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The Little Humans Who Could
Idaia and Imliss in the First Age
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It was cold. It was so cold, and Imliss was gone, and she was so tired...

She closed her eyes.

She hadn't been expecting to open them again.

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This world has a Sun. She has no way of knowing that it is rising for the first time. This world's grasses and shrubs are not universally edible, but the ground is soft, here. There are other people waking.

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Oh.

Maybe her world has an afterlife. This is good if it means she gets to see her parents again and terrible if it means she's never going to see her husband again. 

--Is Imliss anywhere nearby?

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Yep. She even has the fingers back that had rotted off from frostbite.

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Oh, good. Then there can be weeping and clinging.

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The other humans are staring curiously at them.

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"...Hello?" She says. ...Not in any of the three languages she had known before. She now speaks a fourth language. For some reason.

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"Hello!" they agree. 

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Okay. "What's your name?" she asks one.

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Blink.

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Okay then. They have officially exhausted Idaia's knowledge of what to do in this situation. She's just going to hug Imliss until someone attempts to interact with her.

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Everybody instead starts wandering around exploring.

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Reasonable. The two of them can eventually get up and do that too.

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The temperature is pleasant, getting warmer as the Sun rises; the area is hilly. There is a creek. There are occasional patches of trees.

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Not the worst afterlife ever, then. Although, uh. Maybe they should figure out clothes at some point.

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No one else seems bothered. In the distance there is a lake. Some people seem tempted to walk to the lake.

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Lakes contain water which is necessary for survival, so someone probably should at some point. It's not urgent, though.

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It is not! The sun is now high in the sky.

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It's sort of weird having a sun again.

...So this is not Valinor but are there any edible plants nearby? They should eat.

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There are a lot of plants nearby. 

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Great. They will identify edible ones and eat them and drink from a creek.

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The other humans will mostly follow their lead on this.

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Something weird is up with these other humans and it seems to be different from the weird thing that's up with them, if this isn't an afterlife, but there doesn't seem to be a practical way to deal with it. Aside from going on being a good influence, she supposes. 

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None of the other humans seem to know each other, for one thing.

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Okay, that's maybe sort of weird but she doesn't know anyone but Imliss either.

...Elves just started fully grown. And humans were supposed to start at some point. And all those fucking prophecies had a sun in them.

So if this is that---

Okay which way is west.

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This turns out to be surprisingly difficult to determine, unless 'the sun sets in the west' is a safe assumption, in which case it's straightforward.

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They'll start exploring in a more westerly direction for the moment. They can make a concerted effort to get back to the others when they have their bearings better.

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If they wander westerly for a while they will reach a desert.

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...

They're going to wander right back over to the other humans for now. And consider how to get through--or better yet around--the desert.

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The other humans have found some soft patches of ground to sleep on, and are sitting around describing the things in front of them, rather idly.

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Soft patches of ground are not exactly ideal but it's warm here so who the fuck cares.

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And eating plants is all very well and good but are there huntable animals around, meat is good and also skins are good for things like clothing and carrying water across a desert if it comes down to it.

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There are animals around. No one present has the faintest idea how one would catch one.

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She doesn't really feel like trying to explain the complexity that is Her Life So Far so she's going to pretend to invent the bow and arrow instead of admitting she knows how to make them already.

...Or she would if she had anything to fletch arrows with or make a bowstring out of. Hmm, snares have the same problem as bowstrings...what kind of animals are present?

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There are rabbits. There are geese. Just before sunrise there are deer who come to drink from the lake.

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Yeah she's not fucking with geese up close and personal. The rabbits haven't learned to be scared of people yet, though, have they?

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No, but they're scared of most things without needing to learn to be.

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Ugh.

After a few fruitless hours spent attempting to capture lagomorphs with her bare hands she starts experimenting with grasses to see if she can turn any of them into anything remotely resembling string.

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There's straw! People used to weave straw! Probably not into string, though.

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Oh, straw! She knows how to weave straw! She made a hat out of straw once and then put incredibly garish wax fruits on it! She can make a basket out of straw and attempt to trap rabbits with it.

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It works slightly better than trying with her bare hands! After a day of trying she gets a fluffy, bewildered rabbit.

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Poor thing. But she spent a gloriously happy month living off of random plants and game and is rather inured to the charm of fluffy things as regards not killing them. She makes it quick and painless.

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Everyone else is kind of staring.

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She's going to act like this is perfectly normal because they proooobably don't know any better. Right? ...She is less neat than she could possibly be in getting the skin off and roasting it. Fire: A Thing. Neat, huh?

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Weird. 

 

They stare, a bit.

 

Some of them come over and try to touch it.

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Idaia can't think of a better way to demonstrate that this is a bad idea without admitting that she knows this already than doing it herself. Luckily she knows things about fire and can get it close enough to be demonstrative without seriously hurting herself.

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Some of the humans are persuaded. Some try it themselves.

 

Around midnight glowing, shifting mist-figures rise out of the lake.

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This is alarming!

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Everyone is alarmed!

 

They don't do anything; there's a splash on the far side of the lake and they head towards it, getting less and less glowy until they are impossible to see.

 

Everyone is very alarmed.

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Idaia would totally abandon her not-admitting-things policy to warn people about this if she knew what it was to warn people about! She does not. "Probably a Maia or something" doesn't really count, they're too varied.

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They could check out the other side of the lake once it's daylight an less likely to be inhabited by spooky things. Probably less likely to be inhabited by spooky things.

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There are humans on the other side of the lake, too. They were also spooked by the spooky things.

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Huh! Did they happen to notice anything about them besides spookiness?

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There was a splash? Their faces - they had faces, sort of - changed as they got closer? Then everyone ran away, sorry.

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No, no, totally understandable, they waited until broad daylight to come over and investigate for a reason.

Faces, sort of? Can they elaborate on that?

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Not really.

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Well okay then.

...They didn't do anything harmful except be spooky. They might just be random Maiar who don't mean anyone harm. Orrrr they might not be. She really shouldn't bet that they are. She does not voice these thoughts aloud.

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The other humans debate what to call them and settle on 'demons'.

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Historically unsurprising!

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And no one wants to sleep too near the lake.

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Eminently reasonable. Maybe they should also take turns being awake so if something happens the awake person can wake everyone else.

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That is a good idea. Imliss and Idaia seem very sure of themselves and people are inclined to do what they say.

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Okay. This is probably going to end up increasing the awkwardness of some form of explanation or other down the line but for now they can roll with it.

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No spirits over the lake, tonight.

 

There are wolves howling somewhere.

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Wolves don't generally attack humans on purpose! ...This fact was learned in a world where humans had been around for long enough that it's entirely possible it only applies when the wolves have any experience with humans. Is there anywhere more defensible than 'literally random patches of ground' for humans to sleep.

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There's a forest thataway.

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Cool. Let's check out that forest.

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There are rustling and shuffling sounds and gleaming eyes blink at them from the sudden darkness in the forest. Also there is a distant chorus of very pretty voices.

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Elves!

Can she greet them by osanwe without it seeming weird--well, she already has a private/public thoughts distinction, that's strange already...

Hello?

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Depart from this forest, stranger, someone says, but a bit hurriedly, and vaguely embarrassed, as if they have been caught somewhere they aren't supposed to be.

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Am I interrupting something?

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Humans are not welcome in the forest.

 

 

We were going to scare them off.

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Please don't, there's weird mist creatures in the lake and they're all kind of on edge already. Couldn't you just ask?

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Most of them do not structure their thoughts for the speech between minds, as you do.

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You don't need to maintain private/public thought distinction to receive messages.

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Well, here is your message. Stay out.

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Okay, okay. ...We were investigating this place because we heard wolves nearby, do you have any advice for handling those besides "live in trees conveniently out of reach"?

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The humans have brought the attention of the Enemy here.

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What?

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That is why you should leave, human.

