He gets a phone call the next time there's information from the dean, of course. They called Annie first, cleverly enough, and she's already on her way.

How clever of them. Well, no point in waiting - Aldaras heads off to learn whatever new fact about the necklace has been discovered.

Aldaras stares. "... I'd like to request you return the necklace, please, I'm going to need it really soon."

"Time to revise your ad?" Annie says.

"Time to revise my ad," he agrees. "And then go - be heroic."

"I'll try to be near the phone so you can call me when you've found somebody and not delay more than you have to," says Annie.

The man blanches when Aldaras addresses him and says, "I'm t- you'll never succeed, the knife will get her just like it got your sister, and you're too useless to do anything about it -"

Aldaras flinches.

"- I am so fucking sorry I'm touched it's this god damn cup I didn't even think Grandma liked it that much I don't think it makes me say true things I don't even know who you are -"

"Oh my god I'm sure whoever she is she'll be fine - please, I'm so sorry, the cup made me, I don't think it's true."

The man winces. "I didn't even think Grandma liked the fucking thing but yes it seems to be, I just - first time I see somebody whatever makes them want to crack my skull open comes out of my mouth, I tried gagging myself but - I'm so sorry!"

"I'm giving the fucking thing to the university, I don't even want to see it again but maybe they can tell me what the upside's supposed to be - which way is -?"

"That way," he says, pointing. "I - good luck."

"Thanks. I'm so sorry. I'm sure whoever she is will be fine and I'm sorry about your sister and - and I'll just go." He scurries off.

Aldaras tries very hard not to look expectant or too hopeful or - something. It doesn't quite work.

"What's it take to trigger the necklace side effect exactly?" asks the fellow when he's read the whole thing.

"Mine was by sight. It could also be through something else, but that was mine and I'm still the only one touched by it. And I'm not willing to wait for a week or two to find out from the specifics from the Dean."

"But if I go live in a cabin in the forest and use my share of bounty money to get groceries left on the porch I'll be fine?"

"Probably. And it's - symmetrical, apparently, so you won't fall in love with me for sure. So I could deliver things to you in person."

"You want to go from knife-hunter to delivery boy?" snorts the man.

He shrugs. "I'm not in it for the money. It has my sister. I want her back."

"Worth asking. I'll go along if the Dean's office confirms the flyer."

"Thanks," says Aldaras, smiling a little.

"Sintre," says the man, holding out his hand. "When do we leave, what do I have to bring?"

"Aldaras," he replies, shaking the offered hand. "Nice to meet you. Sooner the better, but I'd like to see if there are any more takers before we go. I'm bringing a ton of food and water, because the necklace can uncut people and they'll be pretty hungry, but you should probably bring more. Uh - lethal weapons are a bad idea, but things to trip up a large amount of people so we can poke them once with the necklace. Nets or clubs or something."

"Have a really good walking stick," says Sintre. "If you get more than one other taker I'm dropping out, I'm in it to finance the cabin-in-woods lifestyle, not the glory."

"... Okay. You might have to worry about one of the cut being the person you fall in love with, but it seems to be very - specifically targeted. I went days without even knowing what the side-effect was, and saw hundreds of people with no effect whatsoever. But I feel I should warn you anyway."

"There shouldn't be that many of them right now, it hasn't been hitting towns."

"Yeah. I just don't want you to go in not knowing the risks."

"That's why I won't go in for less than a third of the take. I'll go pack things unless there's more to say."

"Nope. Thank you."

Off goes Sintre.

And Aldaras goes back to trying to recruit more people.

There is no luck before Sintre returns with a stuffed hiking backpack and a solid walking stick that looks like it will be suitable for kneecapping cut people.

Sintre nods. "Do you know where it was headed last?"

"I know where it was about - five days ago. I'm also a tracker, so if I get far enough away from the necklace I can probably point us in the right direction, if we don't manage to find it from there."

"Are we not bringing it along? I wasn't thinking I'd be touching it inside city limits."

"Okay. Lead the way."

Sintre proves a taciturn companion and an experienced hiker. He tromps along where Aldaras leads.

"Seems like," says Sintre.

"You should probably touch the necklace now, for safety. We might run into its radius at any time."

"Right," agrees Sintre, and he takes off one of his gloves and holds out his hand.

Sintre puts his glove back on - he doesn't want to touch the knife, necklace or no necklace - and follows.

