What the fuck.

He rereads it many times, floating in the air like a hologram except THAT IS NOT HOW HOLOGRAMS WORK. Looks around his little study. He's alone. "Anyone there? If this is a prank... it's a really well-executed one and I wanna learn how you did it."

Nothing happens. And continues to happen, until he gives up and taps the 'Y'.

Oliver Houston

"The Wizard"

LVL: 1 (0 / 200)

Stats

DOM: 15/180

SUB: 0/300

BOD: 13 (+)

LUV: 17 (+)

SED: 10 (+)

ART: 8 (+)

NOV: 13 (+)

WIZ: 10 (+)

Stat Points: 5

Money: 0

Status Effects: None

Description: Oliver Huston has been paraplegic all his life due to a malformation of his spine in the womb. While he's made a point of proving himself capable and a valuable human being in spite of the world's insistence to the contrary, he has not been able to filter out the constant messages from society that he is somehow "lesser". He has sought the more intellectual pursuits, and is gifted in them, but sometimes he does have to resort to fiction to escape the world he lives in. By taking the Wizard's Oath, he has chosen to pit himself against the forces of ennui, boredom, and despair. He will need all his ingenuity, wit, and *ahem* sexual prowess to save the world.

Spells

Wizard's Body (Lvl MAX | Passive): The One has taken away some of the inconveniences that prevent people from loving each other fully. You heal from all marks with a good night's sleep, ready for the next day's adventures. Venereal disease does not exist for you; neither do refractory periods, erectile dysfunction, or anorgasmia. You can't get anyone pregnant unless you want to. Arbitrarily large appendages can fit into any of your orifices. Other aspects of this spell depend on the BOD stat.

Wizard's Mind (Lvl MAX | Passive): The mental flexibility and resilience you need as a wizard. You are more able to accept the realities of your new world. You are able to bounce back from painful, upsetting, or bizarre experiences with relative ease. Rape can be anything from a recoverable trauma to a Tuesday afternoon, but it won't ruin your life. Other aspects of this spell depend on the LUV, SED, ART, and NOV stats. 

Wizard's World (Lvl MAX | Passive): Your world has just gotten a little more... magical. People are never too preoccupied to think about pleasure or love when you're around. Bystanders won't ignore what you do, but they're unlikely to ever stop you. Those who do intervene will find themselves changed. If you go far enough that an authority sees no choice but to intervene... they won't treat you as a simple criminal. Other aspects of this spell depend on the WIZ stat.

Manual // Character Stats

LVL/Level: The quantified totality of your power as a wizard. The effects of this characteristic go far beyond the five stat points you get per level and the one boon you get per five levels.

BOD/Body: Your physical characteristics, including but not limited to your physical attractiveness. As BOD goes up, your body will be able to enact more exotic events.

LUV/Love: You should love everyone, and the One isn't averse to giving you a little... push. Don't worry, it'll start out at a level you can handle.

SED/Seduction: Your ability to seduce others, pique their interest and arouse their desire.

ART/Art: Your ability to give others pleasure... or other sensations.

NOV/Novelty: There are many sources of love and joy. This measures how many of them you understand.

WIZ/Wizardry: The extent to which the world will bend-- or be bent by you-- to create situations in defiance of probability. Or, at higher levels, physics.

DOM/Dominant Energy: Based off SED and ART, powering spells that invoke power, control, or mastery.

SUB/Submissive Energy: Based off LUV and NOV, powering spells that invoke submission, surrender, or service. 

Manual // Character Stats // Level

At LVL 1 and 0% progress to the next level, you're at the very beginning of your journey.

You can increase your level by completing quests offered by your manual or by spreading love and joy throughout the world. The more difficult the challenge, the greater the rewards.

Manual // Character Stats // Body

Your BOD of 13 makes you a bit above average. You're cute, but you don't take care of your body. You know there are ways you could have exercised more, but you never bothered, and it never seemed important. Still, one should not discount beauty when it comes to attracting other people. 

