It's not a particularly intimidating prison. The enforcers of the Celestial Sea, the Shining Shields, may be aggressive in their pursuit of their enemies, but the prisons themselves are run by all sorts of 'volunteers' from the Constellation, a mega-group that binds different religious groups to common goals. Most of them are here to attempt rehabilitating prisoners and giving them a new chance at life, or to guide them if the only thing that brought you here was simple debt.

Others are here to shoot your head off if you refuse to cooperate, but that's okay.

The cafeteria is as rowdy as ever, with different groups forming based around factors like culture, their former (or current) affiliations to pirate crews, and physical size.

However, even with all the idle chatter and the occasional tossed food item, you notice something quickly: a shorter human woman with unusually white hair for her age pacing back and forth as she mutters to herself, examining different parts of the cafeteria walls and upper platforms where the guards keep to themselves.

It's a big galaxy, but you're fairly sure you know this woman.

- Weird. Villanelle can't quite place her, but -

Decent chance she remembers Villanelle.

...Possibly from a fling.

Probably from a fling.

Well, Villanelle's curious, now.

She swaggers up to the woman (Lor something?).

"Something bothering you, my lady?" she asks.

She responds without actually looking up. "Ugh, of course something's wrong! I'm in here! They're out there! And I have no idea how I'm gonna change that!"

She then looks up at Villainelle and recognition crosses her face. As does a myriad of other emotions, confusion and shame being prominent.

"V-Vilanelle?! What are you doing here?! Wait, no- that makes sense. But of all the times!"

Yep, knows her.

"People usually change that by hiring a decent lawyer. I happen to actually have a law degree, if you're having trouble finding someone to represent you...?"

Pause.

"Though given what I'm in for the judge might not be impressed. Maybe I can hook you up with an old friend, though."

Lara shakes her head vigorously. "No no, that won't do. I need to be out of here, fast. The longer I'm here the more likely everything will go Boom and I don't want that."

She goes back to muttering as she examines what appears to be an air vent that is definitely too small for her to crawl into.

"You're being way too obvious if breaking out is your plan - and, look, I've done this whole circus before. The Cellies aren't too philosophically hot on fair and speedy trials, but they don't like feeding us longer than they have to. They'll toss you before a judge within a month - but you fail at escaping? You get caught after getting out? You're looking at life somewhere a lot worse than here."

This gives her pause for a moment. "...Maybe. But if I don't get out of here soon, 'the rest of my life' is going to be pretty dang short! So that's a risk I'll have to take, thank you very much."

"Why not? You got one of the crews gunning for your head?" It doesn't look like that - no one's glaring at the girl in a 'wants her dead' way.

"N-no, it's not... that. Though they might if they knew." She looks around to see if anyone's listening in as she keeps talking. "Look. You know my job? Go around, play bodyguard for some people as they rifle through old ships and ruins?" She looks angry for a moment. "They found something. They were talking about using it or selling it. But... if it does what they say it does, it needs to be destroyed. Tossed into a black whirl, if possible. So I took it and ran." She sighs as she motions to the cafeteria. "But I got caught. The Shields took me for a petty thief and tossed it into their evidence pile, because my bosses didn't want people to know what I took. So now, it's here, we're here, and we're probably super-mega dead if we stay."

"You think your old bosses are coming after you?"

"Oh, I don't even think it'd be personal. If they find it, they might decide to test it on the prison, and then there won't be a prison. So you can see why I'm freaking out!"

"Do you know the artifact's name?"

She looks frustrated as she moves in closer to whisper it to you, covering her mouth so her mouth can't be read from the side either. "It's... It's a Pandora Crystal. A real one."

In a harsh whisper back: "What the fuck? Are you sure?"

"The junked ship we found it on was made of solid cheese, including the crew. SO I'M PRETTY SURE."

"Shit."

She's met the King, gotten pardoned by him so he clearly likes her -

A rumor of a Pandora Crystal will escalate that far, and the King is funny with good taste in women but he's also a brutal warlord who would conquer the galaxy and grind it under his golden shoes and, with a fucking Pandora Crystal, probably accidentally tile it in tarrasques instead.

"It's in evidence, still?"

She did not come prepared to plan a breakout but never let it be said that Villanelle can't improvise.

"If I know these people half as well as you do, it should be, yeah."

"Right. So - talking about this here's not really safe. Wanna come back to my room? There's no one listening in there, and the audio on the cameras is off."

"Because of course it is. Alright, and if anyone asks, there definitely was *never* any funny business."

"Well, certainly not the break and run kind. But if I take a pretty girl back to my cell - well, that's a funny business all its own."

"That! That's exactly what I meant and you know it!"

She laughs.

"No funny business in jail, got it."

Lara sighs as the stress of all this being solely on herself starts to leave. "Alright. Lead the way, I guess."

She nods, heading back to her well appointed room. She sits herself on the desk chair, leaving the bed open for Lara.

"So - what resources do you got for this?"

