She's leaving Tim Hortons with several cups of coffee in her hands, big black bags under her eyes, and blank expression on her face. She's not doing a great job at looking where she's going.
Vera's halfway through the door when she has to sidestep quickly. The coffee cups wobble dangerously in Cara's grip. "Whoa—" She reaches out instinctively to steady one of the cups, then takes a second look at Cara's face. Her hand hovers there for a moment before she pulls it back. "You heading back to campus?"
Vera releases her wrist and picks up the coffee cup from the ground. "Thirty-six hours. That tracks." She tilts her head, considering. "You said library. Is that where you were going before, or just what comes out when someone asks?" She starts walking in the direction of campus, slow enough that Cara can follow if she's inclined to. The morning air is crisp, and there aren't many people around yet.
Vera glances at the cups in Cara's hands, then at the sky. The sun's been up for at least an hour. "Study group that starts at seven in the morning. On a Friday." She takes a sip of the coffee she's holding—Cara's coffee—and grimaces slightly at how sweet it is. "When did your study group start, exactly? Wednesday night at two?"
Vera steps back, keeping the coffee just out of reach. "Which class?" She watches Cara's movements carefully—they're mechanical, predictable. "Because the only 8 AM classes today are in the engineering building, and that's the opposite direction." She takes another sip. "Besides, your study group must be incredibly patient if they've been waiting an hour for their coffee."
"CDRF Studies." Vera matches Cara's pace easily, still holding the coffee. "Interesting. And your professor's fine with you showing up to a grad seminar looking like—" She gestures vaguely at Cara's general dishevelment. "Never mind. Here's what I think happened. You've been awake since Wednesday, you're running on autopilot, and your body's doing whatever it thinks it's supposed to be doing while your brain checked out somewhere around hour twenty-four." She sidesteps a crack in the sidewalk that Cara walks right over. "Tell me, when's the last time you actually felt anything? Pain, hunger, anything at all?" She swivels to face her, and the heel of her steel-clad boot bears down on the top of Cara's foot.
Vera applies more pressure, shifting her weight forward. The steel heel digs in harder—enough that it should be making Cara at least wince, if not cry out. "That's what I thought." She pulls her foot back and circles around Cara, still holding the coffee. "Blue eyes getting bluer, no pain response, cognitive loops. You know what this looks like to me?" She stops directly in front of her, blocking the path to the library. "Either you're having the world's most boring psychotic break, or you're about three days into something much more interesting."
"A whole five hours of nothing before you stopped sleeping." Vera shifts her stance, heel still firmly planted. "Let me guess what happened next. You just kept going. Studying, maybe. Making notes that got progressively less coherent." She leans down slightly, voice dropping. "And now you're telling me you walked out of a coffee shop, headed to a study group that doesn't exist, for a class in the wrong building, and you can't even work out why you're stuck." She lifts her foot abruptly and gives Cara a sharp push backward with her free hand. "Sit down before you fall down."
Vera crouches down in front of her, setting the coffee cup aside. "That's the first accurate thing you've said all morning." She pulls off one of her gloves with her teeth, then reaches out and presses two fingers against Cara's neck, ostensibly checking her pulse again. The contact is brief, clinical, but there's something else there—a sensation like static electricity resolving into ground, or pressure equalizing between two spaces. It's like when she gets her teeth into a particularly crisp Gala and she can hear the crunch. She wants to do it again. She keeps her expression neutral, but her eyes narrow slightly. "Your body temperature's off too. When's the last time you ate something that wasn't chips?"
"Gold star for observation. Now tell me why you didn't say anything about it. Or pull your foot away. Or, I don't know, react like a normal person would when someone's grinding a heel into their foot." She reaches out, pressing two fingers against Cara's wrist again. She can feel it—that peculiar resonance that only comes from one esper touching another. It's... actually, really nice. Like, really nice. Maybe she'll keep her. "Three days into hell week and walking around like a zombie. You're lucky you ran into me and not someone who'd just call an ambulance."
Vera doesn't let go of her wrist. "Type with your other hand." She tightens her grip slightly, and the pleasant feeling intensifies—not painful, just... present. Insistent. "What, telling your study group you'll be late? Or are you finally googling 'what is hell week' like you should have done days ago?" She leans in closer, voice dropping. "Here's a fun fact: most awakening espers die if they're left alone. The lucky ones just end up brain-damaged. So whatever automated response you're about to send, maybe add 'also I'm having a medical emergency' to it."
"Good girl." Vera's smile is sharp. She plucks the phone from Cara's hand and glances at the screen, then pockets it. "Now stand up. We're going somewhere" with fewer witnesses "else". She pulls Cara to her feet by the wrist she's still holding, and the contact sends another wave of that pleasant tingling sensation up her arm like a nascent heart attack. "The athletics complex is mostly empty this time of morning. Perfect place to cool off." She starts walking, not bothering to check if her Eurydice is following—the grip on her wrist ensures she doesn't have much choice. "You're in luck. I can make it stop."
