"Hello!"

"...Hey. --Look over there, there's a weird--bony--thing--looks kind of like it's spinning?"

"That is weird." And it is dead. "I think I learned about them in class last year? I don't remember what they're called, though. They're pretty rare."

He extends his hand. "Mana?"

"Oh yeah, of course, sorry." And his mana is Clay's.

"Thank you."

"So how are you? How have you been?"

"Pretty good. I mean. Busy. How about you, how have you been?"

Noncommittal noise. "Thinking about the old days. 'Cause no one's really my friend anymore. Other than you, which is-- I’m really glad that you-- thank you. Thank you, by the way, I don’t think I’ve thanked you enough for that."

"You're welcome! I try to keep you company when I can."

"Yeah, it's been... Really nice. Have you got anything you want me to do?"

"Uh... No."

"I have--I have one last request of you. Well-- two last requests, really. I know we're having lots of fun here, but just from a me-point-- I don’t think I’ve got very long left, so if there is just anyone that I could see, just... please. I just, before I go, I mean, even though they didn't come to my party, you know..."

"I'll ask Alex."

"Thank you.

And my, uh, my second request, I was wondering if we could--hang out? Before you graduated? Maybe--go to the snack bar or my room or something, I dunno. Give you a proper send-off."

"Yeah! Yeah, that sounds--really nice. I know I've been busy lately, but--yeah, that sounds great."

"Yeah, I get it. I'm really glad that--thanks, man."

"You're welcome."

Clay keeps his promise; Alex shows up in Tampa's reading room, even though Nick isn't there.

"TOMMAYYYYY!"

"...Hello, Alex."

"Why do you sound so sad?"

"I'm... I'm exhausted."

"You sound exhausted. You sound sad. So I have some gifts for you, alright? I prepared gifts for you from everyone in the study group. I think it's great that we're talking again, after months and months of not--how do you feel about that?"

Tommy brightens up for a moment at the mention of gifts and then deflates again.

"You haven't come to talk to me all this time, even after--you're only visiting because Clay asked you to."

"....Okay.

Um.

...................I don't think that matters at all, I mean, I'm here now, why are you complaining--"

That actually startles a sort-of laugh out of Tommy.

"Okay."

"And it was funny, right, it's so funny how Clay did all that--"

"You thought that was funny, you thought--you thought that was funny? I've--I've cried for weeks on end every night, I wake up screaming--"

"...What?"

"I never wake up, Alex, I never wake up from the nightmare."

Snort. Okay, kid's gotten edgy. "Yeah, life is a nightmare. But with my gifts and my incredible IQ we can make things a lot better."

"I've lost all the pep in my step. I'm not old, I'm just, uh, weak."

"Yeah, you're a bag of bones, buddy, and your fucking clothes are--" Alex starts laughing. "What does Clay say about your clothes, it looks like you've got fucking poo on them--"

"I will just kill myself."

"What? No no no no no, Tommy Tommy Tommy, they're really good clothes, it's like, it's what they're selling at Forever 21, all ripped up like that, the teenagers love it, the, uh, the adults love it too, alright, Tommy, uh--what have you been doing recently! I'm sure you've been doing interesting things!"

Huh, he had kind of wondered whether saying it out loud would help at all. Apparently not. He doesn't feel much of anything about it, really. 

"Not really.

I have, uh, some new mana storage. Well, not really new. New to you. Clay helped me make them. He also, uh, gave me this" --he tugs on his cross necklace-- "and, uh, some other stuff. Y'know, set up a better alarm at my room, all that."

"He gives you handouts?"

"Yeah, I mean, he’s actually-- he’s sort of my-- he’s borderline my owner, Alex, so I don't..."

"What, is he, like, your long-lost dad? Is it some sort of weird sex thing? I don't--c'mon, man."

"No! Ew!!!! Why would that be a sex thing!"

"Hey, I dunno, man, some people..." He puts his hands up in surrender. "I'm just saying, man, Clay's a dick."

"Well, he-- why don't we be a little less mean to him? He's-- the reason I’m so, uh... I’ve not been looking too hot. Ah, no, I still look hot. But the reason I’ve not been looking too hot is because of him."

"What, you can't repair your own clothes anymore, need daddy to do it for you?"

"Oh, shut the fuck up."

"Sure. I'll stop being mean to Clay, especially if he's open to being a sugar daddy."

"There's one thing you should know about me and it's that I love girls. Not that there's anything wrong with being gay! But I am not. I love women."

"When was the last time you even talked to a woman."

"Weeeeeeell I don't-- I don't see what that has to do with it. I meet my ladies on discord, in, in #general-2."

"What if they're the moderator?"

