deafrainbow joined the game.

Xe is in a... forest? It's a weird forest. Lots of... manmade stuff. Stone and wood and something red and on fire. They're sort of walls, or wall-adjacent, but you can get out of them pretty easily.

Whatever its notifications settings are for discord, it's no longer in the servers it was previously, and it is in a new server, where it's receiving messages. There's only one text channel, #general; there are 12 voice channels, from VC1 to VC12.

<Quackity> SUP
<RanbooLive> o/

Don't like that! Don't like that at all!

<deafrainbow> hi, quackity

<deafrainbow> o/

It doesn't want to ask about the other person using its name, but also it does. There are other, smaller questions to ask first.

<deafrainbow> I don't remember joining this server, sorry, is it for anything in particular?

<Ph1LzA> o/
<Ph1LzA> Dream SMP
<Ph1LzA> you lost?

Dreams?

<deafrainbow> Yeah, I'm in the woods somewhere, or something, I made a mistake with teleportation

<deafrainbow> And the GPS on my phone isn't working

She could just start walking in hopes she'll find a place with better GPS access. Is there a road or path she can follow towards something more citylike?

Not within the sort-of-walls. Outside the walls, there's a purple portal in the distance? And if they walk or teleport towards it, there's a path.

<Ph1LzA> GPS?

It will teleport towards the portal then! And follow the path. Always good to have a task to do

<deafrainbow> ? Yes, for maps and things?

<deafrainbow> Phil I know you're old but I've seen you use GPS before 

Although speaking of GPS they could probably text Techno, if Phil's in this server she probably is too. They will check.

<Ph1LzA> uh huh
<Ph1LzA> who are you?

Techno's in the server! A full list of server members:

Online - 19

Antfrost
awesamdude
BadBoyHalo
CaptainPuffy
deafrainbow
FoolishG
hannahxxrose
HBomb94
KarlJacobs
Nihachu
Ph1LzA
Punz
Purpled
Quackity
RanbooLive
Sapnap
Skeppy
The_Eret
Technoblade

 

Offline - 13

ConnorEatsPants
Dream
DropsByPonk
GeorgeNotFound
ItsFundy
JackManifoldTV
Jschlatt
LazarCodeLazar
Slimecicle
TommyInnit
Tubbo_
Vikkstar123
WilburSoot

She knows most of these people but not all! That's a relief.

And also, right, the person with her name in their Discord tag. Probably a prank, or something.

<deafrainbow> Oh, sorry, it's Ranboo

<deafrainbow> I did see someone else with my name was here but whoever it is they're not me? 

Techno is online which means she's probably not busy, but Ranboo is too shy to interrupt her for something small. They'll DM her if this path doesn't lead anywhere good, but it's good to know she's at least available. Like a safety blanket. Similarly, she is not going to detransform even if there are no witches around.

<RanbooLive> um

<RanbooLive> pretty sure I'm me, actually

<Technoblade> can i get in on this

<Technoblade> hi I'm ranboo I'm the main character

Maybe not a joke? Xe has never met another Ranboo but it's not out of the question that someone else would also name themself that. Alternatively someone is really committing to the bit here.

<deafrainbow> Hello other Ranboo, then? I'm sorry, I didn't think anyone else had the same name 

<deafrainbow> It's like the Josh fight, we will have to duel for the right to it

<deafrainbow> Actually Techno are you busy? I'm pretty lost, if I can describe where I am do you think you can find me?

Xe has no idea how to prove their identity over text. Better to just ignore it.

<Technoblade> yeah I can do that

Technoblade! She opens a DM so as to not doxx herself to an entire server.

<deafrainbow> Thanks

<deafrainbow> I teleported during a fight and ended up somewhere much further than I've ever gone before 

<deafrainbow> I'm in the woods, near some stone and dirt walls, and a big black and purple portal. There's a path so I'm not in the middle of nowhere but I can't see the city

Hopefully that's enough.

