He wakes up with a rasping gasp and immediately sits up and starts coughing.
What... the fuck?
Yep, you totally would! Uhh okay I'm explaining everything out of order because I almost died just five minutes ago. Important context: I just time travelled from the future, a future in which you were dead and I was about to be. And I thought by now you'd be a magical boy already but apparently it was meant to happen over the next two weeks or something.
—oh, my name is Iwasaki Yutaka, I'm a new transfer student, I was going to meet you today. Nice to meet you.
Oh, he also digs his magical boy outfit so much. White tights with silver streaks down the sides going into boots; this cool weird-looking robe thing that's also tight on the torso but flares out at the sleeves, with the sides of the stomach area missing and the coattails starting above his navel so his side abs and navel are exposed, also in white-and-silver plus a clockwork clock design on the back (which he can see on his bathroom mirror); white gloves with a diamond-shaped silver gem on the back of his left hand; and a shield thingy attached to his left forearm, also with a clockwork design.
It's so gay he loves it.
Um, so, the way you become a magical boy is that you tell Kyūbey about a wish, it has to be something you desire with all your heart, and then he grants your wish in exchange for turning you into a magical boy. There's, like, a lot of caveats, you gotta fight evil monsters called 'witches', and we died to a huge one that was big and strong enough to destroy the whole city. I spent weeks dithering about my wish and when I was about to die I wished I could go back, and so now I'm back. I don't know if I can do any more time travelling than that, though, but my magical boy outfit has some clock themes so maybe I can?
Iiiiin about a month. There's this really weird unseasonal typhoon-like thing in three weeks which gets worse over the following days and then, Witch Godzilla. But we're gonna stop it this time.
He can fix EVERYTHING. He's going to do everything right! From the start!
So, like, I don't know exactly when it appears out in the ocean but the rains start three Saturdays from now, and then the big fight against the witch is two Mondays after that. I don't know if we can evacuate, by the time people notice how bad it's getting the streets are getting flooded and it's really bad. Since the weather forecast people didn't see it coming there isn't a lot of advance warning, and I don't know if people would believe us. And also witches feed on slash cause despair so if we evacuate everyone it might go somewhere else instead?
But we should try anyway.
—oh! I should tell you more about the caveats though. It fixes your dyspraxia, but that's because you become a magical rock that remotely controls your body rather than residing in your body per se, but also it doesn't feel any different from being in your body, except if you, like, lose your body somehow you can make a new one. You need to be within one hundred meters of the soul gem—I mean, I guess since you're the soul gem you need to be within one hundred meters of your body?—or you can't control it anymore.
Its normal form is egg-shaped but you can turn it into jewellery somehow—I haven't tried it yet because I've been a magical boy for like ten minutes and I just did my transformation sequence into my magical boy costume so now the gem is part of it? Oh also you can only use your magic when you're in the magical boy costume but— Ugh he really should think before he speaks, he always gets ahead of himself and says everything wrong and then has to start over—
Mankind was not meant to wield such power. Yutaka was not meant to wield such power. He's going to anyway but he wasn't meant to.
Not directly but there are still a few aspects of it that I should cover and you should make sure you know what you want to wish for, with all your heart. You'll be fine with all of the caveats, empirically, especially since you were the one who told me about most of them in the first place, but, are you going to school or, do you want to hang out somewhere so we can talk about all of it without getting distracted?
I'm—honestly not sure, I don't have it written down or super organised in my head or anything. But a lot of it will probably need, like, thought? Like for instance, one thing that I think is pretty important is that once you're a magical boy your very existence is magical and you consume magical energy, and the only way to replenish it is to defeat a witch and use the "seed" it drops, and that seems pretty, uh, it seems like it and things like it might be things you'll want to think about? You thought it was really cool to be a magical superhero the first time around, but you know.
Okay, time to go roof hop to school. ...though he will take the lift to the ground floor, first, because he does not know if the roof hopping is rated for jumping off the penthouse window.
Can I listen in? I'm sure you'll ask questions I didn't think of that you didn't tell me about the first time around, and maybe I'll remember some things that you didn't think of, too? Who is he kidding, Perfect Swan Masaharu-sama wouldn't benefit from his presence, but he's curious, okay?
...oh. Was his wish... to end a whole disease?
It didn't even occur to Yutaka, not until the very end, to wish for something for other people, and even when he did it the most worked up he could get was about Haru personally. And yet Haru can just—feel so strongly for other people that he could wish to end a disease?
This guy really, really is better than Yutaka along every single dimension. Like it's not even embarrassing at this point it's just depressing.
—I think I did see something online about malaria inexplicably being eradicated the first time around? Maybe that was you?
You will be able to transform and while transformed use magic! You will be able to summon a magical weapon, and use your soul gem to dowse for witches to find them even when they are hiding inside barriers. When you kill the witch in the center of its labyrinth after fighting through its familiars, it may leave a grief seed, which you can use to recharge your magic.
