What? Huh? What the hell is this place? It... appears to have a sign, implying it's open to the public probably? Katie carefully opens the door and peeks inside without fully going inside so people can still see and hear her in the event she gets shot or stabbed or something.

The door has a bell on it which goes clinkle-clinkle. Nobody stabs her.

It's full of weird things - taxidermy and lovely fantasy maps and dried plants and art glass and a huge orrery that might be trying to represent the Firefly setting or something because it's sure not the Solar System and funny clockwork kinetic sculptures and a columnar glass enclosure full of weirdly giant butterflies and fancy rugs and furniture so eclectic it would strike a typical interior designer dead on the spot.

Behind the counter, there is a woman who looks maybe twenty, if that - the shop looks like it ought to belong to a wizened spinster - but at least she's dressed up as a witch, black robes and pointy hat and an armillary sphere in her hand. Spin spin spin goes the armillary sphere.

"Goooooood afternoon to you," she says.

"I'm uuuh, allowed to be in here, right?"

"Welcome welcome come in! You look like the most interesting visitor of all day long. Come here and let me have a look at you." She holds out her hands.

She steps in, cautiously. From the wording of the woman's sentence she's a little worried she's walking into some kind of weird LARP sex dungeon but female on female rape is pretty rare so she'll probably be able to just leave if that's the case. (No offense. It's not that the woman is ugly, just too skinny for her.)

Handclasp! (The door clinkles shut behind her.)

"Aha!" says the proprietor, and then her witch hat flies off because it has been displaced by the sudden appearance of gigantic bunny ears. "You are the most interesting visitor of all day! Did you know that you are a witch-in-waiting?"

Alright, the bunny ears push it over the line. Those have Connotations when placed on an otherwise human woman. "Alright, sorry if I'm being rude but I'm just gonna ask point blank. Is this a sex thing?"

"Not with me it is not, I'm taken."

"Well that's fine with me, you're not my type, so uuuh, proceed."

"Glad that is cleared all up! You are not a witch but you can walk out of here a witch, I am a professional time-to-be-a-witch-now person, it is called awakening. Free of charge to you, lots of people like having us professional awakeners professionally awakening. Much better results to do it here than by getting hit by a car or somesuch and letting your subconscious subconsciously subconscious you a power set. You get to pick what species you wish to be and which fun tidbits and phenomenal arcane powers you wish to have and what you will pay to get them!"

"I uuuh... Okay. Wow. I don't really know what to say here so I'm just gonna indicate that I approve of this and let you keep talking."

"Great! Now, nothing whatever is final till you say so, but you can have a look at your choices and decisions like so," and then there is a sort of virtual reality effect and they're not in the shop any more, and instead Katie is floating beside the proprietress's aura in a spangled void.

"Looks like way back in the familial tree you have... one two three four... a baker's dozen of possible things to be besides human - for witches we say 'neutral' instead of 'human', for connotation reasons, but mostly the same thing. If you always wanted to be a centaur now is your moment. Oh, you can also be the thing I am, though not necessarily of the hare variety, that is cosmetic..."

"No thank you on being a centaur, that'd come with a lot of accessibility issues and presumably I can ride around on a broomstick now or some shit so being able to run slightly faster isn't worth it. What are my options beyond that and the thing you are and 'neutral'?"

"Daeva - fancier jazzier human like a superhero comic book artist drew them. Naiad, mermaidy folks but they can have legs whenever. Lamia, snakes from the waist down. Luxal, can pass for human with funny contact lenses and jewelry decisions, metal bones and gemstone heart'n'irises though. Sylph, light as a feather and floating around always. Empusa, basically a vampire. Lilin, horns and batwings and tails. Tail. One tail to a customer. Dravir, dragony folks. Orc is what it sounds like. Jotun, frost giant, also accessibility issues. Dwarf, what it sounds like. Details on any of these?"

"I do have a question, but I'm afraid you'll judge me for it."

"I am the most professional," the witch assures her.

"Can uuuhhhhh.... can Daeva be fat? 'Like a comic book artist drew them' kind of implies otherwise."

"Daeva can! This rules out sylph and empusa - sylph because they weigh about nothing, empusa because you freeze how you are right at this now - but any other listed thing you can look how you wish as long as you look like the species you pick and all those species could be fat."

"Ok. Is there like, a catch to being a daeva, given that they're apparently just humans but prettier?"

