A man grumbles at the cold. He always grumbles at the cold, here. Everyone does. There's no escaping it. You can wear the warmest clothing possible, sit by a roaring fire, and still the cold bites. It doesn't numb, either, you'd think that after a while you'd just go numb - no. It's not that kind of cold. The victim shivers and curses and bundles up with a thousand layers and still it's so cold that it hurts. Almost everyone here travels from tiny insufficient fire to tiny insufficient fire to insufficient and drafty bar run by a terrifying dragon, trying to stave off the cold. It never works, but it makes it slightly less torturous. And cursing and grumbling at it always helps.
He is not staying here any longer than he has to. He is not going to fucking stay here, no way. He's been through too much to languish as a sacrificial lamb in the eighth circle of hell while an archdevil goes on a rampage. Cania's for traitors. And he's not one. He was loyal until the day he - well, not died. Was banished. And he doesn't deserve to be here.
He'll find a way out. Eventually. And then someone's going to have a very bad day.
But he's not thinking about that right now. He's thinking that he's pretty sure some vital parts are going to turn blue and fall off from the cold, so he's picked the warmest of his available frigid options to try and plan his next move. He'll take the bar with the dragon. He opens the door -
...
And this is not the bar with the dragon. It's much, much warmer.
His head screams trap, but he can't bring himself to close the door and walk away. Inside he goes, shivering. Warmth.
Generated:
Post last updated:
Just a bit chilly
Veron
furtive_heroics
It is toasty! There is a roaring fire that really, truly heats the room. The exploding stars are presumably not contributing to the temperature, but they're still pretty.
Veron
furtive_heroics
He makes a beeline for warmth. Fireplace. Fireplace fireplace fireplace no more freaky impossible hell-cold, just good proper nonmagical fire warmth.
Well. It might be magic. He wouldn't really care if it was. He's been through a lot, lately. He doesn't even give the exploding stars a second glance, just thinks, Oh look more weird shit and then hopes to Tymora he won't need to kill another dracolich.
Warmth warmth warmth. He warms up. While looking around for the catch, because this is definitely a trap, or some kind of illusion. Something's about to eat his brain. Do mindflayers go to hell? Who even knows. Maybe.
Well. It might be magic. He wouldn't really care if it was. He's been through a lot, lately. He doesn't even give the exploding stars a second glance, just thinks, Oh look more weird shit and then hopes to Tymora he won't need to kill another dracolich.
Warmth warmth warmth. He warms up. While looking around for the catch, because this is definitely a trap, or some kind of illusion. Something's about to eat his brain. Do mindflayers go to hell? Who even knows. Maybe.
The place is empty. Bar with no beverages, sofas, tables, booths, doors, stairs.
Veron
furtive_heroics
Okay. That's fine by him, he guesses. He'll just hang out by the fire.
He has to start peeling off layers if he wants to be comfortable. He considers, and then decides against it, and instead steps away from the fire to get to investigating. If this is a very well-made illusion, he doesn't want to actually cause himself to freeze to death if he's wandering around a tundra. Can someone die in hell? He doesn't know. He hasn't asked. Probably.
He investigates. No bartender, but the bar's too small for a dragon, so that's - nice. He guesses. No dragon bartender this time. Slightly less weird to go with his morning breakfast, he'll take it. Is there a note at the bar? 'Back in five minutes' maybe?
He has to start peeling off layers if he wants to be comfortable. He considers, and then decides against it, and instead steps away from the fire to get to investigating. If this is a very well-made illusion, he doesn't want to actually cause himself to freeze to death if he's wandering around a tundra. Can someone die in hell? He doesn't know. He hasn't asked. Probably.
He investigates. No bartender, but the bar's too small for a dragon, so that's - nice. He guesses. No dragon bartender this time. Slightly less weird to go with his morning breakfast, he'll take it. Is there a note at the bar? 'Back in five minutes' maybe?
There no note at the -
There is a note at the bar, and it says, Hello. Can I interest you in a beverage?
There is a note at the bar, and it says, Hello. Can I interest you in a beverage?
Veron
furtive_heroics
The bar is the bartender.
Okay.
"What would it cost me?" he wonders, because with illusions sometimes you have to play along to find the catch. And sometimes playing along draws you deeper and deeper and deeper until there's no way out and someone comes across your skeleton centuries later...
First is free. After that, reasonable currency-dependent prices.
Veron
furtive_heroics
Yeah okay. Right. The first is free. And then you can't resist the second that steals your soul, or something. Come into my parlor, said the spider to the fly, and all of that nonsense.
"No thanks," he says, and he sits at the bar. "So. Uh. What's the explanation for - this?"
"No thanks," he says, and he sits at the bar. "So. Uh. What's the explanation for - this?"
This is Milliways, an interdimensional, magical bar. Its door replaces other doors with itself unpredictably; when you depart you should find yourself in the same place and time you left. I am afraid that I do not have a full accounting of the establishment's origins.
Veron
furtive_heroics
"Can I depart to places that aren't where I last left? And how do you do the time-stop thing, please tell me this isn't a wizard's bar, I don't want to deal with another crazy wizard that's upset about people existing nearby and wants to express this with, with, what was it last time, fire breathing frog people I think."