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Okay but like, the Enemy? I--I thought those were just wolves! Why do you think they weren't just wolves.

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We know more of the world than newborn humans can fathom.

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So are wolves not native to here, or was that the wrong timbre for natural wolf voices, or has the Enemy done things with wolves before to make this recognizeable...? I didn't pick up the private thoughts distinction out of the aether, I'm way more complicated than I look.

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The Enemy arrived here and then the wolves' howling started, and it is unnatural.

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Okay. Thank you. "So I have bad news and worse news," she tells the other Men.

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The Men are confused.

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She explains that there are people in this forest who are a different kind of people and can talk mind-to-mind and explained things to her and the bad news is that they don't want their kind of person in the forest and the worse news is that there is apparently a really, really nasty demon in the area.

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The humans are scared. What does Imliss think they should do.

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"They told me--there are others like them, but friendlier and more powerful, come to fight the evil demon. But they came from a long way off, and are still a ways off--and they're to the west. Across the desert."

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"So," someone volunteers hesitantly, "we should shout so they come?"

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"I don't think they could hear us from this far away."

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"So what do we do?"

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"There's ways of crossing deserts safely--they're harder with more people--maybe everyone except a few scouts should go south, or something, and a few people could try to cross the desert."

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"How would going south help?"


"What if it's not nice south?"

 

"How do you know you're right?"

"The desert looks horrible."

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"South isn't here and the really nasty demon is here. No one hast to cross the desert if they don't want to, obviously, but if anyone was willing to try it might help."

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"How do we know the demon is here?"

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"I guess we only have the forest people's word for it. They said the wolves were him, though. We could keep being careful and keep this explanation in mind in case we see more stuff attributable to a powerful demon."

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Everyone likes that advice best because it doesn't involve leaving and going far away.

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That's fair.

...If Elves say it's Morgoth, though, it's proooobably Morgoth.

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Idaia starts spending more of her time killing rabbits and experimenting with what she can accomplish with their hides. Naked with no water or food is not how you survive in a desert if it comes down to it.

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And the next day an Elf comes walking from west across the desert.

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...That. Is probably not a thing an Elf should just be able to do. She thinks. It's not as bad as the Helcaraxe, though...

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He sees the humans and approaches them. He points at things and encourages them to teach him their language.

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...Idaia and Imliss will engage in language-teaching solely as prompted, with no sign they've ever done this before, but mimic him, suggesting he return the favor.

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He misses the hint. What are their names?

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Fuck.

They're dead if he's a servant of the Enemy and they tell the truth. They're also dead if they lie and someone calls them on it. Well. One of those options contains an uncertainty. "I'm Juni. She's Lan. You?"

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"Sindel."

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Okay, back to naming stuff at him.

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And once he has enough vocabulary "you should build houses. it is not safe here in the open."

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"How do we do that?"

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"I can show you. You can move stone along the ground -" and he shows them how they can do that by rolling logs under it.

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Okay that's actually really useful. Maybe he's not a servant of the Enemy.

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If he is, he is one who wants to help them build buildings. He leaves, after teaching this, to talk to the other clusters of humans.

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Stone buildings: more defensible and less containing-unfriendly-neighbors than the available forest. Yay.

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Well, they will take a while to even partially resemble buildings. But it's a start.

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It's better than they had before! ...And possibly horribly booby-trapped in some way if the guy is a servant of the Enemy, but it's hard to figure out how...

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Well, there's the fact that some of the other human groups he's passed through have started singing hymns to Melkor.

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What a good thing Idaia lied about their names and no one called them on it, look how not dead they are.

Okay.

What the fuck leverage does she have to get people not to trust this guy--almost none. Ugh, ugh, ugh.

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At night the next night there are wolves. Very real, wolfy wolves. People run away. The wolves only chase them for a little.

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Auuugh why did the forest Elves have to be right.

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The night after that the wolves drag some people away with them.

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Maybe they should leave.

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Everyone is pretty in favor of that. South it is.

 

 

Sindel comes back around. If you sing hymns to Melkor, he explains, Melkor will protect you and the wolves won't hurt you.

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And who is Melkor supposed to be?

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Melkor is one of the gods. The only one paying attention to this land.

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Sadly that isn't even a lie.

...So are most of the people satisfied with that or do they still want to go south?

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There are wolves south too, he tells them. Try it for one night.

 

Most people want to do that.

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Yeah she's not going to get people killed for her principles, if Morgoth isn't killing them while they're useful there's no way they can protect all of them if Morgoth wants them dead.

Not by themselves.

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If they sing the hymns, the wolves stay away.

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They can't live like this, long term. Not under Morgoth's thumb and cut off from everyone and--and mortal--

They're going to try going south.

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The terrain looks about the same, for a while.

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Idaia hid a cache of supplies a little more than a day's travel off; they're going to try to grab that and then take their chances with the desert.

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Their first night sleeping away from the camp, the wolves come for them.

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This is less surprising than it could be! How do wolves feel about large quantities of ice, frequently inside orifices.

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They take this very badly! They can kill a lot of wolves. But there are a lot of wolves.

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No survivors. They can't afford for their ice-generating abilities to be discovered.

Their reflexes aren't perfect. They manage to not die, but both have some truly nasty wounds when they're done. 

They grab the supplies, burn the immediate area to the ground as cover for how the wolves died, and flee as quickly as their injuries allow.

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No one pursues them.

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Their injuries are pretty bad. 

They find somewhere they're unlikely to be found by anyone not actively looking for them and half-collapse. Idaia has a stomach wound. Imliss is kind of panicking.

She hadn't thought she even could fall asleep that night, let alone doing it by accident while trying to keep watch. And yet.

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When they wake up it is late afternoon.

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...Okay that's weird.

And. Um. Idaia doesn't seem to have a life-threatening gut wound anymore? That's good?

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Both of them are healing remarkably quickly.

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There is no way in which this makes sense.

...Unless...

...The wolf victims were dragged off, not killed where they stood and a corpse left behind.

She tries something ridiculous.

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She turns into a wolf.

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Idaia startles badly before reconstructing her sister's train of thought. She hesitates and then also does the thing.

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And also turns into a wolf.

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Well then. This is--a lot, but they're not dead. They can deal with the implications later. 

They return to human form, fashion makeshift saddlebags for their supplies, and trek to the edge of the desert. 

They wait until nightfall.

They shift.

Normal wolves and horses both run faster and longer than humans can. As wolves the size of horses, they eat up the ground. They rest during the day while it's hot, one keeping watch and maintaining dreamshaped shade, and they find cacti and cut them open for the water.

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Eventually they can see the mountains on the other side.

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Hooray, the desert won't kill them the way the Ice did.

They stay human for the last part of the trek, just in case.

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And here are mountains.

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Oh, good. More passable mountains than the Helcaraxe had?

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Substantially so. There's even a pass, south of here a bit.

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Yaaaay. South a bit it is, then.

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The pass is still difficult, but they have a lot of magical advantages at this point.

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Being nonconsensually turned into werewolves was terrible but it does have its advantages.

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Once they have crested the mountains the pass starts to look better-taken-care-of. In places it is paved, and everywhere it is wide and even.

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...Okay they're going to turn back into humans so whoever did this doesn't react reasonably to surprise giant wolves.

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They pass an elaborately carved door in the rock.

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...Carved how, stylistically.

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Definitely not Valinorean, the door is too low and the style completely different.

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But does it look anything like Morgoth's style?

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What do they know of Morgoth's style?

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...Not that much, admittedly. Little bit? They saw some drawings of Utumno, once.

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It does not look anything like Utumno.

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...They are pretty much out of supplies and if there are hostiles on the other side they can probably just fill the area around the doorway with extreme ice and flee. She knocks on the door.

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And the door opens to reveal someone about three feet tall and very very bearded, who blinks at them and then says something in a language they do no speak.

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Should have anticipated that. She tries Quenya.

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Not familiar, apparently.

