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For a bag of guineas or a piece of eight
A ratling and a reluctant sailor
Permalink Mark Unread

Cheliax, like every major nation on the Inner Sea, has an extensive number of merchants ship, fishing ships, and sailors to operate them.  Unlike many other nations though, Cheliax has extensive measures to stop potential defectors.  Every ship's captain and ship's wizard is subject to regular detect thoughts.  Every ship above a certain size is required to carry a cleric of Asmodeus, who in addition to providing a supply of drinking water and healing also serves to keep an eye out for illegal activity.  Any incident of stowaways are dealt with harshly and any captain, ship's wizard, or ship's cleric abetting efforts to smuggle a person are put to death.  The crews themselves are subject to detailed recording of all their members including a listing of names, locations of origin, and family members (to suffer the consequences should any sailor happen to wander off in a foreign port).

Permalink Mark Unread

Of course, any such system would have cracks.  The Chelish government squeezes as hard as it can, but in some ways there effort make some cracks wider.

The obvious temptation to the Chelish government, once such a surveillance system was in place, is to use it not only for major crimes like smuggling persons, but also for minor crimes, like contraband goods.  This creates lucrative and lesser opportunities for rule bending.

A posting on a ship would be even more ill-regarded than a small village posting, except for the fact that a savvy cleric can bring in quite a bit of money knowing just when to look the other way, so the clerics most eager to apply for and stay on such ships are often some of the most corruptible.

The Chelish government did manage to impose mandatory mind reading on the captains (although even this much was a stretch), but there are too many first mates and men closely trusted by their captain to mind read them all.

Actually verifying the lists of names and family members is too much of an effort for anything but the most sparse spot checks.

And considering how hard the government comes down for even some novice seaman wandering off in a foreign port, everyone knew it was best if they "actually" died to a monster encounter or storm.

Permalink Mark Unread

So all of this is to preface how we have come to the current situation.  A sailor, by the name of Marit, who was unofficially, apparently, actually a laundry wizard.  A detect magic would suggest he lacked he even the spare spells for an occasional endure elements, but somehow, occassionally damaged items brought to his room that were a bit too big for a mending left repaired.  When the first mate needed to go get a spare scroll to get a casting of tongues (for some questionably legal chance trade with Merfolk), that first mate somehow found himself going to the room of this sailor instead of going for the lockbox with the scrolls.

If you asked the captain, even under detect thoughts, he would be quite sure this sailor wasn't higher than first circle, well make whole is second circle, not higher than second circle.  (If you asked a few months later he would be much surer that this sailor wasn't higher than 1st circle, any apparent make whole's somehow forgotten).

If you asked the ship's cleric or the ship's official wizard, they would be much more certain this sailor was just a washout laundry wizard, basically doing the job of an ordinary sailor and not really a wizard, so not really a violation of the rules, and someone of their station shouldn't have to labor over dirty clothes or damaged trinkets.  They would have a few dollars to help you see it this way, if there was any doubt.

If you asked the ship's (less trusted) crew, they might repeat rumors about a noble's idiot sorcerer son who needed some experience in an out of the way location.  They weren't to mess with him, or comment too hard on how his shifts were shorter.

If you ask the ship's first mate... well somehow the official first mate and the man the captain actually trusted (and paid the best, taking into account illicit money) were not the same person.

Permalink Mark Unread

So if you were somehow able to sneak around and spy on the crew of the Rose of Erebus, you might notice a laundry wizard with a spell scaffold of a third circle wizard, tweaking and tinkering as he tried to improve his time taking it up and down.

Permalink Mark Unread

A young ratling, a little less than two years of age, who has been called many things but has no name as such, is also a traveler aboard this ship, unknown to its crew. Living in Ostenso, the city of his birth, was a frustrating experience for a variety of reasons. Having eavesdropped on enough conversations to learn that (1) Ostenso is part of a country called 'Cheliax', (2) there are other places that are not part of Cheliax, and (3) if the rumors are to be believed, some of them seem like much better places to live, he swiftly made plans to leave. Life is short, especially for a ratling, and some chances are worth taking.