Vera yanks back on Cara's wrist, hard enough to arrest the fall but not quite hard enough to pull her upright. She lets her hang there for a moment, suspended at an awkward angle, before stepping forward and using her other hand to push her back to standing. "Careful. Can't have you cracking your skull before we get you somewhere safe." The athletics complex looms ahead, all glass and concrete in the morning light. She swipes her student ID at the side entrance. "Lucky for you, I have pool access."
The hallways echo with their footsteps—Vera's measured clicks and Cara's shuffling gait. The building smells like chlorine and industrial cleaner. She leads them past the main pool area, down a side corridor lined with team photos dating back decades. The women's swim team locker room door has a keypad lock; Vera punches in the code without hesitation.
"Empty until afternoon practice." She pushes Cara through the door ahead of her. The room is all white tile and metal lockers, benches running down the center. A doorway at the far end leads to the showers. Vera finally releases Cara's wrist and begins fiddling with a combination lock (§ 12.1-22-03), watching to see if the girl will stand there like furniture or actually move on her own.
Well, ok then. The locker swings open, revealing a spare swimsuit and towel. Vera pulls out both, then turns back to study her new acquisition. She walks a slow circle around Cara, noting the slack posture, the thousand-yard stare. "Strip." The word comes out casual, like she's asking about the weather.
She obediently removes all her clothes, pulling her dress and bra off over her head, and then shimmying out of her biker shorts. She makes no effort to hide her exposed body. (If Vera hadn't already noticed that that Cara is trans, well, she does now.)
She does her best to fit herself into the provided swimsuit, too.
Vera watches with clinical interest, making no comment. She waits until Cara's done struggling with the suit before stepping forward to adjust the straps properly. Her fingers are cold even through the gloves. "Turn around." She ties the back ties tighter than strictly necessary. "There. Now you look like a proper little synchronized swimmer." She heads for the door that leads to the pool deck. "Come along. The water's going to be freezing, but I don't think you'll mind."
The pool stretches out before them, Olympic-sized and mirror-still in the morning light. The air reeks of chlorine. Vera walks to the edge and dips a toe in, then glances back at Cara. "Jump in. Deep end." She gestures to the far side where the depth markers read 12 feet. "And try to touch the bottom when you get there."
Cara obediently walks over to the far end of the pool, jumps in, and starts trying to swim downward.
She doesn't react to the extreme temperature change at all, but she's also... clearly not a swimmer. Her technique is terrible, to the point where it's not super obvious if she'll reach the bottom of the pool before she starts actively drowning.
Vera watches for a few seconds, counting. The flailing is almost artistic in its inefficiency. She pulls off her boots and gloves in quick, practiced movements, stripping down to shorts and bandeau, then dives in with considerably more grace. The water is shockingly cold but she doesn't let it show on her face. She grabs Cara around the waist from behind and kicks them both to the surface, hauling the girl to the edge of the pool.
"Hands on the edge. Hold yourself up." She keeps one hand on Cara's shoulder, treading water. "Now tell me—can you feel my hand? Can you feel the cold?" The contact tingles, that same electric sensation amplified by the water and skin-to-skin contact.
Vera moves her hand from Cara's shoulder to the back of her neck, fingers splaying against wet skin. The sensation intensifies—like sparks traveling up her arm, settling warm in her chest. She could get used to this. "Your brain's shutting down everything it thinks is unnecessary. Pain, temperature, probably hunger too. Just keeping the basic motor functions running."
She uses her grip to turn Cara's head, examining her profile. "Here's what's going to happen. You're going to stay perfectly still while I figure out exactly how broken you are. Then we're going to see if I can fix it." Her thumb traces along Cara's jaw. "Or at least make it interesting."
She counts. Ten seconds. Twenty. The girl's not even twitching (§ 12.1-17-03). Vera slides her hand around to grip the back of Cara's neck more firmly and lifts, pulling her face clear of the water. "Breathe." She waits for the inevitable gasping inhale before continuing. "Good. You follow orders perfectly when your brain's this fried. That's fun." She shifts her grip, fingers threading through wet hair. "Say my name."
"Right. Well." She lets go of Cara's neck and leans back against the filter. She feels a twinge of obligation for the thing in front of her as the tingling sensation fades, leaving her feeling oddly bereft. A soft of conditioning for her. "You're manifesting. Congratulations, you're going to be an esper." She stands, water dripping from her legs onto the pool deck. "The good news is, I can fix this. The bad news is, you're going to be stuck with me for the next four days minimum." She pauses, and tilts her head. "Could be good news. It takes all kinds. You can say thank you, now."
The blood tastes like copper and chlorine and something else—that alluring tang that comes with compatibility. She stands, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. "Up. We're getting you cleaned up." She grabs Cara under the arms and hauls her to her feet, noting how the girl's weight shifts automatically to compensate. Still some reflexes in there, at least. "Your eyes are changing color, by the way. Turning this pretty aqua. Shame you can't appreciate it."