<Technoblade> wait, you can teleport? kinda pog

<Technoblade> omw

Technoblade... does not look how it expects Techno to look.

For one thing, instead of wearing historically accurate SCA gear, she (he?) is wearing a loose white shirt, black pants, a red cape, a crown, and glowing purple armor. The armor has spikes and does not look period-accurate at all, even apart from the way it is glowing purple, although it does look pretty functional.

For another thing, instead of being a pig-themed human, they are a bipedal pig.

"Hellooooooo? New Ranboo?"

His(?) voice has the same cadence as the Technoblade she's used to, but it's significantly deeper.

Hm. Wow. Okay. Wow.

"Techno?"

How does one even bring something like this up? She only knows ways not to respond politely when someone isn't who you expect them to be.

"Um. Are you... trying something new with magic, or am I really missing something?"

"Well, I've never met you before in my life, so. Pretty sure you're missing something."

It would never have asked him(?) to pick them up if it had known this. This is mortifying.

"Oh no. Oh, this is not good. This is very bad.

I... have a friend named Technoblade? I thought you were her. She is very like you, only she is not a pig? More similar than I think is a coincidence, maybe."

She pauses, then adds, "Also, what are your pronouns?"

It should have asked that earlier but in its defense it has never spoken to a bipedal pig before, or known this was a possibility.

"Uh, he/him is pretty pog. What about you, what are your pronouns?"

"I use any, but I prefer when people use a variety."

Pause. Deep breath. The Fundamental Question.

"I know you don't know me very well, but is the other Ranboo... like me? Not in the species sense, maybe you are all pigs, although I think if anybody I know would be a pig it would be Techno, I just don't know. But are they like me?"

“Like, is he trans? I’m gonna be honest, Ranboo, I have not asked that question.”

"Oh, no, not that way!"

Mortifying! She must explain further.

"Just, more, in general? I don't know. You talk like Techno, and you look like she would look if she was, uh, a pig, and she likes to wear armor and a cape? Do you like potatoes, she loves farming potatoes, and also the library. I also know a Phil, and she knows what GPS is and this one does not and I assume they are also not the same."

Pause for thought. “Yeah, I’m sort of the potato champion, no big deal. And Phil’s old, you got that bit right. The black and white, that’s Ranboo. And the red and green. Wrong species for sure, though. —We do have humans, you’re just not one of them.”

Oh no. She had forgotten she just called a stranger old.

"That's good to know, that's good to know. Um. Sorry for just barging in here and assuming I knew people, I don't really know what to do now. I was hoping my Techno could take me home."

“Yeah I have no idea where your home is.”

"That's alright."

They'll fidget with their magical girl outfit, for lack of anything better to do.

"Do you have a hotel or something here? Someplace I could sleep, or get food?"

Technically neither of those is essential but sleeping and eating will help keep her soul gem clean, which is essential.

He hands them some food without thinking about it. “I think Tommy invited me to his hotel opening? But last I heard he was dead or something. Seems like it might get in the way of the hotel business. Not sure it’s true, though, might want to double check on that.”

She does not know a Tommy or anyone whose name sounds like Tommy. This is a relief.

"Thank you.

I'm... sorry for your loss, if he is dead. I know what it's like to not know.

Um, do you get new people here often? What do they usually do?"

“Eh, sometimes. Phil and I both already knew people when we joined, I dunno how helpful we’ll be. But I can get you set up with some stuff if you like.”

"Thank you, that would be great."

Technos: they really are the same.

"Hope you don't mind, it's a bit of a walk." He steps through the portal.

"That's fine."

She is going to follow him, but skeptically.

"What are these? I've never seen anything like it before."

Techno taps lightly on the obsidian. "Nether portal." The nether: is very red. Lots of fire, lots of lava, lots of a red rock she hasn't seen before. The path Techno's following is all familiar stone, though.