"All species have their own magic affinities, mana charge methods, and extra perks you can take on top to be more special as a species member. So if you want magics that call for the soul affinity, neutral is better than daeva; if you want to charge by going to sleep, neutral is better than daeva; if you want to be both of a sorceress and a warlock for example, then the neutral perk is for you. But there is not per se anything to catch you if it sounds great! Daeva charge off emotions - directed at them from one person, like somebody being in love with you, or directed anywhere from a crowd, like going to the football game while everybody is yelling and planning to be hooligans. The bonus perk for daeva is to control your body extra - heart rate and temperature and need for oxygen and fertility sorts of things."

"Well uuuh, I don't know what any of these things are so can I maybe save the choice for later? As it stands, being prettier sounds nice, but sleep sounds like an easier way to recharge my mana, and though I don't know what a sorceress or a warlock is exactly being both of them sounds cool than the daeva perk, and anyways I can hopefully just use my powers to make myself prettier."

"You get to design how you look within parameters! Unless you pick the thing that makes you ugly and then you still can but the result will be ugly. Tabling species for later - warlock, sorceress, and academic are the three kinds of witch! Warlocks have patrons, gods or angels or demons or suchlike, giving quests for loot and magical powers; we can see who has made you an offer if you like the sound of this. Fastest way to get magical powers, and it never slows down. Sorceresses are the only ones who can do all the elementalism magic - everybody else has to stick to affinities and one more past that; get more powerful by practicing, but every time you redeem some practicing for valuable prizes it gets harder to do more of it. I am one of these. Academics are the booklearning types, lots of time in the library, most of the big inventors and theory folks are them, they have the same redeeming for valuable prizes gets harder every time thing but it's studying they trade in, which has the advantage that they do not need to spend mana to read a book. Each type has different magics that are in-affinity for the class - elementalisms obviously, for sorceresses, and also having a familiar; academics get fun utility things like portals and potions and runes, warlocks spooky things like summoning demons and curses and divination. Obvious standout among these, or more details?"

"You said if I'm a Neutral I get to pick two? Academic and warlock both sound good, assuming warlocks don't all inevitably get screwed over by their patrons. Also, there's a thing that makes you ugly? Why would you ever pick that?"

"For eight quantized power points. More if you're a warlock. But most people do not pick it. Neutral can with their perk be two - technically, pick two growth methods, must be underlyingly really one or the other for affinities and loots and stuff. Warlocks do not get inevitably screwed over, though you will have the same warlock boss forever so pick one you like. Let's see who it is who wants you... we have here Beelzebub, Annapurna, Chicōmecōātl, Acte, Sekhmet, and Tajimamori. I do not know most of these but your phone will connect to magic internet in my shop and you may look them up to see if anyone has left them favorable reviews. Beelzebub is a demon, that much I know."

"Think I'm leaning towards academic with bonus warlock growth method, then, though I'd still like to know more about their specific powers."

"Warlock growth method on academic base does not get you fabulous bribes, do you want to see what fabulous bribes all these people want to give you to be their warlock?"

"Ok, yeah, that sounds like something I should check out first."

Voilà.

Beelzebub is offering a Hell-themed magic motorcycle and an evil trident that is useful for torturing people. Annapurna's got a magic rock that'll make transmutations more convenient and upgrade magical witch currency, a gem of renewal which contains a small double of its witch which will take damage on its witch's behalf and can be healed accordingly, and magic glasses that can switch between aura sight and X-ray and heat vision. Chicōmecōātl is offering her servant dolls, a dollmaker's kit that can turn other people into Doll-race witches, and a sun shard (magic weapon). Acte is offering a vessel that produces magical nymph water, a magic mirror, some cold hard witchy cash, and hand-me-down witch clothes that will boost her potionmaking abilities. Sekhmet is offering a magic rifle and a magic bullet crafting situation to go with it, and also magic tattoo inks. Tajimamori is offering a deck of cards that can summon duplicates of other witches to fight for you like they're Pokémon or something, and a magic key that can make a way through any obstructive surface, and a magic cauldron so you can brew several potions in parallel.

"Wow, that's... A lot to consider. Wait, you mentioned some stuff about potionmaking, I thought that was an Academic thing?"

"Oh, anyone can learn it unless you take the thing that means you cannot learn something, it is only cheaper in magical power points for them. The Daeva affinity can also cheapen it - Life, in addition to Water and Nature."

"Oh, that's convenient. Do the discounts from race and class stack?"