The weight against her shoulder sends another jolt of that electric compatibility through her system. She shifts her grip, one arm around Cara's waist now, and starts walking them toward the locker room. "You know what's interesting? You're still in there somewhere. Still processing, still following instructions." She pushes through the door with her hip. "Makes me wonder what else you'd do if I told you to."
The drinking fountain is right there by the entrance. She maneuvers them over to it, pressing the button with her free hand. "Drink. Real water this time."
"Stop." She pulls Cara back from the fountain by the shoulder. "Christ, you'd drown yourself on dry land if I told you to breathe underwater." She grabs a handful of paper towels from the dispenser and starts roughly patting the water off Cara's face and chest. "We need to get you somewhere I can actually work on this. My apartment's not far." She tosses the wet paper towels in the trash and starts steering Cara toward her locker again. She's already running through possibilities in her head. How much can she push her?
"Of course you don't." She pulls Cara back to her feet, keeping one hand on her arm. "Let's find out. Back to the pool." She starts walking them back out to the pool deck, her grip firm. "You're going to do exactly what I tell you, when I tell you. No more, no less. Understand?" The contact is making her skin hum, that pleasant electric sensation growing stronger. She wonders if Cara can feel it at all through the fog of her backlash, or if she's too far gone to register anything but direct commands.
She stops at the edge of the pool, positioning Cara right at the lip. The water reflects the morning light, deceptively peaceful. "Good. When I push you in, you're going to sink to the bottom and stay there. Hold your breath as long as you can. When you can't anymore, exhale completely and stay down. Don't come up until I pull you up." (§ 12.1-17-02.1) She shifts her grip to Cara's shoulders, feeling that electric thrill intensify. "Ready?"
She doesn't give her time to reconsider. One hard shove sends Cara tumbling backward into the pool with a splash. Vera watches as the girl sinks like a stone, those pretty blue eyes still open and staring up through the water. She starts counting again, pacing along the edge of the pool, tracking the shadow on the bottom.
Fifty-five seconds. Not bad for someone who doesn't know. The bubbles rise to the surface in a rush, and Vera watches them pop, one by one. She keeps counting. Sixty. Seventy. The shadow at the bottom hasn't moved.
At ninety seconds, she sets her feet and dives in. The water hits like ice against her skin, but she keeps her focus entirely on the figure below. Cara's eyes are still open, still that impossible blue, staring at nothing. her lips seal around the girl's, and she exhales into her lungs, hand caressing the turn of her jaw. It's thrilling. Vera wraps an arm around her waist and kicks hard for the surface.
They break the surface and Vera has to suppress a laugh. Of course she's not breathing. "Breathe," she commands, hauling them both to the edge. She keeps one arm wrapped around Cara's waist, the contact singing through her nerves. "In and out. Normal rhythm." She maneuvers them to the shallow end, where she can stand and still support Cara's weight. "Look at you. Perfect little doll. Do you even know what's happening to you?"
"Oh? Tell me what you think is happening." She shifts her grip, one hand splayed across Cara's stomach, the other still supporting her weight. The contact is intoxicating—she can feel the backlash draining away with every second of skin against skin, nails digging into soft midsection. "Be specific. Use your words." She leans in closer, breath warm against Cara's ear.
She thinks for a long time, and then says in her eerily flat voice: "I'm awakening as an esper. My backlash makes me... easy to boss around. It's doing something else to me, too, that I can't explain. You noticed something what's up with me at the coffee shop this morning, took a closer look, and made some incorrect conclusions about what was wrong with me but did correctly identify that I'm awakening as an esper and informed me. You're also an esper, we are compatible, and you've been guiding me. You've essentially kidnapped me; you destroyed my phone, and you've been - doing other things to me, too."
"Kidnapped is such an ugly word. I prefer 'rescued.'" She tightens her grip, pulling Cara flush against her in the water. "And you're welcome, by the way. Without me, you'd have wandered into traffic by Tuesday." She traces a finger along Cara's collarbone, considering. "The thing you can't explain—that would be the part where you're losing pieces of yourself. Bit by bit. Like watching paint dry in reverse." She smiles against Cara's ear. "Lucky for you, I can give you some of those pieces back. When you're ready."
"Oh, that's interesting." She runs a hand through Cara's wet hair, tugging slightly. "The pieces of you that are left don't want the rest back. Do you even remember what you're missing? Or is it just..." She waves her free hand vaguely. "Gone. Like it never existed in the first place." She starts walking them toward the edge of the pool, keeping Cara pressed close. "Come on. Out of the water. I want to see how far this goes."
"Memories, sure. But what about the rest?" She helps Cara out of the pool, then grabs a towel and starts drying her off with rough, efficient movements. "What do you want right now? Not what I tell you to want. What do you want?" She pauses, hands still on Cara's shoulders through the towel. "Can you even tell the difference anymore?"
"That's what I thought." She wraps the towel around Cara's shoulders, then starts walking her back toward the locker room. "You're hollowed out. Like a chocolate Easter bunny—looks fine from the outside, but..." She raps her knuckles gently against Cara's temple. "Nothing but air in there. Well, not nothing. You can still follow instructions. That's something." She pushes through the locker room door. "Sit on the bench. I'm getting dressed, and then we're leaving."