When you're tiny, and also have invisibility and dimension door as spell-like abilities, sneaking aboard a ship is not particularly difficult.

Permalink Mark Unread

Like all ratlings, he has constant detect magic. Which is why, when he's sneaking around the ship, scoping it out for threats and opportunities (i.e. things to steal), that spell scaffold catches his eye. He's only seen the like a few times before, and always attached to important people. So why is this guy (seemingly) a lowly sailor?

He'll keep an eye on this guy from a distance, and follow him around for a while (so long as that doesn't put the ratling at risk of exposing himself). What's he doing?

Permalink Mark Unread

Right now, he is finishing up poking at his scaffold and leaving his room for his shift.  Apparently working some shifts as an ordinary sailor helps with the layers of rumors and bullshit he is hiding behind (as confirmed by both explicitly discussed planning and occasional detect thoughts on the inner circle of sailors in on the plans), and compared to staying in his cabin all day every day he actually prefers some work.

He works his shift just like an ordinary (albeit very inexperienced) sailor.

Once back in his cabin (one of the few ways he stands out is a very small but private room) he recites some odd poetry to himself.  The language is bizarre, almost as if he is making it up on the spot, but the structure is too consistent to be arbitrary.

Permalink Mark Unread

Does tongues reveal the meaning of this poetry?

Permalink Mark Unread

It's somewhat hard to understand because every few words there is a made up nonsense word, made up simply to rhyme correctly or have the right cadence.  Concentrating through this difficulty, it seems like an (initially) silly poem about a group of birds.  A lot of repetitious early sentences describe silly incidents and adventures the birds have together. Eventually some serpents that hated the bird's singing hunted them down while they slept, until only one bird is left, afraid to sing.  After many lonely wanderings, it flees across the sea and the poem ends.

There is an odd feature to this langauge... some of the nonsense words actually have clear meanings the second time around, the tongues revealing their meaning as if it was an ordinary word.  Some of the nonsense words don't translate cleanly to the tongues even after being repeated, but if the ratling sounds these words out in pieces it will turn out that these words are each a mashup of words the tongues can translate.

Permalink Mark Unread

This is bizarre and incomprehensible behavior. Not like, dramatically more puzzling than several other things the ratling has observed humans do and doesn't have good explanations for, but he's never seen another human do this specific thing. He has heard that insane people will speak nonsense sometimes, but none of those overheard conversations implied anything like this level of effort and purposefulness. Is it some obscure form of magic? Is this man not actually a human, but merely pretending to be one?

Permalink Mark Unread

If the ratling regularly spies on the human, it can see this behavior regularly, the human tends to do some form of incomprehensible recitation at least once a day!

Some general trends:

  • Sometimes the human repeats previous recitations, but with some of the words changed to new words.
  • New words usually need to be repeated at least once for tongues to work, but some words remain meaningless and sometimes new words are already translatable by tongues
  • The human sometimes uses a casting of tongues or of a similar but longer duration spell (not one the ratling has ever seen before) to help himself, sometimes he does it without magical help.
  • Lots of the words are changed when he uses tongues, but the ratlings tongues can translate them on their first usage.
Permalink Mark Unread

He does regularly spy on this human, who is the most interesting thing aboard the ship, although he can't get too close, or follow him around everywhere. He only has so many minutes a day of invisibility, and it's not always possible to remain undetected without that.

If there's an opportunity to take a look at the human's spellbook when he's not around (and it doesn't have an alarm or something on it) the ratling will do so.

Permalink Mark Unread

He typically hides his spellbook on the ethereal plane with secluded grimoire whenever leaving his room and whenever he goes to sleep.  He does have to leave his room unexpectedly one day, using up an extra secluded grimoire in the process... and that night he sleeps with his spellbook under his pillow.

Permalink Mark Unread

Well, he's not going to try to move the guy's head out of the way or anything. It's getting pretty clear, by this point in the voyage, that whatever mysteries this man holds, he's careful enough not to give anything away.