Xe is going to poke at xer soul gem a bit. Xe doesn't sense a witch, but this seems very... labyrinth-like. Also very dangerous.

This seems straightforwardly magic, though, which is interesting. She's heard of girls being able to make their own labyrinths as their personal magic, but none that just anyone can casually enter.

"Is this... a pocket dimension? Are portals like that stable?"

"Yeah, it's stable. You've never been to the nether before?"

"No, we just have one, where I'm from we only have one dimension. Just Earth.

... Is this Earth? Kinda cringe to not know what planet you're on, I guess. "

Are labyrinths alternate dimensions? Who knows.The nether is loud enough, and Techno's mouth not-human-enough (how does he talk without lips?) that she's having kind of a lot of trouble understanding him. She is not going to try to explain labyrinths in these sorts of conditions.

"As far as I know, nope."

Eventually they come to another portal! This one drops them in a snow-covered landscape methodically lit up with a grid of torches. There's a house in the distance, which Techno is heading towards.

Snow! They rarely get to see snow. They are going to scoop some up and make a snowball, not to throw but just to Hold.

Maybe two snowballs.

Other than that they will just keep following Techno.

Techno observes the Snowball Holding with some amusement. To the house!

(The house: is really, really loud. There are so many animals, some of which it recognizes--dogs, foxes, a polar bear--and some of which definitely do not exist on Earth.)

Back at the house is a man in his mid-thirties with chin-length blond hair and badly damaged black wings, dressed in what she may or may not recognize as Kisuke Urahara cosplay. He greets Techno with a warm "Hey mate." Yep, that's Phil.

"Hey Phil. Just getting Ranboo no. 2 over here some food and supplies." He rifles through chests and ends up tossing it some 32 golden carrots and a set of iron armor.

"Ranboo number two, huh."

"Yep." Also a full set of iron tools. Stone's just embarrassing, he can't have anyone saying he's a bad host. ...Should he give them diamond? Maybe he should give them diamond. Definitely he's overthinking this.

It has learned that many but not all of the people here are not human -- cool cool cool. Are many but not all of the people here genderbent?

She does also recognize Urahara.

The more pressing problem is unfortunately that it is really, really loud here. They got some of that -- their own name, Ranboo Two, and the general vibe (calm). At least Phil has human lips.

It says, "Hi? I'm, um, sorry about calling you old earlier, to me you are Phil Two. Second Phil. Also it's really loud here, do you mind facing me when you talk? It helps me not go "what?" all the time."

Also, to Techno: "Wow, this is a lot of stuff, thank you." Iron armor in Florida: super expensive.

Techno turns to face Ranboo. "...It's really not. If I gave you netherite, that would be a lot of stuff." He's currently in the process of making xem diamond armor and tools, which means the iron was a bit of a waste, but hey, whatever. He can't take advantage of low standards in a guest. (The voices whisper cute and xenia.) "Here's diamond, there's lapis and an enchanting setup upstairs. Is there anything else I can do to help you hear?"

Diamond??? Oh my god???

"Do you all just kind of have magic here?"

It is going to poke its head upstairs to try and see what an enchanting setup is, but come right back down again. There are... so many animal noises.

Speaking of magic: she is going to detransform, this is solidly safe and she has always suspected magical girl form is more of a magic drain.

Techno waits until they are both downstairs, so that he can talk facing it. “Yeah, kinda. Do you not? Because whatever you just did looked pretty magic to me, I’m gonna be real with you.”

Ranboo notices and appreciates this! Also just like her Techno.

"No, no, I do have magic, my friends and I have magic, but it's kind of a... secret? There are requirements and things. Most people don't know it exists. It's not just something people talk about casually."

“So you’re still the main character, but there’s a masquerade. A little YA, but life’s like that sometimes.”

"I think we have to be YA, we're all teens, we're all mostly teenagers. Except Phil, she's, I don't know, in her thirties? But that's pretty rare."