She really hopes that she's right about the situation that she's in. It would be, pretty bad, if she was wrong about how susceptible this one was. And probably a good idea to avoid too many witnesses. She can get the girl to aspirate in the privacy of her own single.
She's just gonna get a sundress that'll dry out fast on and get her inside as soon as posisble.
She slips an arm around Cara's waist to steady her, the contact sending that pleasant buzz through her nerves again, a mild vasovagal stim. "There we go. Nice and easy." The morning air is crisp against their damp skin as they exit the rec center. A few early joggers pass by, but no one gives them a second glance—just two girls heading home after a swim. She keeps her voice conversational. "You're lucky I found you first. Another hour and campus security would've hauled you to the med center. They'd have no idea what they'd gotten their hands on."
She's going to go in through the always-open fire door in the back to avoid interacting with any vigilant (ha) front desk denizens, if her new toy can make it up some stairs.
She doesn't, actually. She takes the stairs at her normal clip and watches with clinical interest as Cara struggles to keep up, breath coming in harsh gasps by the second landing. "Stop wheezing," she says mildly, not slowing down. "It's only three more flights." The fire door slams behind them with a metallic clang. She can feel Cara starting to stumble through their connected arms, but she just tightens her grip and keeps going. If the girl collapses, well—that could be interesting too. "Keep your feet under you. I'm not carrying you."
She yanks Cara's arm hard enough to pull her off the railing. "I didn't say stop. I said keep your feet under you." She keeps moving, dragging the girl along. "You can breathe and walk at the same time. Multi-tasking. Very advanced concept, I know." Another flight, another turn. She can feel Cara's pulse hammering through their connected arms, rabbit-quick and getting faster. "Two more floors. Don't pass out."
She catches Cara's arm before she can hit the stairs, yanking her upright with a sharp jerk. "No." The word comes out flat, annoyed. "I said don't pass out. That includes falling." She hauls Cara up the last flight, practically lifting her off her feet on the final steps. The fifth floor hallway stretches out before them, mercifully empty at this hour. She doesn't let go of Cara's arm as she fishes out her key card. "Room 517. Almost there. Try not to collapse in the hallway—I'd rather not explain you to the RA."
The lock beeps green. She shoulders the door open and pulls Cara inside, kicking it shut behind them. The room is sparse—single bed, desk covered in chemistry textbooks and molecular models, a small fridge humming in the corner. She maneuvers Cara to the bed and pushes her down onto it. "Sit. Stay." The contact as she lets go leaves her fingers tingling, that pleasant buzz already fading. She steps back, considering. "You're soaked. And bleeding." She grabs a towel from her closet and tosses it at Cara's face. "Dry yourself off while I figure out what to do with you."
She watches Cara's halfhearted attempts with the towel, then sighs. "Stand up. Arms out." She grabs the towel back and starts drying Cara off properly, rough and efficient. The contact sends that pleasant buzz through her again, stronger with the increased surface area. She can feel the backlash sloshing between them like water finding its level, her head buzzing. "Your knees are still bleeding. And you smell like chlorine."
Is she really going to put her in the shower after she just dried off. Probably not.
"Take it off and lay on the bed. It's probably better to do this somewhere other people won't see."
She watches Cara struggle with the knots, making no move to help. When the girl finally manages to get free and lies down, Vera moves to sit on the edge of the bed, running a finger along one of the raw scrapes on Cara's knee. The blood is already starting to clot. "You really did a number on yourself." She presses down slightly, watching fresh red well up. "This is going to sting."
She leans down and drags her tongue across the wound, tasting copper and chlorine and that electric compatibility. She looks up, studying Cara's face. "Better?"
"Nothing? Not even a twitch?" She shifts to straddle Cara's thighs, settling her weight down, dress spread around her like the petals of a lily. The skinship makes her heart sing. "You really are hollowed out." She traces a finger along Cara's collarbone, watching for any reaction. "Let's see what else you'll let me do."
She leans down, pressing her mouth to the curve of Cara's clavicle, feeling the pulse there against her lips. "Your heart's still racing. That's something, at least." She bites down, not hard enough to break skin, not on anything too vital, but enough to see a flush of red that she could have, if she tried just a little harder. "Still nothing? God, you're perfect like this."
She sits back slightly, studying Cara's vacant expression. The guiding is working—she can feel lanugo hair standing on end, that pleasant electric flow—but the girl underneath her might as well be a mannequin. "You know what? Let's make this more interesting." She shifts her weight, then leans down to whisper directly in Cara's ear. "When I kiss you, you're going to kiss back. Just mirror what I do. Nothing more, nothing less."
She presses her lips to Cara's, gentle at first, testing. The compatibility sings through the contact, stronger now with saliva in the mix. She deepens it slightly, one hand tangling in that blue hair, waiting to see if her new doll can follow even this simple instruction.
