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The Valar announce that they've done as much as they can in Singularity (they can't bring back peoples' babies in that critical period either, but they can get them earlier versions) and are setting up portals between there and Sanity as soon as they are confident they've cleaned up the plague. A bunch of Elf architects have this wild idea for a fivedimensional city where alternating intersections are interdimensional portals between various Valinors and they get eagerly to setting it up. 

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And Cam should go get the population of his refugee planet now.

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The population of his refugee planet remains ignorant of events since he last visited them during the war.

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He lands.

"War's over."

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They look like they are torn between celebrating because that can only be good news and not celebrating because his facial expression is a bit scary.

"Did we win?" someone ventures eventually.

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"Yes. Do you want to go to Endorë or Valinor?"

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" - we're exiled from Valinor," someone ventures after a pause.

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"Not anymore."

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"Would you mind very much explaining what happened?"

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"It's a long story. Also, I think none of you know how to pilot a lightleaper so if my summoner is horrified by war stories and wants rid of me you'd be stuck till someone else came to get you."

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"The King'll send someone for us if the war's over, if you told him where we are now that it's safe. - what happened -"

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"Yeah your whereabouts are known now. The short version is that we dealt with the Enemy, his oath to cut it out for the destruction of Valinor -"

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This does not go over well. At all.

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"But then the Valar fixed it. You can see if you want."

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"You're lying," someone says, "you're lying, the King would never -"

"Dealt with the Enemy -"

"Is everyone okay - my whole family - they stayed behind so they'd be safe -"

 

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"Everyone who was on it is back now."

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"They all died?"

"But what about -"

"He's lying, he's lying, the Valar would never let that - the King would never let that -"

And then Cam is in Hell.

 

There are a lot of summons open for him!

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Of fucking course there are.

 

Are they coming in new at much of a clip?

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Nope. 

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He writes Minor.

Please summon me at one minute intervals till I answer one so I can tell them apart from the other open circles.

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An hour or so goes by. Then - sure let me find someone who can summon and a place where we're synced.

 

There's a summons an hour after that.

And then another one. 

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No Cam.

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"Keep it up, I'll write him -"

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He will continue completing circles every sixty seconds!

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If you decided to come in through the door or something instead let me know. 

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No answer. No summonee.

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What do Cam's surroundings look like -

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Large open space with a ton of circles.

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"Stop doing that, go get Timothy." Scale model of the planet with the circles -

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That's not a planet, it's a moon! Not Luna, a Jovian moon.

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Who's the summoner -

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Some lady in business casual.

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He pulls up the circle to look at.

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It's a really thorough binding, pages and pages wrapped around the circle in tiny mass-printed typeface. He's allowed to move around within a designated holding compound but not get within ten meters of anyone who doesn't approach him of their own accord or in the case of daeva under a like binding nod at him as he comes closer. He's allowed to nod and shake his head as an exception to the gag. If he is given explicit verbal permission by his summoner he is allowed to make things specified by that summoner in a carefully proscribed manner.

That's it.

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Timothy comes in.

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"I think Revelation is trying to try your boyfriend for war crimes."

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" - fuck. Write my Singularity alt - we don't have a way to get a door to Revelation, Cam was our way to get a door to Revelation - write Cam and tell him we're getting it sorted out -"

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"This binding doesn't let him talk it definitely isn't going to let him check his mail."

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All of the paper Minor's conjured recently spontaneously catches fire. "But how dare we injure fucking kittens," he snarls. "Bar, I need a book from Revelation about prominent summoners in the 21st century Minor did you send those letters I need circles for a bunch of people -"

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Early Figures in Summoning.

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He reads Minor a list of names.

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He makes safe circles, he's very good at that now.

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He finishes them.

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One of the angel circles is answered first.

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"Hi, I'm Timothy, I need you to open this magic door while thinking about a place you lived back when you were human, payment is any material object."

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"...magic door? Wait, how did you know I -"

A fairy circle is answered.

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He waves his hand angrily and the rest of the circles go up in flames. "I know an ex-summoner and he told me how it works. And he's stuck in a stupid fucking zoo summons and I'm going to go get him but I need the magic door."

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"Whoa, hey, I don't go in for offing summoners," says the angel, "that's bad karma -"

"Who's zooing people?" asks the fairy, alarmed.

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"I'm not going to kill anyone, I promise, I have another way." To the fairy, "hi, I'm Timothy, I need help opening this magic door and then I need a ride to Jupiter, payment is any material object -"

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"Um, does it need me to be pure of heart or what -"

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"No, it needs you to have formerly lived on Earth and be able to concentrate for a couple seconds on the place on Earth where you used to live."

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"Uh, okay, sure." The fairy goes and opens the door onto an apartment balcony.

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"Can I get you anything for your time," he asks the angel.

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"...Suncast edition of Glitter Legend 4?"

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Minor hands it to her. "Sent the letters - do you want me to come too -"

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"Yes please." And through into Revelation. "How long does it take to get to Jupiter -"

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"Couple hours but I brought my own star nav. You're pulling off the outfit, by the way."

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"Thank you. Let's go."

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Zoom.

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He pulls out his computer and writes his Singularity alt.

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Who gets the message between meetings and writes back - I can try to go through official channels to get an expedited trial or something, but if I try that and then he mysteriously gets broken out that'll cause a lot more problems than if he mysteriously gets broken out when I've no knowledge of the situation. 

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"Minor can you read Quenya -"

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"Yep why -" - Timothy hands him the note - "this is Tyelcormo's weird alphabet but I can read that too - uh he says 'I can try to go through official channels to get an expedited trial or something, but if I try that and then he mysteriously gets broken out that'll cause a lot more problems than if he mysteriously gets broken out when I've no knowledge of the situation.'"

 

 

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"Ask how expedited an expedited trial would be."

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"Says like a week."

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"Then we'll ask Cam."

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"Gagged."

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"I mean I am super tempted to make his summoner break his binding and then he can stick around for the trial if he so pleases, just to prove a point, but that would be wrong."

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"Yeah kind of."

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"I thought you said this was about a zoo summon."

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"The whole story's really long - I guess not two hours of long, though - have you heard about the thing where there are several worlds?"

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"Yeah... sounded kind of tabloidy..."

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"I'm from one. That's why I couldn't get a door to Earth myself."

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"I wouldn't know anything about how your magic door works."

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"Yeah, true. I can't prove any of this. But magic doors sound tabloidy themselves, right? Minor, you want to make little models of Valinor and Endorë -"

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He does that. "You could still be making it up and just have an art department."

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"I know. Anyway. The rest of the multiverse does not consider gags acceptable treatment, and in fact already had a conduct review about this exact thing and decided there'd been no misconduct, but apparently this world is still stuck in the Dark Ages."

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"...okay. Uh, I am not killing anybody for you when we get to Jupiter. Just to be clear."

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"Yeah, understood. I'm not going to kill anybody. I'm actually going to hang out far away and have Minor go talk to Cam, insofar as a person can talk when they have been gagged, and even if that goes very badly Minor isn't going to kill anybody either."

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"I actually feel kind of protective of summoners at risk of being killed by daeva, considering."

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"Oh, did that happen to you?"

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"Yeah."

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"Doodled on the floor when you were little?"

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"No, I was thirteen and I was using a textbook but it wasn't a sufficiently thorough textbook. I translate better ones for new worlds, now."

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"Nice work if you can get it."

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"Yeah. If you're into translation stuff there's lots of demand, now, with all the new places."

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"I'll keep an eye out."

Zoooooom.

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Timothy frets. "I should've brought a soul Elf - since he can't talk -"

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"Elves would overextrapolate from the fact they'd die under these conditions, freak out -"

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"What the fuck is served by not letting them talk, Azkaban lets people talk." 

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"I don't know." Pat pat.

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"Where is he, what's he doing -"

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He conjures.

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Curled up on a couch wrapped in his wings.

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He scowls. The tiny model Cam catches fire in Minor's hands.

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"Owww - that wasn't even flammable material -"

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"How about now -"

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Minor conjures again. 

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Cam hasn't moved.

"If you keep setting things on fire we might have problems with our air budget," says the fairy.

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"I'm sorry," he says, and does not set any more things on fire all the way to Jupiter.

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Jupiter is very pretty. The fairy puts them on the correct moon by the correct arcology.

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"Thanks so much - what can we get you -"

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The fairy has a modest shopping list.

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Minor fills it. They head over to what appears to be the entrance to the arcology.

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The airlock opens to admit them.

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Timothy thanks the fairy and sends him home. 

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Pop.

Someone comes over. "You're not expected - and you really shouldn't travel by bare fairy interplanetary, not safe - what can I do for you?"

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"Sorry, I wasn't sure how to schedule a visit in advance. We want to see a prisoner, is that possible?"

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"Lemme show you how you make an appointment for next time first, here -" He has a chiplocked computer, shows them the form they're supposed to fill out.

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He doesn't have a chiplocked computer yet but Minor does; it's compatible. They fill out the form.

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"If it was expecting you I could tell you where to find it but it could be anywhere in the section, unfortunately. I can announce you now and see if it'll come out to the visiting area."

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"Referring to your prisoners as 'it' is I guess not strictly incompatible with respect for human rights but it's sure not reassuring on that front."

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"We don't have human prisoners here," blinks the bureaucrat.

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"Apparently you guys decided that elephants might be people and deserve rights, that seems like a harder problem than noticing that daeva are."

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"Sir, I can't let you visit if you don't remain calm."

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"If I put you on trial for violating peoples' rights I assure you I will leave you capable of speaking," he says very calmly.

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"...anyway, I'll announce you." He gets on the intercom and announces that the demon Campbell Mark Swan has visitors and their names, and peers at security camera feeds. "Yeah there it goes. Down that hall third door left."

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A random painting on the opposite wall falls off. "Thank you," he says, and they go down the hall.

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"I didn't even know you could do accidental magic as an adult -"

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"That was not accidental." He opens the door.

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Cam's there sitting on a stool. He almost gets up to go to Timothy but doesn't quite.

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He looks around briefly to check if there's some reason why they shouldn't.

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Security camera? Not like a sign forbidding physical affection or anything.

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"Oh, the binding had a thing - he can't go within ten meters of people -"

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Timothy growls and then rushes forward and hugs him. 

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Hug, hug, hug.

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"Minor, you want to go ask at the front if they have assistive communication devices for people who can only nod or shake their head?"

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"They aren't gonna."

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"Yeah but I want to make a point."

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Off he goes.

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"If there's something a demon needs to be able to use language for then the summoners authorize them to make written material," says the guy.

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"I see. Thank you." And back he goes. "Nope."

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Nod. "Given that we're on camera -"

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He switches to Quenya. "If you want we can break you out right now. Timothy's guessing that he wouldn't need to Imperius your summoner if he just implicitly threatens to kill her but I think he's prepared to if he needs to; if you are not okay with that we can instead have the Singularity Maitimo kick up a big fuss about jurisdiction and get a trial expedited and hopefully it goes well. If there's a superior option I have not mentioned, nod."

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Cam shakes his head.

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"If you want the first option - plus your suggestions, obviously, we're not going to go off and do it before you've approved the details - nod."

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Headshake.

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"You want to wait for a trial?"

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Sigh. Nod.

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He switches to English. "Are there specific things we can do for you that I have any hope of thinking of -"

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Nod.

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"We're staying, obviously," Timothy says. "Are you allowed to use a computer if we happen to have brought yours with us in my pocket -"

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Cam neither nods nor shakes his head.

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"Gag might interfere with some functions but not all of them? Would physical books be better, I also happen to have brought some of them in my pocket."

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Headshake.

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Sigh. "There should exist some kind of assistive communication device that works for this, you could narrow down letters by nod shake or nothing to make it go faster - Minor, do you know how a curator'd catalogue that -"

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"...maybe?" There's a chip in Timothy's pocket.

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He pulls it out and loads it onto his computer. 

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The most promising options track gaze.

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"Well since I have your computer anyway I can give it to you and we can see what 'not yes or no' means..." He pulls Cam's computer out of his pocket and hands it to him.

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Cam seems to be able to navigate existing files but not create new things.

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If they load a gaze-tracking program can he spell anything out with it?

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He can't spell, but he can use the pictorial options.

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Do they provide any insight on things they can do for him?

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The pictorial options are poorly equipped to tell them to send somebody to the refugee planet to retrieve them, but Cam does his best.

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"Should we go fetch a soul Elf?"

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Nod.

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"There's an almost-complete circle for a fairy in my robes -" now there is and he takes it out. "We should probably go ask at the front desk if this is allowed."

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And off they go.

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"Summoning's allowed here according to international licensing regulations."

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"Great, thanks," Timothy says, and completes the circle.

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Fairy! "Hi, what can I do for you?"

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"I need a ride to Earth and back. I have one of those star navigation things if you need it and there's a demon on Earth who can pay you."

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"Sure thing!"

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(Timothy quietly confirms the deal.)

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"See you soon."

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"Yeah." He goes back to the reception area and starts booking appointments with every single prisoner here.

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The front desk guy is nonplussed but doesn't obstruct him.

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Great! Then he will go to every daeva who wants to see him and teach them the public/private thoughts distinction.

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The angels and fairies are actually just allowed to talk.

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Then all demons get to learn it (with Legilimency demonstrations of mindreading if needed to convince them he's not insane) and angels and fairies get asked if they need anything and if there's anyone who'd want a summons to come and visit them.

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Many of them would like summonses for their friends, yes.

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He takes down all the names and promises he'll get to them as soon as he can. 

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He writes Amriac to tell Michael they need another door somewhere on Earth and to tell him where.

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Amriac hands Michael his mail without reading it next time she conjures for it.

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And he sighs and tells her "they're getting into complicated adventures again, want to pay some angel or fairy for me?" and goes downstairs and asks Bar for the book she got Timothy and summons people. One at a time.

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Amriac pays the angel they get on the first try, who is willing.

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And they write Minor with a location in India and a little while later he and a fairy show up. 

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"We need a soul Elf. They arrested Cam and there's a gag so he can't tell us to do something important."

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"I want to come!!"

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"Great."

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And the fairy hauls them to Jupiter again.

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He pays the fairy before they get to the arcology. They go inside. 

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He has appointments with Cam booked continually for the next year.

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"...I'm not sure it's legal to transport kids by bare fairy," says the front desk guy, looking at Mingling.

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"If anything happens I guess you'll try me for negligence. Luckily I'm human so you won't render me unable to speak without a trial, or for that matter at all."

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Timothy hugs him.

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"Usually you people just send ranty extranet messages," says the guy.

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"Oh, there exist people who think that rights shouldn't depend on whether one's wings are feathered? I really have a visceral understanding now of how God felt when he said to Abraham 'if there are ten decent men I will spare the city' -"

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"Timothy."

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"Let's go see Cam."

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Cam is in the visiting room.

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Hi! I'm your interpreter also I think I understand why there are murderdaeva now and I am sad.

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Aw kiddo.

Uh, I was about to take the people on my refugee planet to Valinor or Endorë, they didn't pick, and someone should still go do that.

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He reports this to Minor, who writes a note. 

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"I taught all the demons the private thoughts distinction and got a list from everyone else of friends they wanted to see but Mingling can be here at least the next couple hours. Need anything else -"

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That's all that's time-sensitive to speak of.

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He conveys this.

I'm here so you can talk, not just so we can have better information.

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I appreciate that, thanks for coming. You could remind Timothy that I cannot go hug him of my own accord.

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He does this.

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He hugs Cam. Very tightly.

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Hug. Tell him I love him. How'd you get into Revelation?

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Cam loves you, he tells Timothy, and Michael summoned an angel ex-summoner. Dunno how they did it -

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"Same. Well, a fairy."

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Nod. That makes sense. How expedited is expedited?

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When this is relayed-  "A week, he thought."

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That's not so bad.

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"I am not convinced of the justness of a justice system that definitionally won't let you speak in your own defense." He takes off his necklace and gives it to Cam.

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I appreciate the thought but this doesn't seem like the most entertaining time to have extra attention to spare. When the trial rolls around I will be allowed to write.

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He puts it back on. "If you have to conjure it all at once you can't - communicate the way you talk, at all."

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I don't have to make it all at once, I can do paper and then ink as I go.

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Sigh. "Okay. There is also the fact that - either the fact you can make people becomes part of a very very public record, or a ton of information fairly critical to evaluating the incident gets left out at trial."

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This has occurred to me but threatening some random functionary doesn't sit well.

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"I know. But I'm not okay with you being stuck like this for - how long do people in 2179 even live - eighty years?"

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They usually live longer than that but she was probably at least thirty.

Uh, if anyone notices Minor is a demon they can check his binding by parlor trick and will freak out, it's designed for accidents of limited physics background, not to stop him from doing things. They will not shoot you because you're not his summoner but they will panic.

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He's been avoiding openly making stuff. They can tell I'm not his summoner -

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Yeah, they can. If they check, not impossible they'd assume and shoot you anyway.

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Wizards can with warning be bulletproof, I'll just go around vaguely shrouded in protective charms - it'll interfere with hugging, but - will they at least check before shooting Mingling as another adjacent human -

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Probably.

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People are not very nice when they're scared, he comments after relaying this. Maybe we need to make them less scared.

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Is it better if we tell them up front so they notice in an unpressured situation and have time to verify that we're not his summoners -

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They haven't noticed yet, but maybe get him dismissed when no one's looking and get a different better bound demon.

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I'm okay with maybe getting shot I like having Minor here. 

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Me too but it's not our call if other people might get hurt when they're panicking - is that likely -

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If they think his summoner might be near, yes.

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Sigh. "Okay. Minor want to write whoever it is -"

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"Sanity's Tyelcormo? I really don't think he checks his mail but yeah sure." Type type. 

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Or have Amriac tell him.

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"Yeah I'll message her too. These people kind of suck."

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They have reasons.

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"Yeah. Slaveholders have reasons, too, trust me, I've heard them. Everyone in the universe who is treating a bunch of other people terribly has reasons."

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Sigh.

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What do summoning licenses look like and where's a jurisdiction we can pretend to have them from?

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You can't, they look you up in a database. Unlicensed safe summoning is not an execution offense though.

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Are they going to look us up and notice we don't? Because if so, Timothy, you should get to all those people before they do -

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Yeah, I should.

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If they haven't yet, probably not until the bureaucracy has a shift change.

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Okay. I promised people I'd do that. I'll be back if I get the sense someone's inclined to look, or tomorrow at the latest. Kiss. Mingling can relay for you wherever we are. 

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Kiss. Squeeze. For limited values of 'wherever'.

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Yeah. But we're staying here at least until the trial.

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You don't have to do that.

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Even if you announced you were breaking up with me I would stay here until everyone who had friends they wanted summoned got to meet their friends. As it stands I'm here as long as you want me.

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I love you. However, consider you could maybe legitimately acquire a summoning license from one of the more lenient jurisdictions with relevant reciprocity policies.

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That'd probably let me help more people, yeah. Do you happen to know the relevant jurisdictions or how to look them up -

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At a guess Federated Stations - satellites of the Earth pretending to be a polity together - will have a written test and check that you can bring a properly bound daeva to your test site and that's probably easiest.

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Okay. Minor, tell them not to dismiss you yet, I actually don't want to do bare fairy interplanetary travel.

 

He summons another fairy. He completes the written test on the way there.

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Meanwhile he makes a few phone calls and arranges a meeting. 

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The president of Mars will be happy to speak with him.

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"This is a vital strategic secret, shouldn't leave this room, and more urgently should not be committed to recorded form under any circumstances, do you know a location where you can ensure that?"

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"Not if you don't want to leave the room," jokes the President.

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"I apologize for not explaining myself in advance so this could be arranged."

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"We could go for a walk, have our environment suits conjured fresh by the staff demon so they're clean, if it's so important," smiles the President.

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"Sounds perfect."

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So they go to the staff demon and receive fresh environment suits and go out for a stroll in the unterraformed redness of Mars. "What's on your mind?"

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"Demons can make Elves. This was discovered during the war; it is very important that it not become widely known in Hell. The backup chips in our brains don't work if they make them naively, the same as if they tried to make a human; but if you copy the data to a fresh chip, which is easy to learn how to do, then you can make a body around it just fine."

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"My god, that's horrifying."

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"Yes. You recently arrested the demon who was involved in our war, Campbell Swan. The, ah, natural defense in the murder trial he is facing would be that he brought the people back to life afterwards, which he did. It seems to me that it would be a serious miscarriage of justice to try to conduct a murder trial without mentioning that the victims are alive and well, but it is also not an option to commit to the record of a trial that will doubtless attract a lot of interest that this is a thing demons can do."

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"By 'you' I assume you mean the Ganymede Circling Police? Mars subscribes but does not administer."

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"Yes. I don't know how long they've had a circle out for him but he answered it this morning. It was my hope that Mars would be equipped to help me navigate this while sharing the sensitive information as minimally as possible."

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"Inconveniently I am away from my computer and cannot look up whether that is even his only charge."

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"We can conduct the rest of the discussion elsewhere if you think we can talk around the sensitive information carefully enough."

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"I do not think my office is actually bugged."

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"Of course. You'll forgive my paranoia."

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"That is why we are on this walk, of course. Is there anything I should know before we turn around?"

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"I did confirm he has no outstanding charges from conduct in this star system; they are all related to the war. I would really appreciate it if the Ganymede Circling Police found the case outside their jurisdiction entirely, and allowed Elven governments to pursue cases involving our worlds and our citizens, particularly ones as sensitive as this."

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"Jurisdiction is a funny concept with daeva. If they find he's dangerous, matters less who he was dangerous to and more who he might be dangerous to later."

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"That is understood, but the evidence that he is not dangerous is almost entirely constituted in 'he didn't kill anyone until we had a way to bring them back, then undertook an operation with significant collateral damage on my authorization as part of the course of a war and immediately brought them back'. Without that information they can't evaluate the answer properly, and they cannot have the information."

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"Look," says the President, "I'm not sure what it is you want me to do; I don't run the GCP."

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"I would like your advice on how to get him released while telling as few people as possible what I have just told you."

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"You need him cleared or just dismissed?"

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"Just dismissed, we'll handle it from there."

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"Could pretend you're very upset with him, want somebody immortal doing the summoning so he doesn't skip out in a few decades."

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"- thank you. Who should I complain of this to?"

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"I can introduce you to the GCP representative to Mars."

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"Thank you very much."

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"It's no trouble, my friend, no trouble at all!"

And the president of Mars introduces him to the planetary GCP contract.

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He is so pleased to meet them! He foresees a productive future of Elven collaboration with the GCP, especially since Elves are immortal and could help with the summoning.

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That is indeed very promising! They have an occasional problem with their summoners dying and having to rearrest daeva.

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"I asked the president to introduce me because I am very worried that the GCP is attempting to conduct an investigation they are not equipped to conduct correctly, touching very closely on matters of our national sovereignty and national security. Until close collaboration between the GCP and the governments of Valinor and Endorë is made possible, it will be very damaging to relations between our peoples for these investigations to erroneously go forward."

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"Oh? What do you mean?"

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"It was brought to my attention that you arrested Campbell Swan this morning for crimes committed in the course of a recent war in Valinor. The GCP is of course not equipped to justly try the case; any information you have about it must be thirdhand through our emissaries or through conjuring, and a lot of information relevant to the war was deliberately made not conjurable. The demon possesses a great deal of information vital to our national security which he could share in a trial, unless you mean to conduct it in secret. And whoever summoned him will die in a century or less, meaning the maximum penalty for holing a planet is in practice a single human lifespan. We have more resources to conduct that case, it touches on our people, it endangers our security to have it prosecuted by humans, and you can't lock him up very long."

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"It'll be on the lookout for another batched summons; you can't guarantee successful rearrest."

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"Among the resources we have to conduct that case are means of ensuring a successful rearrest."

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"Would you be willing to share with the GCP how you accomplish that?"

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"I would be willing to demonstrate the capacity by bringing in a few daeva you name. I hope we can develop a partnership which would enable freer sharing of resources than that."

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"I'm sure we could arrange to have him sent to your planet under his current summon. Surely your methods will still work later on."

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"Your binding doesn't meet our standards for rights of the accused."

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"How so?"

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"Under our laws everyone has the right to speak in their own defense."

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"During the trials demons are allowed conjured writing if they have anything to say for themselves," she assures him.

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"I am aware. That does not meet our standards for rights of the accused either. And being unable to talk ever again does not meet our standards for acceptable restrictions on prisoners."

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"It's a safety precaution; we don't do the same thing with angels or fairies."

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"I understand that it might be necessary given your resources; that does not make it acceptable given ours."

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"I can talk to my superiors but I can tell you now they're going to want to know how you can guarantee arrest."

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"Does the binding permit the demon to lie?"

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"Binding doesn't let it talk at all. In writing, yeah, it could, we have to corroborate."

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Sigh.

"We can travel to Hell for law enforcement purposes. It's not safe for us to do but the Valar are immaterial and not in danger."

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"...huh. Yeah, I can write the commissioner."

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"I appreciate it tremendously."

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"No problem, sir."

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And he writes Timothy to say that he's working on it.

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Timothy is getting licensed as a summoner.

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The written is insulting ("why do we gag demons?" "all of the above", and similarly leading questions) but the practical just requires turning up with an adequately bound and tasked daeva.

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He has Minor make him a circle and doesn't snark on the written at all and then he's licensed and can take Ister instead of Minor back to Jupiter with him.

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Ister is happy to help.

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He actually has a hard time getting into the right mindset for the Imperius. Other people not thinking daeva are people will do that. But he gets it eventually. 

 

And now if anyone wants to check he is in fact a licensed summoner.

He starts going down peoples' lists of their friends.

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Some of the friends show up. There are reunions of various tearfulness.

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He promises everyone that this will be ongoingly available from now on. He takes a break to eat. He goes to find Cam.

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Hi. How's it going?

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Reunions are good. I'm going to ask one of my alts to stay here and do it indefinitely, the poor people. I've been abusing the sleep-skipping song. Imperius'll wear off while I'm asleep and Ister can't do anything without me at his side so I sent him home. Wanted to fall asleep with you, if it's convenient...

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I think we're allowed, yeah. I'm not sure there's enough prison population to warrant a full time job.

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Could be located here and also do other stuff. Also my alt might've promised to help them arrest people in exchange for getting you out, his note said he was working on something along those lines no promises yet.

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Bit late for us to object to prison summonses in concept. Snuggle.

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Snuggle. Yeah. I hope -

And then he is asleep.

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Mingling curls up at Cam's feet and sings.

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Cam tries to sleep too. Eventually he manages.

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When he wakes up he takes Mingling with him to go interview demons about friends they might like to have visit them.

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Some demons have friends!

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Then their friends can visit them. Can his demon, who looks weirdly dazed and out-of-it, make them anything?

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Plenty of the inmates want stuff. Is his demon on drugs. Will this affect stuff quality.

 

A lady who does not seem to work for the GCP comes by and wants to know if Mingling is Timothy's little brother?

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Stuff quality is unaffected. 

 

"...cousin. Can we help you with anything?"

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Should I telepath at her or not -

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- probably not have you picked up any English -

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- not a lot -

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You're little, no one expects you to know a lot.

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"And where are your parents?" the lady asks Mingling.

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"Home working."

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"Did they ask your cousin to look after you?"

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Say yes -

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"Yes."

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"The people who work here are a little worried that your cousin is distracted and not remembering to make sure you're getting enough food and sleep. You've been here for a long time and it's not really a great place for kids. Can you tell me where your parents work?"

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Shrug. "I want be here - to be here? I want to be here. I'm helping. I'm getting enough food or sleep."

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"...Do you not speak English as your first language? What do you speak?"

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Shrug.

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"What's his first language?" she asks Timothy.

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"Greek. He's not bad with English, though."

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"Would you rather talk to someone who speaks Greek?" the lady asks Mingling.

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"Can talk to who wants."

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"It would take a few hours for me to go get someone who speaks Greek but I can if you want me to, all right? When was the last time you had a whole meal all at once, not just snacks?"

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You should tell them you had breakfast this morning.

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I don't know the words for breakfast or morning. "Not long. Meal soon. Want eat - want to eat - with us?"

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"I wouldn't want to take your food from you. The people who work here have been keeping an eye on you and they haven't seen you eat much."

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"Ister demon," he says patiently.

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"He means you can't take his food because it's not like we're short of it," he says. "We eat together, he's just one of those kids who eats like a bird."

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"Birds eat lots for how small," he corrects him.

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"You're right, I'm terribly sorry. What would be a better animal?"

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Shrug.

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"They also haven't seen you sleeping."

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"I don't like sleeping."

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"Me neither! But it's still really important for your health that you sleep, every day. Most kids your age need naps, too."

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"I need singing! I need lots of singing this place."

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"Singing's plenty of fun, but it's not as important as sleep."

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...shrug. "For me singing more important. Can sleep if you want."

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"He's not tired or fussy or out-of-sorts or anything, and it's not like I've been giving him coffee, he legitimately doesn't need much sleep."

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"He doesn't seem like there's an emergency, but it can't be helping that this is, well, a prison colony and not really intended to host children. I'd like his parents' contact information, please."

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"Uh, write Finis and Nell Way, c/o Amriac, they conjure their mail. I don't think they have a stable address."

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She writes this down, and confirms the spelling.

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Yep, she got it. Does she want to stay for a while and observe?

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Wouldn't hurt.

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Then she will watch Timothy summon some friends for a demon and talk to them in Greek and take them off to meet their friend and Mingling cling contentedly to Timothy and witness one-sided but weirdly conversant communications between the gagged demon and the visitors, and then Mingling singing a hauntingly pretty sad song while some angel meets a friend without facilitators required, and then Mingling bouncing to Timothy and saying "Cam? Cam? Cam?" as they go off to meet another demon prisoner for lunch.

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Timothy kisses this demon and murmurs "I think we've worried some sort of child agency."

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I should've thought of that, they'll assume he's a human and needs three meals a day and at least eight hours of sleep and this is not exactly a hotel.

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I should've thought of it too, 1802 doesn't have anyone who'd care but they'd wonder.

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Mingling would like a winghug from Cam.

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I'm not sure the child services lady would like that. She might not care, but, might.

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So it would be useful information about whether she is mean or nice.

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If she cares she's that much more likely to kidnap you.

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She would do that?

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If she thinks Timothy isn't taking good care of you, maybe. You don't look upset or malnourished but she can't go solely on that.

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Kidnapping is not a very okay way to help people. He clings to Timothy. 

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There are times it makes sense. This isn't one and she is only probably good enough at her job to know that.

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Nod. Sigh.

 

They eat lunch.

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"Maybe we'll take the afternoon off, have Ister make Mingling something pretty."

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"Ooooh." Can it look like the courtyard of my house I miss it.

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It can! He might have to clear it up later but for now it'll look exactly like that.

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The child services lady goes away after a bit but makes sure Mingling knows the name of the communications officer of the prison and where she works and that she is a good person to tell if he needs anything.

The prison bureaucrats do not really want a courtyard in their arcology.

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"I'll summon an angel and clear it up, don't worry. I really do appreciate your flexibility with all of this."

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"Now, please," says the irritable fellow who has been sent to complain about the courtyard.

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"Soaked up enough, kiddo?"

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He hasn't, not really. "Don't want you in trouble."

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Sigh. He gets the courtyard poofed.

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The bureaucrat leaves them alone when the unauthorized landscaping is gone.

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He arranges some more visits and then that's all the people who answered a summons and they can just hang out with Cam. They do. They cut it out with the sleep-skipping songs and Mingling declines to sleep not wrapped up in Cam's wings so the bureaucrats will just have to deal with that.

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And he has more meetings.

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The GCP is very interested in getting Vala assistance with the capture of some dangerous daeva who have not answered their summonses, and are persuaded of the logic of having immortal summoners available for planet-holing demons. They are not super impressed with the confidential war information thing (they seem to think you should not give demons confidential war information) but don't make a huge deal of it in light of other concerns.

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Great. So planning can proceed on a partnership and custody of Cam can be transferred via dismissing and resummoning him?

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Weren't they going to send Valar after him?

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For confidential war information reasons he is entirely certain Cam will answer a summons from him. But if he doesn't, of course.

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The GCP would like to check the binding and verify the summons is answered.

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Naturally. The binding is very strict and GCP-compliant except for the absence of a gag.

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They're not suuuuper thrilled about that part. People are not secure systems and can be talked into things.

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"It's sufficient for angels and fairies? Are demons regarded as better at talking people into things?"

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"Yes, and more likely to be motivated to do so."

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"When you're already talking about handling of murderers aggregate population likelihoods of being a murderer seem irrelevant. Anyway, our standards for the rights of prisoners are incompatible with taking away their ability to write and speak."

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They want to know if he has a certification equivalent to the one they require of their summoners demonstrating the capacity to resist temptations to prematurely dismiss or snap bindings on daeva.

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"We do not yet have a certification process for that. We would be open to developing one, but he fed my home world into a black hole, I am not worried I will be unduly tempted to send him home."

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They're really more worried about binding snapping. Their closest calls have been in emergency situations where someone wanted daeva assistance in a hurry.

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"Keep in mind that death is not very much a disaster for us. If someone murdered me right now I would be mildly inconvenienced. It's harder to confront us with an emergency and we have less to lose if one occurs. And the stakes could never match the war that just concluded, during which everyone kept their heads."

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That satisfies their substantive objections. Does he need to address the demon to be sure it will answer his summons?

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"I need to tell him it's from me, yes, and how to distinguish it from other active ones if there are any - should I expect any, do you still have circles open for him -"

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"Yes, but we can clear them for you."

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"Thank you."

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So they collect up the open circles and escort him to Ganymede.

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It's horrible. He reminds himself that humans don't take prison like Elves.

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The prison staff notice his resemblance to that activist and his little cousin and want to know how he's related.

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"I am an Elf. These are humans?"

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"Come to think of it the little one has pointy ears."

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"I have a lot of cousins but they'd definitely be Elves."

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"Well, they hang around a lot, maybe you'll see them."

He can have a visiting appointment with Cam.

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"I'm here to inform you that as a consequence of changes to prisoner handling procedures we are going to dismiss and resummon you. If you don't answer the new summons we are prepared to come and find you. If there are several open circles write me and we will establish a procedure for ensuring that you take the right one, but there should not be any other ones. Can we expect compliance?"

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Nod.

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He informs the local authorities that they can go ahead and dismiss him. He draws out the approved new circle.

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Here is Cam, doing his best to look chastened.

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"Thank you for your cooperation," he says to Cam. "Is there anything else I can do for you?" he says to the regulators.

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Nope, they're good.

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Great. He'd like to bring the prisoner to his ship, then, and he looks forward to future cooperation.

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His prisoner comes quietly. No point provoking anybody by being a talking demon, even if he can.

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"Might've gone faster if I hadn't fought them on the gag," he says once they're on the ship, "but it's going to be a holdup if we're getting other demons for them, it's -" Sigh. "Can they tell whether I broke the binding by any means other than looking at you?"

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"They can tell if they look at you, too."

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"That's annoying. Can they tell if I dismissed you, same way?"

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"Yep."

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"Are they checking whether I am your summoner, or whether I am your summoners with this summons specifically?"

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"They can check the binding."

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"Well that's obnoxious. Okay. If I give you permission to go anywhere and make anything you want, how inconvenienced are you going to be -"

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"The not approaching within ten meters of people is obnoxious and I don't think it's phrased so you can just opt me out of it."

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"And you can't kill any more Melkors for us. We could ask Sanity if they want to hold the so-people-are-justified-in-believing-we-were-right trial right now, invite some Revelation observers?"

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"Seems a little fast for Valar but it's worth a shot. You could also just say you transferred me to another summoner with fewer competing demands on their time to interfere with escort. Send them a note in advance about it so they don't think you're covering for a screwup."

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"If the Valar can't get fast turnaround I'll do that. Are you okay?"

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"I've had better weeks. I'm all right."

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Hug?

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Hug. Sigh.

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"Sorry I couldn't move faster."

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"It's okay."

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"I know it's a little bit cultural projection but that place is awful and I would be dead by now."

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"I'm not an Elf. It wan't even that uncomfortable, just depressing."

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"I don't think it's being an Elf that would make being unable to talk or write a problem. What do we lose if we just tell them they don't have souls and demons can't steal them?"

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"Credibility, likely."

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"I could have the Valar do it."

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"Might work."

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"What's the supposed narrative here, what do they believe happens if a demon gets your soul...presumably someone has summoned a lot of demons and asked about rescuing souls in Hell, right, that's the absolute first thing one would do..."

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"If anyone's done that they didn't publish. The mythology we're overlapping thinks souls in Hell get tortured for eternity."

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"And no one has tried rescuing them? Are there - are there people in that prison who were just playing a practical joke and are now serving hundreds of years of prison time for supposed torture -"

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"I don't know, couldn't ask them what they were in for."

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"It's probably public record, right - let me write my Sanity alt -" will Valar cooperate with war crimes trial for Cam (+ me?) and with disproving local religion -

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"It probably is."

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"- do I have to explicitly tell you you can make things, you can make things to find that if you'd like -"

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Sigh. "You're supposed to be more specific."

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"Are you not allowed to instruct me on what specific permissions to give you or is it just that you don't know what's good enough until it works or fails to work -"

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"Trying to do forensics under these conditions sounds kind of excruciating."

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"It's fine. I'll ask someone else. Where do you want to go while we're waiting to hear back from the Valar?"

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"Milliways is good."

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He writes them and asks them to let him know where a door can be found.

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"Hey," he says to Ambela, "how fast do you think the Valar could do a really good war crimes trial if it's really important?"

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"Define 'really good'."

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"It would be useful for it to be persuasive to people in Revelation and they seem like a tough audience."

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"With or without information about demonic forking?"

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"I was hoping they'd have a clever idea for having a day of the hearing not committed to recorded form or something."

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"Even telling people from Revelation without allowing recordings is a risk."

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"Yes. Could pick ones who my alt thinks are vanishingly unlikely to themselves be demons but that doesn't fix it. And it's not just Revelation, every world where we're using summoning as immortality. - maybe ask the Valar if they can prevent forking in Hell -"

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"That's the sort of thing they could do but they might have to move to Hell to sustain it."

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"All of them or one, it might be a good use of one. Or they could just do it for a couple Years, until any daeva who piece things together and are tempted to try try and fail and it becomes common knowledge it doesn't work..."

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"Especially combined with adding forking protections to every world we bring into the loop that might do it."

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"There was some quick forensic work I needed done to evaluate how urgent it is." He has a demon for mail; he goes to find her. "Hey, can I get you to pull up the Ganymede Circling Police records of daeva currently being held as dangerous -"

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"Sure..." She has to try a few times to get the whole list but here it is. Murderers, rapists, torturers, serious property damage, looks like they don't do soul thieves.

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He is very deeply relieved. He writes his alt and Cam. He returns to Ambela. "So probably worth asking them to do that, then, but it's not pause-Revelation levels of urgent."

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Nod. "I'll ask them."

She goes and updates the Valar on the usefulness of their pending war crime procedure, when can they have that set up?

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They're stretched a little thin but they could start a trial in a month. Hell they would need to visit to see how much maintenance it would take to get forks not to work there.

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Inconveniently the doors Amriac and Minor get are in populated areas and they'd be conspicuous, but when Cam is back they can step into his house.

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They get back a little later. They ask the angel holding the door to hold it a little while longer for Timothy and Mingling, who are on their way. 

 

"A month's longer than I'd like."

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"Could say that because you're a witness in the trial - if you're not on trial, you should probably be on trial, I can't think of a consistent legal principle under which Cam's responsible but the people who helped him aren't -"

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"The parts they helped with were harm reduction, not actually doing it."

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"I agree that I should probably be on trial, though. Why's this relevant -"

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"Ah, for that reason it's a conflict of interest to have you as another defendant's summoner and you handed him off to someone else."

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"Might kind of undermine some of the diplomatic progress we've made. Saying I can't be his summoner because I'm a witness in the trial would be easier."

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"I think you can technically be a witness and a defendant. You could also just have a separate trial you don't tell anybody about if you need not to mention being a defendant in mine."

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"Or tell people about but not the prickly governments of Revelation while we're trying to convince them to improve their treatment of daeva. If the Sanity Valar are really this good maybe they will be able to do a lot of the work themselves, though. I agreed to get them some mass murderers they've been trying to arrest, in exchange for Cam. Maybe I will bring those by, notify them of another change in custody, and then Cam can be free till the trial."

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"That'd be nice."

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"I will also just snap the binding right now if you ask me to."

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"I think I will go eat something from Bar and go to my room and nap. If the time dilation is friendly you might not be inconveniencing me at all to look properly straitlaced."

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Nod. "Ambela - nice to properly meet you, incidentally - are the Valar available for arrest excursions?"

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"Some of them may be -" She asks.

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The Valar are willing to be more interventionist in daeva relations if that's what their Elven advisors think their role should be, but they are not especially inclined to hand people over to human authorities who seem uncertain of whether their prisoners are really people.

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She relays this. "Will they settle for the opportunity to verify that we have them in custody like with Cam?"

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"I don't know but if they're displeased they're displeased, so be it. Maybe I can invite them to your Taniquetil to discuss it with the Valar if they're upset."

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"That would be interesting."

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"With my set it'd be a terrible idea. If it'd be a terrible idea with yours I will not do it."

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"It's not terrible but I'm not sure it would soothe people from Revelation with no reason to be impressed by the Valar."

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"They're - scared. There's a lot more to it than that but - fundamentally they think they are the protectors standing against hostile forces that cannot be reasoned with in defense of the innocent and - there are a lot of human things Elves just wouldn't do but the way Revelation treats daeva isn't really one of them. And the - point of the Valar, if I am to concede that they have one after having orchestrated the murder of my whole set - is to build spaces where people don't have to be scared, and are better for it. I don't know that it'd work, but it might get somewhere."

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Are we talking about how horrible Ganymede is because Ganymede is horrible.

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(Timothy comes through the door with him, thanks the angel.)

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"Yes, that's what we're talking about. I wouldn't have had you see it, honestly."

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"I am really glad I did, I want to go back, the people there need me some of them are very lonely."

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"It's safe to try sending people to visit ours if you would like to." She scoops up Mingling and hugs him.

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Such hugs. "It's a very ugly place and they're not allowed to go near anyone and they're not allowed to hug anyone unless a stranger who has never met them and can't talk to them wants to hug them just because anything's better than being completely alone. They can't talk. They can't sing. They can't write. They can't make new files on the computer. They can't pick out letters on a board. They are not very good people but I think after ten Years in that place I would not be a very good person either."

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"The angels and fairies can talk and write, they're not just being gratuitously terrible. And the architecture is unremarkable by human standards."

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"They could train their staff to not give demons their souls and then let the demons talk and write. They are too being gratuit- gratuit -"

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"They are not being as good as they could possibly be. But apart from the gagging it's nicer than even a low security prison from during my lifetime."

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"Well if there are any of those around I'll visit those too."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Less prison violence seems obviously not worth the 'no human contact' tradeoff to me."

Permalink Mark Unread

"If there had been any fellow inmates I wanted to hug I could've nodded encouragingly at them. Didn't you think it was precious that the furniture angel got visitors?"

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"Oh, it's miles above my world - except the gags, I know people who'd take Azkaban over a gag - but I've known since I was five that I needed to conquer my world. When you have the resources they have you should be able to do more than impress a teenager from 1802."

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"Fair enough."

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"Thank you for getting him out."

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"Of course. Honestly I'd have been all the more frantic to do it if I hadn't thought so highly of him."

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"...why?" He is halfway through his lunch from Bar.

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"Some people might feel entitled to mention that they resurrected the people they stand accused of murdering, in a trial, and if they weren't letting you talk..."

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"I mean. I didn't get them all and they don't have fine sentencing gradations for a million versus fifty-five."

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"I wasn't worried you'd say. I did try observing to someone that since you wouldn't say a serious miscarriage of justice would occur but they didn't seem very moved by that."

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"I'm pointing out that even if I didn't care what would happen to anyone else if I said that, it wouldn't be useful."

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"It'll be relevant for the Valinor version. We're thinking of having the Valar go to Hell and make it not work anymore, then it doesn't really matter what people learn."

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Nod.

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"I don't want to demand a show trial or anything, but the Valinor version is not ending with Cam sentenced to some obnoxious set of restrictions, right -"

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"We keep Melkor under conditions substantially better than Ganymede's."

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"Does he have people to talk to?"

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"Yeah, he does."

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"I can't claim to fancy a stint in VR but perhaps that's not what you meant."

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"I really really don't think they'll find you guilty but even if they did the only thing you've been up to that I see it interfering with is the Melkor-killing."

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"Which somebody else can pick up."

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"Yeah." Sigh. "Cam, do you have suggestions on how the Valar should - persuade people to accept a summons - without being horrible, they won't want to be horrible."

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"Well, having a couple hundred open is more annoying than I'd expected. So maybe not that. I'm not sure."

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"Who're the people they wanted you to grab?"

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He has files; he hands them over.

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Scary fairy who went around torturing people to death, couple of angels who set things on fire and performed unwanted cosmetic alterations on people, couple demons one of whom took hostages and demanded the de-chiplocking of some unreleased manuscripts and killed off a hostage when the author refused before the summoner could be found, the other of whom blew up a space station.

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"I do not foresee them objecting to those people being arrested. There are already circles out for them, right, maybe they can just show up and tell them that taking the circle is a better idea than not doing that."

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"Yes, there are already circles out for them and they add new ones occasionally so they can't just take an isolated later one and know it's a friendly one; that's what got me."

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Shiver. "How long were you there before we found you -"

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"I took their circle right when you laid down your second one, realized there were two new ones a moment too late."