You can increase this stat through exhibitionism and other acts which invoke the beauty and power of your physical form.

Manual // Character Stats // Love

The average teenage boy would be comfortable with a LUV of 20, so your LUV of 17 is about normal. And there are more interesting things than sex, right? At least, before it gave you magic powers. 

You can increase this stat by experiencing urges towards pleasure that are unusually intense or go on unusually long. 

Manual // Character Stats // Seduction

You've never really flirted. You don't trip over your words when you're talking to someone of the opposite sex, but you're no Don Juan. Still, when your goal is to seduce the universe into being better, a SED of 10 isn't quite going to cut it.

You can increase this stat by arousing the interest and desire of others and successfully pursuing them or being caught.

Manual // Character Stats // Art

You're not surprised by your 8 in Art. You've had sex maybe three times in your entire life, and you suspect at least two of those were pity fucks. Don't get discouraged, though, you will definitely improve on this! Work on it!

What do you do to improve this stat? Take a fucking guess.

Manual // Character Stats // Novelty

Living in the era of the Internet takes your NOV to 13, above average, but only because old grandmas are included in the average. You never saw much reason to learn about the perverted pleasures of the world, given how little interest you had in even sex. This might be about to change.

You can increase this stat by taking joy and pleasure in things you thought were painful or repulsive.

Manual // Character Stats // Wizardry

At a WIZ of 10, your world still mostly lies behind the dark cloud of the Lone Power. What happens to you may seem unlikely to others, but it won't break the boredom and bitterness they have about the universe... yet. Witnesses will reach for explanations other than magic, but they'll still notice the unusual events.

Manual // Character Stats // Dominant and Submissive Energy

In a different world, you'd have mana and hit points. 

And they'd refill just from you sitting on your ass doing nothing.

Lol.

What.

The.

Hell.

Is he in a fantasy game of some sorts? A wizard game? A sex wizard game? He's about to protest but he rereads then frowns thoughtfully. "Can I get an explanation? Of literally any kind more detailed than this?"

A sentence appears at the bottom. 

Magic does not live in the unwilling soul.

"You're literally offering me magic, trust me I'm not unwilling, I just—well, guess I'm adding stat points, aren't I?"

The purple text does not change.

Well... He doesn't like ugly numbers. He'll add two points to ART and then... three to LUV. He doesn't know what build he's going for, yet, but the first level's points shouldn't be that important, not if he's getting five points every level, right? Unless leveling up is super hard. It probably isn't, though.

Nothing happens. 

If he had wanted proof of the Erogame's powers, he probably should have raised BOD. Or SED. Something easily checkable. 

He may feel a slightly insistent warmth around his genitals. If there happens to be a mirror nearby, when he glances in it he'll notice that he's attractive.

Oliver waits a bit longer for—something, anything. But no, all he is is horny.

Well. He knows how to take care of that. He rolls back away from his desk then towards his bathroom, and happens to glance at a mirror, and—

—well.

Well.

The game seems to have made him bisexual. Either that or he became much prettier but he never did find men attractive in anything other than a vaguely abstract way. So maybe he should find some different porn than he usually goes for. He's already getting hard just from the thought of it—is that the LUV stat? A bit misnamed, if so. But he doesn't mind the effects. He's rubbing himself through his pants before he's closed and locked the door, but after he does he unzips and takes his cock out and—yep. Bisexual. That's a nice cock he has, there, its tip glistening with precum—he wonders what it tastes like, he never wondered before—he's not flexible enough to suck himself but that's suddenly a very appealing thought.

He grabs his phone and starts browsing—how does one look for gay porn? Maybe some major porn site has a gay porn section—aha, yes it does. He licks his lips, browsing for videos with his right hand while using his left hand to lightly stroke himself. He glances at the mirror again, and bites his lower lip at the sight—the game's right, he is rather cute, isn't he? Holding his dick, looking vaguely flushed with arousal, feeling vaguely naughty for feeling attracted to himself. Maybe twincest porn would be hot? He's not sure, perhaps he should start with something tamer. He glances down at his phone again and finds something cute with mild plot, two cute boys play fighting then jerking each other off...