And Yutaka already mentioned that just existing consumed magic, so that's one important caveat out of the way. The familiars that bud off witches can grow into full witches if they're left unattended for too long and eat enough people. Before they do that, they're still dangerous but don't drop grief seeds. Which means you need to budget your magic not just for taking down witches but also their familiars. There, that was a smart thing to contribute to the conversation, even though Haru would've probably thought about it in ten seconds.
Magic bow and arrow. The arrows and the string are made of energy and you can also unspool the string for infinite magically strong string. When you saved me from a witch once you tied me to a post so I wouldn't succeed at killing myself, which is what it had been trying to make me do.
Yutaka doesn't like how this went. At all.
He holds his hand out, palm up, so that the ring becomes his gem again, and, will he have to let go of Haru to transform, seems like he can just skip the transformation sequence actually, here he goes he's in costume again. So now he can rewind to...
Yutaka hops off the roof somewhere out of sight, untransforms, then jogs over to Haru in civvies. People are a lot less curious than you think. I guess maybe Watanabe-san might be curious, if she saw. Maybe I just happened to see you across the parking lot and wanted to be a gentleman about it? Which isn't, you know, false. He offers Haru his arm.
"She does. Tomorrow you fell down the stairs—the Japanese language is not equipped to handle time travel—anyway, tomorrow you were going to fall down the stairs, and you were gone a week, and then next week you were super cheerful, and I was, like, certain you had acquired a boyfriend, somehow. So I—later on I kind of, ah, you know. Wanted to know. But I was embarrassed to ask you. So I asked her. And she said you hadn't told her anything about it and she'd have expected you to. She actually suggested I speak to Ren about it but that would have been even more embarrassing. I just, you know, eventually gathered enough courage to ask you out anyway." He's looking resolutely away, because he needs to make sure to pay attention to the ground so that he doesn't trip and fall. Nevermind his normal reflexes or his renewed magical boy body. Mmhm mmhm.
Could I hide a sword in my magical boy outfit? Like, untransform while holding it so it goes wherever it is that the costume goes when I'm not wearing it? —wait, hold on, where does stuff go when I'm not wearing it? Like both magical and mundane.
Yutaka's kind of thrown by how easily he's taking to playing this character of a kind of dumb boy with a crush. Like, he's usually a lot more confident and suave, and he guesses he's not not confident, here, he's been such a gentleman, but still. Maybe his subconscious is learning some wrong lessons here from seeing Haru be all happy near him while he's playing this character, even though Haru's clearly happy about the magic not him.
Awwww mannnn stop that right this instant, you fool.
...but he'll let his face show a moment of disappointment in Haru's view right before he "manages to school it". That's good, yeah.
So there isn't, like, a bag of holding with infinite storage anywhere or anything we can make use of?
Seems like Haru isn't being affected, like, at all by Yutaka's act, though, which sucks because he doesn't know what other act to use. He guesses he'll be able to figure it out. "Not a slut" seems to be part of it, but that's gonna be not that hard, actually, he's still kind of shaken by the Kobayashi twins and it's made him a bit wary of casual sex. Maybe Ueda Masashi from the baseball team and maybe this time he'll manage to get in Tarō-kun's pants but his heart isn't into it.
...though in retrospect it might be because subjectively he almost died, uh, less than an hour ago? That could have something to do with it. And also with how clingy he is around Haru. Because, uh. Yeah Haru kind of died an hour ago, too. And so did Yamanaka.
Uh. Uh. Uh. He'll. Stop thinking about that, actually? He's gonna stop it and do it right this time and he doesn't need to focus on how he almost died because he didn't die. And it'll be fine. It'll be fine.
Yutaka's already watched all of these classes, though, so it feels pointless to pay any attention. What he does instead is research of his own, and at lunch he sends Haru a collection of links about tuberculosis, plus a gift epub of John Green's "Everything Is Tuberculosis" as well as a summary review of it he found on a blog.
Yeah. There was also GiveWell's recommendation list, which is, you know, focused on tractable problems, so maybe not the ones that'd benefit most from magical intervention, but malaria's on there, so. He's banking on Haru already knowing about GiveWell but if he doesn't Yutaka can be the cool senpai who will tell Haru about it even though he only just heard of it!
Is Yutaka going to join the school paper this time? It'll feel kind of boring to do the same things again, but maybe that means he could just half-ass is and have more time to himself?
But, hmmmmmm. He... could also join the translation club instead. That way they could spend more time together.
Yeah, he thinks he might do that, actually? Yeah. Yeah, okay.
"Fair enough." What's Eve put out recently, oh Sayonara End Roll is good and relatable.
...
Look, shut up.
Yeah that's valid. Also Eve puts out official English translations of his songs so Yutaka should not look at those while translating lest he bias himself but at least then he has the official answer at the end and he can ask the better English speakers in the room why he chose whatever he did instead of what Yutaka did.
Without Yutaka? What is wrong with him today. Is he feeling lonely because of the death and feeling like he needs to make sure he's still alive and this isn't all a dream and the world is solid and not going to turn to water under his feet?