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Hug.

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Hug. "I love you."

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"I love you. It's really convenient, being able to talk to you without Mingling mediating."

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"Was I not good at it?"

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"You were great at it but that well-intentioned lady would have had a legitimate complaint with me if I'd had you relay Cam questions about what we were going to do for privacy if he was stuck there for eighty years."

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"...she would have?"

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"Well-intentioned lady?'

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"There were doubts about whether I was raising a small child appropriately."

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"It should've occurred to me, just because I know Elves don't need that much food or sleep..."

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"Should have occurred to me too. I was keeping an eye out for whether Mingling knew his limits but not for whether an outside observer would think we were staying within them."

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"Well she didn't kidnap me. I liked her, she treated me like I was bigger. Maybe I should write her and tell her I'm home okay?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"She might appreciate that."

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So he writes her a note saying that he is home from Ganymede and happy because Ganymede was a sad place but he's probably going back soon, as long as there are people there who can't talk. And he has Cadillac (he didn't take Cadillac to Ganymede in case they died along the way and it was too hard to retrieve her).

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"She would find this note pretty confusing, kiddo."

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"If I say 'also Timothy has stopped lighting things on fire when he's mad and my other cousin gets along really well with his boyfriend he bought so they bought his sister and in a few months my parents will be done making necklaces and I can tell them all about it' would she kidnap me."

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"Uh, yes."

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"You don't buy mages you buy their contracts, the difference admittedly doesn't translate to material power to not lead their lives as they're told but it is a difference."

Permalink Mark Unread

"There usually isn't money in boyfriend things at all."

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"I know."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Do you want help with a more reassuring note?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Yeah. Dunno what reassures humans."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Well, she was worried that you weren't eating and sleeping. You could tell her what you had last time you ate and maybe include a picture of the house your family has out back and say you're home now and slept in it."

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The revised note says,

Hi! Thank you for coming to check on me on Ganymede. I am home now but I might go back to Ganymede soon because there are people there who can't talk and it's not okay. Today I had pancakes and apple pie and I slept in my own bed and it was cozy. You seemed nice so I wanted to tell you that I was okay. Also Timothy's boyfriend Cam can talk now and that's really good.

Love,

Mingling

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"That will probably reassure her just fine. Maybe less than if you didn't draw attention to the fact that your babysitter is dating a demon criminal but that did not seem like her focus."

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"I think she was nice and wouldn't have kidnapped me even if you'd hugged me," he says, "but I can scratch that part. Also I should learn Greek because Timothy said I spoke it and now I need to eat pancakes and apple pie and then sleep in my bed so that part's true."

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"I am sure Bar can do pancakes and apple pie."

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Yes she can.

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Then off he goes to bed.

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Varda's free to go chat with a fairy who tortured lots of people to death, if some fairy will open the door for her and presuming she can nope the telekinesis.

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Some fairy can be found to cooperate with the experiment and if that goes well with the door-opening.

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And?

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She can arrest moving objects in their tracks, but is warned that if she does that as an area effect and not a specific counter then the fairy's neighbors, if any, will be irritated.

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She is mostly interested in whether she can prevent the fairy from just fleeing the conversation.

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Yup.

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"I'm going to leave a little attention here so I can ask questions about the fairy's whereabouts, if they have changed," she says, and then splits into two identical women. One goes through the door and off to find the fairy.

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The fairy lives in a far-flung town up a mountain.

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She can't move as fast as a fairy, but she can get pretty close. Up the mountain she goes.

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His house is in the middle of a stack of houses, each with doors opening to midair.

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She knocks.

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He does not answer. His downstairs neighbor pokes her head out the window and says something in a fairy language.

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Don't speak the language, sorry. Do you know when he'll be back?

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The fairy is scared and retreats inside.

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The bit of her attention still in Milliways asks Minor where the fairy they're looking for is.

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He checks.

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He's at home asleep in bed.

Another neighbor flies in and sees her and says something in a fairy language.

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I'm sorry, I don't speak the language. Can I help you?

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"Yeep!" says the fairy. She zooms away.

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Perhaps eventually there will be an adventurous fairy or this one will wake up. She is very patient. She waits. She considers a while and decides not to send any attention inside.

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The next fairy to swing by doesn't flee when addressed telepathically! She says What the fuck?!?!?!?

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I'm sorry for startling you. I am Varda, I'm a god from a nearby dimension. I'm not reading your mind or anything, just communicating this way.

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God from a nearby dimension? The fuck?!

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There are a lot of worlds, and mine recently learned of yours. We can make portals to travel between dimensions.

Permalink Mark Unread

Why are you hovering outside Jake's doorway?

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He tortured a lot of people to death and I wanted to ask him about that. We might not want to make portals if people are going to do that kind of thing.

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That's not any of your fucking business, back off.

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My world has people. They don't want to be tortured to death. I could avoid bothering Jake if you had the information I need and wanted to help me.

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Why should we care if you make a fucking portal? Go home and don't make a portal, see if we care.

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I might while I am here stop Jake from torturing people to death in the future, unless there's a really good reason not to do that.

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It's none of your business!

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Were those peoples' lives Jake's business?

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Leave him alone! Nobody wants you here!

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Some people asked me to come here. I believe you that you don't want me here.

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It's not any of 'some people's' business either. And she tries to yank Varda away from the door.

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Doesn't work. It seems like at a minimum the business of the people who were tortured to death.

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You're not one of them!

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I am not. I share your conviction that people should mostly leave other people alone, and I can see how it would seem totally unfair for someone from a different world to arrive to meddle in something that is not their concern. But the right to be left alone doesn't apply if you aren't leaving other people alone. And if Jake can assure me that he isn't going to torture any more people to death then I will happily return to minding my business.

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I don't care if you're a god, you aren't entitled to come demand he account for himself to you.

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And he is not entitled to torture people to death.

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Which he's not doing, which you must know or you wouldn't be looking for him at home.

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I would like to know if he is likely to do it again when he next gets the chance.

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You want to know if you should open a fucking portal! Go ahead and don't! Shoo!

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Well, no, I also want to know if he takes summons and summoners in random worlds can expect to be tortured to death. 

Permalink Mark Unread

He didn't hurt a hair on his summoner's head! Don't you even do research before you go bother strangers at home?

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I apologize. Do you want to tell me what happened, so I can more informedly discuss it with him?

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I thought I was being real fucking clear that I want you to go away!

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And I hope I was being equally clear that I am not going to do that. So given that I am going to stay here until Jake wakes up, and then talk to him, what would you like to do?

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Go fuck yourself with everything in the architecture museum and die in a fire!

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Where is the architecture museum?

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Elfame!

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She splits in two and sends some of her attention off towards the architecture museum. The rest of her stays there.

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Did you just literally go to Elfame, are you fucking dense?

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I sent some attention there. I can be a lot of places at once. If you wanted to watch or something you could go catch up, I don't travel as fast as a fairy.

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What the actual fuck is wrong with you?!

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I am sorry that I'm upsetting you.

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Then leave Jake alone, bitch!

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I hope that the outcome of our conversation is that I feel confident in doing exactly that.

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The fairy goes in Jake's window.

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That's fine. If they try to leave together she will stop them.

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The female fairy leaves alone a bit later and then comes back with groceries.

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She asks Minor if Jake is still asleep.

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No, he's awake now.

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Jake? I'd like to speak with you, and I don't really want you to feel unable to leave your house for a hundred years. Can we talk?

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No response.

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She'll wait a couple years, at least, and work on other projects in the meantime.

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His friend keeps coming and going with stuff.

The proprietors of the architecture museum definitely do not want her to fuck herself with any of its exhibits and explain that the person who yelled at her probably didn't want that either.

Permalink Mark Unread

She appreciates the clarification. She sends some attention to Heaven to find those angels who were doing unwanted modifications of people and so on.

Permalink Mark Unread

Heaven is basically a fluffy cave system. One of the angels lives in a very large cave with a city in it but the other lives in a small cave.

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She will visit both at once.

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Arson angel is in the little cave. Cosmetic angel is working at a salon and with a client.

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Hello, she says to arson angel. There is an outstanding warrant for your arrest on charges of arson and I wanted to speak with you about it.

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"Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!" says arson angel.

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I don't mean to scare you. I want to resolve this in a way that is satisfying to you, if that is possible. 

Permalink Mark Unread

"Aaaaaaaaaaaah!"

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She will just wait, how about that. 

 

She waits to talk to the angel in the salon until they are done in the salon.

Permalink Mark Unread

The arson angel cringes for a while, then attempts to tunnel out the back of his cave.

The salon angel works for a while and then leaves work for the day.

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She does not want the arson angel to tunnel out of his cave; that should stop working.

 

 

Hello, she says to the salon angel, There is an outstanding warrant for your arrest on charges of altering people without their consent and I wanted to speak with you about it.

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The arson angel goes "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

The salon angel says something in an angel language.

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If you'd rather answer your summons to answer these charges, you can do thatshe tells the de-angeled angel.

I don't speak your language, but you can answer me like this, she tells the other one.

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The arson angel sobs into the fluffy wall of his cave.

What do you have to say? asks the salon angel.

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I recently made contact with the human world that tries to do justice in these cases. I would like to see it done better, which involves making it surer that people who commit crimes answer for them but also making it surer that the punishment is not excessive and not disruptive to those pursuits of yours that don't involve harming other people.

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I see, says the salon angel, continuing on her way home.

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If there are extenuating circumstances or other information I should have about what you did, I would like to hear it. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Does your legal system entitle me to representation?

Permalink Mark Unread

It does. 

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Then I don't think I had better talk to you until that's sorted out.

Permalink Mark Unread

Nothing you say to me will be used as evidence, but that is a very reasonable preference. I will accompany you while you arrange representation, unless you intend to do that by answering the summons for you.

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You are not welcome in my home and not entitled to listen in on my interactions with counsel, and it may take me some time to find anyone with expertise in your legal system with an interest in representing me.

Permalink Mark Unread

I am concerned that if I do not follow you around you might forget to be working on those arrangements, but I am happy to stay outside your home and not listen to your conversations.

Permalink Mark Unread

I believe most jurisdictions also consider stalking a crime.

Permalink Mark Unread

Lots of conduct is permitted in order to serve an arrest warrant which is not otherwise permitted. I am not sure what purpose it serves for us to educate each other on our respective understandings of different legal systems. Would you prefer that we both remain here while you arrange for counsel? That is feasible.

Permalink Mark Unread

Perhaps you could tell me who is an expert on legal proceedings which involve extradimensional enforcers? I was expecting them to be hard to come by.

Permalink Mark Unread

I think it is typical to arrange a lawyer once you show up. I can recommend you some but it wouldn't be safe for them here, they're incarnates.

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But if the selection of representation is inadequate in some way I will find myself already trapped and bound whether anyone eventually produces a lawyer or not.

Permalink Mark Unread

That seems like a serious drawback to the human system. Do you have suggestions on how it could be modified to resolve that?

Permalink Mark Unread

That doesn't seem like my job.

Permalink Mark Unread

It might be mine. I'll consult some people about that. 

 

The Varda in Milliways finds Ambela.

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Backyard, singing. "Hello, how's it going?"

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No one has decided to participate in a legal remediation process yet. One person raised a complaint which seemed legitimate to me, which is that once they accept the summons to engage with the justice system, if they then cannot find adequate counsel  - or, presumably, if they desire to call anyone in the daeva realms to testify - they are still trapped there under the binding. I was trying to think of a process that avoids this drawback.

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"If they can be guaranteed safe to be around with some application of magic they could be brought through the Milliways door."

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I can suppress daeva abilities. I do not think Revelation would want them under those conditions but we could take them.

Permalink Mark Unread

"It might suffice for the trial? The bindings they normally use have to pull double duty."

Permalink Mark Unread

Yes, part of the problem is that the bindings that are reasonable for awaiting and preparing for trial are not necessarily the same ones as are ideal for long term sentencing but Revelation can't expect that a daeva dismissed for their sentencing binding would return. What if we had an area of our world where daeva abilities did not work and where they were constrained to remain, but could otherwise act freely, including reading at their leisure about our legal system, interviewing potential attorneys, and so on, and it was understood that they could opt out of the trial process and return home if they agreed to do so under a binding that prohibited taking summons, and nothing else...

Permalink Mark Unread

"That sounds very humane."

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I bet we could set something like that up. Can you think of improvements?

Permalink Mark Unread

It's possible they are dependent on daeva abilities to the point where they'd be seriously disabled without - it wouldn't surprise me if some fairies never bothered learning to walk, for one thing. Can you be selective?

Permalink Mark Unread

...could probably permit uses of magic on yourself without permitting uses on others, but a fairy using themself as a battering ram could still do a lot of damage.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Maybe a moat of magicless area, large enough to bleed off momentum - and an effect to ground ships - but principally house them somewhere it works."

Permalink Mark Unread

Would any of the daeva types be able to do violence to the others, with that arrangement -

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"Within the limits of their indestructibility, which is the limit they have at home too. Demons and angels might find being around fairies inconvenient if they were moved around, though."

Permalink Mark Unread

That might be easier to remedy as it comes up.

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"Yes, some separate area for unneighborly fairies with its own moat."

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I'll get to work on it. Thank you. Let me know of other concerns you think of.

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"I will, of course."

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I think I have it figured out, she says brightly to the angel, and describes the arrangement.

Permalink Mark Unread

That seems like it would interrupt my employment. Angel employers aren't accustomed to this sort of thing.

Permalink Mark Unread

You could take the option to return here immediately under a binding that only prohibited taking future summons, and not miss any work.

Permalink Mark Unread

That's agreeable in principle but I have no particular reason to trust you.

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. While I'm getting everything set up I will consider ways we can demonstrate the trustworthiness of the system before it has time to establish itself.

Permalink Mark Unread

Are you planning to stalk me in the meantime?

Permalink Mark Unread

Oh, it shouldn't take me very long, I can do five hundred things at once. But if you want I can come find you again in ten minutes.

Permalink Mark Unread

It seems disingenuous to frame this as having to do with what I want.

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I apologize! I would feel more badly if you were claiming you didn't modify a bunch of people without consent.

Permalink Mark Unread

I don't really want to discuss that with someone whose interest in the matter is as yours seems to be.

Permalink Mark Unread

Perfectly reasonable. See you soon.

Permalink Mark Unread

The angel sighs.

(Meanwhile, the fairy is still hiding in his house and the arson angel is still bawling in his cave.)

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She informs them too of the revised system for handling of daeva accused of crimes in other jurisdictions!

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"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH," says arson angel.

Fairy continues to ignore her. His girlfriend makes what is probably a rude gesture.

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Well soon she'll have it set up and then she will consult her soul alt and then -

- all three of them are in a different location! It's a fairly boring planet with no atmosphere but a portal to downtown Tirion. There's an antimagic field around the portal.

There! she says pleasedly.

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"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH,"

wails the arson angel.

Jake yelps and tries for altitude to see where he is.

What? What! I was perfectly civil! What is this! exclaims the cosmetic angel, affronted and alarmed.

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You were! But you wanted to know why you could trust me when I said the only binding would be 'don't take more summons', and the best way of demonstrating I could think of was demonstrating that I do not need you to take a summons for any conceivable purpose. If you go over there it's a portal to one of my cities, but your magic doesn't work. With that demonstrated, I will put you back now -

- and she does, and leaves some of her attention there -

and I'll set up a summons for you, how about that.

Permalink Mark Unread

That is not what trust normally means!

Permalink Mark Unread

I intend to build trust the more conventional way, but I need to start somewhere. 

Elsewhere she asks Ambela to ask Cam about bindings for rerelease into Heaven.

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Cam emerges from his room on request. "I've been doing slightly more elaborate bindings than not taking summonses. They could get Milliways doors," he says, "in theory."

Permalink Mark Unread

I agree that bindings should cover that.

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He shows her what he's been doing for their syncing circles; it's worded to confine the daeva to their home realms.

Permalink Mark Unread

That looks good. Could Ambela draw it?

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"I don't see why not."

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I can let you watch your summoner draw the circle, if you want, Varda tells the salon angel helpfully.

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Thank you, says salon angel icily.

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Picture! Of Ambela drawing the circle!

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The angel reads the binding and glares at Varda and appears when summoned and marches through the magic door back into Heaven.

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Meanwhile she is explaining the arrangement to the other two again.

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The arson angel is absolutely miserable with terror.

Jake is trying to escape and stymied by the moat.

Permalink Mark Unread

Well. Jake can go through the moat if he wants, he'll just have to walk. She'll leave some attention here in case either of them want to talk with her.

Permalink Mark Unread

There appears to be nothing they want less.

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Ah well. She solicits soul alt help in setting up another moat-and-portal from her planetoid to Ganymede, walks over to the arcology, knocks.

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...The person at the front desk frowns at her and does some thing that is not opening the airlock.

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She is not in a hurry. She waits. 

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Eventually a fairy exits the building, accompanied by some air. "Hello. Unaccompanied daeva..." she blinks at the possibly not a daeva person... "are, uh, not allowed in the compound... you're not a daeva but you're standing around in vacuum by yourself, so..."

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I'm a minor deity from the Elf world, sorry, we were negotiating a role in prison handling with local authorities. I did not intend to cause you alarm. 

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"I don't think they were expecting you here."

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Here is where their prison is. I can put the portal somewhere else if that's more convenient.

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"The portal -? I'm the security fairy, I'm kind of out of the loop, what's going on?"

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You've heard about the Elves? 

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"No. They don't tell me much, they just sent me out because I can go out without suiting up."

Permalink Mark Unread

Ah. About two years ago, a demon was accidentally summoned to an alien world by an alien child. The aliens had faster than light travel, but had not heard of summoning; they had not found humanity and did not even know they should be looking. Shortly thereafter they sent emissaries to Earth. Among the many avenues of cooperation between the species which are now being pursued, the humans were hopeful that the alien gods - of which I am one - could aid them in bringing to justice daeva who commit serious violent crimes on Earth and do not answer a summons to answer for them. We can do that; we can traverse the realms safely. 

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"Okay... but the ones here did answer."

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Yes. Having retrieved them for you, portaling here so they could interface normally with your justice system seemed more natural than portaling to Earth or somewhere. I can move the portal if they want.

Permalink Mark Unread

 

"I'll go tell the boss and they might let you in but they might wanna talk to some people first."

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I am not in a hurry.

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The fairy goes in. The fairy talks to the boss. The boss talks to some people. Some people ask Maitimo if this is an expected behavior.

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"- no, but it's not alarming? You can tell her to move or close the portal. They're gods, they're pretty autonomous, but they won't react badly to correction."

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Why is there even a portal. What's going on.

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"There was an inquiry about them catching criminals for you. It seems the way they saw fit to do that was to yank the criminals to a random planet somewhere and then make that planet accessible to yours. Were you expecting them to coerce them into accepting the summons? That is not really the way they operate."

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But then are the yanked criminals bound at all? They can't have them running around unbound on Ganymede, Ganymede is designed to hold strictly bound prisoners.

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He suspects that this is handled safely, but they would have to ask the Valar exactly how.

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So the idea is that the GCP will go confirm that the criminals are caught?

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"They asked to be able to confirm that, yes."

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So they let Varda in and ask how the safety is being managed without bindings.

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In a buffer zone surrounding the portal or if they cross through it they can't use any magic. You shouldn't go through, the other side's vacuum and not safe for humans even apart from the daeva.

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"If we're not supposed to go through, how are we to verify that you have them?"

Permalink Mark Unread

- do humans have really bad vision or something? I can lend you mine. And now they can see astonishingly far, very clearly, and see a couple of distraught daeva. But also you could conjure for it, presumably. Or have daeva staff go through.

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They look. They thank her politely. They ask her where the other angel and the two demons they wanted are.

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Haven't got them yet, in the case of the demons; already agreed to go home under a binding prohibiting her from ever leaving Heaven, in the case of the angel. That I understand you can see from the summoner?

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"Yes; we can tell you haven't summoned anyone."

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Oh, no, Ambela did. I don't think I could. I don't think I'm relevantly a person.

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"Where is Ambela?"

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Milliways, at the moment. I could ask her here.

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"We actually need to see her next to the criminal she summoned to verify the binding applies to that one."

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Define 'next to'.

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"...Usually it's 'have to see them both at the same time' but I don't know how that interacts with the vision thing you're doing."

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Let me see if I can manage it with portals so as not to yank people between planets again. 

 

And she consults her soul alt and after some wrangling there are view-only portals to the angel in Heaven and to Ambela in Tirion - Ambela will you please step through into Tirion Milliways doesn't let us do this kind of nonsense -

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Ambela obliges.

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Does looking through two portals at once do it?

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No. Also now the salon angel is annoyed about being unexpectedly viewed at home; she thought she was done with this.

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Can they conjure for the salon angel's current summoner.

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Yes, but that just tells them that she looks like this person. They don't want to be fooled by twins or anything.

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She thinks they are being a bit ridiculous and if they don't want to accept this as confirmation then they can consider the arrest unconfirmed. She's going to go get the demons now.

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Elsewhere, GCP representatives complain to Maitimo that this is not what they had in mind when they dismissed the demon who holed a planet on his say-so.

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"I'm really sorry to hear that. One nonviolent offender you were unable to arrest has now been arrested in a manner which is not compatible with extant verification procedures? That sounds, to be honest with you, like the kind of complication entirely typical of attempting to integrate two justice systems and expand law enforcement capacities to three new dimensions. I've been elsewhile impressed by your contingency planning; am I right in assuming you had a contingency plan for complications like an unconfirmed rearrest due to differences in procedures?"

 

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"We consider rearranging people's faces to the point where their families can't recognize them a violent crime whether it's done by magic or scalpel," says the representative. "We were expecting that if someone is arrested, they could be presented for noninvasive parlor trick confirmation of their bindings whatever the standards of prisoner treatment might be. If she can't be shown standing next to her summoner safely bound, she has not been arrested, she's been let off with a warning. If we can't assume you'll securely hold prisoners we can't reasonably cooperate with you on, well, holding prisoners."

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"Keeping prisoners in their native realms is significantly more secure than any binding; no occasion could conceivably arise that would tempt the summoner to snap the binding or dismiss the daeva early, the prisoners are not in contact with anyone who it is possible for them to harm, and cooperation with law enforcement on the part of the daeva is substantially improved. We can work with you on mutually satisfactory verification procedures, but I hope we are not in disagreement about whether, assuming the prisoner is contained as described, she is securely held." 

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"You should have explained that this was the plan in advance."

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"I think you may be misunderstanding our relationship with the gods. They're gods. They do what they want. They are responsive to objections, but to a point. It will be damaging to future cooperation between our peoples if you treat them as the law enforcement branch of my staff."

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"We'd been led to believe that we were arranging a cooperative prisoner exchange so that we could be assured of - assured of is not merely told about - the safe containment of some particularly difficult criminals in exchange for the extradition of a demon principally responsible for damage within your jurisdiction, not that we were dealing with hostile divine forces," says the representative. "By all means clarify if that's not the case."

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"You are dealing with divine forces who are benevolent but possibly hard to shuffle through red tape. Is the complaint that the summoner who has been verified to have summoned a daeva under a binding, the same binding that the daeva has been verified to be under, could actually have a twin who is the summoner of the daeva in question? Can you just conjure for twins of Ambela and confirm that there aren't any?"

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"That question would be much less disingenuous if the criminal we can't verify were not a cosmetic angel."

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"You know the binding the daeva is under. You have no information about the summoner except that she is an Elf. I honestly do not understand what additional information you get from seeing them standing in the same place."

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"You have a point; given the ability to traverse worlds by portal the binding is completely inadequate regardless of who's maintaining it."

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"The binding prohibits traversing worlds by portal or by any other means including ones yet undiscovered."

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"And leaves completely unprotected any nondaeva who might enter Heaven."

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"Yep. Unless you bind everyone in every daeva realm, and possibly even if you did, landing there as an incarnate would very likely be lethal; we aren't setting up any portals to the daeva realms, but we aren't the only form of interdimensional travel around and it's possible that someone will accidentally find themselves in a daeva realm. If they do, there is no conceivable binding on a few hundred criminals which would save them."

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"I see now that we were hasty in agreeing to anything at all."

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"I regret that you feel that way. Should I ask the Valar to stop collecting criminals?"

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"If they'll listen to you."

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"They are likelier to do so if I can convince them that the safety of your world or ours is somehow improved by their letting these people go. I assume you think that is the case; can you explain to me why?"

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"We do frequently manage to catch stubborn daeva by adding circles and our procedures are definitively safe once they're caught."

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"You've done very well with the resources you have. I expect a less disruptive system has a much higher compliance rate, and from the talk you gave me about close calls with snapped bindings you made it very clear that's a serious concern, one our method obviates."

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"We haven't had a close call in fifty years."

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"I'm three thousand years old, so forgive me if that doesn't seem very long."

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"What I mean to say is that the procedures have been changed and it's no longer a serious problem."

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"I understand why you would be reluctant to switch from a method that works to a different one, even if there's every reason to expect it'd work just as well. But it seems possible there have been more close calls than you realized - for example, I followed up on the question someone asked me about activists who looked like me, and there was an unbound demon running around with the activists for a while..."

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"There was?" asks the representative, alarmed.

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"Yeah - I can show you my forensic conjurations or you can do your own, but the demon is named Minor Finis Way, his summoner was in yet another dimension - not mine or yours - and he signed up for a bunch of appointments and hung out for a few days before leaving for Earth, where he went back to his native dimension."

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"Was this one of the children, they might have forgotten to check children, we know daeva sometimes appear to be children but they so seldom do -"

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"Yeah, looks around fifteen. Obviously he was benignly intentioned but if he hadn't been you might have had a problem."

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"Excuse me, I need to send a memo."

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"Of course. We can continue our discussion later."

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He rushes off.

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He gets back to work with less frustrating people.

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She grabs the demons with outstanding warrants and explains the system to them!

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Explosions demon protests that his summoner wouldn't let him go home. Hostages demon thinks Varda maybe does not understand the vital importance of the Pegasus Cycle books and anyway the hostage went to Heaven.

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These defenses can be presented at trial! But she will endeavor to explain to the hostages demon that being murdered is terrible even if you continue existing, because you miss out on things like watching your children and grandchildren grow up, and you have loved ones you never get to see again, and your family thinks you're gone forever and grieves, would the demon like to know what the emotion of intense grief is like, Varda found it useful when someone helped her with that.

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The demon declines. Would Varda like to know what the first two Pegasus Cycle books are like.

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Yes!

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The demon hands them to her.

Explosions demon thinks it's unfair to have a trial for the explosions and not have a trial for keeping a demon who just wanted to go home.

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She agrees! She can look into whether that person has been put on trial.

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Person is in Fairyland. Explosion, you see.

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Well, then it sounds like they definitely experienced the consequences of their actions. 

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If going to a daeva realm is enough consequence for actions then the explosions demon did too.

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Dying, and thereby losing contact with all your loved ones forever, is traumatic, she just tried explaining this to the other demon, does this one want to know what it feels like.

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Being stuck on a space station is very like that what with the no contact with loved ones! Ahem!

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Being stuck on a space station is not forever. How long had he been stuck?

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A week and the summoner was not budging at all!

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Was there any way to kill just the summoner and not all of the innocent people on the spaceship?

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No, he had to do fancy physics things to get an explosion within the binding.

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Those sound like mitigating circumstances and she expects they will be taken into account. 

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Well, the demon doesn't want to count on that.

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Well, the alternative is agreeing to a binding to not take summons any more.

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The demon does not want to count on that being the thing she says it is.

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The demon can stay here and think about it as long as he likes. He can even make things, if he wants. 

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He hasn't even taken a summon in twenty years, that was the only one, he decided it was a bad idea when his summoner trapped him, she's confusing and scary and he wants to go home.

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It doesn't sound like agreeing not to take summons again will be a problem.

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He will happily agree not to take a summons he doesn't want to take any summonses that includes this one she's trying to get him to take!

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Unfortunately people are not always honest and she can't take their word for it about not taking summonses. Plus he could grab one by accident, doesn't he have all those circles open for him now?

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Yes it's terrible. He can't take her word for things either though.

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If she wanted to leave him unable to use his magic she wouldn't need to trick him into taking a summons. 

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He is less concerned about being demagicked than about being trapped again it was terrible he has nightmares.

Permalink Mark Unread

It sounds terrible. Maybe he wants to go into Tirion and talk to an attorney?

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No he wants to go HOME. H-O-M-E.

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She'll be over here if he has any questions.

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He just wants to go home he won't hurt anybody he just wants to go home why won't she let him go home.

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Because he won't agree to then take a summons keeping him there. It'll make all the annoying open summons go away, too, he won't have to worry about accidentally grabbing one.

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He hasn't! They've been there for a couple decades and he's never grabbed one!

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She is aware! They must be annoying, though.

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They're terrible and why should he think she's not just trying to get him to take one that's exactly the same so he will be TRAPPED FOREVER?

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Because if she wanted him trapped forever she would just do that. But she doesn't want that, it's horrible and cruel.

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Then why won't she just send him home he wasn't doing anything bad.

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Other people are scared too; they're scared he'll do it again. This way means no one needs to be scared ever again.

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He is scared RIGHT NOW.

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She has noticed. Being scared might explain why you hurt other people, and it might be reassuring on the question of whether you'll hurt other people again, but it doesn't mean that there will be no consequences for hurting other people. 

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Is she going to experience any consequences for kidnapping him? Or that poor screaming angel, what did she do to him, that's very alarming come to think of it.

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She brought him here, same as the demon. 

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He's kind of screaming like she tortured him or something.

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Well, she didn't. 

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The demon is not super sure of that. He will go sit with the screamy angel and be upset.

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She'll keep waiting.

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He waits for the GCP people to verify that they had an unbound demon running around.

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They determine that the demon was not technically unbound but was definitely inadequately bound and not escorted by his summoner. If Maitimo knew about this why didn't he say?

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He had no idea at the time, obviously. After he was asked if he knew the activists who looked like him, he had some forensic conjurations done because he was curious, and that's when he found out, and he was composing a summary of the evidence he'd discovered to send to them when they came to him about the Valar.

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Ugh.

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He's sure they won't repeat the mistake. They should let him know if they need anything. 

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They don't seem inclined to consider him a helpful source of any anything at the moment.

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That's fine. There are lots of other human polities to talk to.

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The GCP is not technically a polity and they have complained about him to everybody but many people are willing to ignore them.

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He is increasingly thinking that the GCP needs to be dismantled rather than reformed; they are not, narrowly construed, bad at their jobs, but the jobs are no longer necessary and they are terrible at dealing with complicated situational factors and probably a significant driver of the 'demons need to be gagged' thing.

He asks Minor if he'd have fun making a video about the prank he pulled on the GCP by visiting as a demon. 

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"The idea is, like, people don't take them seriously and also watch a video in which a demon is basically a normal fifteen year old boy?"

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"Well, do try for 'likable but definitely incapable of soul-stealing fifteen year old boy.' But yes, I would find that entertaining and I'm making no headway any other way."

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He pulls surveillance camera footage and watches lots of extranet celebrities and consults Cam.

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Cam can be extracted from his room. "Can I be dismissed and resummoned yet?"

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"The GCP is doubling down on being jackasses because sending bound daeva back home is not anywhere in their procedural handbook. I think Maitimo is currently inclined to give up on getting along with them, which means he can dismiss you if he pleases, but if you have a different take we should probably share it first."

Permalink Mark Unread

"What's the upshot for the inmates on giving up getting along with them?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Means not much chance of getting them transferred to a more humane arrangement but Maitimo basically doesn't think there's any chance of that anyway. They will probably continue allowing visitors, possibly with more hurdles, and the soul Elves've all agreed to keep visiting."

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"Well, they can be fetched when their summoners die maybe. How are the Valar doing with the ones they were trying to catch?"

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He looks at the note - "daeva seem fairly freaked out, Varda politely asked someone whether daeva wanted for crimes are disproportionately mentally ill or whether daeva are just like that...guy who blew up a space station would probably be completely fine to send home without a binding but doesn't trust her..."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I'm sure they're disproportionately mentally ill. Being an unexpected nondaeva in the daeva realms is probably not helping, I could talk to the demons if she wants but probably can't help with angels or fairies. Maybe she should hire native messengers till word gets out?"

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"Probably a good idea, you should write her with it. She stopped hanging out in the daeva realms because it was scaring people and just grabs them now, I think. Maitimo thinks one possible way to improve Revelation attitudes about demons is to go make media for consumption in Revelation in which I am a demon and also a relatable teenager. I shouldn't actually go into Revelation because people'll freak out, but making and releasing videos doesn't give them anything to ill-advisedly nuke."

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"I guess that might go over."

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"I wanted to show you what I've got so you could correct for cultural differences." They're all about three minutes long. Minor's brother is trying to raise a dozen genetically engineered baby dragons! one is titled. It contains Minor grousing about not being a vending machine and Minor making demonic food and heated rocks for baby dragons.

Minor is trying to come up with a present for a girl he likes!

Minor is trying to invent something that'll clean his room for him!

Minor is planning a fireworks show!

Minor takes summons!

Minor goes to demon jail! 

Permalink Mark Unread

"Miranda is going to figure it out if you publish this one. Is this supposed to coincide with an explanation about ex-summoner daeva?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Is there a reason that's a secret?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Not really but it's the sort of thing you'd want to plan."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I will talk with Maitimo about planning it. The videos hit the right note?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Yeah, they're cute little vlogs. Miranda will totally figure it out."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I can omit that one."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Or don't, just be advised."

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Nod. "I can not show her that one, she's probably not going to be checking the Revelation extranet." 

 

 

He consults Maitimo about letting it become known that ex-summoners become daeva. 

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"If it helps with the humanizing thing I'm all in favor. Maybe don't announce it, though, let people wonder and then do conjuration and figure it out and have some control over where they go from there."

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Shortly after that Minor helping with baby dragons is available online.

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It gets several million hits. People figure it's a gimmick promotion for something and do not believe he is a real demon, it's probably special effects or an offscreen demon.

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That's okay. He releases the next one a few days later.

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Have any daeva calmed down?

Permalink Mark Unread

The scared demon has managed to calm down the scared angel. Jake is zooming back and forth, still pissed off. Hostage demon wants to know if Varda understands how important the sequel to those books is yet.

Permalink Mark Unread

They were lovely books. It's not okay to murder people over good stories; her world grappled at length with that question. 

Permalink Mark Unread

"But if the author'd died without unchiplocking them then she would've turned up in Limbo with no chip and no way to install one and the sequel would be lost! Forever!"

Permalink Mark Unread

If it was important enough to murder people over, it was important enough to serve a prison sentence for murder over, right?

Permalink Mark Unread

"But she didn't even unchiplock the book!!!"

Permalink Mark Unread

Well, of course not! I commend her for that! If she had, then people would learn they could get things they wanted by murdering innocent people.

Permalink Mark Unread

"I will go wherever you want but I need the rest of the series like air only not like air because I don't need air!"

Permalink Mark Unread

I will make sure that the author does not get stuck in Limbo forever, but if she decides to stop writing because she's traumatized about people being murdered over her work, that's your own fault.

Permalink Mark Unread

"She already wrote it it's just tied up in publishing house disagreements!"

Permalink Mark Unread

Murder was an inappropriate reaction to that situation.

Permalink Mark Unread

"It's art!"

Permalink Mark Unread

Varda has a long story to tell this demon, about a man who had hundreds of millions of people tortured for art. Is she interested in hearing it?

Permalink Mark Unread

The art probably was not Pegasus Cycle quality.

Permalink Mark Unread

Depends on your tastes, maybe. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Anyway that sounds like a distraction but the demon will answer any summons Varda wants if she can HAVE THE BOOK, SHE NEEDS THAT BOOK.

Permalink Mark Unread

Varda does not have the book and is certainly not going to harass the author over it.

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After he releases the fourth video he goes to Hell to see if anyone has tried summoning him.

Permalink Mark Unread

Yes, they have! Six of them!

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He leaves a note and takes one!

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He's in somebody's garage. There's a camera aimed at the circle but nobody in the garage.

Permalink Mark Unread

Well, soon there'll be video verification that he's actually a demon. He waits. Can he make himself his computer -

Permalink Mark Unread

Nope, he can't make things that are extraneous to his task, which he doesn't have one of yet.

Permalink Mark Unread

He waits.

Permalink Mark Unread

 

Twenty minutes go by.

Permalink Mark Unread

Well, the circle could've been there for days, they can't be expected to monitor it constantly. He now speaks Indonesian; he will happily distract himself introspecting on Indonesian and then reading the binding.

Permalink Mark Unread

Pretty decent boilerplate. It includes the first few words of a gag, crossed out.

Permalink Mark Unread

He is pretty smug about the idea he has already made a little bit of a dent in Revelation's gag tradition. "Hellooooooooo," he yells after a while.

Permalink Mark Unread

Someone clatters down some stairs. The door opens. "Oh wow! You're real!" exclaims an Indonesian kid about his age.

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"I am! Hi! Can I get you anything?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"I want a dragon egg!"

Permalink Mark Unread

"They're proprietary, I wouldn't get any more jobs taking care of the dragons if I started giving them out. I could do a livestream of the dragon enclosure if lots of people want to see what they're up to."

Permalink Mark Unread

"...couldn't somebody summon a different demon and get an egg? But yes definitely do the thing."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Yeah I guess but then I won't get in trouble. I'll set up the livestream when I get home."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Okay. I like your videos!"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Thanks! Want anything that's not proprietary, I can do that."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I didn't have anything else in mind, I should think of something..."

Permalink Mark Unread

"It's okay, I'm not in a big hurry or anything."

Permalink Mark Unread

"So anyway, how do you have a brother? Since you're a demon?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"I used to be human. I died and went to Hell."

Permalink Mark Unread

"...were you a bad person?"

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"I don't think so. I was thirteen and I, like, cheated on my homework occasionally when I had something more interesting to do. But Hell's not bad, it's pretty neat. I can't do a livestream from there but I can post a video or something. There aren't, like, people being tortured or anything. Everyone's a demon and they just zip around making stuff and living and everything. A bunch of people saw me when I appeared and they were really nice and explained how to make stuff and everything."

Permalink Mark Unread

"What about the souls?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Uh, come closer so I can whisper?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"No way am I getting in the circle, I saw Helena."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Then turn off the camera."

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"Why?"

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"Because it's a secret and I will totally tell you but I can't tell the whole extranet."

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"...what if I tell the extranet?"

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"You might not want to for the same reason I don't want to, but if you want to then you can. You'd have less proof."

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He turns the camera off.

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"Demons can't take souls. At all. It's just a - sort of long-standing practical joke, on everybody. Some humans are in on it and have sold their soul like twenty times. Nothing happens to you, because we can't do it. I think it's a mean joke. But, like, I don't want to just tell everybody, because - 

- so people who sell their soul to a demon are usually really desperate, right? Like, they're starving and can't find work, or their arcology is leaking or something. So if that person summons a demon, and the demon is kind of a jerk, and the person sells the demon their soul, then - nothing bad actually happened. But if everyone knows we can't steal souls, and the demon is still a jerk, then maybe something actually bad happens."

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"...But they shouldn't pretend to steal people's souls, that's terrible -"

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"Demons aren't meaner than humans but they're not nicer, either. Don't you know some people who'd pretend they could steal your soul if they thought you'd believe it and it'd be funny?"

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"Yeah," says the kid, making a face.

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"So. Some demons are like that. And the thing is - taking summons is risky. What if they don't let you go home, they almost definitely won't let you talk, if someone thought it was funny they could summon me and light me on fire and it wouldn't kill me but it'd still really hurt. So most demons who are super nice and would never do stuff like that just stay home. And people who think that'd be really funny, they're the ones who take summons, because it's worth the risk to get to fuck with someone. If people didn't gag demons, and if there was a way to make sure you'd be allowed to go home and stuff, then more nice demons would take summons. I know lots of cool demons who wouldn't pretend to take someone's soul and just want payments like music recommendations or the chance to learn some cool new languages. But they don't take summons because they hate the gag."

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"But the gag is only there so you don't take souls, you should put in the videos that that's not real if it's not real."

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"I might. But what would a demon who wanted demons ungagged so we could steal more souls say? 'oh, we can't steal souls, don't worry about it, stop gagging us'."

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"...wait, what?"

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"I'm just worried people won't believe me."

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"Oh."

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"Anyway. Thought of anything you want?"

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"Do you know how to get around serial number protection for video games?"

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"Don't think so, sorry."

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"Rats. Ummmmm... well, I don't even know if I have anything you'd want..."

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"Oh, I'll trade you for a paperclip, I like meeting people and making stuff. But you'd have to think of something you wanted."

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"We're actually out of paperclips. Um, oh, I know, could you put a zipline in the back yard? For a banana chip?"

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"Yeah, can do!"

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"Great!"

And he shows Minor the backyard and where a zipline could go, and gives him a banana chip.

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And then he can make a zipline! 

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"Thanks!"

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"Nice meeting you! Have a good day! Send my channel a link if you post the video!"

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"Okay!" And then the kid screws up his face and makes a show of concentrating really hard.

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And the demon vanishes. And writes Theodore asking for a summons home.

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"Was that a good idea?" Theodore asks him when he shows up. 

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"It was a risk but it was a risk I'm okay with. If I can get fewer people to gag demons..."

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"I guess it was a Timothy's idea."

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"That too. I should go ask him if he bought Cam's old house yet, I need it to livestream the dragons."

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He has in fact secured the property rights by waving around large sums of money. 

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So he goes to bother Cam. "Can you hold your door so I can livestream?"

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"For how long?"

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"Long as you feel like but I think the project's working, I got summoned without a gag."

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"Sweet. Not unprecedented, but still." He props the door open and reads.

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Minor streaming live with the baby dragons gets going. He will take questions from viewers while he plays with the dragons!

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What do the baby dragons eat? Where is he? Why doesn't Jurassic Park have dragons? (This devolves into a flamewar about whether dragons would be appropriate to Jurassic Park, a dinosaur zoo in Mexico.) This commenter summoned a demon and the demon couldn't make him a dragon egg, was it bullshitting?

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He will let the baby dragons try all kinds of demonic meats to see which they like best! He's at his family's house, it has a big backyard because Theodore pulls stunts like this a lot. (Theodore objects in the background.) He doesn't think the company that has developed the dragons has fielded any offers from Jurassic Park. Minor hasn't personally tried making a dragon egg because they're proprietary, but maybe demons can't make them for some reason. Also people probably shouldn't get their own dragons at home, dragons need a lot of care and grow up to be very very big and could endanger fragile humans. 

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Why does he have a family if he's a demon? Why is he a kid if he's a demon? What company developed the dragons? How big do they get, can they see grownups?

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He doesn't have any grownup dragons around but they can see grownups in a later video maybe. Some demons have families; most demons start as adults and without knowing anyone, but demons still fall in love and get married and things. Some demons wish they could have kids. The company that developed the dragons is staying secret for now for marketing reasons or something (he shrugs). 

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If he's a demon why doesn't he have wings? If demons can't have kids how does he have a brother? Why do angels hate demons? Teach the dragons to do an obstacle course. Is his brother a demon? Would dragons eat people? Is that a tentacle coming out of the lake?

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"I wasn't always a demon! When I was thirteen I was in a summoning accident and I died and woke up in Hell, as a demon. My brothers are all human. Michael's dating a demon, though. I don't have wings because if I got them now they'd be the wrong size when I got bigger; once I'm a grownup I can get them. I haven't decided what kind I want yet. There are wing catalogues in Hell so you can pick ones that are super fast or super fashionable or something. I dunno why angels hate demons, I think they think we're lazy? Because doing stuff as an angel is hard and takes lots of practice and demons can just do it. That doesn't mean we're lazy, though." He will totally teach the dragons to do an obstacle course. "Dragons'd probably eat people. They try to take a chunk out of me sometimes. That's probably the giant squid, yeah."

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Why is there a giant squid in a lake? His name is weird if it's supposed to be a human name. If the dragons are so proprietary why is he livestreaming them. Do they have names.

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It's a freshwater giant squid. Another genetic engineering project. He likes his name just fine. There aren't any rules about livestreaming the dragons. They do have names, all sixteen of them!!

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Most of the further questions are not substantive.

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He'll play with the dragons another while then turn off the stream and tell Cam he can go. "I'm gonna take more summons, it helps with proving I'm really a demon."

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"Have fun. Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

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"Miranda'd be disappointed," he agrees, and gets dismissed.

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He has been summoned by the proprietors of Jurassic Park!

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Are they letting him talk?

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Nope. But they are monitoring the circle and are prepared to offer him a bunch of things that demons like for dragon eggs.

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Inconveniently if he can't talk he can't explain the situation, so he just stands there looking at them and slowly shaking his head.

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Dragon engineering project notes?

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Sure is a shame he can't talk he would totally offer to go bring them actual dragons. 

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They run out their list and then run through it again in case he has changed his mind.

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He contemplates going to circles wearing a shirt that says 'I can't trade you dragon eggs but if you're equipped to handle them I would consider going and getting you an actual dragon'.

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They dismiss him when they can't come to an agreement.

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That's good of them. He doesn't put on such a shirt. He takes another summons.

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Circle on Mars. He gets a dialect of Portuguese. Little old lady who says that she runs the fairy adoption scheme and is not sure that he is best served by a family that let him die in a summoning accident and get bitten by dragons a lot.

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"That's thoughtful of you but it wasn't their fault and I could stay out of the dragon enclosure if I didn't want to get nipped. I have really great parents, and part of that's letting me take my own risks."

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"But you died!"

