"Hello. I didn't commit to anything on our joint behalf while you were asleep, just - wrote a letter to my great-aunt and started reading the mail we hadn't touched yet. Rest of the food is for you."

"Someone nearly drowned in a canal while blind drunk and wants them all fenced. Someone - here, I wrote summaries of all of it," Iobel says, pushing one of her ever-present notebooks at him; this one's in plaintext. "The most interesting one is probably the person whose familiar has run away and who wants her dragged back."

"I was thinking it would make a good test case for the general principle, especially since sometime today at least one of us will acquire the ability to talk to arbitrary familiars."

"You're welcome."

"Before we quit for the day before, I felt like I was nearly at something clever but I need to know more -" She looks up the notes she had in mind and reconstructs her state of mind and starts asking questions.

"You're welcome."

"We should. Probably some place out of the way that no one will happen to find. A pity that the palace doesn't have secret passages, that would have been perfect."

"But you do think it should be within the palace?"

"Hmm. Or near it, the palace is pretty big. If we had teleportation spells or flight that didn't last such a pitiful amount of time, I'd say far away. But we don't, so nearby-ish so we can keep an eye on it in case anyone stumbles across it."

"I am working on teleportation, but I certainly can't guarantee having it done anytime soon, let alone in a form that keeps all the features I'm designing," sighs Iobel. "The dungeon didn't look terribly full when we visited Nataliem... but then we'd have to pass him on our way to and from every time. Is there an obscure tower, maybe? Does anyone use the south one for anything?"

"The south one's for guest overflow, but other than that, no. I'll take that over Nataliem - we should ask if it's possible to put it on something portable or easily hidden. I don't know the rules of their portals well enough. Should we go ask them, once Cricket returns?"

"Unless he comes back and says they're busy."

"Mhm. Then we can just put the project on hold and work on other things."

She nods.

Adarin doesn't comment on this label for his alt. "I'm fine, love - up for watching me cast some spells?"

"Sure. Cricket, you can tell her now is fine, thanks!"

"I will," confirms Cricket, and he goes back to his spellbinder and hops on her lap and says, "They say now is fine."

"Now is fine," translates Iobel.

"Well, he doesn't care for you at all and I don't think he'll stop expressing that just because you'll be able to understand him."

"... I suppose I can ignore him? Or... Try to get him to stop disliking me?"

"He dislikes most people. But yes, either of those."

"Well. I'm guessing he dislikes me for the obvious?"

"...He usually refers to you as 'the neglectful one'."

"I can try asking him to stop, but he's more receptive to requests about his behavior than about censoring how he talks."

"It's fine," sighs Edarial. He doesn't sound insulted or angry, just - sad and resigned. Also guilty.

"...You're sure?"

Nod.

Isabella opens the door. "G'morning."

"Good morning," says Adarin, from his spot sitting on the bed. His book of cheat sheets is out, he is reviewing.

"Hello," says Edarial, still in raincloud mode.

"What's the matter?" Isabella asks the raincloud.

"... Cricket calls me the neglectful one. Kind of depressingly accurate."

"Ah, yeah, he... does. I guess Iobel warned you."

"It seemed like it would be worse hearing it for the first time out of Cricket's mouth."

Adarin frowns, then gets up and gives his alt another hug. That's about all he can do.

"I'm sorry," says Iobel.

"It's a really useful spell and I don't think there's a way to see that it works on every language except Cricket's, but I am... let's go with 'concerned'."

"... I don't think I can manage to make a spell to translate every language except Cricket's anytime soon. It's not built that way, I'd have to teach it how to specify a certain language from the others and it would be something of a nightmare," Adarin says apologetically. "Sorry."

"Not your fault, Iobel," sighs Edarial. "I'll be okay."

"You don't look okay."

"... No. But I'll get used to it."

"...can you see why this might not be the most reassuring thing you could say in this situation?"

Sigh. "I will get used to being called the 'neglectful one' and stop caring?" he tries, again.

Nod.

"Sure," agrees Adarin. He gives his alt a squeeze in the hug, and then retrieves the book of cheatsheets, and casts. It looks like nothing, and it feels like nothing. But then he says, "Done."

"What do I need to do to work it?" asks Iobel.

"You need a bit of a sample of a language and then - it's pretty intuitive." Isabella switches to English. "Now I am speaking my native language which is called English and by the end of this sentence you'll have it."