Permalink Mark Unread

The first mate has a job for him.  They had previously agreed any spell beyond first circle and outside of a few standard spell' Fernando could cast from the safety of his room would be paid for at half the price of a scroll, which is an absurdly good rate for Fernando, especially considering how he needs to make back the money he spent for his illicit passage (to save towards purchasing the materials to replace his bonded object).

According to the first mate, an unusually large rat was seen.  The ship's cleric has done the regular channels to try to kill vermin and they have only managed to kill regular rats, so something unusual is going on.  Fernando's half-joking guess was undead rats... but it seems the first mate quite seriously suspects some unusual magical creature that might be a danger to the crew.

Either way, the first mate agreed on the value of two second circle spells and one third circle spell just for Fernando to give this problem his best effort.  So Fernando, making use of his specialty, has a summoned spider swarm sweeping the ship one night (when both the ship's cleric, ship's wizard, and captain are all safely asleep).  Summon swarm has the unusual advantage of lasting as long as you can concentrate, so as long as he is systematic and careful he can sweep the entire ship with his swarm.  Hopefully the dire rat or whatever it is isn't immune to spiders.  If it is, Fernando will summon something with his summon monster III.

Permalink Mark Unread

His swarm does find a few mundane rats, scurrying around looking for food, although it seems like the cleric got most of them.

The ratling is sleeping in a hidden nook between several crates in the hold.

Permalink Mark Unread

He doesn't actually know what his swarm is finding until he looks himself.  And the only indication he has that the swarm has found a living creature is that it slips from his control and attack automatically.  Really, it's a testament to his skill as a conjurer and tweaks he made to the spell that he can direct the swarm at all, summoned swarms typically just attack the nearest creature without allowing any guidance from the caster. 

The first few rats the swarm finds and kills get his nerves up, as he struggles to direct his swarm onwards after they finish the kill.  But he thinks he has found his rhythm by the time the swarm surges into some small nook.  Perhaps this is a nest of rats the cleric missed?

The same tweaks he made to summon swarm to make it more controllable also means they have a slight delay in going fully on the attack.  But it's not like a rat or even group of rats will be able to do much with a moment of forewarning before the spier swarm fully closes in, is it?  He's on guard anyway, just in case the first mate's instincts were correct and something unusual is going on.

Permalink Mark Unread

The ratling is woken by the spiders and immediately dimension doors to his secondary nest on a different deck. He had planned for something like this to happen, although the massive swarm of clearly magical spiders suggests a more potent threat than he anticipated.

All Fernando finds in the small nook his spiders were so exicted about a moment ago is a small collection of cured meats.

Permalink Mark Unread

Almost as soon as his spiders start to attack they stop.  The rat must have died unusually quickly?  But no, he’s not seeing any rat corpses.  Did he imagine it?

He was sure he felt his swarm start to attack!  He carefully uncovers the coin he precast a light on.  Stockpiled food…

Whatever it was, it was intelligent!  And probably a spellcaster!

Permalink Mark Unread

He stops concentrating on his swarm and casts detect magic, expecting to find some combination of illusion and abjuration to hide from the swarm and turn invisible…

But it’s conjuration!  His thoughts grind to halt for a moment as he tries to think of a summons that would enable one to vanish, before his mind jumps to the obvious thought that it was a teleportation!  Which means this “rat” is a more powerful spellcaster than him!

Permalink Mark Unread

As he works through implications while considering his next move, one thought stands out.

A tiny magical creature with the planning to stockpile food and ability to cast a fourth circle spell might know a rare language.  Considering Cheliax… if it’s the last of its kind… killing it could mean extinguishing a rare language which would make it Anathema.  He’s really, really banking on his god making a strong case for him so he absolutely cannot afford the risk to killing that magical creature!

He thinks the first mate is actually pretty reasonable, he just needs to figure out how to spin this.

Permalink Mark Unread

Once the panic of being awoken to a swarm of spiders subsides, the ratling goes invisible and has a look around. Who was responsible for this? There are only a few casters on the ship and only one of them is anywhere near the hold he was sleeping in.

Of course it's that guy. The mysterious caster with unknown magical powers is now looking for him, or at least has some idea of what's going on. And he's probably lost his stockpile of food. Hopefully the ship will make landfall soon.