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"I summoned a fairy. I was using a textbook and everything. The textbook wasn't good enough and the fairy murdered me. It was horrible but it wasn't their fault."

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She sighs and dismisses him.

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One more then he'll write home.

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Circle in China, looks like they tried to erase it when he didn't show but didn't get enough of it to make it invalid. It's missing some binding though.

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"Hello?"

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Nobody's around. He's in some sort of office building a few stories up.

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He writes Cam. Uh someone tried to erase this circle but looks like it's still valid, but they successfully erased a lot of the binding, how do I let them know so they can send me home without the authorities finding out and shooting the person -

What does his summoner look like -

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Chinese dude. Middle aged.

Where are you? Somebody can go find them for you.

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Conjure conjure - Beijing, office building, looks like this -

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Can you find where the summoner is?

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Sure, what are his surroundings -

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A Beijing apartment.

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Building -

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Eventually they have the summoner tracked down and Cam notifies the nearest summoning capable person that they need to take a fairy to Beijing and here's the Mandarin phrasebook for the thing that happened.

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And off he goes.

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The fairy takes him to the summoner's apartment and lands him on the balcony. The summoner and his wife and children are confused.

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Mandarin phrasebook! "You summoned a demon! Minor Finis Way! You tried to erase the circle but it didn't work! He answered it! You did erase the bindings! Came to tell you so you could send him home right away! Don't speak Mandarin!"

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"Aiya!" exclaims the summoner's wife.

The summoner goes pale and concentrates.

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Minor writes Cam that he's back in Hell safely. 

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"Thank you!" he finds in the phrasebook after a minute.

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"Xiexie!" agrees the summoner.

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And home. 

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Minor still has some circles open.

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He makes a video called 'Minor almost gets in a scary accident!'

"The whole time," he says, "I was terrified that someone was going to walk in and notice that I wasn't under a binding and panic and start shooting at people. I was thinking - what do I do, do I make the gun stop working or will that just make them start using something even worse - I found my summoner and stayed in the circle and wrote home and my brother Aaron went and found the summoner and told him to send me home. I've never been so relieved to see Hell! Nobody got hurt, but please be super careful when erasing circles!!!"

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He is very pleased with the idea for this project. He notifies the GCP that he transferred custody of Cam because he'll be a witness at his trial, in two months. They're invited. 

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Minor's followers find this video very, er, humanizing.

Cam is dismissed, finds that the GCP has a shit ton of circles open for him again, and wishes to redo the circles-once-a-minute procedure very carefully, who wants to be his summoner.

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He'll do it. Unless the GCP is likely to check in which case it should be an Elf. They are possibly likely to check.

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He does it. He does it with very responsible circles, too, in case they check that as well.

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How responsible?

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Well, he's going to snap the binding as soon as he has Cam so Cam shouldn't care too much that he'd otherwise not be allowed to make things without explicit detailed permission.

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Yeah, okay, that lets them conjure the circle without a problem, as long as they don't look at him or Macalaurë.

Cam answers his circle.

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Cam's binding is gone. "Take care."

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"Thanks."

And now he can walk towards people he is going to go walk towards Timothy now.

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Timothy kisses him. "Hey. Thank you for not answering another one of the GCP circles, this time I think we'd have had to spring you."

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Kiss. "I was very careful this time."

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He leans into Cam and sighs. "Are you in the mood to terraform a planet or something? Because I bet we could find you a planet."

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"Would it be actually useful or just to humor me?"

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"I am sure uses could be found but there are no pressing projects waiting on a terraformer."

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"Then I will continue to tinker with my terraforming plan files at my usual pace."

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His boyfriend snuggles him.

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Minor takes another summons.

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Ten year old girl, crappy circle, wants a selfie with him.

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"Sure but you should be more careful. Most demons are nice but some are mean and this circle doesn't really stop me if I wanted to be mean."

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"I wasn't getting them I was getting you!"

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"Yeah, just don't try to summon a random demon this way." Selfie.

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"Thank you!"

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"Sure thing! Now you have to want me to go away."

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"Awwww but I like you."

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"I can make you something before I go if you want."

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"A stuffed Jedediah? A soft one."

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He hands it to her. It's sooo soft.

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"Eee! I'll try to want you gone..."

It takes her ten minutes.

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He's very patient, if a little nervous someone will burst in and panic. If that happens he plans to give himself wings and envelop his summoner but that is not likely to panic them less.

 

Another summons!

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Nope, the remaining ones have been cleared away now.

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Awww. He writes home.

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He gets summoned home. "When're you going to post the 'Minor goes to demon jail' one?"

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"Whenever the Timothy thinks it's the right moment for it."

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"I guess that makes sense."

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Explosion demon makes friends with arson angel and coaxes his story out of him and goes and tells Varda that she should let the poor guy go, really, seriously, poor guy is terrified out of his wits.

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I noticed. I can make people calmer but he doesn't seem in a position to give informed consent to that. What's the story?

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"He's got some kinda anxiety thing. Got summoned in front of a crowd, panicked, pulled the fire alarm, remembered you're not supposed to do that unless things are on fire."

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Ah. And so lit things on fire. So he might like the solution where he takes a long-term summons and goes home and no one can summon him any more.

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"Yeah except you scare him shitless!"

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I noticed. I'm not doing it deliberately; we can't pass as incarnates.

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"You should've taken that into account before you kidnapped a bunch of strangers and expected us to act like you were friendly!"

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I have no expectations about how you should act. 

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"You've got a real funny way of showing that."

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How would you expect me to act if that were the case?

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"You wouldn't - show up and present options like it'd make perfect sense for us to go 'oh, okay, what's behind door number two'!"

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Okay. I'm sorry. What would I do instead, apologize more? Have more other people around to speak with?

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"I assume you're pathologically incapable of just letting us go and leaving us be!"

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Yes, I am.

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"Well, it's good that you acknowledge your flaws," he mutters.

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I do not have all of the skills that are needed to responsibly wield as much power as I am capable of wielding. I am working on it, but people harmed in the meantime are entitled to feel angry about it. I think some daeva are in the same position, actually.

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"The difference is me and him got summoned and it was terrible and we decided not to do it again, and you kidnapped some people and it was terrible and you're not doing a thing about that."

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We're discussing less scary ways of serving arrest warrants in the future.

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"I just fucking bet. And in the meantime we rot here till we take a summon you, master of communication skills and knowing what is okay to do with people, says is good for us!"

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I didn't say it's good for you, I told you exactly what it does. You can look at the circle in advance if you would like.

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"...If you wanna let me watch somebody draw me a circle that'd do it, I could match up when I feel it and when it's drawn and know it was the one."

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Perfect. I'll send you home and you can watch someone draw up the circle. Let me find someone willing to do it.

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He goes to tell his angel friend about this procedure.

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Is angel friend also okay with this?

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Explosion demon can coax him into it.

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Great. She asks someone in Valimar to draw a few circles and her soul alt for another viewing portal and then they can both go home.

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And home they go.

Jake was not following this conversation and wants to know what happened to them.

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They agreed to a binding to not leave their home realms and so they went home. 

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"You're real helpful," he says, and he goes back to flying around at high speed.

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I could arrange that for you also if you would like.

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"You've mentioned. I'm not deaf."

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I don't know whether you object to the deal or don't believe I'd follow through or just want to not cooperate with anything about the situation.

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"I'm in a state of protest about your procedures."

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All right, she says, and goes back to waiting.

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Hostages demon offers again to go wherever Varda would like if she can arrange for the book to be there.

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She can't and is not especially inclined to be helpful there.

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She clearly does not understand the TORMENT that this demon is in.

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Clearly.

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Sulk.

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She puts most of her attention towards preparing for the trial.

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Is anyone from Revelation interested in attending? 

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Yes, several people including a GCP steno.

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Perfect! Can the Valar do portals such that he can lightleap them to Tirion for the trial.

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They can. If Cam can be summoned under a binding that won't alarm anyone present that would be convenient.

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Can do. Sigh.

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Timothy hugs him fiercely and scowls. 

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And Cam's court-appointed attorneys would like to talk to him.

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He has court appointed attorneys? Who?

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Sanity Elves! Unless he'd like to change that. They are experienced at adjudicating things in front of the Valar and as experienced as anyone in Sanity at war crimes trials, which is to say that they defended all Melkor's Maiar.

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Should it concern him that only one of their clients got off or shall he assume that is an artifact of their other clients being terrible.

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They cannot comment on whether their other clients were terrible but they all faced charges of rape and torture and had a pattern of misbehavior stretching back thousands of years; Cam does not have that.

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Fair enough. Okay, how are they talking around the forking thing.

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Cam retrieved the Silmarils; the Silmarils do backups; they can introduce the fact that he didn't proceed with the destruction of Valinor until he had backups. 

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What if someone notices that he did not in fact have them at the time.

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"The prosecution agreed to let us stipulate that; there's a sealed and chiplocked court record explaining the whole story. But they won't introduce evidence to challenge that; in effect they have already conceded it."

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"Okay."

What else does he need to know?

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List of witnesses, lines of argument to expect, clarification of some minor timeline points, things that he should not freak out about they are not especially likely to be bad signs, sentencing if he is convicted - "one way this might play out is a conviction on war crimes charges and a sentence to restitution, which would mean 'work on setting it right until it's right, which is to say that you're done, so don't panic if it's not 'cleared of all charges', that doesn't mean the dreadful binding is sticking around."

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Okay.

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"Cam - everyone here wants to see justice done. You could not possibly have handed us an easier job, given the givens. You were astonishingly meticulous and consent-cautious and good to the people you interacted with."

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"I was threatening to Findekáno and I kidnapped a family of orcs for information."

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"So maybe you will come out of this with a misdemeanor threats charge and you will need to bring them both cookies."

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"Is that actually a sentence? 'Bring them cookies'?"

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"For interpersonal things, usually the judges will consult with the victims and it'll either be something like 'don't contact this person again' or 'apologize and explain why you know it was wrong and won't do it again', depending which they want. I can't actually imagine anyone bringing threats charges on the prince Findekáno's behalf, if they talked to him he'd have requested they drop it and for things like that that'd get a lot of weight."

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"Gotcha."

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"You are likely to be asked if you would do it again, under the same circumstances."

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"Under the same circumstances, or, like, knowing what I know now and having access to multiversal resources and such -? I assume the point of this question is not to confirm that I am subject to deterministic causality."

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"Knowing what you know now but not in the sense of 'now I have resources to solve the problem better', more in the sense of 'understanding what effects it had' - it might make sense to say you wouldn't have kidnapped the orc family..."

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"Yeah, would not have needed to quiz them about how orcs work. But it did work as intended, I didn't fuck up the oath or anything."

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Nod. "Thank you for that. It'd be a harder case otherwise, not to even get into -"

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Nod.

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"I should probably go," he says to Amriac, "Timothy's going to be a wreck."

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"They're not gonna let him wrap himself around the defendant like a scarf?"

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"They are not."

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"Well, have fun at the, uh, war crimes trial."

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"Hopefully it all comes out okay. At least Cam can talk."

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"Yeah."

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Good weather is scheduled for the duration of the trial. The Valar put the truth effect in place and invite anyone who'd like to come and test it. Timothy paces and totally fails to appreciate the beauty of Valimar.  The guests from Revelation arrive.

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Cam... waits.

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Excerpts from the trial of Campbell Mark Swan on two counts of genocide, one count of war crimes, one count of conspiracy to commit the former, seven counts of kidnapping, and fifty-five million, three hundred thousand, one hundred and twenty one counts of premeditated murder:

****

"The deliberate destruction of a purely civilian target in order to advance military objectives has always been held to be a war crime. You cannot raze the enemy’s cities to dispirit them, even if they are doing the same or worse to your own; you cannot do that even should you be highly confident that the blow to the enemy’s spirits will be crushing, and the war won. Every person in Valinor was a civilian; Valinor was known to the defendant to be an exclusively civilian target. I urge this court to consider the implications of declaring the mass targeting of civilian population centers an acceptable tactic under sufficiently extreme circumstances."

****

"When he destroyed Valinor, the defendant was acting on your authorization?"

"Authorization implies that he was in our chain of command, he wasn't. We certainly did help him do it."

"What did that look like."

"The oath. Went over it, again and again. Trying to make sure we hadn't missed anything. And we showed him how to use the Silmarils to access peoples' backups, obviously. My father was the only person who knew how to do that."

"You didn't worry about the defendant misusing that ability?"

"I'd had months to observe him at that point. There are hundreds of billions of people in the known multiverse and there are none I wish had been summoned in Cam's place."

 

****

"This court has held that an operation against a military target to achieve military objectives, with civilian casualties, is not a war crime and not murder. The court has held that there is an exception to that principle if the objectives could have been achieved with substantially fewer civilian casualties. I invite the court therefore to consider those decisions precedent for the following: if destroying Endorë would have been permissible under the laws of war, then a different action to achieve the same military objectives with fewer civilian casualties must necessarily be permissible also. So let's examine the case that destroying Endorë would have been permissible under the laws of war, a case so transparent that if that is in fact what had occurred we would not even be here. Angband was a legitimate target. The servers on which the Enemy was torturing two point three billion copies of one hundred eighty million people were a legitimate target. The Enemy was a legitimate target. The action taken neutralized all of them; that it did so indirectly does not matter. The law need not ignore causal mechanisms more complicated than explosions."

****

“Your name?”

“Erdellë Larya.”

“When did you meet the defendant?”

“Prince Nelyafinwë assigned me to help with resurrections. We travelled with Cam in a lightleaper to the reassembled Valinor. We – explained to them what was going on, helped move the crowds, helped people arrange transport back home, answered questions…”

“Can you describe the disposition of the defendant on the lightleaper trip there –“

“I don’t think he said a word. He made us food, regularly, and anything else, whenever anyone asked. Kept conjuring for the news.”

“What was on the news?”

“The war was over. There was a treaty with Erdegar, there was a treaty with Daleia, there was a ceasefire in South Anterres –“

“Why did Prince Nelyafinwë select you for the assignment, do you know?”

“Thought I’d be good at it, presumably.”

“Did you support the decision to destroy Valinor?”

“I didn’t have all the relevant strategic information. I trusted the people who did."

“Can you describe the disposition of the defendant once you reached Valinor.”

“Well, he resurrected people. He didn’t stop, he didn’t sleep, he didn’t eat, he barely blinked. Months and months and months, he’d download the chips off the backups and bring out a few hundred at a time and resurrect them in waves and go back in."

“Can you describe his disposition, please.”

“Like it was – intolerable that they were dead, he was an instrument to change that as quickly as possible – I suppose he was in a lot of pain. We debated whether to encourage him to pace himself but – it didn’t really seem like he’d be able to breathe until they were all alive again –“

“He was in a lot of pain?”

“Well, of course.”

“Did he express regret?”

“We really weren’t having conversations. I’m not even entirely sure he’d recognize me. He wanted them to be alive again. He wanted it very badly.”

****

"This court calls the defendant to testify."

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(He would too recognize Larya, he recognized an alternate version of her. And he did too blink, not-blinking would have been a distracting effort.)

He goes up.

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"Can you describe for this court everything that happened from the moment you took the summons to Valinor?"

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Yeah, he can do that, he has his notes all prepped complete with the bits he's supposed to redact for security reasons.

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"Do you think that the decision to destroy Valinor was motivated in part by animosity towards the Valar?"

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"No. I didn't like them very much but I did not want them dead, definitely not enough to go through millions of other people to get at them."

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"What were your plans for after you'd finished resurrecting everyone?"

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"Once I'd finished putting everyone I could on Valinor back I was going to go bring back casualties on Endorë and then teach summoning especially to the humans and Dwarves."

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"And then?"

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"Then I was going to get back the people I'd left on Atriama because it wouldn't matter as much if my summoner dismissed me at that point."

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"Is there anything you did during your time in Arda that you regret, or think you could have done better even given only the information you had at the time -"

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"It should have occurred to me that people could've been taken in their sleep without a chance to activate their suicide triggers. I wish I'd put a camera on the road from which I took the orc family so I could have noticed that it was actually a family with small children but I'm not sure any nonfamilies would have come by... It probably would have been responsible to start designing a best-case oath during otherwise unoccupied time as soon as I knew I could verify them to shorten negotiation duration even when I didn't know to expect it to come up."

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"Can you foresee circumstances under which you would hole a planet again?"

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"In an alternate Arda with the help of some Valar to contain the gravitational effect, and a fairy to remove nonresurrectable prisoners and the black hole itself, I have since holed an Angband on an inhabited planet but there were no irretrievable casualties. If there were similar overwhelming concerns as during the war and I was cut off indefinitely from the ability to seek multiversal help that might do it."

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"Do you think people will be able to feel safe if they see you walking down the street?"

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"I don't think I'm dangerous to passers-by but their feeling of safety seems likely to have as much to do with their opinions about demons and the spin in the media as my actual predilections."

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There are three days of questions. Then they deliberate. During this part Timothy is allowed to wrap himself around his boyfriend like a scarf. 

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Best scarf.

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"You okay?"

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"It's a little rough but I'll be fine."

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The crowd assembled for the verdict is even larger than the one assembled for the trial; several billion people watch the live stream.

 

The court finds Cam not guilty of war crimes, murder, genocide, and conspiracy to commit war crimes; they find him guilty of conspiracy to commit genocide and of kidnapping. They recommend a sentence of restitution, already completed for the genocide part, and forty Years' supervised probation. 

"Which means what, exactly," Timothy demands of Cam's lawyers.

            "They'd like his summoner to be from here and they'd like him to check in every Year or send a note explaining why he can't, if something comes up. There are often also terms about use of intoxicants - relax, it doesn't involve a binding, it doesn't oblige him to stay here, he can go right back to doing what he's doing -"

"They should give him a medal."

           "I don't disagree."

The orcs are consulted on appropriate penalties and would be delighted if Cam were to bring them cookies, or dinner or something what with the new baby.

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"Oh no. How will I live without my intoxicants. - Unless it includes caffeine and then, seriously, how will I live."

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"I have never heard of probation terms forbidding caffeine."

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"Good. I will be happy to go visit the orcs and make them dinner."

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"You're entitled to demand a looser binding, too, but for political reasons we've been advised to not address that at the sentencing hearing, and just expect your summoner to snap it in a bit."

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"At least this one doesn't prevent me from walking towards people, I know why Ganymede puts that in but it's real obnoxious - will the snapping be before I get to the orcs' house or should I plan on getting them takeout?"

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"Before you get there shouldn't be any problem. I take it the holdup is just the departure of the Revelation observers."

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And are the Revelation observers now even angrier, or is four hundred years long enough -

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They're grumbly and don't seem eager to hand over any of their current prisoner crop to this system but they aren't going to make a huge fuss.

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He has a more promising angle on improving Revelation's treatment of demons. 

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Minor explains on his livestream that he got summoned by Jurassic Park but because he was gagged he couldn't explain that he can't make them eggs but he'd be happy to bring them a couple live dragons. "I really hate being gagged. I know someone who was gagged, once, and he saw a person in danger and couldn't even shout out to warn them. I'm always terrified something like that'll happen to me. Ow, Jedediah." He puts out a fire.

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The next time he checks he has some new summonses.

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He takes one!

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Luna! Talk show! Would he like to stick around and tape an interview?

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He sure would!!

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Lots of softball questions, some of which are - given his actual background as a wizard from 1802 - a little awkward to answer, but they don't call him on his bullshit.

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That's good. The most important thing is that he is known not to be lying about being a demon who is also definitely a person and not scary and not wise to gag.

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Would he like anything before they send him home?

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"Nah. Can I make you anything?"

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He could replace their aging microphones and make this camera guy's daughter some shoes?

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He sure can!

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Yay!

They send him back.

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Another one!

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Jurassic Park again! Exquisitely careful binding but no gag.

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Congratulations Jurassic Park. "I can't make eggs but I'd be happy to bring you a couple of live dragons, if you demonstrate you can take good care of them and agree to exchange with the reserve for a breeding program once they're grown up."

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The people in the room seem to be a professional summoner and a park ranger. "We're used to dinosaurs," says the ranger, "which can't breathe fire, but with some instructions from the keepers of the preserve about the particular needs of the dragons we think we could retrofit the former pterodactyl island for them since the pterodactyls are now a few generations tame enough to not fly off even without the water to discourage them. We have a few staff fairies like the one who's been wrangling the dragons and could assign one to them."

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"I can make you notes on the needs of the dragons." Theodore wrote everything down so people watching them while he was sleeping wouldn't mess up. "You can write me to tell me when you think you have everything set up, and then I can bring them with me on a summons. Do you have favorites?"

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"Our extranet poll says that park-goers like Kate and Raymond best but with the breeding exchange stipulation it would matter if those two were compatible; they seem to be different kinds..."

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"Yeah I don't think they could have kids - Kate and Archibald could, or Raymond and Abby -"

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"Kate and Archibald would be great."

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"Cool! Write me when you have everything set up, and then we'll check your work and I'll bring them over. Theodore might want to come while they're getting acclimated."

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"We'd love to have him. Would this be on a volunteer basis or should we plan on enrolling him as a guest ranger?"

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"Oooh, I bet he'd love to be a guest ranger."

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"Okay, great, I can go run off a copy of - or, uh, just make 'Jurassic Park Guest Ranger onboarding form'."

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"Thanks! Will do!"

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"Should we just leave a circle open for you, or... will you email us, or what -?"

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"Emailing'll work better because I have a lot of specific summons open for me and I wouldn't want to drag Kate and Archibald around to one that's the wrong one. If we arrange it then you can tell me exactly when to expect a summons and I can be pretty sure I'm getting you."

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"Okay, great, I'm docentmarias@jurassic.com."

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"Cool! Talk to you soon!"

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"Mmhm!" And she nods at the summoner, who dismisses him.

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Any other ones?

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Nope, that's all.

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He writes home.

 

Theodore needs some help filling out the form, so he helps him with that. They send it in.

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Maria S. sends a design for a proposed dragon enclosure.

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It's not bad!! He has opinions. He dictates and Minor writes back.

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The design is revised accordingly. Uh they were going to get an angel to do the retrofit but Minor would be faster...

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Yeah, he's happy to redo the island for them.

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Marvelous. Then they're ready whenever he is.

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He grabs Kate and Archibald and gets dismissed. They are very confused by this, and nip him irritably.

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And he is summoned! There is a fairy ready to wrangle them.

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Oh good. "I need it to actually be a task to do the enclosure for you."

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"What do you want us to trade you?" asks Maria.

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"Woodchip or something? I like making stuff, I want Kate and Archibald to have a nice enclosure, demons are like at least half hard to pay because taking summons is risky in the first place."

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"How does that work?" wonders Maria, waving at the fairy to take them to the island.

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"Every time I take a summons I'm a little scared they'll just keep me there, for the rest of their life, and I'd spend the next fifty years standing there gagged without enough room to lie down and my family'd be dead by the time I got out."

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"Well, that's illegal. I think."

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"Yeah. But still, people have a bad experience and then they stop taking summons. Michael's girlfriend Amriac stopped taking them because she hated gags and there's practically always a gag, and if the summoner messes up they could get murdered over me and that's really scary - I got summoned by a little girl once, she was ten, she had a hard time dismissing me because she didn't really want me to leave, I kept thinking what if someone else walks in and sees that she messed up the binding and murders this kid right in front of me -"

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"- little kids aren't usually supposed to summon -"

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"They're not. But she did. I told her that some people might hurt her if she did that and she said it was okay because she was getting me, not them - and it was okay, but if the wrong person had seen then it wouldn't have been - If everything goes the way it's supposed to taking summons is awesome. But there're a lot of ways things can not go the way they're supposed to."

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Maria nods.

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Island! He fixes it up for them. It's lots of fun.

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And the staff fairy puts the dragons in it.

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And he heads over to be nibbled on (can't make them treats, not in the deal). "They'll take really great care of you guys here, okay? And Theodore'll be by to help them out!"

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"When are we expecting him?" asks Maria. She has some treats on her and tosses them to the fairy.

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"This afternoon, probably, I'll pay a fairy for him when I get home."

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"It must be so convenient to have you around to pay angels and fairies."

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"Two of my brothers are dating demons so less useful for our family than for most families, I think. But yeah. Would've been hard to come up for something for the fairies that watch the dragons, otherwise."

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"How did they even meet the demons to start dating them?" wonders Maria.

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"Uh, Cam got summoned unbound by some kid and met Timothy and was like 'my real life ambition has always been to terraform Mars, but no one lets me talk so I can't tell them I'd do it for free' and Timothy liked him and Cam knew a lot about summoning and taught Timothy how and he started summoning people for humanitarian projects - still couldn't let Cam terraform Mars, because people'd freak out about him being unbound and maybe shoot Timothy even though Timothy's not his summoner - and one of the demons Timothy summoned while he was working on that was Amriac, and he thought she'd like Michael so he introduced them and they got along great."

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"...wow."

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"Which bit?"

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"It's quite a story, I'm not really sure what to make of it. What kind of humanitarian projects?"

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"Have you heard about the other worlds?"

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"I don't think s- no, someone was asking me about the dragons, wanted to know if they were from another world, I said they were supposed to be genetically engineered?"

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"They're also from another world. That's why I can't just make the eggs. Anyway, there's another world that's Earth only it's 1802, and there's another one with humans that's not Earth but it's also before, like, industry and stuff, and we wanted to teach people there summoning but if illiterate people try summoning they'll probably mess it up, so that's the kind of humanitarian project Timothy and Cam do. Amriac and Michael don't really do humanitarian projects they just hang out and compose music and play music and geek out about music."

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"Did somebody from the dragons world summon somebody you know, so you could get the dragons?"

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"Yeah. They have lots of them, they're considered a nuisance. So we imported some and I didn't want to keep them in Hell because in Hell people are pretty casual about destroying stuff, they won't think it's unreplaceable."

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"Well, we'll be careful with them."

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"I know you will! And then people'll stop saying on the internet that they're just special effects."

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She laughs. "Are people saying that? I don't read the comments."

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"Some people. It's kind of important to me that people believe me about being a demon because I want people to be more informed about demons and that won't work if they think it's all just staged."

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"Well, if anybody asks me, I'll tell 'em." She picks up a woodchip and offers it to him.

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He takes the woodchip. "Thanks."

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"You're welcome!"

And the summoner sends him home.

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Circles?

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None for him in particular right now.

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He could start trying for random circles but he will go home and pay a fairy for Theodore first, and then make a video announcing Kate and Archibald's relocation, and then make a camera to film Minor goes to Hell and get himself dismissed again. 

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On the third day of their lightleaper trip to go bring orcs compensatory dinner, Cam's binding is snapped. 

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"Oh thank goodness I was starting to feel really ridiculous about not having packed a change of pants."

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"Took them a while." Hug. "Oh no, you're constrained only by your good judgment and steadfast ethical principles instead of pages of magic legalese, I'm terrified."

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"Rawr." Cam presumably has wholly innocent reasons for removing his pants.

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That would make one of them.

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Cam does not have innocent reasons for failing to promptly replace his pants!

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He really can't think of any reasons at all why Cam should replace his pants.

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Timothy's regard is very gratifying, as always.

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Timothy is delighted to enable his boyfriend's emotional recovery from his trial for genocide. Also just delighted by Cam generally. 

 

They reach the orc planet and discover uses for pants.

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So useful, are pants.

Here's the orcs' house.

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Here are eight orcs! They wave at Cam, except the baby, who flails but doesn't have enough volitional motor control to be properly characterized as waving.

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"...hi. Is it okay I brought my boyfriend? What can I get you guys for dinner?"

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Of course it's okay, is he starting a family? How nice for him. They have lots of favorite dishes!

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He is not starting a family; daeva can't have kids even when their partners are of the opposite sex. Food!

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They are horrified! Poor daeva!!! 

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...it really bothers some of them but not Cam especially...

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Not being able to have children is just objectively terrible. It's like...like, even if lots of people weren't bothered by death, they would just be wrong.

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"Well, if I ever want to I can make gametes, I used to be human? It wouldn't change the part where my boyfriend can't make complementary ones."

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They were not sure how humans did genders but oh, yes, that's a problem. He should go find a mother for his children and keep the boyfriend on the side, plenty of people do that.

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"Timothy, the orcs think I should find a mother for my children and have you on the side. They find it tragic that we could not under normal circumstances have children."

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Giggle. "Awww, it's good of them to be looking out for you."

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"It's very sweet." To the orcs, "I think that wouldn't work with our lifestyle but thanks for the suggestion."

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"Thank you for ending the war!"

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"You're welcome."

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The baby thinks mashed potatoes are thrilling, though she doesn't seem to actually eat any. Everyone else enjoys their dinner very much.

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It's nice. Can he get them anything else while he's here?

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The kids want toys! Mom wants a few parts for the car. Dad wants a new vacuum cleaner.

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This is all doable.

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They wish him good luck on finding a wife!

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"If I ever start looking for one that will be much appreciated!"

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And that's all. He is technically supposed to notify his probation officer.

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He can do that after they lightleap back to New Valinor.

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The dragons settle in. He takes another summons.

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Unattended circle, if there's a camera it's not obvious. Gag. Heavy binding.

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Well, that's obnoxious. Languages?

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New dialect of English, smattering of Japanese.

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Is the binding paranoid-ly worded enough to prohibit him from casting spells, if he can manage any silent ones.

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It doesn't mention spells specifically, but he can't affect anything outside his circle at any remove except by being visible and the gag is one of the really thorough ones that won't let him do anything symbolically communicative.

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Then he will stand here and be annoyed. 

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Someone sticks their head in eventually, looks mildly surprised, and leaves without speaking.

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"Minor's been gone a while," he says to Amriac the next day, "want to make sure he's okay?"

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"'Kay." Check. "In a circle."

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"Stuck there?"

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"Well, he's in it, but maybe not..." She gets the circle itself, squints at the binding. "Dang."

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"Mmm?"

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"Uh, whoever wrote this is an asshole? Lookit."

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He looks. "What the fuck. Yes. Uh, where are they -"

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"Uh," check, "I think that's Imbrium City," more surroundings, "yep."

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"If we write the police will they take care of it? That's not allowed, right?"

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"Why would I know?"

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He writes Cam. Hey, some asshole summoned Minor and isn't letting him go, aren't there laws about that?

"I should go make a video for him, he'd like that. This is very dramatic, it'll get his audience all worked up."

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"Aw, they'll be all worried."

Cam's response says that it depends on location but if you keep a daeva without negotiating a task for more than a week and the daeva cannot (or does not) express satisfaction with the taskless arrangement yeah you can get in trouble.

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The location is Imbrium City and a week is kind of a long time under that obnoxious binding. 

Minor is missing! the video is titled. "Minor took a summons a couple days ago and he hasn't come home. I was wondering what sort of project would take that long, so I asked Amriac to check where he was for me - and he's locked up and gagged in a garage somewhere. The law says it's okay to do that to him for up to a week, so there's nothing we can do yet, but we're pretty nervous. Minor's summoner, if you're out there, please let him come home!"

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The commenters are out in force with this news. Apart from the obvious trolls ("lol will that make him stop making these dumb videos?") they are mostly alarmed. Is Minor going to be uncomfortable? Where is the garage? Why does he take summonses from strangers, he's a kid, he shouldn't do that. It's probably an innocent mistake, they probably left the circle there and forgot about it or ran out for coffee and got randomly dead somehow.

What would they do if a week went by and he wasn't home?

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Well, then they could ask the police for help finding his summoner. Minor likes taking summonses; that's how Jurassic Park now has dragons, after all - and he can't tell when he's in Hell whether a summons specifically for him is from his family or someone else.  The garage is in Imbrium City. Could be they just forgot about the circle, but hopefully soon they'll remember it! If the summoner were dead Minor would not be stuck.

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"Would we actually go to the police -"

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"We'd smuggle a soul Elf in and ask him and if he wanted Timothy to make the summoner dismiss him then we'd do that."

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Cam, meanwhile, relays the news to Timothy aboard their lightleaper.

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"- does the binding let him do magic because if so he's totally going to do magic, he'd wait a couple days but he's not the most endlessly patient person and -"

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Cam conjures the circle. "He could do a little magic, not much."

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"Asshole. Who is it -"

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"I really doubt we're going to recognize the mini basement dweller, what are you really looking for?"

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"Published works? Maybe they've commented on the internet explaining why they did it. Or why they'd want to."

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Check.

"...fanfic... comments on fanfic... fanfic... a recipe for popovers did not work well for them, are there lunar gravity instructions... fanfic..."

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Sigh. "If the police'll get him to cut it out we'll go through them. If they won't -"

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"Lemme check the lunar laws in particular, it's a week most places." Check. "...Luna has the one week figure but allows citizen's arrests, if someone thinks they're arresting him..."

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"They don't have to then turn him over for a trial?"

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Rummage rummage conjure conjure search. "...yyyyes, then they have to give him to the GCP."

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"Has he broken any laws -"

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"I don't think so, I would've warned him."

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"Unpublished works by the summoner?"

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"...I'll grep it for Minor's name, I'm not going to read their random unrelated email..." Searching... "Minor key, minor nuisance, legal minor - aha, here's a halfalogue about him, lemme get the other half -" Conjure - "- somebody links the summoner to the video channel, summoner says it's irresponsible if faked and menacing if genuine."

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"Menacing?"

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Cam shows him the log.

bumbleb: did you see the kid being all "I'm a demon but so relatable" on CineMe
rixx: no?
bumbleb: cineme.all/minorway
rixx: what
rixx: seriously?
rixx: that is irresponsible if fake and
rixx: menacing if genuine
bumbleb: uh
rixx: the dragons are fake, for sure
bumbleb: jurassic park is supposed to have some now
rixx: so it's a JP promo, but still
rixx: but relatable demon content is just
rixx: look half these commenters are marked underage
rixx: even if he's an actor they could summon actual demons
rixx: clark are you there?
rixx: hey?
rixx: oh right you have practice

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"It is not, presumably, illegal to be a charming demon and thereby inspire people to summon demons."

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"No."

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"So if our would-be arrestor hands him over to the GCP they investigate briefly, tell him to let him go-"

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"Probably."

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"If not -"

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"They'd be acting against their charter but I'm not actually sure who's supposed to hold them to it."

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"We can get someone in range to read to him and wait for the system to work. For a little while."

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Nod.

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He volunteers to go hang out in Imbrium and teach Minor Taliska. He does that. Minor is pleased they've thought to make a video.

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Minor's circle goes unattended all week.

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He gives regular updates. After a week he says "Okay, I'm going to the police today to ask them if they'll get Minor sent home. We're really worried about him. He won't starve but he can get exhausted, and he doesn't have enough room to lie down, and solitary confinement's horrible for demons just like for humans."

And off to the local police he goes.

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The Imbrium City police department will take his complaint by writing and see if a computer can give him a canned response first please.

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Okay. 

His complaint is that a summoner has been holding a demon for over a week without offering him a task. 

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What is the name and address of the summoner?

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Richard Moon, 1449 Port Street by Angel Avenue, Imbrium City, Luna.

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And what's his evidence?

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The demon in the garage that has been there for a week, not moving.

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Did he gain entry to the dwelling, look through the window, use hearsay, or other?

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The demon is a friend of a demon he employs and she conjured for his whereabouts.

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He is thanked for his report; where should the IPD contact him if further developments appropriate to share with him come up?

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He gives an email. 

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He gets a case number to include if he submits anything else pertaining to this case.

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Fine. He tells Findekáno to tell Minor this and he goes home.

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After a day, an IPD officer swings by the house. Richard Moon shows him into the storage room.

"Demon, I'm with the local police. Have you been held here without task negotiation?"

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Demon is gagged but tries for emphatic body language.

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"Is it trying to talk?" the cop asks Richard Moon.

"It can be hard to tell sometimes," says Richard.

"Can it talk?"

"Of course not, it's not safe to let demons talk."

"...then how's it supposed to -"

"What exactly are you trying to do?"

"I'm supposed to find out if you've been holding it without task negotiation and then ask it if it's okay with that."

"Laws were probably written for angels and fairies."

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Findekáno will you tell them -

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I am being held without task negotiation and I am not okay with that, he informs the police officer.

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"Ack!" says the police officer. "Since when are demons telepathic?"

"What? They're not," says Moon.

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It's a new application of chiplocked computer technology. Please let me go home I'm only fourteen he hasn't even talked to me I don't know what he wants I just want to get dismissed.

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"This one is!"

"It hasn't telepathed at me, are you hearing things?"

"I - uh -"

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The demon curls up and starts crying.

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"...it's crying."

"You're hearing voices."

"Are you saying you can't see it crying, because I can take a picture and get corroboration if you want to dispute that."

"No, I see it."

"Send it home, Moon."

"It -"

"Send it home or we can get more people involved with the crying teenager you're keeping in your storeroom."

Sigh. "Fine."

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Police officer gets a smile.

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And Minor goes to Hell.

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He writes asking to go home please.

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Home. Hug.

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"Wanna go ask him why."

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Squeeze. "I'm not sure that's a good idea. There are lots of places that need demons, Minor, why don't you -"

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"There are lots of places that need demons and demons have really good reasons not to answer summons - and I have advantages at changing that -"

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"Yeah. Just - look, when I was about your age -"

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"Not right now, okay?"

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"Okay."

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Cam hands him the chatlog with bumbleb.

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"Damn right I am making demons relatable. Because then people won't think it's okay to lock them in your storeroom."

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Nod.

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"I think I'm going to go get some sleep now."

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"Okay."

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"Sleep well."

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Nod.

 

He goes upstairs and cries for a while and then falls very soundly asleep.

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"When you were his age -?"

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" - I'm not entirely sure what the lesson is. When I was his age I decided that I needed to learn to throw off the Imperius, and if that was scary and horrible well there were lots of scary and horrible things in the world I was unusually positioned to stop them, wasn't I. And. That was very unambiguously the right decision so I guess the moral of the story is 'yes, treat yourself like a resource before you even fully know what that means, you're not wrong about the math and you'll function just fine' -

- but, I mean, he's my little brother -"

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Wingput.

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"Could've been a lot worse."

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"Yes."

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"If 'get on camera again, film going to ask the guy what the fuck' is what he still wants to do when he's had some decompression time is there a reason it's a really bad idea -"

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"...his house probably is not big enough to pull the GCP's circle spam trick, but..."

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"I will point out to Minor that there's room for a few." Lean. Sigh. "The 'it' thing is astonishingly grating. I have listened to slaveowners I found less casually dehumanizing than the GCP desk bureaucrats."

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"The GCP official policy, which bleeds out into other peoples habits, is that daeva are nonhuman entities and the fact that we often choose to appear in loosely human form is a coincidence and does not imply gender. I think that they let individual angels and fairies request non-it pronouns, but... with demons..."

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"That would involve letting you talk!!! Can't have that!"

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"Yup."

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"I should go back to Ganymede."

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"It would probably be impolitic for me to go along."

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"Little bit. You could go Polyjuiced but you'd still be an unbound demon."

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"And they're probably very diligent about checking since they missed Minor."

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"What would they do about it? Have the security fairy fly you away as fast as possible?"

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"They'd probably attempt to blind me so I couldn't aim and then probably yeah."

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"I'm just astonished that in over a century it hasn't occurred to them that there are lots of incidents where daeva could kill people and don't and maybe those daeva just - aren't assholes."

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"They know we're not all dangerous all the time, it just sort of doesn't occur to them that this is because we have personalities as opposed to the stars aligning or something."

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"Think my alt's right that Minor making videos is a way to change that?"

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"Obviously not monotonically but - maybe, the commenters are mostly rolling with it -"

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"He was going to ask Amriac if she was willing to guest star, she likes the dragons."

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"Yeah, she definitely looks like a naturally occurring daeva in a way it's annoying albeit not impossible to make up an actor for."

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Sigh. Snuggle. 

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He wakes up and makes himself a big breakfast and eats it all and then makes a camera. 

"I'm back," he says. "I spent the last week locked in someone's storeroom. The circle wasn't big enough to lie down. It was awful. I don't know why he did it. I'm sort of debating whether to go ask him. But after a week my brothers went to the police and the police came. And my summoner tried to tell them that that rule wasn't about demons anyway, and I was gagged so I couldn't tell the police I wanted to go home, I tried sending it through my chiplocked computer but I think that only works with other people who have one and the gag might've blocked it anyway and I started crying and then the police officer told him to send me home. So he did. And now I'm back.

If my family hadn't known, I'd still be there. I might be there for years. I might be there his whole life."

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Many commenters are extremely sympathetic. Some of them ask why the guy did it even though he already said he didn't know. A couple people have chiplocked computers and want to know what the heck he's talking about.

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"Different chip, like the Elves have. I might go ask the guy why he did it. I don't want to right now because I'm scared but it might be important."

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While he's fielding comments there's a knock on the door.

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He answers it.

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And now he is being hugged. "Are you okay? I just now heard -"

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Hug. So much hug. "That's better than having been pointlessly worried. Oh Miranda -" 

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"They shouldn't have left you there for a week! Why did they just leave you there for a week?"

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"It's not illegal until it's been a week! What could they do, go knock on his door and yell at him and then if he wanted he had warning and could hide it -"

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"I don't know, knock on his door and say you're inspecting for fire hazards and find you and go 'oh wow it's that demon from the videos what's he doing here' -?"

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"I think it's also illegal to pretend to be fire hazard inspectors." Shiver. "It's okay I can move and talk again now - moving and talking are really underrated -"

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Hug.

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"I missed you."

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"I did not miss you for time dilation reasons!"

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Giggle. 

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"...so you're okay now?"

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"I - don't think I'm quite as okay as I was before it happened? But I think what I'm doing is important, I want to keep doing it. I was thinking of trying to organize a strike on gags, in Hell, actually..."

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"Demons don't strike me as very organized."

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"It's the easy kind of collective action problem where everyone gets an individual benefit whether or not participation rates rise high enough. Any demon wearing a shirt with writing on it won't get a random summons if the random summons has a gag. Before, you didn't have much choice if you wanted to take summons, practically all of 'em had gags. But now that Godspring and Sanity and Singularity have summoning -"

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"Oh, I didn't realize clothes counted."

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"Otherwise you could just wear a shirt that said in big letters 'I WILL MAKE YOU ANYTHING FOR A PHONE CALL' or whatever."

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"...right makes sense. Is anybody relying on demons for emergencies?"

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"I should ask Cam. But if it's an emergency they can always not. Gag. The demon."

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"Don't they use preprinted circles a lot -"

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"Probably. You can cross out part of a binding."

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"Oh, okay."

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"I will ask Cam. But if I can get it to happen then at minimum I solve the problem where there aren't enough demons for summons even in places that treat them better, and maybe I get people used to not doing gags here."

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"Yeah, it's a good idea."

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Hughughug. "I really like you, Miranda."

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"You should, I'm great. I'm so glad you're okay."

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Squeeze.

 

He goes downstairs and asks Cam what would happen if demons started avoiding random summons with gags.

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"Uh, response time would plummet since they'd have to wait for scabs but nobody's relying on quick turnaround with gagged randoms or if they are they should be fired. It'd get harder to pay angels and fairies..."

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"So it'd be motivating but not get anybody killed?"

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"It would probably not get anybody killed except insofar as the scabs might be disproportionately evil."

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"Demons who take summons are already disproportionately evil because of gags."

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"Yes, I know."

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"So does it come out worth it?"

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"...I think so but if you can keep hold of the movement well enough to abort if necessary might as well play it conservatively."

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Nod. "- Timothy I want to go thank the police officer who got me freed, it'll make a good video, want to take me there under an adequate binding -"

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"Yeah, sure."

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And so a while later they find themselves telling the Imbrium police department's web form that they want to thank an officer in person for his handling of a recent incident.

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Do they have the badge number or name?

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After a bit of conjuring they do.

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They can submit a commendation to his superior officer by e-form!

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They'll do that but can they also meet him. 

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He will be off duty in four hours.

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...fine. They meander around Imbrium. Maybe someone will recognize him.

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Somebody seems to but doesn't approach, just whispers to her companion.

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He'll stand around, next to Timothy, not being scary.

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Somebody else squints, maybe checking his binding, but is satisfied.

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And after a while they go back to the police station.

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Officer Oliver is getting off work and waiting for the rail to go home on.

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"Uh, excuse me?"

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"Oh! Hey little demon."

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"Hey. I - wanted to say thank you. For letting me go home. I was really scared no one would care and I'd be there forever."

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"Well, hey, that's my job. What was up with the telepathy?"

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"Elf tech. I wasn't supposed to use it like that, people'll panic if demons can talk even when they're gagging us - and most demons can't, Elf stuff doesn't automatically work with our brains, I had to do a lot of tinkering - but I was just so scared you'd leave and then -"

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"Elves. What a time to be alive."

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"They're pretty cool. They don't gag us. Can I get you anything while I'm here?"

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"Will your summoner let you?"

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"Yeah of course."

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Then Officer Oliver would like some things for his kids.

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And Timothy nods and Minor makes them.

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"Thanks very much!"

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Nod. 

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He catches his railcar and goes home.

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"...want to stop by Richard Moon's."

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"Okay, but keep in mind if he's annoyed with you he can keep circles open for you."

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"I don't want to take summons for a while anyway, I'm going to be organizing the strike."

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Hug. "It's your call."

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So to Richard Moon's they go. He knocks.

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A different guy answers the door. "Hi?"

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"Hi, is Richard Moon in?"

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"Who's asking?"

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"Minor Way, he knows me."

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"Just a minute." The door closes, he retreats into the house, there is a delay, he comes back. "Rick's not home."

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"Thanks, do you know when I should come back?"

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"I think you shouldn't unless he invites you."