He thinks he can spend some time here.

He may notice that he is much better at jerking off than he used to be. Almost as if an omnipotent being has granted him powers which, among other things, include an instinctive knowledge of how to touch cocks.

Is that ART? That's probably ART. This video is making him want to stick something into his ass, which is a first for him, at least in anything other than a clinical, scientific way. But it sounds unhygienic and also he cannot actually move his legs to do it, so, he'll just keep jerking.

He gets closer to his climax, and makes a conscious effort to pay attention to how it feels—not as someone being masturbated, but as someone masturbating. He feels the skin of his dick in his hand and looks down at the bulging shaft filling his hand. He stops jerking to take a good look at it, from various angles, rubbing himself lightly with his fingers. He pulls on his skin, pulling the foreskin all the way back, and feels a shiver go down his spine and stomach—

—he quickly fetches some toilet paper and comes into it, groaning slightly, his phone forgotten on the bathroom counter playing the porn video to no one.

Holy crap that was the best orgasm of his life.

Quest completed: Self-Care.

You can't love others without loving yourself.

Goal #1 complete: Cause yourself the most intense physical pleasure (in some domain) of your life. +15 XP 
Hidden goal #2 complete: Complete this quest before it's assigned. +5 XP

A spell has been unlocked by a special action! Giving yourself the best orgasm of your life has unlocked the spell Masturbate.

Your skill at masturbation has increased LUV by 1!

...ooh he can raise stats by doing stuff, right! And he has quests! But what the heck kinda spell is Masturbate, he already knew how to do that.

Well, the menu was, uh... "Manual, spells?" he tries saying out loud.

Masturbate: LVL 1, Active. 1 D | S / orgasm. 

Birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it, but you can do it better than any of them. While this spell is active, you will have an instinctive sense of how best to touch yourself for exquisite pleasure and amazing orgasms. 

Overuse of this spell may result in unlocking the Wirehead spell cluster. 

Masturbating is a spell. That's ridiculous and awesome. "Okay, how do I get more spells?"

The Erogame is sure you can figure out how to get more spells if you try hard and believe in yourself. 

"...am I gonna have to go out and have sex? Of course I am. Why am I in a sex wizard game. Whatever, I hope I have better spells later." He would bounce if he could, but he, ah, cannot. So he doesn't. He finishes cleaning up and puts his dick away then ponders. "Do you wanna perhaps give me a quest? I'd love to get experience for going after some sex. It's not like I do that regularly or anything, I'm rusty, might need some help, you know..."

Quest available: Try Hard And Believe In Yourself!

Find three quest-givers. Your quest-givers may be people or objects. Different quest-givers may lead to very different kinds of quests and types of spells.

Success: Six quests. 
Failure: Unlock the Wirehead spell cluster. 
Accept: Y/N

"You're making fun of me, aren't you? I know you are. I know your game. How do I even fail at this? Is there a time limit of some sort? Surely you're gonna throw quest-givers at me eventually if I just roll around the sidewalk." He taps the 'Y'.

Quest available: Wizard, Heal Thyself

The frontiers of magic have not been mapped, and many maladies cannot yet be fixed. Develop a spell that will cure paraplegia.

Success: +10,000 XP, +4 BOD, +$100,000, the ability to walk
Failure: Acquire status "Wheelchair Woobie"
Accept: Y/N

He stops rolling and stares at it. "Are you fucking with me? You're not. You're being serious. Right? You're being serious?—you're probably not a person. Probably. Who knows what you are." He gingerly taps the 'Y' again.

The purple text disappears. It does not appear inclined to comment on how serious it is. It also does not appear inclined to give Oliver a new quest unless he goes out there and gets it himself.

Yeah, that's fine. Alright.—oh, wait, he forgot his phone in the bathroom.

