there too, or I might just surprise him."

"Someone's about to fetch Thor to me so she can be a little less startled. I thought you wouldn't mind the startlement. If you thought Odin was trying to murder me, well, I thought that too, but it wasn't her, she is guilty of other errors but not that one."

Giggle giggle.

It is so good to see Thor again.

"Hi. I'm alive."

"Loki!" she exclaims, and fairly leaps across the room to scoop her sister right off the ground into an enthusiastic hug. "What happened? We thought you were dead - I thought you were dead—!"

Loki slides her hand down the staff so she's not crackling any more just in time to be hugged. "I was shunted into another universe and got stuck there!" Hug. "And had a fantastic adventure."

"Will you tell me the tale? Oh, sister, I've missed you so!"

Squeeze. "I missed you too. I'll tell you everything, of course."

Squeeze. Happy relieved teary-eyed laughter.

So many hugs.

"I'm so glad you're—is that the Tesseract?!"

"I got out of the universe on my own," Loki says, "but then I had to go kill an evil god, so yes, that's the Tesseract. I think I might keep it."

"I will be happy to. I'd like to tell Sigyn the story too, do you think the Three will be very alarmed if he should disappear abruptly before their eyes?"

"I expect they would, yes!"

"Then I suppose he'll have to walk." Thumb to Tesseract. The crackling energy is where she wants it and that does not include it interfering with Thor in any way despite the hands on the shoulders. "Hey Sigyn, c'mere."

Thor flinches slightly from the crackle, but not even the threat of the Tesseract's wrath is enough to get her to let go of her sister right now.

Sigyn overheard the summons, of course, and makes his way to Frigg's weaving room with all unobtrusive speed.

"Storytime. - D'you suppose Mother should be here too?" Loki asks Frigg.

"I'd just as soon leave her in the dark for a little longer," he says.

Thor is hesitant about the illusions for about two seconds before she starts getting into the story, laughing at the funny parts, looking deeply sympathetic about the maudlin gay elves, clapping delightedly when Loki fights something.

"I - I don't know what I'm thinking," says Thor. "...Besides that the bards should sing of that battle for centuries to come. Well fought, sister."

Thor cheers.

"Ha!" crows Thor, scooping Loki into another triumphant hug. "A just reward for troubling my sister so!"

Thor cheers so much for this fight. She is very enthusiastic about Loki killing Sauron. Loki killing Sauron is extremely good and important.

"All that reading has done you some good after all!"

"My sister," she says, shaking her head in amazement. "Loki Godslayer."

Loki laughs.

"That one's going to stick," Sigyn predicts.

"You think? I did sort of drop my matronymic and not pick it up again somewhere in there, I like 'Godslayer' just fine as a replacement."

"It had better! You slew a god!"

"He needed slaying!"

"He did!" This calls for more hug.

Hug!

Such hug.

Available evidence suggests she is not.

"I want to hug Sigyn too, you know," Loki says after a few minutes.

She giggles. "Oh, very well," she says, letting go.

Sigyn hug!

Sigyn huuuuuug!

Very Sigyn. Very hug.

"So," says Loki. "Odin can get the short version of that story and decide whether she wants to re-banish me or announce that Tesseract-based magic is just as special as eye-sacrifice-based magic or what, and if it's the latter I want to bring a bunch of people here to look around."

"I would be delighted to meet your Quendi friends," says Sigyn.

"I as well!" says Thor.

"Well, that you can do either way, I can bring you to them without having to set foot on any planets Odin might care to banish me from, but they'd still like to see the place."

"You know what's really fun? Sparring when both people can teleport. It's great."

Thor giggles uncertainly and shakes her head. "I hardly know what to do with you, sister."

"Well. I'm glad you have taken the sorcery and my inconsistent color scheme so well. I worried."

"...I thought you were dead, these past twenty years. I mourned. I don't - I don't know what it can possibly mean, that you're - but you're my sister, and I love you, and that's all I need know."

That calls for more hug.

Hug.

"This is a problem I am qualified to solve!" says Sigyn.

"Is my room a depressing memorial site or what, do you still live in the same house...?"

"Your room may be a little bit depressing. My house is the same as ever."

And now they are in his house and now they are not wearing clothes it has been too damn long.

Sigyn is very happy to solve this problem that Loki has.

Sigyn is so good and important.

He is very glad she thinks so! He thinks the same of her. Look how much he appreciates her life and presence.

Her room is only a little bit depressing. Everything has been kept very tidy, but someone reorganized all her books and did it slightly wrong. Her armour is right where she left it, though.

"I have heard," says Odin, "some amazing things about your unexpected journey, Loki."

"It was an amazing journey," Loki remarks mildly.

"It's good to be back."

"All of your indiscretions were pardoned at your funeral," says Odin, sounding only a little like she regrets this decision.

"That's good. Going forward?"

Loki runs her thumb along an edge of the cube just to feel the crackle. "I'm so delighted to hear that."

Frigg smiles. Odin looks stern in the way that is Odin's way of looking uncomfortable.

"I'd like to borrow an Allspeak installer and go invite some friends from Arda to visit Asgard. A number of them have been hoping to do so for years."

"...I would be happy to welcome them to Asgard as guests," Odin lies politely.

"Also, I think I've derived some measure of your Jötunheim-related plans and I'm planning to hire an Elf diplomat after he has had a nice long vacation to help me figure out a more detailed plan on how to carry out your design." Pause. "I do have one question, though. Why am I so short?"

"I realize I could hardly be twelve feet tall but no one would have been suspicious if I'd been Thor's height."

Odin glowers.

It is!