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Language that got installed in her head when she came back to life?

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Also not familiar. 

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So annoying.

Is he willing to try to teach her bits of the language he's speaking, enough that they can hopefully engage in basic communication?

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Happily!

 

...it's familiar. Not Quenya, but maybe something with some distant roots.

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She wishes Feanaro were here right now.

Language-learning! She is not Feanaro or even an Elf at all but she's good at it for a human. And it shares roots with something she's fluent in.

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After a few hours the Dwarves invite the two of them into the city.

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They are sort of nervous because it could still be a trap but these people are almost certainly not expecting Ice and Wolves and they would really rather not starve before they can find more edible plants or whatever so sure.

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It is a stunningly pretty city, in a different style than Valinor but not reflecting lesser capacity for or interest in craftsmanship.

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Imliss is deeply moved.

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They are not sure what to make of that but they think they are flattered. "Tumunzahar," someone says.

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She nods. "The name? Or the word for the kind?"

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Tumunzahar is this one; there are six other great Dwarven cities under mountains.

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Cool. More language acquisition?

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After a while the Dwarves indicate that they would like to exchange things, do Imliss and Idaia have things to exchange?

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...Do Dwarves have the printing press?

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...fluency is not at the level that would communicate that yet.

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Is fluency at a level that an communicated "conjure temporary objects" or "turn into fuckoff-huge wolves" yet?

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They can conjure some objects! The Dwarves will be suitably impressed.

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Can it be impressed on the Dwarves that the objects are always temporary? It probably can.

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Yep, after the objects vanish a few times they have the idea. There's still a bit too much of a language barrier for the twins to follow when the Dwarves talk about exciting applications.

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That's a pity! Exciting applications are probably exciting.

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They are asked if they can show artwork or inventions with the temporary conjuring.

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Some! Not a lot, the conjuring isn't totally arbitrary, but some! Like the printing press, she had multiple dreams about printing presses while she was working with the Noldor engineers on recreating them.

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They are pretty astonished by and excited about printing presses.

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This is because printing presses are excellent!

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And people are happy to get them food and a place to stay! What do they eat?

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They just crossed a desert. They will be thrilled to eat and drink any things that will not poison them.

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They are served great quantities of non-poisonous food.

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They will eat it in quantities that won't make them sick!

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And here is a pretty rock enclave where they can sleep!

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Awesome.

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That night Idaia curls up, in complete material security and on an actual fucking mattress for the first time in a very long time indeed and lets herself dwell.

She misses her husband very badly. And--she doesn't know that it was only a short time between dying and waking up, who knows how long it was--

What if he died--

What if he didn't and he's conscious and--maybe if she just reaches out--

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Idaia?

 

Oh god, oh god - how -

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Oh, dearheart--are you okay--Imliss and I woke up with the first native Men.

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Okay. Okay. Are you safe -

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Probably? 

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What's going on?

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...The other Men are singing hymns to Melkor because if you do that the werewolves don't attack you.

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Where are you -

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We got away, we're with Dwarves right now, Imliss is pulling her 'introduce the printing press' trick.

Ran into some werewolves on the way out, though.

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Got away to where, I'll come find you - somehow -

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It's called "Tumunzahar," it's apparently one of seven Dwarven cities in this mountain range, we were heading west...

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Never heard of it, can you send what it looks like -

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She sends the mountain range as she's seen it and the desert to the east.

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Okay. I'll ask Cáno - I want to find you, even knowing that it might not be forever I could not bear it if you died again -

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I'm sorry.

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Not your fault.

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I love you. I miss you.

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I thought I'd lost you forever -

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I'm really glad that's not true. For both our sakes. How long has it been--

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Five Years.

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Oh, love. 

You shouldn't have had to wait that long but I'm totally alive.

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The waiting wouldn't have been a problem if I'd had even the hope -

 

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I really wish I was where you are so I could hug you, you deserve hugs.

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I love you.

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I love you. I'm so glad you're alive.

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Yeah.

So, um. Remember when I said Imliss and I had to deal with werewolves on the way out?

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Yeah.

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So it turns out that's contagious. If they bite and scratch you some.

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What does that mean - what does it even mean to be a werewolf -

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So far? You can turn into a wolf about the size of Huan, and you heal faster, which is good because the aforementioned biting and scratching was--bad--and I dunno what else, we haven't had a lot of time to experiment...

I honestly don't know.

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Could be some ploy of the Enemy -

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The werewolves were definitely the work of the Enemy but I don't think he came in person and I don't think he knew we were us and I don't think he was expecting us to get turned, kill every last wolf sent after us and escape.

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But why's he making anyone into werewolves -

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I didn't stick around to ask!

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I'm glad. Complicates stuff, though - people will think it's a trap -

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I don't know what to do about that.

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I'll think of something.

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Okay. Love you.

...Kind of scared.

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Yeah. Keep talking to me, I don't want - don't want to let you go -

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I'm going to have to sleep at some point; are you going to be able to read my dreams when that happens or do I need to figure something else out?

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I think I should be able to.

 

 

 

There's also some stuff you should know.

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I figured probably. Given that it's been five Years.

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Dad's dead. Telvo's dead. Nelyo's a prisoner in Angband and has been for four and a half Years.

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Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

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I need to figure out where I am in relation to you as fast as possible. 

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No, that won't help, not if it means getting into danger if you think you're currently safe...

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What I was actually thinking of was getting as much knowledge of your surroundings as possible and then consulting Dwarf cartographers until I got something useful.

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Okay. But don't come unless it's safe. Really. I can live with only hearing you through this, I can't handle you dying again or - worse -

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I need you, too, you know. I really really wish you were holding me right now.

But yes, I won't take any dumb risks.

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And he sends the view from where they are at.

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Names? ...I guess they'd have to be different, these people don't exactly speak Quenya.

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The locals speak something else, I can give you it in their tongue. 

 

And he does. Nothing familiar.

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She can remember them for the cartographers.

I love you so much.

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I thought - forever -

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Oh, beloved. I came back.

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You did. Only good thing to happen in a long time.

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She really really wants to hug him but she can't so she just sends the sensation as firmly as she can.

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We'll find each other. It'll be okay.

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Mhm. Love you. 

...So how's everyone who isn't dead or worse?

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I don't know how to even answer that.

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Yeah, fair enough. She sighs.

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I love you. Stay safe.

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I love you. I'll do my best.

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I'll be paying attention - I'll know if -

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Mhm. Love you, love you, love you. I'll find a way back to you and I'll make sure it's a safe one even if it takes another five Years.

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Thank you.

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I don't wanna die either.

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There's worse.

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Yeah, so if I don't even wanna die...

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I love you. Be careful - be happy -

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I will probably be happier when I've had more time to decompress from fleeing Morgoth across a desert.

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Then take that time.

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Holding you would make me happier faster!

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Me too.

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At least you're right here in my mind where you belong.

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Why only now? Were you farther away?

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Farther away, too stressed out to realize I could break the habit of thinking of you as unconscious and unreachable...

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I'm so sorry I didn't wake up in time to know you were missing -

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Not your fault.

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Kinda is.

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Kinda is my fault I died.

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What? How?

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Because I was enough of an idiot to think I could survive something Elves had to give up on as too lethal?

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They should all have turned back, I don't know why they didn't -

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Oh, like you would have.

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I coulda made it across. If kids were following me I would take 'em back to somewhere safe first.

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She sighs. I don't want to argue with you over this.

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We haven't been able to fight the Enemy since they got here. Everyone's paralyzed and the war effort's been set back by years.

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...'I don't want to argue over this' doesn't mean 'I think you're wrong; convince me,' it means please change the subject I really don't want to think about the Ice and freezing to death right now.

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What are the other humans like?

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She describes several of them. Rather sadly, as they're still in the Enemy's clutches.

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Why the fuck would Eru pick now -

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I don't know.

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Poor Men.

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I felt like such a terrible coward, running away and leaving them.