Perfect. She pulls back after a moment, watching Cara's mouth close in perfect synchrony with hers. Her head is pleasantly buzzing. "Good girl." She traces a thumb along Cara's lower lip. "Now open your mouth and stick out your tongue. Just a little."
She waits for Cara to comply, then presses her own tongue against it, not kissing, just contact. The compatibility practically sparkles at this direct exchange, and she has to suppress a shiver. "Hold still. Don't move until I tell you." She counts to five in her head, savoring the sensation, before pulling back. "Close your mouth. Swallow."
She is getting a little frustrated that she has to keep pulling away to direct the thing, though.
She can feel it too—that gradual equalization, like water finding its level between two vessels. Which means she needs to be careful. Too much guiding and Cara might start getting pieces of herself back, might start wanting things again. And where's the fun in that?
She climbs off Cara and stands, smoothing down her dress. "Sit up. Edge of the bed."
"And then what?" She circles around to stand behind Cara, running fingers through that blue hair, still damp with chlorine. "Walk me through it. When did you first notice something was wrong?" She leans down, breath warm against Cara's ear. "Be specific. I want details."
She's genuinely curious now—how long has this girl been wandering around campus in this state? Hours? Days? And nobody noticed, or nobody cared enough to do anything about it. Typical.
"Someone asked me to help them on a project. I worked with them on it until my alarm went off and told me to take my meds, which I did, and then my calendar told me to go to my study group, so I did. After spending 30 minutes there, people talked about getting coffee, and someone asked if someone could go pick up orders. I went to get the coffee. You found and kidnapped me."
"Asked. Told. Asked." She twists a strand of blue hair around her finger. "Not a single decision in there was yours, was it? Just following one instruction after another." She tugs sharply on the hair. "How long? When did you start just... obeying everything?"
She moves around to face Cara again, tilting the girl's chin up with one finger. "And your friends sent you for coffee while you were like this? Either they didn't notice or they didn't care. Which do you think is worse?"
"Thirteen hours." She lets out a low whistle. "And you've been wandering around campus all night like this. Following your little alarms and calendar notifications." She drops her hand from Cara's chin. "Did you sleep? Or did you just... sit somewhere until the next instruction came along?"
She walks to her desk, picking up a pen and twirling it between her fingers. "You know what's really funny? In all that time, I'm the only one who noticed. The only one who cared enough to do anything about it." She taps the pen against her lips. "Even if what I'm doing is arguably worse."
"Of course you didn't." She sets the pen down and returns to stand in front of Cara. "No one told you to, so why would you?" She reaches out and brushes a thumb under one of Cara's eyes, noting the shadows there. "You're exhausted. Starving. Completely hollowed out. And you'd keep going until you collapsed if I let you."
She drops her hand and steps back. "Well. That's a decision I get to make now, isn't it?" She moves to her mini-fridge and pulls out a bottle of water. "Here's what's going to happen. You're going to drink this. All of it. Then you're going to lie down and sleep for..." She checks her phone. "Four hours. When you wake up, we'll see how much of you is left."
She presses the bottle into Cara's hands. "And if you're very, very lucky, maybe I'll even let you have an opinion about what happens next."
She watches Cara settle onto the bed, then pulls her desk chair over to sit beside it. Four hours. She sets an alarm on her phone, then leans back to observe. She reaches out to brush a strand off Cara's forehead, letting her fingers linger.
In practice, it's easiest for her to steer when her companion is asleep.
She jerks her hand back as the smell hits her. "Oh, for fuck's sake." She stands abruptly, chair scraping against the floor. Of course. Of course the hollowed-out little puppet wouldn't think to mention needing the bathroom. Why would she? No one told her to.
She stares down at Cara's sleeping form, jaw clenched. Her sheets. Her mattress. She closes her eyes, counts to five, then opens them again. Fine. This is what she gets for not thinking through the logistics of keeping a human pet.
"Wake up." She shakes Cara's shoulder, not gently. "Get up. Now."
"Stand there." She points to a spot by the door, away from the mess. "Don't move." She strips the sheets off the bed with sharp, irritated movements, bundling them into a ball. The mattress underneath is soaked through. Of course it is.
She grabs her laundry basket and shoves the sheets in, then turns back to Cara. "You're going to the showers. Now." She grabs a clean towel from her closet and throws it at the girl, hard enough that she stumbles. "And next time you need to piss? You tell me. I don't care if I have to teach you to bark like a dog to get my attention."
"Down the hall. Third door on the left." She grabs Cara's wrist, squeezing hard enough to leave marks. "And if anyone asks what happened to you? You don't remember. You were sick. You're fine now." She releases her with a shove toward the door. "Go. Wash everything. Use soap. Don't come back until you're clean."
She needs to deal with this mattress. And figure out what the hell she's going to do with a broken toy that requires this much maintenance.
While Cara's gone, she strips the bed completely, bundling the mattress protector—thank god she had one—into the laundry basket with the sheets. The mattress itself is salvageable, barely. She flips it, sprays it down with the enzyme cleaner she keeps for lab accidents, and cracks the window to let it air out.
