"Hmm?" she asks, looking up at him.

"Not especially busy, what do you need?"

"I er. Don't technically need anything -" Fidget, fidget.

"What do you want, then?"

Mmmkiss! Sylvi is only a little surprised.

Sylvi is indeed showing all the signs of being someone who wants to kiss him. And of having married him three times now, albeit remembering only a fraction of the involved kissing.

Hurray! All of those are good things. As are kisses. Mmmmkisses.

"Technically," he corrects, "I don't need them. Just - want them. A lot."

"Ooh, a lot." She stands up so the angle's less awkward and kisses him again.

He makes a little sound in his throat, and happily goes back to kissing her. Turns out - practice from past lives is useful in this sort of situation.

"I feel like the pillow has been silly for a long time now," snorts Avedan. "And. I'm - nnnot sure?"

"We can dispense with the pillow. And wait for you to be sure, elsewise."

"Okay." Kiss. "Thank you."

"I'm so magnanimous. No self-interest here, not me."

"Not even a little? Aw, I'm disappointed."

"I am one hundred percent unadulterated altrusim."

"Are you? That sounds dangerous, how do you fit it all in there?"

"Lots of surface area. Like Charp."

"I see. That makes sense."

"Of course. Kiss me some more."

"It's not bad theory, is it? My friend recommended it."

"It's not bad, just - not helpful if you would like to do the theories it mentions. It's excellent if you're looking to see if you want to get into golem creation before you actually do."

"Oh. I have a project in mind, just - well, are you using the better one right now?"

"Not right now, no, but I'm likely to need it later. But, good news, I am open to the mystical concept of 'sharing.'"

She giggles. "All right, I won't walk off with it, then. Thanks." She takes the book and opens up her notebook, which is full of instructional diagrams and other notes.

"I skimmed it, so - jog my memory, what's in chapter four?"

"Golem ability to learn from experience."

"Ah - yes, I remember that chapter. What do you need?"

"I need a way for golems of the same make to share information that they acquire like that with each other."

"Ooh. Thanks." She accepts the book. "Do you have a project too or are you just academically inclined?"

"You're welcome. Project, if yours turns out to be about medicine-delivering self-cleaning golems, you're allowed to just crib entirely from my notes if you promise to help."

"Mine's not that, but that sounds awesome."

Aly hesitates. "I don't really - I'm worried that it could become very political. I'm planning to stay anonymous."

"I'll leave it alone if you'd like me to," agrees the stranger. "I understand."

"Maybe once I know you a little better," she says lightly.

"Thank you. Well, hello, I'm Aydanci."

"Aly. Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you, too. Feel free to ask if you have questions about something. I don't guarantee that I'll know the answer, but it couldn't hurt to ask."

"Thanks. You're awfully helpful to random strangers with secret golem projects, aren't you?"

"Well, you're likely to figure out whatever you need for your secret golem project anyway, it might just take longer, and if I'm helpful and it turns out that your secret golem project is 'construct an army to take over the world' I have a much better chance of convincing you to not do that," says Aydanci lightly.

Aly giggles. "I'm not trying to take over the world with a golem army. If I were going to take over the world I'd prefer nonviolent means."

"That narrows it down a bit. Though, if it's 'construct a series of mind-control golems and take over the world' I will also try very hard to convince you to not do that, either. I do hope you're not heartbroken."

"Mind-control g-? How would that even...? I don't think that works, which is good, because if I thought that was possible I would never have a good night's sleep again."

"I'm pretty sure that doesn't work at all. And yes, that would be awful."

"So no, that's not my secret golem project either, you're not even close."

"Good, I'm glad, if I were close I would be extremely worried."

"And you'd send your little medical golems after me?" she teases.

"Yes. Yes I would. Beware, your injuries would soon be covered in gauze, and you'd given helpful medicine for any sicknesses you have. Fear me and my medical golems of terror."

Aly laughs again. "And I could be imprisoned for my mind-control crimes - I mean, quarantined - in the comfort of my own home and therefore have much less temptation to break quarantine and infect people with my sinister ideals, since little self-cleaning golems would bring me groceries through the window?"