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You absolutely did the right thing. What could you have done? And what if he got suspicious you were keeping thoughts private -

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I know I did the right thing. It still didn't feel that way.

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We haven't tried rescuing Maitimo. It'd be utterly stupid. But.

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Yeah.

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I love you. I miss you.

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I love you. I miss you. I'm coming as quick as I safely can.

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I know you are. I trust your judgment and I trust you out there.

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Good. 

Also I love you a lot.

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Love you so much. Be safe. Come home.

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I will absolutely do both of those things.

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I wish you hadn't had to deal with thinking I was dead forever.

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Not your fault.

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It's still sad even if it's not my fault.

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I miss you. I'm glad you're okay. I need you here.

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I'll be there as soon as I safely can.

...How badly do you think everyone's going to react to the werewolf thing?

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I mean, the worry'll be that somehow the Enemy can track you or hijack you? But we want you back, we'll figure out a way to check that it's safe.

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Okay, good.

Getting savaged by wolves the size of Huan was one of the top ten worst things that ever happened to me, plausibly top five, and adding insult to injury by having everyone have to tiptoe around me lest I suddenly get hijacked...

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I know.

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I love you.

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I love you. I'm so thankful - to Eru, I guess - it's a weird feeling -

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He seems to otherwise suck! 

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I know!! Like, a lot! I would hate the guy, except - he gave me my wife back - 

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Yeah, I dunno.

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Maybe he had nothing to do with it and you just clawed your way out of the afterlife.

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That's possible! I'd do that.

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I know you would. I love you.

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Love you.

It's so good to be back.

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It's so so good to know you're alive.

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Oh, sweetheart.

Did you tell the others?

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Yeah. They're worried it's somehow a trap. Since, like, everything else has been.

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She sighs. Valid.

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We all love you and are really glad you're safe.

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Do you have an actual way to check if I'm a trap?

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I don't think so. Maybe we'll think of one. Maybe Huan can tell.

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Huan being able to tell would be nice.

Maybe if he practices sparring with us or something he'll know more about werewolves and not die when prophecy time rolls around.

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Maybe.

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Fucking Valar.

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Fucking everything.

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Yeah. 

Not us, though, we're separated by too large a fraction of a continent.

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Come home. I love you.

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Yes, dear.

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I love you so much. I can't wait to see you again.

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Yeah.

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What are you doing now?

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Sentrying. Why?

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Gives me a cap on how much I can distract you.

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I am pretty thoroughly distracted. It's okay.

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It's okay to be distracted on sentry duty?

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Huan can cover for me.

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Fair enough. 

Still a limit on how distracting I can be if you're in public.

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Thousands of people I care about are dead and Maitimo's being tortured horribly, I doubt I'm that distractible.

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Yeah. 

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It is good just to hear your voice, though.

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Not gonna stop talking until I have to sleep.

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And I can hear you even when you do.

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Married Osanwe: still the best.

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Yeah.

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I love you so much.

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I'm so glad you're okay.

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I dunno if I'm all the way to okay right now but I'm sure as hell better than dead.

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Good. Stay that way, please.

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Absolutely.

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And he listens to her until she falls asleep.

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She tells Imliss the things first. Imliss is pretty upset. 

But then, yes. He can listen to her dreams.

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Good morning, she says when she wakes.

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Hey.

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Anything interesting happen while I was asleep?

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Not really. We mostly just kind of sit around.

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I'm sorry to hear that.

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It's fine.

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Okay. Love you.

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What're you doing today?

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Not sure. Picking up more language, ding magic, maybe talking to cartographers if I can find them?

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Okay. What're Dwarves like?

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Adorably enthusiastic about the printing press! Also their city is beautiful--she sends him mental images.

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Ooooh. I want to come see it. Underground, though, I'd probably go crazy after a while.

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If you're not getting much done where you are maybe you can come pick us up when I figure out where we are relative to each other--three's safer than two--and you could see it and not have to stay long.

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I'd have to travel with a huge escort, and 'not doing much moment-to-moment' doesn't mean non-essential, someone might attack us -

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She sighs. Yeah. It was a nice thought, though.

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Oh, so tempting.

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Oh well. I can send you more impressions.

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I'd like that.

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She sends more images of the beautiful Dwarf city.

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He appreciates them.

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She misses him.

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Dwarven cartographers do not recognize the place he sent her visuals from, at least not off her drawings of them.

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Do they recognize any names?

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No.

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...Do they have any maps of things west of here?

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Yes, the area from here to Doriath is mapped.

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She bounces the names on the maps to her husband in case he recognizes them.

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Doriath they've heard of. It's southeast of him.

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Okay, cool. So that tells her where she is relative to them, although depending on how much they know about the area between them and Doriath the fuzziness of information might make it hard to plan a safe route.

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Not much; Doriath's location is supposed to be secret.

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...It is a giant forest.

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Yeah but a magical one or something. A Maia is in charge of the place.

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Huh, weird. It appears perfectly plainly on the Dwarven maps.

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That is weird.

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What can Dwarves tell her about Doriath?

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Elves. Dwarves think rather poorly of Elves, and Doriath has a lot of them. The Dwarves built them their cave city. It's very pretty. The Elf parts are all Elfy because Dwarves deliver good craftsmanship even if they can't stand the recipients. It does have a Maia in charge, married to an Elf.

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Oh. Huh. Why do Dwarves think poorly of Elves?

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Elves hunted Dwarves for sport. 

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What.

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Yeah, that's why Dwarves don't like them. 

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That makes perfect sense.

The Dwarves' part, anyway, she's still shocked that the Elves would do that.

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Elves read each others' thoughts, and Dwarves can't do that, so they thought Dwarves didn't have thoughts.

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Ouch. That's terrible.

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Yep. Elves: terrible.

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She bounces all this to her husband.

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What the fuck.

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That was my reaction!

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There are locals, lots of them have joined us, but they really don't seem the type -

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I'm trying to figure out whether and if so how to explain that the Noldor are different.

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Probably something that's better to prove than insist on.

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Well, the idea was to include anecdotal evidence...

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There isn't really any. It's not like we've met any Dwarves.

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Yeah. Ugh.

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Yeah.

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So far it sounds like the thing to do is get to Doriath using Dwarven maps and figure out how to get home from there, but...

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Doriath apparently sucks?

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That, yeah.

Plus if it's supposed to be hidden they might not be thrilled to see us.

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Well, can you go around it?

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She consults the map.

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Yes, obviously it is possible to go around Doriath.

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Well, yes, but does this involve running into any dangerous things?

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The cartographers don't know. Everywhere is full of scary things.

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...

She relays this.

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Ugh. Maybe I can convince Cáno to authorize a Dwarf-finding expedition.

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Maybe.

I want to come home.

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I know. 

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It's been too long already--I'm not going to do anything stupid but I miss you so much--

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Just imagine how much I miss you, it's been Years -

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She thanks the cartographer and leaves and finds a corner where no one will see her tears. I want to come home.

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Sweetheart, you'll be fine, you have Imliss, we can talk constantly -

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I was so cold--you can't understand it, I don't want you to, you can't without having been there--and then I had no idea where I was or what was going on and then there was a servant of the Enemy and then--the wolves--one of them got me in the abdomen, I probably would have died again if we hadn't turned and it hurt so much and the last time I saw you you were lying insensate with a dent in your skull and there was so much blood--

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I know. But now we're both safe and going to stay that way.

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Morgoth.

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Is the reason I can't just come and get you. But you're safe, right now.

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For now.

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I need you to just be safe.

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Valinor was supposed to be safe.

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Sorry.

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Not your fault.

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I love you.

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I want to come and get you. When you're crying like that I think 'fuck it' -

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We shouldn't do anything too reckless.

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Yeah.

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But I really want you to come get me too.

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Sigh.

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I love you.

I want to just tell myself that the scary things are almost certainly less scary than two fuck-off huge wolves but I don't actually know that...