Permalink Mark Unread

They aren't that far from Corentyn, and then from there, they should turn south and then east making stops along the way, possibly in Rahadoum, likely in Thuvia and Osirion, and definitely in Absalom.  But a significant enough shift in weather, prices or major world events might see their entire planned route change to instead take them to Korvosa.

Permalink Mark Unread

Fernando would be most happy with Absalom, but his deal with the first mate allows for any place outside of Cheliax or Nidal.

The next morning he approaches the first mate with his report.

"I got several rats, and then found a nook with food stashed away and something teleported out, I think a dimension door, before I could kill it or confirm what it was."

 The first mate thinks out loud.  "A gnome sorcerer?"

"I think the nook is too small... so some type of magical beast... which brings me to my alternative idea"

The first mate tenses for a moment, then smooths his expression, 'Marit' has kept to their deal and kept his head down, so hopefully his idea isn't too reckless. "I'm listening."

"This creature would likely be pretty troublesome to hunt down and kill.  And... I am, at the moment, without a familiar.  Magical creatures often make good familiars, so I could take it as a familiar and keep it out of the way.  If it doesn't find that agreeable, well, nothing stopping us from hunting it down instead.  Although... seeing as how dimension door is fourth circle I would need help putting it down." 

Fernando knows the general details of the ritual to bond with a familiar, and he has the materials from his efforts at collecting the resources to bond with a new object, so it should be doable... at least assuming bonding with a new familiar is less costly then replacing an bonded object... it's the best plan he has.

The first mate thinks it over.  "Don't give away that we plan to kill it if it doesn't agree, obviously.  But fine.  And if it can't pass for some more normal animal, keep it out of sight so it's presence doesn't contradict the laundry wizard story or idiot noble heir sorcerer story.  And I'll think I can arrange to obtain the materials you need for the familiar ritual, you don't have enough on you, do you?  I can take the payment from what I owe you for your last few spells, and the next several ones you cast... we'll call it worth 10 circles of spells."

Fernando winces, but nods in acceptance.  The biggest expenditure he was saving for was replacing his bonded object (he loses nearly a third of the spells he tries to cast without it), so just as well if the money he would have earned went towards a familiar.

Permalink Mark Unread

So, that evening, with the cleric and ship's wizard confirmed to both be out of the way, Fernando finds himself searching out nook after nook of the ship, repeating himself in multiple languages.  His first guess is a Fey, and he would take it as a sign of Divine favor if it was a Protean, but he has is resigned to the possibility of an Imp, so at each nook he repeats himself in broken Sylvan, fluent (if slowly spoken) Protean, a school child's Infernal, and fluent common Chelish Taldane.  He repeated (with some variations for lack of or overabundance of vocabulary):

"I would like to talk.  The ship's captain wants you dead, but I have an alternative deal.  Please respond." 

Permalink Mark Unread

Eventually, in an isolated part of one of the ship's lower decks, with no one else around, he hears a quiet voice from behind him (in taldane).

"I'm listening. But know that I know secrets of yours, so don't think you can take advantage of me."

Permalink Mark Unread

The voice didn't tell him to keep facing forward, so he turns around slowly.  The creature might be bluffing and relying on detect thoughts or similar divinations to probe his mind (after prompting him to think of secrets), so he starts thinking in Protean.  He doesn't actually have any proper spells he can cast swiftly, and he would have about a one in three chance of messing up the spell anyway even if he did, so his best option is acid if it comes down to combat, which it hopefully shouldn't.

He finishes turning, hand at his side, to show he isn't preparing a spell or anything.

Permalink Mark Unread

A small creature, about a foot long (plus another foot of tail) is currently clinging to the ceiling, as if it were an arthropod several orders of magnitude lighter. It resembles a freakishly large rat, but with forepaws that resemble tiny humanoid hands and a pale, furless face that almost looks like a man's face in miniature, or perhaps a ghoul's.

Permalink Mark Unread

Not a magical creature he has heard of before... which raises the odds it is some rare kind of creature with a unique language that will get him rejected by his god if he kills it!  So no pressure, just need to work out on option that keeps it alive (or allows Fernando to learn it's language first) and keeps the first mate happy.

