"Sure. Are the other me's hot?"

"The girl ones look like you, I guess except for the older one, who still looks mostly like you, just older. The guy one of you is pretty decent-looking."

"Sweeeet!"

"Why is that your first priority?"

"Because it seems like an important thing to know."

"And the others of me look like me, except Spring, who looks - well, she's not from Earth, but if I saw her on Earth I would think she was maybe Indian or some manner of South American or something. And they're a few years older, except Spring who is like ninety, but she looks twentiesish because she was resurrected from the dead and that is how that works."

"Cool! We get immortality, right? Because I want that."

"Yeah, Ice'll do it, but it only handles aging, not sudden death, so there's no hurry. And the other Darrens - they're called Adarins because two of them are named that - look like him, but with white hair, and older, especially Prime, who is five hundred something and used to have white hair that has since gone gray."

"... Okay that one's genuinely weird. White hair? Why? Why that color, that's absurd. Also, how did - Prime? Prime - make it to five hundred, did he have the immortality spell? Will my hair turn grey while the rest of me doesn't age at all? Because I can work with that, hair dye is a thing."

"Okay, so the ones who are named Adarin - Prime and Cypress - are both a quarter fae, and their moms were the half-fae parent, and she has white hair, I think because she had a fae parent, but it's not guaranteed by the time it's only a quarter fae because the others of you have brown hair. It's not usual in either of their home worlds. And being part fae is also why Prime can be so old; he looks old, but not five hundred, he looks kind of like a really tired fifty, maybe, and he could live another century even without magic help. But in Hex, people just have white hair sometimes, and Edarial - he's the only one named that, but everybody's getting nicknames regardless, Rain, he picked Rain - is one of those people who just has it. He's just a normal human, except for the magic things he gets for being from Hex."

"Huh. Congrats to Prime, then. Cypress, too, but I'm guessing he's not five hundred yet."

"Yeah, Cypress is twenty-something and so is Ice and they're adorably married and their souls are birds that cuddle all the time."

"Awww. That's cute. Why are their souls birds, though?"

"Ice's world Chamomile has everybody there having an external animal-shaped soul - by the way never fucking ever touch somebody's animal-soul - and if people go there, they get them too. Ice always had hers, and then Cypress came to Chamomile looking for chamomile which is why she named the world that, and when he showed up he got an animal soul too."

"No touching anyone's animal-soul, got it. Also, that must have been really alarming, just randomly getting an animal soul. When looking for a flower."

"Yeah, but he's gone native now."

"When you use that statement I had the picture of my brother with like - a shitty white wig on, dressed in a loincloth and hunting things with a spear. His bird soul flapping along behind him."

"Ice goes around everywhere with a bow and arrows and a dagger, wearing incredibly cool-looking torn silks with designs on, but Cypress does not have a spear or wear a loincloth. And his hair is not a wig."

"She's really cool. She's a witch, I think Cypress's sister decided to pretend to be a witch."

"When Ice comes back through here maybe she will call her sister-in-law over to say hi."

"Eeeeeee. Eeeee! That sounds fun, I like this multiverse thing."

"Oh, me too, it's awesome."

"And I'm pretty sure Darren's excited. Be prepared for him to talk your ear off about - magic things."

"Well, that will be new and exciting and completely unwelcome."

"Really? Well, darn, I guess you'd better break up, huh?"

"Oh, I was thinking I'd become a bitter henpecking nag."

"That works! If you let Darren wear wizard robes and a fake beard, I bet he'd let you."

"But if I go around letting him do things then my bitter henpecking nag status will be called into serious question!"

"Oh, of course, we can't have that. You'd have to wear the robes and beard, then."

"Pass. Well, you could sell me on robes, but not a beard."

"The robes might not be enough. I'm not sure. How do you feel about pointy hats?"

"Pointy hats are okay by me."

"I deem your relationship all right. You'll be fine."

"What a relief."

"I know you were concerned. It's okay, I'm here to tell you it's all okay."

"I was waiting with bated breath for your assurances. Without them I would surely have been lost."

"Yeah, that's how most people are about me. It's a wonder the world hasn't collapsed upon itself yet."

"Well, now there are several of you and you can pick up each other's slack!"

"Hmmm. Eeeeh, too much work. Can't I just leave it to you and my brother?"

"Yes, I suppose you can."