"Thank you."

"Here is a sample of English, isn't my language pretty," says Isabella helpfully.

"He did the thing?" Cricket asks Iobel. "Everybody here could talk to me now if they were worth talking to?"

"I did the thing," agrees Adarin, in Cricket's language.

"And no, kitty, you cannot have the thing too. Maybe unless you are very well behaved with just this small group of people."

"I do not lie or say stupid things that do not make sense or fill the air with pointless small talk," says Cricket. "Everyone should be glad to understand me."

"Well, this is just going to work out beautifully, isn't it," says Iobel before Cricket can reply. "Kitty, why don't you go - bother the cooks for cream. You remember how to say 'cream'? It's cream -" She repeats the word a few times as she puts Cricket out of the guest room and then closes the door.

"I suppose some familiars are going to be a bit more predictable than others in how they'll cope with being able to talk to more than one person."

"Apparently so. She's always nice to me," sighs Edarial. "And she's not particularly vocal about disliking others."

"Well, if Cricket's the only one she's at particular odds with I suppose that's as good as could be expected."

Nod. "I suppose so."

"Anyway. Hello, Berathyme."

"Hello," says Berathyme agreeably. "Were you worried about what your familiar would say?"

"He's judgmental and impolite, so yes."

"Noted. I won't shoo him so promptly again in the future."

"Understood."

"D'you like the spell? Isn't it great?"

"It's lovely. Pity I don't think I can duplicate it for use by spellbinders."

Adarin snickers. "I'd show you my notes on it, but I don't think it would be very useful."

"What sort of notes do you produce in the course of inventing spells? We wind up with huge - charts, with if-then sequences and so on, on enormous paper. It's possible we could still crib some of your work for some of your spells even if not all of them."

"I think I might have a few, yeah. I'm not sure how useful some of them would be, they're pretty basic, though."

"We might not take the same things as basic. Isabella showed up still needing the anti-clumsy spell I invented," Iobel points out.

"True. How useful's a spell to heat things up or cool them down?"

"Mmm, how big of things?"

"I don't think this unfolds into a meaningful improvement on what we've got," she says. "It's interesting anyway though..." She starts paging through the rest of the book, then stops: "Is everything in here okay to look at?"

He considers. "... Yes. Though do try to be safe, please."

"I can't accidentally cast a spell, and I can't learn one without completely understanding all its component parts," Iobel says, skimming the pages. "It's not impossible for a spellbinder to have a magical accident, but it's hard. Is it commoner with mages?"

"It is," he agrees. "If you miss something important, you could die or kill someone. I have to specify in my shields that people will not be cut in half and oxygen will circulate freely and - so on."

"And I'd have to specify that in the spellchart, but once I had the spell I wouldn't have to think about it again," says Iobel. Skim skim.

"It sounds it. But you don't have charge time, so there's that. Charge time and duration are both luck per spell for us. I have a flying spell that has a completely stupid ratio between the two - it's otherwise perfect but I never use it because it takes too long and doesn't last long enough."

"That's a pity. Ours can last as long as we fuel it, and cast as fast as we can think. Which, for some people, is really fast."

"Lucky. The shortest charge is thirty seconds."

"That must be annoying. I suppose continuous effects are more useful, in that case."

"Yeah, the only problem is if you want to make a hex you can't cast anything else all day. I made a lot of them when I had my shop."

"I think I might need that explained - make a hex?"

"Oh - we get exactly six spells a day, every spellbinder exactly six. But if we cast an entire day's batch all at once we can make something permanently magical. There's a fountain on the grounds that will heal any familiar immersed in the water, for example - although we don't know how to make more of those anymore, the chart's been lost - and that's a hex. The palace is climate-controlled and plumbed and in some rooms lit with hexes, too, although most people can't afford that many. Anybody can be a spellbinder but not everybody can fit a hex into their head."

Nod. "Ahh, I see. That's interesting. We don't have the issue with fitting things in our head, we can take our spells slow if they're complicated."

"Different sets of drawbacks and advantages."

"Yeah, same with mine. Materials and setup, but no use limit and I don't have to know much at all about what I'm doing if I follow the procedure - though I usually do because I'm a magic specialist."

"But I guess that means once you invent something lots of people can use it, no problem."