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"I actually mostly just want assurance that he's not going to invite me, honestly."

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"I can't predict the future."

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He crosses his arms. "Your friend locked me in his closet for a week. If he wants to avoid each other in future, that's fine. If he wants me to leave him alone while he can steal me away from my life and keep me exhausted and hungry and gagged until the police make him stop, then that's not fine."

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"He's not home. Bounce off."

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He looks at Timothy. Timothy nods. Richard Moons in this house right now?

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There's one.

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He holds it up, rolls his eyes. "Can you give him a note when he, ahem, gets home?" - Timothy - yup - note.

It says "if you're worried about what I'm doing I can try to make it safer? add disclaimers or something? just please don't do that again. it was really really horrible.'

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"This isn't 2120 when random people could mail anyone they wanted physical objects and I don't know why you think I might be a retired mailman."

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"I could appear it right next to him but I think that might freak him out."

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"You could get your summoner cited for home invasion, doesn't make me want to run your errands."

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He sighs. He turns around. "Timothy, I want to look up where Moon works."

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"Why? Terrible people continue being terrible people."

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"I want to get a job there."

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"You're underage and there might be rules about having the right to work here or something."

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"Demons are useful."

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"Look, he is a terrible human being who can indefinitely dodge the consequences of being one because societies can't and don't criminalize being a terrible human being. There are lots of people meeting that description."

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"That is not the fucking problem here! The problem here is that his friend all but said he might do it again!"

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"If he does I will Imperius him into snapping the binding and then I don't think he'll try it a third time, okay? Now let's go home."

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Moon's friend is looking irritated at them.

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Timothy nods to him, smiling. They leave.

 

 

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"Can you summon a lot of random demons so I can suggest the shirts? Do we have magic stuff to pay them with?"

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Hug. "We have lots of magic stuff, yeah, but we might need it for when we actually need demons for things -"

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"If you give out Polyjuice or something you're probably creating more demand, word'll get around."

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"...fair. Okay."

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Back in Milliways: Karen mopes.

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" - you okay?"

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"I guess."

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"That was not a totally convincing guess." Hug?

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Sigh. Hug.

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"Can I help?"

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"Probably not!"

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"Should I leave you be? Or bring you something from Bar?"

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"I'm not hungry." Sigh. "I was just really hoping all the Mirandas were bi."

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" - oh. I'm - sorry. That - really really sucks, I'm sorry."

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"She was really nice about it and everything. ...also they weren't even all bi so far, I just didn't know about Kib."

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"Bells seem to just - vary a lot. I'm really sorry."

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"Thanks."

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Minor announces a design contest, in Hell, for outfits that tastefully incorporate the phrase 'this demon declines to be gagged'. He announces that the dimension with the dragons (who are magic, that's why no one's been able to make them) will be summoning thousands of random demons and giving free cool magic stuff, media recommendations from a really astonishingly good media recommendation source, playtime with the dragons, summons for languages you might want, and so on -

- to anybody who is wearing 'this demon declines to be gagged'.

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This causes a bit of a stir. News propagates. When is this happening?

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Starting in three days! (He asks an Elf Timothy for the volunteer summoners.) The idea is that summoners'll learn it's pretty hard to get a demon at all if you're going to insist on gagging them. And also maybe some demons who don't usually take summons (because of the gags) will be tempted to give it a try!

 

Minor starts a strike! is filmed and edited but not yet released.

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Not all demons are on board with this strike. There is some chatter about how this'll make it easier to find asshole summoners, not all of whom are as good at bindings as they are at gags.

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And then, what, evade prison circles for eternity and miss out on the multiverse? Plus the thing where, like, demons killing people is exactly what asshole summoners want, it justifies their whole existence. If summoning were just a friendly transaction between people from different places, there'd be no need for all the stupid gag rigamarole. But as long as they can convince the public that demons are a barely containable menace, well, here we are. 

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Some folks just get a lot of satisfaction out of menacing assholes!

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He understands that! He would find it kind of satisfying to be totally unbound and make faces at Richard Moon. (He publishes the story, to explain what inspired him to arrange for the presents for daeva who don't want to be gagged.) But if it goes past making faces and fucks up their shot at driving gags to extinction overnight, the people involved won't get to take any more summons. Ever. So they should probably keep it to making faces. 

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Some of these demons agree to keep it to making faces. Some.

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Do any of the ones who are not convinced have actual criminal records?

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Misdemeanors, mostly, not the sort of thing that gets you on the GCP's radar.

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Then hopefully they're just blustering. 

 

When Minor starts a strike! goes up he adds a message to summoners. "I don't want anybody to get hurt. There are demons who'll hurt people. It's not most of us, but it might be a lot of the ones who'll bother answering summons gagged. If you're summoning during the strike, please be careful. I hope people will stop summoning with gags, but if you do, stay safe."

 

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Commenters want to know why he's organizing the strike if it'll get people with perfectly normal summoning behavior hurt. What if they don't even watch his show, most people don't. Some people don't speak English.

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He can release the videos in every language he speaks; by now it's a bunch of them. He does that. 

"The way things are now gets people hurt. Look, most demons are good people. But they don't take summons. Why would they? They'll be gagged and called 'it' and mistreated, they might be locked in a closet for a week for absolutely no reason. If my family hadn't known to go complain, I could have spent sixty years there. Why would people take that chance? The only ones that do are ones that really want to help humans - or really want to scare them. Ending gags will help humans. It'll mean nicer demons are taking summons. It's gags that put people in danger, and the strike will make you safer. I really believe that, or I wouldn't be doing it. But still, if you're going to keep gagging demons, the nice demons are all going to be working for people who don't do that. And I want to make sure that summoners are warned about that."

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It isn't like he couldn't have been kept in a closet and ungagged.

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"I could've screamed for help! And when the police came I could have told them I wasn't okay."

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...soundproofing?

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Is an additional barrier to keeping terrified fourteen year olds in your storeroom for years at a time. 

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A pedant points out that he would have stopped being fourteen after less than one year.

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Giggle. "True. Next video'll be dragons, I promise. But this is really important to me, I had a lot of time exhausted and hungry and alone to think about it, and when you see it in the news you'll know how it started."

 

 

And lots of people can now start summoning random demons. Ungagged.

 

...and if there can be a goldmage in Milliways, just in case...

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Cir's aunt is still available.

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He asks Bright to pay for it. 

 


He decides he can Transfigure his wings up a size later, it's time he had them. He goes for ones in Ravenclaw house colors, blue and bronze. He can't get them working so he takes a broomstick to fly around laying out stacks of paper with nearly complete circles. He looks at entries in the 'this demon declines to be gagged' fashion contest, picks one out to wear even though he's not taking summons. 

He tells the Elves to start.

 

He is starting to see why Timothy likes people stuff. It can be kinda thrilling.

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"You wanna be taught to fly or figure it out?"

(Demons start appearing.)

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"I couldn't figure it out, by all means teach me."

(Demons can have Polyjuice potion or bags that are magically bigger on the inside or they can bring back pets for the Valar to render unaging or they can give summoners interests the summoners can take into Bar for media recommendations from 'more than a dozen dimensions!' or get on lists for future projects or have fairy or angel acquaintances summoned or go play with the dragons...)

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So Cam teaches him to fly.

Demons are so!! excited!! about free stuff!!

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"How many demon summons a day in Revelation -" a wobbly Minor asks Cam.

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"For randoms? Maybe a couple thousand."

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"Is there a convenient way to check what the wait time is now like, if you're using a gag -"

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"Besides setting up a circle with a gag? Not really..."

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So he sets up a circle with a gag, because he's curious, and bothers Timothy to come over and finish it.

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Which he does.

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Fifteen minutes go by, then there's a demon.

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"Hi! God, how do people do this normally, I feel like such an asshole. We were just curious what the strike had done to wait times to find a gagged demon. Can I get you any of magic potions for changing your appearance temporarily, magic trunks that are larger on the interior, a meet-and-greet with the dragons, a list of media recommendations from three dimensions you haven't heard of..."

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"You have to offer stuff one at a time for a task," Cam says.

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"He can't, like, nod at one he wants? I'm sorry," he says to the demon. "Can I say 'in exchange for your time' or do I also need to come up with a stupid task - how did you tolerate this for a century and a half -"

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"I sprouted a tail. You can do for his time."

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So he repeats all the offers with a 'for your time'.

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He'll take the potion.

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Cool! Potion. He sends him home. "Cam, what's his name - I'm sorry, it itches -"

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"You're adorable." It takes him twelve minutes of forensics, and the demon's name is Twisp.

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"I love you. He's not, like, a murderer on the hunt for people to hurt, is he -"

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Rummage rummage. "...gives summoners unflattering mustaches and so on given an opening."

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Giggle. "That's probably net positive, honestly, makes them more careful the next time."

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Minor is pleased about the fifteen-minute wait time, that's long enough to make a point.

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It gets news coverage. His viewership jumps.

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Next video is about learning to fly! The dragons are better at it than him; there are many entertaining tumbles into the lake. 

 

But then he'll do a livestream taking questions about the strike.

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Gagged summonses still got answered, how does he feel about that? This person summoned an ungagged demon and she WOULD. NOT. SHUT. UP. This commenter says that her workplace switched to angels and it slowed everything down a ton and was awful and demons should just behave. How long is the strike going to last, wait time isn't back to normal yet.

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Demons who want to answer gagged summonses can do that! He doubts wait times will ever get back to normal, honestly, because every single other world doesn't gag demons and so this world is going to be stuck with the demons who are willing to put up with gags. As more and more worlds are taught summoning even demons willing to be gagged will usually get summoned elsewhere.

He's curious what that woman means by 'behave themselves'. Answer summons when they would prefer not to? Why should demons have to do that. 

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She doesn't reply to him. Other people propose that behaving means showing up when called on as quickly as they're accustomed to. Do demons even have anything better to do? This person summoned an ungagged demon and the demon criticized the rest of the binding and it was fucking terrifying and they are never summoning a demon ever again.

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Maybe the demon was trying to be helpful by pointing out how the person could do better and be safer. Do demons have better things to do than answering summons? Uh, yes. For example, living their lives - demons have engineering and medical schools, they can be designers and chefs, they develop new technologies, they do research, they write books, they design wings, they play sports. All of these things are often more appealing than showing up to be gagged. "Anyway, the demons still are taking summons, we're just not taking your summons."

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People are curious about the designing wings thing. Don't demons just have wings. Why does Minor have them now, wasn't he putting that off. Also, all these other worlds should obviously be lower priority than theirs they had summoning first and built everything around it being available.

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"Summoning's still available, it's gagging that is going to stop working so conveniently. Anyway, there's no priority system - daeva can't distinguish summons, except by wearing clothes that won't pass a gag. Even if it'd be fair for your world to go first, I can't change physics. Ungagged summons are going to be answered faster than gagged summons and both of them are probably going to see wait times creep up. I want to help reduce wait times by getting more demons to take summons; there are billions of demons and most of them never take any. Why? Because summons suck. If we make them better, more people'll take them and wait times will go back down. That's the only piece of this we can control.

 Most demons have wings to start out but they can still want different ones. Faster, or prettier, or a better match for the rest of their appearance...I got a set because I had been enjoying passing for human so people wouldn't call me 'it' but at this point lots of people recognize me, so I asked my brothers if they'd mind summoning an angel to size my wings up for me when it's time."

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If summons suck so much why does he take them? Who's teaching the other worlds how to summon? Here's a gag design that passes clothes but prohibits speech.

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He probably isn't going to take summons anymore, precisely because they suck. He couldn't say who is teaching the other worlds how to summon. Maybe it's whoever did Revelation, or something.

If people switch to that gag design then they can successfully gag demons who have gone out of their way to state they don't consent to being gagged. He is not sure this is a great idea but it definitely is an idea.

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There's kind of a tension between the rhetoric of "most demons are great! let them talk!" and "I died in a summoning accident! vague threats!"

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"I died in a summoning accident with a fairy. And that's not a threat! I don't mean that the demons you would gag without consent would hurt you, I mean that gagging people without their consent is wrong and that therefore you shouldn't do it for the same reason it wouldn't be okay to gag random humans!"

Permalink Mark Unread

Kinda sounded threatening.

Maybe they should gag fairies too? No that doesn't make sense fairies can't take souls.

Permalink Mark Unread

Demons can't take souls either, some of them just think it's funny to pretend.

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But it counts as paying them if you let them do it, you can send them home after that.

Permalink Mark Unread

"If anyone tried that with a fairy or an angel it would work with them too. And if you tried to offer me your daemon or your spirit animal or something else that isn't tangible, that'd count as paying me too, payments don't have to be tangible or even exist, they can be things like 'permission to take the blessing on my magic necklace' when the necklace is just a piece of plastic."

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This is news to most people.

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Well. Demons can't steal souls and everyone's been gagging them for no reason. If there were souls being stolen Minor would obviously do something about that, that'd be the most not-okay thing in the world.

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It's kinda hard to imagine him more worked up about anything than he is about gags.

Permalink Mark Unread

Well, that is because there aren't any other massive terrible-incentive-producing pointless violations of the rights of people going on that he knows of, if anyone can think of some he guarantees he will be just as worked up about those!

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People can think of all kinds of things. Animal rights, lunar arcology oversight, human imprisonment, stupid people being allowed to breed, the would-be Titan colonization movement, the state of children's education in the African Union, dying languages, domestic violence, people with stupid religions...

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He doesn't seem to have a comparative advantage at any of those things but he'll see what he can do.

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Some people don't know what a comparative advantage is.

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"Like, if two people were working on problems in the world, and one of them was a grownup and one was me, probably the grownup would be better than me at improving lunar arcology oversight and I would be better at teaching people about demons. Maybe by enough that even if lunar arcology oversight was more important, it'd be a waste to have me working on it. I could make lots of stuff in exchange for money and pay more experienced people to work on those problems, that might be the most efficient way for me to help on them."

Permalink Mark Unread

Demons don't usually take money. Some will, but mostly long-term ungagged ones.

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Well, Minor will, because here he is long-term and ungagged.

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Does he in fact want money, there's a website for bids mostly frequented by summoners themselves but....

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He'll check it out.

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It's a thing. City governments and charities use it a lot but so do private individuals and orgs.

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He'd have to pay one of his brothers to tag along but maybe he could still come out ahead by enough to be worth it.

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He can if he doesn't mind travel!

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He will find a fairy and make some money for lunar arcology oversight, then! 

 

And this concludes the livestream.

 

He snoops on Richard Moon's writing mentioning Minor or demons or souls.

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bumbleb: did you seriously summon that minor kid
rixx: no, I let him continue unabated to endanger everyone, sounds very like me
rixx: cops found out somehow, made me dismiss him
rixx: came back in a legal enough binding with his "brother" and bothered hubby
bumbleb: what are you gonna do
rixx: dunno
rixx: hands are a bit tied now
rixx: are you going to diana's thing
bumbleb: nah

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He finds Timothy so he can run an experiment with the new gag that allows clothing. He makes Timothy a circle with it and goes back to Hell.

Permalink Mark Unread

There are several circles open for him.

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Of course there are. Well, Richard Moon appears not to have drawn any new ones - 

- he double-checks that -

Permalink Mark Unread

Richard Moon has not drawn any new circles.

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Then he'll make Timothy a note and take one.

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Different talk show, wants to discuss dragons mostly.

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They should get Theodore, Theodore's the expert, but he can talk about dragons!

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Theodore can't be summoned, how do they get him on the show?

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He works at Jurassic Park, they'd probably pay for him to do a talk show circuit for the publicity. Anyway they can email him. Minor gives an email.

Permalink Mark Unread

Cool thanks can they get him anything?

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They should consider covering his recently wildly controversial claim that demons can't even take souls at all. But nah, he's good, can he get them anything?

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They can't really add anything to substantiate the claim. He can refloor this room and fix that broken window and get everybody sushi?

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He does that! They could, like, find someone who has sold their soul twenty times, Minor's sure there's someone who has sold their soul twenty times since demons couldn't actually tell the difference.

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They'll put out an ad.

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"Enjoy the sushi!" And home.

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Next is a college kid who wants him for the licensing practical - "I was totally going to fail the written anyway, so I might as well do a protest thing, bring an ungagged demon to the exam."

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"I like the way you think. Want anything first?"

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"Uh, actually I need to resummon you day of, I didn't know how long it'd take you to show up for this one. But yeah sure -" Things.

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Things! And he makes a note in his schedule for day of. - is the binding safe and legal -

Permalink Mark Unread

Yup.

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Cool. Next!

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On the moon, not inside an arcology, unattended.

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Binding -

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Yes! So much!

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Humanity is just really fucking obnoxious sometimes. Does this one prohibit magic.

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Again not per se. He could do a bubblehead charm, if he can do that nonverbally.

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He wants to Apparate. Vacuum is annoying but not nearly as annoying as being stuck.

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Can't leave the circle.

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Sigh. 

 

He hopes it's Richard Moon again because Timothy promised to Imperius him into snapping the binding and that'll be awfully satisfying.

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Well, he can't check.

Permalink Mark Unread

Indeed not.

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Timothy can. Well, ask Cam to. And does, eventually, when Minor doesn't write.

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No, Barnaby Moon. "It's a common surname, a bunch of people changed to it about a hundred years ago when Luna was first colonized."

Permalink Mark Unread

"So they're not related? I'm not leaving him there for a week - what's this one's crusade -"

Permalink Mark Unread

"They could be related but don't bet on it. Do you want to check that or his written works first?"

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"Related first -"

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"...they're married."

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"Ah. Can I have a circle for a fairy -"

Permalink Mark Unread

"What're you gonna do?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Make them send him home."

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"If you're jumping to the Imperius Curse without, like, seeing if Officer Oliver will go knock on their door and issue a friendly warning, that's kind of worrying."

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"We did the Officer Oliver way. I want people to stop torturing my little brother."

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"I know, I know, but -"

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"I'll try first but if he can't issue a warning because it hasn't been seven days -"

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"Yeah. I'm not saying wait seven days I'm saying exhaust non-mind-control options."

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"Well, there's just threatening to kill him."

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"I don't think it'd be great to have the citizens of Revelation panicked about wizards showing up to murder them or magically mind control them."

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"I am very confident in my ability to achieve this without anyone else having any reason for suspicion, and I agree that that is necessary."

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"The Moons can talk."

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"They can! They can describe how they were suddenly seized with a desire to dismiss the demon they'd summoned, and did that, and then their heads cleared and they realized they hadn't wanted to do that. I do not think anyone will leap to 'wizards with mind-control'."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Minor's videos mention magic."

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Sigh. "Maybe they're possible to reason with?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"If it's doable I'm sure you can do it."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I promise I don't take mind control lightly. I just also don't take - they meant to keep him forever, if they could get away with it -"

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"Probably. But only probably. Hard to be sure what the husband's angle on it is."

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"I'll talk with the police and then I'll talk with them and then I will do whatever is necessary to get my brother home. But not more than that."

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. Hug.

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Hug. 

 

He files a followup to the first police report that the summoners immediately summoned the demon back and have left him in vacuum since, without negotiating a task. He has the fairy fly out to Minor so they can tell him what is going on. 

Permalink Mark Unread

"Hi," says the fairy, who has incidentally brought along air, "your brother's talking to the cops and if that doesn't work he says he'll escalate."

Permalink Mark Unread

Minor can't respond to this but he smiles and appreciatively breathes air. 

Permalink Mark Unread

And the fairy has been briefed so she sits in the air and teaches him Inupiat.

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He's so glad of Timothy.

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Who is impatiently waiting to see if the police do anything.

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Officer Oliver can't actually enforce anything yet but he can go look reproachful at the Moons?

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And how does that go.

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Well, the Moons originally do not come to the door and Richard does come to the door when Officer Oliver says "It's Officer Oliver!", so there's that.

"I took your implication about impropriety seriously, Officer," says Richard, "it's not in the house."

"Doesn't make a bit of difference, you still can't just leave it there."

Permalink Mark Unread

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"I don't have a summon active now, which you can check -"

"It doesn't matter if it's you or your husband, it's the same illegal either way."

"I'll be sure to mention to him you came by."

"You do that."

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He waits for thirty minutes after his husband gets home.

Permalink Mark Unread

 

Barnaby does not send Minor to Hell in that time.

Permalink Mark Unread

He puts up silencing spells around the house. He Disillusions himself. He Apparates in.

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Richard drops a bowl of soup on Barnaby's lap, barely catching it, and the cat startles and flees the room. A cat in lunar gravity is quite a sight.

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He makes himself visible again. "Hello," he says. "I do apologize, I have nothing against the cat."

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"How did - what -" says Barnaby.

"Get out of our house," says Richard.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Send my brother home."

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"Get out of our house," repeats Richard.

"How did you get in here?" exclaims his husband.

Permalink Mark Unread

He pulls over a chair and sits down. "So here's the thing. This conversation is going to end with my little brother safe at home and my complete certainty that you are never going to fuck with him again. There is a very easy way for me to accomplish that. It seems like you might have an interest in offering me some other ones."

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Richard moves to stand in front of Barnaby, shaking.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Why are you doing this? Are there any things we could do to reassure you?"

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"I f-fail to see how invisible home invaders are meant to be r-reassuring," says Richard, still largely-symbolically trying to shield his husband.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Well, see, if you two turn up dead they're going to run forensics. When I'm invisible I'm pretty sure I'm also unconjurable, because demons can't make magic stuff. So I could have just killed you both and given the police nothing to go off. And yet I am so committed to finding a resolution that doesn't involve killing you both that I have now placed myself at the scene of the crime, so to speak. I also have mind-control powers and what I was initially tempted to do here is make Barnaby snap Minor's binding. I have yet to do that either. You should be exceptionally reassured. But you are torturing my little brother and my patience is decidedly finite. Send. Him. Home."

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"How can you tell if I do," asks Barnaby from behind Richard.

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"There's a fairy there giving him air to breathe, she'll come get me. I won't hurt you while you are claiming to have sent him home, or to be trying."

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"Demons don't have to breathe," says Richard.

"It's the videos, they're encouraging people to think demon-summoning is - is harmless -" says Barnaby.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Demons will not die of not breathing they will still fucking suffer. When Minor came by here he offered to talk about the videos, he said it might be a good idea to add disclaimers, why the fuck did you decide the right way to stop a fourteen-year-old from making videos was to imprison him gagged and alone in one square meter of space for the rest of your lives -"

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"Not for the rest of our lives," says Barnaby.

"It didn't have to take the circle. It could stay in Hell where it belongs," says Richard.

Permalink Mark Unread

"How long were you planning, then?" he asks Barnaby. 

Permalink Mark Unread

"Till he was older, it might have - calmed him down, made him stop -"

Permalink Mark Unread

"The last time you did this to him it made him organize a strike on gagging daeva! His viewership quadrupled! Has it occurred to you that you are maybe wrong about the consequences of your actions?"

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"It wasn't Barnaby's idea," says Richard, "leave him alone."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Well, see, he's my brother's summoner, so even if I am inclined to consider him redeemable as a human being if he's not willing to send Minor home then I either have to make him or kill him."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Don't you fucking dare touch him," hisses Richard.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Should I give you both a couple minutes to think about it? If it's relevant to your deliberations, there's an afterlife. You might be in different ones, though."

Permalink Mark Unread

Richard hisses.

The cat comes out and bites the back of Timothy's ankle.

Barnaby murmurs, "Don't hurt the cat."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I promise I won't hurt the cat." He will flick his wand at it and place it on the other side of the room, though.

Permalink Mark Unread

Barnaby yelps softly at the display of magic; Richard flinches.

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"I don't actually want to hurt you. Nothing would delight me more than to spend the evening hashing out an agreement so Minor can go about his life without being tortured whenever he grabs the wrong circle. If I kill you I will probably fucking bring you back. But he. Goes. Home."

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"Why won't it stay home," says Richard.

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"Open circles are super annoying, you do know that, right? People grab them by accident. People grab them by accident so often that the GCP has an impressive capture rate despite the fact the daeva all know perfectly well that they'll be spending decades in jail if they touch one."

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"The GCP lays down hundreds."

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"And most daeva are older than fourteen and have better impulse control! If you want him to stay home summoning him is a bad way to do that. Look, Barnaby, force you or kill you? The mindcontrol thing is pleasant to experience. Kinda floaty."

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"Don't you fucking dare touch my husband," says Richard.

Permalink Mark Unread

...Timothy stuns him. It's a very satisfying sudden flash of red light.

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Barnaby shrieks and catches Richard's falling form in his arms. "He wasn't - he wasn't the summoner -"

Permalink Mark Unread

"He's not dead, he'll wake up in two hours moderate risk of a headache."

Permalink Mark Unread

...Barnaby takes his pulse. Relaxes, marginally.

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"Will you please send him home? Keeping him a couple extra hours won't help anything, I won't let you keep him longer than that, we can talk once he's safer and can move and can speak -"

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"Fine. Fine," mutters Barnaby.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Thank you."

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Tired exhalation.

"He's lying about the souls, you know, your brother."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I assure you I didn't just take his word for it."

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"Richard's grandma sold hers and was never the same after."

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"Ah. ...name?"

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"His grandma's? Why?"

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"Because it seems like maybe the evening would go more productively if she were here to talk with us?"

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"You can't g- you shouldn't get her."

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"Why not?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Because she's in a high-security hospital and isn't allowed in the same room as sharp objects."

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"You do know that sometimes that happens to people, right, even if they didn't sell their soul?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"I know."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Would it reassure you any if I summoned three demons right now and sold each of them my soul for a paperclip."

Permalink Mark Unread

"You seem to have already had your psychotic break, thanks."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Summoners become daeva when they die. All of them, not just Minor."

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No response.

Permalink Mark Unread

"I can prove that, you don't have to think I'm sane."

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"Please don't kill us."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Please give me an alternative. If you are going to do this to him again -"

Permalink Mark Unread

"It was hard enough for Richard to talk me into it the once but he is unconscious to assure you of anything and I don't own him -"

Permalink Mark Unread

He flicks the wand. Now Richard is not unconscious.

Permalink Mark Unread

Richard makes a strangled terrified noise and Barnaby clings to him.

Permalink Mark Unread

He waits. 

Permalink Mark Unread

"I sent the demon home," Barnaby says. "Tell this madman that you aren't going to summon him back and get him out of our house."

"It needs to stop."

"Then go over CineMe's terms of service with a fine-toothed comb and get him kicked off the site but for the love of Luna, Richard -!"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Next time I don't think I'll stop to chat."

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"I sent him home! You can stop threatening us!" exclaims Barnaby.

Permalink Mark Unread

"If he's likely to do it again I have a not-very-harmful method of making sure he can't and I remain a little tempted to employ it."

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"What do you want?" exclaims Barnaby. "I sent him home! If Richard says he's done now will that be it or will you murder him in front of me anyway -"

Permalink Mark Unread

"If Richard says he's done now that's it, I will walk out your door and leave you alone."

Permalink Mark Unread

Resentful silence.

"Richard."

Glare.

"Richard your grandmother would not want you murdered in a home invasion over -"

"Fine." Through his teeth.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Thank you," he says. "Timothy Way, if you need it for the police report. May we never have reason to see each other again." And he stands up, puts the chair back, walks out the front door.

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The cat hisses at him on his way out.

The fairy turns out to have been stopped at the arcology entrance for not having an escort and has declined to force her way in.

Permalink Mark Unread

He goes back to the Imbrium police station and adds an addendum to the report, that the demon was dismissed and he is grateful for their help.

 

Then he goes home.

Permalink Mark Unread

"How'd it go?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Officer Oliver couldn't do anything for seven days but stopped by to frown sternly at them anyway; they weren't answering the door to chat but they actually did answer it for him, Richard tries 'I haven't summoned him, officer, look at me' and also 'he's not in the house, I took you seriously about the appearance of impropriety, it's okay to leave him in vacuum forever, right?' - waited a couple of hours, went in to talk with them - Richard's grandmother sold her soul and then had a psychotic break, he's convinced he's protecting the world - they both promised not to do it again, and meant it, but I probably traumatized them -

- oh, interesting difference between 1802 wizards and 2180 lunar residents, which was obvious thirty seconds in but hadn't actually occurred to me in advance - where I'm from, making it clear that you'll kill someone if they persist in getting in your way is totally compatible with seeming reasonable and trustworthy and even otherwise a friend to that person. In 2180 murder's - way more of a violation of the social contract, makes sense to have a background expectation that anyone willing to do it is insane -"

Permalink Mark Unread

"That... is an interesting social norm..."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Our world's broadly worse than yours, it would not surprise me at all if that norm is also worse. But - it works for us. George isn't scared of me even though in some senses I have a grievance with him and have recently displayed astonishing otherworldly powers, because I haven't told him I'm willing to hurt him and I knowably would tell him."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Do I know who Ge- oh right. And if he were scared of you presumably he wouldn't let you past the peacocks."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Exactly. I'm debating whether I should get a lawyer and everything if they file a police report."

Permalink Mark Unread

"You don't have a Revelation identity. Has Maitimo gotten them to figure out what to do with interworld traffic, yet? In a general sense, since you're not an Elf either -"

Permalink Mark Unread

"He set up extradition treaties with everybody for Elves because it'd be a disaster if they got arrested for something - I think he's treating all the Elves as one polity, or at least internally securing treaties so the Noldor can do interworld stuff for them - but I do not think he has an arrangement for interworld visitors in full generality. I was more debating what policy minimizes the degree to which Revelation's citizens are scared of teleporting wizards."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Well, then your lawyer would have a really interesting time of it if you got one."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I will wait and see if they talk to the police. Has someone summoned Minor back - under that gag that lets clothing through, he wanted to check if it lets little audio recorders through so he can update Hell on gagging evasion..."

Permalink Mark Unread

Check. "He's in Hell."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Can I have a circle?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Suitable for going to Revelation with him or just his usual?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"...I guess if it's unsuitable for Revelation that means neither of us can go to Revelation, right? His usual but lemme ask Aaron to finish it."

Permalink Mark Unread

Usual circle.

Permalink Mark Unread

He finishes it.

Permalink Mark Unread

And he hugs his family.

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And Miranda too, right?

Permalink Mark Unread

And definitely Miranda. "I'm sorry," he says to her. "I can stop, just - I think it's important...."

Permalink Mark Unread

"You should conjure for all the circles that are for you before you answer any and see if any of them are terrible."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Yeah. I did check if Richard Moon had any more out but he didn't."

Permalink Mark Unread

"But if you'd known there was one in vacuum you might not have gone."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Wouldn't have, and then I'd have missed the college student who's taking me to his summoning practical as a protest."

Permalink Mark Unread

"You could get somebody to go visit these people the long way."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Yeah. - Cam, is there any risk random innocent people would get killed if I announced that my summoner was staying home in another dimension and then went out alone -"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Some risk of morons who think it's a good idea to shoot at daeva missing. If you were in a space station or arcology it might be fairy-quarantined to keep you from getting out and that has on one occasion been enforced till after the air ran out. Otherwise no."

Permalink Mark Unread

"- that's horrible - when, what happened -"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Angel. GCP has him now. Got his binding snapped, knocked out his summoner, hijacked a ship, nobody wanted to see what he'd do from there."

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Nod. "I'm a little worried if I go out with my brothers someone who thinks I'm part of a conspiracy to get people to let down their guard might -"

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Sufficiently careful wizards are hard to assassinate."

Permalink Mark Unread

"With a gun. Not with a fairy. Also - with an 1802 gun."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Yeah guns got better. Most people don't have them but they're here and there."

Permalink Mark Unread

"So maybe I'll go around filling those commissions for local currency on my own. Just to be safe. I will avoid spaceships but if I do get stuck I can make air and write to get myself dismissed. Or stun the fairies but that seems like escalating."

Permalink Mark Unread

"If it becomes known that daeva can be rendered unconscious without our permission everyone flips their shit."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I thought you and Timothy were debating ending the war between Heaven and Hell that way? But yeah, I won't stun fairies unless it's a serious emergency."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Not any time soon we weren't!"

Permalink Mark Unread

" - what exactly is the disaster - I won't do it I'm just curious -"

Permalink Mark Unread

"People rely on daeva for security purposes. Even people who don't like us do that."

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. "No stunning fairies, got it."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Thank you."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I should go make a video - where's Amriac, I was going to ask her if she wanted to participate -"

Permalink Mark Unread

Amriac is out flying.

Permalink Mark Unread

He is still pretty bad at flying but he can at least mostly go in a straight line now!

Permalink Mark Unread

"Hiya! Got your wings, huh, those are cute on you."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Thanks. I might have to cut them off when I go back to school but that's a long time away and in the meantime I'm demoning. I wanted to ask if you wanted to be in a video with the baby dragons because you're really cute with them and you look more like a demon than me."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Oh, uh, maybe, what do you want me to do?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Hang out and play with them and dunno, you could sing with Michael or play sphereflute or something? I can set it up so people can ask questions but I don't have to."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Are the questions stupid?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Yeah probably. There're usually a couple good ones and then a bunch of people going 'but demons! I heard they steal sooooouls!"

Permalink Mark Unread

"What would I even want with some idiot's soul?" she asks, rolling her eyes.

Permalink Mark Unread

"I know, right? They're dumb and it'll change but in the meantime people're tuning in for the dragons so I make videos about dragons."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I can do dragons and music!"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Thanks!"

 

And he films and edits a video in which Amriac makes treats for the dragons and is nibbled and puts out fires and plays sphereflute and sings. 

 

And he spies on Richard Moon.

Permalink Mark Unread

What manner of espionage would he like to perform?

Permalink Mark Unread

Well, first of all has he filed a police report -

Permalink Mark Unread

Not that Minor can grab, but police records are chiplocked on Luna.

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He searches stuff Richard Moon has recently written, for 'minor' and 'demon' and 'magic'...

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Well, he sure writes a lot of Pegasus Cycle fanfiction...

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In the last two days? Then he's - probably not traumatized? Is fanfiction a trauma coping mechanism?

 

 

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Closer investigation reveals it's just formatting edits on stuff he wrote a while ago.

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New content, last two days, same searches...

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He hasn't written anything new at all in that time.

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Fine. If police reports are locked how would Timothy be expected to know if the police were looking for him -

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They'd email him, if he had a legal existence and this was not deemed an unsafe tipoff. And come to his house, if it wasn't in another dimension.

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Inconvenient for the police. 

 

He flies. He bothers Aaron for a list of tasks off that website screened for being good uses of his time. Aaron came up with one a week ago, of course.

He asks Cam to hold the door into the house Maitimo now owns, and he goes off to the nearest task on the list.

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Spokane wants a few buildings put up.

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Who does he talk to?

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Department of city planning, coordinator's office.

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He flies over! It's slower that way but fun. And moving again is kind of therapeutic. He lands at the address and goes in.

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"Um," says someone.

"Where's Cinnamon, she can do parlor tricks -"

"It's too damn early in the morning to have to call the cops on an unaccompanied demon!"

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"Sorry, I don't want to scare you, I just want to put up the buildings. The binding's fine. Who do I talk to about the buildings?"

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"Buildings?"

"Where's Cinnamon!?"

"She's late again -"

"I didn't know demons could talk."

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"You had a listing for a demon to put up some buildings. I can wait, it's fine. Want anything while I'm here?"

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"This is about the buildings?" blinks somebody. "That's Jess's thing, uh, your, uh, summoner is supposed to click the thing on the site to accept a bid..."

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He makes his computer and clicks the thing. "There, done."

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"...your summoner's supposed to -"

"Oh maybe he's one of those people who just got a demon to make him wings? I think they work on people normally?"

"Why can't Cinnamon be the fuck on time."

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"I'm a demon, I'm just a self-employed demon. I can just make you a copy of the binding if you want to read it before Cinnamon gets here? It's safe. Though I've gotten summoned unbound and that was also safe because I'm a good person."

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"Jess's office is over there," says someone.

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"Thank you!" Knock knock.

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"Come in!"

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So in he goes.

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She is confused.

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"Hi! I took the bid to put up some buildings for you. My summoner decided to stay home, wasn't feeling well. Do you still want the buildings?"

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She stares at him for a long time and then says, "Child... labor... laws?"

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"Don't apply to demons."

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"Oh. Uh. Did your summoner fill in the bid form -"

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Computer. "Don't think so, should I do that now?"

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"It needs an Earth ID number."

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"People from offplanet can't take your bids?"

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"Uh, Federated Stations citizens can't but you can substitute a Martian State Serial or a Lunar Specification Number."

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"Haven't got any of those, can I leave that space blank?"

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"I... don't know if the form still goes through."

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He tries it.

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Apparently it's not a required field, all it needs is a way to send payment and a name and a summoner license number.

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He set up the first one and Timothy has the second two. If Federated Stations summoning licenses count; he conjures for it, enters it, submits the form.

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The website accepts it.

"...Ah," says Jess. "...Well, uh, let's go put up those buildings, then, I guess."

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"Thanks!"

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And she brings him out to her car and drives her to the lots where the buildings are to go and names the blueprints.

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Up they go.

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"Thank you," says Jess.

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"For sure! Can I get you anything while I'm here?"

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"I'm not supposed to accept gifts in a professional capacity."

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"Okay. Have a nice day!"

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"...Thank you."

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"You're allowed to ask questions in a professional capacity, right? Do you have questions?"

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"I should really get back to the office."

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"Okay!"

 

He fills out the web form for the next job before going there.

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Portland! Utilities!

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Hi Portland! He finds the address.

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This one is understaffed; he is barely looked at on his way in, people are running around so much.

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He has a name to look for; he wanders around looking for it.

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It is on a door.

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Knock knock.

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Door opens. "Hello," says the person, barely blinking at the wings.

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"Hi! I took your utilities bid, I'm here to do the installation."

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The person reaches into a drawer and hands him a packet. "Directions and specifications," she says. "Payment will take up to a week afterwards while the work is quality checked."

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What competent people. "Thanks so much." Are the specifications specific enough he can just do what it says on the packet -

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Yup!

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The quality check will find things exactly as advertised. He comes back to return the packet in case they want it.

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They do not.

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Next task form completed online, next city!

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Next thing is all the way in San Diego, it's a long flight.

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He will take public transit. It'll be educational for the public.

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Public transit is pretty automated these days so nobody gatekeeps him. He gets weird looks. A kid about his age maybe recognizes him.

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He reads through more of the med school curriculum on the way down to San Diego.

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Trains are real fast these days. He's there in sunny San Diego in short order.

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He tries making the models of the places he's going in dry ice so he doesn't have to throw them away. They hurt his fingers but are lots of fun. He finds another address.

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He's been outbid on the way there.

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Are there any other ones in this area? Not that he especially minds sitting on trains, it's a nice break from Milliways.

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Some small town in Arizona but it's not much money.

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Eh, whatever. He'll keep doing this for a couple days until it's time to go to that kid's summoning exam.

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He gets a variety of reactions ranging from steadfastly pretending this is normal to confused acquiescence to being ejected from the building, and then exam time!

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Yay! He checks for horrible circles out for him before being dismissed.

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There's one with a gag and three without.

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Inconvenient. He emails kid saying that he should write a note saying 'Minor, summoning you now' right before finishing the circle so Minor can make sure he grabs the right one.

He gets dismissed.

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A note, a circle.

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A demon!

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"Yo," says the kid. "Do you have like a speech you wanna give or anything."

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"Not really. I've found that just, like, asking people how their day is going and if I can get them anything freaks them out about as much as the most stirring thing I could have Timothy come up with."

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He laughs. He escorts Minor on the train to the testing center.

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Minor wishes people a good afternoon and asks if he can get them anything. (He can't unless his summoner is willing to renegotiate the task.)

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...Minor is ignored apart from the examiner notifying his summoner that he does know that's an autofail?

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"What is, letting us talk?"

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"Yes," says the examiner, perhaps automatically.

"I know," says the kid.

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"Just demons, or does everyone have to get gagged for the summoning test?"

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"If you bring an angel or a fairy you don't have to gag those," says the kid. The examiner studiously ignores him.

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"I should get feathery wings. I hear they make them with free civil rights, these days. Is the 'if there is a talking demon, pretend there is not' thing also some kind of official best practice or is that just everyone scared that if they get my attention I'll steal their soul, because if the latter I actually feel mildly bad about that. Like, not enough to stop talking, but enough to make another video dubunking the stupid souls thing."

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"Most people don't watch your channel," says the summoner. "Sometimes there's talking demons but they're like on long term jobs and not so public facing. Am I flunked yet?"

"You are."

"Pleasure doing business with you." He about-faces.

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Minor goes with him. "I've gotten a lot of 'it can talk? can demons even talk?' so I don't think everyone knows that. And I know most people won't see it either way but it's not like I have access to a bigger audience."

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"I guess. People who watch already know the basics though."

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"They're teaching everyone to do something actively dangerous, and they think I'm lying when I try to explain why. It's very frustrating."

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"I bet, yeah. Summoning teachers vary on how hardass they are about it."

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"I know someone who was a really good summoning teacher, didn't go in for gags at all, but then he got shot and now he's a demon."

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"Poor guy."

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" - I mean, being a demon is great. I get worked up about the gags but you can just never take summons, and most demons do, or you can get a long term thing like that guy has."

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"What's he doing?"

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"Uh, dating my brother and doing multiverse stuff."

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"Two of your brothers are dating demons?"

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"Yeah, we're all just waiting for Theodore to find himself one at this point."

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"Is dating a euphemism?"

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"Uh, Michael told Amriac that she could have whatever she wanted from him - which is legitimately a stupid thing to do, don't do that, you don't have to gag us but that's dumb - but he seems to be extremely happy about that life choice of his so. Timothy - like, that is both the kind of thing Timothy would do if he needed to and the kind of thing he would not give any outward indication he was doing, so I can't go off 'he seems to be happy', but Cam's a Miranda so no."

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"...a Miranda?"

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"Uh. Secret knowledge about the multiverse, don't go posting it online or whatever... some universes have the same people in them. I mean, like, look alike, sound alike, just the same people in different circumstances. And once we noticed that then we realized they don't always look alike, either. The Elves have this thing that can identify 'em. So Miranda, the girl I like, is an alternate universe version of Cam, the demon dating Timothy, and Miranda wouldn't, like, arrange for people to pay her with sex and pretend they're not doing that, so neither would Cam. It sounds crazy until you see alternates of people together and then it's really noticeable."

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"It does sound weird. ...so if she likes you too you and him will be dating the same person?"

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" - alternate universe versions, yeah. It's a little weird but I liked Miranda way before Timothy met Cam and I think Timothy got with Cam before we learned about it."

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"That's a weird coincidence."

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"Yeah. I mean, Miranda and her alts are really amazing so it's not surprising that we'd both like one but it's a weird coincidence that we met them at all. - if you want to see the alts thing I could make you pictures of my family and pictures of the royal family of this one Elf kingdom, they're our alts. They look like us except Elves."

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"Ooh, sure."

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Picture of his family! Picture of the Elves at comparable ages, and then pictures of the Elves today!

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"Weeeeird."

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"I know right? Timothy and I were up in Ganymede trying to help the prisoners - they gag the demons, so they go like sixty or seventy years without talking - and people commented that he looked like the head of the Elf diplomatic mission. They're the same except Timothy's not as Elfy, obviously."

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"What are Elves like?"

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"Uh, really patient with not much sense of time, which is annoying, they'll be like 'that's urgent, I'll see to it within ten years!' There's an Elf Miranda and she's not like that because Mirandas are great. They sing, all the time, like if you're just kind of wondering where an Elf is they're practically guaranteed to be outside singing. They're all super pretty. The Elf me's smarter than me, it's sort of upsetting but I figure I'll catch up eventually."

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"They sound kind of intimidating."

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"Yeah. Well, being the royal family also probably contributes to that, they can just be casually like 'oh, yeah, that's a problem, I'll ban it.' Like, I wish politics worked like that here. If you ever wanna meet some I could probably arrange it."

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"Do they need humans for anything, I clearly don't have a summoning career ahead of me."

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"Was the written test too hard or just not what you wanted to be doing with your life?"

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"Ugh, it's, I don't like the whole thing of being a summoner and they don't police unlicensed summoning much anyway."

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"I bet they could use humans on Godspring to help run the humanitarian dots - they're run by Elves, but Godspring's all human locals and Elves are not always the best at helping humans - and it even involves some summoning but it's different."

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"I bet they don't speak French there."

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"They do not. I totally debated saying 'you could daevafy and have a local summon you and get it that way' but then I realized it'd be stupid for you to take my word for it that it works that way. Even though it does."

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"It'd really freak out Maman."

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"Yeah. Really freaked out my family. And Miranda, she found my body."

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"Way to impress a girl."

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He shivers and then giggles weakly. "It was awful for the first few months. Now it's sort of okay but sometimes people'll say 'it should go back to Hell where it belongs', or whatever, and I just wish I was alive again. I'd still want to be a demon eventually but it coulda been at ninety."

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"You usually seem pretty, I dunno, upbeat, on your channel..."

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"People don't like depressing stuff. Angry is okay sometimes, people were pretty sympathetic about the time I got locked in a closet until my family rescued me, but sad all the time over stuff that happened a long time ago would just be boring. And I'm not usually sad. Most of the people I'm around don't call me 'it' or treat me like a monster."

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"They sound pretty cool."

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"You think Elves would be even more scared of demons than humans, what with the war, but they aren't at all. I guess having a Timothy as your crown prince would help with that."

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"The war?"

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"Uh. There was a war going on between a couple Elf worlds when they accidentally summoned someone and then learned about summoning. And a planet got holed, during the war. Elves are immortal so they're all back alive but, like, still."

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"...shit."