"Yes! If what you want most in all the world is being an alchemist I would recommend any of daeva, naiad, taura, or luxal, as all those have alchemy affinity, and academic."

"What things are huma- uh, neutrals better at?"

"Not better, just cheaper. You can blow many points on a thing at full price if this sparks your joy. But for the soul and body affinity, runes, hexes, familiars, necromancy, consortation, divination."

"Consorwhatnow?"

"That's the demon summoning one."

"Yeah, those all sound pretty useful, I think I'll stick with Neutral. As for the warlock bribes, I don't know how to ride a motorcycle, so Beelzebub is out. Probably the same for the sniper rifle, though I'm curious what the tattoo inks do. Curious about the magic mirror too. And what even is a sun shard? Do you shoot beams of light with it, or just stab people with it, or what?"

"Many of those things are to be had on the open market, if expensively. Tattoo inks are for tattooing runes on your you. Or your somebody else or your cat or whatever. Magic mirror is for scrying, and you can send a copy of your mirror to where its scrying sensor is for video calls if you like, with anyone who can see the sensor in the first place - so, witches. Sun shards can copy possible shapes from other weapons if you bap them with it and it's glowy and weighs nothing for you but lots for whoever you hit, and it glows. You can meld it to your magic wand-staff-broomstick situation for convenience."

"Not totally sure which of the bribe packages I want but definitely one of them. Is there any equivalent special unique Academic perk I would be missing out on?"

"Learn two schools of magic as far as you can go - to rank five in your case - without spending points, just time. Can't have them today, because I'm doing points, but later. Delayed gratification, higher ultimate power ceiling."

"...God damnit that's tempting. How much time? Can't I also gain more powers by doing quests for my warlock patron, which also costs time but is probably more fun?"

"Two different things - power in pocket to spend, and power to have room for in your you. You can make both those things go up by taking complications - like the ugliness one but there are more to choose from. Academic boosts the second thing by making some magics not take power points and only take the time you would have needed for earning them. Put in a full time job amount of study for a week and get ten 'focus'. Spend ten focus for one power point... the first time. Twenty the next time, thirty, forty... per time you trade it in, so if you study full time job amounts for years and trade it all at once, best exchange rate. Spend on stuff right away and slow very down."

"God damnit, now I'm torn. I want to be as powerful as possible, but that sounds really frustrating and the warlock bribes sound so cool."

"Quite. Well, the bribe things you liked most are not unbuyable with money that you can get with power."

"Hmmm... But if I took the Neutral perk, I could get the higher power ceiling but still level up by doing fun quests and not just studying?"

"Still have to study for your no-power-point magic, but yes."

"I think I'll do that then. A lot of the items in the bribe packages don't sound very cool anyway. Actually, wait, hold on, how pretty are the magic potionmaking clothes?"

"Looks like -" Lots of pleats, dark green, big pockets and apron and elbow length sleeves, embroidered with newts and leaves and triangles. "Without these you can have your own altered any which witchy way, there is magic for it."

"Ehhh, yeah, still better to take the perk that can't just be bought with money."

"This one can't actually, to be clear, without it you will need to master potions elsewise."

"Wait, shit, how big of a boost does it give, then?"

"Cuts the cost of buying the magic in half, so, good if you are a warlock and do not have class affinity in potions, but you have to wear the outfit to brew. I think it is not a good deal for you if you lean academic, to be clear. But it is not possible to buy this specific witch's old clothes at witch Walmart."

"Ehh, potions doesn't sound that cool anyway. But also a lot of the ones that do sound cool are Warlock stuff. What all do Academics get? I remember runes but the coolness of that one depends a lot on specifics."

"Runes are how you make magic items! The one for your clothes and broomstick is also Academic affinity, and there's portals, and aethernautics which is like astronomy and dimensional physics together."

"Why must I be God's most indecisive soldier."

"That one is not offering you any bribes at all."

"I- uh, wait, Abrahamic God is real?"

"Probably! There is at least somebody who is quite big and not anybody else. The pan-Abrahamic witchy faction are pretty sure."

"The whatnow?"

"There are factions, you can be in one - it is sort of like picking a country to live in only it affects what magic you can get. There's a pan-Abrahamic faction and they are called the Watchers. I am for job reasons neutral about factions though I can say things about what's popular lately and what your other choices would work well with mechanicswisely."

"Aren't there like, rules against witchcraft in all three of the Abrahamic religions?"

"Not the sects full of witches!"