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Yeah. Still, really glad you two are fuckoff-huge wolves.

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Unless it's a trap.

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Yeah.

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I don't want it to be a trap. If it's a trap I'm not safe anywhere.

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I want to come home and have Huan declare me magically alright and hug him and hug you--

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Yeah.

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I need to figure out how to come home safely.

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Yeah.

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I love you.

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Yeah.

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I wonder if it would help Pityo or the exact opposite of that to tell him Imliss died first and that's what killed me.

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The exact opposite of that, I think.

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Probably, yeah.

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I'm so sorry it happened -

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I know you are.

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We have eternity. Let's just not risk that.

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How?

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I have absolutely no idea.

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I love you. 

You promised me a happy ending.

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Yeah. Somehow -

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Yeah. I trust you. 

Might be a while, though.

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Yeah.

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We already knew that, though.

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This is a lot better than we had reason to expect.

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Yeah. I'm alive. It's good.

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Alive and bad things happened but it will be okay.

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really hope I'm verifiably not a trap.

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I'll risk it anyway.

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I love you.

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Don't know what Curufinwë'd do if I died, but.

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Your dad dying must've hit him hard.

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We had hopes of using our magic to bring back my parents someday. I bet we can figure something out for your dad and Telvo.

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That'd be really good.

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Of course we'll get him back. He doesn't speak Mannish and that obviously needs to be corrected.

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You just - woke up with it?

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Yeah.

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That's so weird.

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I'm glad of it. Would have been much harder to pretend to fit in, otherwise.

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Makes sense. Everyone spoke the same one exactly?

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As far as we could tell.

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Eru, what -

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I have no explanation! I figured my original world had an afterlife and I was in it when I first woke! There was a sun! Why is there a sun?

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Valar decided to be useful for once. Bit late.

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No kidding. How long's it been around?

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Ten days ago.

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I saw this world's first sunrise. 

That's pretty sweet.

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Huh. 

 

 

Also means the Enemy got there really fast.

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You said it's been five Years.

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Yes, but how would he have found the humans before you existed?

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Prophecies?

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Can't see them if you're going to act on them.

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Can't be circular, becoming able to do a thing because you see yourself doing it?

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Nah, that'd make more sense.

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Could you get a prophecy that lasts a certain amount of time and then set up to waltz in as soon as doing so wouldn't alter the vision?

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...maybe? You don't get to choose to get them.

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Yah, but if he just happened to...

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I guess it's possible.

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I dunno, this is of necessity just wild speculation.

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It's scary that he pulled it off, however he did it.

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Yeah.

I think it was just a Maia or something in his service, not him, for whatever that's worth.

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Good to know, at least.

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Didn't have the Vala staticky thing.

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Good to know. It'd be a bit surprising for him to leave Angband anyway.

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So probably a servant.

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I'm so glad you're okay.

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Me too.

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Nothing we can do about anybody else.

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Yeah.

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At some point Idaia goes back to the cartographer to inquire about the nature of scariness.

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Dwarves travel in large caravans and stick to the roads. This means they are not harassed by things, and mostly hear about them from the Elves, and indirectly because Elves are illiterate and do not tend to consider the Dwarves a worthy audience for their travel tales anyway.

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Elves are illiterate?

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Yep.

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Huh.

She knows these other Elves who only arrived on the continent a few decades ago and have as far as she knows never killed any Dwarves and aren't illiterate. It's possible they suck less than the Elves Dwarves are used to.

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How does she know them?

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That is a really long and moderately implausible story and she's not sure her grasp of the language covers it yet.

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Huh.

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She could try to write it out, identify and patch the holes in her vocabulary, and get back to him when she's got it?

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Sure!

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Okay, cool. She'll get on that.

...It occurs to her to feel horrible for using "not illiterate" as a measure of being not terrible.

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Why?

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Because you are, and also one of the most amazing people on the planet?

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And clearly I would be better if I could read.

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In general having skills is preferable to not having them but not having this one does not lower your worth as a person.

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KInda makes me think poorly of the other Elves as a crowd, though.

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Honestly it doesn't hold a candle to the hunting people for sport thing.

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Yeah. 

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I love you a lot. I'm so glad we're married and I can talk to you from here.

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Yeah.

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She sends him a warm burst of affection in lieu of being able to kiss him and starts working on her story.

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They worriedly discuss how they'd tell if this were a trap.

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The twins continue acquiring language. Imliss continues working on the printing press with Dwarves. Idaia continues translating her story.

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The Dwarves are friendlier as it gets possible to communicate more with them.

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Dwarves are pretty great. Eventually Idaia finishes her story for the cartographer one. 

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It is a very weird story. They are glad the Elves didn't hunt her for sport, even if they did a lot of other really dumb stuff.

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And the specific Elf she met first was a hunter, even!

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Well, she looks more Elf like than Dwarves do, that probably helps.

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Also their telepathy thing works with her.

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That would do it.

 

Dwarves like being immune to mind-affecting magic.

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It sounds useful! Idaia likes the high-density communication Elf telepathy offers but most mind-affecting magic is less benign than that.

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The Enemy uses it towards all kinds of horrifying ends.

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Yeah. She's lucky she escaped the area he was actively fucking with before he could do any of that to her. Immunity would be much safer.

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Well, she is welcome to stay here. Because of the immunity the Enemy mostly doesn't bother with Dwarves.

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She appreciates this but she would rather return to her set of Elves when she can safely do so.

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Good luck with that, then.

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She appreciates the sentiment. It might be a while before she can do that anyway.

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Yes, travel's not very safe.

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It's inconvenient. Oh well. Dwarves are great, this is a good place to be if they can't be there.

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The Dwarves are flattered. They are happy to show Idaia things she can work on, if she'd like.

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Sure.

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Does she want to learn metalworking? Stonecutting? Glass? Mining?

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...Glass. She knows a little bit about glass already! The Elves didn't have flameworking, do the Dwarves have flameworking?

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They do! They have a lot of techniques!

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Awesome.

Idaia makes a habit of relaying things to her husband.

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We should definitely send an envoy once it's safe.

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Because Dwarves are great?

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Because we don't have access to supplies and they do?

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Yeah. Shouldn't have been so flippant. I wish I could do something broadly useful instead of just personally useful like learning glassworking...I guess accumulating capital through having unique magic'll help once an envoy is possible.

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Yeah, it should. If they like you and you have local currency, that'll help us get past the thing where we're Elves.

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They'll trade with you regardless. They trade with Doriath, who are the actual people who did the hunting.

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Generous of them.

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They're very commerce-focused.

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Whatever works for them, I guess.

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It does work for them! Surprisingly well! I think Carnistir would like it here.

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I'll tell him.

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Give everyone our love.

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Will do.

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Love you lots and lots.

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Yeah.

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She cannot hug him but she can remember hugs at him as crisply as possible.

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Take care.

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I will. I wish I could think of a straightforward way to come home safely, even if it took a while to put into action.

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When's the next Dwarven travel to Doriath?

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I haven't actually asked? I'm not sure I'd be welcome there, and even if I am, if I can't think of a way to get home safely from there I'm stuck in Doriath.

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Stuck?

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...I could go back with the Dwarves, true. I...was not so much thinking in terms where getting farther away from you was a palatable option.

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So it might leave you back where you started or it might get you ahead.

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True. Might interrupt some stuff I'd rather not see interrupted if I don't get to come home...I'm not sure it's a good idea if I don't have at least a guess as to how I might get home from Doriath.

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We don't know how far it is from here, it might be close.

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If I don't even have a good guess as to how to get home at all, let alone safely...

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How are you planning on getting one?

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Sort of depends on how Doriath's secret--if it's just that the locals are all keeping mum that's one thing, if there's a mind-affecting thing that the Dwarves are naturally immune to that's another.

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That'd interfere with even getting in in the first place, right?