She screams, and bursts into tears, and starts patting herself down, stopping in absolute confusion when she finds her twisted ankle in the condition it's in.

"Hey, it's okay," assures Aldaras. "We're here, I have an artifact that can uncut people." He produces a canteen and offers it to the poor woman. "You're free."

"No," she says, eyes watering again.

"It's all right," assures Aldaras, again. "Okay? You're completely immune to the knife now, it's okay, you're free."

"Where am I - how am I going to get home -"

"I'll help you get home, but first we have to help the other people who are cut and - figure out what to do with the knife. Probably encase it in concrete and throw it in the ocean."

"Thank you," says Aldaras, and he retrieves some more water and food and offers it to her. Then, off to - chase down more cut.

Sintre goes with him, staff at the ready.

It doesn't take very long for them to come across more of the cut. These are less immobile stragglers. The knife, and Aldaras's sister aren't in sight, yet.

This method has been working out reasonably well. It continues to work out reasonably well, it's not like the cut are masters of fighting.

"Okay, I'm setting that stupid - waste of perfectly good precious metal on so much fire, you have no fucking idea, it is going to be melted down into slag when I am fucking through with it."

"That's probably not going to work," sighs Aldaras, passing out the water and food supplies. It's - really not enough, considering the amount of people, but it's worth the effort. "Considering."

"Oh, you haven't fucking seen me when I really want to break something, and I really fucking want to break that gaudy-ass piece of badly stylized and cheaply painted bird shit."

Meanwhile, a couple of the ex-cut have fallen into each other's arms and are snuggling each other and petting one another and sound very confused about why they are doing that.

"Hold that thought," says Aldaras to his sister. "Um. Announcement to - everyone. The necklace that was responsible for uncutting you has the side effect of making you fall instantly in love with another compatible person." Pause. "It's also symmetrical."

"Also, it seems that the knife's side effect is um - inability to feel pain. So uh, you should - probably check yourselves for injuries."

"And do what about them?" somebody mutters.

"... Bandage them, don't do anything with broken bones, ask a doctor to check you out when you get home."

"I brought some," says Aldaras, "but I was focusing on carrying food and water."

"You can probably check if it's at a weird angle or something. Or if you have trouble doing things with the body part." Pause. "Also, who wants to brainstorm ideas for how to destroy the knife? My vote goes to 'throw it into a fucking volcano.'"

"I brought dry cement, if there's water to spare to mix it up," says Sintre.

"We can probably borrow a boat and take it out to the deep ocean and dump it after encasing it in concrete."

"Or throw it at a nest of rabid fucking badgers or something," mutters Zevaia. "Or maybe we can launch it into the sun..."

"- Also, there are a few people who had trouble walking, if anyone would like to help, that would be great," says an Aldaras who is only slightly overwhelmed.

"Where's civilization?" wonders someone vaguely.

"I have a map, there's a town to the east and we're about four days from Drofnfjord."

"I'm going to go ahead and cement the knife now," Sintre says, "if there's no objection."

"... I can't piss on it first, can I."

"No," sighs Aldaras. "Please don't. Thank you, Sintre, that seems best."

Sintre has a pair of tongs, too, not fully trusting his gloves. He mixes up his cement, and picks up the knife, and embeds it therein.

Meanwhile, Aldaras retrieves all immobile cut and finds them ways to - actually move. Mostly by finding other people to help them.

They prop each other up and start making their way towards the nearest town. The ones who were making out earlier hold hands and gaze at each other.

"Sure, I'll wait right here," Sintre says, sitting down.

"Salutations?"

"Salutations, it's me - we did it, cut people are now uncut and -" Pause. His voice breaks just a little, and becomes somewhat gooey. "I missed you very much."

"Oh thank goodness - is your sister okay - what's going to happen to the knife - when do you think you'll be back?"

"She's fine, the knife's already in cement and we're trying to figure out what to do with it, and - I don't know yet."

"Okay. Well, I'll see you when you get back. Anything else I need to know?"

"I - there were two uncut people who did the - love thing. They nearly immediately started cuddling and then making out shortly after. I am kind of conflicted about it in general."

"Well - did they seem happy?"

"Yes," he says, carefully.

"So - that's good, I guess."

"I - yeah."

"I'm fine. I'm so glad you got the knife," she sighs. "Do you want me to tell the department for you? They might be in a good position to get a path cleared between you and someplace you can get a boat, so you don't have to carry it past people who aren't protected and will try to get at it even while it's wrapped up."