If another patron holds the door for you, you may exit to their world instead. I do not do the time-stop thing; it is a property of the door. And I can't even remember the last time fire-breathing frog people visited, but if they did and they troubled you in some violent way within the main bar area Security would apprehend them.
Veron
furtive_heroics
"And Security's... what, exactly? Like how good is Security at Securitying, can they beat an archdevil, and do I need to worry about upsetting them?"
Security is, by mechanisms opaque to me, calibrated for whoever is in the bar during their shift. It is invariably the case that if some patron makes a scene, Security on shift at that time will be equipped to apprehend them.
Veron
furtive_heroics
"... Okay." That - almost makes sense, in a terrifying all powerful entity controlling the place kind of way. If it wasn't an illusion. Which it is. He looks around at the empty bar. "I get the impression that there are usually more patrons than this?"
Usually, yes. You just missed a bachelorette party and before that an impromptu karaoke session which went on for twelve days straight. If you wait someone else will be along or downstairs eventually.
Veron
furtive_heroics
He has visions of devils singing karaoke for twelve days straight. He shudders.
"Okay."
How does one crack an illusion? Usually by pointing out the leaps in logic, he thinks. Or asking for information it can't provide.
"Is there a library in here somwhere, or is it just the drinks?"
"Okay."
How does one crack an illusion? Usually by pointing out the leaps in logic, he thinks. Or asking for information it can't provide.
"Is there a library in here somwhere, or is it just the drinks?"
I can provide books for borrowing or sale as well as drinks, food, and other nonmagical medium-sized nonweapon nonliving objects.
Veron
furtive_heroics
Okay. Books it is.
"Can I have a book on," what does he need, that hell can't get him, "the doctrines for new clerics of," least hellish god he can think of, "Lathander?"
Shit that's too common, that's easy, he needs to pick something weirder, more there-is-no-way-you-could-get-this-legitimately...
"Can I have a book on," what does he need, that hell can't get him, "the doctrines for new clerics of," least hellish god he can think of, "Lathander?"
Shit that's too common, that's easy, he needs to pick something weirder, more there-is-no-way-you-could-get-this-
Bar produces a book on Lathander. Lathander's Servants: Guidelines and Fables.
Veron
furtive_heroics
Yeah, too easy.
Can't be something he actually knows by heart because he's probably a focus for this, has to be something not common but something he doesn't know and can recognize.
... This is hard. He flips through the book on Guidelines and Fables while he thinks.
Then he asks for the blueprints for the Valsharess's palace. Could he recognize it? Yeah. He did storm the place and then get banished in the throne room of it. Does he know it at all? Hell no. Is it damned uncommon? Ha. He suspects anyone that actually had the plans in the Underdark would be killed, let alone anyone on the surface even knowing about it.
Can't be something he actually knows by heart because he's probably a focus for this, has to be something not common but something he doesn't know and can recognize.
... This is hard. He flips through the book on Guidelines and Fables while he thinks.
Then he asks for the blueprints for the Valsharess's palace. Could he recognize it? Yeah. He did storm the place and then get banished in the throne room of it. Does he know it at all? Hell no. Is it damned uncommon? Ha. He suspects anyone that actually had the plans in the Underdark would be killed, let alone anyone on the surface even knowing about it.
That's not a published work, says the Bar. I cannot produce private documents.
Veron
furtive_heroics
Mark against you, magic illusion bar. Veron's keeping count.
What was that book of poetry Valen liked...? Some weird little book from some weird little place that's far far away that Valen picked up while in Sigil?
He names the author and the book out of some cobweb filled corner of his mind.
What was that book of poetry Valen liked...? Some weird little book from some weird little place that's far far away that Valen picked up while in Sigil?
He names the author and the book out of some cobweb filled corner of his mind.
Book.
Veron
furtive_heroics
Book.
He finds that poem Valen turned into a song and hummed when he was bored and. Has a problem with his eyes blurring and hastily puts the book back on the bar before he gets too caught up in - in - his various amounts of trauma. Yes. Let's not deal with his various amounts of trauma. Later, maybe. Get a tiny house in the middle of nowhere and sob for days or something.
He can't think about what new book to test the bar on, though. So he just - talks.
"So if this is for real, how come no one's ever heard of it before? You'd think someone would have."
He finds that poem Valen turned into a song and hummed when he was bored and. Has a problem with his eyes blurring and hastily puts the book back on the bar before he gets too caught up in - in - his various amounts of trauma. Yes. Let's not deal with his various amounts of trauma. Later, maybe. Get a tiny house in the middle of nowhere and sob for days or something.
He can't think about what new book to test the bar on, though. So he just - talks.
"So if this is for real, how come no one's ever heard of it before? You'd think someone would have."
That depends on how frequently the door has appeared in your world and to whom. Since doors are usually not reproducible at whim, it is often difficult to prove that one has visited, and Milliways's existence is not public knowledge on most worlds.
Veron
furtive_heroics
He tries to figure out how no one would know about it, and then corrects that it doesn't necessarily mean no one would know, just that no one's told him. And while Drogan was an excellent teacher his lessons were all about practicality, not lore, and then he was wandering all over the plane of shadow and the Underdark and hell and why wouldn't people want to keep information about this place away from the people that live in those places?
Well. Maybe not everyone in the plane of shadow. But the Underdark and hell? Definitely.