...and now he's acutely aware of how annoying it is to be wheelchair-bound. He was having a good day, he had barely thought of it at all. He's not likely to complain at the game about it, though, it reminded him by telling him he can be cured. With magic. He doesn't have the first clue how he'll do this but he bets sex is going to be involved.

Sigh. Roll roll roll to phone, roll roll roll to wallet, roll roll out, lock the door, call the elevator.

The elevator has a woman in it who is unusually scantily clad for Oliver's apartment building. 

He blinks. "Good afternoon," he says, smiling up at her and rolling into the elevator. "Pardon me for the inconvenience."

She freezes up. "I'm... not supposed to be talking to anyone. He'll get mad."

Another blink, this one confused. "Who'll get mad? And why?"

"I probably shouldn't tell you that either." She has bruises. They're not very well-hidden by her dress. They don't look like they're in the sort of place sexy bruises would be. She is also, upon closer examination, wearing a rather excessive amount of eye makeup.

"Do you need a place to stay where he won't find you?"

The elevator dings. She flees without bothering to check whether she has the right floor.

Out of her pocket flutters a business card for T. C. Coil's Escort Agency. 

Quest available: T. C. Coil's Escort Agency

Most escort agencies are run by decent people who are just trying to make a living simplifying client screening and booking for sex workers. T. C. Coil's Escort Agency is not most escort agencies.

Infiltrate the agency as client or sex worker and bring him to justice.

Success: +200 XP, increased relationships with the sex worker faction. 
Failure: +$10,000, increased relationships with the police faction. 

Accept Y/N

Quest updated: Try Hard and Believe In Yourself!

1/3 quest-givers 1/6 quests

He blinks. What. The. Fuck. The police is in on it?

He is a fucking wizard and he is going to wizard it up and, and, and he has no idea how he'd do that, his only spell other than the starting ones is one to jerk off nicely and he can't walk—

—well, that'd make it fairly easy to pretend to be a client, wouldn't it. And besides: fuck the police. He accepts the quest and rolls on, because this is his floor.

A spell has been unlocked by a special action! Accepting an altruistic quest despite having no idea of how to do it has unlocked the spell Determination!

"...manual, spells."

Determination: LVL 1. Active. 20 DOM/minute

In a situation of dire need, do something impossible. 

...this is pretty fucking broken. He likes it.

He grabs his phone and calls an Uber, wheelchair-accessible please.

A spell has been unlocked by a special action! Calling an Uber has unlocked the spell Calling an Uber!

Okay no what the fuck. "Manual, spells, Calling an Uber."

Calling an Uber: LVL 1. Passive.

When you call an Uber, Lyft, taxi, or other driving service, a wheelchair-accessible car will always be within five minutes of your location. The driver will pick you up at your exact location and drop you off exactly where you want to go. The car will play the music you most feel like listening to. While the driver will default to not talking, he, she, and/or they will be attractive, interested in you, and up for road head.

...that's awesome and a bit worrying about the fabric of the universe but still awesome. He waits for his Uber.

His Uber arrives promptly! The driver is, mm, quite attractive, if Oliver would like to take his newfound bisexuality out for a spin.

...he might. He's finding himself horny again. "Afternoon," he says, trying to be plausibly-deniably-unsubtle about checking the driver out. That's how you flirt, right?

"Afternoon,"  the driver says. "You, uh, look nice." He blushes.

...well that's kind of adorable. "Thank you! You don't look half-bad yourself." This is definitely flirting, he's sure of it.

The man blushes harder. "Thank you. I... I don't normally do this sort of thing."

"Driving an Uber?"

"Uh. Hitting on cute boys while driving an Uber?" The shade of red his cheeks are is truly astonishing.

"Oh, were you hitting on me? I think I didn't notice." Yep, that's a boner that's pressing against the fabric of his pants again. He just came but you know what, he's fine with this. "Maybe I could return the favor. Better yet, I could do more than flirting."