It pauses. If they're talking about genre, and this Phil also cosplays...

"I don't know what kind of media you have here? I'm a magical girl. Not like Salior Moon magical girl, the, uh, other kind. Phil, she dresses like Utena."

"Oh, pog! ...Maybe not pog, I haven't actually seen Utena!"

"It's pog, it's pog! I just more meant that people die sometimes in Utena and not in Sailor Moon, and also, I don't know. There's not... evil people all the good people fight against, there's just people who fight each other. There's just people." 

They don't really want to talk about that part right now, it makes them sad.

"Makes sense, makes sense. That's... I mean, that's life. We're all just people."

"Yeah. We're all just people.

I'm a little bit overwhelmed. I'm a little bit overwhelmed by all this. I'm suddenly in an isekai? I'm glad to know you're all just people too, honestly.

I'm going to go try your magic table. My Techno would think this was so cool."

Xer Techno owns multiple actual swords unrelated to her magical girl powers. Ranboo wants to show her this so badly. Teresa, too, but xe's not much in the habit of taking about Teresa to Technos.

Enchanting table: is an enchanting table! There's a floating book and a strange alphabet. You can use it with lapis to put enchantments on items. Such is Minecraft.

She doesn't know what most of these enchantments mean but she's just going to guess!

It comes back downstairs much shinier than before. Diamond. Wow. It's getting a headache from so much noise but does have a few more important things to ask about.

"I'm sorry for asking so many questions, but... what sort of things do you fight here? Just, I don't know, based on some of the magic options, I am a little concerned."

"Oh, you know, zombies. Baby zombies. Creepers. Orphans. Skeletons."

Xe can just filter out the orphans but the same way xe always filters out the orphans bit.

Zombies and animated skeletons both make sense, altho it's good to know that this is a world where those are real, but she might have misheard the other one.

"Did you say 'creepers?' Like, people who are creepy, or...?"

“They’re these, uh, green animals with a habit of exploding. Though I mean, if anyone’s giving you trouble…”

"Oh, I'm used to things like that! That's a relief, that's a relief. I don't think I've met any that specifically explode but I wouldn't be surprised to?"

She pauses.

"Nobody's giving me trouble, it's okay. It's just... always harder to fight other people."

She supposes witches are people but it's still somehow harder to fight other magical girls.

“The good news is no one’s fighting right now. I mean, I’m not fighting right now, I guess if other people have made some sort of secret fighting ring and not invited me I might not know about it. It’d be kinda rude, though, like, c’mon, that’s just BM.”

"That would be rude, it would be very rude."

Pause, consider if it wants to say this.

"My Techno and I sparred a lot. Most people didn't want to fight her because they were scared she'd win and take all their grief seeds, but she only ever joked about taking mine."

"Can't deprive my mentee of her supplies. This way it's more embarrassing for you when I win."

"I am constantly taking Ls, yes. My ass is constantly anticipating its next kicking."

“Tell you what, I’ve never sparred against someone with magic before. Any conditions you want, best three out of five?”

She checks her soul gem quickly. It's perfectly clear, and interestingly doesn't seem to have dimmed at all despite all her distress earlier. Good to know.

"That sounds good, that sounds good! I can heal most anything if I have enough magic; I don't know what healing's like for you?"

It probably is trusting someone it doesn't technically know a little too much if it says this, but it's probably important... it transforms quickly and gestures to its soul gem.

"Just don't hit this." 

“Good to know. I’ve got golden apples and health pots, but I mean, as long as it’s not canon, you can go wild, worst case scenario I respawn with slightly damaged pride.”

Golden apples and health pots seem to be healing objects, but there are definitely words in there she knows but is not familiar with being used to describe injuries.

"Sorry, I'm not quite sure what you mean... canon? What kind of canon? Something like "This is canon to Everyman Hybrid" or like "literary canon"?