But then again, that's awfully convenient, if there's one thing bad guys are good at it's finding inconvenient truths and twisting them to their advantage to try to end the world, maybe, or take over the world.
Yeah, okay, he doesn't have the head for this right now, he's stuck on the trauma.
"Can you please prove you're not an illusion or something, because I just came from hell and the most likely thing you are is an illusion," he says, a bit plaintively.
Well. Maybe not everyone in the plane of shadow. But the Underdark and hell? Definitely.
But then again, that's awfully convenient, if there's one thing bad guys are good at it's finding inconvenient truths and twisting them to their advantage to try to end the world, maybe, or take over the world.
Yeah, okay, he doesn't have the head for this right now, he's stuck on the trauma.
"Can you please prove you're not an illusion or something, because I just came from hell and the most likely thing you are is an illusion," he says, a bit plaintively.
I'm told I have attractive and suitably detailed woodgrain.
Veron
furtive_heroics
...
Yeah okay, that works.
He stares at the woodgrain, looking for little flaws or repeats or slightly off edges or blurry bits or things that change just a little bit when you look away -
...
Nothing. All the same. Detailed and woodgrain-like.
"Excuse me a minute," he says, and he gets up and inspects everything else in the bar, for the itty bitty obsessive details. Are they right? Do they move? Do they repeat? Do they make sense?
Yes, no, no, and yes.
Well.
He sits at the bar again.
"So this is actually just a, a, a bar. That borrows doors."
Yeah okay, that works.
He stares at the woodgrain, looking for little flaws or repeats or slightly off edges or blurry bits or things that change just a little bit when you look away -
...
Nothing. All the same. Detailed and woodgrain-like.
"Excuse me a minute," he says, and he gets up and inspects everything else in the bar, for the itty bitty obsessive details. Are they right? Do they move? Do they repeat? Do they make sense?
Yes, no, no, and yes.
Well.
He sits at the bar again.
"So this is actually just a, a, a bar. That borrows doors."
Well, it's a little more fully featured than your average single-dimensional brewhouse, but yes.
Veron
furtive_heroics
"And time is actually paused outside and I have all of the time in the world."
That feature is not absolutely consistent, but it may generally be relied upon.
Veron
furtive_heroics
"Okay," he says, in a small voice.
And then very carefully he supports his head on the bar and mutters, "Tymora, I will never ever say you never got me anything."
Pause.
"I'll have that drink now, if and only if it won't addict me to anything or take my soul or turn me into a slave or a rabbit or teleport me to Mephistopheles naked or anything else I wouldn't appreciate." Hey, it's the devil side of hell, they're sticklers for rules.
And then very carefully he supports his head on the bar and mutters, "Tymora, I will never ever say you never got me anything."
Pause.
"I'll have that drink now, if and only if it won't addict me to anything or take my soul or turn me into a slave or a rabbit or teleport me to Mephistopheles naked or anything else I wouldn't appreciate." Hey, it's the devil side of hell, they're sticklers for rules.
I would never, Bar assures him, and she gets him a mug of delicious spiced hot cider.
Veron
furtive_heroics
"Thank you," he says, and then he picks up his hot cider and considers it for a long moment.
...
Sip?
...
Mmmm delicious. But he could put it down and walk away, no problem. Sip.
After several minutes of this he calms down enough to peel off three of his jackets, stashing them in a booth and drinking his cider. It has been too damn long since he could do this. It's fantastic.
...
Sip?
...
Mmmm delicious. But he could put it down and walk away, no problem. Sip.
After several minutes of this he calms down enough to peel off three of his jackets, stashing them in a booth and drinking his cider. It has been too damn long since he could do this. It's fantastic.
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
The door opens.
Veron
furtive_heroics
He straightens up at once and looks for an exit and assesses the potential threat and mentally goes over his list of weapons and -
..........
Security apparently has it covered.
He settles back down in his chair and will just. Wait and see.
"Hi," he says, a touch nervous.
..........
Security apparently has it covered.
He settles back down in his chair and will just. Wait and see.
"Hi," he says, a touch nervous.
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"Hi. So what are the extraplanar studies people up to this time?"
Veron
furtive_heroics
"... Um. Well, this is Milliways, apparently. And apparently the door will take you right back to where you were and time's paused while you're away." Pause. "And it's not an illusion, I checked, wood grain all makes sense and the bar can get you books and they have information that's actually information instead of gibberish. And none of the information came from me."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"What kinda low-grade illusions are you accustomed to?"
Veron
furtive_heroics
He's briefly at a loss for words there.
"I haven't really had to deal with many illusions," he says. Because he hasn't. Just being turned to stone or fighting vampires or sneaking into kobold lairs or helping golems negotiate or helping crazy cursed people become un-cursed - "But, maybe wistful thinking on my part, but I would really like it to be real."
"I haven't really had to deal with many illusions," he says. Because he hasn't. Just being turned to stone or fighting vampires or sneaking into kobold lairs or helping golems negotiate or helping crazy cursed people become un-cursed - "But, maybe wistful thinking on my part, but I would really like it to be real."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"Oh, it's probably real, I'm just not sure why your distinguishing criterion is detail."