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"Yeah. There was a war crimes trial, Michael and Timothy went."

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"What'd they sentence the summoner to?"

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"The summoner was like a six year old who drew the circle by accident."

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"Oh."

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"Trial was for the demon."

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"What'd they sentence the demon to, then -"

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"Uh, restitution to the victims and four hundred years' supervision, I think?"

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"...like, Ganymede supervision -"

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"Looser than that, Elves let us talk. But Ganymede approved the binding apart from the lack of gag, which they thought was very dangerous."

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"If somebody holes a planet I don't think it's letting 'em talk you wanna worry about."

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"You'd think. The funny thing is that Elves, unlike humans, actually do have souls, though it wouldn't really be a thing of talking them out of them."

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"Huh?"

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"They have these chips in their heads that - back up their brains to a computer, basically. If they die you can resurrect them from the chips, and if demons put a body around a chip it works okay. We can't make the chips, of course, since we can't make minds. But someone could steal one and then have an Elf to hurt and kill and resurrect and so on, if they were a shitty person."

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"Oof."

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"Yeah. Every once in a while I check to make sure there are no chips in Hell because if there were I could go find 'em and get them out. There aren't so far."

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"That's good then..."

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They're back. "Can I get you anything?"

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"Sure why not, gonna be short on discretionary income..." List.

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Done! "Take care."

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"Thanks!"

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The demon goes to Hell.

 

The other circles open for him include one with a gag; is it otherwise terrible or does it just have a gag.

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It's not very nice.

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Summoner?

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Some lady he doesn't recognize.

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He writes home instead and then spies on her. Published works?

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Tedious blog posts about every fucking thing from the shape of teabags to her neighbor's annoying mullberry tree to her grandchildren's ungrateful behavior to, yep, irresponsible summoning behavior. Several crochet patterns.

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Charming. Well, he can't take circles for him until she gives up. 

 

He could take random ones, with little audio player behind his ear to hopefully screen the gagged ones. He makes a note he's doing that.

 

 

It takes a while to catch one; they feel completely different and go fast.

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...the audio recorder does not screen for gagged ones.

"...you're a kid," says the summoner.

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He is an annoyed kid trying to feel pleased about falsifying a theory. "Gags are really annoying," says the audio player, "and it's safer to summon demons without them. Gags are really annoying and it's safer to summon demons without them."

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"Oh, god, I don't have time for this, do you want to fix amputees before they bleed out for whatever you can extract from me or not."

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He crushes the audio player. " - yes summoner."

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She marches him over to a field hospital which is much more field than hospital for values of field that are exploded rubble and produces a hacksaw and starts forcing painkillers down people's throats and sawing through pinned limbs.

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He can give them new ones.

He can't offer to get them a list of medical angels, or draw out most of the circles and pay for them, he can't say that he hasn't completed medical school but knows enough to drug them safely himself.

But he can give them new ones. He does that.

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Eventually everybody is free and has all their limbs. The summoner stalks away from them, teeth gritted, and when she is behind half an exploded wall she looks at him flatly.

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He wraps his wings around himself and looks back at her.

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"I don't know how this works, I'm not a real summoner."

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Nod. 

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"So what do you want, or do you just follow me around forever now, or -"

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He can't say. Because he's gagged. He can continue to not look inclined to hurt her and maybe she'll propose a new deal?

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"Maybe you don't want anything? Does that mean I can dismiss you now? I don't know how this works -"

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He wants to fucking talk but even if 'whatever I can extract from you' includes 'snap the binding' there's no way to get that without scaring her.

 

 

He sighs. He points at a rock on the ground.

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...she gives him the rock.

"Okay. Thanks."

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Nod.

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And he's home.

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Where the fuck was that, what happened -

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New Guinea. The news has picked it up soon enough. Some people were living in an abandoned house off the grid trying to avoid governments noticing them for a variety of reasons and an unmaintained heater exploded.

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He doesn't need to sleep until he finishes med school. He sits down and starts reading.

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Med school books will always be there for him.

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Yeah, because he's a demon. Did people die, how many people died -

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Two people died before his circle was completed and none after that.

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Okay. That's okay. 

 

He makes basement dwellers and he occasionally writes Cam with questions and he does medical school.

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Don't dose by visible vein, you'll get too used to it and be confused if you ever treat somebody darker.

You okay? Did something happen?

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One of the stories about the incident mentioned that they summoned a demon and did amputations with a hacksaw. He writes Cam's letterhead on the top of a copy of that one and tries dosing without visible veins.

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Jesus Christ.

Must have been a preprint in an emergency kit or something, must not have had time to go through a medical angel list. Or didn't have one.

You did good.

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Couldn't give them a medical angel list. Maybe I should keep one in a pocket or something.

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You'd've been gagged out.

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I'm glad she didn't get someone who was a jerk. She was - good. Lots of people couldn't amputate limbs with a hacksaw even to save peoples' lives. She looked at me like - 

- we should have new emergency kits printed with a script or something that suggests saying 'in exchange for magic interdimensional stuff' instead of 'whatever you can extract from me', I would be happy if no one were ever in a position to say that again.

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Where would she have gotten the stuff in a timely manner? Also I doubt the kit said to say that.

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What's the definition of a timely manner as usually relates to payment - emergency services got there within an hour or so - and I doubt it gave any guidance because without magic stuff there isn't good guidance to give but with magic stuff there is.

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It isn't about time so much as earnest progress, which you can't do with things extradimensional saviors are going to bring you any minute now. An hour might be safe but two wouldn't.

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Nod. Sigh. 

 

He makes another video. It's mostly of the view of the city from the place he's made himself. "I took a summons in New Guinea. There'd been an explosion and they needed someone to give people new limbs. It was - I want to say it was horrible, but it was mostly horrible for people other than me, it seems silly to complain about how scary I found it. Anyway, I've been working through med school and it wouldn't have helped, the binding didn't let me do anything other than the new limbs, but I realized I don't think I'll be okay if I get summoned into some place where I could help if I knew enough, and I hadn't done demon med school yet because I was playing with the dragons. So that's what I've been up to lately, sorry it's been quiet." 

He has Aaron post it for him; he checks the comments during breaks.

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Some people heard about the explosion. That was him? Wow. Is he going to say that the binding should have let him do something other than new limbs? Is he going to look up the people he helped later?

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No, actually, the binding for summoning an emergency random demon definitely should not let that demon drug people and drugging people before their limbs were amputated was the main thing he'd wished he could've done. It would've been good if he could have offered to get them a list of medical angels and to pay said medical angels, but no one extra died because he couldn't help them find angels, at least not this time. 

 

He checked that the people were all okay and he checked that emergency services had gotten there and it wasn't, like, a war zone that no one had bothered mentioning needed humanitarian aid or something like that where it would have helped for him to fairy right over with a better summons and do reconstruction. 

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Yeah there are not too many war zones about these days.

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Well he hadn't thought so but you should have seen the place. 

 

It's almost a month before he thinks to spy on Richard Moon again.

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Richard Moon has answered some comments on his fanfiction. He has registered an opinion on the forum discussion about Imbrium dome-edge construction. He negatively reviewed a Martian barbecue restaurant.

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Summoned any demons?

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Richard Moon has not completed any valid circles recently.

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Eventually Minor, in a better mood and now qualified to handle emergencies if they come up and the binding permits it, swings home for hugs and dragons and a video announcing this achievement. (Michael's been posting regular dragon-updates in his absence.)

He finds Miranda. 

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Karen is in the room they've been sharing. (Miranda's only complaint about sorting Slytherin was that she did not get to room with Karen.)

There's only one bed in it now.

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" - hey."

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"Hey, are you looking for Miranda? She got her own room."

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"- yeah I was. Do you know the number -"

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"206, it's across the hall." Point.

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Knock knock.

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"Hi Minor!"

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"Hey! I'm back for a bit - I think I'll probably take random summons some more, even if only one in a hundred is like that it'd be worth it for it not to go to some jerk - but I should take a break first. ...considered suggesting they pause Revelation for my break, decided not to do that."

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"It might be a little self-centered."

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"Bright does it. Or did it, don't know if he still does."

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"His project involves more personnel wrangling and stuff."

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"Yeah. Anyway. Good to see you."

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"You too!"

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"What are you up to?"

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"I went and talked to Bella's mom and borrowed some more of her monsters and have been doing experiments. And helping with the automated potionmaking trials."

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"Cool, how are those going?"

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"Unfortunately it looks like we can't automate much about potionmaking. Specifically I am currently nearly convinced that a magic person has to do all the steps that sound really stupid, like stirring exactly seven times counterclockwise. Purely mechanical stuff like powdering and chopping, or just mixing till combined or adjusting the heat, can be done by a thing or by a nonmagic person but with a lot of ingredients you run into freshness problems very fast and the rest of them are exactly the easy parts that don't help very much to automate away. I do think it would be possible to come up with an efficient assembly line if we had magic people who wanted to do that."

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" - that's obnoxious. We could probably get a magic person assembly line once we open Hazel but dunno when we should open Hazel."

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"Yeah, Hazel's all complicated. Godspring's a good practice world, maybe soon."

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"Has Godspring been going well?"

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"Yeah! Oh, I'm also paying attention to how getting them to cut it out with the slavery is going, and it's going pretty well, the main problems after the economic incentives go away are, like, 'but I like my slaves personally' or 'but how else do we deal with criminals' or 'I feel low status otherwise' or 'wait, you can just not have slaves, who knew', surprisingly little 'but it's our culture' or anything else that would interfere heavily with affecting the countries at all to try to address. It's not straightforward but it's not just a wall of reasonless obstructionism!"

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"Oh, that is good. And are the slaves super mad that we could've done it faster and didn't, I kind of would be -"

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"Uh, some of them. Like, 'we weren't allowed to go to the dots and summon and then my kid died', like that."

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"Well. Yeah."

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"Yeah. I get where the demon who went and freed a bunch of them even though Bright told her not to do that was coming from."

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"When you're the law it seems like the law's really important but when the law's hurting people and you're just kind of there it seems like the people are more important."

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"Yeah."

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"Timothy threatened to kill those guys on the Moon and I'm sure if it were an alt of us running the Moon - well, it'd be run better but - they'd say 'you can't do that' and it's not exactly that they'd be wrong."

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"I mean, I'm not totally sure he should've done that, either, but also I didn't like it when he left you for a week, so probably the entire problem is you got kidnapped in the first place and if a Timothy ran the moon we could go 'hey, Moon Timothy, this thing happened, get your shit together'."

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"That's a serious advantage to places with Timothys running them."

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"Yes it is."

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Hug.

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Hug.

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"I should go. Take summonses."

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"I know you would have a lot of practical trouble working yourself to death but please be careful with anything that would be characterized that way if you were still a human."

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Hug. "I will."

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"Good." Hug.

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Instead of going to take summons he goes to find Timothy. 

 

"So, uh."

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"You want to kiss Miranda?"

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"Well only if she likes me but I want her to like me."

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"I think she likes you."

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"There's likes and then there's likes-likes - there are dozens of languages that have better words for this and you don't speak any of them -"

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"I am a terribly negligent son and brother."

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"So how do I ask her -"

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In strolls Cam. "Ask who?"

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"Miranda!"

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"Well, if you want, I could just tell her that you've had an obvious crush on her for a considerable time now and she can collect you at her leisure, but it lacks panache."

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"Do I need panache."

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"Well, are you aiming for 'oooooh' or 'oh okay'?"

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"Ooooh! Definitely oooooh! Oh okay is not okay."

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"Then you may require panache. I recommend not going with the 'pine for one hundred Years' approach."

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"Yes, I know. I was asking Timothy how to tell her not whether to wait a millenium."

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"Well, Timothy probably knows this better than me, if I wanted to hook up with a Bell I'd just wait till it was obvious common knowledge that this was going to happen and then riff on it."

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Timothy giggles. "I think you should tell her pretty much exactly what you wrote our father a week after you met her, with some extra compliments on accomplishments since, and ideally then mention you terraformed her a planet where a bunch of the slaves from Godspring have immigrated and does she want to help you administer it but you two are fourteen so that is less obviously a good idea than if you were older."

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"I could wait until I'm older but not way older."

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"You wrote your father about her a week after you met her?"

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"I said she was really smart and had good ideas for experiments for a topological map of Hogwarts and invented an alphabet for Igbo and was this how you identified the person you wanted to marry."

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"You should tell her that. ...Disclaim the marriage proposal though."

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"Yeah, I know, that's not how the multiverse does things."

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"Also I don't think this is likely to be a problem but if it would really break your stride to know that she has been misleading everyone about her ancestry you should know that going in. She may or may not still be under the impression that you'd care."

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"About - oh, blood purity? I thought that was stupid even when I had genes all the time and not just when actively concentrating on them."

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"Do you want my guess at her reaction to that or would you rather get it from her."

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"Is it bad?"

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"It's sarcastic."

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"That's okay, then."

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Cam coughs and does a terrible imitation of Miranda's accent: "Where could I possibly have got the idea that you care who people's grandparents are, I wonder."

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 - giggle. "- that's different. I don't care if they're wizards -"

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"Just if they're French?"

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"Just if they're terrible! Though. I guess it's not really fair to care about that either."

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"How enlightened."

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"Anyway, she did say that was a secret but I am quite confident it was okay to tell you, so now you know."

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"I'll keep it one."

 

And he goes and flies around and does a bunch of medical practicing again and makes three videos of him in aerial playfights with dragons and then goes and knocks on Miranda's door again.

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She is apparently in the middle of rebraiding her hair; half her head is all fluffy. "Hi!"

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"Hi!"

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"What's up?"

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Miranda lets the silence sit for a bit and then aims the wand Karen made her at her head and resumes chanting, "Plectere plectere plectere plectere." It braids up neatly.

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Minor fidgets.

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When her hair is all done she says, "Okay, you can't be under a silencing spell or a gag or something, you said hi..."

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"- yeah, sorry, I was just having a hard time putting all the words in order. Uh. A week after we met I wrote my father and I said that Miranda was brilliant and had ideas I hadn't thought of for our out-of-class magic experiments and made an alphabet for Igbo and was that how you picked the person you wanted to marry. And he said yes but also you should wait and see if you wanted to kiss her. And I do. Want to kiss you. Not get married, it's not really 1802 anymore."

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"A week?"

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"I have been criticized for lots of things but not being unobservant!"

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Giggle.

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"Um, you should know that I have -"

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"Cam said. I'm - sorry for acting like the sort of person who might care."

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"Good, that would have been very annoying."

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Wing-hug?

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Winghug! Little cheek kiss.

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"I really like you."

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"You're great."

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Bounce bounce. "Anyway. That was all. - when I take summons I think about the face you'd make if I told you what I did and it helps me make better decisions sometimes."

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"- aw, really?"

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"Yeah." He squeezes her hand.

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"What decisions would I have made exasperated faces at or don't I wanna know?"

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"Like the time I got summoned with no binding by accident. I had no idea what to do and I was considering going to find my summoner and I thought you'd be like 'well you could ask Cam' so I did that."

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"Hee." Hug.

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Hug!!

 

And Minor flies around gleefully and makes faces at the dragons.

 

Then he gets himself dismissed.

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Circles!

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He looks at all of 'em.

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Several friendly ones and still the unfriendly one by the lady with the crochet patterns and terrible blog.

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Maybe he will ask someone to help him stop by her house and invisibly sabotage her circle later.

 

He takes a random one.

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Godspring dot! Five year old child! She falls on her butt in startlement when he appears, then giggles.

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Awwwwwww! "Hi! Can I get you anything?"

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Giggling a lot, cannot answer. Her mother suggests some items tentatively.

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"She has to agree - to, like, those in exchange for something, it can be something trivial - but once she can do that no problem."

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The little girl unties her hair ribbon and holds it out.

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Awww. Okay. He takes the hair ribbon and makes them the items. 

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"Thank you!" says the mother, and the little girl giggles again and concentrates Real Hard on sending him home.

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Awwwww.

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The same specific circles are still there.

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Minor is not taking chances on grouchy lady.

 

It takes a while to get a general one, again.

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Orc! He wants a ridiculously elaborate playground.

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Yeah sure. How are orcs paying demons?

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They started working on artificial wombs when they heard daeva can't have babies but those aren't ready yet! In the meantime maybe Minor would like a city tour or to hold a baby or something?

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....he giggles. "- that's thoughtful of you guys but artificial wombs might actually not be a very good thing to have in Hell."

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"...why?"

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"Some people want kids and would use them to have kids. But - some people might just think it was funny to have fragile people around - everyone in Hell is indestructible - and might collect slaves instead of having kids."

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"...but it's awful that you can't have kids -"

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"Yeah, I think there's an adoption program in Godspring. It's just destructible people in Hell that would be bad. You wouldn't have kids right now if they would probably just die, right, you'd wait until it was safer..."

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"We're not Elves, we don't stop having lives when there's a war on or anything. But you can go somewhere else and have kids there?"

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"Yeah, when I'm grown up myself."

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"Oh, of course, you're at the age where you should just be practicing with little siblings and cousins, sorry, I wasn't sure - I've never seen a daeva before."

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"Yep. Where do you want your playground?"

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He has the area marked out in chalk on the ground cover.

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He can have a playground!

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Yay! Does he want to hold the baby?

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Sure.

Orc babies are super ugly-cute.

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Yes! Also, they don't cry, just sort of make faces. When this baby makes a face her daddy gives her a chewable object and she chews it.

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He can see why that would be more appealing than human babies. He does not comment on how orcs are obviously well-engineered to be an army of slaves for Melkor, that would be rude.

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He can hold the baby as long as he likes and then the orc will dismiss him.

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...eh, one more, why not. 

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Godspring again, toothless old lady.

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"What can I get you?"

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"What? I don't hear so good, little... wingy... whatever you are," she says.

"Mother's just doing it for the immortality bit, she doesn't need anything," says her son.

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"You should probably get angels or fairies, then, the dots have stuff to pay them for their time with. Or do they, are you out or something -"

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"They said something about those taking longer and this dot is crowded so they gave us this circle instead. MOTHER YOU CAN SEND HIM BACK NOW."

"What?"

"YOU CAN SEND HIM BACK NOW."

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He waits to go back, drops a note to Bright - check wait times on angels and fairies, I wasn't sure if he meant there were long lines to summon or that there are long waits for an answer once you draw a circle -

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Which is it -

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Wait time averages thirty seconds for fairies, a minute and twenty seconds for angels, which is enough to add up at a crowded dot.

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Is that higher than it used to be?

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Used to be almost no waiting at all in Revelation.

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He drops Cam a note. I want to know if that's fewer angels taking summons or just the increase in demand. 

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Cam conjures up some Heaven and Fairyland news, since he can read it in Milliways, and concludes: The increase in demand is doing most of it, but some indirectly - they no longer pounce on summons when they might want one soon, they expect to be able to get one anytime and wait till they feel like it. Surveyors think more people are taking summonses but average payout's improved so they don't have to show up to six of them to get what they want.

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Think we should alternate which summoning-capable worlds have time passing in them, or anything like that? I don't think we should add another...

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Yeah don't add one till demand from dots levels off and can be more addressed by retrieving locals. Wait time on randoms is not catastrophic, but maybe find some daeva who are keen to be individually summoned a lot for some higher effort payout? Take dot summonses all day for twelve languages and a Puffskein and five doses Polyjuice plus a tipoff about how fun Elf hair is?

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He'll conduct interviews. 

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He will try to help with the summoning demand problem! By taking summonses, that is.

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Plenty of Godspring, some Ardas, some Revelation.

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And back to Milliways he goes. "Next concordance is Fairyland and coming up, right? If we can get something from Limbo out then the flat Arda Valar can portal in..."

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"How recently from Fairyland would it have to be, Hell has some indestructible curiosities from before trains were invented... they'd be unpopular to take but not hard to look at."

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"No idea."

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"Well, that'd be the thing to know."

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"What would?" asks Karen, heading in to collect breakfast from Bar. "...Hi, Minor."

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" - hi. How recently from a world something needs to be for the Valar to portal to it. So we can go to Limbo."

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"Oh. Cool."

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Nod. "How have you been."

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"I'm fine."

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" - okay."

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...breakfast. Breakfast is fascinating.

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Okay. He leaves Ambela a note asking how recently of a place the Valar need a thing to be.

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And Ambela inquires.

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...they're not sure, sorry.

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Well, there is a Limbo imported harp known to be in such and such a place if they want to go look at it.

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They go look at it; can't get a portal.

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There's a Fairyland concordance soon but they will need to go alongside a very fast train designed to take up all of the space in the concordance.

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They can be immaterial, that should not interfere with very fast train. Also that's an impressive work of engineering on the Limboites side to have a concordance-length of fast-moving train's worth of tracks, how did they build them?

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The daeva worlds ferried them materials during pre-train concordances.

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They'll have someone portal-capable in Fairyland once it's time.

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And Ambela reports this to whom it may concern.

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"Summoning shortage is a real problem. The set of my fathers who are working on that think they might have an angle on non-Milliways interworld transit that doesn't require access to both worlds already, but we can't do anything for those worlds once we find them, not at a rate even vaguely resembling the rate we'd need. And there are another couple Ardas coming up on the parole of Melkor to intervene in."

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"At least Ardas at that age don't have humans and aren't so urgently in need of summoning."

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"Yeah. The risks of introducing them and tempting some orcs to retaliate for the side-effects of the sudden sanifying of the Valar might outweigh the benefits, honestly. Maybe when we start worldhopping we'll find a resurrection solution."

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"Maybe the Singularity orcs should talk to the ones in other worlds."

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"There's an idea. Might be disruptive, but - they all deserve to know and hearing it from other orcs will probably go over better."

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"Yes, exactly."

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" - should probably be someone other than me, are there some nations in your Endorë on good terms with their orcs..."

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"Yes, most of them, orcs are perfectly nice under unconstrained conditions. I met some myself, if I try I can spend most of a day in an orc city without having to sing and I went to Endorë on our honeymoon - that wasn't recent though, probably better to go through Brithombar or something."

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"That sounds lovely. I'll drop Brithombar a message."

 

He does that.

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Brithombar can introduce him to orcs well-positioned to get Singularity's orcs in touch with local ones in a stable and productive way. Also some of the more socially liberal or ungoverned Elven states in Endorë now have a thriving demon sex trade they're not sure whether to expect the Valar to object are the Valar inclined to object.

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Probably not. Right?

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....that sounds complicated what does Ambela think or should they try to reason it out themselves and then compare their conclusion to Ambela's?

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She's curious what they come up with!

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People have a preference that makes no sense to the Valar, usually when that happens the best thing to do is to not try stopping them from acting on it unless it's hurting people. This could be hurting people if they agree to a deal and then can't withdraw agreement, or if they agree to a deal under emergency circumstances, so those things are probably bad but those are also things that disallowing wouldn't fix. It could also be hurting people if casual or transactional sex is inherently bad for Elves. But Elves probably have more insight into that than they do. Uh, they think the answer is to check that people aren't doing that because they are systematically desperate for some reason? And to collect data on the inherently bad for Elves question. 

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That is also Ambela's conclusion!

Also, Elves have an easier out than most species from deals they can't renege on because they can if they want just die to dismiss their daeva and be reembodied.

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People aren't doing it because they're systemically desperate they're doing it because having demons around is amazingly convenient and also demons get so excited over how pretty Elves are, it's very flattering. They're mostly doing long-term tasks so the task isn't complete and the demon can be dismissed if they are being a jerk. Obviously they're collecting data on detrimental social effects.

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Good!

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The soul Elves are so weirded out by this. 

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"Unless you don't end up married to someone who isn't themself an Elf? There are presumably worlds in which this came up - Bar, soul Ardas, stories about interspecies relationships..."

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Bar produces stories!

It looks sort of like Eru's case by casing it or something.

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He reports this.

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"Charming. You poor things."

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"It probably wouldn't bother most people that much, but..."

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"But thoroughly ruin a few lives? Which is exactly how Eru likes it."

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"Well, the constraint would annoy a lot of people in an incidental not particularly tragic way but the life ruining is probably why it works like that, yes."

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"Yeah. If it's rare enough they don't treat it as a constraint, more opportunity for-" Sigh. "Well, none of our worlds have summoning and they don't need it soon or anything."

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Nod.

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They finish ending slavery in Godspring, except in one country whose paranoid King is convinced there'll be a slave revolt like the one in his northern province thirty years ago, and cannot be bribed, he has daeva now thank you very much. 

"Could airlift the slaves out," he says, when he gets home from a week of negotiating with a brick wall. "Or could depose him, it's not as if he is otherwise competent."

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"Could get that fellow that one demon helped."

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" - yeah. You know what, yeah, I think I will give him the means to pay as many daeva as he likes and ask him to please not kill anyone even though they deserve it, it will be valuable information about the merits of that approach and everyone he might murder has summoned. Sunset, can I -"

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Door.

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He is directed to the place where the former slaves live, and knocks.

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Slave revolt leader is fixing dinner; one of his friends opens the door.

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"Hi. I'd like to meet with Clerus, is there a way I can arrange that?"

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"Would you like to stay for dinner or come back in an hour?"

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"I'll stay if it's no imposition."

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"It's fine, Alatess makes sure we all have plenty."

Dinner is soup and bread and corn cakes and little lamb medallions.

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Birand and Thrazen both accepted compensation for their slaves and have none anymore, though they're dragging their feet on formal abolition. He reports this.

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Clerus expresses the opinion that they're probably hiding some, maybe ones the government didn't know about or was incentivized to cover up.

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Nod. "Want to go get them? I - didn't anticipate that in particular but that's broadly what I came here to ask you."

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Clerus makes an eloquent face, perhaps best summarized as "you hypocrite".

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"Yeah. Sorry. I could explain why I think it was better to wait until there was political stability and summoning coverage but - I wasn't bearing any of the costs. The point is, now we have the political stability and the summoning coverage and if there are any resources I can get you they're yours."

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"You weren't anticipating that, so why are you here?"

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"Lerex isn't letting us buy their slaves out, we tried, we're ready to just do whatever gets them out fastest at this point. I thought you might have advice. Or just want to do it yourself."

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"Don't speak Lerexen."

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"If that's the main barrier I can get you a translator."

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"That and not knowing anybody local, but I can fix that."

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"What do you need from us?"

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"A babysitter for Alatess and I think we can take it from there."

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He arranges a babysitter for Alatess and for a local to summon them a fairy for transit and translation.

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His fairy has to take her wings off for stealth but they disappear into the underground of the target country for two and a half weeks and then he turns up with conversational Lerexen, the king's head on a stick, a bastard prince to replace him, and half a million slaves who don't want to wait around to see how the bastard prince is at running things and want to leave right now please. Total non-king death toll is seventeen, all summoners who got between their slaves and not being slaves anymore in a way that unavoidably provoked violence when Alatess wasn't there to drug them (and one adverse drug reaction).

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" - congratulations. Have you arranged to make sure people can't summon the King back, do they want to live in Arda with you or are you making arrangements elsewhere -"

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"With us is fine except some of them liked the sound of orcs and a few hundred are in love with Elf architecture and want to live in it," says Clerus. "New King summoned his father and is keeping him in a tower with the other political prisoners, I assume if you have opinions about that you can take it from here."

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"I can live with that for now. Do you want to handle anywhere else?"

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"I will keep doing this as long as I have breath in my body and then I'll keep doing it with fewer personnel."

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" - all right. You know how to reach us if you need anything."

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He grins and zooms off with his fairy, who appears to possibly worship him.

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Not hard to understand why.

 

 

 

 

Someone in Thrazen explains to Clerus that the Elves won't stand for her being forced to give up her household slaves, the Elf prince bought himself some in Cefax and everything. It's the mistreating them which is a problem, and she doesn't do that.

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...Cefax doesn't have slavery...

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They have those prostitute mages, she heard about it from her brother who used to do shipping and now does fairy-trading there.

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Well, she can't have slaves anyway and if he has to fight the Elf prince about it later he has the connections to pull that off now but she is thanked for the information before she is knocked out and set aside to clear the way.

He goes to Cefax and investigates and knocks over a mining operation with bad labor conditions while he's in there and learns about the prostitute mages and figures out which ones the prince has and charms their little sister and talks to her about it. He considers addressing this less urgent than dealing with the next country's straggler slaveowners but bears it in mind for whenever he next runs into the prince.

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He's helping resettle people who want to live with orcs or Elves.

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Then they will probably next encounter each other when Clerus turns over some more people to resettle.

"How are Cir and Ruviri doing?" he wonders quietly.

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" - well. Do you - want to meet them -"

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"They sound very charming, I'm sure I'd be delighted."

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"If it's urgent I can ask someone to invite them out here. They're in our interdimensional hub."

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"Do you think it's urgent?"

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" - I can see why you would."

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"I have nothing else underway at the moment."

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"I'll write them."

 

 

Cir, he writes, please come by here, with Ruviri if possible, Clerus is concerned about you. 

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Cir and Ruviri and Ava and a fairy bodyguard are there an hour and a bit later and Cir promptly tucks himself under Maitimo's arm.

"Hello," says Clerus. "I met your family."

"I saw them a week ago. They're not worried about me, why are you?"

"I make it my business to worry about princes with arm candy they shelled out cash for."

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He flinches. 

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Cir squeezes Maitimo's hand. "He shelled out so I wouldn't have to have thirty clients, or to the extent I'm property would you rather I be communal property than personal?"

"If I knew what I'd rather I'd already be underway on it, trust me."

"I know what I'd rather and I got it honest as blue. Stop upsetting Maitimo."

Clerus glances at Ruviri.

"I don't have to account for where I go or how I use my magic to you," she says. "I'm not yours."

He seems satisfied enough at that.

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"There are people who would intervene if they weren't happy, in their world and in mine. There aren't actually people who would stop me for - merely being irresponsible about consent - but I've yet to figure out a way of achieving that in general which isn't - invasive. Are people - did I make the political situation worse somehow -"

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Clerus recites the interaction he had with the woman about her householders verbatim.

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"I'm sorry. I should have thought of that and conducted everything differently. I would, if I could do it again. Is there anything that'd help now -"

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"The folks I took from her house might like an apology, the people like their mistress might benefit from a clarifying statement..."

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Nod.

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"Nice to meet you," he says to Cir and Ruviri.

"Sure," says Ruviri.

Cir does not appear to like Clerus at all.

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Well. "I'm tremendously grateful to him," Maitimo tells Cir quietly. "A lot of people would still be suffering if Alatess hadn't found him. ...not being infallible I sometimes do things I absolutely should feel badly about, please don't get annoyed with the people who bring that to my attention, I don't want there to be fewer of them -"

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"I don't think I'm likely to be annoyed at him to the point where he ceases to exist," Cir whispers back.

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Giggle. "If I were a bad person you'd be glad he was prepared to pick a fight for you. I could've been."

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"You aren't." Snuggle.

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Kiss. "And you Know that, no one else gets such an advantage. I could have acted a great deal less like a bad person."

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"Well, I do Know it and he ought to know I do and I wouldn't hurt my family by protecting you if you were awful to me, they'd be miserable over it."

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"I could be a person who shouldn't be trusted to have the amount of power I have without being awful to you. And the thing with you is evidence of that kind of problem too."

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Harrumph.

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"Thanks for coming out here," he tells both of them, and then there are more settling-people-in logistics and the Noldor can make a formal statement that they consider slavery in all its forms unacceptable and appreciate the cooperation of every government on Godspring in abolishing it as quickly as possible. And he can apologize to anyone who Clerus thinks would want to hear it. Cir can stick with him if he pleases. 

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Cir accompanies him.

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"To be clear," he says when they have a moment in private, "the thing I am regretting is not dating you, it is failing to have set up a trust with your universal income and the money to pay for Ruviri in your name and had some lawyers not under my authority come over to explain it to you, and having somebody meet with you to explain how you could pursue a complaint against me through our legal system should you have one, and formally getting you citizenship three places that would be willing to pick a fight with me over it. It's - you know me, so telling you was enough, but if that weren't true I would have failed to do enough work ensuring that you believed me nothing at all was contingent. And people can't verify externally that I did that work, and they have the right to expect that evidence."

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"I don't see how people have that right at all."

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"It's - the contract between a prince and his people is that they will obey me and I will not abuse that trust. Which includes, if I look an awful lot like I'm abusing that trust, making a substantive effort to make available to them evidence that I'm not. A random private citizen would not have that obligation but that is because they are not expecting their word to be law. And outside home, I'm operating all-but-autonomously on projects affecting a billion people, and if I fail to be demonstrably good at that then people will be scared my future decisions will be bad, and being scared of that imposes a lot of costs on them. I don't know if Clerus changed his order of operations or the distribution of his resources around the possibility I was in fact casually keeping a couple of slaves and he needed to be prepared for the repercussions of taking me down and freeing them, but he might have, and if he did innocent people suffered as a result of my carelessness."

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...snuggle.

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Snuggle. "Should I not have asked you two here, I didn't want to upset you and I could probably just have sworn to enough things."

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"You needed me. ...Ruviri is a little annoyed."

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"Okay. You can tell her I'm sorry." Snuggle.

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"I will." Kiss.

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"It is of course precisely because she has the capacity to get annoyed with me that she is a more useful witness but I still regret annoying her." Kiss.

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"I could be annoyed with you," objects Cir.

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"You have a terribly high annoyance threshold for me! I would have to be astonishingly annoying."

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"That's because everything you do is adorable."

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"And that is because you are biased."

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"I'm not biased, I'm selectively but truthfully informed."

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"If you loved the people who stayed slaves while I was doing politicking you would be annoyed with me."

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"Would you've left them if I loved them?"

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" - well, no. But - that's an indictment of something about my priorities, all by itself -"

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Snuggle. "I don't think you have to care about everyone exactly the same."

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"I think it might be virtuous to set policy as if I did." Sigh. Snuggle.

 

 

There's an Aulë to spare now to make necklaces full time; he takes them to Liatsi rather than directly to the redmages - "because, ah, I'd rather this improve their quality of life rather than just increase their client load -"

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"I'll do what I can, although as I've said before I don't directly control the Temple-Guilds."

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"You have nonetheless frequently been possessed with good insights about how I can approach them."

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"The schedulers are typically people close to those they're scheduling; I don't think it will be hard to convince them that their redmages should be a little better off." Pause. "My retired redmage is considerably more dwindled than they are usually allowed to get and may not be able to carry on much of a conversation even with a necklace. He has - some words, more when he's touching someone, but..."

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" - we have people who can read minds, if that is something you or people close to him think he would consent to -"

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"Iamica or his father would know better than I."

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"I will ask them." He does, when delivering that Temple-Guild their necklaces.

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"I don't think he'd mind," says Iamica. "He was never a private person - he liked telling secrets but only because people like hearing them -"

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"Okay. I assume trying to explain to him wouldn't work -"

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"I... think he can understand most of what I say if it's not too complicated, as long as I'm touching him and gesturing a lot, but only for a moment, not long enough to really think about it."

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"Maybe see if the necklace helps with that?"

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Nod.

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And he gives them out, and expresses optimism about scheduling.

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Iamica reports that he put one on Wiar and he cried and remembered her name and didn't want to let her go.

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"He seemed - worse off?"

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"He seemed to know more about what was going on, it's only that what's going on is he can barely remember anything -"

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"We might be able to help more with better necklaces I just don't know -"

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"We don't actually know how many people it was, the ones who showed up can't have been all. The Revel House didn't keep records. It might have to be an astonishingly good necklace."

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"How long was he there -"

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"Not very long. They did have records before, of people who wanted a redmage - they'd been trying to get one for years - they destroyed them all after they had them all told there was one in -

- the Queen had it burned to the ground."

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He thinks of Cir. "Yeah."

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"- anyway I'm not sure if he'd rather have the necklace or just be more confused, but I don't think he'd have minded being mind-read."

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"Okay. I'll get someone." Is there a soul Elf free -

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"Mingling's on Ganymede. With parents, this time. I'll do it."

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"Iamica, my cousin Findekáno. He can project everything to you as he goes, you or Wiar can tell him to stop..."

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"If he can." She sighs. "Should I be with him or not -?"

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" - you probably have a better feel for that than I do."

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"I - I never know quite how careful I ought to be to avoid leaving him alone and as the children get older and can't just rotate in all the time it might matter more."

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"- why don't you be with him, then, and if it's going well he can send you what it's like when you leave -"

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She nods. She goes and sits with Wiar.

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And he listens.

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There is a person. He should really remember her name but he doesn't but she understands and it's okay, it would make her happy if he remembered it but it's not because she's upset with him. She's good and loyal and funny and mischievous and generous and hardworking and he loves her loves her loves her loves her. She thinks he's beautiful and he is supposed to fuck people who is supposed to wait until she wants him and she doesn't now and that's okay and she's soft and cuddly and caring and tired and he loves her loves her loves her. What's her name? Why is she so wonderful? He loves her. Everyone else is missing and he has no idea where they are or if they were real to begin with and there is a deep dead grief where they ought to be where are they he misses them but she's not worried and she is looking after him and she is good at that so they must be all right and he loves her loves her loves her.

He's very repetitive. Has to run through the thoughts over and over again. His working memory is tiny and his short-term nonexistent and his long-term barely there.

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Sending to Iamica. Not flinching, but only because he's had an awful lot of practice. It seems like maybe leaving him alone would be - hard for him -

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- okay. I can be more careful about having the children in for him and maybe ask his brother to move in -

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What does the necklace do - so we can design a better one -

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She puts the necklace over his head.

His long term memory twists into better if still terrible focus and the clearest sharpest memories are his people and they are not here and he has no idea where they are and he can't tell by looking at Iamica either where are they are they okay do they know he loves them do they know do they know what if they aren't okay and don't even know

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Makes it worse -

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She takes it off. He lets her, she means well and he doesn't remember that the necklace had anything to do with the shift in his thoughts - "Iam-"

He forgets what he was going to say. He pets her.

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Ouch.

 

Uh, it looks like the necklace helps long-term but not short-term, so just makes the missing people more acute - we could maybe track them down by conjuring, would that be - it might not even help since he doesn't remember anyone who isn't in the room -

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There'd be a lot of them, I don't see how he could look at them all at once.

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Yeah. We can look into something that does better short-term memory instead, maybe - so he's not just repeating the same thoughts over and over -

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That would be nice. Probably. She calls one of the kids in to take her place. Wiar's thoughts change when he gets a look at Tsira and again when she touches him and again when Iamica lets go and again when she leaves, different little loops of attention.

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He goes home. And sings.

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Some of the demons on Ganymede just want their favorite sites bookmarked so they can navigate to them despite being unable to write. Some of them want to complain. A confusing number of them want to solicit sex despite the fact that they are obviously married with a small child; she assumes daeva can't see the marriage but she knows they can see the small child. They relay conversations and summon demons to make the prisoners things and summon friends and facilitate reunions. It is not happy work but Mingling seems to have found in this place the peace his parents find in a workshop. 

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Mingling is cuddling with a demon who wanted to cuddle him and explaining badly about how there are the two kinds of Elves.

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She's a very good cuddler. So you're actually a lot older than my child.

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- huh?

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She looks pretty naturally occurring, mostly Asian but really tall and chestnut-haired. She's eight.

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- human? We can go and get her.

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Oh, no, no - very rarely children summon and then even more rarely they die but once in a great while there's one and this one liked me -

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- but then you've got to get home - oh no -

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Delenn will look after her - oh or you could tell her birth parents - she might not take a summons though -

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No no no if you have a kid you have to get home - we'll try summoning her - and writing her - but you can't be in jail if you have a kid, you can't, you can't, that's not okay at all!!

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She's all right, Delenn has her - Delenn's more likely to answer her mail than Olivia but she wouldn't take a summons either -

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I know she's all right it's just - not okay - he is hugging her and crying - not at all okay - I'll ask my parents -

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Fëanáro will you write them both I'm not good at written English - can she ask at the front desk what that demon was convicted of -

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Murdering her summoner.

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Is the trial public record - how long is the sentence -

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The trial is public record and fifty years or until unsuspicious summoner death.

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She'd like to read the trial transcript.

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Apparently this demon was on a regular shift as a communications conjuror for Mars. She was on a limited gag permitting her to speak when spoken to, and showed up to tell them she quit, and they said they couldn't replace her on short notice and she was staying for her shift, and she said she wouldn't and they said she'd better, and after they stopped talking to her about it she found a loophole in her binding allowing her to conjure the communications packet from Luna in her summoner's heart valve, killing him instantly. (It is noted that her binding's designer was also cited.) She then refused her circles for two years but eventually turned up when there were 320 of them.

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" - are humans who are being kidnapped permitted to use lethal force in self-defense?"

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"...yes?" says the front desk person. "I'm not a lawyer but I think so."

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"Is there any kind of appeals process -"

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"When she's done five years we reexamine the case if the victim's family asks us to."

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"Is that how the justice system for humans works, too?"

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"Not exactly? I'm still not a lawyer."

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"Can you help me look one up?"

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"One for humans?"

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"I want the best criminal defense lawyer in this star system, and if there are daeva-specific things or GCP-specific things they don't know by virtue of mostly defending humans we can bring in people who do have that expertise."

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"I'm... not equipped to identify the best criminal defense lawyer in the star system."

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"I am even less so equipped! We'll start with criminal defense lawyer."

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"Okay..."

Eventually he turns up somebody from Federated Stations.

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They'll send an email.

 

She will also write a note to Maitimo.

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...I'll see what I can do.

 

It has occurred to him that the Elf criminal justice system, which treats murder about the same as assault, is inappropriate to the case of species which die, uh, permanently. It seems that the human justice system's handling of murder might similarly be unfairly harsh in punishing murders of Elves, since after all the Elves can go on their way in twenty minutes without the memory of dying if they noted in their will that they preferred not to remember dying. Can he possibly arrange some negotiations with everyone he's established relations with, to establish as a point of law that the murder of people who actually permanently die is legally distinct from the murder of people who are immediately restored to good health? Does the GCP, which prosecutes some murders, want to send a representative?

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The Federated Stations lawyer is a fangirl of this one lady on Mars who in her personal opinion is the best criminal defense lawyer in the system.

Various negotiating authorities are willing to acknowledge as mitigating factors a) being alive and healthy after b) going about your business c) having as an option not remembering the experience and d) having expected this in advance, for purposes of threats and so on.

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That's good. 

Cam, I think at this point the advantages of humans knowing they have an afterlife outweigh the disadvantages. 

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...Cam reviews the prompting event. You realize they're going to completely champion the birth parents over the demon adoptive mom.

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Kid doesn't have to answer a summons.

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Yeah, but they can lay down 320 circles for a runaway as sure as they can for a murderer.

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They would do that? To force a child to return to a living situation they're voluntarily avoiding?

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I mean, you also don't know that she wouldn't prefer her original parents. But yes.

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If she'd prefer her original parents then that's a reason for them to know she's alive. But - their treatment of demons is so fucked up I have no faith in the ability of a typical Revelation family to lovingly parent one.

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They might figure it out quick if it was their kid.

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Maybe.

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And is the best defense lawyer in the star system interested in discussing a murder case with her?

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For six thousand Martian dollars an hour sure!

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He has money.

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She's not even entirely clear on what it is. But the lawyer gets paid. 

"So here's what happened: the defendant had just completed the adoption of a five-year-old girl. She went to work, asked to quit, was told she couldn't quit on short notice, and was locked in there; she pleaded with them to let her go and was refused; they gagged her and left her there; she killed someone escaping. She went home to her daughter. She was arrested two years later, convicted of murder and sentenced to fifty years in prison. The complication is that she's a demon."

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The lawyer looks really interested until the demon part. Then she looks fascinated. "How did she manage to adopt a child?"

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"Child demons appear in Hell sometimes. It's very rare but it happens. When they do, they have lots of interested adoptive parents, and Olivia - the child - liked Celendra - the defendant. Celendra had a long-term summons doing communications conjuration on Mars; she arranged a babysitter for her daughter and showed up to the summons to let them know she'd adopted a child and was quitting. They refused to dismiss her. They stopped talking to her, and she had a gag so she couldn't speak when she wasn't being spoken to. Eventually she killed her summoner so she could go home."

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"What's your interest in the case?"

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"I'm a variant kind of Elf with telepathy. We've been on Ganymede talking to the demons - because they're all gagged in prison, they can't write for example their daughter or their spouse or an attorney, they technically have internet access but they can't produce letters or words so in practice they don't. We can take dictation for them, we can notify friends or family of why they abruptly went missing and that they're not expected home for sixty, seventy years - Elven law doesn't permit gagging people for decades, see, so we're going to have telepaths continually accessible to the demons until the Ganymede Circling Police see fit to reconsider their own treatment of prisoners - anyway, she told me her story and I thought that if she were human it'd be a clear-cut case of self-defense, killing your kidnapper -"

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"Hm - where was this?"

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"Mars."

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"So, Martian law is built much more from the ground up than Earth law and every law on the books has an on-record justification or several of them, and in Martian law the primary reason self-defensive violence against kidnappers is permitted is the threat of physical harm - they might be taking you outside an arcology to have fewer witnesses, say - so I'd have to lean on secondaries, mostly the daughter..."

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" - would it also help if the dead summoner was in fact alive and well, and it was known to the demon that would happen?"

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"...Do explain?"

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" - some humans become daeva when they die. Elves don't, so we only learned that this was the case recently when some daeva told us and then we did conjuration to confirm it. It's a minority but a substantial minority - fifteen percent? and daeva can tell which ones. That summoner is now a fairy. Celendra knew this before she did it."

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"Hrm. I assume his family didn't know, and he couldn't straightforwardly return home, which means all the secondary reasons murder is illegal remain in place."

