"Good morning, again," he says when he is more lucid and she is not on the phone with her mother.
"I actually mention it in large part because my clan lands are warded against, among other things, scrying, and while I don't know if it'll interfere with your offworld magic, it's possible. If you can't see into the clan lands to pick a spot to teleport to, there's a nearby beach that will do."
After some totally not subtle checking out of Isabella, he realizes something. "Wait... Witches don't care about nudity. On clan lands I would be extremely embarrassed and focusing on silly things, wouldn't I?"
"No need to stay long; we can just take off and fly to Charlie's house right away. If you do loiter on clan lands, then yes, eventually you're going to see the queen or one of my distant cousins or some five-year-old girl getting her dagger lessons, running around starclad."
This is obviously not an idea he is going to implement.
"I've never really gotten why it's such a big deal. I mean, sure, in mortal culture, being clothed is the default, because you get cold, and then if someone is being non-default, that has its connotations, but why is it so hard to shuck those connotations when you're dealing with people who have a different default? It seems kind of like someone who's obviously not speaking English must mean whatever it would sound like they're saying if they were."
"Hmmm. Well, personally my defaults are hard to change easily. When we'd first met, when I made dinner and you asked how I'd feel if you went starclad... For me it was a young, beautiful woman that wants to get naked and that is rather hard to ignore even if it's not a big deal for you. To be fair, I did honestly try, but uh - not so good at it."
"It will not be as distracting for your mother to be naked as it would have been with you in the earlier example of when you offered. Since you'd kind of caught my eye with the 'I want to make people immortal' bit and I was paying more attention, then. But it might be awkward because she's your mother, at the same time."
Dryly, he adds, "I'd even let you say you 'claimed me at dagger point' if you really want."
"Boyfriend it is. I'm not willing to get caught lying to anybody who'd be impressed by a story about me backing you up against a wall and threatening your bodily integrity, but thanks for the option." She chews her lip a little bit, then, adds, "This is unlikely - I don't have a target painted on me, for one thing, and nobody knows who you are here, but if somebody starts acting like she would like to claim you at daggerpoint, first of all, I will back your right to self-defense if you have to resort to magical violence but don't recommend trying to bring a fist to a knife fight against any witch who isn't as clumsy as I am; and second of all, if you'd rather not set her on fire or whatever, you can tell her you're very flattered but you're spoken for, and show her your protective tattoos."
He looks curious, and amused. "I also wasn't aware that having protective tattoos would translate to 'spoken for' - makes sense, considering why they were made, I suppose."
He has probably noticed by now that the back of Isabella's neck is the very best place to put kisses if he wants a puddle of whimpery Isabella squirming in his lap. These results persist with a strong effect significance when the sample size is increased to two.
Eventually (slightly less eventually than the previous evening; there's less pent-up frustration to go around now) Isabella says: "We could put on clothes and go see my parents, now. Well, first see if you can scry the clan lands or if we have to use the beach."
"That's weird," he pronounces, after a pause. "And kind of giving me a headache. I can... Sort of see it. Kind of. I can tell that there are people inside, but I couldn't tell you where they are specifically inside, or what they even look like."
End scry. "I think if necessary I could still teleport there, but it's harder. Your clan territory just didn't show up at all."
"Okay... the border of clan land goes over this beach. The part I want to go to is south of the border, it's got some big driftwood around most of the time, it may technically be part of the Quileute reservation but I'm not sure. It's usually empty. Except for seagulls."
He goes to retrieve clothes, giggling a little. "Forgive me, my dear Isabella, I hope you can hope to get by with just portals, extra planar transportation, teleportation, thingamajigs, scrying, illusions, shielding, stone-shaping, and general gadgetry. Somehow."
"Yeah." She's pretty quick and practiced about getting her silks on. She starts fussing with a tangle in her hair, gives up, and combs it all out with a brief spell (it's not in English, but translates roughly to "flying ruins smoothness; fix my hair"). Then she gets her phone and dials her mother again.