Veron
furtive_heroics
"With the illusions I'm used to on Toril, it was the little details that were where you saw through it. Repeats in little things that wouldn't repeat in ordinary circumstances, or logic that didn't quite make sense while your head was all fuzzy and you stopped to think about it, or - I mean, I don't have a lot of experience with it. I'm not an expert on the subject. But I keep not getting tricked by the few illusions I've been up against, so it seems to work okay." Pause. "Unless of course this is an illusion, and then I will have my words with a side of mead to drown my sorrows."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
Snort. "It looks like extraplanar studies people got a little too creative near the supply closet, not an illusion. There's no motive for it to be an illusion, anyway. Toril's your plane?"
Veron
furtive_heroics
"Mhm. Bit of a mess, and you can't walk anywhere without tripping over something bizarre, but it's home." And currently having an archdevil problem, that's great. "What about yours?"
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"I'm not sure if it's got a name besides 'Prime Material'."
Veron
furtive_heroics
"I bet it does. Everyone thinks their plane's the main one until they go to another plane and get told that the people there think theirs is the main one."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"I haven't gone into enough thaumatology to say if there's a good reason to call mine that."
Veron
furtive_heroics
Shrug. "Might just be easier that way."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"Maybe. There's worse reasons."
Veron
furtive_heroics
"There are!" Sip. Delicious cider. Gosh it's great to pretend that everything is normal and that his world isn't in peril. For a little while.
....
Ugh nevermind now he has to work to go save it, that's his home. Smalltalk to find out what she has, do not mention the archdevil. He will have exactly zero helpful people if he says that he wants to stop an archdevil.
"So um, I'm Veron, my job description seems to be adventuring now because I keep tripping over adventures and handling them competently. What do you do?"
....
Ugh nevermind now he has to work to go save it, that's his home. Smalltalk to find out what she has, do not mention the archdevil. He will have exactly zero helpful people if he says that he wants to stop an archdevil.
"So um, I'm Veron, my job description seems to be adventuring now because I keep tripping over adventures and handling them competently. What do you do?"
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"I'm a subtle arts major, sophomore year."
Veron
furtive_heroics
"Subtle arts?" he asks, because the only subtle art he's ever heard of is the art of cheating at cards without getting your teeth knocked in.
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"Maybe you call them psionics or something? Not a technical term, but whatever. Oh, and I am not reading your mind, I don't have that problem."
Veron
furtive_heroics
"Oh! Psionics! Yes, I know what those are. Okay. Thanks for not reading my mind, I appreciate it." He is good enough at controlling himself that he doesn't scoot away, and - well. He's fought mindflayers. Mindflayers. Walked into their base and then said, 'Why no I do not want to give you the magic thing you want instead you can go straight to hell' instead of not doing a stupid crazy suicidal thing like that. A psionic in college is kind of - not as scary, in comparison.
(Though he prods at the mental techniques The Seer walked him through for resisting mind tampering. Up they go. Safety.)
"Is it a specialty school or something?"
(Though he prods at the mental techniques The Seer walked him through for resisting mind tampering. Up they go. Safety.)
"Is it a specialty school or something?"
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"No, there's non-subtle-artists there too."
Veron
furtive_heroics
"Huh. Cool. Good luck with it." Pause. "... I technically never graduated from my school, did I, huh."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"Couldn't tell you."
Veron
furtive_heroics
Snort. "Be a bit creeped out if you could."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"I don't blame you. But you are not a volunteer practice subject, so."
Veron
furtive_heroics
He considers.
"I don't mind being a volunteer practice subject if you need the practice, I could use the practice on the defensive side too. Keep the mindflayers on their toes if I have to fight more of them."
"I don't mind being a volunteer practice subject if you need the practice, I could use the practice on the defensive side too. Keep the mindflayers on their toes if I have to fight more of them."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"That's not usually the kind of practice I'm assigned, but I guess it probably wouldn't hurt? As long as this is, like, shield defense and not offense-is-the-best defense."
Veron
furtive_heroics
"Shield defense. I'm not trained in, uh, subtle arts offensively. Just defense. A bit shoddily, too, we were kind of in a rush. And I wouldn't stab you or anything."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"Right then. What do you want me to try to do?"
Veron
furtive_heroics
"Uhh. I'm not sure. What can you do?"
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"Read surface thoughts, read memories, knock you unconscious, it gets a little more not-so-much-for-practicing from there?"
Veron
furtive_heroics
"Surface thoughts works. And yeah, let's not go with not-so-much-for-practicing."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"Sure. And I will back off if you think that you wish you had not just thought a thing."
Veron
furtive_heroics
"Thank you for not being terrible. Ready when you are. ... Though the, uh, Bar might want us to move or something."
None of the described falls definitively under establishment violence rules apart from unconsciousness.
Veron
furtive_heroics
"Okay. Making sure." Pause. "The bar's sentient and is the bartender, by the way. And can conjure drinks and books and food."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"Yes, I noticed."
Veron
furtive_heroics
"Ah, right. That makes sense."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"Yep. Say when."
Veron
furtive_heroics
"When."
He thinks slippery thoughts.
This makes him actually really tricky to read.
He thinks slippery thoughts.
This makes him actually really tricky to read.
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"Yeah, this is pretty hard," she comments.
Veron
furtive_heroics
"I don't actually know how to walk you through getting around what I've got," he comments, and he's not sure he would if he could, "but I imagine the practice is just helpful for us both?"