...he needs to learn to stop having thoughts.
Shit. Why would—his mother works at this school. It was probably Ren's. Ughhh if he makes the wrong guess here he's gonna have to rewind again and he doesn't wanna, stuff is going so well!
I meant your mother's, he "clarifies". I guess you—wouldn't have had time to tell her about it, right, because I just told you earlier today and you don't even have a way to demonstrate like last time yet.
Ren drives. It's not very far, but it's enough that Haru would probably have fallen over three or four times in the course of taking two hours to walk that far, in the winter weather. She parks in the apartment building's garage and there's an elevator ride up to their little Tokyo shoebox apartment.
Eventually Haru is able to get Kyubey to put low-granularity numbers on things, and he disappears into his room for twenty minutes and comes out with a number that is one higher than it was before for dementia and the flu but still not as high as the one he gets for malaria, and he throws up his hands in frustration.
Oh okay that worked. Cool. Noted.
Also oh he hasn't hugged another human being in a while, huh. Even the last couple of times he had sex, he snuggled a bit but didn't really hug so much. He's having some complicated feelings about it, which he should shove in a box and ignore.
Yutaka has been deep in the Wikipedia mines and he read a few too many horror stories about smallpox while getting distracted from his homework this morning and he had a very very vivid image of something quite horrifying. "Why do we still even have that in a lab," he mumbles to himself.
Yutaka thinks about it for a few seconds then shakes his head. "It's not coming to me." He pushes himself to his feet and detaches the shield from its strap. It's more like a buckler, really. "This is really heavy and—thick, though?" He flips it over to show how it's kind of domelike in a way that suggests an internal mechanism. He brings it close to his ear and shakes. "There's something inside..."
He pulls his arm back out, checks that it's undamaged, then taps the other side of the shield again. "Still feels like there must be something else inside. If I just try doing things should I be able to figure them out? Like for any kinds of personal powers and stuff."
"Oh good thinking. Okay I'm gonna go... uh... oh I know, I'm gonna go out and roofhop in one direction for thirty seconds then try to go back in time and drop down to the street level and come back—no, and keep running in the same direction for thirty seconds, and then double back. So I should be back in a minute and a half if I succeed?"
Hop hop hop wheeeeeee roof hopping is so much funnnnnn! Honestly he doesn't know why he was so lukewarm on the idea before, being a magical boy is turning out great for him. He counts up to thirty, then he tries to do—some kind of motion in his mind, it actually feels really weird how he can tell there's a thing he can do that's different than the rewind thing, and if he tries that—
Everything and everyone is frozen in time. It looks kind of how one would expect it to, if this were an anime: drops of water floating midair, people and things in the middle of movement, unable to continue their trajectory. What's weirder, though, is that the world looks... bluer? In whatever direction he walks in, and redder in whatever direction he walks away from. It's subtle, but it's there.
Is that a physics thing? Yutaka thinks that might be a physics thing.
Wicked.
Now if this were an anime, he'd either be completely unable to affect anything, or stuff he touches would start moving with him. Which one will it be? He'll walk until he finds a pebble or something and try to pick it up.
He feels like that's probably going to be useful for combat somehow but he's not sure how. Or, hm, well, he supposes that'd make using guns a lot easier, actually? If he can shoot a bullet and it doesn't get stuck in the gun's barrel and actually goes a way out. Yeah, this is wicked, he digs it.
Yutaka's gonna walk back to Haru's place, then—wait. Actually. He's been doing a lot of magic, today. How's his gem doing?
—oh, the fuck, does it only cost magic once he's back in real time? Does it cost more magic the longer he's been paused? He's not sure how he'd test that, the change is so minor.
Well, whatever. He'll jump up and knock on the window when he does, since he shut it behind himself as he was leaving.
Oh no he's so cute Yutaka wants to kiss him.
All in due time.
...he doesn't want to let go of Haru's hand now to test what happens, but he will stop being such a fucking simp and do it anyway. "I'll let go of your hand now to see if you stay with me or get frozen, okay?"
This guy and his complicated words.
...
Why did he find it endearing this time. Yutaka needs to stop simping so much, it's unbecoming. He has had this exact thought like twelve times over the past hour, it's a problem.
"Where would I even find one of those," he says, mostly to himself, Googling it.
"Well, my gem still looks pretty alright," he says, peering at it. "So it's not too pressing yet..." Also he's feeling pretty reluctant for some reason. Well, he guesses it stands to reason that he would, actually? He's never gotten into a fight with a regular human, he has zero fighting instincts or practice.
"—oh, yeah, that'd probably be useful." Why didn't he think of that? That's such an obvious idea. He might be stupid. He briefly considers rewinding and redoing the past three minutes or so of conversation but he's not sure Haru wouldn't notice the darkening of his gem—it's a very short amount of time, but they are all kind of paying attention right now—and he doesn't want to risk it, it'd mean he'd need to go back even further to fix it. "Could you do that, Kyūbey?"