"Hi, Mom!" Isabella says into the phone. "Yeah me again - we'll be there really soon. I forgot to tell you that my boyfriend is, obviously, not a witch, so if you could be in silks the whole time I'm sure he'd prefer it. Yes I did. Yep. Adarin. Mm-hm. She's a kagu. You'll get to meet him really soon, Mom."
Shoes are finished being put on, then he retrieves a book and gets to working out the specifics of the teleportation spell. It's not going to be particularly difficult, but he's not good enough at this kind of thing to do it on the fly.
"I think I'll be vague and see if she tries to pin me down. Maybe I'll get her to guess and that'll keep her occupied." She collects her bag of things, drops her phone into it with the alethimeter, her notebook, the thingamajigs, and herb kit, and says, "We ready to go?"
Spell is cast, and there they are, on the beach.
Vern isn't sure what to do! So she finds what seems like a polite distance to sit at, deciding that if there is a thing that daemons should do in this situation, Path will tell her, or Kesathi will interact with her.
"I am! I can sort of fly or glide for a little while, but it's not quite the same," she explains.
"Well, that's what cloud-pines are for, when you've got witches around," says Kesathi. "You're little, that must help. If Ranata insists on flying me and my Charlie somewhere I have to be in a sling under the branch. I don't think we're supposed to be flying creatures, me and Charlie."
"That's unfortunate, but no one can fault you for your nature. I, for example, am not meant to swim. Cloud-pines are amazing, though, Adarin and I are so charmed by them. It's for the best that I'm little, I think. I get to go to fun places."
"Oh? Did you and Charlie catch the fish we're having?" Vern asks curiously.
Vern giggles, a little. "We might try it one day, just to see."
Then, to plans for colonizing Mars. "Fancy reclamation seems like the best bet, especially when starting out and they don't have a lot of supplies to work with. They will probably also need a way to get the materials for making new bubbles on their own, in case something comes up and they need a place to make a type of medicine for an outbreak, or something."
Vern trills a little, happily. "Thank you."
She looks a lot like Isabella - and thanks to the miracles of witch agelessness, not much older - and fortunately enough she's wearing silks, tied in the same style Isabella uses.
"Isabella, hi! It's so good to see you! Is this your young man?"
Adarin snickers. "I'm not from Seattle, is the first thing that comes to mind," he says, clearly amused. "But more seriously, I like learning things, then using those things to do useful things - oh, and I think magic is the best thing ever. Before Isabella and I started dating I got her to show me all of the various goddess' effects on a light spell, that was fun."
Vern decides that she will follow couch-ward, though she doesn't actually sit on it. She plops down beside it, looking content.
Vern blinks, surprised. "That wasn't my intention, sorry! I just don't know how to explain it quickly. We weren't CIA or special forces or anything. But we needed to."
"We were fine," says Path, drawing paths in Kesathi's fur with his claws gently.
The doorbell rings; when Isabella gets the door, it is a tiny hummingbird, who zips around the room inspecting everything, lands in his witch's hair, and then zooms over to sit on Kesathi's forepaw. "Hello," he says to Vernaia. "I'm Castarilan."
Ranata emerges from the kitchen. "Fish in the oven. Now, I'm pretty sure this isn't any native English speaker accent - you're not from America or Canada and you're not non-rhotic - so unless that's a red herring for some reason... Did you just travel a lot as a child?"
Vernaia snuggles back. "It's alright. We just miss him, sometimes."
"Hobby-wise, or profession wise? Hobby wise, I'm an utter nerd, studying and reading things - magic in particular, Isabella helps me with that. I might take up learning some more languages now that I think about it, as well, they're fun. Profession wise, I actually just quit my last job, so I'm now between them."
"Wars actually contain a lot of archery and dagger combat," says Castarilan. "It's too easy to sneak up on someone who's casting, and the most effective combat spells take a long time. More efficient to bless all the arrows ahead of time from the safety of clan lands and then shoot at each other."