"I see. What are the other factions?"

"Two colleges called Arcadia and Hawthorne, the Feywilds ay kay ay the Alfheimr Alliance, Lunabella which is on the moon, the Hespatian Covens, and the O.R.C. - sort of magic law enforcement ish - and Alphazon - megacorp to own them all."

"The last two sound pretty lame, and normally I'm not the biggest fan of the education system but for all I know the magical education system works completely differently. No idea about the others. Hey, you said they had exclusive magics? What are those?"

"Arcadia, digicasting - going into a book or video game or whatnot, or taking things out of them. Hawthorne, lots of fun utility magics for with wands. Feywilds, covenants - magic contract drafting. Lunabella, Domains, demiplane pocket dimension dealies. Hespatians, assorted rituals involving things like being naked and sacrificing animals. Watchers summon angels. O.R.C. and Alphazon do things with gadgets and cyborgery and suchlike instead of magic per se."

"Wait, going into a book or video game? Like, actually? For real? Like, could I, I don't know, go into Lord of the Rings and talk to random Hobbits in Hobbiton and they'd be fully sapient people and not just automata?"

"I do not cast any digis personally, they would talk to you and seem quite real in the moment but I do not know how much of them is at home in there."

"Oh my fucking God I'm going to have an aneurysm this is all completely insane. Do I have to choose my faction right away? God I hate making decisions so fucking much why is there always a catch this is my own personal ironic hell."

"I can stay in city another two days, for sleeping on it. You needn't choose any but if you choose none you get the none faction magic."

"Oouuuaaaagggghhhhhh time limit time limit time limit Katie no like time limit....."

"If you want you can pick only a race and class and whatever drawbacks leas alienate you, and spend all your points later? The fate twist for a faction lets you buy their magic today but you can also just go take a digicasting class at Arcadia the long way, should work out all right. Also I have witch Internet if you want more researching."

Katie takes a deep breath. "It's ok. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. Give me the witch internet, please."

"Network is HareNet, hare like bunny not hair like Rapunzel, password today is 'Summer Court' capital S capital C yes a space."

She begins typing that in. "Is there a special witch search engine I need to use, or will Google work?"

"When you connect then popping up should occur."

Indeed there is a dialog box: would she like to use HexVPN? And if she hits yes then it takes her to AlphaSearch.

is academic witch study fun or boring

warlock patron reviews

sun shard price

magic tattoo inks price

magic cauldron price

The results for the first one are sort of like what you'd get if you Googled "is studying meteorology fun or boring", with the results boiling down to "people who like it like it and people who do not do not".

All prices are given in Ҝ. The sun shard is a couple orders of magnitude more expensive than the inks, and search results say that you don't actually need a magical cauldron and any old pot will do unless it's not induction-compatible and you are trying to brew on an induction stove.

There is a website called Glass Heaven but everyone who offered Katie power is marked as "no reviews yet", except Beelzebub where there is one positive review flagged as likely dishonest and a warning banner about dealing with demons.

"Hey, how much are Witch Kisses worth? Like, how many of them can I expect to earn per hour doing work available to an entry-level witch? Can they be converted to USD and back?"

"A Kiss takes six minutes to mint, if you have the mana. So you will basically never find magic work that pays less than ten an hour because if it is magic work, you have to have the mana, and it must compete with minting. You in particular are going to be quite powerful and can charge lots for stuff most people cannot do. You can buy Kisses with USD and vice-versa but people mostly do not do much of that unless they are banks, it is not too hard to make a little regular money doing magic and very hard to make a little magical money without it."

"I have one of those super special magical cores like in the Harry Potter fanfiction?"

"I think possibly we read different fanfictions but you have rank 5 potential and most people top out at 3, and you have room for more power points in your you than most also."

"I don't actually read much HP fanfic, I just hear things about tropes. Anyways yeah, I think I'm going for Academic with a side of Warlock. As for factions, let me do some online research." She searches up Arcadia on the Witch Internet.

Are the characters in digicasted media people?
They're very convincing. But they only have the extent that was dreamed into them by their original creator. Since the creator probably didn't imagine a cardboard person who couldn't hold a normal conversation, that's not what you'll see when you're inside a book or a game; but if you push too hard you will discover that they don't necessarily have a favorite color or know the names of all their siblings. Most characters brush this off, because they were imagined as not being distressed about having not been fully fleshed out, but in a few more philosophical works you can really alarm them.