Then she sits at her desk and starts making a list. If she's keeping this thing, she needs to be smarter about it. Basic maintenance schedule: bathroom breaks, food, water. Like having a very stupid, very breakable pet. One that feels incredible to touch and that she can mold however she wants.
She checks the time. Thirty-two minutes. The door opens.
"Close the door." She stands and crosses to Cara, plucking the towel from her hands. "Your hair is still soaked." She starts toweling it roughly, not particularly careful about pulling. "Did you at least remember to use conditioner after that soap? No, of course you didn't. I didn't tell you to."
She drops the towel and runs her fingers through the damp tangles, feeling that pleasant buzz of compatibility again as she cups her face. "Sit on the floor. Right here." She points to a spot by her desk chair. "I need to figure out what to do with you, and I think better when I can touch you."
She sits in her desk chair and cards her fingers through Cara's damp hair, working out tangles with little care for whether it hurts. The contact hums between them as she brushes her scalp, that sweet compatibility singing through her nerves.
"Here's the problem," she says conversationally. "You're in hell week. That means you need constant guiding or you'll just... stay like this. Maybe get worse." She tugs a particularly stubborn knot free. "And I have classes. A life. Things that don't involve babysitting a broken doll."
She leans back, keeping one hand resting on Cara's head. "So. Options. I could dump you at the campus health center. They'd figure out what you are eventually. Ship you off to some facility." Her fingers tighten briefly. "Or I could keep you. But that means you need to be a lot less high-maintenance than you are right now."
"Good girl. Same thing for being hungry or thirsty. 'I need food,' 'I need water.' Practice those too." She threads her fingers deeper into Cara's hair, scratching lightly at her scalp. The contact feels so nice she has to suppress a shiver. "And when I'm not here, you stay in this room. You sit on the floor by the bed. You don't leave, you don't touch anything, you don't answer the door. Understood?"
She's already thinking ahead. She'll need to set up some kind of feeding schedule, maybe leave water bottles within reach. The bathroom situation is trickier. Maybe she can train her to hold it for longer periods. Or just invest in some rubber sheets.
"Oh." She blinks, then laughs—a sharp, delighted sound. "You can't tell when you need things. That's part of it, isn't it? No access to your own wants." She cups Cara's face between her hands, tilting it up to study her more closely. "You literally don't know you need to piss until it's already happening."
She releases her and sits back, tapping a finger against her lips. "Alright. New plan. Every two hours, you use the bathroom whether you think you need to or not. Every four hours, you drink water. Every six, you eat something." She pauses. "Can you keep track of time? Or is that gone too?"
"Of course you're vegetarian with your blue hair and pronouns." She stands, grabbing her keys from the desk. "Fine. I have leftover pad thai in the fridge. That'll have to do." She pauses at the door, looking back at Cara sitting obediently on the floor. "Actually, no. Stand up. Go to the bathroom first. Third door on the left, remember? Use it, wash your hands, then come straight back here and sit in exactly the same spot."
She watches Cara for a moment longer, then adds, "And don't talk to anyone in the hall. If someone talks to you, you ignore them. Understood?"
She watches Cara leave, then heads to the communal kitchen. The pad thai is exactly where she left it, still in its takeout container. She dumps it onto a plate and throws it in the microwave, drumming her fingers on the counter while it heats. Three minutes. Four, to be safe.
She grabs a fork and heads back to her room, setting the plate on her desk. She glances at the door, then sits back down in her chair to wait.
She picks up the plate and holds it out. "Eat. Take small bites. Chew completely before swallowing." She watches for a moment, then adds, "Use the fork."
While Cara follows the instructions, she reaches over to roll up the damp sleeves, fingers lingering against the skin of her wrists. The contact sends that pleasant hum through her nerves again. She keeps one hand there, ostensibly to keep the sleeve from falling back down.
The dorm room settles into stillness around Cara's motionless form. Dust motes drift through the morning light streaming from the window, their lazy spiral dance the only movement in the space. The radiator beneath the sill clicks intermittently, expanding and contracting with barely audible metallic pings that punctuate the silence at irregular intervals.
Vera's bed is unmade, comforter twisted into valleys and peaks that cast small shadows across the mattress. A chemistry textbook lies open on her desk, pages slightly bent where she'd been leaning over it earlier, the white paper yellowed at the edges under the harsh fluorescent desk lamp she'd forgotten to turn off. The lamp hums with a frequency just below conscious hearing, a whisper from atc crawling into her ears.
On the windowsill, a dying spider plant droops brown-tipped leaves toward the floor. Its soil has pulled away from the edges of the pot, creating a narrow moat of empty space around the compacted earth. Water stains on the wood beneath suggest this neglect is habitual.
The institutional carpet shows traffic patterns worn into its beige fibers. There are threadbare paths between bed and door, bed and desk, door and bathroom. Small debris has accumulated in the less-traveled corners: a hair tie, a pen cap, several dust bunnies that shift slightly each time the heating system cycles on.