Blush blush blush blush blush. "Now that I definitely haven't done before."

"I notice that's not a no..." he says, and slides his left hand to the driver's thigh, slowly rubbing it up and down.

The driver's hands clutch the wheel, white-knuckled. He is breathing heavily.

Your SED goes up by 1 for seducing a very easy person you were magically informed was into you!

Hey, he'll take it, free magic.

With his right hand he starts rubbing himself over his jeans, and meanwhile his left hand trails its way up the driver's leg and towards his crotch...

The driver takes one hand off the wheel and unbuttons his jeans. In a few not-very-graceful movements, he manages to get his underwear and jeans around his knees. His dick is distinctly average in length and girth, but is a lovely pinkish color, and juts out between his legs with the hardness of a man who's having a favorite fantasy suddenly and unexpectedly fulfilled.

Which is exactly what is happening.  

Oliver, not having access to the narration, does not know he's fulfilling a fantasy. He is merely wrapping his hand around some guy's cock and lightly stroking him, running his thumb around the tip, and definitely looking at the driver while making... faces.

Gods above he's in a porno.

He unzips himself but doesn't unbutton, and just takes his cock out again and starts jerking himself in sync with the driver.

The driver says various things along the lines of "uuuugh so-- so hot beautiful aaaaaa unf please yes please gaaaaaah fuck fuck fuck fuuuuuuuuuck." It would be a bit concerning to have this person driving a two tons of metal going at sixty miles an hour and full of explosives, but fortunately the Erogame takes care of such things. 

If the driver were in his right mind, he would definitely help jerk off Oliver. However, he is not in his right mind-- see above regarding "favorite fantasy"-- and the portions of his brain that are not currently mush are desperately concentrating on not crashing into anything.

So he just enjoys the waves of pleasure coming from his crotch and occasionally sneaks glances at the beautiful, beautiful man with a heart-stopping smile who is in his car and touching his dick and making faces. So many faces. Oh god faces.

Across the city, the fifty people whose fantasies this would most fulfill have a sudden impulse to do something good for the world by buying a wheelchair-accessible car and signing up to work for assorted rideshare and taxi services.

Oliver is also certainly unaware of such sudden impulses but he would not complain about them.

Now, he's masturbated people many times in his life. Most of the times those people were him, but the point is that he's used to holding a dick. You know what would be novel, though? Tasting one. He lets go of the driver's dick to readjust himself, then flashes him a mischievous smile before leaning down to the side and taking it all into his mouth...

The Erogame is being so helpful! It is improving disability access for everyone!

The driver makes a sound like "uuuurp," lets go of the wheel, panics, and grabs the wheel again. His balls are drawn up tight and close to his dick, and it is very possible that Oliver's first blowjob will end tragically quickly with an orgasm.

It's okay. Probably once he's come the driver will be able to concentrate to help Oliver out.

He doesn't mind at all. He does pull away to say, "You should probably not hold onto the wheel too tightly when you come down my throat," and back to sucking.

...man, being a slut is fun. He should do that more.

In response to that sentence, the driver makes a sound it is impossible to represent with the English alphabet. Maybe IPA?

His toes literally curl, he begins to pant, and after two or three more sucks he is, as promised, coming down Oliver's throat with a gentle sigh.

Oliver has the Wizard's Body. No diseases for him, so he can just slurp it up. It's... an interesting sensation. Not unpleasant at all.

(Being bi is also pretty fucking great.)

"Uh. Thank you." The driver is torn between social anxiety and the objective ludicrousness of being socially anxious around a person whose throat you just came down.

(Not that Oliver knows this, but the distinctly coconut-y taste of the driver's come is not in fact what come usually tastes like.)

Giving your first blowjob has caused your ART to go up by 1!

Quest available: Sex Drive

Personally administer orgasms to 250 different car drivers while they are driving. The drive must begin from some intent other than receiving your attentions, such as a rideshare or picking up a hitchhiker.