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"Yeah, probably."
Veron
furtive_heroics
"Let me know if you make it past."
There's a pattern to it. In the middle of combat it'd probably be hard to find the weak points in his defenses, but sitting in a bar in peace and quiet gives her all of the time in the world to find them. And there are weaknesses.
They might need vocabulary for this. Veron doesn't have any to speak of.
There's a pattern to it. In the middle of combat it'd probably be hard to find the weak points in his defenses, but sitting in a bar in peace and quiet gives her all of the time in the world to find them. And there are weaknesses.
They might need vocabulary for this. Veron doesn't have any to speak of.
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
Bella does but it's all telepathic in nature.
It's slippery, but only in certain "directions", and that means that if she can catch threads she can just slide right through -
It's slippery, but only in certain "directions", and that means that if she can catch threads she can just slide right through -
Veron
furtive_heroics
He's currently going over the lessons he had on this subject in his head, trying to figure out if he'd missed anything important. It's sort of fuzzy, there was a lot going on at the time.
(There is an undercurrent of 'they were about to be under attack against a force that would likely completely crush them and kill everyone involved that was on the losing side.')
(There is an undercurrent of 'they were about to be under attack against a force that would likely completely crush them and kill everyone involved that was on the losing side.')
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"Gotcha."
Veron
furtive_heroics
"Ah! How'd you get me?"
Wasn't there a way to detect someone reading his mind? He could have sworn there was a way to detect someone reading his mind, he just can't recall what it was, it was all - practicality. This is what you need to know so an illithid doesn't turn your brain into goo.
Wasn't there a way to detect someone reading his mind? He could have sworn there was a way to detect someone reading his mind, he just can't recall what it was, it was all - practicality. This is what you need to know so an illithid doesn't turn your brain into goo.
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"I... am not used to describing it aloud? I can bounce the memory if you want it?"
Veron
furtive_heroics
"Sure, go ahead. I can drop the - thing for a bit if you need that."
The Seer had given it a very fancy and official name, but he cannot at all recall what it was. Just how to do it. That's the important part.
The Seer had given it a very fancy and official name, but he cannot at all recall what it was. Just how to do it. That's the important part.
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"Sure."
When it's down, she bounces.
When it's down, she bounces.
Veron
furtive_heroics
He considers this.
"Oh, I see what's happening," he says after studying it for a little while. "Hm, I wonder if I can account for that. Are you willing to humor me trying stuff?"
"Oh, I see what's happening," he says after studying it for a little while. "Hm, I wonder if I can account for that. Are you willing to humor me trying stuff?"
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"For a while, anyway."
Veron
furtive_heroics
That is entirely reasonable. He wouldn't want someone to take up all of his time, either.
He puts his defenses back up, and then tries what he's thinking of.
The first few times don't work, but after a third, the "directions" of the slippery start changing.
He puts his defenses back up, and then tries what he's thinking of.
The first few times don't work, but after a third, the "directions" of the slippery start changing.
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"This is harder," Bella says approvingly.
Veron
furtive_heroics
"Oh, good. For a bit there I thought I wasn't on to anything at all. ... Would learning defenses help you at all? I imagine you have your own, but mine might help add something unexpected to them, since I'm from far away and have weird techniques because of that."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"I actually have really good natural shielding, but I wouldn't mind having better."
Veron
furtive_heroics
"Well, c'mon in, I'll just review the thing I'm doing in my head for you."
Down go the defenses!
Down go the defenses!
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"Thanks!"
Peer peer.
Peer peer.
Veron
furtive_heroics
He is doing this in this sort of way for the slippery in "directions," it involves this hard-to-put-into-words-thing, and then to make it switch "directions" he just does the same thing, but from a different "start" point, like this, see? And he can switch that periodically. It takes a bit of concentration, but it'd be worth it to keep someone out that he wants out.
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"Nice. High-maintenance for everyday, but good in a crisis."
Veron
furtive_heroics
"Yeah. I don't actually know anything for when you're not in a crisis."
According to the illithids he has a trickier mind than usual, but he doesn't know how to box that quality up and put it into a teaching format.
According to the illithids he has a trickier mind than usual, but he doesn't know how to box that quality up and put it into a teaching format.
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"I can't really help you, my shields are self-maintaining and I don't do a thing about it."
Veron
furtive_heroics
He nods. This is fine by him, he's not really disappointed. It happens.
She did help him get a better shield, anyway! Which is pretty great in itself.
She did help him get a better shield, anyway! Which is pretty great in itself.
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"So you're some kind of delver?"
Veron
furtive_heroics
Sort of. Not on purpose. It kind of all spiralled after some kobolds broke into his teacher's school and stole stuff and he at one point in time saved the world from a crazy medusa with a flying city and then he was trapped in the plane of shadow for who knows how long and then -
Right, bit too much, out of his head please, he'll explain this out loud. It'll make more sense that way. Also he can skip over the things he would like to skip over.
(He was briefly a slave, for instance, that was unpleasant.)
Right, bit too much, out of his head please, he'll explain this out loud. It'll make more sense that way. Also he can skip over the things he would like to skip over.
(He was briefly a slave, for instance, that was unpleasant.)