"Yeah, that part's great, very important for the immortality and resurrection things."

"And vice-versa! Alethiometer says I can't do interplanar travel no matter what I try, with witch magic."

"...Alethiometer?"

"Did I forget to mention that? I did, didn't I. I have an artifact that dispenses absolute truth! But it stops working if I take it out of Chamomile. I can work it through my portal bag from wherever, but it doesn't know about things outside Chamomile regardless. It's super useful for narrowing down spell research, though, even though it's cryptic - Adarin made me things to help read it, but it's just meanings, no grammar and it's bad at numbers and doesn't really do long sentences."

"I might revisit the things to read them, see if I can throttle grammar out of them. It's more - intuitive, though, I don't know how to work that into my magic."

"That is the best kind of artifact. I'd want one if it would work here."

"And I would get you a spare and hand it over! But it won't, alas."

"It does sound very, very useful. Pity. Oh well."

"On the bright side, I can scry. Not nearly as good as an alethiometer, but if there's something you'd like to know I might be able to find it."

"And there is pretty scenery on the way even if he doesn't find it immediately!"

Adarin snorts. "Sometimes, yeah, there is."

"We found lots of neat things while looking for the planet we put the colony on but there was something wrong with most of them. Poisonous water, excess earthquakes or hurricanes, giant bugs."

"How giant?"

"Some of 'em were like the size of this bed." She gestures at the guest bed she and Adarin slept in.

"It was the stuff nightmares are made of," shudders Adarin.

"Sounds it."

"I still think it would make an interesting big-game-hunting tourist destination. You could use the beetle casings as sleds after."

"Sure. I would just only go there to make a portal and then I would never come back. Other people can go there just fine."

Isabella walks her fingers up her husband's back, buglike.

Adarin squirms away, laughing. "Would you be at home in the world with giant bugs? Should I take you there so you can feel at home, love?"

Isabella giggles. "Noooo. But I'm not as freaked out as you are."

"They're a size that bugs should not be, it is wrong and unnatural. Even though it's perfectly naturally occurring, as demonstrated by the bug world."

"Well, they could have been genetically engineered by yet more aliens who liked having giant bugs around."

"They could have been what?"

"...Oooh, this is another 'intro to germ theory' kinda world, isn't it."

"Yes. Yes it is. Aren't you glad you've had practice with mine?"

Edarial is confused.

"... That is incredibly useful. We need to use that - as soon as humanly possible."

"Pity you can't use Wikipedia. But we can give you the highlights."

"We haven't actually tried running cable through a portal yet. If they can keep it open somewhere unobtrusive maybe we could give them a little router and an extension cord and get them laptops?"

"...whatever further largesse you're attempting to bestow I assume I'm all for it. My best current idea for a portal is to put it on a hinged plane of wood on the ceiling to take down as needed and put back up, perhaps with some kind of decorative canopy between it and potential observers, when it wasn't in use."

"That would work just fine," agrees Adarin. "You'd have to open it for us if we want to come through, but other than that - yeah, fine."

"We can leave you mirrors to talk to us with. I don't have any blank ones, though, so you will have to supply those. And wait for Adarin to have more mana again probably."

"Yes please. I will be useless for a while, eating all of your food and crashing in your guest room."

"We really should bring you food - should I just assume we have the same tastes...? I can go get something now."

"Yeah, trail mix and unadorned bagels and stuff gets old after a while. Probably safe to assume we match there unless you have anything culturally specific and also weird? Stay away from things fermented, very aged, containing any currently living things or air-breathing arthropods, more than modest amounts of spicy, or like - really strongly flavored in any way."

"Okay. And - what do you like?" Iobel asks Adarin.

"Same. If it works for Isabella, chances are it will for me, too. I'm really not very picky."

"Thank you," says Adarin.

"Okay. The - cat thing threw me for a loop but I'm fine."

"Perhaps he'll come around eventually."

"Possibly," sighs Edarial.

As it happens, Cricket is back before Iobel is and he scratches at the door before remembering that the people inside can understand him. "Hey, let me in."

Isabella lets him in.

In saunters Cricket. He hops up onto Iobel's chair to keep it warm for her. "Cream is very good," he observes.

"I'm glad you enjoy it," says Adarin, because his alt isn't going to say anything. "Hello there."

"Hello. You do not seem so bad. Are you teaching your other to not be terrible?"