"Mhmm. And local authorities could be informed of the quarantine and warned that no other actions are necessary."

"How -" She shudders dramatically. "Humane. I'll have to be very sure that you don't find out what I'm really up to."

"Darn. And my sales pitch was so great, too. 'I'll help with whatever this is if you don't tell me, but if you do there's a chance I might try to convince you not to do it if it's particularly nasty, thus giving you an incentive to not tell me whatever it is.'"

"You're an immensely skilled negotiator. I'm just too stubborn, apparently."

"You are. Alas. That's okay, I try not to be judgmental. You can be stubborn."

"I can? Oh joy. Thank you ever so. Kind sir. I will treasure this moment forever."

"I'm glad, I'm sure no one ever told you that it's perfectly all right to have a personality. Please, take a minute, it's all right."

"I was badly failed by my creche and teachers."

"You poor soul. Would you like me to say it again? Would that help?"

"It might take up truly unreasonable amounts of your time to really get through to me. I can't impose like that. You have little medical golems to invent."

"That's very nice of you. Thank you. But it's really rather easy to say, 'You're allowed to have a personality. Along with preferences about things.'"

"Gosh! Preferences, too? Entire vistas of possibility open up to me."

"They do, I'm quite disappointed that no one's told you before, they're somewhat important."

"I have fallen through the cracks in the system."

"You have. But it's all right. I'm here. In my fortress of books."

"It's quite a fortress. How far along in your project are you?"

"Researching, still, but I've almost got it entirely planned out."

"Cool. I don't have a prototype yet - well, I have the chassis, but not instructions."

Aydanci nods. "I can probably help with instructions, but." He motions to his own books for his project, then adds wryly, "And also, I have no idea what your instructions are. Something of a damper on helping write them."

"What a pity 'do whatever Aly has in mind for you' isn't a legitimate instruction. It'd speed things up tremendously."

"Just a bit," snickers Aydanci. "But, that would make them mind readers, and that would have all sorts of horrible effects that we've already gone over. So maybe it's worth it."

"Well, it would only matter if it was a smart golem. I wouldn't mind a really dumb one being able to figure out what I wanted of it. But the underlying principle would probably adapt to other situations."

He nods. "Dumb golems being able to do it would be fine. Just not the smart ones."

"And as far as I know there's nothing dumb golems can do that more sophisticated ones can't. So better all around if they can't mindread."

"Yeah. If annoying because it makes things a bit more difficult in the short term."

"But in thirty years when we have conducted our lives in the total absence of sinister mindreading golems," she says, "we'll be glad of it."

"Yes. Yes we will. Actually, I'm glad of it now."

"So'm I," she grins.

Having successfully waited in her hotel room for a few days, Lu turns up at Kidan's hotel room, a notebook under one arm, fretful.

"R-really? That's - thank you."

"It's all right, I - understand."

"But I can show you where the cache is and reintroduce you to Charp and -" She shrugs, looks at her feet. "Then you can do whatever you want, I guess."

Kidan swallows. "I. Yes, thanks."

"Um, I approve very much of your project," she adds. "If you need help with it or -" She coughs and breaks eye contact again. "...So when do you want to leave? And do you have your own transport or do you want to ride my zebra?"

"My own transport, uh - in less than a week we can leave?"

"Okay. Um, should I go away again and come back in a few more days?"

"You can stay, it's all right."

"Okay." She fidgets. "Um, I can tell you almost as much as Charp can, I've read a lot of my past notes. If you have questions. And you'll believe answers that come from me instead of Charp."

"... Sure, questions. Uh. What was I like in my - past life?"

"He - I don't know how much you remember or from when, I'll just sort of - you were big into public health, before you even met Aly but especially after she died." Lu shudders a little. "Uh, and - sarcastic but terrible at lying - and you were a servantmaker, are you still? I am again, three for three now - um - and you were - he was -" She wrings her hands. "We were -" She stops.

"I know. That's why you're so glad to see me now."

"I dreamed you dying not too long ago," she murmurs.

"... I'm sorry."