The human face is a bit unsettling, but he could learn to tolerate it, even like it, if it meant 4th circle casting on his side.  Maybe he should offer to become it's familiar instead of the other way around?  Except he would need to be tinier than it...

He looks the creature in the eye.  It looks kind of ghoulish... he really hopes it isn't undead, undead familiar plus his current alignment would make him an easy sorting to Urgathoa's realm.

"So uh, um... uh" damnit his stutter is back.

Deep breath in, feel the words, quick mental prayer.

"The captain and first mate know there is some sort of magical creature loose, if they didn't set me on they wouldn't have had other crew looking.  My spiders found you first... I have healing if they hurt you... I don't have very good control over them but really I'm actually better than standard at that particular spell and it was the best I had for searching continuously" he is kind of babbling, he needs to organize his thoughts...

He pauses for another breath in.

Permalink Mark Unread

The ratling will let him talk, its eerie focused gaze never leaving him.

Permalink Mark Unread

So kind of it to patiently wait, it reminds Fernando of his likely deceased (but now free in the Maelstrom) mentor.  Yeah, just think of it that way, it is not creepy at all!

He starts again.

"The captain and first mate are really worried by a strange magical creature aboard, but, so far, they only have one definitive sighting and my report of my spiders attacking and teleportation type of spell used.  One easy way to reassure them would be if they believed you became my familiar... familiars... you know how wizards have magically augmented creatures as helpers?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"I have seen some spellcasters in the company of animals. The purpose of this is not clear to me."

Permalink Mark Unread

“Well for the animal it gives them a longer life, and a big boost to intelligence if they weren’t able to speak before… uh I uh, I don’t know if it would help you since you can already speak… and they share in some of the wizard’s magical powers… that is probably redundant and worse than what you already have but it might add some versatility and more options.”

He pauses for any questions.

Permalink Mark Unread

"If I believe I am about to die, I see no reason not to tell everyone in earshot of your strange poetry and fancy spell scaffold. With that in mind, do you believe that pretending to be your familiar is the best way for me to survive this voyage?"

Permalink Mark Unread

If he went to kill this rat-thing, he would do it with the crew the first mate trusts, and they already know he is higher circle than he pretends to be.  Still, it’s best if the rat-thing thinks it has the upper hand.

He allows a trace of anger followed by a worried contrite expression to show on his face.

“I uh, definitely want to avoid that… so I want to keep you from dying.  I think we’re a bit over a week from our next stop, maybe two if the winds don’t improve or three if they get even worse?  So assuming you don’t mind living on or under the streets of Corentyn you could possibly just hide for that long then get off the ship instead of pretending to be my familiar?  If you don’t need to take any more food, and you can stay unseen by the crew I think the first mate won’t want to bother you any more.  If you have at will dimension door or at will invisibility or similar illusion or mobility so you can stay hidden that’s probably the best plan for you actually?”

He’s rambling a bit, but he is worrying the rat-thing has some sort of lie detection or mind reading and doesn’t want to outright lie.

“If you’re more limited than that… uh, yeah my familiar plan is actually pretty good.  And also Cheliax, including Corentyn, is kind of terrible.  I bet you’d like Absalom better, you wouldn’t even need to hide yourself Absalom has so many exotic things.  Stick with me and you’ll get to Absalom.”

He’s probably overselling Absalom, but he is confident that Cheliax is bad.

”For myself, I’ve considered getting a familiar for a bit… I had a bonded object before but the extra spell is less of a priority when you’ve got more spells.”

Permalink Mark Unread

"I can stay hidden well enough. If you did not take the food from my nest, I'll have enough to last until Corentyn. The bargain you offer does not seem worthwhile to me."

This 'familiar' idea is intriguing, but he can wait until he makes it out of Cheliax and spend some time scouting for a good deal. There's no reason to hitch his fate to the first prospect he meets.

Permalink Mark Unread

“Oh uh, we took the food in the other nest back, but yeah, but I can get you more food, especially if it means you stay out of sight.”