(He does not think there will be maggot cheese.)
He looks very amused. "I have some very, very good reasons to treat all of the women in my life exceptionally nicely."
Adarin hums a faint tune, then does a teensy little spell to make a little tiny globe of light. It floats over to Isabella and makes a little heart, then disappears.
Adarin giggles. "Thanks. I'm sorry for not telling you immediately, but uh - we kind of don't want everyone to find out there's now a new brand of magic running around and freak out accordingly. I'm a nice extraplanar visitor. I would like to keep all of my insides where they belong."
"It is... I suppose the best way to explain it is that rather than circles or saying things, we have to think and remember all of what needs to happen. Not just what the spell will do, but what we are doing in order to have what we want happen. Sounds simple at first, but it's really not when you do things that are larger-scale than a little light. We tend to specialize in a type of thing that we know really well, and do that because it's hard to remember all of the details to every spell ever on the fly."
Adarin nods to Isabella's explanation! "Whistling has absolutely nothing to do with it, I was just trying to think of something that would work. I mean, I suppose it could if I used whistling as a memory aid, but I usually just talk to myself or take obsessive notes instead."
"Yeah. But there's lots of hurdles to jump over, and you won't have a portal to every major city overnight even once those are handled, and a single portal can handle a lot of volume - maybe even as much as there currently is in plane form going between any two cities - but it can't necessarily handle all the volume that there would be if getting on a plane was as painless as walking through a portal, so there will need to be several before we can drop the price point and accommodate ideal demand, so for a while planes might be able to beat us on price just because we have to reduce customer volume even though our costs per passenger will be less."
Then he realizes he is in front of her parents and coughs.
"Right, anyway. Once that's done, and we've got a good buffer of money, it can be used in a variety of ways rather than being sat on. Useful ways. Not to mention what my plans are for this plane's technology and how to use that to fix the insanity that is my home."
Adarin leans towards Isabella, snuggling a bit. Quietly, Adarin says, "She... Basically jumped to conclusions and decided that if she touched Vern, then I would fall in love with her, or - something. Isabella got her off of Vern, thankfully. That was what made me just... Decide to stop living there, to stop trying to work with those people. I'm just going to circumvent them, now."
Adarin nods at Isabella's words. "When Vernaia appeared I was extremely confused and didn't understand what was going on. I'm still the same person, but there's... She's outside, walking around, now."
He smiles, a little. "It's nice. I think having a daemon is a vast improvement to not."
Vern trills, a little, happily. He smiles fondly at her.
"Hmm. I think in the long run, yes, but at first there would be problems because they don't know what they are and they're freaking out. But if they're in a plane where everyone has one, then they would adapt reasonably well. Normal people, certainly, the mages I would put somewhere remote so they don't hurt anyone by being idiots."
"... True. But I think I might actually be biased now. I mean, yeah it's a huge vulnerability I didn't have before, but - I don't even know. I'm happier this way, she helps with muscling through emotions, helping me be a better person, soothing doubts that I have with other people socially, keeping me company when I'm alone but with still the soothing feeling that I can get from being alone - or, conversely, actually being alone but having something feeling like someone is there. So I'm just not seeing why they wouldn't think it's worth it unless they were in a society surrounded by people who don't get it. In this situation, they would all get it by immigrating."
"I wasn't completely serious about colonizing Mars, but it's an option if we want to keep extra-planar immigrants from doing both losing their culture entirely and from doing terrible things to people because they don't understand. Honestly it might be better if we found a planet that was habitable in this plane already, rather than Mars, because it would save headaches of 'How do we survive with no atmosphere' that way."
"Hm... Probably not to the other side of the galaxy or something, but in the general area around the Sun I think I could manage it. Further away the harder it would be, so preferably something close-ish. Basically, treat it on the level of planar-teleportation but with more ability to scry beforehand, but harder to do because it would involve a lot of math. So if colonizing another planet becomes an option, I would have making a portal be my first order of business so I don't have to do the math part again."