Well that's a little unsettling. What about Hawthorne? What are they like? What do those wands Nia mentioned do?

Hawthorne's website is very Web 1.0. The background is pale grey, the links are blue, the images of serious uniformed witches in labs and on brooms are static, and the whole thing is formatted in a table. It has:

- a list of wand spells taught at each rank (highlights that might catch Katie's eye include Counterspell, assorted painful dueling spells, Mage Hand which gives feedback just like normal hands, and, at rank 5, one to make things bigger on the inside, and ones that permanency-ify or contingency-ify other spells);
- a rubric of student behavior and according disciplinary penalties up to and including (for crimes such as "aggravated Outsider contamination") execution, with a downloadable PDF that advertises itself as being more than three hundred pages long;
- a map of the campus (it's under the Greenland ice sheet, and it is very large, with fourteen different libraries);
- a preliminary House sorting quiz (there are more than a hundred Houses and being sorted, even tentatively and nonbindingly by this form, requires information Katie doesn't have yet like which magics she has at her highest rank);
- a course catalog, with all the expectable magic classes, and also required seminars in behavioral, physical, spiritual, and social health;
- an explanation of the strange underground illumination cycle, the way new buildings add themselves to campus on their own as-needed, and a link to the surrounding college town, for a value of "town" which has more people in it than Germany;
- an academic calendar.

Ookay, Wands look fun but that sounds unsettlingly authoritarian, what about Alfheimr?

The Summer Court has a central website which is almost entirely just lists of people and the titles they hold and who they are in fealty to. The Winter Court has no such thing. She can find stuff like 20 Top Alfheimr Vacation Destinations and Top Winter Court Shakeups The News Didn't Cover and A Newbie's Guide to Feywilds Monsters.

"Hey, what magic do uuuh, Alfheimites get?"

"Covenants. Magic contracts and laws."

"Sounds boring. I'll pass." How about this Lunabella place? It's on the moon, but that doesn't give a lot of useful information on its own.

Lunabella has a website, which is the text of the Constitution and a public record "family tree" of which citizens are owned by which other citizens, with the king himself being enslaved to the constitution. The Constitution is really nice and human-rightsy considering how everyone is enslaved.

Oookay, she's not sure if that's better or worse than Hawthorne. "What about Lunabella?"

"Domains! There is a rank zero anyone can learn, to make a pocket dimension copy of where you are but without bringing any people along, so you can have a chat or a duel or whatever without tugging the Veil so hard. At high ranks this is how they are so hidden despite being right there on the moon."

Eh. Not as cool as Digicasting. How about the Hespatian Covens?

The Hespatian Covens do not have a website. However, some of their subdivisions do; they're behind a couple of openly operating sororities in Hawthorne, and also, apparently, Hell has a website, which lists the Hespatian Headquarters as a landmark. People talking about Hespatians on the internet think they are scary, or just trying to be edgy for attention, or cultists, or universally evil, or all bark and no bite, or behind the following laundry list of assassinations, or chaired by Satan Himself, etc.

Ooooh, these guys sound fun. "What about the Covens?"

"Their magic is called Occultism! Lots of rituals with sacrifices - at rank one you just have to be either naked or all wrapped up but past that there is a lot of killing stuff or alternately having sex with whoever you are doing the ritual with, many need you to have company. Not quick to perform, but versatile, luck spells and fate divination and shadow plane sneaking around and at rank five some very serious buffs from harvesting souls in Limbo."

"Ooohhhhh. Katie like. So if I join the Hespatian sorority at Hawthorne, do I get that *and* Wands?"

"Probably, but I can only guarantee one or the other from here, you will not be able to take ranks in whichever other one till you meet someone to teach. Most likely best to do the Hespatian fate twist and then enroll yourself in Hawthorne without it, since they will take you either way and Hespatia may not."

"Actually, wait, hey, if I were to join Lunabella, would I get to choose my master, or would I have one assigned?"

"Oh, you choose! Go auction yourself off and hold out for whatever you please."

"Okay, yeah, if I got a sufficiently hot master that might be tempting. How do I see who wants me?"

"There are marketplaces for it up there! Recruiters! I do not think anyone already wants you, on account of they do not know you exist."

"How do I check if they would?"

"Well, by going to the moon. You cannot go yet as you are not a witch. I suppose you could post a classified ad?"

"But wait like, if I choose Lunabella then I'm automatically part of the faction, it seems, which apparently means I must have a master, but how is it decided who gets me initially?"