Success: Gain Wiz-Travel. If Wiz-Travel has already been obtained via boon, the boon used is refunded, and you do not get an extra boon at WIZ 75.

Accept Y/N

A spell has been unlocked by a special action! Swallowing the driver's come has unlocked the spell The Nectar!

He laps the last few drops up then straightens back to a seat (pressing the 'Y' on the way), grinning. "Trust me, it was my pleasure," he says. He's still jerking himself off.

The driver's mother had taught him manners! Admittedly, not manners she thought would apply to this situation, but manners all the same!

He reaches over with one hand and starts to jerk Oliver off, glancing at him occasionally while mostly keeping his eyes on the road.

This guy is adorable. How on Earth did Oliver ever fail to notice that guys can be adorable?

"If I'm about to come I'm going to tell you. Don't wanna get all messy here."

Wow, what a bizarre coincidence, there's an empty parking spot he can pull over into right here.

He swallows Oliver's cock into his throat like a starving man who has just encountered a Thanksgiving meal.

Oh. Okay, then, thank you wizard sex game. He closes his eyes and grabs the driver by the hair—gently, Oliver doesn't know if he's into that—and bites his lip, breathing heavily. He's slightly above average in size, but only slightly, so driver should probably have no problems there.

The driver chokes on Oliver's cock, pulls off briefly, then goes at it with a renewed determination. 

He makes a little fluttery moan when Oliver's hands touch his hair. 

That's promising. Maybe Oliver can grab a bit harder, and start leading him?

He can totally do that! The driver will make louder moans! He will also choke slightly more often, but that does not dampen his enthusiasm. 

Oliver is a fast learner, he can figure out what the best rhythm for his toy driver is.

And for himself. He starts getting closer and closer, wills his left hand not to flap—flapping is not hot—and his breaths get shallower and more ragged. "Ah—aah—aah I'm going to come soon—"

The driver continues to suck, maintaining a smooth and easy rhythm. 

Then Oliver is going to come into his mouth, too. Presumably he doesn't taste like coconut to other people, but maybe he can turn other people into wizards later and then he will. In the meantime, though, he shoots load after load into the driver's mouth (not too much, though, he already came today), releasing a shaky breath and grinning widely down at him. He decides he wants to pet him.

The driver purrs when he's petted.

"God, you're adorable," Oliver giggles. "I kinda wanna kiss you now."

The driver kisses him! Kisses all around! 

He does not taste of coconut.

Well, he has ever tried his own cum, out of scientific curiosity, so he's not surprised by the taste.

...it's actually kinda hot, really. He gets really into the kiss, and even though he literally just came kissing the mouth that just swallowed his cum is, well. An interesting experience.

The driver is also enthusiastic!

After some time, he pulls away and says "uh, I think I should get you to your destination, shouldn't I?"

"Mmm, I think you should, yes."

The driver keeps glancing at him and smiling shyly on the ride over.

Adorable.

Oliver should give him his number when they arrive.

The driver takes his number gladly! "My name's David."

"Oliver. It's been a..." He gives David a once-over, very visibly, before returning his eyes to David's face. "Pleasure to meet you."

And out the car.

The sign at the address for T. C. Coil's Escort Agency informs you it is a massage parlor. However, there are probably very few legitimate massage parlors with dark tinted windows, a bouncer, and an advertisement informing you about how hot their... masseuses... are.

...interesting. He rolls towards the door.

The bouncer barely glances up from his phone and waves Oliver in.

In he rolls. Is it wheelchair-accessible?

Look, evil sex-trafficker rapists can be ADA-compliant too.

...these ones are not but, you know, they could theoretically have been.

...seriously. Does he have literally any way of getting in? Come on, wizard sex game, you wouldn't offer him a quest like that and then make him fail step one.

Oh look there's a ramp hidden over there. How did Oliver miss it the first time? It is almost like it magically came into existence a few seconds ago.

The bouncer looks up from his phone in confusion, shrugs, and returns to his game of Clash of Champions. 