He retrieves and flips through his book of spell cheat sheets.
Absently, he adds, "Won't have enough to teleport us home if you want me to cast it now, though."
"I built it so that it doesn't just automatically translate everything for you. It gives you translations for what's being said, and when you want to say something in a language it will give you the words to say, a pronunciation guide, and grammar information if you want it. It's all in your mind, but it stays nicely out of the way as you learn the language yourself, and if you don't ask it questions it won't bother you at all except translating things you don't understand. As you understand them, it'll phase out and stop translating them."
"There you are," Adarin says.
If she'd like to test it, she has to think of a language she's heard before and what she wants to say.
"So, we can either fly to the portal now, or wait and I could teleport us there. Either is fine with me," says Adarin.
His other half is going to get to the bottom of it, though. Vern is looking generally embarrassed, and gives Path a little affectionate nuzzle before departing from cuddles to go... Try and talk about that.
The awkward in her is palpable.
"It's a twinsize bed that I've had since I graduated from a baby hammock - I think the fact that I slept in one of those till I was two is why I went back when I moved out - but we've snuggled up on the sofa, it won't be any worse I imagine."
"I'm glad you're getting along," says Path. "We were a little nervous about that. They're protective."
Vern nuzzles Path! "We were nervous about it too, but we get where they're coming from. Kesathi had some legitimate worries and I told her that we have the best of intentions for you. We care about you so much, Adarin's never been this sappy before, it's adorable."
Wikipedia is still amazing, but leads to strange places. He has no idea how he got to garden gnomes from his starting point of the radio, but it was a marvelous journey for all.
More nuzzles are required. "We don't ever want to. We don't think you'll hurt us either and we trust you so much."
Path is on board with experimental attempts at being snugglier. "On what time scale?" he wonders.
Vern looks embarrassed! "Well. Everything? Sometimes we were unlucky, but this is - it's right there with the best actually viable outcomes, and most of the ones that are impossible. We found a place where I would exist, and Adarin's said he's happy that he's had something given to him he didn't know he was missing. Then there's the magic that's useful and different, and the technology."
She looks even more awkward. "And, of course, in the middle of that, is you. So it's worth it."
He trails off. How in the world do you tell someone you love them? Not in a familial way, but in a love kind of way. He has no idea. Absolutely no idea. So he chokes.
"... I'm glad you're here," he manages, instead.
"Yeah. I like existing. Being a daemon is nice," she says.
He continues to be terrible at this. It should not be a surprise by now. Adarin's only barely avoiding pounding his head on something in annoyance. He should be better at this.
Daemon wingsnuggles. "It's so great here."
(It is, he's pretty sure.)
"Yeah, we know. We did see Wikipedia, there are... Lots of things that are a mess. We'll help, you know we'll help - but we can't leave New Kystle un-helped. It would bother us, knowing that we didn't."
Snuggles.
Adarin yawns again, and eventually meanders his way up. General decency clothing goes on, then... It's time to stumble off to find tea. He retrieves Vern, deciding that since she is the coherent one she will direct him. Maybe.
"If you run into a wall," she tells him, "I will peck you."
"Got it," replies Adarin, and he puts her down.
"Most people like cream or milk, and sugar, in their coffee," she tells him. "But up to you how you want to try it."
Breakfast, it turns out, is pancakes, all already made with blueberries in them and keeping warm in the oven.
"Best girlfriend," he tells her, when she has this set up for him already. "Best."
Adarin is not up to specifics, right now. He plops down, and tries the coffee as it is. He then makes a face.
"Wow is that strong."
He is kind enough to speak reasonably slowly, though not going arduously slow. She wants to learn more about it, not have it drag slowly in front of her.
"They are all different lengths," he says primly. "And they do not make sense. Why is February randomly like two days shorter than any other month? Why do you measure weeks in sevens? That is so very strange, they're hard to multiply. Ours are in fives so it's easy for math."