"No one gets you initially. If you have me fate-twist you for Lunabella you are arranging that it will happen, but fate can be patient enough for you to go to the moon and sell yourself - so long as you will actually do that. It may become testy if you try to flip it off."

"Huh, I see. But like, the fate manipulation can't guarantee me a master I'll like, can it?"

"It cannot, no."

"Oh, also it seems like the other factions have like, geographical territories where I'll get to live, what are the Covens's like? Do they even have one?"

"In Hell, but you probably do not move straight there right away. Technically Alfheimr also does not give you a dormroom, it is just a world."

"...do you know what Hell's like?"

"Never been. Paintings of it very spooky, prior residents review negatively."

"Huh. Think I'm still going with the Covens though. Cool sex magic is worth having to provide my own accomodations."

"Cannot guarantee your ritual partners are hot."

"They're my rituals, don't I get to pick them?"

"You can abstain, but Hespatians are organized in secrety little cellular arrangements. If your cellular arrangement is full of twos, you cannot necessarily find you a nine to do the do with."

"Ok, yeah, to be clear, the actual effects of the magic sound nice, not just the process, and also hopefully I'll be able to find a cell of shall we say like-minded individuals, and if I don't I can just do the versions of the rituals where you kill stuff."

"Alrighty. What to look at next?"

"Well, I've picked the big things, right? Race, class, faction, isn't it just the minor details now?"

"Hespatian Neutral academic with warlock on top! But the other thing you must decide here if ever is complications - spend your points later if you wish but to determine how many you have and how many you one day might have, you can add inconveniences."

"Oookay, what are my options for complications?"

"Melt like wicked witch of the west? Or similar problem with fire or iron, if preferred."

"No way, I'm excited to go swimming now that I'm about to stop being disgustingly bony."

"Then probably you do not want the ones where you are very dense and sink or very light and float?"

"Yeah, nope. Man, these are weird. Do you have any recommendations? Ones that I would be able to manage particularly easily?"

"Witch mark is popular, third nipple - appears in a random spot but I can move it for you no charge."

"Is it as sensitive as the other two?"

"Yes!"

"Okay, I know I'm a huge freak for this, but: Can you put it inside of my bellybutton?"

"If you make your true form have enough room in there, sure!"

"Oh, believe me, it's gonna be nice and roomy."

"No problem then. Be addicted to a thing? Anything not socially perceived as healthy, no morning jog or broccoli. Coffee, porn, desserts."

"Hmmm, those last two are tempting. How addicted is addicted?"

"Coffee is popular because many people are already almost that addicted. Withdrawal is not so symptoms, more dwelling on it in thoughts than headaching about it, but you can cope with it indulging once a day if you are disciplined and avoid triggers, maybe ten or twelve if not."

"...Ten or twelve? Okay, yeah, that's kind of concerning. Maybe I should pass on this one. How much extra power does it grant?"

"For an academic two points per. You will probably not have twelve cups of coffee unless you go to the coffee convention with coffee free samples and look at everything which is there, mind."

"...Okay, but how much is two points?"

"Not much. It would get you, say, the first two ranks in Hexes given your affinities as they stand."

"And what will those let me do?"

"Hexes is transmutation magic. There is a rank zero, minting mana into Kisses; at other ranks you gain more things you can turn into more other things with more expensive reagents, and more ranks get you more size range of creatures you can turn into other creatures. Rank three is what it takes to affect a normal sized grownup with that, and also when you get to furthermore animate objects to do dishes for you and suchlike."

"Eeeh, yeah, anything that modifies my mind makes me a bit uncomfortable anyway. I guess I'll pass on that. Any other recommendations?"

"...am I misunderstood? Hexes does not do that to you. Will do it if you turn someone into a toad, but you need simply not turn your own self into a toad."

"No, I meant the addiction thingy."

"Aha, yes. Shall I just skip ones that do mind things, or do you wish to hear them out?"

"Go ahead, we've got time Or, I do, at least, I don't know your schedule."

"No rushes here. One where animals hate you?"

"Definitely not. Next?"

"One where you must have a prop to do magic? Can be the one that comes free with rank zero witchery but if you are butterfingers no casting."

"If it comes free with rank zero Witchery, can't I just summon another one if I lose it? Or like, summon the same one back to me I guess? Is there a cooldown?"

"You can but at rank zero this takes ten minutes so it would be a dueling liability."

"What if I rank it up?"