Edarial frowns, but doesn't challenge this assertion and sort of scrunches in towards himself.

"I think he is terrible," says Cricket, lashing his tail. "He ignored a tiny rebellion in his own home even though they kidnapped several people and I left lots of marks on one of them. He didn't talk to Iobel enough for her to find out what was going on until he tried to start a conversation about having babies with her even though if he touches her without her wanting it I will shred him." Cricket displays a pawful of claws. "He acted like she was stupid when she was first trying to do queen things even though she is very very smart so smart the smartest. And he has not apologized, I know, I know what Marlese is for 'sorry', Iobel made me learn it years and years ago. He has said the word but it was not about the whole thing, I asked her, she does not lie, Iobel is good."

"Neither do I," says Cricket. He licks his paw.

Paw-lick paw-lick. "She is not even here to hear you. Where did she go?"

"She went to get us some food."

"Iobel is nice and a good hostess," says Cricket. "Best."

"I was apologizing to you, you need one, too."

"Yes," says Cricket. "But I do not think I care as much."

"It's because you are terrible, probably."

Whine. More curling in towards himself.

"That is incredibly harsh," says Adarin.

"Maybe he did not apologize because Iobel was too nice to tell him to. I am not."

Adarin's got a reply to that, but he decides that there's nothing to gain by antagonizing the cat and proving the 'terrible' pronouncement correct.

Edarial will not be saying anything and will just - keep being over there. Miserable.

Cricket continues to wash his paws.

And Iobel comes in with a tray containing soup and bread and fresh fruit and cake. "Hi, sorry that took so long."

"It's okay," says Edarial. Pause. "... I'm sorry. For - everything that's happened. It shouldn't have happened, and I'm partially responsible, and... I'm sorry."

"Cricket informed him that he hadn't apologized," explains Adarin.

"...And was probably unforgiveably rude about it, too, wasn't he," sighs Iobel, picking up her cat and sitting on the chair he's been occupied and setting him on her lap.

"Yyyyep."

"Yes."

Edarial declines to comment, just - continues to be miserable.

"Cricket, that was mean. I don't understand how you can admire how nice I am and then show no restraint yourself."

"I am not you," says Cricket. "And he was being terrible and I could tell him so, so I did."

"Please try to behave."

"I have said the important things already," says Cricket, and he snuggles into her lap.

Adarin scoots over and hugs him. Again.

"It's all over and done with. I'm okay."

Nod. "No thanks to me," he mutters, darkly.

"It could have been much worse if you had been actively out to do me harm," Iobel says. "Really, the fact that it wasn't should have clued me in right away."

"Still. Sorry."

"I know. Please stop beating yourself up about it. It's over."

Nod.

"And - just ignore Cricket. I don't think he's likely to monologue at you if you don't interact with him."

"He wasn't really interacting with him, actually," says Adarin. "He just sort of - leveraged addressing me into attacking Edarial."

"Well, maybe I'm wrong. I'm not used to him being able to talk to people." She sighs.

"It's okay," says Edarial, quietly.

"Believe me, if I thought I could get Cricket to apologize to you I'd do it."

"You're welcome."

And then he goes back to being quiet and hugging his alt.

"What going on?" Cricket asks Iobel.

"You have caused considerable social awkwardness and I have had limited success in cleaning up after you. You are very rude and you are not getting the language spell any time soon."

"You are remarkably attached to your little beast."

"Yeah, I am."

Hand squeeze.

"He's been around my whole life and he's terribly devoted, just - it's not so bad when no one else can understand him."

Adarin raises an eyebrow. "I see," he says. He glances at Edarial.

"I would have translated for you if you wanted very much to know and had told me. I told you what we were saying that time you gave me a look after we visited Nataliem."

"It seems like prying to ask what your familiar says. That one directly involved me, but general conversation - I'm not going to intrude."

"Well, now the - natural boundaries of privacy are redrawn, I suppose."

He nods. "Apparently so."

"Familiars are starting to come across as the opposite of daemons, practically."

"To the extent that I can tell I think Raney has a lot in common with hers."

"Yeah?"

"Dwarf caiman named Nimmen who likes to sing. Behaves very - portably; Raney usually brings her places, but quite independent, too, and easy to bore, she starts singing if no one gives her anything to do. Although unlike Raney she has very bad table manners."