"Aydanci lived to be eighty-eight, that's not too bad. Just - yeah."

He nods.

"But - you reincarnate too. So - that's good. Kib was -" She shakes her head again. "Devastated."

"Was he?" murmurs Kidan. "I - I'm sorry."

"Of course he was," she murmurs. "But it wasn't your fault."

"No. But - still."

"But you're alive. At least you're alive."

"I am, yeah."

"That's good." She blushes and looks away again. "I'm glad you're alive. Even if I totally botched finding you."

"You didn't actually botch finding me. Just the. Introduction, a bit."

"By finding you I meant the part where I - indicated to you that you had been found. Not the part where a parrot landed on you."

"Oh. Well."

"It's okay," he says, in a - tone of voice that's probably very familiar. Comforting and soft. "Really. I'm not - writing you or anything off, it was just a bit. I was caught off guard."

"Thanks," she says weakly. "Uh. Anything else you want to know?"

"... What do you do?"

"Servantmaking, again, theoretical instructional research - I mean, I can make pets and puppets and I've actually built golems and programmed shines in the course of theorem-proving but it's mostly theory."

He nods. "That's interesting. Thanks."

"You're welcome. I - bet the slavery thing takes up most of your time?"

"A - bit, yeah. So my servant education's a bit lacking."

"Well - that's okay, Charp will recognize you regardless, and it talks. And you'll remember what Aydanci knew if you wait long enough anyway."

"Yeah, that'll be nice. Problem is, I've caught a lot of the later stuff that doesn't make sense without a more basic education."

"I can fill you in," she says. "If you want."

"Sure. That'd be nice."

"Okay. Um, now or later?"

"I - think it would take a while?"

"Yeah, but - do you want to start now?"

"Sure."

"Okay. How basic do you want me to start?"

"Reasonably basic, please."

"So there's pets and puppets and automata and golems and shines - shades are basically a kind of shine. If you've got anything with moving parts around I can show you how to turn it into a puppet as a start, otherwise I can make you a shine to play with."

"Shine sounds fun."

"Okay." She finds a patch of light and peels it off for him. "Do you know how to take it as a puppet or should I start there?"

"I know how to take it as a puppet," he affirms.

"Okay, go ahead and do that. Predictably, I have paper, and this is a nice big shine, so I can write it some instructions longhand and they'll work just fine." She flips to a fresh notebook page and writes a short program that will fit within the shine's area, and walks him through each line in it, and then puts the program down where he can move the shine onto it.

"You're welcome. I like shines. I had a bunch of colored ones on the ceiling in a pattern in my room growing up. Left them for the next kid when I moved out, though."

"That's extremely cute."

Lu ducks her head and smiles. "Thanks."

"You're welcome."

"Anyway - unlike golems, which you can't puppet again once you start them, you can turn a shine back into a puppet any time, if it's yours or the person who made it lets you. So you can stop it from going around in a circle whenever, but it'll remember this program and you can nudge it back into it until it gets a new program."

"That's useful," muses Kidan.

"Yeah. So if you have them moving around in a pattern, you can pause them and then start them again without having to reprogram them. Try it."

He does. Obligingly, the shine stops.

"And starting it back up is almost like the opposite of taking it as a puppet."

"Is it? Then..." He looks at the shine with a look of concentration, and - it goes back to going in circles.

Lu applauds.

"You're welcome. So the most basic set of shine commands you can put in a program are -" She writes in every command that appears in her little program, and a few more, and goes down the list with him.

"Oh honey," she murmurs, softly, trying not to move her jaw too much. "Go back to sleep."

"I think we both know that's a losing battle," he replies, almost wryly, if it wasn't for his eyes. He's cried before, but hasn't recently, mostly through willpower.

"I'm sorry," he whispers. "I'm - so sorry, I love you..."

"There's still - some chance. I - love, love you should have realized by now that I'm a - a selfish bastard and... and... I love you. I love you so much..."

"Love you," she sighs. Neither of her hands is in great shape, but the bandages are fresh enough, and the wrist nearer him is happily free of lesions; she can bend her hand to touch his arm.