"Rank three and you can resummon it in an eyeblink! But, this counts as magic. You will have a bootstrapping problem in an emergency still. I know someone who had a wand implanted in her arm."

"Wait so like, if I do lose my wand, how exactly do I get it back?"

"You borrow something, or go home and get something. Tarot deck or crystal ball or backup wand, whatever."

"Wait, does it have to be a specially enchanted tarot deck, or just a regular one from like Barnes and Noble or wherever?"

"You would have to prepare it by magic in advance. My shop being a shop is mostly decorative but I will sell you some things and lend you my wand long enough to get ahold of yours and enchant your backup props, if you want this one."

"Hmmm... How many points does this one get me?"

"Six!"

"Hm, given my understanding of how valuable points are, that's pretty tempting. I think I may have to take this one, though I'll probably regret it later, but whatever. Katie wanty pointies."

"Into the shopping basket! One where you close off a particular school of magic for always?"

"Hmm. Probably not, but maybe there's one that's particularly uninteresting to me?"

"You cannot do all the elementalisms anyway, as you are not a sorceress; you could pick which ones you will do and restrict others. There are ways to get affinities for more so they are not forever locked away, without the restriction, but they are quite very inconvenient."

"How inconvenient?"

"Cosmic pearls are rare jobbies that can one time each make a potion to glue on a new affinity. As a neutral you have affinity for no elementalisms at all, and nonsorceresses get only one non-affinity elementalism; the other six will be closed as soon as you take one until and unless you get an affinity for it. Nature affinity would be most efficient, gets you three in one go because of some interactions - Naturalism but also Earthmoving and Windkeeping. So in the most probable story of your life, you will get zero cosmic pearls, or just one, and you will pick up one and only one of fire, water, psionics, and metallurgy; you could pick which now, restrict the other three, pick up six points. Or perhaps you never want to do demon summoning or hate the idea of having a familiar or are bored to tears by the sound of divination. - not point efficient to restrict a magic that is good for academics, though you can."

"Will wind let me fly? Are there other ways to fly? Because unless it's the only way to fly, wind sounds pretty boring."

"Wind will let you fly, breathe in space, and do lightning! But there are other ways to fly, most prominently Witchery, lets you turn your wand into a broomstick."

"Oh shit never mind, lightning and breathing in space sound cool. Earth and Nature sound like the next most boring ones, do those actually do anything cool?"

"I like earth but it is in my affinity so I have learned to; it is mostly what it sounds like, more ranks means more rocks; except some are surprised it means they can hit concrete from a skyscraper and bounce. Naturalism is plants and animals and mushrooms and such, talk to animals, greenest of thumbs, genetically engineer your organisms, by rank three be immune to natural infections. Rank four awaken animals or make ents or whatever. I made my giant butterflies myself this way."

"And how many points will the complication get me?"

"Two points for restricted magic. Did you understand me for sure when I said that wind, earth, and nature are the three you can avail yourself of later all at once by adding one affinity? Fire psionics water and metallurgy you would have to spend a separate entire cosmic pearl to get, each, after your first which you can get completely out of affinity."

"Yeah, I think I'll pass then. Planning to be immortal so I'll have time to get all the pearls eventually."

"Neutrals are not by nature immortal but many magics can do that at rank five."

"See, that would make me reconsider taking Neutral, but it seems like I'll be able to hit rank five before my natural lifespan is up. Hopefully before I even get any grey hairs. Which ones?"

"If you include just non- or de-aging, all of Alchemy, Runes, Curses, Hexes, Familiarity, Necromancy, Aethernautics, and sortakinda Consortation."

"Do any of them have catches? I'm guessing Necromancy does. What do you mean by 'sortakinda Consortation'?"

"Can turn you into a demon, but that is not exactly the same thing as being an immortal neutral."

"Might be fun, though. Does Necromancy not turn you into anything else? I was assuming it was a lich or ghost or maybe vampire type situation."

"A lich, yes, but this is not exactly the same as being a new species, just hides your soul in a doodad."

"You still have, like, flesh, and body heat, and the ability to eat food, and genitals, and stuff?"

"Unless you or someone attacking you have made separate arrangements the soul doodad does not affect these. And you can heal from arrangements that do affect them."

"Huh! Convenient! I'll have to consider that! Presumably if someone steals the phylactery you're fucked though. Do the others have a catch like that?"