"That'd be great, there's also some injured uncut, and - they don't feel any sort of pain. The department should probably know that, and - honestly I should go find doctors or something to look at them all."

"If there's nothing else you have to tell me don't let me keep you."

"I'm not busy," she says. "But you're busy. It's up to you what ratio of hanging out on the phone versus, I don't know, attending the hasty wedding of the happy couple or calling the bounty posters who now owe you money or whatever, you should be doing."

"I - well, yes. I should probably be doing those sorts of things." Pause. "... I missed you a lot, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she assures him. "Why wouldn't I be fine?"

"I - this is really stupid, but there was a - person earlier, who touched a new artifact and it made him say something kind of horrific and there was no reasonable way he could have known it. It was sort of scary, I'm - glad you're okay."

"Basically that everything with the knife was going to go horrifically wrong and that I was a failure and wouldn't be able to either save my sister, or keep you from -" He winces, making an audible little pained sound. "- being cut."

"Yeah," he says. "So it was probably just - saying something another person finds really horrible when you first meet them, or - something. I'm glad you're okay."

"Yeah. Wow, that poor guy, he's going to have a tough time making friends, isn't he."

"Pretty much. I don't hold it against him, but it was - unpleasant."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm all right," he says, gently.

"Good." Pause. "I was worried about you, you know."

"Yeah. If you'd touched the knife after being necklaced it might still have gotten you, if order of operations matters."

"It - might have. But I'm all right." Pause. "I'm sorry for worrying you."

"It's okay. I just thought you might have wanted to know."

"You're welcome."

"I'll be back at Drofnfjord soon," he assures, in the same voice. He can't wait to see her again.

"Yeah, I'm..." He sees the happy couple. "... Looking forward to it. Sorry, the - couple I mentioned earlier are now engaged, that's a bit..."

"Better than being dead in the woods somewhere."

"I mean, they're both necklaced, it doesn't really surprise me."

"Well. Yes."

Annie sighs.

"I have really complicated feelings about it," admits Aldaras.

"Yes please."

"Okay, then - it's - I really want that," he admits, desperately. "And I know I shouldn't, and I know it's the freaky non consenting magic talking and I'm not going to - to -" He trails off, searching for the right words. "If you asked me to marry you I would say yes immediately and then after I'd make sure that you weren't - going crazy or under the effects of anything terrible and that you didn't feel like you had to out of obligation rather than an actual desire to. And that's - I'm - I'm jealous and also worried for them but I want them to be happy and wish there were a better option but it's still better than being cut, and, and I don't even know, I'm just - it's really hard to explain but I'm trying."

"I'm trying to be responsible and reasonable," says Aldaras. "I - don't think I always manage it, but I'm genuinely trying. Tell me, when I screw it up?"

"Will do. If there's one thing I can be relied on to do it's knowing what I want."

"Good. I -" Pause. "I love you. I've been trying not to make it awkward by saying it, but I do."

"It's okay, Aldaras."

"Okay, good. I - realized after that in normal society terms there's a bit of an expectation behind it or - I didn't want you to feel like that, I didn't even realize until after."

"I understand. Is there even a point to me saying you can just skip past awkward apologizing for various consequences of being necklaced till I say otherwise?"

"I'll probably do it anyway," he snorts. "Sorry, it's - I'm not - I don't think I'm the sort of person that's good at being magically in love."

"Well, maybe you'll improve with practice."

"Maybe. That'll be the day, huh?"

"I suppose. How's your sister, does she want to ask me questions like your dad did?"

"She's okay, she's not here right now, I think she's trying to find something to try and destroy the knife with. She wanted to throw it into a volcano earlier. And then throw it to rabid badgers or something."

"I don't see how the badgers would help."

"Neither do I, I think she was just ranting at it, really."

"The volcano would also be a problem, if it wound up not melting and it was close enough to someplace habitable to call people."

"A bit. I wasn't going to shoot her down, though, it seemed like she needed to rant."

"Yeah."

"I'm glad she's okay. Really, really glad."

"Me too."

"Do you want me to try and find her so you can talk to her, or wait until we're in Drofnfjord and meet her properly...?"

"I don't have a strong preference. If she wants to talk to me now I'm free."

"Mmm. Problem is that I don't know where she actually is."

"I definitely can't help you with that from here."

"No? Aw, I thought you'd be psychic."

"Sorry."

"It's okay, I forgive you."