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"Hello? I'm not still reading you, if you want to have a telepathic conversation we can do that but I prefer more explicit ongoing agreement."
Veron
furtive_heroics
Blink.
"Oh, that - makes sense. And is very reasonable. Yes, thanks, I had actually just thought 'please stop reading me.'" (Shield back up, because practice and like. He will not just be coasting on friendly feelings anymore, he will actually be thinking.) "Sorry about that. I sort of am? It didn't exactly happen on purpose. My teacher took me in because I had nowhere to go, and he sort of taught a school for adventurers. And then some kobolds broke into the school and stole some things and since I was the, uh, most competent student there," and most able to steal something back without getting caught, "and my teacher was gravely injured, I got asked to try and fetch them. And it uh. All kind of spiralled from there and the next thing I know I'm talking to a dragon."
"Oh, that - makes sense. And is very reasonable. Yes, thanks, I had actually just thought 'please stop reading me.'" (Shield back up, because practice and like. He will not just be coasting on friendly feelings anymore, he will actually be thinking.) "Sorry about that. I sort of am? It didn't exactly happen on purpose. My teacher took me in because I had nowhere to go, and he sort of taught a school for adventurers. And then some kobolds broke into the school and stole some things and since I was the, uh, most competent student there," and most able to steal something back without getting caught, "and my teacher was gravely injured, I got asked to try and fetch them. And it uh. All kind of spiralled from there and the next thing I know I'm talking to a dragon."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"Yeesh."
Veron
furtive_heroics
"I mean he was actually quite a cordial dragon, if completely terrifying. But yeah. Turned out one of the stolen things was the key to, uh, turning on a flying magic city and that a medusa wanted it to take over the world, I - think. She wouldn't have managed it, probably, but would have broken lots of things. And adventures happened and I ended up as the only person in the flying city that wasn't, well, terrible. So um. Yeah. I stopped her, and got trapped in the plane of shadow for my trouble for - I'm not sure how long. When I got out and back in Toril I sort of landed in a warzone where I got guilted into helping with a dungeon that was spitting out terrible things at the people above, because everyone else that was supposed to help with that problem stupidly ran in unprepared like idiots and got themselves killed. And then I was put under a geas and had to help with a slightly hopeless if very well motivated war effort and kill a magic queen and I think you see the pattern to my life."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"Epic," comments Bella. "Do you still have the geas?"
Veron
furtive_heroics
"No, I fulfilled its requirements." And then got banished to hell. Sigh.
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"That's good at least."
Veron
furtive_heroics
"Yeah. Apparently time's paused outside while I'm in here, so I'm kind of taking advantage. I'm hoping I can find a helpful person to help me swat the, uh, latest problem that's occurred in my life." Pause. "Also just. Not. Doing things. Not doing things is pretty great."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"I don't even approach epic, so I don't think I'll be much good. I'm not even planning on it if I can possibly avoid it. I'm going to get my degree and my master's and do a nice quiet life of therapy practice and charity work and dabbling in arcana."
Veron
furtive_heroics
"Yeah, no problem. It's kind of the sort of thing I wouldn't want to drag random bystanders into anyway. ... Smart move on getting into therapy. It's - yeah, therapists. The world really needs more of them. Or mine does, anyway."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"It's the obvious thing to do with enough subtle arts oomph. Nice and safe too."
Veron
furtive_heroics
"I wish you a nice, safe, long happy life," says Veron, sincerely. "No dragons. Or medusas. Or dracoliches."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"Some gorgons are reasonably friendly, but thank you."
Veron
furtive_heroics
"I've probably become biased by now on the subject of medusas, I should work on that," he agrees. "Sorry."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"Nah, I get it, it's hard not to flinch when somebody new matches whatever seemed most important about somebody who hurt you."
Veron
furtive_heroics
"Yes. That. Thank you for being understanding."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"Hey, I haven't had actual therapy classes per se yet but I can try."
Veron
furtive_heroics
"I think the mindset's probably more important than a lot of the specifics. Often I find that people just need someone to talk to."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"Or explain things. I somehow wound up Designated Humans Explainer at school. People come up to me at lunch and ask what doilies are for and why the human sex drive is so low and stuff."
Veron
furtive_heroics
Snrk.
"That," he says, "is a noble endeavor, and I wish you the best of luck with it."
"That," he says, "is a noble endeavor, and I wish you the best of luck with it."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"It's kind of fun? Figuring out ways to put it in plain language."
Veron
furtive_heroics
"Yeah - I have a kobold friend that occasionally wants things explained. Though sometimes I think he asks certain things on purpose to get an interesting reaction he can write down for his book."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"Ha. I bet that has either already happened to me or will soon enough."
Veron
furtive_heroics
"Only a matter of time. The only way to win is to get the author to like you so they write your praises."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"I don't think I've offput too many of my querents... I'm also not sure any of them have been writing books, I may just have bad luck when an authorial one comes up."
Veron
furtive_heroics
"Ah well. If you want a kobold to sing and write your praises, look up Deekin Scalesinger, he'll probably adore you. Though you might not like his writing style, it's kind of an acquired taste. And sometimes he lies extravagantly."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"Wrong plane. Interplanar travel that doesn't deposit itself in my dorm supply closet is the sort of thing I try to avoid."
Veron
furtive_heroics
Snort.
"Right, yeah. That's fair."