And then he can use that interaction to try to learn what languages the rat-thing knows.

”I can bring more food here, tomorrow night, if that works for you?”

Permalink Mark Unread

"Yes. It should be meat."

"When was I seen?"

Permalink Mark Unread

It probably won’t hurt to share information, and he wants to build rapport.

“Middle of the night, four days ago.  One of the crew has some tiefling blood (although you can’t tell just looking at him) and could see you even in the pitch black, at least well enough to tell you were bigger than a normal rat.”

Permalink Mark Unread

"Ah."

"Is there anything else?"

Permalink Mark Unread

“Do you have something you prefer to be called?  I’ve been going by Marit lately, but my name is actually Fernando.”

He’s really gambling that the rat-thing isn’t a Fey and doesn’t have spells that get stronger knowing the target’s name, but he really wants to get this creature to trust him.

Permalink Mark Unread

"I have been called many things, but do not have a name, if I understand the concept correctly. You may as well call me white-face."

It's one of the things his rats would call him, and most of the rest don't make much sense coming from a human.

Permalink Mark Unread

It's late at night, he doesn’t think anyone is coming by anytime soon, so he might as well see how long he can keep the conversation going and get to his most important question.

“Your Taldane is quite understandable…  Is it your first language or do you have others you know?”

Permalink Mark Unread

"I have magic to speak languages. It is called tongues in taldane, I believe."

Permalink Mark Unread

He’s heard the breaking of prophecy means the gods are less able to arrange coincidences, so that must mean his god had to exert themselves to arrange this perfect opportunity.  A familiar with constant tongues could really help him practice a lot of languages!

He switches to speaking in Protean.

“That’s quite a useful ability.  We can avoid being understood by anyone listening in that way.  And it’s not that suspicious for a wizard to have learned an unusual language.  This one is my favorite.”

It’s the language he speaks his poetry in. 

Permalink Mark Unread

He switches to protean as well, although he doesn't bother speaking slowly.

"It's not a normal language, is it? It has many ways to say things."

Permalink Mark Unread

He doesn’t have any translation up, so it takes a moment for his brains to catch up with the words, but once it does he is sure he understood.  His reply is a bit faster and free of his usual stammering.

“Normal languages transform over time as people change the words bit by bit and learn the changed words over time.  For example, a king speaks with a lisp, his vassals and servants imitate him, and a new variation of words slowly spread through a region.  The language of Maelstrom changes more swiftly and willfully.  A group of Proteans decide on a new variation of a word, and within hours or even minutes every creature across creation with a tongues spell or similar magical speech can speak and understand that variation.  Even a lone poet (with enough intent and stubbornness) can by repeating a new word to themselves make its meaning stick to the Protean language and thereby spread throughout creation.  Of course old words can slip away just as easily.”

Permalink Mark Unread

"Why do you compose those poems?"

Permalink Mark Unread

“If I wanted to sound grandiose… I like the idea of my words echoing across all creation in some small way.  But the most important part to me is… I had… a group, we were all trying for the Maelstrom, you know, be Chaotic Neutral…”.

He’ll leave out the part about following a Chaotic Neutral God.

“…they’re probably dead now.  And so, I like to hope that they’re out there in Maelstrom, talking with whatever Proteans or whatever they come across, and some of my invented words might find there way to them.”

Hopefully White-face will find him passionate and loyal and not pathetic?

Permalink Mark Unread

"...What is the Maelstrom?"

He has heard some things about the afterlives, but not a lot, and what he has heard was pretty confusing.

(Fernando's sentimentality seems in-character for a human, although it's not as if the ratling really gets it.)

Permalink Mark Unread

“Have you heard about the afterlives?  After your body dies your soul passes on and is judged according to Law and Chaos and Good and Evil and what God you followed and then sent to one of 9 afterlives.  3 of them are really horrible and easiest to get sent to, 3 of them are pleasant and nice but get that way by only letting very particular people in so they’re hardest to get sent to.  The Maelstrom is in between, reasonable to get into and not too bad once you’re in, especially if you’d rather not deal with cities or any coherent structure.”