"I mean, there's always me-myself-and-my-sick-moves. I can do a lot without my gear, but I'm not sure about taking on the whole prison. You?"

"Fighting our way out would be dumb, not unless we bring in a lot more allies, and that risks leaks. Seriously."

"Okay, then what's your plan? You know I'm more of a Doer than a Thinker. I think I'm lucky that I got this far in the first place."

"Well, ideally I talk a guard into eloping, but worst comes to worst I steal their keys."

"Ah, yes, of course. Seducing. Why didn't I think of that." Her sarcasm is obvious.

...Oh yeah that's where Villanelle knows her from. Guard. That Villanelle seduced.

She bats her eyelashes, still. In her spacer accent: "Aw, I woulda made an honest woman outta ya if I coulda, sweetheart."

Pause.

In her lawyer accent (just crisp and posh enough to imply nobility without committing to one aesthetic): "Sadly I'm an unrepentant scoundrel and have never been an honest woman in my life."

Lara's face turns crimson at the "sweetheart" remark, and is clearly trying not to show it as she continues. "I noticed. But, scoundrel that you are, you're the closest thing to someone I can trust in this place. You're not evil. ...I think. So, I'll go along with whatever plans you come up with."

"Pretty sure last time someone ran me through a detect evil and good pair I came out neutral. Tend to queer the law-chaos binary, though."

"Pft, those things aren't reliable if you aren't some kinda demon. Sometimes even if you are."

"Heh. Well, I'm not a murderous sort of evil, at least, or if I am I'm not the kind that thinks a Paradox Crystal is any kind of good idea."

"For stealing the keys - if your fingers are as deft as I remember, I think our best bet is me distracting a guard, and if I can't seduce them you liberate their key ring. Though we should figure out signals for that..."

"Ugh. I can't believe I have to watch you work. But alright."

Lara goes over some basic signals from her guard training.

"I'll try to keep it short and sweet," she says, adapting to the signal system easily.

Soon, an opportunity presents itself in the form of a target: one of the female guards- a half-elf with dark skin, a bright pink undercut, and various tattoos- is to check on the cell to make sure everything's in order.

Oh hello lovely.

Villanelle, fortunately, has met with - and flustered - this guard before, so she has an opening.

Everything's certainly in order here (she says, blouse artfully a bit disarrayed, hair mused). Are they working you hard, darling~?

She seems surprised by the friendliness. Oh, pretty hard,  she says. There was a mass arrest recently and she's had to deal with a couple of real weirdos. Dealing with you is almost like taking a break.

Aww, thanks. She mostly tries to only get the judge's knickers in a knot, after all. Still, surely none of the weirdos weren't something a strong girl like you couldn't handle...?

Normally yeah but they were like, the kind of weirdos you don't want to handle. Along with a bunch of confused brawlers who didn't recall getting into a fight, there was some guy that looked to be some kind of walking talking mushroom who seemed more than happy to be here. It creeped her out.

The other weirdo was some feisty beast-girl who actually tried biting people who got too close. She really didn't wanna be here for some reason.

Huh! She hasn't met any mushroom people. She might swing by his cell later.

And awww, are you okay? The beast girl didn't bite you, right?

No no, it's fine, it's totally fine, she just wants to put it behind her at this point, really. Find something else to do and forget about it.

Well, Villanelle's been told she's rather good at being quite... Distracting...

Oh, she doesn't doubt it, you're very pretty and all, and uh, is it hot in here or is it just her?

Oh, it's quite hot in here.

(She's also quite edging into the guard's personal space.)

Oh, good, for a moment she thought it was her nerves or something, but maybe she should have a talk with engineering later about ventilation. Not good to have prisoners be uncomfortable after all, and uh- wow, your eyes are very pretty.

Oh so are yours, darling~

Villanelle's breath is by now ghosting over the guard's cheek.

What do you say we get quite distracted?

Ah, screw it. What are they gonna do, fire her?

Well, Villanelle makes it quite worth the ride in the meantime. 

Lara has to suppress a groan as she lifts the guard's key from a pile of her belongings before leaving the room. Doesn't this prison have cameras? Whatever, it's not going to be her problem for long.

The guard is sent away quite relaxed and quite unaware of her missing key. Villanelle steps out of the room, straightening her clothes, and glances over to find Lara.

Lara flashes the sign for 'mission complete.' "So... what now?"

"We should scout allies - fast. She mentioned a beast girl, a recent arrival, who might be willing to help..."

"...I'm going to feel guilty about this for a while aren't I? Dammit. Better than getting everyone killed I guess."

"Possibly. How about this - we survive, make it big, and send her a nice cushy apology check."

"Oh, I meant the whole 'probably letting a bunch of people escape', but yeah that too."

"Once a guard, always a guard, huh?"

"What can I say? I like to know where the threats are, and 'somewhere out there' isn't very comforting." She seems to whisper to herself, "Please be all non-violent criminals."

"This place's mostly political prisoners, small time druggies, and sodomites, darling. They don't let the murderers wander around like this."