"Okay, consider it done. Do my bidding, peon."

"Whoa there. My alts include a queen and an empress and a goddess's right hand and all you have is one prince and some proles, cool the 'peon' talk."

"Awwww. You make me sad."

"At least I'm not calling you a peon. As far as you know. To your face."

"Are you calling me one behind my back?"

"You'll never know for sure."

"Pffff. Okay."

And with that, Ice comes back, unaccompanied by any Lynns or four-year-olds. "Hi, you must be Savannah. Hi, Phix. I didn't spot Prime while I was in his world. I can get my husband, though, and he can scry for whoever's after you."

"Thanks."

"Yeeees, love of my life?"

"Medallion Zeviana is here to give your scrying something to grab onto tracking down whoever's been giving Phix problems. Can you pop into Pantheon?"

"... Wow, white hair! And it's doing the Fabio thing. That's a thing I never thought my brother would ever do!"

Ice ruffles her husband's hair.

"I told you about the white hair! Anyway, turn into scary torture people so he can see if that works."

Cypress snorts at the commentary and hair ruffling, and kisses his wife's forehead. Because he can.

"I like to feel pretty," drawls Cypress. He gets to scrying. It mostly just involves staring off into space in silence.

Ice raises an eyebrow at Savannah.

"By the way, Savannah wants to meet your sister-in-law."

"Sure, I'll let Zeviana know."

"Eeeee, I'm excited, is she fun? I bet she's fun!"

"I'm sure you will think so."

"Does she have a harem? Of witches? Is there a harem of witches?"

"She has at least one witch girlfriend but I don't keep close tabs."

"And I bet she'll share, eeeeeee!"

"I'm sure she'll share, she was recently observed getting a Pantheon hotel room for three days to spend time with said witch girlfriend and your eldest alt."

"Fuck yes, damn, I missed that, that would have been so great!"

"That's what you get for not getting out of high school early and having to wait until weekends to do things."

"I didn't have the grades for it! I regret all of the unfinished homework, now! Auuuugh!"

"Well, it's the weekend in Medallion now, right? I'll call Zeviana as long as Adarin's scrying." Mirror, mirror, in the bag, interworld conversations with no lag.

"You rang?"

"Your highschooler winged deer alt is eager to meet you."

"I bet she is the prettiest winged deer."

"I totally am!"

"I cannot vouch. She is currently in the form of a middle-aged man who tortured Phix, so that your brother can use her as a pivot point for scrying. But I told her I'd tell you she wants to hang out."

"Of course I do. She has shapeshifting?" wonders Zeviana.

"Winged deer do that in Medallion, if they want to eat humans' hearts. This particular human was torturing Phix, so I'm not inclined to mourn."

"Ooo, useful. Yeah, no mourning here, either."

"Nor me," mutters Phix, who hasn't looked directly at Savannah since she shifted.

"Found him," pronounces Cypress. "He seems to be drinking tea. Medallions mean something to you, right? He's wearing one."

"What's the picture on it?"

Ice hangs up on Zeviana so he can use the mirror to show Phix the results.

"Aaaaand there's a dragon after me. Fucking great. Do you know how to deal with dragons?"

"Even if we assume all that means is 'large, possibly firebreathing, flying reptile' I am... not sure I'd like to try it."

"Not without knowing more," agrees Cypress.

"... Can't we assassinate him with magic or something?"

"I mean, I can do a death spell? But I don't know if it'd work on a dragon. I suppose I could ask Mrs. Adams to hang out in Chamomile and ask the alethiometer if it would work on her, but I'm not sure how consistent the effects would be between critter types, and the death spell could easily have different effects depending on whether the target has a daemon or not, which I can't check by alethiometer at all."

"My brand of magical assassination also has flaws. For example, I can't do it from the safety and comfort of your apartment, it's - near impossible to make a shield that far away and get the aim correct. As in, I doubt even Prime could manage it."

"So - I'll try a death spell if you want me to, but I can't guarantee it, and it also would mean that you wouldn't know why he's after you."

"Sphinxes and dragons had a huge war a long time ago, but I was so totally not involved, on account of not having been born..."

"... Ugh. That's an idiotic reason for - all of this."

"Yup. Kind of terrible."

"Savannah, can you stop being that guy now?"

"Thanks."

"Anytime. And now I never have to be that guy again, yay."