Permalink Mark Unread

"I have heard about the afterlives, but not much, and it was confusing. How do people know things about them?"

Permalink Mark Unread

“Well… there are a lot of spells that can get information.  Scrying is 4th circle for wizards, 5th for clerics, and can let you see someone in the afterlife.  4th circle clerics can call outsiders from the afterlives for an extended period of time… at 3rd they can do it briefly for a single thorough question and answer.  5th circle wizards can bind outsiders.  5th circle clerics can outright go to the afterlives.  I’m 3rd circle, so the best I could do is a very temporary (uh… like 9 rounds) summoning of outsiders specifically shaped to be weak enough to be summonable by someone like me.”

“And powerful wizards and clerics are rare, so there is probably a lot of deliberate lies and willful misunderstandings mixed in to what’s been passed on to me…”

Permalink Mark Unread

"It seems like something people would lie about to get other people to do the things they want. I would like to know what is actually true about them someday."

The ratling hasn't actually made many observations of Asmodean clergy, but he is aware of the concept of manipulative lies, and this seems like a fairly obvious thing to lie about, if you wanted to manipulate people.

Permalink Mark Unread

“Oh yeah the Asmodean priests lie a ton, like they don’t bother to hide the fact the Asmodeus considers everyone else his slave and tortures them for hundreds of years, but they try to make you think if you’re an obedient enough slave to him you get tortured less.  Like he isn’t just arbitrarily cruel.  And they try to direct attention away from the fact that it’s really easy to get a non-Lawful alignment to avoid his afterlife.  Like Chaos is easy and Good is really hard but probably not as impossible as they make it sound?”

He’s rambling a bit but at least he’s not stuttering and his Protean is coming out smoothly.

He does have an offer he could make…

“I could summon a lantern archon for over half a minute if you have a concise question?  Lanterns archons are pretty weak, as far as outsiders go, and not very smart, but that means they can’t do any tricky deceptions and they are Lawful Good so they can’t directly lie either.”

Permalink Mark Unread

"Later, perhaps. I would need time to formulate a question. Lantern archons come from..?"

Permalink Mark Unread

“Heaven, that’s the Lawful Good afterlife.”

Permalink Mark Unread

"...What is a circle of a wizard or cleric?"

Permalink Mark Unread

Right, he needs to remember this is a magical creature they may not know common sense stuff.

“Uh well, spells have a shape and structure to them you can kind of see with detect magic, and the shapes are really obvious if you put the spell into a scroll and look at the scroll with read magic.  One hole in the shape is a first circle spell, two is second circle, and so on. And it takes more power for shapes with more holes.  Laundry magic and mending is no holes, endure elements and mount and infernal healing is one hole.  Tongues is three holes for wizards, four for clerics… I guess even Gods can’t do everything perfectly so there are some spells that are more efficient and thus less holes for wizards.”

“Your teleportation is four holes I think?  It’s kind of hard to tell, sometimes innate magical abilities look like proper spells and sometimes not.  It’s aura was about the right strength for four holes?  Do you have to speak or make motions to use your teleport or is it more innate than that?”

He’a really curious but he doesn’t want to look like he’s collecting information to use against White-face.

Permalink Mark Unread

"I do not. I concentrate on using the magic for a few seconds and then it puts me where I want to be."

He doesn't really consider this an important secret or anything, so he might as well tell Fernando. It's... refreshing, to be able to have a conversation with a human like this.

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So it probably isn’t general purpose sorcery and that means White-face might only have one or two other abilities.  Which is good if it turns into a fight, bad for getting as strong a familiar as possible.

“How many spell like abilities do you have?  Uh, if you don’t mind me asking.  Most magical creatures just have one or two critical ones…  actually do you mind if I look at you with detect magic?”

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"You may. I have... detect magic, spider climb, which helps me climb things, tongues, dimension door, invisibility, and I can talk to rats."

Plus a few more he isn't mentioning, and he doesn't even know he can read magic.

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That is a lot… and each one accounts for things Fernando has already seen or can at least infer… which makes him suspicious that the rat-thing has more abilities it hasn’t given any sign of yet that it is holding in reserve.