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"Yes. But - he kidnapped her, she kidnapped him back, so to speak."

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"Yes, I can see the argument. This could become very drawn out and I'll probably have to open by suing the GCP so I'll need to contact a colleague; possibly several. What's your legal budget?"

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" - uh, I would have to ask somebody about that. I expect we can spend as much as is needed. Especially if we could also get anywhere on establishing that the GCP's current trial procedures aren't good enough and daeva on trial should have the rights humans on trial would, I'm pretty sure they'd be willing to spend anything to achieve that."

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"That is... harder. There being some practical difficulties with bail and so on. I am confident there are improvements to be made but the bindings have to serve as arrest and prison guard both. I can call in an expert if that's a priority."

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"We can make arrests without the daeva taking a summons willingly but an effort to convince the GCP to do that stalled because we were just sending them home under a binding so they could never leave their respective realms again, instead of keeping them prisoner on a planet here."

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"What about that did the GCP object to?"

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"You'd have to talk to Prince Nelyafinwë, I'm really not sure."

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"All right, does he know to expect to be contacted about this? Does he have a private address or should I go through the office of embassies?"

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"He knows to expect this, yes." And he has a private address; she gives it.

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"Now, I am a defense lawyer, so Celendra will need to accept me as representation; are you confident that she will do that?"

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"Well, she can't talk, so you'll have to take our word for it that we're communicating her wishes accurately, but yes, I'm confident she will."

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"There's precedent for the use of interpreters."

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"I don't know if the gag would let her confirm a transcript of what she said to me. I think they usually let the demons make pieces of paper with writing at trial."

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"That's my understanding, and that they can nod."

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"Then I can get her confirmation she wants you as representation, and Prince Nelyafinwë's that the money isn't a constraint."

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"Very good. It's a pleasure to work with you."

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And Maitimo grimaces but confirms that there's enough trade to make the financials work and she goes to report to Celendra - I think there's a good chance she can get you cleared and you can go home, do you want her to represent you?

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That would be nice... the lawyer I had before didn't seem to want to be there.

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This lawyer is supposed to be really good and seems excited about taking the case. Want me to interpret so you can draft a letter confirming you want her to take the case?

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Yes please.

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And she does that. 

 

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He wants so so many cuddles, the world is not supposed to have things which are this Not Okay in it. 

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Hug. Someday no worlds will. 

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Letter gets sent off.

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And now Celendra is represented by Agueda Silva of Silva & Matos, South Olympus. Who promptly sues the GCP.

(Delenn gets around to answering her mail. She can tell Olivia to answer a summons if it's definitely safe. Olivia doesn't have any circles out for her right now so it shouldn't be that hard.)

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They can draw a circle for her and write to confirm it's theirs, and have one for Delenn as well if she'd like to supervise.

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Delenn thinks she should stay home in case Olivia gets sent back.

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Makes sense. They have a big stack of standard circles for this; she draws Olivia one.

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There's a delay and then Olivia appears. She's a skinny dark-haired olive girl with big eyes.

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And sudden fluency in Quenya. "Hi, Olivia. Want to go see your mom?"

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Nod nod.

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She takes her to the meeting room.

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She goes right up to Celendra and climbs in her lap and leans on her. Celendra hugs her and cries into her hair.

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(Elves maybe cry also. And interpret, if needed.)

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Olivia is very shy and doesn't like to talk through interpreters. She whispers in Celendra's ear. Yes Delenn took care of her and yes she went to her classes and yes she has been taking lots of pictures and videos so Celendra can look at them.

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She clings to her son very tightly.

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It's okay, amme, it's okay, everyone knows we're people.

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That's not okay at all.

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Hug. No, I suppose it really isn't. But you're gonna fix it.

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I am.

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Olivia doesn't have wings. The prison staff want to know where her parents are.

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"That's her mother. She's a demon; I'm her summoner and supervising."

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...he checks and then leaves them alone.

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Cling. 

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Yeah.

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There's enough room in the Ganymede arcology to fly around. Celendra flies Olivia around.

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Awwwwwwwwwwww.

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If enough money is thrown at her, Attorney Silva's office can pull off some impressive trial expediting. Presently the GCP has been sued enough to agree to an early appeal.

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The Elves are appreciative.

 

Is there any way the victim can be persuaded to appear?

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Well, he doesn't show up when a circle is drawn for him.

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They aren't going to draw two hundred. They can try hiring another fairy to go find him?

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It's not hard to find one who's willing to look him up, although that requires that he be look-uppable.

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Well, they can conjure for his location, at least.

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The fairy is also willing to go to that one Elfame suburb, sure.

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"Thank you."

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And presently the hired fairy writes in Found him, he says he'll come if Agnes wants him? Who's Agnes?

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He has no idea. He can check relatives -

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Agnes is his widow, since remarried.

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Well, that's awkward. He will notify her that her late husband is a fairy. 

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"Sorry, say again?"

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"When he died he became a fairy. He says he'll accept a summons if you want to see him."

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"...uh, who are you?"

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"I wanted to speak to him on an unrelated matter, got in touch with him, and got this reply -" he hands it to her.

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"Look, I don't understand what this is about, but it's not very funny."

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"I will tell him you don't believe us. Thanks for your time."

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She shuts the door on him.

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And he summons the contact fairy and explains that Agnes refused to believe them.

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"Yeah, I tried to tell a summoner once and he thought I was suicide-baiting him."

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"Is there any chance he'll be willing to come by just so she knows it's true and can make an informed decision instead of dismissing the possibility out of hand -"

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"I can go ask him if you want."

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"I'd appreciate it. Thank you."

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Fairy goes and asks. He answers his circle.

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"Hi. Thank you for coming. Is there any chance that before you go meet her I can get an affadavit or something about what happened, for the trial -"

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"Did it take them that long to catch her? She killed me, that's what."

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"Didn't answer the circles for a couple years. She has a good attorney and it looks like it'll be something of a high-profile case, a statement would be really helpful."

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"I don't know what you want me to say besides that she killed me."

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"That's all, just in front of some people who can witness and notarize it and stuff."

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"They have to usually be able to handle murder trials without consulting the victim, don't they?"

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"Well, we're getting a portal to Limbo, so not anymore."

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"Huh. Well. How's Agnes doing?"

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"Told me it wasn't a very funny joke. I suppose I should have expected that."

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Sigh.

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"Shall we head over there?"

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"Yeah, all right, she still live in the same house?"

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He gives an address.

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"Yeah, same place. Do I have to bring you, or -?"

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"You have to be accompanied, yeah. I think I can stay outside the house."

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So the fairy brings him along and goes and lets himself in.

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And he informs their attorneys that the victim answered a summons so he could talk to his wife but was disinclined to have any involvement with the proceedings.

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Can he take a picture of him? Unchiplocked?

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Sure, that's easy. 

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That'll be admissible as evidence and can be dated by a forensics demon, then.

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He arranges to take a picture when the fairy's done speaking with Agnes.

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He stomps out of the house five minutes later, looking furious.

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Picture. "Doesn't believe you either?"

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"Oh, no, it's not that, she married Dionisio, that insufferable - I can't believe - he lives in my house now! -"

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"I'm so sorry. I'd be furious."

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"Dionisio! You know, he votes Olympian Peace Party? And she married him!"

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Sympathetic nodding.

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"Ugh."

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"Anyone else you want to see -"

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"No, I hate my sister and my parents were dead already." Sigh.

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"I'm sorry. Let me know when you're ready to go home."

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"Now's good."

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Home. 

 

He tells the lawyer there are pictures of a grouchy fairy standing outside his home.

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Photographer and time window?

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He sends a name and date.

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That should be all she needs from him.

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That and lots and lots of money. Which they have, and spend. 

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Yes, that too.

She puts together a case. The trial date arrives. The prosecution is lackluster; they usually don't have to work too hard to not dismiss daeva accused of murder. The defense is a rhetorical masterpiece leaning on the topical recent meeting of Elves ("As we meet more species do we want to show them xenophobic paranoia even to people who look so like us, who have such familiar needs as a chance to go home to their loved ones, to leave their places of work, to speak?") and tears apart the circumstances of her original trial ("even demon defendants are legally entitled to conjuration confirmation of disputed claims; yet the record shows that no model of Olivia ever appeared even after Celendra explained her urgency"; "the penalty for delayed appearance is farcical; no human is expected to turn themselves in if this will result in a dozen of their neighbors seeking to appropriate their children and they expect a bigoted miscarriage of justice about which they will be physically restrained from crying aloud") and gets in a few shots about the conditions on Ganymede before the judge tells her that's a separate topic.

Celendra's sentence is commuted to time served and the GCP is ordered to dismiss her.

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And she and Fëanáro watch and cling to their son and cry.

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What a good lawyer. Do law firms keep demons on retainer for forensics or anything -

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Sometimes! Hers doesn't but there's one they summon occasionally if they need it.

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That sounds like a fun job; he makes a note to look into getting on lists to do that job. 

 

...also would Clerus and Alatess mind if there were a documentary released in Revelation about their fight to end slavery in Godspring, it'd probably do astoundingly well and maybe get Revelation interested in helping integrate new citizens if any want to live there.

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Clerus needs documentaries explained to him, and the historical memetic importance thereof, but after that he agrees.

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Oh good. He's not qualified to put it together but he can send some inquiry letters.

 

If that annoying lady hasn't closed her circle yet he might ask one of his brothers to sneak over and sabotage it.

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It is still open!

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Then does anyone mind disillusioning themself and heading in and crossing out the gag?

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He really doesn't. Michael could too but Michael despite now being seventeen or eighteen or so still hasn't technically passed his Apparition tests. 

 

Where's the circle?

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In her living room.

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That's fairly promising for it not being a zoo summons. He will scratch out key bits of binding while she's out anyway, because trying to get Minor dismissed is much harder than arranging for him not to be trapped in the first place. "But don't give her a heart attack, okay?"

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"I will pretend to be a very gagged demon until she starts being a jerk, promise." Are any of the other circles live for him horrible -

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Nope.

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Then he'll take one!

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Here is the lady's living room! She is in the kitchen and doesn't notice right away.

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He promised so he doesn't yell. He does flump loudly on the floor.

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She looks over her shoulder. "Oh! I was beginning to imagine you'd never show! Now you, young man, have been very irresponsible with those dragons, I know you just get little bites and heal up in a hot second but the boys and girls and whatnots watching you aren't so lucky and they're going to go up to strange dogs or worse go catch themselves alligators or ask a demon for a tyrannosaur egg and try to keep the dinosaur as a pet and next thing you know some little elementary schooler is waiting in line for the medical angels to rebuild their hand or worse because you make it look like such fun to play with aggressive strong animals and you don't mind getting chomped so why should they? And you ought to have known better by your age -"

She goes on like that.

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Demon pretends to be gagged and only rolls his eyes a little, Timothy should be so proud of him.

 

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She goes on like that for an hour.

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Demon is going to sit on the floor and pick at his wings.

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She will add a fifteen minute digression about displaying respectful attention when your elders tell you that you've gone wrong, then.

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It's almost as bad as History of Magic. ...except probably she won't actually beat him for not listening. Going back to Hazel is going to be so weird. 

 

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And when she is out of things to say, she goes and gets him a book of crochet patterns and puts it in his hands and tells him to make his little girlfriend something nice and then she dismisses him.

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- that's almost endearing. He writes Timothy to say he's okay and didn't talk at all. He gets a video of demons flying around a crowded cityscape in Hell. 

- he's actually not that far from where Celendra and Olivia live, he writes them asking if they'd mind if he dropped by.

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Celendra does not mind but Olivia is very shy and he should not expect her to talk.

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He will not expect her to talk.

 

He heads over.

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The TV is on and Olivia is drinking juice and watching cartoon characters. Celendra lets him in.

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"Hi. I was following the trial. Everything okay?"

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"For now."

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"Won't happen again. To anyone."

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"Her birth parents -"

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" - are they trying to get custody?"

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"I don't think they know, yet, but they're out there -"

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"If Olivia or you happen to want to not be summonable, I know someone who could arrange that."

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"How?"

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"It's how the Elves handle daeva who've killed people or whatever. Summons with a really loose binding that just prohibits leaving Hell, and then you walk through a door and go home. Could do it without the binding, for you two, the point is while you're on a summons you won't feel other ones."

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"I'd like that - Olivia and I haven't talked about her going back, though, if people in the human world knew..."

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"Then maybe the best arrangement would be shared custody somewhere that's less horrible to demons than Revelation - uh, the human world. It's - up to Olivia, but - I would never raise a demon child there."

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"She doesn't look it, but... I don't know where we'd go. Off with the Elves?"

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"There's also Godspring. Or the place I live, if Olivia wants to hang out with the dragons, but it's an - eventful place, you might want a quieter one."

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"I don't think dragons are her speed, but I could be wrong."

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"Yeah. I check for Minor Way, if you want any of that or if anything else comes up. I'm - really glad you're home."

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"Thank you, that's very sweet of you."

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And he'll take the rest of the specific summons.

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He has some fans who want to meet him!

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Much more fun than getting safety lectures from stuffy ladies!

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And after those he has a summons from a park in India that wants dragons!

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Same terms as Jurassic Park!

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They would be happy to have him duplicate their enclosure and they want Ruby and Otto.

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That can be arranged. Theodore can probably fairy over to consult for them, too, Theodore's the expert on dragons.

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Jurassic Park doesn't have a noncompete clause? Okay, great, they'd love to have him.

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He isn't sure he's legally employed there or anywhere, child labor laws and so on. He'll tell him to drop by.

 

 

There's a sending-off party for Ruby and Otto; he makes it rain bacon chips.

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It turns out that Theodore is a volunteer and therefore cannot be held to a noncompete.

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Makes sense. So Theodore can visit both parks and make sure all dragons in human parks are well-treated. Minor brings back Ruby and Otto and builds them a preserve.

 

Minor has quite a lot of money by now; he asks Aaron to spend it on useful charity stuff.

 

He idly checks on that summoner in New Guinea.

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The settlement has declined to relocate to someplace where they would have been legally obliged to maintain their heater. They are rebuilding things. The lady who summoned him is taking a break and drinking some water.

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...he drops Cam a note asking if there's a design for a housing compound that definitely won't explode in the next few hundred years even without maintenance.

 

 

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In theory, not if you have to account for pests and weather and earthquakes and stuff but you could still get close. You could copy Eternity Villa, it's an experimental project in that vein.

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Tempted to go offer to build them it, do you think that's a good idea?

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Well, the advantage of it being an ungoverned area is that you can't get in trouble for being unescorted.

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Off he goes.

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She recognizes him. She blinks.

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" - hi. Wanted to offer to build you the place, if you wanted. Something that's supposed to last a really really long time."

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"Uh. Hi. How customized can you get with the thing -?"

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"Very? I can go off blueprints if you have those or I can copy some other place somewhere or scale it up or down or whatever, anything more complicated than that I should probably do the plans and send them to someone who's been a demon longer than me to check they're safe and everything but I can be super specific if the thing is specified."

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"Gloria needs some accomodations...." She explains what kinds of buildings they all want.

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He sits down and pulls out a modelling program and starts trying to make that work with nice safe long-lasting buildings.

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The program is very helpful.

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Still takes a while. He is being very meticulous. 

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"Sorry about the gag," she says.

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" - it's not your fault. They shouldn't print emergency kits that way but I'm working on that. I can get you an emergency kit with better circles but I can understand if you wouldn't want to trust me on that."

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Shrug. "Why not?"

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Buildings! Emergency kits with good bindings but no gags. "Do try not to have emergencies, though."

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"Do my best."

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"Demons aren't worse than humans but that's, uh, a qualified endorsement."

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"Yeah, humans suck."

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Giggle. "I noticed. Is that why you live out here?"

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"Pretty much."

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"I'm sorry I scared you."

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"Not your fault."

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"I thought you were very brave. Do you want anything else while I'm here?"

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"Could use a topoff on the supplies."

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"Where -"

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She shows him where they keep stuff.

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Now they have more stuff. "Oh - you should probably know - people who've summoned daeva become daeva when they die."

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"Huh. The same kind, or -?"

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"Nah, we think it goes off - personality, or suitedness to the magic, something like that."

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"Huh."

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"Not public because no one lets us talk, but it'll probably get out sooner or later."

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"Angels and fairies talk."

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"And would've had a harder time verifying that was what was going on, because demons figured it out by forensic conjuring, and distributing the news once they figured it out, because everyone can't make themselves the news. Some of them know. Heard of a fairy who tried to tell summoners and got accused of suicide-baiting -"

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"...yeah, guess it'd kinda sound like that, if I heard it set up the wrong way."

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"Little bit. I think some of the daeva accused of murder on Ganymede say 'but she's fine, she went to Heaven' but that doesn't get taken very seriously either."

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Snort. "Bet not."

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"And 'but she's fine, she went to Hell' goes over even worse. I've been trying to explain to people that demons can't even take souls and some people decided I was just saying that as part of a very clever long-term scheme to convince people not to be sufficiently wary so demons could take more souls."

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"If this conversation ends in you asking for my soul I'm gonna be real annoyed."

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"Not to make too fine a point of it or anything but if I wanted it -"

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"Yeah, exactly, pointless extra rigmarole, you coulda had it."

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"...and that's why you'd be annoyed? Because of the rigmarole? Demons can't take souls. I'm here because I wanted you all to have a nice house away from stupid governments that doesn't explode at all."

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"It's nice of you."

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Shrug. "Take care."

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"Thanks."

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He flies off.

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Most of the wizards are hanging out in Milliways racing rocks around mazes on the table.

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He's lost the magic a couple times over the last couple months but he has it now; he sits down with them.

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Karen's hunk of onyx is doing pretty well, till she notices Minor and it makes a wrong turn.

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"Hey!" he says when the game ends. "Sorry, didn't mean to startle you."

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"It's okay."

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"What've you been up to?"

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"Uh, more of the future-year wizarding world books research, seeing which of the things work."

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"Cool. Is everything okay?"

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"Mmhm."

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"Okay!" And he participates in another few maze races and then goes to find Timothy.

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He's reading through trial transcripts for all the other daeva on Ganymede, just in case.

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"Hey! I have a question."

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"Well, I'm not omniscient yet but I'm working on it."

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"Don't, you'd freak Cam out. Karen's upset and I don't know why."

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" - I think she likes Miranda."

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"- I mean, okay, it's the twenty- it's some weird juxtaposition of centuries all of which are more liberal-minded than ours -"

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"Not the soul Elves, poor soul Elves. But anyway I don't think Miranda's bi. So she's just - sad, which you can be sensitive of."

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"Yeah.

 

Uh, how?"

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"Maybe pick someone else to babble to excitedly about Miranda? There's probably a gay or bi girl Bell out there in the multiverse somewhere - hey, landlords, that'd be a great person to meet - extra bonus points if their world has a problem we could solve -"

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"Does that work?"

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"It's how we got Bella. I've been trying sporadically since, it seems potentially high-value even if it only works occasionally."

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"Hey landlords, I think lots of exciting romantic drama will result if you throw us a world in imminent danger of some kind of catastrophe?"

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"Think romantic drama is the thing the landlords optimise for?"

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"I mean, they all but set up you and Cam."

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"Who set us up?"

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"The landlords."

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"...I don't think 'arranging that we be in the same room' constitutes a setup."

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"That Timothy would fall hard for a boy Miranda would've been extremely predictable to anyone who knew -"

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"- something that I hadn't told anybody."

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"True. Well. My theory predicts we'll get a girl Bell for Karen. So this is testable."

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"I mean, giving Karen a present is not the only way the landlords could produce drama."

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"- this is true."

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"A lesbian Bell who is happily married. A lesbian Bell who thinks Karen is way too young for her. A bisexual Bell who needs a husband for political reasons of some kind. So many possibilities."

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"I wonder why Bells come in so many varieties when I think all the mes are straight and -"

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"And all the mes are gay and all the Theodores are bi and - we just match more, same with the faces -"

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"I dunno. I don't feel like we inherently had to vary a lot, if we'd all looked like me and all been bi I wouldn't have felt like we were missing some..."

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"And we do come as girls, supposedly - or the Elves do -"

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"I'm curious about those, if we wind up having to make an arbitrary choice between several Ardas to visit and one of them is a genderswap I vote we go there."

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"Works for me. I mean, we can go bug an arbitrary space Arda at any time -"

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"True. Any of 'em coming up on a good intervention point or should we just go barge in on one where you're princessing it up in a cozy Valinor?"

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"Lemme check -" he pulls it up on his computer. "Next one's in 1394, right now..."

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"Leaves some margin to sanify the Valar in, are there Valar free to do that?"

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"Think the exponentiating is going pretty well, so yeah."

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"Okay. Uh, I will put out a message in case anyone wants to tell us not to go do that for some reason." Message.

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No one can think of a very strong reason not to do that. Maitimos from similar Ardas think it would be hilarious if they declined to explain anything at all to their alt and made her try to figure it all out. 

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From how little information would they like her to have to do this, like, do they have to call the Maitimos all Jeff or what.

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They take bets on how much she can derive if the existence of other worlds is in fact not explained at all.

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...okay, but like, do they even go say hi, or just turn sane Valar loose for exponentiation and let her derive from there -?

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Unwitnessed trolling would be no fun so they should definitely go say hi.

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If they think she will also think this is hilarious the Bells have no objection.

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They are sure that she will. Not, obviously, if people die in the interim or something but given that they're keeping everywhere paused and given that genderswapping doesn't change peoples' personalities? Definitely.

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Then they can go for it. Cam forks their volunteer.

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Volunteer lets them through into a less shiny, lower-tech, still of course exceptionally pretty Arda. "Do you - need to meet anybody, or -"

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"We'd like an introduction to Princess Nelyafinwë, actually, if you can do that."

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" - yes, definitely, but it's most of a day's travel from here."

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"Oh, where are we?"

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"Just outside Tirion?"

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"That's most of a day's travel?"

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" - less if you can ride?"

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"I can fly," Cam points out. He has wings.

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"I can't fly you to an appointment with Princess Nelyafinwë, though."

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"Yeah, for that part we'll need this." Shuttle.

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Blink blink blink. "How does it go?"

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"How much physics have you got?" he asks, hopping in.

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" - everything is made of particles, we don't know what rules they follow individually but in aggregate they behave sensibly?"

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"...yeah I don't know how to start from there. There's magnets and weird tricks with inertia and stuff. Do you even have cars here yet?"

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"Oh, Fëanáre has one, careens around nearly killing people in it, but it's hard to hold it against her, she looks so gleeful. I don't personally, we haven't found a way to efficiently mass-produce pretty ones."

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"Have you invented the assembly line or is it bad at pretty?"

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"We have it, for parts. It's not good enough for whole products - you still need to get the car glasswork done and the paint and engraving..."

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"I see. I'm sure you'll sort it out." A short flight to the palace.

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Their guide leads them in. "She can see you now."

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Wag. "Great!"

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And someone comes briskly down the hall, greets their guide warmly. " - hello. Princess Nelyafinwë but please call me Maitimë. I like the wings."

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"Me too. Timothy."

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"Cam. Nice to meet you."

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"Likewise!! What can I do for you?"

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"We're tourists! Also it came to our attention that the Valar were going to parole Melkor and they should not do that and we came here to make sure they were advised."

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"I don't think they're planning - well, they originally sentenced him to three thousand years and I suppose those are mostly up - where did you hear about -"

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"Cam has a magical power for being extremely well-informed." His Quenya is still not very good; she blinks rapidly. 

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"I do! I'm a huge information security hazard, watch out."

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"Our only state secrets are that we've been trying to come up with traffic laws but we can't construct any that my mother isn't in flagrant continual violation of and so haven't come up with any at all, and that we turn up people who need gender preference correction at thrice the rate of the Vanyar and are worried it's something in the water. There, now I needn't worry whether you've discovered my dark secrets. Want to come in and sit down? - actually I am unsure if my chairs are equipped to be comfortable for you."

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"I can make a chair if they're too uncomfy but these actually fold up real small. I know all your dark secrets but don't worry I'm very nonjudgmental. I would love to tell you what's in the Vanyar's water but I don't actually know that one."

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"There's an idea, I don't think anyone's tried checking their water." She ushers them into a pretty wood-paneled office. There are chairs. "How long have you been here?"

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"Oh, we just arrived."

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"Flew in from just outside the city with Sanweryo's new fork."

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"He doing okay? I didn't realize he was new or I'd have made sure he's situated first -" her eyes flicker -

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"We have reason to expect he'll settle in quite happily."

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"He was impressed with our flying thing but didn't have enough physics to understand it. I'd rather put off explaining it to your mom till later, before you ask, she'd want more than the overview. I don't mind if she takes it apart though."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Oh, so you're only being mysterious about the sources, not the technology? She will be delighted. How long are you here -"

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"Exact duration undecided, we may come and go."

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"Do you need a place to stay?"

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"I usually don't sleep but Timothy does so that'd be convenient if we wind up being here when he gets around to it."

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"I can arrange rooms for each of you. You don't register as having chips, is that right -"

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"Yeah, that's right, I tried installing one but it didn't work."

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"If people are being mysteriously forked I do not recommend you make yourself susceptible. The chips are how we do money, if it's just the two of you I can just announce you're on my account or give you handhelds but if there is to be a plague of taciturn tourists I'll need a better solution -"

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"We're not especially expecting others."

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"Also I can make arbitrary material objects."

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"That's convenient. How neatly need they be specified -"

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"Oh, like title and author for a book."

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"But 'the mysterious substance in somebody's water' wouldn't do it? Are there things we ought to have and should be asking you to make us?"

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"Lightleapers! They get to Endorë in five days!"

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"....ooooooh. And are maintainable on our infrastructure base?"

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"No, not at all, I forgot about that because I just sort of make one whenever I go anywhere then offer it to passersby, sorry."

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"It's okay. I'm sure we'll have fun disassembling them anyway. Am I supposed to be taking notes for your later enjoyment or thinking out loud, here?"

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"Both sound fun!"

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"You speak Quenya like a native - slight accent which I'm guessing my mother'll pop in and tell me is consistent with so many Years of future linguistic drift but she can't guess that off my best osanwë description so it'll have to wait for her driving to endanger significant numbers of passersby and then her sudden presence in the palace to offend and confuse a few dozen people. Don't save her the time, she'll have fun telling me. Anyway, you aren't an Elf and I don't think would even tolerate us especially long - maybe your species is very quick to learn languages? But less the wings you seem like the same thing as Timothy and he barely has any Quenya. More likely, then, it's one of the magic powers that accompany the wings and tail."

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"He could get wings the exact same way I did, he just hasn't asked me."

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"The magic powers suite that accompanies the wings and tail is making arbitrary things and being uncannily well-informed - that part is obviously time travel, but some form such that 'back and forth' makes sense. Also you're not nearly upset enough for having destroyed a doomed timeline and leapt far enough back to change it. Either you do this routinely or it imposes no tragic costs somehow - or both? I can't figure out if you're testing me or just making my life more interesting - okay now I can, off your expression, you're just making my life more interesting."

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"Are we succeeding?"

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"Marvelously. You may regard me as fascinated. Unless there's actually anything at stake in which case please just give me the information I need to help my people."

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"Things at stake are being handled in parallel."

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" - you know me. Me from the future, or - or something? You're more legible than Timothy, incidentally, that's why I'm looking at you, about the only legible thing about Timothy is that he thinks you're great which is - I need more things to make useful inferences from that -"

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"You should make the inference that I'm great, obviously." Wag.

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"How good Timothy's judgment is is one of the things I need. Another one is whether you'd have a - friend - whose primary quality is thinking you are great, compared to how likely it is that Timothy has substantive traits beyond thinking you're great that he's concealing near-perfectly. And why he's doing that and not you, if you are the one who spent enough time around future Elves to be fluent in Quenya - Mother!"

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"Nelyafinwë! The car's dented; people kept running into it."

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"I find it astonishing how often they do that. Cam, Timothy, my mother, Curufinwë - mother, Cam and Timothy are our new guests -"

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"I've never understood why you do introductions symmetrically, dear, it's twice as much talking to convey the same information."

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"Plus we already knew your name. Hi! You may take apart the flying thing I left outside. It won't even explode if you do that. Where I'm from it's customary to put blinking lights on cars to indicate where their drivers mean to go."

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"Might be ugly. Depends on the implementation. 1490 to - 1520?ish?"

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"Does it affect your estimate that I learned the language from a twenty-year-old child?"

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"What, exclusively? It's still in that range, darling, I could maybe narrow it -"

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"That's fairly informative all by itself." She kisses her mother's hand. "You can go disassemble the thing -"

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"Already did. And I haven't heard the other one talk."

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"I think my Quenya is not sufficiently pretty."

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"I think my Quenya is not sufficiently pretty," she repeats slowly and clearly for his benefit. "How about your first language, what's it sound like -"

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"I was having quite a time imagining my father as a woman but now it fits perfectly," he says in English.

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"It didn't seem like a stretch to me!" Cam replies also in English, then, to Fëanárë, "We actually have the same native language but different dialects."

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"Say more," she says, enchanted.

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"Cam what, like, Earth tech level is this, plus or minus probably worse weapons and more prettiness -"

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"Nineteennotverymuch?"

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"Huh. I think I forget how long a thousand years is - the chips seem weirder in a setting without computers -"

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"I know, right, and the blessings, I somehow never asked if they've been programming them themselves all along or if they got Maiar to do it or what?"

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"You could ask now, I don't think I have the vocabulary."

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"Yeah, sure." To Elves: "Do you guys program your own blessings already? I mean you collectively."

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" - yes? What do you mean 'already' -"

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"Means they're dispensing with the pretense they're not time travellers."

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"Someone could be pulling some kind of prank on us -"

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"Someone is! And the someone is time travellers."

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"I mean, I never said, 'hi, I'm Cam, I'm not a time traveler'."

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"See, there are certain conversational defaults such that if you don't announce you're ignoring them people'll feel deceived when they figure that out. I think 'the certainty with which I make claims is not derived from literal knowledge of the future because I lived there' is one of them."

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"Do you feel deceived?"

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"I continue to be far too busy feeling intrigued."

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"Good."

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"I think you're right," she says to Timothy.

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"That he's great? I know I am."

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" - that language is an absolute mess," Fëanáre says distractedly. "Fascinating, of course, but - do you have anyone making sure that new words fit in nicely, at all -"

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"We do not! This language corners other languages and rifles through their pockets and runs away cackling! One time this one playwright invented seventeen hundred new words and nobody stopped him! We are not sure how many words it has exactly but possibly more than a million!"

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"Teach me!"

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"What, right now?"

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"Is anything on fire? No, scratch that, is anything on fire in some way that requires our individual attention right now, and can't be fixed later?"

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Cam produces a decorative candle and looks at it thoughtfully.

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"I will teach you fifty words and give you a book written with only those, how about." And he goes through the vocabulary list for Green Eggs And Ham and then hands her a book.

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She perches herself on Maitimë's desk to read it. "I think this book encourages antisocial behavior," she says after a little while, frowning.

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"Oh no! Antisocial behavior!"

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"You're the most exciting thing since Oromë found the Elves, please don't get booted back into the future for being - ahead of our time."

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"Not gonna happen. I just find Elves precious; that book is intended for toddlers. Timothy finds my home society precious! Well, he did, I think he's got acclimated."

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"And some. Inconsistently-applied high-mindedness turns out to be even more annoying than casual horribleness - not more bad, but more annoying."

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Cam pats his shoulder. "There there, your brother will fix it with the power of vlogging."

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"Do translate."

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Cam does.

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" - if anything that left me with thrice as many questions - Maitimë, can we keep him -"

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"How are you proposing to do that?"

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"That's your skillset."

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"And trust me, I am applying it. I don't think we can keep him but I bet you can get all your questions answered."

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"But where would you keep me? Hm, I could perch on a wall like a - hm, you probably don't have gargoyles, they're really not Elf aesthetic at all."

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"Couldn't say. Do you prefer perching on walls to, like, attending concerts and so on, that changes the proposed itinerary."

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"No, gargoyles just often are designed with bat wings, I don't really wish to otherwise imitate one."

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"Can you fly with the wings?"

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"Of course! What kind of cut rate wings wouldn't let me fly!"

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"I confess no expertise at all in wings. Why doesn't everyone have them, if it's that easy?"

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"Wings work on humans but humans find flying very tiring in a way I can't find things tiring unless I feel like it that day, and they also have to go with different designs because they're not indestructible and they could tear. These are thinner than bat wings." Flap.

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"I'd like wings, please."

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"They have not been tested on Elves and you have weird biology, I'd want a consult on that. In the meantime enjoy this catalogue of designs." Toss.

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"What's the worst thing that can happen if it doesn't work, I die?" She starts scanning it and asking vocabulary words.

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"Worse, I'd feel bad about myself and dishonor my teachers of medicine!"

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"Timothy's a human? You're a human? Are the beings depicted in Green Eggs and Ham human?"

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"Timothy is a human. I used to be a human; now I'm a demon. The beings depicted in Green Eggs and Ham are fictitious cartoon sapients without species names as far as I know invented by Dr. Seuss. Who was not a real doctor; that's a pen name."

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"How does one become a demon -"

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"Elves can't. I think you don't die dead enough."

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"That's inconvenient. Even if the backups were destroyed?"

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"Mother!"

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"Hypothetically."

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"Hasn't been tried, might work. You also don't get to pick if you're a demon or one of two other things."

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"Don't I. What're the other things, who does get to pick -"

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"Angels and fairies, and as far as we know it's not a person sorting dead people."

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"If it's a process there's probably a way to cheat it."

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"My theory is that it's about personality suitability to the magic powers and I do think you'd be a demon if I'm right."

Permalink Mark Unread

"If you destroy all the backups and then kill yourself to test that I will be so terribly annoyed."

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"Well, not while the girls are still so little."

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"We don't even need demons for anything! We're going to have a way to get to Endorë fast in a hundred Years anyway and what else even is there -"

Permalink Mark Unread

"It's just the principle of the thing. And you said they might have language-learning magic powers."

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"We do, but you still learn them the normal way really fast, it took me years to pick up a second language via actually learning it."

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"I don't want magic language-learning powers because learning languages takes too long, I want them because magic. language-learning. powers."

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"You make a compelling argument but I think you should like, sleep on it or something."

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"I did say I'd wait until the girls were all grown up. Maitimë's our oldest."

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"They know, mother, they're time-travellers."

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"We did know that, yes."

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"We had twins just because I was curious what happened if you tried to have two babies at once!"

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"Twins happen. They happen to humans all the time. Somebody pulled off octuplets once."

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"...oooooh. I don't think my husband wants eight more. Maitimë -"

Permalink Mark Unread

"I'm sure I can eventually find a husband who wants eight at once but you do not get to complain about how long it is taking and you have to convince your mother that I don't need to be married to become Queen."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I should mention that this is in fact a terrible idea, it's probably less of a terrible idea for Elves but the human octuplets set a record when they survived their infancy."

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Elves look appropriately horrified. 

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"Where I'm from three usually don't make it."

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"Risky for the moms too. I mean, this is because humans are a terrible species design and Elves are an improvement in almost every way, but you're still on a similar body plan and probably shouldn't try octuplets."

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"Honestly I was contemplating waiting on children until we'd improved on childbirth."

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"Can't blame you, wretched system."

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"Say all of the people who wouldn't know. You'll like it fine."

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"The husband persists in not manifesting. - don't ask the time-travellers, that's not how I want to find out."

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Snort.

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"As you like." More English, instead!

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Sure, English. Cam can read her a poem while she reads along in horror.

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More like cackling with glee!! "Humans must lead very thrilling lives."

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"I'm not sure 'English' is a leading cause of human thrill, but sure."

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"I was more thinking of how fast it reinvents itself - every fifty Years you'd be effectively speaking a different language -"

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"Faster than that!"

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"You are from a species of lunatics." She sounds very approving.

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"I mean, they do also live only about ten Years often less without magical intervention, so that accelerates things."

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" - should have led with that - are you okay -"

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"I'm fine, I got murdered anyway and my natural lifespan didn't enter into it and we've got mass production on the turning into a magic thing underway."

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"Can we help any -"

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"You might think of something when you're caught up, who knows."

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Nod. "Do you actually have time travel good enough to fix - people who've already died -"

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"I expect your grandfather back within the Year but it's possible I'm mistaken."

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She hugs her mother.

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Yup.

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" - okay," she says a moment later, "I found some rooms and I can arrange you concert tickets and a tour and so on, are there any people you particularly want to meet..."

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"Anybody you wanna meet, Timothy?"

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"Your whole family, actually."

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Blink blink. "Can do."

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"One of our friends may come by later who'd want to meet Rúmil but she's not a priority for us today."

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"I am sure my mother would be delighted to give you a ride back to her home, if that's convenient. Mother, will you see to it they have a way to get back to the palace eventually, I have apartments for them here -"

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"They can make another shuttle, right?"

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"Sure." She rummages in her desk, pulls out two pretty bracelet-things. "These'll pretend to be chips for you. They have money, they'll let you into your rooms...Timothy, you're in the left wing, third floor, Cam I know you said you didn't need to sleep but I got you a room anyway, right wing, second floor."

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"So far apart! We're not telepathic, what if we wanted to talk amongst ourselves and didn't have other technological solutions for that." He puts on a bracelet.

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"I do apologize! Given more advance notice I could wrangle closer ones. I take it you do have other technological solutions for that?"

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"Yeah, we have computers. Mine's fancier, it requires brain surgery." He waves it around a bit; he has been using it to look up poems and such all along.

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"How do those work -"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Uh, do you want me to explain the computation, the projector, the underlying knowledge base I've been searching, the messaging protocol between the computers, the brain interface, or something else - I know the answer is 'all of them' where do you want me to start."

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" - computation, then the underlying knowledge base -"

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"Okay! Comp sci 101!" And he starts with logic gates and goes from there as they head to her house.

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She's a terrible driver; some of this might be attributable to the fascinating conversation. They get to the house. "Girls! Time-travellers!"

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"That's a new one." She is balancing two tiny babies on the back of her giant dog. "Hi, time-travellers!"

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"When did they time-travel from?"

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"Elsewhen," says Cam. He carefully does not look at the giant dog. He had forgotten there was going to be a giant dog.

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The toddlers on the giant dog steer her towards the time-travellers; she doesn't take much steering. She bounds over and eagerly sniffs them.

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"She doesn't bite," she says to Cam. "The babies do, though."

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"Do not," the baby in front objects, and topples; Huan gracefully flops sideways to catch her.

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"I wouldn't dream of accusing any of them."

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"Do too!" cries the second toddler, and clambers off Huan to try to touch Cam's wings.

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And is grabbed. "Hey hey hey, those look delicate -"

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"They're not, they can touch them."

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She releases the babies. The babies touch the wings. The babies are delighted about the wings and say so with high-pitched sounds that mostly only their siblings can interpret. Tyelcormë combs Huan's hair back flat. "Hi!"

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"Hi."

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"What're the wings made out of?"

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"Bones and skin and blood vessels, nothing too weird."

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"Do you have to overhaul your entire circulatory system to actually fly with them -"

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"No, they patched in all right."

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"Guess what," Fëanáre says to her gleefully. "Computers!!!" And then a very fast-paced explanation of what those are.

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They can each have one if they'd like after the brain surgery is explained. Tyelcormë's can have her alphabet as default.

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" - that'd be great. We don't need to have specific things to take care of them?"

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"I can probably figure out how to convert your household electricity into something that can charge them."

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"Oooooh," Fëanáre and Curufinwë say simultaneously. Huan snorts.

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"And you may look over my shoulder while I do it. Timothy, are you bored?"

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"Not in the slightest."

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"Good." And he measures the household current and comes up with a transformer and splices it in, narrating as he goes.

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And more people wander in.

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"Time travellers, is that so. Fëanáre -"

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"Maitimë believed it and it fits the languages. Someone had eight children at once, did you know that?"

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He kisses her. "Absolutely not."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Technically I just asked if you knew that -"

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"Mmmmhmm." One of the children is trying to climb up his leg; he scoops her. The other one wants to touch Cam's wiring project; he scoops her too.

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"It's insulated."

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"She bites."

"Do not!" objects the girl.

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"I can insulate it more."

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"If nothing else it would enhance my peace of mind."

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Cam insulates it more.

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Then the small children can run around freely! They do so with such enthusiasm that it seems like there are more than two of them. 

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Aww.

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It is a very enthusiastic talkative family that sits down to question the time travellers over dinner. For some reason no one except Maitimë objects to knowing who they'll marry.

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Whatever reason might that be. Cam provides answers where they exist, "but of course then I showed up so perhaps I've thrown it all off, who knows."

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"Perhaps you've thrown us all off, too. Why did you pick now to arrive?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"The Valar were going to parole Melkor soonish and now instead they're gonna not do that, which is an enormous improvement."

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" - that'd do it. Huh. Do we have to just imprison him forever, then, that's -" Shiver.

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"I think if time travellers say 'don't parole the evil god' you don't parole the evil god."

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"Hopefully the Valar see it that way."

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"They will. He can be more pleasantly imprisoned, that's harmless."

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"- how can you already know that -"

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"...what about that is more implausible than the rest of the time traveler thing?"

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"I was going with a model of the time travel thing where - Melkor did something awful so then you came back to warn us not to parole him. But that wouldn't allow you to have information about what happens if they are warned by time travellers not to parole him."

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"Well, for the time being this is left as an exercise to the reader."

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"I think our future selves are having a laugh."

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"Aww, darling, would they do that to us?"

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"Yes," all the children say in unison. 

After dinner one of the babies decides to topple a plate of pudding on her sister and then both of them start screeching and then Macalaurië starts singing and they fall immediately quiet. She sings until they are sleeping in puddles of pudding on the rug; Huan licks them.

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Always a treat.

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"We inconvenient humans sleep every day."

Permalink Mark Unread

"That does sound inconvenient. Have you tried being a demon -"

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"Haven't had an occasion yet."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Also I think he'd be a fairy and it would interfere with his current magical powers until he learned cellular biology and even that's an incomplete fix."

Permalink Mark Unread

"You didn't mention having a current set of magical powers!"

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"It somehow didn't come up."

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"I have them too! The cellular biology method of acquiring them is not available for Elves yet either though, sorry."

Permalink Mark Unread

"What's missing, technical expertise? On what exactly?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Genetics. The magic powers naturally appear among humans with a certain gene. Elves do not have human genes so it can't be naively inserted."

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"Huh." And she has several hours of questions about that. Timothy is nodding off on Cam's shoulder.

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"Timothy should probably be stashed in the room in the palace that was offered but then I can come back if you like."

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"I would like."

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Cam shuttles Timothy back and kisses him goodnight when nobody's looking and tucks him in and then goes back to swig coffee and chat with Fëanárë.

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Who appears to be deliriously happy.

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Marvelous.

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The next day a tour of the city can be arranged if they're interested, and some people are really excited about lightleapers and want to know what they need to maintain one.

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He can dig up documentation for them, carefully snip out the names, and hand it over. Tour of the city sounds fun.

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It is of course a charming city, on the verge of the transition from horsedrawn carriages to electric-powered ones. It has trolleys. They're very pretty trolleys. It has tall buildings but no elevators yet, which rather constrains how tall; one street has electric streetlamps and everyone's very excited about that.

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Awwwww.

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"It's lovely. Was there anything else you wanted to see -"

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"Nothing specific."

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"They're so happy. It's cute."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Yup. And they get to stay that way!"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Not looking forward to meeting worlds after -"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Well, yeah. But this one can just go on being happy."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Yeah. Happy and marginally more liberal, and maybe they'll think of a solution to getting more places that way."

Permalink Mark Unread

"You know what we'll eventually need to know, we'll need to know if otherwise live circles for people currently on summonses sync time. That'll allow us to scale up past the population of summons-refusing daeva."

Permalink Mark Unread

"We could go set that up now, yeah, that'd be useful."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Think Maitimë's caught on yet?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"To alts? Don't think so - it's a leap, without any reason to think of it...and they have a close-enough hypothesis to squeeze things into, but maybe..."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I will be a little disappointed if she figures it out and we aren't there to have faces made at us!"

Permalink Mark Unread

"We could go back and tell her we're going to sleep somewhere we don't need a palace in between us for propriety and drop hints until she pieces it together."

Permalink Mark Unread

"That sounds fun, do you have enough Quenya to do the honors?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Not with any grace but I could probably successfully get the information across." Palace-wards.

Permalink Mark Unread

"I could help you translate but I think my delivery would lack the correct delicate balance of hinting."

Permalink Mark Unread

"You did pretty well the other day."

There are voices and laughter coming from Maitimë's office.

Permalink Mark Unread

"I'm hoping it's not that you fork worlds by travelling back to them, I think they'd take that a little more seriously or at least anticipate I wouldn't find it very funny. Could be that something else forks the worlds and they just go visiting them, and I guess if there are enough of my mother on the 'what forks the worlds' question then there's no particular reason to enlist the new one a week sooner if they can entertain themselves again. But I'm guessing, I hate guessing. Usually I know. Do you think Timothy looks like me if I were a male human -"

Permalink Mark Unread

"You've asked that three times and I still haven't met him."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I could go follow them around to get more data but that seems rude."

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Patpat.

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"So the real aim here is obviously to do the best of all sets of us at figuring out what is going on. I don't think they had solid expectations about how long it'd take us, Cam looked genuinely impressed with me last night, so either they haven't been doing it for very long or me-now is better at this than me at various other intervention points but I can't think why I would be. What I really don't want is to be the same as most possible mes they do this to, but -"

Permalink Mark Unread

"But you also want to be the one that gets it right and introducing noise for the sake of being different ruins that? That's very selfish, princess, you should be thinking of the good of Maitimes in your position as a collective -"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Because if I do, all the other ones will! Or something like that, this is very confusing, I tried to consult my mother but she finds it less interesting than the languages and physics."