Also where I'm from "respawn" is, I don't know, coming back from being dead in a video game, it's not really something people can do? Not even us."

"Uhh, more like the former but to real life, I dunno what Everyman Hybrid is. Canon deaths are, like... Deaths that matter, deaths that put you closer to being permanently dead. Respawning is coming back from being dead, yeah, everyone can do it 'cept Phil, if Phil dies he's dead."

It has never considered the concept of canon to real life. Huh. That could be useful.

"If some deaths matter but don't make you permanently dead, what does? Back home people die if we are killed, I guess like your Phil? My Phil is, like, super old, everyone's surprised she hasn't died yet, it's basically unheard of to be as old as she is.

But it sounds like sparring isn't that dangerous to you, if you spar with Phil here just treat me like you'd treat him or something."

"Most people have three lives and if they die three times canonically they're permanently dead. I didn't know that when I came here, I've only got the one and Phil's only got the one, but Phil's also different 'cause he doesn't have non-canon deaths. 

Phil usually says if he's getting low, can you do that or should I just, like, not fight back? I don't want to actually hurt you, here."

"I can let you know, I'll let you know? I heal pretty well, it would be hard for you to actually hurt me permanently, unless you hit my gem."

She doesn't exactly have healing magic herself, and hasn't turned her ability to feel pain off, but compared to normal humans she's leagues ahead. She has no idea what a humanoid pig with enchanted armor's concept of "normal limits" might be but she's fairly confident she'll be fine.

"What kind of stuff do you want for this? I was thinking maybe we both use full iron, give the set I gave you earlier a purpose. This is a fair sparring match." He starts taking off his stuff, puts the valuables in his ender chest and the random junk in his inventory in one of the barrels lying around. "You asked about healing, should I have gaps or potions on me? I can give us both the same amount of gaps but I don't have a ton of potions, might have to brew more if you want them. --What about ranged attacks, do you need a bow and arrows or should I put my crossbow away--"

"Not going to lie, I usually just fight like this? I don't think you have to provide me with anything... My magic will heal me on its own? And if I'm wearing armor when I transform it just disappears to wherever the rest of my clothes do. My Techno fights with sword and potions so I was kind of expecting both from you but you can use ranged weapons if you want. I'll just use my knives."

Xe's going to summon 20 knives and then desummon them, as a demonstration of xer self-sufficiency. There's no way he has grief seeds and that's the only thing xe might conceivably actually need.

"...Huh. Okay. Should I go armorless too or does your magic shield you?"

"I don't know? Some girls have armor as part of their costumes and it doesn't seem to protect them anymore than mine protects me, but I've never actually fought someone with... real nonmagic armor. You can just fight like you usually do. It'll be an experiment."

"Alright. Give me a moment to sort my stuff--inventory management is the worst--and then we can head outside." Time for rooting through chests. Does he even have health pots or did he lie to Ranboo The Second, he doesn't know where almost any of his potions are--whatever, he can just make more. Health isn't actually super necessary really but he'll take some and he needs strength and speed  He sets that up to go while he gathers golden apples and ender pearls and harming arrows and loads his crossbow with fireworks. Valuables get to come out of his enderchest; armor back on, the axe Ranboo The First made him in hand, sword and crossbow and trident in his hotbar. Shield PVP is lame and usually he protests by not using a shield but unfortunately they are also useful so he grabs a shield too before heading outside.

Outside: it is snowy! Techno draws his axe.

"Count of three?"

"Ready!"

Ranboo would not describe herself as a good fighter, but she is very fast and much stronger than her build would suggest and can jump ten feet in the air. Also, she can teleport. She's just not very good at aiming her blows and keeps hesitating and missing good opportunities. Healing is slower than someone with full saturation but not significantly so, and she never needs to eat while fighting to keep healing.

If he can block its knives or pin it in some way it'll go down, but it's going to be slippery until then, and he's probably not used to someone moving like it does, although an enderman is definitely going to be closest.