"Right, yeah. That's fair."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"What d'you want to do when you're out of your current mess?"
Veron
furtive_heroics
".... Sleep. For weeks. In a nice bed that is not made of spiderwebs." Pause. "After that I have absolutely no idea."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"Spiderwebs? Yikes. No offense to any subterranean elves in hearing distance but still."
Veron
furtive_heroics
"I mean it's spidersilk, but - yeah, kinda - yes. That. It's better than the previous sheet material, that was, uh, shadow cloth stuff?" Pause. "But that's not saying much, that stuff was incredibly creepy."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"Euagh."
Veron
furtive_heroics
"Sorry, I can hold back on the horror stories, if you'd rather?"
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"I don't really know how to react to them - no therapy classes yet - but if you want don't hold back on my account."
Veron
furtive_heroics
"I mean, it's mostly just a thing to me. I don't mind talking about most of it. I kind of glossed over a lot of what happened because it's just - super weird. A lot of it is super weird."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"It sounded like it might contain some super weirdness."
Veron
furtive_heroics
"I had a talking sentient sword for a while. 'Til I helped get him put into a golem, because he'd be happier that way. I built the golem on an island of golems that were having a civil war over whether to continue to listen to the doctrines of an absent master or go their own way with free will. Just. Things like that?"
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"Wow. I'm glad your sword friend is happy."
Veron
furtive_heroics
"Yeah, me too. Poor guy was trapped in a room with a bunch of undead for decades until I went and picked him up." Pause. "I hadn't touched anything in the room until he started talking, because the undead were - not sleeping, but they were not moving and there was a warning about not stealing anything in the room or I'd face their wrath, so. But then trapped person, aaaaand... Yeah. That was fun. But now he has a body and doesn't need rescue from rooms, he can just save himself."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"Good for you."
Veron
furtive_heroics
"Thanks! I couldn't just leave him there," says Veron, sounding like the very thought of doing that thing is just absurd.
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"Makes sense."
Veron
furtive_heroics
"And once they were good and properly dead, then I could nick their stuff."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"Undead scare me. No minds to just knock them over with."
Veron
furtive_heroics
"Yeah. I - don't really have a way go hand you a thing to let you summon me if you run into undead or something for me to go be heroic at whatever is causing trouble, but I'd be willing to."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"I stay on the warded paths at school. And having the ability to summon an epic undead-destroyer in my pocket sounds like it might attract more trouble than it dispelled, honestly."
Veron
furtive_heroics
"Fair. I wouldn't want to get you into trouble."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"I appreciate that!"
Veron
furtive_heroics
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"Did we ever exchange names? I'm Bella."
Veron
furtive_heroics
He had, but he doesn't mind it being forgotten. "I'm Veron."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"Charmed."
Veron
furtive_heroics
He considers making a terrible joke about making a will save, but refrains.
"Likewise!"
"Likewise!"
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"What-all kind of wherewithal do you bring on your adventurers, are you a wizard or a fighter type or what?"
Veron
furtive_heroics
"Rogue. Not one of the greedy ones that steal everything not nailed down, I should clarify, more the type to scout out an area and then disarm all of the traps and then find the thing that's upset everyone present and solve the problem without causing a fight. If I can manage it. Which sometimes I can't, but, eh."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"Snazzy. I don't have the coordination for it, and magic would be more my style if I didn't have the obvious advantage in subtle arts to leverage."
Veron
furtive_heroics
Nod. "My teacher tried to teach me a bit of magic once, as a result I can maybe read some scrolls without exploding, but casting proper spells is beyond me." Pause. "Well, mostly, I have some weirdness now that doesn't let me claim to not be magical."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"Oh?"
Veron
furtive_heroics
"Right, well, I spent a lot of time on the plane of shadows. And, uh, if you spend long enough on the plane of shadows it'll start to make you into, er, something else. So I am part human and part something else. The something else isn't murderous or anything, just - now I have perfect darkvision and can do some things with shadows. I can sort of teleport short distances, and summon a, uh, friend of mine to help me out if I need it. There's some other things, but those are a bit harder to explain."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"That all sounds reasonably useful."
Veron
furtive_heroics
"It is! I mean, mostly, looking at bright light's actually a bit uncomfortable now, and the shadow plane becomes a bit creepier when you understand some of the whispers that you can hear, and if I were to go there again and stay longer I'd start to pick up on more of the downsides so I have to stay far far away from there, even though arguably I'm at my most powerful on the plane of shadow."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"Makes sense."
Veron
furtive_heroics
"Yeah. I have - sort of weird feelings about the whole affair, but it's been very useful, so. I'm pretty okay with it now."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
Nod, nod. "Do I want to know what the whispers say?"
Veron
furtive_heroics
"Depends on which part of the plane you're on. There's - nice neighborhoods and nasty neighborhoods, I suppose is the term. Sometimes it was, uh, detailed descriptions of what it's like to be at the part of the transformation where your skin starts getting peeled off like a snake skin for new shadow skin, sometimes it's creepy threatening whispers, sometimes these weird attempts to lead me into traps, sometimes genuinely trying to help me... They vary a lot."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"Huh. I wonder how they sort themselves."