"Ohhhh, that's--I mean, that's when you know. She won't give you any warns. She'll say mee6? mee6? pardon this one."

"She'll give you roles without the owner's permission, that's how you'll know she loves you."

"She'll unwarn you and when it asks for a reason she will just say HOT."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm sure you did numbers on toontown."

"No, no, it's alright, I'm an adult now, I've listened to one xxxtentacion song."

"Oh, not the xxxtentacion song! Oh, you've suffered."

"Yeah, I'm all fucked up now."

"So I had--I told everyone I was going to visit you, and I said, I want you to give me a gift that you want to give to Tommy. I asked, uh, I asked everyone in the study group, but especially--especially Toby, because I know you haven't seen each other, it's been a little emotional. Ready?" (He's undoing the clasp of a side pocket of the backpack.)

"Yes."

Alex turns his bag over and dumps out the contents. There is... nothing.

He starts laughing, pulls it inside-out just to make it more clear, laughs harder.

"You fucker, you--"

"Please, Tommy, I don't know what happened! Someone must have stolen them!" 

"We were meant to be friends! You motherfucker, you--you've just been mean--"

"Tommy, we're friends! Tommy!"

"I want death. We were meant to be pals and you just came here and--"

"Tommy! Tommy please, it was a joke--"

"Are you fucking kidding. Why would you do that. You know I have very little will to live right now."

"I'm sorry, okay! I didn't realize it was that sensitive to you!"

"Banter becomes bullying. Banter becomes bullying, Alex."

"We're friends! We were friends! Listen, forget about everything, okay? Forget about--forget about Toby. Listen, Tommy, there's so many things you can turn to when you're depressed, alright?"

"I'm not depressed. I have Clay. Clay's my friend."

"You've got Clay? Do you fucking hear yourself, Tommy? Who did this to you, who ripped up your fucking clothes, huh? Who said that you and Toby couldn't talk in the first place?"

"It was a mal that ripped up my shirt, actually. I just... haven't been repairing it."

"Fine. Whatever. This isn't healthy, Tommy!"

"How do you know."

"I-- I just know, alright? I just know. Tommy, listen, I've done it before. Do you remember--"

"MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM."

"...What was that. Why did you just growl. You've been hanging out with Tampa way too fucking much."

"I did not growl."

"You literally did, you went MMMMMMM--"

"That's me mourning. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM."

"...Alright. Tommy, maybe you can-- I know what could cheer you up. Listen, I get it, okay? You've had a bad time, I have an idea, what do you turn to when you're sad?"

"Drugs." He almost doubles over laughing at the concept before pulling himself back together. "How about you, how did you cope? I can't cope anymore, I'm gonna kill myself, man."

"Please don't."

"Okay. I won't then."

"Great. If you, uh... do want any drugs..."

"I don’t wanna become a drug user now that I’m sad. That just doesn't seem very-- that just seems very toxic. That just doesn’t seem like the right way to go."

Oh thank God, he already feels guilty enough feeding one fourteen-year-old's drug addiction. "Seems like a smart idea. Okay, so when you're sad, what do you turn to?"

"XXXTENTACION."

"Serious answer this time."

"...Okay." He rummages around in his backpack and hands Alex some folded up paper. "This is the first page, do not go to page two, I haven't finished it."

"I'm gonna go to page two."

The first page:

Tommys Book

how 2 sex 3

THE MONOPOLY!

 

 

Virgin Beware!!!!!!

and the second page:

Sex is like God sex is like God but God is

"I haven't finished."

"WHAT. Tommy. What does this mean."

"Yeah, obviously, I'm just a failure and should kill myself."

"Fine, it's an excellent book. Stop it, Tommy."

"Fine. --There are some agglos over there if you want them."

"Nah, I'll leave them alone."

"More for me."

"So, what, you need to... become close to God?"

"I don’t know what I need to do, but I know that… that whatever happens, I’m not gonna be here forever. I have no idea how long I’ve got left, but I'm--I'm getting fucking raggedy, look at me, man. I'm losing... I just... I don't know, maybe this whole--maybe I was never going to survive the scholomance. Maybe this was just meant to be."

"Come on, man, you can't just give up!"

"Is it-- is it worth it, Alex?"

"Yes! People--people care about you, Tommy! You can't just, fucking, pull the same shit as Wilbur on us!"

"Don't fucking--you only came today because Clay asked you to. I'm--I'm happy you came and saw me, I am, but don't--you don't have to fucking, rub it in my face.

Look, it doesn't matter anymore. Just... Give me some time alone, okay?"

"...Okay."

On impulse, he takes his rosary out of his pocket--a shitty one with knots for beads and a bit of wire bent into a cross--and presses it in Tommy's hand before leaving.