"The adorable little bugbear worked fine, and there is no valid magical reason for it to vary between kinds of critters or depend on whether you have medallions or not," says Ice. "So - hold off on the death spell unless he tries to kill you again?"

"Yeah. And I want my mom back, but - there's nowhere to put her right now even if we weren't suffering from a case of racist dragons." She sighs. "Cypress, can you get me the dragon's - address? Phone number? In case I have a fit of optimism and decide to try diplomacy."

"Let me try and figure out how to aim it at an address..." murmurs Cypress, and he gets the far off look in his eyes again.

"Your magic really isn't showy," declares Savannah.

"It can be," says Cypress absently. "I am just not a typically showy person."

Ice pets him.

Cypress smiles a bit. "Got an address, I have no idea how to manage a phone number, sorry." He then rattles off the address.

Phix writes it down. "If I knew more about what dragons can do I'd be more encouraging of taking risks with approaching him and trying to get a surrender or capture, but - I have no idea," she sighs. "So - I don't know. I'll talk to Darren."

"I mean, if it attacks you we can probably figure out a way to collectively defend you."

"Yeah, if another rescue mission is called for I'll definitely have Darren call in the cavalry, but - I mean, last time Savannah and Darren took out a bunch of his hirelings and we torched his warehouse and I got away and he didn't find any other sphinxes. Maybe he has given up."

"... In my experience, idiotic people that are after someone for stupid reasons don't give up very easily," sighs Cypress. "But perhaps you'll be luckier than I."

"Maybe he's out of scary biddable monsters," snorts Phix. "Maybe he's out of money. Maybe he's going to kill me next time and Ice will have to fetch me back, but on the other hand maybe he's got half a dozen dragon friends and if she kills him they'll work harder than he was ever going to to hurt me."

"I can get you a mirror so you can call for backup at any time?"

"Yes please."

He nods. "Possibly also a - back up plan, I doubt he can traverse the planes, so... Either I or Prime could teleport you away."

"That would be appreciated. I could happily go the rest of eternity without being declawed again."

Cypress winces.

"We killed them," assures Savannah. "If they try it again, it'll be worse this time. For them."

"Thanks."

"Anytime. I've got your back."

"Thanks," Phix repeats. "I guess I'm going home now."

Cypress nods. "I'll make some tiny, easily concealable wearable things. Any requests for what they are? They just have to be reflective."

"I wear my luck charm in my hair, because my hair stays put when I shift. A necklace could do the same thing, or a sufficiently elastic," she turns one hand into a paw, "bracelet. Ice can probably substitute for me aesthetics-wise."

"And I'll substitute for Max. What things stay when he shifts?"

"Uh - not much. And his wrists and ankles get smaller, not bigger, delicate little deer feet... He can still keep a necklace, though."

"Delicate little deer feet," snorts Cypress. "I'll go with the necklace."

"He's a pertyon, he's supposed to have delicate little deer feet. On which to prance."

Cypress snickers. "Does he actually prance?"

"He has done. I have been promised access to the pictures next time I'm near the photo album."

"... He's not letting you show other people, is he."

"No. It took me this long to get permission for myself!"

"I must remind myself - I am against the invasion of privacy with immoral scrying. Love, I'm against that sort of thing, even when it's for something as innocuous as adorable pictures. Don't let me do it."

"Of course not. Use your detailed knowledge of your target's psyche to obtain consent first."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"Awwwww."

"We are cute and flaunty."

"Both of those things."

"It's super adorable. Carry on."

"Will do." Ice accounts for all of her possessions and heads for the Chamomile portal.

"Thanks," says Phix to Cypress, and she goes back to Medallion to wait for Darren to get home so he can be apprised of the situation.

"You're welcome," says Cypress, and he follows his wife to their home.

Savannah does not head back to Medallion - she is going to meet her alt. They will be doing things. Glorious things. Hey, she's eighteen, it's legal now.

"Hi. Savannah showed up and Cypress used her to get a look at Mr. Racist Against Sphinxes. He is a dragon. I have his address. Ice will attempt to kill him at range for me if I ask, but I haven't yet."

"Yeah," he sighs. "Is there - do they have magical protection things, more than what we already got?"

"I think we got the full arsenal."

She does not want to be snatched either. She wants to snuggle him for a really long time, and then do other things without any intervening snatching, and then snuggle him again.