"Oh, good. I was so concerned there for a second."

"Were you? Well, I'm very glad I could relieve you of that torment."

"It was agonizing. The inadequacy! The pathos! The non-psychicness!"

"You are never inadequate. Ever."

"I'm aware you think so."

"I even have legitimate reasons now instead of just the creepy love necklace," says Aldaras, smugly.

"I'm sure."

"They're even not induced by aforementioned creepy love necklace. I think."

"How can you tell?"

"Because they are genuinely qualities that I like in a person and if I mentally dissociate them with you I still like the qualities." Pause. "That's actually a thing I should do systematically, that is really useful to have."

"Dissociate qualities from people or from me specifically?"

"From you, specifically, because due to creepy love necklace magic everything associated with you is amazing and perfect."

"Right. Do I have any qualities you don't li- sorry."

"It's okay. Accidentally asking questions actually doesn't upset me in the slightest, I'm - mad at the tracker thing instead of you. Hmmm." He stops to think. "It did kind of bother me when you were acting like I was acting like an idiotic child, when I decided to go with the torturous guilt trip over interrupting your class. You're allowed to disagree with me, but you're not irresponsible when I consciously decide that I want something more than I want to not be tortured. And I sort of felt like you didn't respect that."

"Yeah," he says. "But I thought it was something you would like to know."

"Yeah."

"I'm not likely to do something similar without a better reason, though," he assures. "A really good one, in fact. So."

"Good."

"And I'm also genuinely sorry for distressing you."

"Well, I'm fine now."

"I'm glad."

"What's the phone number you're calling from? Will you hang around it for long enough that the department can reach you there if I go tell them what's going on?"

Aldaras searches for the phone number, finds it, and rattles it off. "I can hang around here so the department can reach me. Should I?"

"Only if they ought to be able to call you that way. I really don't know what's going to happen next, I just vaguely imagine some of it might look like calling you to give you directions through a cleared area to an unattended boat."

"Fair. All right, I'll hang around."

Sintre's there, where they left him. He wraps up the knife in supplied plastic and off they go. They don't see anybody on the way. He offers to drive the boat.

"Yeah," says Sintre, dusting off his hands as he watches the knife sink in the murky ocean. "I have the place in the woods already, just didn't have a way to support the lifestyle without taking up eating questionable mushrooms and chopping my own firewood." He describes the location.

"Okay, I'll drop it off."

That's all Sintre has to say for the duration of the trip back to shore.

"So," says Zevaia, flopping on the couch in their apartment when they get home, "you have zero excuse to skimp on a present for me next New Summer's Day. I expect something snazzy."

"That's what you want to talk about," snorts Aldaras. "Really?"

"Yup, really. Get me something awesome, embrace your creativity and shit. You have a fuck ton of money to burn, go burn it. On me."

"But think of all of the cool stuff I'd have!"

"Pretty much." Zevaia eyes him. "Hey, dork."

"Mm?" He looks up from his longing phone contemplation.

"The phone is not going to eat you, promise. Go call the - you never actually mentioned, is your creepy love necklace lover a man or a woman, or is it secretly a turnip that you happen to be in love with? Whatever, go call him, her, it, or them."

Aldaras snorts. "She is not a turnip. Also, not my lover." (He tries very hard not to look dejected about this fact. It only sort of works.) "Regardless. If you're not fine with me inviting her over, or if you want some time alone after - everything, I'll give it to you. Okay?"

"Yup, got it. Cool, thanks. Now stop eyefucking the phone and call her, if that keeps going on any longer I'll start selling tickets to a phone and brother peep show."

"Salutations?"

"Yeah, I figured. You're set for life, lucky you."

"Lucky me," he agrees, softly. "I - um. Do you want to come over, or - if you're busy it's completely fine if you don't, or - if you don't want to, that's fine too."

"I can come over, but if I'm going to make the trip I'll probably bring some homework."

"That's okay. My sister's here - we actually share the apartment, I don't know if it's a factor of whether you want to come over or not...?"

"Does she want to meet me?"

Aldaras glances at Zevaia. "... Do you want to meet Annie?" he asks, directly.

"No," says Zevaia, in a deadpan. "I want to never ever meet the person you are stuck in eternal love forever with. You'll have to go to some back alleys or an inn or something if you want to ever fuck her, 'cause you can't do that shit here, I'm a huge fucking prude."

"Yes," he snorts.

"Okay, I'll be there in like - twenty minutes?"