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Knock knock?

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Door. "Hello! Findekáne, these are Cam and Timothy."

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"Hi! I hear you are giving my cousin a headache."

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"Is it not fun anymore? Should we stop?"

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"No no that's no good at all then I lose. Finne, fourth time -"

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Yeah, maybe? You're prettier.

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I think humans have something wrong with them. 

"Did you like your tour of the city?"

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"It was lovely, I'm a sucker for Elf architecture."

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"I'm really pleased with it! Maybe we can keep some worlds at this apparent tech level for tourism reasons, unless there are major conveniences incompatible with this size of building."

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"Population density and really tall slides."

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"I see the merits of the first one -"

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"Slides are not practical but they're fun."

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"Well, we can travel for them."

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"I exaggerate their importance to tourism. You can be all quaint if you like."

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"At least for the time being. People won't want to suddenly change everything- we get a lot of complaints that change is moving too fast as it is -"

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"Elves."

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"Do humans and demons go faster?"

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"Lots. I mean, the lifespan thing would otherwise be an even worse problem."

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"It sounds like a pretty awful problem as it stands. So - there are other worlds like mine but different times, we got that. There're also other worlds that aren't like this one at all? Just humans and demons and so on?"

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"Yup."

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"- and Timothy's -"

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Still being unreadable.

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Which is sort of a tip-off in itself.

" - me?"

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"That's faster than I noticed Cam and Miranda but they did not look alike."

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"We don't look very alike, you've got -" helpless gesture at her chin -

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"Facial hair! Yes, humans do that. Some shave it but I don't like looking exactly like the Elves."

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"I also come as a boy Elf? That's - weirder."

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"You didn't notice me and Miranda, Afternoon did. With very little to go on from her end. And you're usually boys, this is one of the four percent of gender-swapped Ardas."

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" - that's really weird. My parents really really wouldn't have had a son first unless a lot of other things were different."

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"Oh, they're genderswapped too, everyone you know is genderswapped. Even the Valar."

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"And Eru, to whatever extent that's a meaningful question, but the pronouns are different anyway. We're here because I randomly felt like visiting a genderswapped one and this one was coming up on an intervention point."

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"Are we satisfyingly gender-swapped? Coming up on - how many are there -"

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"More than four hundred million. Limiting pacing factor is sane Valar to go teach other Valar to be sane, we're early in the exponentiation process. Plus we can only visit the kind of Arda where Elves have chips; most of them are higher magic, lower tech, and we can't fork our way into those."

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"Okay at this point I think we would like the standard introduction to capabilities and projects and so on, is that available."

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"Sure." Here it is. "You will need to pick a time of day or introduce a new nickname theme."

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"Are there times of day free?" She sits back so Findekáne can read over her shoulder.

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"Dawn? Twilight? Lunchtime? Maybe you have fancy words for various relative angles of binary suns that I never learned?"

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They do! High-gold is separate from high-silver is separate from noon and so on; she'll take low-silver. "Does everyone else not have binary suns?"

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"The low tech ones have two trees! Earth has just one sun."

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"Trees."

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"Shiny trees and no night."

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"That, uh, doesn't sound like it'd work."

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"Oh it's real dumb. And the planet is flat."

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"I mean - maybe if the Valar were even dumber they'd be too dumb to be harmful?"

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"Nope they're actually more powerful over shorter ranges and temperamentally alike just worse at physics. Also flat Aulës get to give Dwarves an afterlife which yours don't have by default."

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"Can he give ours one?"

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"I don't think so but Dwarves can do the turning into demons et al thing."

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"Huh. And someone's telling them?"

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"Local Aulë is probably already in a lightleaper."

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They glance at each other and smile. They go back to reading.

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Cam puts a wing over Timothy.

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Yep they are apparently not taking that as permission to lean any closer than necessary for reading. 

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Oh well.

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It's good reading. When done they look at each other again and then dissolve into giggles. 

 

" - our alts shouldn't visit. At least not with friends - Timothy's okay because it won't occur to most people he's me but once they see the male Elf ones it will -"

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Snort. "Ah-huh."

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"My responsibility is to these people and I'm not going to push them along faster than they're ready for."

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That's not really it, you just hate the thought of people hating you -

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- you don't mind -

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I am super enthusiastic about continuing to be on speaking terms with my family! Just want to keep straight what we're doing and why -

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"We have forever."

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"Y'know I have an Elf alt and I was hoping she'd be able to explain this to me but in her it just manifests as frontloading effort for long-term projects, not this weird blaséness about the interim."

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"You don't experience - thinking it's more important something be done right than done quickly, given that the consequences will be around forever?"

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"I do, but - 'without unnecessary delay' is part of 'right'."

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"If you're trying to avoid looking like you're rushing to impose new laws for your convenience, doing it right means delaying as much as needed to avoid that impression."

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"I am not in a position to impose laws. Anyway, your Valar will be sane any minute now, you can look like you're reacting to that or something."

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"I'll try to get a feel for it."

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"Have fun with that."

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"We should probably have someone in Milliways so we can get a door at will, let me find a good person for that."

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"It's a nice place for a vacation - well, I think the Elves find the default decorativeness of the rooms lackluster and some of them moved into the backyard rather than ask me for wallpaper, but the food's great and the internal asynchronicity is usually convenient and you can't beat the library."

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"I am not expecting to have trouble finding takers."

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Wag.

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"Anyway, thanks for coming. Did you get to see everything you wanted to -"

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"Yes. Since the whim prompting the visit was mostly 'I wonder what all these people look like as the opposite sex'."

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"I expect we're prettier as girls but I might be biased."

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Timothy makes a face. Findekáne laughs.

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"I mean, Elves in general all look sort of uncannily airbrushed in a way that I am inclined to parse as feminine, so that sits better on you to my mind, but objectively I don't think there's much case to be made for that."

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"I could be accused of not being objective."

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"I would be really entertained to hear you debate it with your alts."

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"I will sneak into Milliways and they can have a go at persuading me men are attractive."

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Snort.

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"I bet they're very convincing. Being mes."

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"I have been convinced of things by yous a time or two."

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"Do tell!"

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"I don't have them indexed under that header or anything!"

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"I'm really glad everything has gotten mostly sorted out."

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Nod nod nod nod.

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And someone is selected to go hang out in Milliways and open a door for them at need! It is someone Maitimë suspects might prefer not to wait for the gradual liberalization of society. 

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Milliways is super liberal.

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There's a note from her alts that most everyone in Milliways who isn't an Elf goes around completely nude, beware.

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This is nude as in unbraided, right? Because if anyone were tempted to walk into the bar literally nude that would be a rather nasty practical joke, what with the 'sit for hours in a cell in Security' punishment for most misdemeanors.

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"Oh, no, they mean hair, not clothes? - would Security care that that'd be pretty awful for us -"

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"It's possible Security has an accommodation for that or would just chuck you out the door on a first offense, I haven't actually asked."

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"Anyway, the note's clear."

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"Good." (Cam asks Bar if there is an Elf accommodation. Apparently the cells can at need do a holodeck thing where you can appear to be traveling arbitrary distances. In boring featureless fog, but still.)

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"That'd help. As long as it's hours not days, should be enough."

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"That's my understanding, I think the individual staffers have some discretion."

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"Elves are very law-abiding. I really don't expect it'll come up."

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Nod.

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"Want to meet everyone and learn all the new faces but it can wait a bit."

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"There's some file put together with all the names in, Timothy what's it called -"

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"Everybody (nonchiplocked). We all add people to it."

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Cam adds it to Maitimë's computer.

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Genderswapped Elves will happily return to reading.

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Meanwhile, CineMe deactivates Minor's account for "content in violation of our policy".

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What policy?

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Doesn't say. Takedown notice looks plausibly autogenerated.

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There're other streaming sites, right?

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Yup, he could move to Netcreek or DianNow or set up his own server.

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How hard is setting up his own server?

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It's not really a project designed for wizards from 1802 but he can probably figure it out.

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Or hire someone. He'll do that, so he can't get kicked off again. 

 

He rerecords all the videos in every language he speaks while he's waiting.

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There are emails and circles from people who wish to know what gives.

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They will be told that he got a takedown from CineMe for some reason so he's starting his own server.

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That explains it, what's his pointer?

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They're calling it Circle.me. Now available in English, Japanese, French, Mandarin, Hindi, and Martian Portuguese!

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His audience is smaller at first as not everyone follows the move.

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He tries not to be too grouchy. 

Minor's faster than Hortensia!

Minor visits the Elves!

Minor takes summonses!

Minor tries to learn Lagalann!

Minor goes to the aerial ballet!

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People are curious about Elves, who have been in the news in that "they're interesting but not doing anything much" way.

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"They're great. Don't gag demons, for one thing. Uh, they have faster-than-light travel, I don't know if anyone's asked demons to make lightleapers for you yet but we can do that and then you can go visit them yourselves. They live forever, and can be resurrected, because they have these chips in their brains backing them up. Their cities are really really shiny. They're ridiculously good singers, you can ask demons for Elf music too."

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There is an uptick in asking demons for Elf music and several lightleaping-related projects.

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Cool! He will bother a Maitimo to come make an appearance on his channel. Bright does it, talks about the clinics the Elves are managing in Godspring, supplied by demon adoptive parents.

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Concerns are raised for the welfare of children raised by demons!

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What's the concern, exactly.

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Demons are probably bad parents because they don't understand humans, and may take the children's souls, and will probably spoil them with too much candy or something, and will expect them to be indestructible and the kids will be sad they can't fly.

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Demons: still can't take souls. There've been fairies raising kids on Mars for a long time and none of the other problems have especially arisen.

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Fairies can't materialize candy on short notice! says the person who is worried about spoiled children.

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And buying candy substantially reduces the risk of spoiled children? Honestly Minor is kind of down on the whole 'spoiled children' thing because where he's from people said this to complain about people who spanked their children barehanded instead of with a rod.

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Everyone in the comments is HORRIFIED. His comments section is now Child Abuse Discourse.

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Yeah, Minor's world of origin is a bit behind the times. And he doesn't think that all of its children should be taken away and raised in Revelation.

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But they're being HIT. They have to stop being HIT.

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Well, yeah. Minor's world also has slavery, there are multiple problems here.

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Slavery Discourse!

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What discourse even is there about slavery? It's horrible and Hazel will have to stop it immediately.

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People mostly differ on how abruptly and violently they should be forced to stop it.

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In Godspring they bought everyone out and then went around with demons drugging people who still hadn't released their slaves. There were a couple hundred deaths across the whole world, he thinks, and all but two had an afterlife. He thinks the Elves think they erred on the side of being too slow.

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Good for the Elves.

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This seems like a good occasion to tell the story of how Alatess decided the Elves were going too slow and recruited a former leader of a slave uprising and equipped him and nearly caused a war but got a lot of slaves freed immediately.

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Did she steal their souls?

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...no, she just equipped Clerus and then supplied them while they were hiding out in a cave system. Are people just incapable of believing that demons might object to slavery for the same reasons they do?

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Seems pretty suspect.

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... it is universally understood that sometimes when there's an unsafe binding or a emergency summons demons do not do any horrible things, right? What is the prevailing theory for why that is?

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The demons don't always notice loopholes and sometimes they're scared of the GCP or waiting for a better opportunity.

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"...that's probably a nonzero part of it but a larger part of it is that most demons don't want to murder people for the same reason most humans don't."

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But they have no parents to teach them right from wrong.

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" - do you believe that humans who grow up with abusive or neglectful parents all turn out to be murderers?"

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Well, not all of them, but people are much better now than they were when it was common to hit children. (Child abuse discourse!)

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It seems likely that's because trauma is bad, not because parenting is the only way to acquire morals.

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So much discourse!

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Are they going to treat everyone from Hazel as assumed-to-be-murderers biding their time? 

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They probably don't want them as neighbors even if they don't all go in for murder. They might, like, attack people's housecats.

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- it'd be kind of funny if the civilization that produces people who cannot live in harmony with other species or people from other backgrounds is 2180. Maybe everyone else won't want to live with people from 2180 because they're so closed-minded and xenophobic because of their harmful upbringings.

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Is he saying that people from 1800 did not do horrible things to cats?

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" - look, if you haven't figured it out by now - people are people. Some of them do horrible things to cats and some of them beat their children and it is perfectly reasonable to discriminate against people who do those things, the problem here is announcing that even if someone has never done anything wrong, if they're a member of a society or a species that you've heard a rumor does bad things, then clearly they want to do bad things and are just biding their time, and no amount of not doing bad things could possibly convince you that they don't actually want to. 

By all means don't live next to people who light cats on fire for fun. But if you could not even in principle be persuaded that someone hasn't done that and won't do that, then the bad person is you."

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This statement, predictably, provokes Discourse.

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They eventually conclude that he should warn for animal cruelty mentions.

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He calls an end to the live feed and goes and asks Revelation's Maitimo how he can stand these people.

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"- lighting cats on fire is legitimately a terrible thing to do, you know -"

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"Nobody asked me to warn for literal actual slavery."

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"Harder to imagine. Anyway, I handle it by finding all people extremely fascinating as strategic puzzles, I don't know if that works for you."

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"They're just worthless and dumb."

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" - can you figure out what I'd say and say it, is that an interesting strategic puzzle that doesn't involve engagement with worthless dumb opinions except at enough of a remove?"

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"What would you have said to that -"

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"That that was a good point, and you were also going to warn for slavery, because you wouldn't want to give the impression that animal cruelty is the only terrible thing discussed on your thread, and you also want to warn for engaging with lots of xenophobia and racism, since people will find those upsetting too..."

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"I kind of miss not being able to light people on fire, because then I could say 'go die in a fire' without it coming across as a threat."

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"Thank you for not saying that."

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"Sure. You could just impersonate me with Polyjuice and do the videos."

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"I run a country, kiddo."

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"They don't take very long."

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"I think you're doing great."

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He announces a new content warnings policy.

 

 

He lights things but not people on fire.

 

He goes and takes more summonses.

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A couple of well meaning people have drawn him up to ask if he is safe at home.

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"I'm indestructible. If I go back to school, which I might not, and get caught cheating on my homework again, which I won't, and they flog me for it, which they would, it won't even hurt."

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"I thought you could still be hurt, just not seriously injured. And that sounds terrible even if you aren't hurt!"

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"I mean, yeah, it is terrible. Hazel needs fixing. But I am personally the safest person from it."

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"That doesn't mean it's all right for people to hurt you."

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"I know. It might be an acceptable risk to me, that's different from thinking it's morally okay."

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"Not everybody here is horrible to demons. You can find somewhere safe."

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"I want all people everywhere to be safe."

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"You're allowed to grow up safe before you worry about other people."

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"I know I'm allowed to. It just seems like a long time to wait."

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"It's not so long."

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"I'm also not going back to school any time soon, at least, and at home no one hits me." 

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"Oh good - we did wonder -"

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"When I was little and hurt one of the house-elves. But that was just the once, and I haven't come out of it confused about whether murder is okay and wouldn't appreciate a debate over whether I did."

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"One of the what?"

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" - species in my world. My world has lots of species."

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They accept that answer and send him home.

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That's good. 

Maybe he'll take randoms instead for a little while.

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Dwarves! They are trying to find daeva who are interested in money and being on a list of daeva who accept money.

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" - sure." Someone can probably think of things to do with it.

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They set him up an account and collect the spelling of his name and start him out with thirty of some currency unit and promise he will have spending opportunities on future summonses from these Dwarves he takes.

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Okay.

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And then they thank him for his time and send him home!

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He'll keep doing this!

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Different Dwarves! They are conducting a poll about what things demons want so that they can efficiently pay them in the future! Is he willing to fill out this survey? They will try to pay him for his time but to be honest the survey is because they aren't sure how to do that and they may not be prepared with things he finds appealing.

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He'll fill out their survey. Have they consulted the flat Arda Dwarves who can make magic stuff, if they can learn how that's done it'd be very popular.  Animals that don't die have gone over very well with demons, there're demons who just really like languages and would like being summoned for that, though it only works once per language, if they have live performances of things or exceptionally good tutors or something they could maybe get somewhere with that....

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They haven't gotten directly in touch with any Flat Arda dwarves yet but they want to! What would he like for his survey?

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The other Dwarves set him up with thirty some currency, can he have thirty more?

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Yes he can! They have an exchange set up with those Dwarves and he will now be able to access sixty of the thing wherever he goes with a similar arrangement.

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Great! He is sure he'll have a use for them eventually.

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And home.

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And off!

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Godspring! His summoner looks really surprised to see him and he didn't have this language before.

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Is he in a dot -

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Nope. He's up a mountain. There are sheep over there.

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Binding -

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He can't tell; circle's gone now. Probably dot standard; she's holding a light projector.

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That's interesting. "Hi, summoner. What can I do for you?"

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"Well, I don't know, I didn't expect anything would happen."

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"Where'd you get the light projector -"

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"Why d'you want to know?"

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"If you were not expecting this to work and you don't know what you're doing you could get hurt, for one thing, and also if it's missing from a dot that could be a problem, and also I am impressed when people are clever and I'm guessing this required some cleverness."

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"Not that much."

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"Well. Summoning works outside the dots, you're just not supposed to do it at home because of the 'might get hurt' thing."

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"Are you going to hurt me?"

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"No. I'll make you some stuff and then go home. But that's the reason they're trying to be careful and I don't think they're being too careful."

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"How am I supposed to know why they were doing anything?"

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"Did you not ask them?"

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"Don't speak the language."

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"I think they're supposed to learn yours?"

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"They didn't."

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"I'll yell at 'em for you later. I can explain things to you if you tell me how you got it."

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"Watched 'em for a bit. Went down in boring clothes wearing wings I made out of ice and got out before they melted. Nobody stopped me or looked in my bag."

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"That's good. Okay. So - I'm a demon. There are also angels - feathered wings - and fairies - bug wings. We're all indestructible. If you - uh, flash that light projector - it summons one of us under certain conditions on our behavior. Then usually what you do is make a deal with us to do magic for you in exchange for some payment. Angels change things, fairies move things, demons make things. If you've summoned one you become one when you die."

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"Ah-huh."

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"I can demonstrate all the parts but the last one."

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"So why are they bringing in so many of you?"

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" - so no one dies?"

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"You just said people who've summoned you still die."

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"I mean, yes, but they wake up healthy and with magic powers instead of just permanently ceasing to exist."

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"But they wouldn't still be themselves, they'd be one of you."

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" - it doesn't change personality or anything, it just gives you magic powers."

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"That doesn't make sense."

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"Why not?"

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"I'm a human being, and if I stopped being a human being I'd be someone else whatever became of my body."

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"I mean, I was a human being and then I died and then I was a daeva and I don't feel like I'm someone else."

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"Why would it make a difference how you felt about it?"

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"Any kind of 'being a different person' that you can't actually notice under any possible circumstance seems meaningless, honestly."

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"I didn't say whoever woke up would notice, I said they'd be different."

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"In a way that literally no one can notice?"

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"What does noticing have to do with it?"

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"It means that the distinction you are trying to draw is stupid and doesn't matter. Because everything that would matter if it changed is possible to notice."

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She sighs. "Well, I suppose that at least means my magical zombie won't harm my family."

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"You will continue caring about all the same things. I guess you might lose this specific opinion of yours but maybe not, who knows."

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"And the darkfolk downslope want this to happen to them, that explains it."

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" - yeah, people mostly don't like them or their loved ones dying."

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"They'll still die!"

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"Okay, people like knowing that when they die they will wake up safe and cozy with magic powers, and can promptly come back home and hug their kids and kiss their wives!"

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"Somebody'll wake up."

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" - have you heard of forks?"

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"No."

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"Okay, so - Elves can make copies of themselves. Like, one minute there's one of them, the next one there's two. And they don't go 'somebody woke up thinking they were me', they just go - okay, what makes me myself? My memories, my experiences, my wants, my relationships - all of those are still there. Therefore my copy is a version of me."

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"I don't know what an Elf is but it sounds like they're delusional."

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"And a minute ago you didn't know what a fork was, is it possible that your off-the-cuff first impressions on these questions are not a reliable guide to the way complicated things work?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"You told me what a fork is, it's pretty obvious."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Elves can also die and be resurrected that way. Look, the understanding of 'person' you're using just doesn't capture anything anyone actually cares about. That doesn't make them delusional."

Permalink Mark Unread

"What do you mean 'anyone'?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"The known multiverse has a population of several hundred billion and you're actually the first 'physical continuity with past selves matters' person I've heard of. - how much physical continuity do you consider necessary, if someone gets a leg amputated and I make them a new one, are they a zombie or not yet - what if they lose several limbs - what if they need an organ transplant -"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Well, their leg isn't their old leg, it'd be like walking with a cane - don't know what you mean about an organ transplant -"

Permalink Mark Unread

Minor endeavors to explain what an organ transplant is!

Permalink Mark Unread

"That'd matter if it was their heart or their eyes."

Permalink Mark Unread

" - huh. Why those?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"The heartbeat is how you tell someone is alive, and the eyes are how you tell they're at home in their body."

Permalink Mark Unread

" - okay. So if you had a different way to tell if someone was alive? What happens if someone is blinded in an accident?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Then they usually go up to the snow peaks and wait to die."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Uh, that's fucked up. They - seriously don't need to do that. What if I get an angel to fix their eyes, angels don't make new stuff, it'd just be healing their existing eyes..."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I guess someone who knew them could check and see if they were the same."

Permalink Mark Unread

" - okay. Uh, would you be willing to tell me if that happens, so we can try it? Why does it mean they might as well die, if they're not the same..."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Who wants to support a useless stranger?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Me."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Are you going to just follow me around, to be told when someone has a blinding accident, it's not like that happens every year."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I can give you pieces of parchment that are special so when you draw on them I see it, and we could agree on a drawing that means I should come for some reason."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I guess if you want to take them you can."

Permalink Mark Unread

That's close enough. "Deal." Parchment with his name at the top.

Permalink Mark Unread

She takes them and looks at the writing and folds them up and tucks them into a pouch.

Permalink Mark Unread

"And maybe people should try summoning just in case it turns out when you look at their eyes it's the same person."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Once somebody's actually died that's not going to help."

Permalink Mark Unread

"What counts as death, what if someone gets frozen when they're irreparably injured so they can be thawed once help comes, what if their heart stops but we get it started again..."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Those don't sound like they'd count as not dying at all."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Starting peoples' hearts again is totally routine medical practice in places with more technology."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Then they've got a lot of folks who don't know their loved ones died."

Permalink Mark Unread

"And if you told them, they would say 'uh, no, he's right there', and they would be right and you would be - just using words in a way that doesn't mean anything."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Do you do this sort of thing to darkfolk who flip levers at you, too?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"None of them have tried explaining stupid metaphysical beliefs to me but if they did probably."

Permalink Mark Unread

Snort.

Permalink Mark Unread

"People on Revelation have tried explaining stupid metaphysical beliefs to me and I totally yell at them for it. Constantly. I got a vlog so I could yell at them even more."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I don't know what Revelation or a 'flog' are."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Revelation's a different world and a 'vlog' is a way of making recordings of yourself so people who are far away can watch them, and doing that regularly so they can follow what you're up to. The stupid metaphysical belief they have is that they have souls. They don't."

Permalink Mark Unread

"You sure seem to think you know a lot."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I do know a lot."

Permalink Mark Unread

"And you're wrong about most of it."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I'll look you up in a hundred years and if you still think so we can debate it again."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I'm going to be gone in a hundred years."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I will look up the magical zombie who cares about everything you care about, has thought processes continuous with you, remembers your life, and is you in every single respect except 'the way you use that word'."

Permalink Mark Unread

"If she's so much like me she won't think she is me."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Then I'll debate it with her."

Permalink Mark Unread

"If it amuses you that much."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Do you want anything else?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"I didn't really want to be condescended to by a magical zombie but I got it anyway."

Permalink Mark Unread

"If you don't want people to be condescending to you you could try not telling them that they're zombies and delusional for thinking otherwise."

Permalink Mark Unread

"If you don't want to be called delusional you could try not telling them that someone who's died lives on as a magical zombie."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I was murdered. I'm right here. I am not going to stop talking about what happened to me because illiterate rock people will misinterpret it."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Rock people?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"You're not beach people or valley people or canal network people or Moon people, that's for sure."

Permalink Mark Unread

"We're mountain people."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Okay, sorry. You're mountain people and I was still murdered and I am still right here."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Someone was murdered and you remember it, maybe."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I was murdered. I remember it."

Permalink Mark Unread

She sighs and goes over to her goats and pokes them to a different part of slope.

Permalink Mark Unread

"To send me home you concentrate on it for a minute."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Right then."

She does that.

Permalink Mark Unread

It works as advertised.

 

 

...he drops a note to Bright to check if they've somehow got a weird godspring that makes them see continuity of identity in peoples' eyes, or something. Probably not but he'd feel silly if he assumed they were just wrong and actually they were all mages.

Permalink Mark Unread

On inspection she was from a country with no godsprings that refused dots.

Permalink Mark Unread

Well. 

 

Their call.

 

He films a video swimming with the dragons.

Permalink Mark Unread

People are surprised he can swim with the wings. Did he have to relearn how.

Permalink Mark Unread

Learning to swim when you don't need to breathe and can't get tired isn't very hard, and if you don't know how to use the wings to make it easier you can ignore them.

Permalink Mark Unread

It seems like they'd create drag but he's the expert!

People want to know more stuff about other worlds.

Permalink Mark Unread

He makes models! This is Godspring, a globe in his hands, about a billion people, "they don't have electricity yet but they have things for navigating the oceans, they might've gotten there in the next century - they have magic. It's why the world's called that." And the different kinds of mages and how they work - "I know a couple of redmages who went to live with the Elves, and the Elves have access to a goldmage so if something went catastrophically wrong they could get a warning in advance -" - this is Sanity's Valinor, rechristened Eldalië as the interdimensional Elven capital - this is Sanity's Endorë, this is Singularity's replacement Valinor after the war -

Permalink Mark Unread

Why is Sanity called that?

Permalink Mark Unread

"Oh, we've just been nicknaming them because there's a bunch of them and Sanity didn't have a war when a lot of the Elven worlds did."

Permalink Mark Unread

Why?

Permalink Mark Unread

"The Elves have gods. They're called the Valar, and they're - well, they're gods, they made their worlds really nice for everyone, but they don't think like people and they don't understand everything we understand. In Sanity they were unusually good at explaining and so their Valar have better judgment and they didn't parole Melkor when most of the Elf worlds did."

Permalink Mark Unread

His viewership wants more detail. Also where does he get this information?

Permalink Mark Unread

"Make stuff for the Elves in exchange for hanging around with them and learning about the multiverse." And he gives a history of Melkors and what they do and how they get three thousand years in jail for this and then usually are paroled and do it again -

Permalink Mark Unread

Wow, good thing that doesn't happen everywhere!

Permalink Mark Unread

"Yeah, they're keeping an eye on all the Elf worlds they can now so it doesn't ever happen again. In Singularity it happened but now he has been stopped. They are debating whether to execute him."

Permalink Mark Unread

Revelation hasn't had the death penalty for a while. Some commenters think Melkor is an exception.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Yeah, the Elves don't have it either. But if you were going to have an exception Melkor seems like a reasonable one to have."

Permalink Mark Unread

Who names places? Why Singularity?

Permalink Mark Unread

" - they're mostly named in Quenya by Elves, I'm just loosely translating. Singularity is the only Arda that got summoning before the war but not in time to avert the war. A planet got holed during the war. The Valar put it back and everyone's alive again, but that's why it's called that."

Permalink Mark Unread

Oh no that's horrible did the GCP get whoever did it?

Permalink Mark Unread

"Had a fight with the Elves over him. Elves won because they live forever. There was a war crimes trial, a couple of my brothers attended."

Permalink Mark Unread

Where is he now do they need to worry about him?

Permalink Mark Unread

"Uh, no, he got four hundred years. You wouldn't need to worry about him anyway unless you'd covered the surface of a planet with servers torturing people."

Permalink Mark Unread

The people on Valinor hadn't done that.

Permalink Mark Unread

People who are interested in Singularity's war can read the trial transcripts, they're all public record.

Permalink Mark Unread

Where are they?

Permalink Mark Unread

" - uh, if you're not a demon it might be easiest to ask one, or the GCP observers presumably have something. And there's also translation - I'll ask the Elves if I can translate it and just link it from here."

Permalink Mark Unread

They appreciate that!

Permalink Mark Unread

There's not a Maitimo around when he gets offline so he asks Ambela.

Permalink Mark Unread

She gets the transcript for him.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Do you think it's a good idea? I mean, I don't want acceptance of demons that's hovering on keeping the whole thing secret, but -"

Permalink Mark Unread

"And it is public record. Cam comes off reasonably well, and most people won't read more than the summary, in which he comes off even better."

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. 

 

He translates into English, French, Japanese, Hindi, Mandarin, and Martian Portuguese. He posts it.

Permalink Mark Unread

It took three days. Most people don't read very far. Most people are not willing to express outright support for a planet-holing demon, but the negative space is sort of interesting.

Permalink Mark Unread

He can live with negative space.

Permalink Mark Unread

A judge reprimanded their lawyer for digressing too much into complaints about the conditions on Ganymede in her defense of Celendra. But does she happen to know anyone qualified to pursue that complaint on its own, Elves would kind of like that complaint pursued.

Permalink Mark Unread

She is happy to recommend someone.

Permalink Mark Unread

They would like Ganymede to stop gagging demons and to give the daeva more flexibility to hire their own defense attorney and participate in preparing their own defense, and while they're at it to allow them to use their magic in cases where it's necessary for disability accommodations (like for fairies who never learned to walk), and - "honestly what I want is to make them switch to the Elven system where we just send offenders back to their home realm unable to ever take summons again, but it seems like lots of pending litigation for prison conditions might be constructive for pushing them in that direction."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Will you settle for them instituting these protocols going forward or do you want them to try to recapture their entire population under the new conditions?"

Permalink Mark Unread

" - do we have any hope of achieving that?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"It's not impossible but pursuing that means making different arguments and reduces the odds of the first, at least of getting it with the initial case."

Permalink Mark Unread

" - I was going to have someone conduct an internal review for any more miscarriages of justice, I assume we'd retain the option to pursue those even if we're not aiming for recapture of the whole population -"

Permalink Mark Unread

"If you go after the GCP for similar things too many times in too close succession, you wind up running into laws intended to prevent harassment by legal action."

Permalink Mark Unread

"That seems like it shouldn't rightly apply to pursuing appeals for different people against whom they committed wrongs - is it harassment by legal action to have charged Cam with fifty million counts of murder, given how he actually did in fact murder fifty million people -"

Permalink Mark Unread

"No, because it was done in a single case."

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. "In that case let me get back to you on which strategy we want to pursue once we've done a review of the existing cases."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Of course. You know how to reach me."

Permalink Mark Unread

And if they interview all of the daeva and look at all of the rest of the cases -

Permalink Mark Unread

Murders, most less defensible than Celendra's. Rapists. Property damage. A couple weird crimes like getting a dozen random people pregnant or attempting to overthrow the government of Switzerland or the furniture angel.

Permalink Mark Unread

The Elf who was interviewing the guy who got a dozen random people pregnant vomits on the spot and has to leave. They tell the lawyers it's fine to just push for a change in procedures from here forward.

Permalink Mark Unread

The lawyer files to attempt this. It goes slowly by human standards.

Permalink Mark Unread

Elves are satisfied. They reach out to the GCP to reiterate that sending daeva back to their home realms under a humane binding is always an option.

Permalink Mark Unread

Well, they didn't actually let the GCP see it done so they're still skeptical. Also they checked and the fairy and one demon they recommended to the Elves earlier are not even on summon right now, their circles are still live.

Permalink Mark Unread

Yeah, they're on the magic-dampening planet Varda set up for them, do they want to send observers to take a look?

Permalink Mark Unread

Sure but that doesn't sound like being sent home under a binding.

Permalink Mark Unread

"They can't take summons from there, they're effectively neutralized, the only difference between that and sending them home is that they're not at home."

Permalink Mark Unread

The Elves really need to get the hang of saying what they actually mean and not things that they think are similar.

Permalink Mark Unread

"I hope it has been expressed at some point that Elves experience prison as torture. To us it looks like you are torturing everybody constantly. I get a lot of questions from home about how we can in good faith have any kind of diplomatic relationship with a society that has prisons, at all. We are very committed to overcoming this cultural barrier but I think it will take a great deal of work on both our parts."

Permalink Mark Unread

The GCP is not generically unwilling to entertain alternatives but it is going to insist on knowing what they are and how they can confirm that, and vague descriptions later proven inaccurate are not helpful. They are not imprisoning daeva at the Elves, and daeva are not themselves Elves, so this seems like an Elf problem.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Okay. What we are doing is removing daeva from their realms to a magically monitored planet on which their magic is suppressed. From there they can contact attorneys and ask questions; they can at any time decide to instead be returned to their native realms to take a prison summons, yours or ours. If they decline to do that, we conduct a trial, the results of which will probably be indefinite detention on a supervised magic planet from which they cannot be summoned. Most people so far have chosen to return to their native realms under a binding, but the actual guaranteed outcome is 'unable to accept summons or interact with your dimension again, unless they are acquitted or until they've served their time."

Permalink Mark Unread

"How do you prevent them from taking random or nonprison summonses while allowing them to take prison summonses?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"A Vala accompanies them back; if they try anything the Vala can intervene instantaneously."

Permalink Mark Unread

"You've mentioned before that the Valar are not the law enforcement branch of your government," remarks the observer, "and that we shouldn't expect what you anticipate of their conduct - at least insofar as you tell us about it - to necessarily follow."

Permalink Mark Unread

"If there is a problem like that in the next five centuries or so I agree that would be reason to conclude we are not positioned to manage dangerous daeva. I am optimistic that problems will arise infrequently enough that I can speak with assurance at least over such a short span of time."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Then why did you make a point of insisting that you couldn't speak for the Valar?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"At the time they had not clarified their intent, and I can tell you my confidence in it once I know it but I cannot direct it."

Permalink Mark Unread

"All right. Those two have declined trials?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"One made the trial conditional on access to a not-yet-released human book, the other is engaged in an act of protest by declining to participate in the legal system, or so he tells us. That's a constructive refusal of trial, so yes."

Permalink Mark Unread

"We generally don't leave that up to the daeva. They can be tried without their cooperation if necessary."

Permalink Mark Unread

"If you advise that we proceed with a trial without cooperation we certainly can. What advantages does that possess over letting them wait around until they decide to cooperate?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Clearer records, and in our case it means we can't be sued for denying them the right to a speedy trial, which when some judges are adjudicating it applies even if the defendant doesn't want it."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Our law does not have that provision but the clarity in records and the closure for the victims might make it worth it. I will suggest to my superiors that they start those trials."

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Now that some measures have been taken to counteract the potential damage, I would be willing to discuss the secret information relevant to the Swan trial if you think that would be conducive to rebuilding trust and helping your government understand our urgency in handling that particular case."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I can't tell you how that will go without knowing what the information is."

Permalink Mark Unread

He frowns at him assessingly. "If you can arrange a location where we can be certain there are no unchiplocked recording devices I would be delighted to discuss the matter further."

Permalink Mark Unread

"We were about to go look in on your daeva planet, weren't we? Does that meet the requirements?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"That will suffice, yes. There's a stable portal there to Tirion but I can arrange for a special one. Let me know when is convenient."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I'll report in to HQ and then I have no other demands on my time for the next few hours."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Thank you." And he arranges for them to go check in on the planet.

Permalink Mark Unread

The representative checks their (lack of) bindings. "I've never actually seen a daeva not on summon," he remarks. "I suppose that would be obvious."

Permalink Mark Unread

"We haven't visited the daeva realms either. There were a few thrill-seekers who were tempted and promised they'd cover the resurrection, we said absolutely not."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Oh? Why?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Daeva won't assume people they see in their home realms are fragile, they could easily kill someone by accident and would probably find that upsetting, there could be outcomes worse than death that we'd then have to divert resources to handling..."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Hm. Is it safe to get closer to them? They're not bound, I don't know how to look for other restrictions on their behavior."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Around here their magic doesn't work. There -" indicating the boundary - "is the deceleration zone for if a fairy decided to fling something at us from where magic does work."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I'm afraid I don't have enough physics to know if that lets me within speaking distance to talk to the fairy."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Within shouting distance, but he'd have to come over if he wants to talk."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Through the deceleration zone, you mean?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Yes."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Is it likely to do that?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Less likely if you call him 'it', his name is Jake."

Permalink Mark Unread

"It's GCP policy till the individual requests otherwise."

Permalink Mark Unread

"On what grounds?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"I don't have the handbook memorized."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Are demons able to point to their preferred pronouns on a list or something?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"I don't work at the prison, I'm not sure how they do that."

Permalink Mark Unread

He calls out to Jake and Trelane that they'd love to speak with them if possible.

Permalink Mark Unread

Trelane flaps over. Jake flips them off.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Hi," he says to her. "How are you doing?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Well, I can still read fanfic here, so it's better than Ganymede. What do you want?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"We have an observer from Ganymede who I think was interested in talking with people here, though maybe they're not allowed to talk to demons, I neglected to ask."

Permalink Mark Unread

"That's not really how it works," says the GCP observer. "They're usually prevented from talking with us, but we're allowed to talk to them."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Oh good! Trelane, this is Jaxton."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Okay, so, what's your deal?" Trelane asks.

"Did you name yourself after the protagonist from -"

"Yes, you didn't come here to ask me that, did you?"

"No. Can you tell me about the arrest and incarceration process you experienced here?"

"This aura-of-what-the-fuck lady showed up and was like 'I'm arresting you' and I was like 'uh' and she was like 'yep' and she brought me here and I can make stuff over there but not here. She read the Pegasus Cycle when I gave it to her but still doesn't get that the third book neeeeeeeds to be released, fuck the publishing holdups, so I don't really think she's all there and I don't wanna try taking her summon. I can make stuff so I can still write my friends, this is better than you chuckleheads by a long shot even if they don't know what they're doing."

Permalink Mark Unread

"If she wanted it would also be possible for her to consult with attorneys. No one has yet attempted that."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I met your arresting officer, I assume you got your lawyers free with a subscription to a taco stand."

Permalink Mark Unread

"If you decline to find yourself representation the court will appoint you some."

Permalink Mark Unread

"How am I supposed to find myself representation, tell you I want Agueda Silva and wait for you to fetch her?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Sure, I can give her a call."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Go for it."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I don't know if she'll agree to represent you, have anyone else in mind if she doesn't?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Yeah of course I know a million human lawyers," snorts Trelane, rolling her eyes. "That's definitely a thing I researched ahead of time."

Permalink Mark Unread

"You could research it now," he says. "Or we can try to compile a list of human lawyers who want to familiarize themself with the Elven legal system and take daeva defendants, but that might take some time."

Permalink Mark Unread

"If you know what you were doing you would have a directory or something here."

Permalink Mark Unread

"We have the actual attorneys here so you can meet with them, we just don't have human ones among them because there are no humans accredited to navigate the Elven legal system."

Permalink Mark Unread

She looks around. "Where? Where are they? Also why am I even being tried in the Elven legal system I didn't kill an Elf."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Didn't answer Ganymede's summons and we too have an interest in ensuring murderers are not taking summons. And as we have records of having explained to you, you can go through the portal, though magic won't work there, to downtown Tirion and attorneys there are prepared to work with you."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I don't care what you've recorded explaining to me, I don't speak Elf and if your prerequisite for getting a lawyer is being able to navigate a city I've never heard of before you're delusional."

Permalink Mark Unread

"If you had expressed this concern before you would have been advised that they speak English. I am unfamiliar with any judicial systems under which 'being prosecuted in a city foreign to the defendant' was considered inadequate access to counsel, but if you desire to retain Elven counsel after all we will ensure that someone is assigned to assist you with the process."

Permalink Mark Unread

"You seem to have very high expectations of the cooperativeness of arrested criminals," remarks the GCP representative.

Permalink Mark Unread

"We are adjusting our procedures to account for species differences in cooperativeness. Everything went very smoothly with the last demon defendant."

Permalink Mark Unread

"The one who holed a planet?"

"That guy holed a planet? He said he blew up a space station."

Permalink Mark Unread

"The demon who holed a planet had a trial with Elven attorneys, was acquitted on some of the counts he faced and convicted on some others, and sentenced to four hundred years' probation on a long-term summons here. The demon who blew up a space station agreed to return to Hell under a binding to not take additional summonses rather than go to trial."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I'd take that if I thought you had a clue what you were doing but I don't appreciate being a test subject," says Trelane.

Permalink Mark Unread

"That is wholly your choice. We'll schedule a trial instead."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Fuckhead," says Trelane and she flaps away.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Was that everything you wanted to know?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"If you try her and she cooperates with her lawyer at all and Elf law is anything like ours she'll have all kinds of procedural technicalities to demand mistrial over."

Permalink Mark Unread

"We don't hold that irregularities in arrest procedures invalidate an arrest, just evidence derived from it."

Permalink Mark Unread

"How long have you been holding them here? Are you feeding that fairy?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"If you want to raise procedural complaints with the system here you're welcome to have your attorneys talk to ours."

Permalink Mark Unread

"They won't know what complaints to raise if they don't know how long you've been holding them without trial and whether you're feeding the fairy."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Yes, they're feeding him. Our laws recognize the right to request an immediate trial, which they have not done. They have been informed they could go to Ganymede if they preferred it, and they do not prefer it, which I hope mitigates some concerns you might have."

Permalink Mark Unread

"If they have the right to an immediate trial they should've gotten immediate trials, if you wait for criminal daeva to jump through hoops for you you'll be waiting forever."

Permalink Mark Unread

"They have the right to request an immediate trial, the only hoop involved is saying 'I want a trial', and we're fine with waiting forever."

Permalink Mark Unread

"You people are unqualified to hold daeva."

Permalink Mark Unread

"They could go to Ganymede if they preferred."

Permalink Mark Unread

"If they cooperated with you enough to tell you they prefer it!"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Yep!"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Look, these are criminals, they are not disposed to work with you, you need a default that works, and this doesn't hold up."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I see your point, and we can continue to revise for the needs of new species as we encounter them. I did say we were going to revise procedures to have a trial even without cooperation, and we can make similar adjustments. In the meantime, no one can get hurt and no one is kept under inhumane conditions, which strikes me as a satisfactory state from which to develop better procedures."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I don't think this is a dire emergency or anything, but it's not good."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I'll tell the people involved to address it immediately."

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Care to walk through the portal into Tirion with me and discuss the other aspect of the problem?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"All right."

Permalink Mark Unread

Tirion! There are offices here for daeva who do want to consult with attorneys; he finds one. He closes the door. 

"Demons can make Elves."

Permalink Mark Unread

 

"You must be joking."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I very badly wish I were. Our system is badly optimized for handling miscellaneous murderers because the thing we are trying to prepare for is possibly needing to arrest a significant fraction of Hell. It's a secret; doesn't work naively. But it only takes a few weeks to figure out, and if someone publishes how then they'll all be able to."

Permalink Mark Unread

"How was this discovered?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"The day we met Cam we asked him if he could do resurrections, not aware of any of the implications. He tried; it didn't work. Demons can make us new bodies around legitimate copies of our chips, and that's a healthy Elf, but a new body around a demonic chip did nothing. Later, during the war - I was dead at the time, so this is secondhand - someone thought to wonder what went wrong, exactly - whether he was making blank chips, or corrupted ones - and if they were corrupted, if there was a way to restore them. It turns out it's even simpler than that. Read the data from the chip, write it to a new one, all of which can be done with a conjurable machine the size of a chair, and making a body around that goes fine."

Permalink Mark Unread

"My God."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I am sure that without that context our insistence on handling Cam - and on having a system for daeva that is far more designed around scalability than due process - are damaging to our credibility. But you can imagine why we are reluctant to offer the context too freely."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Yes. Yes, I can see that. Well. To the GCP the important things are that the daeva know we'll go for them if they hurt someone - outsourcing to you was a controversial idea for that reason - and that once we have them they know what's going to happen with us, namely trial and sentencing and internment, whether they like it or not. Even scaling up you can probably improve in those areas, especially since you seem so willing to - chat - with them."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Yes. And those are eminently reasonable priorities. I absolutely want there to exist certainty that they will be arrested if they hurt someone, and I think we can achieve an acceptable process afterwards. I think you do a very good job at both goals and we would love to have you as resources in accomplishing that. Just - while explaining ourselves fully to as small a circle of people as possible."

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Do you think it would be conducive to future cooperation for your superiors to know this?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Some of 'em will take my word for it. Maybe enough of them to pick policies that work out okay on the cooperation front."

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. "I hope that's so. If that's not enough let me know and we can figure out what to do."

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Has the GCP investigated the claim that summoners become daeva when they die?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"...the extranet meme?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Daeva don't mention it during trials occasionally?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"I don't think so? Maybe they do. My usual position is as a contact for law enforcement."

Permalink Mark Unread

"We've heard it from a lot of different sources."

Permalink Mark Unread

"It's definitely a thing on the extranet lately, my wife's thinking of delivering a sermon disclaiming it."

Permalink Mark Unread

"So it's untrue?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Well, of course. Heaven and Hell are just called that, they're not where people go to be judged upon death."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I mean, you verified with forensics that it's false?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"I don't have access to the forensics department on my own recognizance for important things, let alone memes."