He is not actually too upset about this, but it's fun to talk about.
"Oh, and - Castarilan's staying behind, I think Path will too, it's up to you about Vernaia, but I'm not sure how well separation works across entire planes. Probably one of us should nip into New Kystle really quickly as a dry run before anybody else goes through."
"Yeah. Don't go splat. I mean, if the result is more exotic than 'passing out', I could easily be in more trouble somehow, but it seems like the most predictable category of results mean I should tie myself to my branch just to be safe and go through first. Or Ranata could but I have qualms about experimenting on my mother."
"How's this: you go through with Vern. Me and Path go through, in that order, with him gliding with enough momentum that he'll follow under most possible circumstances. You'll be there to catch me, even if something happens it'll only take a moment, and probably we'll just be fine and Path and Vern go back without incident and Ranata follows us through."
Isabella is possibly in danger, and he can't think of a valid reason to get her out of it.
Because he loves her.
... And if something had gone wrong there, she never would have known. Hell, they're in New Kystle, the land of his nightmares, with the group of people collectively responsible for making most of his life suck. Something could go wrong here.
"I love you," he whispers.
"Good, because if you didn't I would have launched into an entire awkward 'It's okay you don't have to respond in kind right now, I just thought you should know with no demands attached' conversation."
Hugs. Just - hugs.
"I would not have thought the same thing, but that would be because I still held a reasonably high probability that my brain would snap into Insane Witch Logic at any moment and I would decide to abduct someone for the rest of his life because he had pretty eyes."
"I do! It's not too high up on that side. I'll be okay," she informs Ranata, nuzzling Path a little.
He gives Vern a bit of a boost, and she glides back through the portal. She lands safely, preening her feathers a little once she's on the ground.
Then, Adarin gets proper snuggles.
Not to mention, feel the starlight and moonlight.
(Vern snuggles Path back.)
He directs them to a spot that's nestled within several hills - when viewed from the air, it's brighter than the surrounding area. Upon closer inspection, everything there has the feeling of careful cultivation, and of a lot of care. Magical care. Plants twine together to make archways and subtle fences, along with mundane things like chairs and tables. Flowers bloom in lovely complementary colors, matching the sky above and occasionally contrasting it. If there ever was a place that screams 'There is a magical person that lives here' this is definitely it.
"Right then. Will me ditching right now cause problems with one of my brother's many plans, or can I just fuck off to unicorn land and see if I can find a place to live?"
She is feeling charitable, so she adds to Isabella, "Not living with you or him, by the way, fuck no, I do not want to know what you two get up to, glad as I am he finally got laid - to someone that's not after him to have his magical spawn. But he wouldn't be so over the moon over you if you were trying that, so I thought that was obvious."
"I did not invite you to live in my house, I'll point out. I'm actually not sure how easy it'd be for you to find someplace to go with no legal existence in the country, but if you like uninhabited wilderness there's probably somewhere to stash you and my artifact of objective truth can help you find it if you ask me nicely."
"Yup, I was just preventing that from ever being a thing. Adarin's dating you, I figure you must save at least three kittens from trees a day. Uninhabited wilderness is pretty great, though I might get lonely and go investigating things. So, guess I'm asking nicely."
"Yeah, he used to turn into cute little dragons, yea big," says Isabella, holding her hands a few feet apart. "...Children's daemons can change shape, I don't think I mentioned, usual settling age is thirteen or fourteen, sometimes as young as ten or late as seventeen."
"I have a list of things my sister is not allowed to do when she's doing something for me," says Adarin, amused. "She does usually follow it pretty well, she was kind of playing it up with you here so you wouldn't get the wrong impression of her. Though she might end up punching my assailant if we see her. I can't really stop her from that one."
As if she hadn't been ready to go in three seconds flat, she emerges from the foliage.
"Alright, lovebirds, I'm ready to go."