"Hi." And: "...You can hug me if you want."

Zevaia surveys this from her spot on the couch. So far, so good. She's a little bothered by the necklace making Aldaras fall in love without his permission, but if he seems happy after she's willing to let it slide.

"I think at this point you can have standing hug permission," says Annie, hugging him back. "Hi, you must be Zevaia. I'm Annabelline, Annie's fine."

"Really? Thank you - uh. Let me know if I accidentally overstep bounds."

Zevaia waves. "Yup, Zevaia. Vai's fine for me. Hey! Nice to meet you, I am being very understanding about this entire situation. Ald, you continue to have zero excuse to not get me a kickass present when you inevitably are socially obligated to get me a thing."

Aldaras snorts. "Your priorities continue to shock and amaze me."

"Hey, I like having nice shit. You have methods to get nice shit. Therefore, you should get me nice shit."

"I will let you know," Annie assures Aldaras. "...Are you guys actually related, I don't think you could have possibly come across as less like Aldaras in the amount of time available without shooting at me or something."

"You would not believe how much we get that. It's really funny."

"We're actually related. Twins, remember?"

"You could have been using 'twins' in some - I don't know, metaphorical sense. Huh."

"We have fuck all idea of how it happened, too," shrugs Zevaia. "I blame Mom."

"I certainly couldn't tell you." Annie is done standing up; she unhugs and finds a chair and puts her bag down.

"Aw, but if you're Aldaras's perfect person according to a piece of jewelry, you should know all of everything! And also be a magic space princess."

"It's not my fault that you show zero interest in anyone. I thought you were like - a mushroom! Where you reproduce asexually and if I look away for long enough there are two of you and no one has any idea how it happened. Except scientists and shit, I guess."

"If there are two of you by fungal or other mechanisms, this is a good time to warn me," Annie says. "Anyway, I'm not a bit magic, have never visited space, and am not a princess."

"There are not two of me, not to worry. I sincerely doubt that there ever will be. Being magic, visiting space, or being a princess are not requirements for love," says Aldaras dryly. "Neither is knowing all of everything."

"Good, 'cause I don't know all of everything, either, much as I would like to."

"... Waaait. Wait. Do you want to go on a huge crusade to fix the world?"

"I don't have an angle yet, I'm more likely to end up in cancer research or something, but it would sure be nice if I had the wherewithal."

"Nevermind on the space princess or turnip thing. Carry on, you'll be fine."

"How exactly did I come to be likened to a turnip?"

"Oh, I was being flippant and joked about it, we're just sort of sticking on the same vein because it's funny."

"Okay then. I'm also not a turnip."

"You have no unwanted turnip-like qualities," defends Aldaras. "You might technically have some turnip-like qualities, because literally anything can be compared to anything else, but you are not a turnip, or anywhere close to being one."

"You don't think I'm looking a little leafy? Wouldn't I make nice soup?"

"You don't look leafy at all. Also I have no comment on your ability to cook soup, I've never actually tried your cooking, please don't become soup, I would be heartbroken. Whether or not you would actually be nice in soup form."

"I can cook a little, but I'm not nearly magical enough to successfully soupify myself."

"Good, I like you how you are."

"I am aware."

"I do try to be transparent with you," says Aldaras, affectionately.

"Aww," snarks Zevaia. "I can hear the wedding bells already. Want me to go grab you two some condoms? I'll even shoo from the apartment, be all helpful and shit."

"I'm basically just being obnoxious? It's not a huge deal?"

"...Noted. I, uh, probably could have guessed."

"Yeah. Damn tracking," sighs Aldaras. "If it helps, I'd make sure you were sure about it and had good reasons for wanting to. But."

"So not exactly a heartbeat, more of an interrogation."

"Yes. Probably a pretty fast one, though."

"Well, now I know. Hug permission stands."

Awww.

"I'm sorry about my sister," he mumbles.

"You are not responsible for her."

"I know. But still."

"Weird apology accepted."

"Thank you. Weird apologies are the best kind, didn't you know?"

"I didn't, actually!"

"They are. Because - I don't know why. Reasons, I suppose."

"Ooh, reasons."

"Yup. Don't ask me to explain them, they're too weird."

"All right. I will just sit here, ignorant," she teases.

"My tracker magic has not deemed it important enough information that you need to know right now. Sorry."

"I will bow to its judgment. See? I am not even asking."

"Awww, you're the best keeper."

"I try."