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Even then it depends on how it works. I might well be able to get in just by thinking in terms of "follow the Dwarves" and not "enter Doriath."

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Have they ever taken a non-Dwarf with them?

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Probably not? I'm not sure under what circumstances they would do that.

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Fair enough.

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Can you ask some locals what dangerous stuff there's likely to be between where you are and Doriath, in case it's trivially smushable by some combination of dreamshaping and the ability to turn into a horse-sized wolf?

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Yeah. They don't think there'd be anything worse than orcs as long as you stay clear of the, uh, "Valley of Dreadful Death".

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The what? she almost giggles.

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No two stories agreed. Well, the presence of giant spiders was a constant; beyond that everyone had a different story. Just stay away from it, I guess.

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I think I can do that.

How tough are orcs? How good are their senses?

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Elf-like, but adapted to the dark. We didn't have much trouble killing them but we're armored.

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Well, we can be wolves the size of a horse and also generate sufficiently lethal quantities of ice. ...I might be being too optimistic because I want to come home but I don't have a good way to tell.

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Sounds pretty safe to me.

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Well, if you think it's safe for me I'm probably not being insufficiently paranoid to think so.

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We cleared the continent. It's not flooded with monsters.

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I bet you did. I love you.

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Love you.

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She inquires with Dwarves as to when there are likely to be Dwarves going in the direction of Doriath.

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Four months from now.

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Four months is enough time to bring everything they're currently doing to a satisfactory conclusion. Is it enough time to arrange to be with the caravan?

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Yes, sure, if they want to go. They might not be let into Doriath, though.

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They can go around it if that's the case. Doriath isn't their desired final destination.

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They are welcome to travel with the Dwarves.

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Awesome!

She gleefully reports the approaching date of departure to her husband. Her husband who she's going to ~see again~

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Be careful.

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We will.

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I know, I just. Had to say anyway.

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I understand. I love you and I completely get why you would want to be paranoid about this.

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And a few months later the Dwarves send an expedition for Doriath.

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It will have a pair of humans slash werewolves accompanying it!

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It is weeks of travel at the Dwarves' slow pace with their caravans.

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Well, it's kinda slow, yeah, but it's not over lethal ice or in unrelenting darkness, so, way better than the last time she traveled with a large group of people.

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Yes! No hazards meet them on the road. Eventually she will notice a headache if she tries to look straight ahead.

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Huh! She tries to get a better look at what's straight ahead.
(The headache is annoying but it's nowhere near as bad as getting savaged by wolves the size of horses, let alone freezing slowly to death.)

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Trees. Headache-inducing ones. Her glance keeps sliding off elsewhere.

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Oh really. She can focus very, very well. Had to learn to, to survive as long as she did on the Ice. And now she's taking the slidey effect as a personal challenge.

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The headache builds to blinding. The trees are there.

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Ugh. You wind this round, Doriath.

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After a while they reach the edge of the trees and an Elf comes out to talk with them.

 

The Elf does not want humans in Doriath.

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Any particular reason why not?

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Might have been influenced by the Enemy. There's a prophecy about that.

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And where did they get these prophecies? The Enemy tried selectively disseminating prophecies about Men in Valinor, before he started overtly fucking shit up. By the way, they've been to Valinor, long story, they're originally from another world, this place is ruled by Elwe, right, Finwe remembered him fondly until the day he died.

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Right, but prophecies are accurate. This place is ruled by Elwe and it's very sad Finwë is dead and they would let him in if he were here because there are no prophecies about him.

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Okay, fine, they'll just go around. Can they at least give directions for avoiding this one valley, they've heard bad things about this one valley.

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Yep, it's north of here.

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Okay, they'll go south. Have a nice day.

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Likewise.

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They go south.

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Idaia shares the whole thing with her husband.

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How far south, do you know?

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She sends him where the southern edge of Doriath is on the Dwarven maps.

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So it's a several-hundred-mile detour. Great.

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Yeah. Didn't seem very productive to try to argue them into letting us go through, though. I wish we didn't have to.

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I understand being paranoid.

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Which is also why we're not being wolves to go faster until we're sure we're out of sight of Doriath. Considering why they won't let us in.

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Are you just going to walk the whole way along their border, then?

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No, we're going south until they can't see us through the trees and then wolfing.

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How sure are you that they can't see you through the trees?

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Well, I'm not, yet, so I'm not wolf-shaped. ...Maybe we should just skirt the border and not transform. Better not to risk them trying to kill us. I'm going to come home to you safe no matter how long it takes.

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I know you will. I love you. Be careful.

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I will.

They skirt Doriath's borders. They do not turn into giant wolves.

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Then it will be a very long slow walk.

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Yeah the Ice may have lowered their standards by an order of magnitude. It's warm! They're not in constant danger of dying! This is fine.

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There's not much in the way of things to eat but it is indeed warm and nothing tries eating them.

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...If there is a dearth of edible plants and game animals near Doriath then she should probably get farther away from Doriath.

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It's more that, the Sun having started existing two weeks ago, there's an ecology here that has very recently died and not been replaced yet.

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Okay, well, they're not stupid, they have nonzero supplies, they'll just have to. Make it last.

And, hm, if things died two weeks ago, are there any nuts or edible barks or anything that're still good?

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There is nothing recognizable.

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Okay, new plan, get far enough away from Doriath that even if they see them turn into wolves and assume this is due to Enemy taint or whatever they probably won't shoot at them too much and then run in wolf form.

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No one shoots at them.

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Hooray.

Wolves are pretty fast. They're also much higher biomass than humans, at least when they're the size of horses, but they can turn back to consume food and water.

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And they round the south end of Doriath and find a river stretching north-to-south on its west side.

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...Now would be a good time to have a better idea of where Doriath was relative to home. She consults her husband.

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He doesn't have any more information about that.

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Should've planned better.

They knew that Doriath was south and east, at least, so if they go north and west as fast as they can until they hit something recognizable that should work.

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Seems reasonable.

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They do that.

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They'll reach some mountains without an obvious pass through them.

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...Does anyone back home know anything about these here mountains.

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Yep! Now they know where the girls are! They send a map.

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Hooray! ...They don't have to cross these mountains, right, that...might be bad.

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They kind of do but there's a pass north and a bit east.

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Okay. If there's a pass it's not far enough north that the mountains are going to be psychologically problematic, probably.

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It is not that far north.

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So then finally they make it through the pass in the mountains and can see the lake shining under the sun below, with the two camps of Elves on either side.

She doesn't have Elf-sensitive vision, she can't make out anyone in particular, but she can send her mental image and ask, where are you?

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South side. Don't come closer, please. 

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...We're approaching from the south, why should we not get closer, what's happening?

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Just what I already told you: we have absolutely no way to tell if you're safe.

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Oh. Right. Yeah okay.

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Thanks. Where are you?

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She gives him her perspective on everything.

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And he and Huan talk for a while with Maglor and then head out in that direction.

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The twins are both pretty much just sitting listlessly where they were when Idaia gave him the image.

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They approach quietly.

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Both girls are in human shape with human senses, and he studied under Orome. If he doesn't want them to know he's there they won't.

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He asks Huan what he thinks.

 

Huan thinks that the Enemy's magic made them werewolves.

 

They already knew that. 

 

 

Ugh.

 

He steps out from the trees and walks over to Idaia for a hug.

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She's exhausted. The adrenaline and triumph that had carried her the last of the way hadn't drained right out of her when she had been informed that they didn't have a good enough way to tell she wasn't a trap, so she couldn't actually come home yet. She's tired emotionally and physically and lifting so much as her arm feels like too much work.

And then he steps out and she's on her feet and her arms are around him as fast as her abused muscles can make it.

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Oh, love, I missed you -

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She clings to him and whimpers.

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Hugs.

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Love you. Missed you.

...Remember when I said that after the attack itself, having everyone tiptoe around me would be--unpleasant?

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Yeah.