"Alchemy and hexes want ingredients, curse of immortality does not also curse you with any abilities to make whatever is failing at killing you stop doing that, but runes aethernautics and familiarity have no particular catch in the immortalizing department."

"Wait, what even is Aethernautics and how does it make you immortal?"

"Aethernautics is weird! It is Academic aligned so you will want at least one rank, that is so cheap it wraps around to giving you a point - same with the other Academic subjects, Portals Witchery Alchemy Runes - and it is about astronomy except when it is about pocket dimensions comma breaking and entering, or folding space, or breathing in vacuum which you thought sounded cool if I recall, or timefuckery, or gravity nonsense, or creating magic Superfund sites."

"Wait, time fuckery? Like time travel? Time travel exists?"

"Yes but not by way of aethernautics. Aethernautics at rank five does time loops local to a pocket dimension and grants immunity to any effects that are trying to pause time, it does not take you to tomorrow or yesterday."

"What does?"

"Aurai - a species you cannot be - get mana by screaming people into the past and harvesting the energy from the timeline fixing itself. If there is more I do not know about it.'

"Cannot be? Why not?"

"Mostly likely none of your ancestors were them."

"But one of them was an orc and a bunnygirl and a daeva and all these other things?"

"So it would seem! Well, maybe not a bunny in particular, sometimes exact animal resonance seems new in a family."

"Fascinating. Also wait hold on I should check on something. Breathing in vacuum isn't some trap where you just die of the temperature and radiation and such instead, is it?"

"Both aethernautics and windkeeping cover that at the relevant rankings."

"Do either give you the ability to actually get to other planets on a reasonable timeframe?"

"Windkeeping no, aethernautics not very but the space folding can be made to work this way with a telescope."

"How do people get to the moon, then?"

"Portals!"

"Which I also get a discount on for being an Academic, right, nice."

"That is right! Though you get double discount on Aethernautics and Runes."

"Anyways, weren't we supposed to be working out Complications?"

"Yes! Volunteer to be the next target for a witch hunter who keeps coming back like the bad penny?"

"Witch hunters are a thing?"

"Alas that yes."

"I take it they're from the Abrahamic sects that don't condone magic?"

"For some reason I have never asked one."

"How're they even a threat if they don't have magic and we do?"

"They have magic swag, and fancy gadgets, and also if you do not have a way to be immune to getting shot in the head when you are sleeping then you will not be immune to getting shot in the head when you are sleeping."

"So like... Yeah this one's probably a bad idea, right?"

"I have seen it took but do not take a lot of followup surveying about it."

"How many points?"

"Eight."

"Ugghhhhh I should really probably say no but eight points is tempting."

"It is your choice to make! Not completely impossible to put him down forever, and then, woo, one fewer witch hunter, so if you think you can take him this is nice for everyone."

"Wait, so there are a finite supply of witch hunters? One isn't, like, created when I pick the complication? If, in theory, the world were to run out, would it no longer be available?"

"Finite supply, awakenings do not make anybody study the blade, complication only available when blades are - not necessarily just if they are all dead but also if they are busy, you will keep yours off somebody else for however long."

"How much protection can I expect from my witch faction?"

"The Hespatians? Depends how much they like you. Lunabella would be a better bet this way, hole up in a safe Domain till you are big and strong and know which end of a wand is up."

"What sort of people do Hespatians like?"

"Depends on the cell, it is presumable."

"Hey hold on a second. Is there an afterlife?"

"Lots! Get good enough at necromancy and score a pocket dimension and you can have your own one. The ones that gods run are bigger and stabler but some ghosties swear by the bespoke."

"If there are lots, what determines which one I go to?"

"Lots of things. Does a god want you? Does someone in good with a god want you? Are you going quietly or fleeing for the hills? Did a reaper come tag you 'hey come get this one' any point in this process? Where'd you die? How'd you die? Where would you fit right in? The Hespatians headquarter in Hell, so there's that."

"Y'know what, screw it. Let's go for it."

"Eight points!" Boop. "One that makes you rub everybody the wrong way somehow? Will not offput people once they get to know you, but harder to convince them of this being worthwhile."

"Pass. I'm off-putting enough already."

"Have monsters be after you? You can go places that are less monstery and still take this but some very nice places are monstery."

"Hmmm. How many points?"

"For an academic six!"

"And monsters are like, not all normally hostile? Because the terminology kind of suggests they would be."

"Oh, they are, but sometimes they are asleep, or after somebody else, or do not happen to be in some place, and this will be less often with you if you take this."