Veron
furtive_heroics
"The main way I saw was groups of people that went to the shadow plane together, and then they tended to stick together and keep everyone they don't like away from their turf. Then there's an entire system with shadow lords that hold estates and control certain areas. I um. Am technically one of them. Honorary shadow lord."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
Bella bows a little.
Veron
furtive_heroics
He ducks his head, embarrassed.
"Thanks," he says to the countertop. "I mostly leave the place in the hands of the aforementioned friend, he's very competent with it."
"Thanks," he says to the countertop. "I mostly leave the place in the hands of the aforementioned friend, he's very competent with it."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"What does shadow lording involve?"
Veron
furtive_heroics
"My first example of it was from the shadow lord I, uh, took the title from, and he had set up a tower of nefarious magical shenanigans for nefarious magics. So once I had the title, it was sort of up to me to figure out how to disentangle nefarious magic and how to take proper care of the people that weren't involved in it. And Ksxksskrth," he rattles off this name as if it's the easiest thing in the world to say, "turned out to have had opinions about the place that the previous lord hadn't listened to at all, about how to make it better and less terrible. And then I did. So we sort of worked out how to make the place run, uh, sanely, maybe class up the shadow neighborhood a bit and have pleasant creepy whispers instead of the insane magic-obsessed ones that had been there previously. That sort of thing.
"I could technically try to conquer my neighbors if I wanted to, but I really, really don't. So - kind of like a warlord, I guess? With the new warlord getting picked based off who defeated the last."
"I could technically try to conquer my neighbors if I wanted to, but I really, really don't. So - kind of like a warlord, I guess? With the new warlord getting picked based off who defeated the last."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
Nod, nod.
Veron
furtive_heroics
"But when I'm not on the plane of shadow it's just for sounding impressive."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"I'm impressed! Do I not sound impressed?"
Veron
furtive_heroics
"You sound very impressed," he assures. "Just, it's sort of weird to me. I don't feel like I should be in charge of anything, let alone an entire estate."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"Why not?"
Veron
furtive_heroics
"I don't feel very qualified. I - figured out a maze of shadow portals, killed the maniac in charge, this doesn't qualify me for being in charge of what he had, it means I'm good at problem solving and killing people. I have zero training or experience in managing anything and don't have any cultural context of or loyalty to the plane of shadow. I feel like there are really better people available, they just - didn't do what I did."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"You could've learned the stuff. But you'd have to stick around and you didn't want to do that, I guess, so at least your friend's helping."
Veron
furtive_heroics
"Yeah. And he is actually very good at it," he assures. "I might be tempted to stick around if he wasn't very good at it, for the sake of the estate. But it was definitely improving and becoming nice to live in. For a shadow-person. And no one can technically take over if I'm still alive and obviously in charge and just not present. They could muscle in on my territory, but it would be generally frowned upon because - tradition, something something. Fair combat and whatnot. I get the impression that Ksxksskrth would have a bit more trouble if, say, he were the lord, while he was present and easy to assassinate."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"Oh, that's convenient then. You're helping in absentia."
Veron
furtive_heroics
"I am! ... I don't know if I should be proud of being a good puppet warlord that's hard to kill. I'm going to go with yes because good is being done with it."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"I'm not sure if you're a puppet. Your - regent? - doesn't need to actually puppet you because you granted him direct authority."
Veron
furtive_heroics
"Hm, true. And regent's a good term for him, I hadn't given the entire thing a word before." Pause. "And when you word it like that I actually sound responsible. Huh."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"Maybe you have also done other, irresponsible things, but you haven't mentioned them."
Veron
furtive_heroics
"I do plenty of stupid things," he assures her.
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"Should I ask?"
Veron
furtive_heroics
"I once walked into a den of mind flayers with nothing but a magic helmet to protect me from being turned into a mindless thrall." Pause. "And then I took off the helmet." Pause. "And then told them that they weren't getting the magical item they asked for from me."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"Did you have a good reason?"
Veron
furtive_heroics
"Sort of a series of them. I needed to talk to them to see if I could convince them to not join in on opposing side of the war on the basis that mind flayers are scary, and then the elder brain refused to talk to me while I had the helmet on and V- one of my companions promised to hit me over the head and carry me out to someone that could maybe fix me if I started drooling, and, uh. The magical item they wanted was a mirror that would help them quite a lot, and - they're - uh. Slavers doesn't quite do it justice, every illithid owns at least two mind-broken slaves, and that is considered very pathetic for the amount of slaves one has with them. They kept people in these - these giant pens, I don't even know if they ever got to, be themselves for any period of time. And I didn't want them to gain any more power than they had, even if it meant I'd need to fight them, because I mean. I'm - I have practice at dealing with the-kind-of-weird-that-can-do-terrible-
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"Well, you did at least get out okay..."
Veron
furtive_heroics
"Yeah." Pause. "And then I and my companions agreed that actually fighting them there when we were right next to their physically defenseless leader and had the helmets on and ready to go was much preferable to later when they'd be fitted for war, and that was how we razed a city. After, uh, setting everyone free that we could."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"Good for you!"
Veron
furtive_heroics
He ducks his head, self consciously. "Thanks. It's kind of a miracle I'm alive."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"A bit, yes, but a good miracle."
Veron
furtive_heroics
"Thank you."
Isabella Mariel Swan Ψ
subtly_artistic
"You're welcome."