They are still having a family reunion. It's a fairly tearful one. Celebrimbor is sitting with Fëanor presumably teaching sorcerous-alphabets and Fingon is holding Maedhros and probably also teaching sorcerous alphabets and most eyes turn to Loki when she's back.

"Hi! I am not banished and I can bring guests to Asgard! However, if you are going to visit please be discreet with anyone besides my immediate family and best friend about my species. Who wants Allspeak?" She waves the wand.

Seems almost like cheating. But they suppose they can turn it off. There are a few minutes of indecision and then everyone not currently occupied wants Allspeak.

They each get test brochures which explain various features of Allspeak and how to maintain and calibrate them in 500 languages. "I asked the guy about dyslexia," she says when she gets to Tyelcormo, "it fixes it if I do it right and he told me how to do it right, is that going to be weird for you?"

"I am in favor of being better at things," he says, "and we don't have your world's hangups about magic - is this even magic?"

"Yes, it's magic. But it's a magic object, not me casting a spell, so I didn't have to explain to the guy that I'm now under a special Loki Does Whatever She Wants She Has The Tesseract dispensation."

"Oh, you have such a dispensation? Congratulations. Also congratulations on killing Morgoth, I don't think I've said that yet."

"Thanks. My sister has started calling me Loki Godslayer, Sigyn thinks it's going to stick." She taps him in the head with the Allspeak wand and hands him a brochure.

"Loki Godslayer," he says. "If it doesn't stick you can go find some more shitty gods."

"Talking to Mandos was like talking to a wall but I did not wind up all that tempted to kill him. I might have to look for a while."

"We had the worst god in the galaxy?" He shakes his head. "Well, you've earned some time to recuperate anyway."

Celegorm and Huan! And Aredhel! And Maedhros and Fingon! They're - well, Fëanor's acting as if this is normal and he's just acquired universe-bending magic so no one is actually commenting on what they are doing.

Lots of people are interested eventually but still kind of shellshocked at the moment. Lúthien wants to go right away.

Okay, she can come back for another batch another time. At this point I only care what your father thinks about you traveling if you do, Loki tells Lúthien, do you want to ask him?

Hmm? Yeah, I know how to ask him now - and a minute later see? fine. Let's go.

And Loki brings Lúthien to the Noldor planet and collects the interested Noldor and brings everybody to Asgard. "Please be polite about mindreading, not every random passerby has had a chance to learn to keep private thoughts," she says.

"It was really impressive," Loki says. "So, welcome to Asgard. Is it pretty enough?"

The Elves stop in their tracks to stare delightedly.

Loki laughs. "What do you all want to do here?"

They would like to see the city and eat the food and meet the people who Loki cares about and also, Maedhros says, he was at one point challenged to charm Odin so he'll be attempting that.

"She's not in a really good mood at the moment," Loki says, leading the way on a circuitous sightseeing route through the city towards the palace. "She wouldn't even tell me why I'm so short."

"Perhaps she'll like me better after we've salvaged her frost giant scheme."

"For some reason it didn't seem to placate her that I figured out her plan and planned to hire an Elf diplomat to help me implement it after he's had a nice vacation. I can't imagine why."

"It might take me a few centuries to win her over," he says breezily. "She's not going to die that soon, is she?"

"Nah, probably not, if a few means a single-digit number."

"There's no urgency on the frost giants. I will look through vacation planet brochures for you until I find one with a lovely honeymoon package."

Loki smiles peacefully at incredulous stares.

"Can we even get married anymore?" Aredhel says.

"The same way everyone else can. If you really want a soul graft there's nothing actually stopping me from picking up the Aether again but it doesn't like me nearly as much as the Tesseract does and kept trying to eat my arm so I'd appreciate it if you gave the sorts of marriages that work for a million other species fair consideration before requesting it."

"Oh, I mean, I personally have zero intention of ever getting married. Dunno if I'm glad we can't,, but I was not in fact complaining."

"Well, as long as you can't it also can't happen by accident, that seems like a plus to me." ...She is very discreet in glancing at Tyelcormo.

Hmm? he says instantly anyway.

Cool.

I was definitely going to say yes if you asked during the war - there's lots of stuff that doesn't risk marriage - but I wouldn't have been particularly flattered. Now I think I shall be.

I didn't want to go anywhere near creepy soul grafts on general principle. What's the change in the flattery quotient for?

You have sexual outlets that aren't 'your adopted species' 'girls, once' and 'literally a vampire Maia that works for Morgoth on contract'?

Fair enough. She's a vampire? I knew she turned into a vampire bat...

Huan says so.

Well, that's grotesque and hopefully not invariably fatal and if I ever visit her again I may ask.

Didn't you promise not to kill her?

Yes. I didn't promise her access to blood.

The subjects of the question startle, and stare at each other a little astonishedly, and then Maitimo shrugs with good humor.

Sorry. I was summarizing.

Thor doesn't mean anything by it and neither did I.

It's really fine, Maitimo says. Lúthien is staring at Thor with wide-eyed longing and Irissë with approval.

The Elves are far more amused than annoyed. "Against Loki it's not even close to even," Irissë says, "I cannot imagine against you'd be any better. But we could give it a try."

"Oh, I don't offer to spar expecting anyone to beat me," she says, grinning. "It's still good sport!"

"I could help," Loki offers. "Me and whoever versus Thor. She'll still win if I'm not cheating, but it'll make it interesting."

Lúthien, do you know how to take a fall? It's inevitable if you're going to be one of 'everybody'.

"I should probably sit out too," she says reluctantly. "I am going to learn, though, now that I can."