"There could be a chance," he says, desperately. "Some - some small..."

"'M not. Getting. Better."

"Please."

"Breathing," she mutters. "'S all I can do."

"I - I know. Just - keep doing it. Because I'm selfish and I want you to stay, I want you to live forever, or - or - no, no, fuck it, I want you to live forever, period, much as I hate to sound like a petulant child, you're not allowed to die..."

"I can't - do - anything. Not just the - hurting."

"Love. You're not just - you're brilliant, you're wonderful, you're - you make the world better by existing. It's not the - you've done great things, my dear, you're - don't remove yourself from it because right this second you are bedridden."

"Love you."

"And I, you. Always."

It was. Aydanci just - hopes that means there's improvement, even if she doesn't feel it.

Snuggle. Sylvi knows better than to expect overwhelming coherence from him in the middle of the night.

"S'fine, you needed me," he mumbles, nuzzling a little.

"S'fine," he repeats. Pause. "... The death wasn' - the - you came back. Eventually."

"Not without leaving you grieving for eighteen years."

"You came back," he repeats. "'nd I made the pox go 'way. Sucked, but - s'not your fault."

"I haven't dreamed her dying yet but - I decided to start breathing again when you asked me - and I still don't know if I decided not to, the last time."

"You were in pain."

"And I wasn't getting better, I know, I know, but I did want to stay for you."

"Yes. Yes we are."

That's okay. Sylvi's well on her way back to sleep too. She is all snuggled. Nightmares might find themselves slightly impeded by this fact.

Sylvi wakes up nice and warm and snuggled and not in the least inclined to get up right away.

That is Avedan's default. The - not getting up right away part, anyway. So Sylvi can be snuggled for a while!

Charp peeps into the room, sees open eyes, and goes to start on breakfast.

"... You had a nightmare...?" he wonders.

"Yeah. You don't remember? One of Aly's close calls. Not her death yet, still. Maybe I can skip it. Lu never caught up with all the dreams..."

"It would be slightly awkward to take back. I meant it too. It's sort of weird what with the reincarnation though, isn't it?"

"A little. We're special cases," snorts Avedan.

"How much I feel like my past lives seems to vary from - minute to minute. Right after waking up it's all really fresh, and then it settles into being decades ago, fuzzier than - than things that happened the most recent time I was six. But if I'm reading my old notes or every now and then if something familiar that I haven't been exposed to much yet this time around pops up, all of a sudden I'm one of them again for a moment."

"I - don't quite see them as me, in most cases? Sometimes I do. But it's more - they are people with my ability to judge and similar - if not the same - values, so I can trust what they say, or write, but it's somewhat harder to just - be them."

"I think in my case being them is sort of a - collective defense mechanism. If we're all one person it's okay that we get dream memories of other sub-parts of the person that we are."

"Oh. That - makes sense. I think."

"Does it? It sounds silly when I say it out loud, but it's been working, so I don't wind up shaking my fist at Next Time Around Me and don't feel like I'm a psychic parasite on my past lives."

"It sort of does. I'm not worried about Next Time Around Me having my thoughts, because - there's really nothing they could do with them that could affect me? And it would be someone that's essentially me, just - with a different life, so it's not like they're going to do anything nefarious with any of it anyway. There's a privacy issue, and it does kind of bug me that I get all of the... Er, private moments, but it's annoying and a bit embarrassing, not life changing."

"The privacy issue would bother me enormously if I didn't think of all of me as a person with some amnesia issues and a recurrent de-aging problem. I don't want other people to read my mind, not even if I'm not technically around to object."

Avedan nods. "Right. That I understand."

Snuggle. "We've probably had this conversation before, haven't we."

"Probably, but I don't remember having it."

"Yeah, me either. Yet. In a few hundred years we are going to have, like, the All Philosophical Discussions About Continuity And Reincarnation Dreams Night. It will be tedious."

Kiss!

Avedan snickers, and then rubs at his eyes and sloooowly follows. Charp made tea, didn't he? Avedan requires it.

Charp made tea! And biscuits and sausages.

"You're welcome, sir."