“That is quite impressive… you could probably make good money as an adventurer, if you know, Chelish society wasn’t so repressive towards non-humans”

He’s not sure he actually believes Absalom is that welcoming, but it’s probably at least not as stupid-Evil as Cheliax and can recognize blatantly obvious talent and power.

A question along that topic occurs to him.

“Do you talk to other humans much?  Or am I the first to approach you?”

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"I have tried, a few times. It hasn't gone well. You are the first human to approach me, although that's probably because I stay hidden by habit."

Mother said that humans would always be hostile towards their kind because they were children of Lamashtu, and the humans hate all monsters, but he treats everything Mother told him with a fair degree of skepticism.

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“Allegedly (I mean I trust my mentor but I’m not sure he knew what he was talking about) Chelish humans are unusually cruel, because Asmodeus and his priests are trying to get them all judged Lawful Evil so we can be his slaves for all eternity, so it might be worth giving it another try with humans outside Cheliax… which would be a point against getting off at our next stop.”

“I should list off the afterlives in more detail at some point, so you can figure out which one you want to aim for… do you know what alignment you are now?”

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"Yes, leaving Cheliax is why I'm on this ship."

"Why would I know my alignment? How would I know it?"

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“Your alignment is an indication of how you’re likely to be sorted to an afterlife, so knowing it is pretty important yeah.  Uh… you can kind of guess what alignment you are based on actions, but it’s easy to fool yourself.  Like I’ve been trying to break more of Cheliax’s stupid laws and occasionally healing people for stuff, and I’m still Neutral Evil, I’m not sure exactly why*, it’s kind of a dumb system but it determines your eternity.”

“There are spells for directly seeing alignments, but a cheaper way is inferring it indirectly by using lower circle spells that interact with alignment, like Protection from Evil, Protection from Law, and Protection from Chaos.  They aren’t currently in my spellbook, but I could afford them with a few days selling spells.”

* Fernando generally avoids thinking about the implications of the nine or so people he’s effectively sold into indentured servitude.

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"Well, I have no idea what alignment I am. I don't really obey laws, though."

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“So probably not Lawful, but just ignoring laws isn’t enough to make Chaotic, or at least I haven’t yet.  And you’re probably Neutral or Evil on the Good-Evil axis.  If you want the most straightforwardly pleasant afterlives… do you think you could manage to live the rest of life selflessly and constantly helping people?”

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"Perhaps. I'm awaiting more reliable information about how the afterlives actually work before I change the entire way I live my life."

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“Well long term I’m nearly 4th circle so if my life keeps being as interesting as it has been the past five years I could do some scries for you once I learn the spell… I could spare a lot of scries for a trusted familiar.  For the short term… why not think on concise questions and then sneak to my cabin tomorrow night for me to summon a lantern archon for you.”

“I do need to sleep myself… so unless you have anything pressing I’ll be on my way.  Oh, and I’ll get some meats for you for when you come by my cabin.”

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Not exactly reassuring that he asked to meet in one place and then changed the meeting location with no explanation, but the ratling doesn't think he's at any greater risk of ambush meeting in Fernando's cabin.

"Very well."

And he departs, scurrying along the ceiling into the darkness.

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He had actually forgotten what he said earlier, it was an exciting conversation!

He’ll get back to his room and get to sleep.

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The next evening he is feeling ready.

He smoothed things over with the first mate, reading the first mate’s mind about it to make sure he wasn’t scheming against him or White-face.

He has a nice selection of meats he obtained from the first mate for a reasonable price (outrageous by normal prices on land, but easily affordable for a wizard like himself).  Even if White-face has voracious appetite the meats should last two weeks.

He has two *summon monster IIIs* and a few other spells likely to be helpful.

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Eventually, he hears a quiet knock on the door of his cabin.

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His door is thin enough that he can see any magic through it with detect magic.  If it is Whiteface, he should be able to see any magic Whiteface has active, which at minimum should mean a *tongues*, probably a *spider climb* also.

“Coming.” He says softly.

He takes his time enough to let the detect magic resolve.  Divination and transmutation, so probably his new friend.  He opens the door.