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Getting told not to come the very last part of the way after coming all this distance feels--like that. Only possibly moreso.

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Sorry, I thought I was clear about that.

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I dunno. Maybe I was just so excited I forgot, or something. It's obviously the right decision either way.

Love you.

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Hug.

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Hug.

She starts crying. It's a mixture of relief that they're both alive and well and he's here and holding her and ongoing fucked-upness from all of the everything.

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He squeezes her and holds her tightly.

 

(Huan solicits petting from Imliss.)

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Imliss pets Huan.

"...I wonder if we smell different, now."

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"You do, yeah."

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"Mm. How?"

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"He can tell that the Enemy did something to you. I don't know if you'd also smell differently underlying that."

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"Oh. I was expecting to smell like wolf."

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"Yes, but not like - a normal wolf -"

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"That makes sense. Normal wolves aren't this big."

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"Or that obviously the work of the Enemy." Hug.

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"It's kind of worrying that it's that obvious! He never got anywhere near us! ...I don't think so, anyway."

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"I believe you."

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"I mean, I'm not saying that means it's safe. I don't think we came to his attention--or more relevantly his probably-a-Maia servant's--so I don't think we're a deliberate trap for you but that doesn't mean it's impossible that werewolves have a hijacking function just in case and they wouldn't gleefully use it if they found out later that there were wolves in the Feanorian camp."

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"Yeah. The Enemy's clever - 's how he got Maitimo, we underestimated him -"

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"I don't want to be exiled forever but I don't want to be a tool for him to hurt you either."

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"You're not gonna be exiled forever. We'll figure something out. But first - I brought food, you should both eat -"

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Yeah, that's a very good idea.

"Does anyone have any idea at all what might be figured out or are you just being optimistic?"

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"They have no idea but I'm not leaving my wife alone." Food.

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Ah, but is it food that can be conveniently eaten while hug, is the question.

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Well, somewhat conveniently.

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Meh. Good enough.

I love you. I missed you.

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Yeah.

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Got any short-term plans?

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Feed you, hold you, hear the whole story in more detail, see if we can see all the way out there with the palantiri -

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Okay. She leans into him more and closes her eyes; she really was tired. Do you want any particular details first...?

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Not really, whatever you think's important...

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When you tried to convince me that the problem with the Ice was that the Nolofinweans crossed instead of that the boats burned I felt like you only cared that I had been hurt if it was convenient for you. I know it's untrue and unfair but that's how it felt. And I--don't want to argue with you about the Ice, ever, because you can make all the logical, reasonable arguments you want and I can't, not because I'm so in the wrong that there don't exist any but because I can't think of them over the memory of the roaring wind and screams of the dying and the all-encompassing bone-deep cold. So not only is it unpleasant in and of itself it feels like you're taking advantage of my impaired ability to formulate arguments.

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How about we just not make who is in more emotional pain into a contest. 

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I'm not trying to? I'm sorry. I love you. I wasn't--trying to hurt you with that, just--do you need to argue with us about this? We're here, aren't we? We're here because we want to be because we love you, disagreeing about the boats doesn't change that, I'm not saying you have to agree that we're right just because we're hurting...

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You're the one who brought it up!

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It's been bothering me. I said to drop it at the time and you did but I wasn't sure you wouldn't bring it up again or that you got why that was a bad idea, and I just wanted to--pre-empt that--I'm not trying to make who's hurting more into a contest but I am in fact hurting a not insignificant fraction of the time and I don't want pain to be something we have to hide from each other either...

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You said to drop it so I did. But you can't keep bringing it up if you want to have a rule I can't say anything about it.

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She sighs. I'm sorry. I don't--I don't know how to handle this--I just--I don't--I don't want a rule, just--I don't even know. I'm sorry.

I just don't want to hurt any more than I have to. I--I can't not bring it up, I have nightmares about it...

I don't think very clearly about this subject I don't want you hurt too I'm sorry--

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I just wish I'd been awake -

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I wish I could have done more when I realized you were injured.

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What happened - why weren't you on the ships -

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Didn't realize that when Maitimo said to get on the ships he meant right then. Went to sleep on shore. Overslept. Of all the stupid fucking things. And that's probably the last interaction either of them will ever have with him--no, don't go down that road.

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Yeah. Hugs.

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Even if--even if we could kill all the prisoners in Angband, somehow, and Mandos ever agreed to reembody him--we're not getting him back, are we.

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I don't know. Forever's a long time, and he's a Feanorian, he's stubborn. He'll be okay.

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I hope you're right. I love you. I'm sorry for--saying something that sounded like I was--judging you--I didn't meant it like that. I promise I didn't.

I'm kinda fucked up right now. We both are.

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Yeah.

Hug.

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If she just wants to sit here for a little while and be miserable can he just--hold her--and not try to tell her that things are okay or she shouldn't be sad, not try to comfort her or otherwise interfere with her sad except arguably just by holding her, please, she needs to decompress and part of that means not having to be okay right now.

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Yeah.

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She snuggles him and is sad.

Eventually she says, I'm not sure how much I can get better out here, unable to do things except hug you--it's better than not, but--at least in Tumunzahar I could learn things and be useful...

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I mean, you can do stuff here, what do you want to be doing?

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I don't even know right now. What can I do before anyone's figured out how to tell if I'm a trap or not?

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Get better at dreamshaping, the Enemy's not prepared for it? Scout the continent with me? 

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I can probably do both of those at the same time! ...I love you. Thank you for thinking of obvious things for me while my brain's not working right.

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I love you. I want you to be happy. I want to figure this out, and we will, and we can explore together in the meantime, just like before, and if anything scary gets near us we have three giant scary wolves.

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Huan's a dog, not a wolf.

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Huan's whatever he wants and if you make him too jealous he'll be a wolf.

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...D'you two want to see?

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Yeah, definitely.

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Okay you're going to need to either decuddle or at least shift your grip substantially if you don't wanna get squashed.

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He reluctantly steps back.

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And then there is a wolf the size of a horse in front of him. She licks his face.

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Hi, sweetheart.

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Hi! Aren't I pretty like this?

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Beautiful. 

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She nuzzles at him. Do wolves usually like getting scratched behind the ears and other stuff like that that dogs like? I haven't really explored, much.

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I can check for you.

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That sounds lovely.

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And does the wolf like scritches?

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Happy whimpering over Spouse Osanwe suggests yes.

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Oh, good. Then they can just do that. For a while. She's so soft.

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I'm still not glad I had this done to me nonconsensually but it did add another item to the list of reasons why you're the best husband ever, she remarks dreamily.

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I love you and I'm glad you can protect yourself and I just wish we could be sure -

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Yeah.

The wolf thing is actually more useful for the stamina boost than for the whole "being a wolf" thing. We killed every wolf that came after us with dreamshaping and there were a bunch.

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Awesome. Enemy'll feel like such an idiot.

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Oh, that was before the stamina boost. But, yes, I do rather enjoy the thought of killing him with something he did to me.

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I'm sorry I wasn't there -

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Blaming yourself for not having been inexplicably teleported hundreds of miles east is very silly.

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Should've stayed conscious so I knew you weren't with us -

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If you want to look on the bright side the stamina boost to dreamshaping might be legitimately vital to winning the war considering that our best chances were always "foreign magic" and "your dad invents something," and, um. One of those options is no longer on the table.

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Yeah.

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Imliss is, like, five different kinds of fucked up about your dad and Telvo dying.

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We all are.

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Yeah.

I love you.

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Snuggle. I will love you forever and I won't let you die again.

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I know you will. I love you so.

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Squeeze. Pet. 

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She continues to be soft and affectionate and appreciative of pettings.

I bet it would be fun to run with you on my back, she muses at one point.

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That does sound fun.

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She bends her front legs to make it easier for him to climb on.

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He does.

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She waits until she's sure he's secure and then takes off.

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He buries his face in her fur. This is excellent.