"Oh, good. Okay. I can do this. I can do this. Save the crystal. Save the universe. It'll balance out. No biggie."

"Saving the universe'll more than balance out. But c'mon, let's get moving."

The girl is not very hard to find. She seems to be loudly arguing with someone in the cafeteria, though who with is a mystery at this distance. It's hard to imagine that whoever is shouting "NOT MY FAULT YOUR HAND WAS SO SHODDILY BUILT!" could be anybody else.

Villanelle bounces over, heading straight for the center of the argument.

A mostly human girl with grey hair and ears on top of her head instead of on the sides is gesticulating wildly while holding what seems to be someone's prosthetic hand, letting it flap loosely as she goes. "Yeah, you heard me! Get a better hand job next time! This one's all soft and limp!"

The person she is arguing with appears to be a large bugbear man with an eyepatch and a now missing prosthetic hand. "You wanna die that badly, punk?!"

She swaggers up. "What seems to be the matter here, fellas?"

Roxy frowns at the newcomer. "This asshat was blaming ME for getting us all into this mess! Not my fault you picked a fight in the middle of the street!"

The man growls. "You tried to rip me off!"

She holds the hand up. "No, THIS was ripping you off. I was trying to provide a service."

"So you two are in until you can cool your heels?"

"Not likely. He's a wanted pirate and I'm quote-unquote "a repeat offender." Pfft, so what if a bunch of pirates got caught in the line of fire, I was being proactive in defending myself, that's all!"

"I hate you so much."

"It's a pretty big prison. I can help you two avoid each other, at least."

The bugbear man snarls. "Avoid?! Oh, she better avoid me, if I ever get her alone she won't be making it out of here alive." He snatches his hand back from the girl and reattaches it, making sure the middle finger works before moving on.

She shrugs as he goes. "Yeah, because clearly I'm SO SCARED of you! See you around, chump!"

"You're a bold sort."

"Not really. What's he gonna do, kill me? I'll be out of here one way or the other before he can try."

"Got a plan for that?"

She narrows her eyes suspiciously. "What's it to ya?"

"Well, I'm missing a bit of chaos and not much else, myself."

"Well... Chaos I can do, but why should I bother helping you?"

"My own plan has a few key points."

"....Ooooooh. Oh. Well then. That certainly makes things easier. Do you have a good time for chaos or are you just going to wait for whatever happens?"

"Sooner's better than later, but I'm flexible on the when."

"Okay, then I might as well get to work. Whatever the signal ends up being, you'll know it when you see it. I'll happily leave without you so don't screw this up."

She flashes a small screwdriver and gives it a twirl before walking off, clearly amused at something.

She gives a jaunty wave then goes up update Lara.

"Great, so now we get to wait and hope this random stranger can come through for us. Just gotta tell myself it's either this or dying, I can do this."

"It's not so bad. Want a little distraction?"

She opens her mouth as if to say "yes" and then thinks twice about it. "...what kind of distraction?"

"Depends on how you'd rather pass the time between now and whenever our new friend comes through." She winks.

She lets out a loud sigh. "Fine. Whatever you have in mind. I might be about to die anyways."

"Oh, I promise I'll make it quite good for you..." Kiss?

Lara proceeds to make regrettable decisions.

Villanelle will make the ride quite worth it in the meantime.

Unfortunately, she suspects the afterglow's about to get interrupted by their distraction...

A voice crackles through the cheap, tube-shaped intercoms they've placed throughout the complex.

"Can I have your attention, please? Ahem, ahem-hem-hem. I have found a panel with all sorts of buttons and dials on it. I think I'm going to start pressing a bunch. See what happens. If this results in a prison riot and/or breakout, well, OOPS."

" - I like her a lot."

Lara is already halfway through getting her clothes back on and is clearly trying to rush. "Right yes well let's get a move on before my ability to regret things turns back on!"

Giggle.

She... Technically gets her clothes on. The important bits. They come on and off easily, anyways, so this part's fast, and she can run out into the corridor topless while shrugging on her shirt just fine, as long as she's got her legs and feet all sorted out.

How much chaos is already happening?

The lights throughout the complex have started turning various colors, as an automated voice struggles to keep up with them. "BLUE ALERT- GREEN ALERT- FUCHSIA ALERT-"

The voice is silenced and replaced with Roxy again. "Hey, which one of you made a prison break playlist? Whoever it was, THANKS!" Music begins blaring as the lights continue to change colors, making the area feel almost like a dance club... even as some sprinklers open up and start spraying everyone.

"Now this is my kind of party!"

Hmm... First order of business, a way out, second, a ship, optional third (probably to be accomplished on the way to the others) a weapon, and giving Roxy a path out too...

Lara glances about trying to think of an optimal path to get past potential guards and rioters. "I think most people prefer parties where the cops aren't in attendance!"

"You don't go to the right kinds of parties, then."

Her eye catches on something interesting. "Now c'mon! Time's a-wasting..." And she takes off at a run.