Clash of Champions? Seriously? Well, can't argue with taste.

Up the ramp!

The receptionist looks less bored and more slightly terrified.

"I'll need to see an ID and then I can take you to meet the girls," she says. "A private session is two hundred dollars an hour, paid in advance. We double as an escort agency if you'd like to schedule an outcall."

Oh no, darling, don't be terrified. He needs to burn this place to the ground. Maybe he'll get fireball sometime?

He shows her ID.

She checks it in a cursory fashion that would totally fail to detect a remotely competent fake ID.

She brings him into a waiting room that is trying to look grand but winds up at seedy. The masseuses are lounging around trying to look sexy, but the general aura of fear that hangs over the room rather spoils the effect. All of the masseuses have bruises, and most are wearing far too much foundation and eye makeup.

Good Lord, does this guy get literally any money?

...is that girl from earlier anywhere here?

It turns out that terrified and unable to say no is a depressingly popular sexual interest.

The girl from earlier is lying on a couch in the corner, not even trying to be sexy. She seems to have just come back from an outcall.

"Her," he says, pointing.

A flash of tiredness and dread crosses her face, smoothly replaced with a smile.

"Please pay in advance, sir," the receptionist says, "and I'll take you to your room."

He is more than happy to pay in advance.

Room?

The room is clean but sparsely decorated. The walls are hospital off-white. The bed dominates the room, the sheets threadbare from frequent washing. 

The receptionist leaves. The girl begins mechanically to disrobe.

He looks around for a writing apparatus and paper or something, and tries to see whether there are detectable cameras anywhere.

There's a security camera in the corner, but no paper unless he brought it.

He frowns at the camera. "Stop," he tells her. "I don't really fancy having an audience," he says, pointing at it.

"It's for your own security, sir."

"Bullshit, they wouldn't offer outcalls if they were that worried about security."

The girl has a pained expression. "Excuse me." She leaves and returns. "The camera is off now, sir." The camera's blinking light has been turned off.

"For some reason I think I don't believe that. How much more for an outcall?"

"Outcall is $50 extra, sir."

"Then I would like that, please."

She asks for his address, notes it down, and then leaves.

If Oliver calls another Uber he can make some progress on Sex Drive and earn a second nectar. 

...he's kinda not in the mood, actually. He'll call an Uber but not respond to advances.

That is reasonable. 

The driver totally ignores him!

Good! So he gets back home, then, and waits.

The woman appears and once again begins to disrobe.

"Do it in the bathroom, please. Take off all your clothes and jewelry, then walk to my room."

A few minutes later, the woman appears naked and jewelry-free in his room. 

He rolls over to the bathroom, closes its door, then rolls over to his room, closes its door, then grabs a piece of paper and writes: "Do you have any bugs or other form of surveillance on you?"

She takes a piece of paper and writes "No."

He breathes out then grabs his bedsheet and throws it towards her, then covers his face with both hands. "You can cover yourself, if you like. Jesus fuck that place is horrible. You can sit, if you like. Or, not, up to you. God fucking damnit."

She remains standing and naked. "Can we skip this part?"

"I'm not roleplaying, I just—I'm sorry. I don't wanna have sex with you," no matter how hot and pretty she is, he's getting a boner that he does not want, "I want to burn that place to the ground."

"Look, I know you're one of his spies and you're here to test my loyalty. I'm not going to try to escape. He has my papers. You can tell Coil that and skip all this acting, it's humiliating."

"Oh my God of course that fucker has spies—how do I—look, I'm not a spy, I'm a cripple who saw you in the lift earlier today and found out about that horrid place and—how do I even prove that to you," he says, running his hand through his hair. He looks down and mutters to himself, hoping it's too low for her to hear: "Maybe I have a spell that'll help, manual, spells?"

Failing to convince Amanda of a true yet highly implausible fact has unlocked the spell Just Follow the Fucking Rabbit!