The clock's second hand moves with mechanical precision. The minute hand lurches forward in barely perceptible increments. The hour hand might as well be stationary.
"...and so we see that the nucleophile attacks the electrophilic carbon, displacing the leaving group in a concerted mechanism..."
Someone's stomach growls audibly. A phone buzzes on silent mode, its vibration carrying through the wooden desk surface. Outside, a maintenance vehicle beeps as it backs up, the sound filtering through sealed windows designed to keep the world at bay.
The clock on the wall ticks steadily toward the end of the period.
Cara would be getting sore from sitting in one place without moving this long. Her hair is drying out, but she should really change. There are clumped strands of pink fiber clinging to the damp creases and folds of her legs and belly, under her arms and in her elbows. Her eyes and nose are irritated - there's some kind of chemical offgassing from the mattress. The sun is very bright.
"The stereochemistry here is particularly important to understand. Note how the configuration inverts completely..." A student in the third row clicks their pen repeatedly, fascinated by the catch of the latching mechanism.
Click, click, pause, click, click, pause
-until someone behind them clears their throat pointedly. The clicking stops. Papers rustle as notebooks close and laptops hibernate. The heating system cycles on with a mechanical wheeze.
"Of course you didn't!"
She giggles and crosses to Cara in two quick steps.
"Stand up."
She doesn't wait for compliance, before hooking a finger under Cara's chin, tilting her face up. The contact sends that familiar pleasant buzz through her nerves. "Do you want to hear about Nucleophilic Substitution?" The capital letters are audible. The transom creaks and the door closes.
"Well, it's when molecules can't get close enough to react because they're too bulky." She presses the toe of her boot against Cara's cheek, not hard enough to hurt, just enough to squish the skin. "Kind of like how you can't get your shit together enough to stand up properly."
She shifts her weight, considering. "You know what? I changed my mind. Lick it." She taps the leather against Cara's lips. "The boot."
She pulls the covers up to Cara's chin and watches her for a moment. The girl's breathing evens out immediately, mechanical as a metronome. Her face goes slack in a way that normal sleep doesn't quite manage.
Vera settles at her desk with the chem textbook, but her attention keeps drifting. She drums her fingers against the wood, considering. She's already feeling pretty qwoppy about the whole thing, but at this point, what is she going to do about it?
It's a stormy January afternoon, and though her lord is well-protected in a fine winter outfit, Cara's simple maidsgarb offers her scant protection from the harsh winds.
Still, she was ordered to follow, and follow she does, down the poorly-trodden path towards the center of the woods. (She does not shiver. If Lord Vera looks back, and sees her shivering, she will surely be punished. She will endure.)
"Stop", says her lord, and Cara stops, at the near bank of the green river. (She has to try harder not to shiver, here, but surely they will not remain here for too long - Lord Vera is a busy woman, after all.)
"Remove your clothes", her lord orders, and when Cara freezes in shock, she is slapped for her impudence. "Now."
She stumbles at the force of the blow. She knows better than to take time to recover - that was a warning. Her next punishment will be much worse.
She strips, quietly, efficiently, the tears running down her face masked perfectly by the rain drenching her body. She does not let herself shiver, though she feels the cold seeping into her bones, and she is frightened. She places her clothes gently on the ground, once she has them removed. They aren't her property to discard carelessly, after all.
Her lord looks her up and down, smirking. "Good. Now. Climb this tree." She points to a pine tree with a trunk reaching out perilously over the river.
Cara climbs. The bark is rough against her bare skin, and the freezing rain makes for slow and painful going. She only makes it ten feet out from the shore before she hears her lord shout "Stop!" in that loud, commanding voice that brokers no rejection or negotiation.
"Hang from the branch", her lord says, and Cara knows that this time, she is being disposed of. Still - she obeys. What else can she do? She drops to her knees, grabbing the branch with both arms, and then, still clinging onto it tightly, slides her legs off.
Her lord doesn't give her any more orders, just watches and waits.
It's so cold. She's so scared. She lets herself shiver, now, and lets out a sob, too.
Eventually, her arms are shaking too much to hold on, and a gust of wind sends her tumbling into the freezing water below.
She flips a page in her textbook, the sound sharp in the quiet room. The girl's breathing has taken on an odd quality - not quite the rhythm of normal REM sleep, something else entirely. She glances over, notes the way Cara's fingers twitch against the sheets.
The equations on the page blur together. She pushes back from the desk, chair legs scraping against linoleum, and pads over to the bed. Reaches out, then stops, hand hovering an inch from Cara's shoulder. The girl's face is slack, but there's movement behind her eyelids, rapid and frantic.
What should she do next?
- Wake her up and guide her. You can still fix this.
- Maybe let her dream a little longer?
- Bathroom, now.
Conveniently, the body of an awakening esper heals quickly - a side effect of the same arcane system that gives espers symmetrical, well-muscled, proportioned-to-their-taste bodies, and gives them the eye and hair colors they want the most.
(Of course, that's a slow process, taking place over the course of a week. For now, it is easy to leave marks on Cara - she just lets it happen.)