"Is your dad a spellbinder?"

"Nah, I think it's only something like - one in three, one in four? - people who bind their familiars, and most of those don't learn more than a handful of simple utility spells. Raney knows a first-aid thing for her students and one to cool things off in the summer and that's about ninety percent of what she uses most days."

"... I'm having trouble understanding why people wouldn't just - be spellbinders and do nothing with it if they don't want it after. I mean, I suppose the fear of unmaking, but - still. Magic."

"It's not for everyone. Sometimes it's people not getting along with their spirit animals, sometimes it's a lack of desire or capacity, sometimes fear of unmaking. Personally I think I would have bound Berathyme even if I didn't like her, but not everyone would. Spirit animals are easier to ignore than familiars."

"It's considered a reasonably weighty decision. I did it when I was a child and so did Edarial, but by the time most people feel ready to make weighty decisions they're old enough to have just a little trouble understanding or even waking up their spirit animals to chat. And if you can't learn the spells and don't want the familiar..." She shrugs.

"... So what you're saying is that you were both precocious."

"Why am I not surprised?"

"Precocious, acquisitive, and wanted to hug my nice soft cat."

"Those, except add lonely to the mix, too. I wanted company."

"And remove the soft cat part of the mix, too, I'm assuming."

Edarial snorts. "Well. Yeah, okay. That too."

"Raney thinks more people should bind their familiars, but there's an obvious problem with collecting information on how the spirit animals feel about it."

"Just a bit. If I have time in the next eternity, I'll see if I can make a scry for it." Adarin winks.

"...Huh, do you suppose that's possible? You have the language barrier solved, but spirit animals aren't making real audible sound or really visible..."

"I wouldn't be able to do it in a weekend, or - probably not in a year. Or possible ever. But... I can always try."

"And find someone who we can warn about attempting to spy on their spirit animal so we don't accidentally listen on something that was supposed to be two layers of impossible to eavesdrop on."

"Well, the spirit animals can perceive their surroundings, so you could warn them directly if - I guess you need a language sample so you'd still have to talk to the human though."

Nod. "Yeah. So we'd need someone to help us out if I tried it, but volunteers shouldn't be so hard to find? ... Even if they're children?"

"They would have to be at least loosely within the definition of children, yes."

"That... Would be a complication."

"What exactly happens if you don't bind your familiar as a child?"

"You start getting rusty on the language, your spirit animal starts sleeping more and more and getting harder to see. People seem to forget about details of their spirit animals almost like they dreamed them."

"... That's a little terrifying, considering that familiars are sentient."

"Yyyyes. I revisit the question occasionally and have consistently come down on the side of 'the unfortunate dependence of familiar on potential binder does not oblige the binder to take responsibility for and risks on behalf of a familiar against their will' - but yeah, it's not great."

"Berathyme apparently wouldn't have minded, but - I don't think it's true of all familiars."

Adarin... Looks extremely upset.

"There are some theories that they get recycled - reincarnated, except without necessarily any better chances of properly incarnating the second time - but I think this is mostly wishful thinking; I've never heard of a spirit animal claiming to remember being someone else's."

Nod. "I'll look into trying to scry them."

"But what would we do with what we found, whatever it was?"

"... Try and figure out a way to help them. Or - give them a way to talk to each other, keep each other company. Something."

"The alethiometer won't be able to comment unless someone with a spirit animal moves to Chamomile, will it."

"Alas, no, and it's hard to lose it as a tool for any given project, but it's not like I can't do anything without reference to it."

Adarin nods. "And I'm used to not using it much at all. Considering how a lot of what I do involves other planes."

"Makes sense. It would be really great if you could do something for the spirit animals. Bound familiars sometimes have problems, too, we were actually looking this morning at a letter from someone whose familiar has run away."

Wince. "That one I don't think I can magic away. Sorry. The ball's in your court, your uh - majesties."

"I was thinking it'd be a decent test case for familiar rights as long as the binder has authorized us to step in to begin with. But it'll have to be done carefully, we don't want to just drive mistreatment of familiars underground."

Edarial nods. "It's something of a delicate situation. Your magic research is more straightforward."

"Yes. Draw out spellchart, revise, attempt to memorize. Fail, prune, retry."

"Essentially. But we can do this, too."

Iobel nods.