He is hoping she is not starclad. While he's sure Isabella got her good looks from somewhere, seeing his girlfriend's mother naked is not a thing he wants. Eternal youth or no... ick.
Before landing, Isabella circles the house, looking for the attempted or the successful daemon-snatchers if they should be lurking. Just because there are no daemons here doesn't mean that people who commit atrocities are safe.
That might be Enathira. Isabella glances at Adarin to gauge his reaction.
She leans in close. "You see, we know each other really, really well. Sometimes, when we were little, we played a game together, rating things on a scale of one to ten... He'd always, always stay in between those two numbers. Because he doesn't like exaggerating. Because he hates biased statements, because he doesn't like to make scales that would then be broken. He is not that kind of fucking person."
"So you fucking understand me when I say he rated what you did a twelve. Fucking twelve. That is not torture levels. Trust me, I know my fucking torture, and he went past it. That is fucking worse than death levels. Do you get that, you stupid bitch?"
"What I am good at are threats, because I back them up like nobody's fucking business. Touch my brother again, go near him again, hell - even fucking look at him, and I will do things so terrible to you that people don't even have names for them. I will take you far, far away, and no one will hear you as you scream and beg for fucking mercy that I won't ever give."
"Squeak once if you understand. Twice if you need me to go over anything."
"You could go back to living in your plant maze, I'm not gonna judge. If you go through and get a snail, you will have a snail. If you go through and you get a sardine you will have a medical emergency. I cannot guarantee you will get something convenient, cool, or interesting."
"Huh. Well. It's not a unicorn," she says.
"Please. Like I would prance around like that," replies her daemon, sounding distinctly female.
"Nearest bookstore is in a little town fifteen miles that way," says Isabella, pointing north while her mother takes off, "I don't have any spare silk around, and I'm not sure how well you could pass for a witch unless you have a copy of Adarin's translation spell on to speak, oh, any Earthly language ever. I'm starting to think you should hitch a ride with Ranata and see if you can convince our queen to adopt you."
"Backup for your story if you claim to be a witch. Someplace both wildernessy and safe to crash. A cultural example to imitate so you don't - I don't know, remark on expecting to die of old age or mention the possibility that your daemon could have been a sardine. You'd need a little wrist tattoo -" Isabella points at hers. "And then you'd be covered by whole-clan deals with store chains and such. MOM, COME BACK!" she hollers.
"We're talking about Zeviana doing witch drag, Mom," says Isabella. "I think you could fake a simple demo spell, just speak a verse while you do it - you probably can't duplicate the effects of disappearing runes or herbs, though. People don't usually insist on seeing complicated magic. Can you fake the cloud-pine?"
"Impersonal," suggests Path.
"Yeah. Her daemon won't talk to people, either, only other daemons, which I completely neglected to mention as being a thing before they left... Anyway, what I see her doing is getting an outline of Zeviana's abilities, producing a list of things she'd like for the clan - significant enough to be an edge, not so big that Québec or whoever else has a lousy queen this century falls on our heads trying to poach our new stuff, big enough to demonstrate commitment and good faith on Zeviana's part and pave the way for bigger asks later but not big enough to really eat into her time right away. I'm not sure how much stock to put in my read of her, though."
He snickers, a little. "Even though she didn't have the translation spell."
"It's a little hard to describe a culture from the inside! The things I'm most aware of as 'witch things' are biological, or obviously related to biology - the lack of nudity taboo is because we're unharmed by cold and we can feel starlight and moonlight, for instance. Our daemons are always flying birds... we all learn to use bows and daggers, more or less well, and cast our kind of magic..."
"And it means you don't have to set a fixed price and transact with just anybody who wanders by with the right number of dollars," nods Ranata. "It's only inconvenient if we want something from someone who doesn't want anything, but there's usually something to be done, and the clan has done some large favors for some chain stores so anyone can show an Olympic clan tattoo and get what they need from any instance of that store."