She settles back on her heels, considering. The girl's eyes have that glassy quality again, pupils dilated in the dim light from the desk lamp. She pulls down the blinds and reaches over to click it off, leaving them in darkness broken only by the hallway light seeping under the door.
"You know what? Let's try something different." She stands, padding over to her desk drawer. The rustle of plastic. A lighter's click.
She should probably be tracking her down. Making sure she hasn't collapsed in a stairwell somewhere. But the dorm room is quiet, and her textbook is open on the desk, and there's a part of her that wants to see how long the girl will keep following that last instruction.
She checks the time on her phone. Flips to the next page. The chemical structures blur together.
She closes her textbook with a sigh. The voices in the hallway are getting louder—concerned, questioning. She slips her feet back into her boots and heads for the door.
The hallway is lit by harsh fluorescents. There's a small cluster of people around a figure slumped against the wall near the communal bathroom. Of course.
"She's my"
- "My roommate" - Simple. Clean. No one questions why I know where she is at all hours or why I'm the one handling her... episodes. Plus it's technically true, which makes the lie easier to maintain.
- "She's my responsibility" - Vague enough to shut down follow-up questions, but heavy enough that people don't push. Implies authority without having to explain where it comes from. Perfect for when someone's being nosy.
- "My study partner" - Academic, boring, explains the time we spend together. If anyone sees her coming and going from my room at weird hours, well, we're cramming for exams. College students do stupid things for their grades.
- "She's mine" - Honest. Direct. Let them wonder what exactly that means. It could be fun to watch people try to figure out if we're dating or if it's something else entirely. The ambiguity is delicious.
- "My pet project" - Technically accurate - I am studying her responses, aren't I? Sounds altruistic to anyone listening, like I'm tutoring some struggling freshman. But we both know what kind of project she really is.
- "My sister" - Family explains everything and nothing. Why I'm protective, why I know her so well, why I'm the emergency contact. People don't question family dynamics too closely - every family has their weird shit. This causes more trouble than it's worth if she sticks around - don't say it.
She steps forward, close enough that Cara would feel her breath if she weren't holding it. Close enough to see the flutter of pulse at her throat. She leans in and presses her mouth against Cara's, releasing the liquid in a slow trickle.
Her hand comes up to grip Cara's jaw, keeping her in place.
She studies those empty eyes for a long moment.
"Chemists call it diethyl ether, as if naming it could tame it. As if syllables could contain what burns like winter lightning on the tongue. I know its history: the sweet sleep it once brought to surgical tables, the gentle drift into nothingness before they found safer ways to steal consciousness. Now it lives in laboratories, patient in its glass prisons, waiting. A few drops would kiss like fire. A sip would pull you under—not forever, just long enough. Just enough to float away from this particular moment, this particular choice, this particular weight of being a Person.
It promises temporary erasure without permanent consequence. A chemical vacation. The burn would fade, the dizziness would pass, but for those precious minutes you could be anywhere else, anyone else.
Even the bottle feels significant in my palm - cool glass holding something that could remake the next hour of a life. Not death, just... distance. A chemical intermission.
Sweet ether. Honest ether. It won't lie to me about what it is or what it will do. Unlike everything else, it keeps its promises: burn, float, return. Simple as breathing. Simpler than breathing.
Just this once, to see what temporary feels like."
She drops her hand. "Sit back down. Cross your legs."
She watches Cara's unsteady descent to the bed, the way her body lists slightly to one side before correcting. The ether's working exactly as advertised - that beautiful chemical distance already creeping in at the edges.
"Look at me." She waits for those glassy eyes to find hers. "You're going to stay right there until I tell you otherwise. Hands on your knees. Back straight."
She crosses to her desk, considering.
She pulls out her phone and sets a timer. Twenty minutes. The ether won't last much longer than that, not at that dose. She sets the phone on the desk where she can see it, then moves to stand behind Cara.
"Count backwards from one hundred. Out loud. Slowly." Her fingers brush the nape of Cara's neck, just enough contact to keep the guiding flowing. "If you lose track, start over."
She circles around to face Cara, watching her struggle with the simple task. Those stretched-out numbers, the way her mouth can't quite form the shapes right anymore. Perfect.
"Start over." She keeps her voice level, clinical. "From one hundred. And if you slur again, start over."
The timer shows seventeen minutes left. Plenty of time.
She lets out a soft laugh. "No? That's alright." Her thumb strokes along Cara's jaw, maintaining that gentle contact. "I'm the one taking care of you right now. That's all you need to know."
She glances at the timer. Eight minutes. The ether should be starting its slow fade soon.
"One more question, and then we'll be done with this game. Are you feeling scared?"
"No?" Her thumb traces along Cara's jawline, considering. "That's alright. I'm Vera. Your sister, remember?"
She lets that sink in for a moment, watching those unfocused eyes. The ether's doing its job beautifully - that perfect chemical fog making everything negotiable.
"Say it. Say 'Vera is my sister.'"