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I love you so much. No one else in the world would be so--you--at "suddenly, spouse is werewolf."

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Sweetheart, if it doesn't mean the Enemy can hurt you I am so, so delighted you're a werewolf.

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I know, it's so great.

It makes it feel like something good and beautiful instead of something violating. You make me feel good and beautiful instead of violated.

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I love you and I am totally in favor of random cosmic forces trying to fuck you over and only leaving you stronger.

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She skids to a stop. You need to get off so I can turn human and kiss you, she informs him.

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He can do that.

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And she resumes bipedality and throws her arms around his neck and kisses him.

(Turning into a wolf does not preserve one's wardrobe. She's gotten into the habit of covering herself in dream-worked clothing as soon as she stops being a wolf. This time she doesn't bother.)

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Oh god Idaia Idaia I missed you - 

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Here now, here now, oh love, darling sweetheart love you love you--

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I love you so much.

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It's so good to be home. Love you--missed you--

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Love you so much -

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Tumunzahar was lovely but my bed was far too cold each night without you in it beside me.

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I'll never be without you again.

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Mhm. My dear devoted darling. Love you so much.

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Want to eat some more? You really didn't eat enough, on the trip -

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I was rationing, it was a long trip. ...But yeah, I should probably eat some more.

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More dinner! It is not delicious - they're short on food too - but there is enough.

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She is hungry and cuddling her husband. It doesn't need to be delicious on its own.

Hopefully now that there's a sun food'll be easier to come by.

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Yeah, we're hoping.

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I wish I could help, but the only real way I can help with that kind of thing is also the thing that's already covered, so...

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It's fine. Thanks, though.

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And if I were doing light to help with that kind of thing I could do it from far enough away that I wouldn't have to come closer than I am. It's better that there's a sun, though.

It's been a long time since I've seen a sun.

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They're kinda pretty.

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They are. I think I missed having day and night. I mean, if you're going to have just one or the other, I was totally broken up by the Darkening too, but I like having both.

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I like night a lot better than day but the Moon's an improvement on just stars.

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I can't see as well as you do, the absence of a day-appropriate amount of light hinders me a lot more.

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Fair enough. I just - don't like reminders of the Trees much.

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Sunlight and Treelight are meaningfully different!

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Not really. It's Laurelin, or whatever's left of her.

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Okay that's weird. I don't think my original world ever had Trees...it feels more like my original world's sunlight than like Treelight...

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You can sort of see it - well, Elves can sort of see it - if you hold something up to block the light -

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Show me?

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He bounces the memory.

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Huh.

...The moon's been waxing and waning, though, what's up with that?

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Guy driving it is irresponsible, I think.

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It looks exactly like my world's moon waxing and waning though...

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No idea.

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If it stays regular like that it'd be really weird if it were the result of carelessness.

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And you're sure your Moon and Sun aren't drawn through the sky by Maiar?

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It is conceivably possible but then why have we never interacted with any kind of Ainu?

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Yeah, good question.

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And I don't think the other humans could dreamwork--not a single one had any dream stuff happen while we were there, that's statistically extraordinary for a group of people that size over that period of time when not a one is a trained dreamshaper, not if they have the ability, and none of the prophecies had any dreamwork in them--and no one in my original world could do music magic or create magic items the way you do it or the way the Dwarves do it or any way at all...

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Okay, so that's not the explanation.

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Maybe Orome told the others about me and they checked out my original world and saw that it was populated by humans and lit like so and decided that since this way of lighting things worked for humans they should copy it? ...Melkor's prophecies had a sun in them, but he only gave them after we'd been in Valinor a little while...

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Maybe. That'd be more proactive than Valar usually are, but...

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Yeah, I dunno.

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Hug. "Maybe someday we'll ask them."

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"Maybe." She doesn't sound terribly enthused by the prospect.

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"By the time we've killed one Vala maybe the others'll be nicer."

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"I will feel much better about the idea of being within anything range of any Vala once I'm magic enough to kill Melkor but, uh, I think if Valar understood incentives they'd behave--differently." Snuggle.

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"Yeah." Snuggle. "We'll get Dad back from them somehow -"

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"Him and Telvo and everyone who died on the Ice. Eventually."

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"Yeah. Somehow."

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He has a lap, right? She is going to turn back into a wolf and put her head in it and request ear scritches.

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He can do ear scritches.

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She loves him so.

Best husband ever.

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If I were you wouldn't have died -

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Mm, nope. Logically inconsistent. You are and I did so clearly the one not happening isn't a prerequisite for the other.

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I love you.

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I love you, and I'm here now, and you are an utter joy to come home to in wolf shape.

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I'm so glad you're safe and okay - mostly -

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Yeah. Hopefully safe and not a trap.

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I'd rather have you as a trap than not at all.

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Mhm. You're clever people, you can probably defuse a trap if there is one. Still hope it's not necessary.

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Yeah.

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We're going to hoist Morgoth on his own petard.

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I hope you're right so badly.

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Yeah. She shifts back human. Ear scritches are lovely but she wants to properly hug him now.

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Love you. Thought I'd never see you again.

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I'm right here. I love you so much.

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Stay alive, please -

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I will. She can't really promise him that but if anything did happen to her again it wouldn't help anything for him to be miserable in the meanwhile.

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Hug.

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So much hug. They have five Years to make up for, after all.

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And he thought it was forever.

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Yeah.

Does he want her to let him be not-okay or does he want her to remind him that it's over now?

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No, it's not. Well, that is, but not -

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Well I was, in fact, referring to that, so.

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I love you.

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I love you.

It wasn't forever. I'm alive and back and here in your arms.

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Yeah. Hugs. But I didn't have any reason to expect that -

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Mhm. Snuggles. Such snuggles.

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What do you want to do next?

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We should probably get back to Huan and Imliss at some point.

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Yeah. Okay.

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But Imliss objects to kissing in front of her so she's going to kiss him some more first.

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What a silly objection.

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Idaia would defend her sister if she had enough brainspace to devote to that as well as kisses.

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Kisses: very distracting.

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...Kisses and hairpetting? His hair's so soft.

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Yeah, that sounds nice.

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Oh, good. She missed this.

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Love you.

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Love you so much.

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And after a while they go back to Imliss. "Do you two have somewhere to stay - do you want to build one -"

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"We hadn't been here long enough to set anything up before you arrived."

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"Okay. We should probably do that."

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"Yeah. ...This isn't really an issue that came up, last time we were all mucking around the wilderness together. Blast Valinor and its cooperative weather."

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"I know! It's been getting colder here. They might just be toning down the Sun because it was a bit much."

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"...Or we might be getting winter."

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"Or that. Dunno why the Valar'd have introduced that, but..."

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"I hope it's not that but--who the fuck even knows--we'll need really good shelter if there's going to be winter."

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"Yeah. No one at the lake's going to be prepared, either."

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"...If this is winter the Nolofinweans need to not be taken by surprise by it."

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"They have as much information as we do."

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"Did anyone guess it might be winter besides me? You didn't so much have seasons in Valinor."

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"People've been talking about the possibility, there were parts of Valinor that had seasons even though Tirion didn't..."

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"Okay, as long as they're aware of the possibility."

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"We don't talk but I can't imagine it wouldn't have crossed their minds like it did ours."

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"Okay."

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"Shall we build something for you to live in?"

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"Yeah. I wish I knew more about how you insulate a house against winter."

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"Thick stone, presumably. Which has other uses."

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"Yeah, soundproofing is really great."

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"And safety from orcs."

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"Yeah, not having to have at least one person awake and keeping watch at all times'll be great."

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"I bet. Are you two tired? Do you need to sleep?"

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"More emotionally tired than physically, I think."

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"What do you need?"

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"Iunno. Hugs're good. Petting Huan's good."

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"Okay. We can do that." Sigh.

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"Haven't had much time to think about things like that.

 

Would--would it be possible for any of the others to. Visit. Briefly. Sometime."