Manual // Spells

Wizard's Body: Lvl MAX
Wizard's Mind: Lvl MAX
Wizard's World: Lvl MAX
Masturbate: Lvl 1
Determination: Lvl 1
Calling an Uber: Lvl 1
The Nectar: Lvl 1
Just Follow the Fucking Rabbit: Lvl 1

Oh right that nectar spell he'd forgotten. But this new one looks useful.

"Manual, spells, just follow the fucking rabbit?"

Manual // Spells // Just Follow the Fucking Rabbit

Just Follow the Fucking Rabbit: Lvl 1. Active. DOM / Special.

Convince one other person of one very implausible fact which happens to be true. This spell cannot cause someone to act contrary to their interests or desires, but it can convince them that the event is not hallucinatory, that the police will listen to them, or that it's fine not to use protection this time. Costs DOM equal to twice the WIZ corresponding to the minimum improbability threshold for the event, divided by the Lvl of the skill.

Dressing as a sexy bunny reduces the cost of this skill by 50%.

...he hopes he has enough DOM. He must have, right, from that thing in the car?

"Okay, just follow the fucking rabbit for a moment, here. I'm not working for Coil."

"You're right, it would be very weird for him to hire a disabled person." She looks at him with renewed hope. "Do you mean... you can help me escape?"

"You can bet your fucking ass I can. ...now that you believe me, do you wanna sit, cover yourself, do you want some water?"

"Yes, yes, and yes."

"Okay, I'll be right back.—do your clothes have wires or anything like that? Otherwise you can just fetch them back."

"Probably not? I don't actually know, they say sometimes he borrows equipment from the police... can I borrow some clothes from you just to be on the safe side?"

"Yeah, sure, raid my closet." He rolls to the kitchen then back with a glass of water.

She looks really cute wearing his shirt! It's much too big for her!

...do not get attracted to her, that would be wrong.

He offers her the water. "I want to end that place. I have no idea how to do it but I can do impossible things. I need to know more about it, though. Oh and I also know for a fact that he has some police connections."

"Yeah, I know, I had to give the cops free blowjobs." She accepts the water gratefully. "We're all immigrants. Some of us are here illegally, and he steals the papers of the other ones, so if we try to run the police will find us and deport us."

"Good God, what a fucking creep."

"He's so awful." She sips the water. "I think if you can swing killing him you should."

"I don't know if that'd work, though, not if he has the police in his pocket. Like, if he dies, then what do I do with the papers? How do I make sure you and everyone else isn't gonna get deported or worse?"

"For people like me, who are here legally, you could just steal the papers back. For the others... I don't know. If you make it chaotic enough, maybe they can escape?"

"There's an idea. What more can you tell me about how he runs everything?"

"I don't know what you mean."

"Like... The spy thing, that was useful to know. How many people work for him? How many of you are there? How tight is security, how often does he visit, where does he live and work..."

"I don't know most of that, he likes keeping things secret... there's about two dozen of us. Coil's around a lot, he doesn't trust anyone else to keep a firm hand on us. I think the spies are mostly just people he gives money to so they can test us. Caleb's the only real security employee and I don't think he's a bad person, he's just really oblivious."

"...hm. How oblivious? What do you think he'd do if he knew?"

"I'm not actually sure that he knows that he's not security for a normal massage parlor? I have no idea what he'd do, actually, he's a nice enough guy but he doesn't care about anything except stupid phone games."

Sigh. "D'you know where he keeps the documents?"

She sketches on her piece of paper. Office here, hallway here, various bedrooms here, here, and here. "I don't know what this room is," she says, "we're not allowed in."

"Innnnteresting. Who watches the surveillance cameras?"

"He has a security guard. He isn't allowed to talk to us, though."

"So Caleb isn't the only one responsible for all security there."

"Oh, yeah, I guess I didn't think of the other guard. We don't exactly see him much."

"Does he go into that room when he does show up? Or are the videos watched from elsewhere?"

"He goes into the room."

"Alright. I think I have an idea. Do you know whether he sells girls?"