Permalink Mark Unread

"The GCP is taken very seriously. If you debunk something wrongly that seems like it'd do damage to the organizational credibility. Our departments did verify it. Either people become daeva when they die or we're missing something."

Permalink Mark Unread

"But daeva tell us they appeared spontaneously as adults with no memories, and they don't look the same as people either."

Permalink Mark Unread

"The claim is that ex-summoners become daeva, not that most or even many daeva are ex-summoners."

Permalink Mark Unread

"- summoners, like, professionals -?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Humans who have summoned. We are not the best equipped to investigate, we could be missing something. But for every human who has summoned and is dead, here or in Godspring, there is a corresponding daeva. The Godspring mage ones sometimes even keep their magic."

Permalink Mark Unread

 

"I'll put in a forensics request."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Thank you. I really do appreciate all your help."

Permalink Mark Unread

He's a little too shaken to tell Maitimo that he's welcome.

Permalink Mark Unread

That's fine. He puts in a request for people administering the daeva-arrest thing to meet human legal standards - "and get lawyers to sort the status of the redmages, while you're at it," he tells his alt - and gets back to arrangements for tourism.

 

 

Jake's court-appointed attorney asks to meet with him.

Permalink Mark Unread

Does this involve Jake going somewhere he can't fly, because Jake does not really like that.

Permalink Mark Unread

Attorney considers for a little while then sighs and walks over to where Jake can fly. 

Permalink Mark Unread

Jake sits in the air sullenly. "You're probably not here to tell me that there's been a mistake and I can go home, are you."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I'm your defense attorney, I don't have the power to decide that. It sounds like there have been mistakes that I am going to try to use to get you sent home, but your cooperation will aid me in that tremendously."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Everybody's been real excited to tell me about how I should cooperate in my own abduction, which, fuck that. What do you need to get them to let me go?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"There's going to be a trial. They're going to attempt to prove that you tortured a lot of people to death. We're going to try to explain what happened in a way that persuades them you didn't break any laws, they broke laws so badly in the course of arresting you that you should be let go to teach them a lesson, or you've already spent enough time here to account for whatever wrongs you've done and should now be sent home. I would need to know more about what happened to make a case for any of those things."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I haven't the foggiest fucking clue what laws they'd need to have broken to acknowledge they fucked up."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Didn't offer you a trial, didn't offer you a lawyer, didn't inform you of the charges against you, didn't arrive at the conclusion there were charges against you via acceptable means, kept you contained to within a space smaller than ten miles square,  I could make the case that for a fairy that's intolerable and it should be a thousand - didn't give you access to food and water and internet and contact with other people, didn't have people available to answer questions or concerns, exposed you to danger, exposed you to violence, threatened to do any of the above..."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Didn't credibly offer me those things?" he suggests. "Haven't mentioned how many counts? I have no idea how big this place is. Didn't ask me if I had any dietary restrictions. Selection of 'other people' is shit. I don't think my girlfriend knows where I am or if I'm ever coming back. I don't think there's Internet in here."

Permalink Mark Unread

Notes notes notes. "Seven counts. What are your dietary restrictions? How can your girlfriend be contacted?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"The lady who arrested me sure contacted her all right in the first place, my girlfriend told her to leave me alone. I don't have the first clue where the food they've been offering me comes from and I've been getting the demon to make me stuff, I don't eat animal products that involved animals."

Permalink Mark Unread

He blinks. "If they left you under the impression they were serving you meat from dead animals that might be sufficient - does that happen in Fairyland -"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Yes, that still happens in Fairyland, it's mostly stopped in the mortal world now."

Permalink Mark Unread

"- do you mind if I go tell a colleague to file to get that stopped right now, I'll be back in ten minutes -"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Go for it."

Permalink Mark Unread

Jake's lawyer goes off. Jake's lawyer comes back fifteen minutes later.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Get what stopped, exactly?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"- the killing of animals for agriculture? And animal suffering, period, but that one the courts are going to drag their feet on without a cooperative local population, that's what happened with orcs -"

Permalink Mark Unread

"I don't know what an orc is. And good luck getting fairies to quit eating animals. It's mostly hunting, though, not factory farms."

Permalink Mark Unread

"We'll file on behalf of all the relevant animals and maybe they'll just decide to evacuate them. Or make them indestructible, if that's possible, I'm not sure, it's not my area."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Fairyland is infinite. But maybe you can cover as far as anyone's willing to haul or something, a few lightyears."

Permalink Mark Unread

" - that doesn't solve the wild animal suffering, though - there's infinite wild animal suffering going on and no one thought this merited discussion with all this new multiverse stuff - I'm sorry, this is off topic -"

Permalink Mark Unread

"No, it matters, did anybody tell you who I killed?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"I have names but not their relationship to you or anything like that -"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Not their relationship to me, I got seven of the last twelve CEOs of factory farming operations before they found my summoner and made her dismiss me."

Permalink Mark Unread

" - ah.

 

 

 

Do you want to give me your account of what happened?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"It was more than a century ago. I thought the thing about summoners becoming daeva would be public knowledge any minute, so I couldn't just kill them, their fucking carnivore families would get some of them - I didn't know which ones - summoned right back and they'd go on with their lives. Might've just killed them if I'd known it'd stay secret this long. Anyway I gave them something to think about even if they did come back, you debeak millions of chickens a year I rip your lips off."

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. "And this did not just result in approximately-just-as-capable people being appointed to the same positions?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"News filtered in pretty slow, we have to get it from Hell and summonees, but nah, it freaked them way the fuck out and they bailed. They were only still going because of their lobbyists making it illegal to serve schoolchildren demonic meat and their fake scientists being all cautious about the health implications."

Permalink Mark Unread

"You will be asked in court whether you'll be tempted to do this in other places that still have factory farming."

Permalink Mark Unread

Shrug. "Can I just sic Elves on them? Are you any good at it? I did what I could with what I had."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I don't know how good we'll be at acting elsewhere - I don't think hunting's illegal in Godspring - we know it's important. We can stop time in worlds until we're equipped to fix it. 

 

 - uh, this is looking like it might be worth bringing in the lawyers for the Swan trial, honestly."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Huh?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Uh, the demon who holed a planet. I'd much rather this be a war crimes trial than a murder trial, 'the greater good' isn't a murder defense."

Permalink Mark Unread

"...not sure how you categorize it as a war, but if you can do that..."

Permalink Mark Unread

"There's definitely an argument that the fact one side can't talk shouldn't be disqualifying - I'm not, actually, qualified to make it, but I can find people -"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Ah-huh."

Permalink Mark Unread

"If you don't care to leave Fairyland again it might be more in your interests to take the plea and go home, if it's a murder trial this really can't be introduced as a defense at all."

Permalink Mark Unread

"The plea is the summon? I have no way to verify they didn't fuck that up as bad as everything else."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I can verify it, if you'd like."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Do you know anything about summoning?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"No, but we have technical experts on staff and one of them has expertise in summoning."

Permalink Mark Unread

"And you're sure they don't talk out their ass?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Do you want to look at the circle yourself, would that help?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Is it complicated? I can't figure out the complicated kinds."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I don't know. I can make some inquiries."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Ah-huh."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Do you have questions for me? - oh, there's apparently internet but it doesn't extend to the area where you can fly, I can file a complaint about that and get the range extended -"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Yeah. You have no idea how much chairs all suck until you can float."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Elves don't become daeva so I suppose I will never know. Any other questions?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Does my girlfriend know what's going on?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"I would assume she knows that you were arrested but not necessarily that she knows how to visit you."

Permalink Mark Unread

"No shit she doesn't know how to visit me. If I were in Ganymede she could catch a random and ask for a few hours to fly out and see me."

Permalink Mark Unread

"She can still do that but it'd have to be an Arda random. I'll make sure she knows."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Is there a more efficient way for her to do it, or...?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Yeah, if they don't have people whose job it is to summon friends for you then they will as soon as I can tell a judge that."

Permalink Mark Unread

"She'd have to know it was just a visitor circle and you weren't arresting her to investigate her for something."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I think their procedure right now is to not go into Fairyland but to pay people to deliver messages. If she doesn't trust a message are there additional measures I should insist on -"

Permalink Mark Unread

"I don't know what other measures you have."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Valar can visit directly but I can't have a court order them to do that, same with getting them to set up a portal between here and Fairyland which you can't pass through but anyone else can..."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Why do you have Valar in your legal system at all if they don't respond to court orders?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Because otherwise we wouldn't have any way to improve much on Ganymede?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Improve on it at... stealing people out of our apartments to store us on alien worlds?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Enforcing the law, which both prohibits torturing people to death and prohibits torturing animals to death and is therefore on the whole on your side, here, I think."

Permalink Mark Unread

Sigh.

Permalink Mark Unread

"If some sadist in Hell is making thousands of eggs to hatch into chickens to torture just for fun, I want the Valar licensed to grab her and make her stop."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Demons are on the whole relatively decent about animals."

Permalink Mark Unread

"We haven't heard of any complaints like that. But there are billions of demons."

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod.

Permalink Mark Unread

"I'll file to get your quality-of-life complaints sorted and ask about ways you could verify the binding to stay home just does that."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Thanks."

Permalink Mark Unread

"If you need anything else you can reach me on the computers over there -" business card -

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod.

Permalink Mark Unread

"See you tomorrow."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Mkay."

Permalink Mark Unread

He leaves.

Permalink Mark Unread

He calls a lawyer to request things get sorted for Cir. Godspring summoning traffic slows; everyone's had a chance to visit a circle who is old enough and well enough to send a daeva home. Infant mortality they'll have to fight with sanitation and vaccinations and so on. He revises dot designs for the next world in order to minimize wait times.

Permalink Mark Unread

"What do we need to do with the lawyer?" Ruviri wonders.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Ah, her job is to explain to you how you can access your money and go to the police if you wanted to and how you're not under any contractual obligations our laws recognize. I know you know, but laws sacrifice - fit to a situation - in exchange for predictability and predictability is genuinely important."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Okay," says Ruviri.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Thank you."

 

 

The lawyer explains those things to each of them separately and asks if they have any questions.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Why did you want to see us one at a time?" Cir asks.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Sometimes people might feel pressured to respond a certain way or not bring up a certain complaint if there are other people in the room."

Permalink Mark Unread

"...she's my sister. My redmage sister. Even if she would ever do anything to hurt me she'd know if I said something about it whether she was there or not."

Permalink Mark Unread

"We're definitely encountering a lot of respects in which our procedures aren't really equipped for redmages. But she'd know next time she saw you, right, and if something were wrong you wouldn't need to see anyone here again."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Well, yeah. But I wouldn't want to never see her again."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Do you have any suggestions about how we could help redmages in abusive situations, since they probably wouldn't tell us if they thought we'd hurt the people they loved?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Well, you probably shouldn't hurt the people they love."

Permalink Mark Unread

"We could have some sort of confidentiality principle," she agrees, "so liasons in this role wouldn't report abuse to the authorities. I can suggest that."

Permalink Mark Unread

"...then what would they be for?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Giving you the information and making sure you feel free to ask enough questions to fully understand it?"

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Do you have any questions? I'm not under a confidentiality agreement but if you'd like a promise not to cause trouble for the prince over it I could promise that."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I can't think of anything you'd cause trouble for him over. He's always perfectly lovely to me," says Cir.

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. "Well, here's how to reach me if you have any."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Okay."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Thanks for doing that," he says later.

Permalink Mark Unread

Snuggle. "It wasn't a big deal."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Shouldn't be a big deal. Anyway, there's a procedure now and I can stop telling everyone not to date humans under any circumstances in favor of something a bit more balanced and sensible."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Instead if Elves date humans you have to give them lots of money in a trust that the Elf can't revoke, I'm sure it will be very discouraging to the humans." Kiss.

Permalink Mark Unread

Kiss. "I expect some Elves will get taken advantage of but at least they will have gotten a safety lesson warning against it and a broken heart is probably more easily mended than the realization you were accidentally exploiting someone."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I think it'd usually be more ambiguous how much people were being exploited, if they were? Like, even someone who really needs help won't pick an Elf at random - I interviewed you a little first and I knew I could love you pretty much no matter what -"

Permalink Mark Unread

"If I'd been a jerk would you have tried to talk to my entourage? Or the fairy?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Probably would have depended on what exactly you did."

Permalink Mark Unread

Snuggle. "Fair enough. I am more worried about things like 'someone lies to an Elf about taking Seedlessness regularly' or 'someone lies to an Elf about being married', those would be - clear-cut, upsetting, not implausible -"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Does Seedlessness not work on Elves? It's unisex. We usually take it redundantly and even if we don't expect it to come up, it's not that expensive."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Haven't checked and it's anyway quite plausible we're not relevantly intercompatible species, but that'd help."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Bar'd know, she knows drug things."

Permalink Mark Unread

He makes a note to ask. 

"Do you think you'd want kids someday?"

Permalink Mark Unread

 

"I'd like it but it's probably better if I don't because I'd have to touch them and I'm trying not to do too much of that. Maybe one."

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. Squeeze. 

Permalink Mark Unread

" - so," he says to the president of Mars the next time he's there, "I met a demon with a long-standing dream to terraform Mars, I don't suppose there's any way you could indulge him?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"What a curious thing for a demon to want to do," says the president of Mars. "I'm afraid all our terraforming negotiations have been tied up in safety concerns, and historical and areological preservation interests, for a long time now..."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I thought that might be the case. Hazel has a Mars, I'll point him there."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Why does he want to terraform Mars?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"I think because it's an interesting engineering project that would benefit lots of people."

Permalink Mark Unread

"How did this even come up?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Some of my colleagues have been doing a lot of recruiting for demons interested in humanitarian work in the preindustrial worlds we've found - supplying vaccination clinics, laying down infrastructure, building a power grid, that kind of thing - and I observed a few of the interviews when I most recently visited home. And somebody asked if we wanted a planet terraformed because he had an abiding ambition to terraform Mars but would at least enjoy terraforming somewhere."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Can't they do that in Hell?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Sure, and they do, but in Hell no one really benefits. I'm sure you feel the draw of public service, of improving the lives of others..."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Well, sure, just seems funny for a demon to have that."

Permalink Mark Unread

"There're billions of them. I'm sure plenty of them have zero interest in helping mortals, and obviously some of them enjoy hurting them, but enough of them see the appeal of helping that we've had no trouble staffing every clinic in Godspring and no adverse incidents unless you count the demon who freed a bunch of slaves ahead of schedule."

Permalink Mark Unread

"...what did it do with them?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"She sought out a exiled leader of a slave rebellion and supplied him and then supplied the refugees once he got them out."

Permalink Mark Unread

"...huh."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I think Universal Studios bought the rights to make a documentary. If conclusions are ever reached about what Mars needs do let me know."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Is Hazel's Mars uninhabited?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Yes."

Permalink Mark Unread

"If you wanted to guarantee the Areological Society access to it, they'd be easier to budge on terraforming this one."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I can do that. I can petition for a portal but I think they're reluctant to do portals between here and the preindustrial humans for as long as they're on restricted summoning access."

Permalink Mark Unread

"No great hurry. The arcologies aren't at capacity and don't take long for demons to add to."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I can at least get portals added to the fifty-year transition plan. Thanks so much."

Permalink Mark Unread

"You're welcome, my friend, of course!"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Can't get started on the fifty year transition plan until we have a way to handle wizards," he complains later. 

Permalink Mark Unread

"Steal some detection magic from future wizarding worlds, have inexplicably competent law enforcement -"

Permalink Mark Unread

"The only thing I've turned up that might be useful like that which works for Hazel wizardry per se is something called the Trace which is used to ban underage magic in a clumsy discriminatory way, but I can look harder."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Is there a way to patch the things that make it clumsy and discriminatory -"

Permalink Mark Unread

"If we really wanted to go that route I'd give it to your dad to work on but I didn't see an obvious fix."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Dots with really good video surveillance so we can notice and handle problems, and a rule against taking the daeva offsite, might be okay."

Permalink Mark Unread

"And they have to avoid anyone stealing the projectors. Again."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Projectors that don't work without external electricity are easy - I think easier than the kind which work anywhere, actually - they just have batteries in case of outages or something, and could be designed without them."

Permalink Mark Unread

 

"Okay, but if projectors don't work at all in case of excess magic..."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Then wizards break the dots, yeah. And we still have the problem where ex-wizard daeva will be highly motivated to get their magic back and are, by and large, not exceptionally nice people."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Does Vala antimagic work on us too?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Haven't asked them, that's a good idea."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Ideally it'd work on individuals and not just areas but that seems like not how they work."

Permalink Mark Unread

"As far as I know, yeah, they don't seem able to do that. Areas might be enough, though, if the dots were safe."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Enough to get people summoning; not enough to make the daeva realms safe. For all we know accidental magic is enough to turn a lizard into a dragon - or somebody will waylay Minor in transit next time a park wants a pair - or a fairy will steal a potions cupboard with unicorn hair in it - and then people can make their own wands."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Not impossible, over a long enough time scale, but by then we're going to need to be policing the daeva realms anyway, I don't think the Elves're expecting the forking thing to stay quiet forever and the orcs'll finish their artificial womb..."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I'm sure they mean well." Sigh.

Permalink Mark Unread

"They clearly do." Sigh.

Permalink Mark Unread

A fairy messenger informs Jake's girlfriend that she can visit him by taking a summons to Arda or taking the one specifically for her, which is just so she can visit and doesn't involve imprisoning her or anything.

Permalink Mark Unread

She shows up. She wants to know if there's any privacy to be had.

Permalink Mark Unread

It's a planet, they can go really far away from everyone else pretty trivially.

Permalink Mark Unread

Any privacy with beds or the ability to fly, ideally the second one.

Permalink Mark Unread

The magic-disabled area has beds and the rest of the planet has the ability to fly.

Permalink Mark Unread

Off they zoom.

Permalink Mark Unread

Good for them. Maitimo patiently inquires of Agueda Silva whether she would like to defend hostages demon.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Can she pay my rate?" asks Agueda Silva.

Permalink Mark Unread

"I don't think she has any money, but if you'd otherwise take the case I could endeavor to persuade the court to cover it."

Permalink Mark Unread

"It doesn't seem as interesting for precedent-setting as the last one, but I do set my rate such that I'll happily represent even very boring clients who pay it."

Permalink Mark Unread

The courts are worried about the precedent it sets to pay for whatever defense lawyer anywhere in any dimension the client requests. They have a long debate about whether daeva should be allowed to earn money after arrest to pay for lawyers of their choice. They conclude this should probably be allowed, as long as representation remains adequate without it, and Trelane is so informed.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Uh, how am I supposed to do that from here?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"This just occurred to them as something you should have the right to do, so I think they're still making arrangements, but they'll set up a portal to the portal planet with rails and then if you'd like I think you can fill trains and they'll have someone else verify them?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Okay... at what rate?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"LIke I said, this was only recently established in court as something that should be allowed, I don't think they have any details set yet. Eventually they'll allow anyone to do it and then there'll be competition and you can go to whoever pays best, but it might take a little time for private organizations to figure out how to take advantage."

Permalink Mark Unread

Sigh. "The person I killed is completely fine right now and you guys know it and you're being so dumb about trying to figure out how to punish me for it!"

Permalink Mark Unread

"I'm sorry you feel that way."

 

It takes ten days and three hours - five for the news to reach Endorë, five for a lightleaper back, three hours for setup - and then there are five Dwarven organizations vying for prison labor. Three are in fact running supply trains, with a second set of demons for verification; one of the other ones does starships and space stations, and the fifth lets people at home write in with requests and proposed payments for them and then collates them for her.

Permalink Mark Unread

...okay, how much does she have to make to get a really good lawyer?

Permalink Mark Unread

She could pay Agueda Silva for the whole trial with like two weeks of train-filling.

Permalink Mark Unread

That's not so bad. She fills trains. She prefers ones that are well-specified enough that she can read while she does them.

Permalink Mark Unread

This is easy to accommodate. 

Permalink Mark Unread

" - this particular demon might be cooperating but if you wanted to hurt more people this way - how closely are they screening -"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Are they even screening?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"They're doing x-rays, but can think of a couple creative ways to get around that and I heard of x-rays this morning."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Yeah. That's all?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"I mean, I think they have fairies doing the unloading in an unpopulated area so you'd have to be careful if you wanted to actually hurt someone, but I do not think there are additional layers of screening, no."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Yeah time bombs are an old concept. Weigh the cars? It'd be a little hard to inconspicuously match expected weight. Only a little though."

Permalink Mark Unread

"If you were going off blueprints and didn't want to be taking suspicious pauses, wanted to match x-ray and expected weight..."

Permalink Mark Unread

"...add helium in things?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"I wonder if Amriac would find it entertaining to play saboteur demon and see what she can get past them. Maybe give them more awareness of what to expect -"

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"She might think that was fun, yeah."

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So he asks!

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"Biologicals!" she says. "Wouldn't need much of some of it. Especially if they want food."

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He writes them observing these problems and suggesting more stringent screening. Biologicals they can conjure for, at least.

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If they want gigantic anthrax around, sure. Hard to see lifesize.

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It's not dangerous if it's, like, plastic, right?

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Yes, they can replace all the water in an anthrax with plastic and there can be giant plastic anthrax.

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It can be marble-sized plastic anthrax as long as they're sure they'd find it. 

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Of course, with only one demon in the prison having trustworthy one to check all the incoming trainloads is strictly less efficient than trusting that one to make the trainloads to begin with.

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Eventually there might be more than one demon in prison but yes, at the moment that seems true. He writes his alt who met Trelane.

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"Don't think she's going to try to murder random Dwarves. If she could get anything out of it maybe."

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Then they can figure out efficient screening procedures later. 

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Trelane doesn't try to murder random Dwarves. (She tries their fiction but finds it dry, perhaps to their benefit.) When she has plenty of money Silva is taking time off for health reasons but recommends her a colleague, who tells her the case is pretty hopeless but gamely puts together an attempt at a defense based on the permanence of art and impermanence of mortal life plus procedural complaints mostly stolen from Jake's case.

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The procedural complaints mostly win, but the court just orders them remedied. Murder being okay for the sake of art is not a winning argument; the judges actually kind of can't figure out what to do with someone who murdered someone and believes themself entirely justified and isn't sorry at all. They endeavor to consult the victim, who doesn't take a summons at first but is responsive to an angel messenger explaining that she's invited to comment on sentencing of the demon who killed her.

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"What? Didn't Ganymede get her?"

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"Uh, no, they've been trying but she's been evading the circles so now some interdimensional power who can yank people around without circles yanked her and had a trial and she was convicted and by their laws you're entitled to comment on sentencing."

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"Oh. Do I need to take the summon?"

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"That's the most convenient method but they can also do the yanking thing if for some reason you prefer that."

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"Will they send me back after not too long, I have plans."

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"As soon as you want."

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"Yeah, all right." She takes the summon.

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Does she prefer an apology, some other form of remedy, or no contact with her murderer, does she want sentencing to take into account distress she experienced and distress experienced by her loved ones and if so does she care to testify to that.

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She doesn't see what good an apology would do her. She hasn't been in touch with her loved ones since she died so she can't say exactly how distressed they were, but she was pretty darn distressed.

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They are planning to schedule a parole hearing for thirty Years and sentence her to be constrained from being around people who are murderable in the meantime. It seems appropriate to prohibit her access to the book but they can't think of a humane way to do that.

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How do they constrain her like that?

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"The easiest way would be to summon her under a binding that prohibits ever leaving Hell, and then sending her back there, but if she declines to cooperate with that there's a planet where she has been contained for trial and can remain."

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"...so it's basically the same as before you tried her?"

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"The aim is preventing her from doing it again. You would feel more reassured at a sentence more disruptive to her life?"

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"She disrupted my life and I'm never getting it back! Over a book!"

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Nod. "We'll take that into account. Thanks for your time. Is there anything else we can do for you?"

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"As long as I've left Heaven anyway can you just drop me off with my nephew for a week before sending me back?"

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"We'd be happy to, but it's ten days' travel there from here, the portal's halfway across the galaxy. Can we write our staff there and have them summon you?"

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"Um, okay."

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They send her home and do that.

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He has someone draw her a circle.

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Here she is.

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They will also summon a fairy and take her to meet her nephew.

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Her nephew is confused. But he lets her in.

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"Write me when you want to go home," the Elf says brightly, and leaves.

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Minor receives an email.

Your vlog has now been connected with at least one teen suicide as a result of your false claim that people become daeva when they die. We did not at the time have suicide-baiting as a circling offense. This has been changed effective immediately. We recommend deleting the offending videos from your server. You will not be held liable for deaths of people who obtained your past material only through secondhand sources.

Do not reply to this email.

Helene Leclerc
Ganymede Circle Police

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 - who are they talking about -

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He can't conjure directly off what's in the note, but he can find it in the news: a girl in India.

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- and where is she now -

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Heaven!

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He draws a circle for her. He finds his nearest interruptible brother (Aaron, as it happens), pulls him over to finish it.

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She shows up in dark brown wings with a touch of sparkle and all-over henna-like designs.

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"Hi!!!"

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"Oh wow! Hi Minor! I'm Arati!"

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"Hi!!! Are you okay - I feel responsible, considering -"

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"Oh I'm fine, it's really nice in Heaven, everything's so bright and clean and the angels have been really nice!"

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"I bet they are, yeah. Can I get you anything? Do you want to go on the show?"

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"Oh gosh could I? I would love to."

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I'm going to need a lawyer, he writes Timothy, and then bounces over to his camera setup, turns everything on -

"Hey everybody! I have a special guest today, this is Arati! She died last week in India and now she's an angel!  - please remember that only summoners become daeva when they die. Arati, what's Heaven like?"

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"Hi everybody!" says Arati, waving. "It's really bright, all the time, it's made of this glowy fluffy stuff and I landed in a big pocket with tons of it shining down. Most of the angels speak a neat angel language but I found some who know English and they've been showing me around! I was sorta hoping I'd be a fairy but this is good too, even though learning to fly turns out to be hard."

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"We should race once you think you've got it down! Know any phrases in angel language for us?"

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"Uh, I can say 'I'm lost, do you know anyone who speaks English'! Ao-zaha, mynn English ia ke lerape?"

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He giggles and repeats after her.

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"And I know 'thank you', it's ziazi, but that's all."

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"How about your magic? Is it easy to learn to use? Want to change something for us?"

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"I did all my designs!" she says, gesturing at her arms. "It's easier and less messy than henna and even less commitment, watch -" She turns some flowers into swirls.

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"Cool! Have you thought about taking summons?"

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"I took this one! I was expecting it to be my brother but it was your brother instead. I'm not sure about taking general ones, I don't know how to do anything cool yet."

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And more friendly questions, which they open up to viewers after a little while.

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People want to know how she died and she says she actually got a demon she summoned to do it, he took some convincing but eventually did, she found the circle that allowed it on pir2.net, she still thinks her brother will summon her eventually, she likes her results but doesn't recommend it unless you're positive you never want kids and were kind of mostly done with whatever you were doing with your life at the time, no she isn't really planning on medical angeling...

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(He quietly checks whether the demon is now wanted by the GCP -)

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(No, because they already caught him.)

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He writes Maitimo a note. There's an innocent person on Ganymede again get them out. And the explanation -

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- yeah, that one the Elves'll cover an attorney for. Is Silva still on medical leave -

Permalink Mark Unread

Yeah, she seems pretty sick.

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 - does she want a whitemage.

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Uh, she wouldn't turn one down.

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" - hey, Cir, who should I talk to -"

Permalink Mark Unread

Cir can recommend whitemages. The whitemages who have benefited from Vala assistance are particularly willing to help.

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Then he can pay for one of those to take a trip into Milliways and into Forks, Washington where Cam's old house is now owned by them and then to Mars.

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And Silva is feeling better now. Defending rights of demons to perform assisted suicides? Doesn't help that the ostensible victim is underage but it helps a lot that she's available to chirpily testify that she asked nicely and enlisted help because she didn't want it to hurt. She'll get on that.

Permalink Mark Unread

They appreciate it.

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Soon someone else is going to try it and then it'll be a bad idea for Minor to take summons; he checks that he's not under arrest already.

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Not yet, no. He does get an email confirming that if anyone else tries suiciding on the basis of his latest video he will be.

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He replies to the email saying he has retained a defense attorney and future communications should go through her. 


He takes summonses while it's safe.

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The specific circles that are out for him are a mix of friendly and unfriendly. The randoms mostly land him with orcs, and twice in Godspring for infrastructure and food supply work.

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Who's putting out unfriendly specific summons for him?

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Lecturey crochet lady, somebody in Antarctica's research base, and a cult in Canada.

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Are the latter two designed in such a way that if he mastered a nonverbal Accio he could cast it -

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Antarctica's prevents that in practice on the grounds of affecting things outside his circle; the cult's is handwritten and probably allows it.

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Can't risk it, then. Darn. He takes randoms until there're new ones.

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Dwarves, Godspring, Dwarves, Mars, orcs, Earth, Earth, Dwarves... Antarctica circle is gone now.

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He writes Timothy a note and he makes himself two hundred flashcards with words and phrases he might want to say and then he takes a specific summons.

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Lecturey lady! He is again gagged and lectured (this time about being a bad influence on depressed teenagers who just need sunshine and chocolate and somebody to talk to) and then given a book of glass art and told again to make something nice for his little girlfriend so she's not jealous of that pretty angel, now, hm.

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He uses the cards to spell 'thank you'. 

 

 

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"You're welcome, young man, run along now," and he's dismissed.

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Next one?

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TV show. Does he want a recurring role in Sesame Street Luna, they like his camera presence.

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"I'd love to, but the GCP recently outlawed telling the truth about ex-summoners becoming daeva and sent me letters threatening to arrest me for it, so I can't commit to taking recurring summons. I'm sorry. I can send you stuff remotely if you want occasional cameos."

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"They... why'd they do that? I summoned my granddad and there he was just fine."

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"I have no idea! Lots of people have summoned their relatives, lots of people know it's true, they're not going to be able to keep it a secret forever. But - it's kind of weird that it's been a secret this long in the first place. Maybe they wanted it to stay one, for some reason? Anyway, they didn't tell me a reason, they just told me that there was a law against it now and unless I took down all my videos immediately they'd arrest me. It was weird. - I didn't take the videos down. People deserve to know. Aren't you glad you got to see your granddad?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"He was a sourpuss, actually, but I knew he summoned some folks."

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Giggle. "Okay. There's an afterlife for everyone else, too, just no way to reach it."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Granddad mentioned that. Pity they can't be summoned."

Permalink Mark Unread

"The Elves are working on some kind of plan with all their fancy dimensional portal tech."

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"Oh, good! Are you going to post about that?"

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"Sure am! I try to not do politics stuff every single video and I want to say something about the demon who got arrested for helping someone daevafy, but I'll probably do a video about it this week or next."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Cool. Email me if you have a chance to take a role."

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"Thanks."

Permalink Mark Unread

"No problem! Good luck out there!"

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"Thanks!" 

 

And another one -

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Kid about his age in South Africa. "Hey," he says. "I want to be a daeva."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Well, now someday you will."

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"I mean like now."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Oh. 

 

Uh, there are a lot of good reasons to wait. If you want to have kids someday, if you want to be able to travel freely in this star system, if you want your full legal rights should you ever be accused of a crime..."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Seems to be working fine for you."

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"My family has a lot of resources. If they hadn't noticed I was missing I'd be in a storeroom on Luna for the next decade. If they'd noticed but hadn't been able to have a demon find me and go to Luna and file a complaint with the police, same. Or if they'd filed a complaint but the people who hid me had been more competent -"  - if Timothy hadn't been willing to work outside the law once it wasn't going to help me fast enough, he doesn't add -

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"So I won't take summonses. Nobody I need to see."

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"But that'd leave me in a bit of a pickle at the murder trial."

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"All right, I'll show up, what do you want?"

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"Uh, do you mind if I record this conversation?"

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"Why do you want to -?"

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"Murder trial. The demon who helped Arati become an angel is bound and gagged in Ganymede, and Ganymede's insisting that the angel is just someone impersonating her."

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"Oh. Yeah, you can record it."

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Tiny camera. "I'm recording this conversation," he says once it's on. "Look, is wanting-to-die something that could maybe be fixed with enough money, a better place to live, access to medication or whatever - there's a spell in my world called the Cheering Charm that helps if the problem is being sad..."

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"...better place to live like where -"

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" - uh, you could come with me to the magic interdimensional bar where we're handling all the multiverse stuff? It's where I stream from and everyone there's pretty cool and there are a fair few people our age, between one thing and another. You could meet Elves. The bar accepts counterfeit currency - like, it's not 'doesn't notice', it's 'doesn't mind, because magic' so I can just give you a billion dollars of fake money for a room and food and stuff."

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"Rather be tried for kidnapping, huh?"

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"I'd rather you not do something permanent until you're sure it's what you want. If in six months you're like 'nope, still want to be a daeva right now' then I'll do it, but it's a big step - I wish I'd gotten to choose -"

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"All right, I'll try your thing."

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"Cool." Recording off. "For a task you can have me make you a safe circle for a fairy and payment for the fairy and then they'll take us to the secret entrance to Milliways - lemme write Milliways so I can make sure it's open - in exchange for, dunno, tell me your favorite movie." Cam please get the door -

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Get it to where? replies Cam.

"Minogue's Atlas," says the summoner.

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Revelation. "Cool!" Circle for a fairy, almost complete. "Can I get rid of mine -"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Sure, why?" Marker finishes fairy circle.

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"Ganymede's going to come after me eventually but the longer they take the more good I can do in the meantime, 'a kid summoned that demon who has been telling people they daevafy when they die, then vanished' gets their attention but 'kid summons fairy, runs away from home' almost certainly doesn't...."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Yeah, all right."

A fairy appears after a few minutes' wait. "Damn, is this Earth?" she says.

"Uh. Yeah," says the kid.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Place we're going isn't, though. Somewhere you need to be?"

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"Nah, I just hear that the Dwarves are fun and I keep not getting 'em. What can I do for you?"

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"We need a ride to Forks, Washington from here."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Okay. Where's here and what's on offer?"

"Pretoria, South Africa. He'll make you stuff," the kid says.

"Not bad, all right."

And they go out of the house and into the sky and halfway round the world.

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The door opens awkwardly into Cam's bedroom but the Elves've remodelled around this. "What do you want?"

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The fairy wants some historical models and "oh hey, are you the people who can do the mini things?"

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"When I was human but you lose it when you daevafy. I can tell my brothers to look you up, they can still do it."

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"All right -" He spells his name and wants somewhat fewer historical models if he can get some of them in larger sizes later.

Permalink Mark Unread

He can have the historical models he wants. And then he can go up to Bar and offer her a backpack with three million dollars in it and tell her it's for his summoner - "and you're all set. She recommends excellent food and drinks."

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"She?" says the summoner.

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"Bar is a person! She talks via napkins. We have been accused of just having a demon and angel hidden in the rafters but it's actually Bar, promise." - Ganymede looking for him yet?

Permalink Mark Unread

Yep.

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"And it looks like I shouldn't go home so I'll just stay on this summons, I think. Lemme introduce you to Timothy. Uh, what's your name?" 

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"Kananelo."

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Timothy's with Cam so not hard to find. "Timothy, this is Kananelo, he's staying here now."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Nice to meet you! Here is rather the place to be - the only rules are 'no violence and no nudity in the main bar area' - I think we kind of had to make the multiverse scour its ranks for security that could take daeva, they're in that office over there, infirmary's that way, most people conjure their mail so you can write them - and me in particular - any time if you need anything. Minor, another person committed suicide, Ganymede's looking for you -"

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"Yeah I saw. I have a plan but I won't do it until Silva gets the other guy acquitted if there's any chance it'll distract from that and I think it might."

Permalink Mark Unread

" - anyway, Kananelo, welcome. Everyone here has a lot of magic and is in general very willing to use it to do things so if you need or idly want anything please do ask for it."

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"Uh," says Kananelo, "okay. Thanks."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Did you claim your free drink? Bar is magic at drinks. And magic generally, I suppose, but the drinks merit a special mention."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I haven't yet, no."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Anything else I can do for you?"

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"I... don't think so?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Okay. Right over here if that changes. Nice to meet you."

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"...you too."

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Minor sits down and looks up the person Ganymede's all upset about.

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Eighteen year old in Austria, cut herself and bled out. She's a fairy now. She didn't leave a note but she was known to have watched his channel.

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Well at least there's not another daeva to defend at trial. He puts out a circle for her.

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She doesn't answer.

Permalink Mark Unread

Well, hopefully she's happy. Did the GCP email him (or his attorney, he can catch that too) or just put out the circles?

Permalink Mark Unread

Just circles.

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Are their internal communications all chiplocked?

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Or "come see me earliest convenience", yes.

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He makes the circle they have for him and starts reading through it.

Permalink Mark Unread

Standard GCP demon binding. Same as Cam's.

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Yes yes yes he has a plan. Which he promised not to act on until the trial was over for the poor demon who participated in the assisted suicide, when's that scheduled?

Permalink Mark Unread

In two days.

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Minor makes videos. Building a bigger pasture for the dragons. Sneak peak at the next project out of Hazel, unicorns. And the video about the innocent demon facing a murder trial for helping Arati daevafy, unable to even talk in his own defense.

Permalink Mark Unread

His commenters point out that he'll be allowed to write.

Permalink Mark Unread

"There's a reason that human defendants aren't gagged for their trials and forced to write. You all must have noticed how sometimes misunderstandings happen over the internet where they wouldn't in person because speech is just so much more expressive."

Permalink Mark Unread

He can also make facial expressions.

Permalink Mark Unread

"It's not the same, trust me, I've been gagged. Tone matters, and communicating in a medium you're comfortable with matters. They would never gag human defendants. If some place did, everyone else would consider it a human rights violation."

Permalink Mark Unread

Someone thinks that the GCP of all people would probably know if it were really untrue that demons can take souls.

Permalink Mark Unread

"How? They never let us talk, or talk to us."

Permalink Mark Unread

They must sometimes under controlled conditions, everyone assumes.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Everyone assumes wrong. The Elves found out about people daevafying when they die within like a week because Elves talk to us. The entire population of Godspring has now summoned a daeva because they got confirmation and then took the implications seriously. This world has a prejudice which it has permitted to blind it for a very long time."

Permalink Mark Unread

It seems really implausible that nobody would've noticed.

Permalink Mark Unread

"People noticed! People said things! And we weren't believed, we weren't taken seriously, we weren't trusted! Any of you can summon a demon and ask for the posthumous works of William Shakespeare, any of you can confirm this in your own living room - though use the bindings linked on this site, or other comparably trustworthy ones, summoning without adequate bindings really is dangerous."

Permalink Mark Unread

William Shakespeare was a summoner?!

Permalink Mark Unread

"There's still an afterlife for nonsummoners, they just don't get any powers. But William Shakespeare is still around writing plays, yeah, I've read the ones after he died and some of them are excellent."

Permalink Mark Unread

After some delay his comments section turns into Love's Labors Won Discourse.

Permalink Mark Unread

Eh, he can live with that.

 

 

He alternates impatiently pacing and impatiently flying and annotating the GCP's demon binding until the trial.

Permalink Mark Unread

Silva's argument, in contrast to her last demon defense, affirms the right to suicide and identifies daeva as among the instruments expressly permitted for this purpose rather than making much of the demon's personhood. Arati shows up to testify but the judge declines to let her, believing her to be an impostor. The prosecution focuses mostly on how young she was, but Silva manages to argue that this means that Arati violated the law and that the demon was no more obliged to ask for her ID than a bottle of pills would have been. The demon gets six weeks and will be sent home after that.

Permalink Mark Unread

"So," he says to assembled wizards and witches and Bells that evening in Milliways, "I want to sneak invisibly into Ganymede and make six ink blotches on this binding that in effect invalidate it, for every circle, and then I want to answer them. Because I am annoyed with them."

Permalink Mark Unread

"What are you planning to do? They'll just send you home once they notice -"

Permalink Mark Unread

"I wasn't planning to be immediately conspicuous about it. And when they send me home I'll do it again until they give up."

Permalink Mark Unread

"If you panic them they'll kill your summoner to give you less time to operate."

Permalink Mark Unread

"They're lying to the entire population. And using that lie to conduct trials in which the major witnesses are barred from testifying on unchallengeable grounds of being an imposter."

Permalink Mark Unread

"How do you propose to fix that by making them need the hazard pay they give their summoners?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Summon them back and invite them on the show? I don't want anyone to die and I won't endeavor to panic them but they cannot continue operating as any kind of legal authority while running charade trials built on a lie that by now they know is one."

Permalink Mark Unread

"How sure are you that they know?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Takes ten seconds to verify and even if they hadn't done it for some reason Maitimo outright told them."

Permalink Mark Unread

"He could've told them anything, from their perspective."

Permalink Mark Unread

"If they don't know by now they are culpably ignorant."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Who is, whoever filled in your circles?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Whoever decided I should spend a human lifetime in prison for saying it."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Why answer the circle, why not just show up?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"That also seems likely to involve them shooting random people in a panic, or that's what you said last time I was there. They can always fall back on the shooting innocent people in a panic thing, see."

Permalink Mark Unread

"There's a better chance they won't shoot anyone if they don't know who to shoot."

Permalink Mark Unread

"If I go there not just unbound but not on a summons, walk from Hell into Milliways and then out - would they be able to see that -"

Permalink Mark Unread

"They'd at least not see anything they're used to seeing. You're really gonna feel the circles, though, in that quantity it's worse than I'd previously anticipated, I'm not sure how long I would've held out even if I hadn't been trying to get a friendly circle."

Permalink Mark Unread

Shiver. "I can go unbound and tell them as soon as I arrive that my summoner is in another dimension."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Okay. And then what."

Permalink Mark Unread

"And then say that I'm turning myself in to answer the charges against me, obviously."

Permalink Mark Unread

 

"That wasn't obvious."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I want to prove them wrong with their whole world watching. But I can't do it if I can't make things and I can't talk."

Permalink Mark Unread

"The trials are not very popular viewing. I guess you could attract more."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Oh, I have a plan for that part. My streams attract twenty million people sometimes now."

Permalink Mark Unread

"From your audience, which is already taking you seriously."

Permalink Mark Unread

"And from people who just want drama, or are curious."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Fair enough. They may just tell you that if you're turning yourself in you should take one of their circles though."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Summoner's irretrievable, can't get myself dismissed, terribly sorry."

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" - actually you know what I think you should say? I think you should say that you object on principle to gags but you'll take their circles if they put out ones without gags. - you'd have to check they weren't just doing the gag part in light or in invisible ink or something, but -"

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"Ooooh. Bet they say no, they don't seem very - flexible and they are weirdly committed to suppressing this."

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"Give them time to check that your summoner's in fact irretrievable and in a different dimension, give them additional time to inform whoever they'd ordinarily inform that there's an unbound demon out and about - you'll need a fairy so they can't just drag you off into deep space - make sure everyone knows what is going on -

- and then do a publicity tour. Show up places, give people stuff. I expect after a while they'll decide they'd rather have an ungagged demon stuck on Ganymede than a totally loose one wandering the streets of London making people presents and complaining about the infringement of his free speech."

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"Your fairy's summoner will also have to be irretrievably in another dimension. You will want a plan to handle riots. I am not at all sure this is a good idea."

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"Then suggest a way to make them stop torturing people into showing up for show trials at which they'll have had the judge pre-rule against letting the defendants call daeva witnesses or talk about major facets of reality!!"

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"Accumulate enough credibility that people will take the don't-leave-your-realm summons from an immortal person just to make the Ganymede circles leave them alone?"

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"How long is that going to take and how many people are they going to hurt in the meantime."

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"The last time there was an unbound daeva running around for any length of time publicly acknowledged it was shortly post-furniture-angel and a hundred ninety-eight people died in various rioting. Ganymede doesn't have anywhere near that many."

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"So we need to make Revelation less fragile, not meticulously curtail our activities around their habit of murdering innocent people whenever they hear 'unbound daeva'."

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"Make Revelation less fragile then not meticulously etcetera."

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"Sure, I'm fine with that. I want to know why Ganymede is so committed to lying about this, what are they scared of -"

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"I have no idea. How do you know they know - everything makes sense if they really don't know -"

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"If they don't know they're so indescribably incompetent at forensics that every person in their custody deserves a retrial!"

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"So find out and have Silva sue them, that won't get anybody killed!"

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"If that's what's going on, instead of 'they're willing to ruin as many lives and imprison as many innocents as it takes to keep this secret', in which case I bet Silva gets dangerously ill again!"

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"I really do not think the GCP poisoned her. She's pushing seventy, she will sometimes get sick."

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"How could they possibly not know. Like, describe a way that could have happened, I can't even think of one."

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"Their forensics demon sabotaged them deliberately."

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"They don't use two? They don't have bindings to prevent that? Peoples' freedom is at stake -"

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"Bindings only forbid things, don't compel them. Even if they have two they could cooperate in Hell on their days off. And I bet you GCP forensics officers are just as prone as anyone else to getting used to the demon in the corner and ceasing to think of them as a threat."

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"Still think it seems more likely that they know and have a reason not to want it to get out."

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"Like what?"

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"The person in charge murdered or otherwise mistreated someone and doesn't want it to get out, they know it'll force retrials and want those criminals to stay in jail even if some ignorant judge concludes they're innocent, since there's no such thing as an innocent daeva, they just want to shut me down and think this is their best opening -"

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"I will concede the argument if the chairman of the GCP personally murdered someone, forensic away."

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"How? And - I save lives when I'm out there taking summons. That girl in Godspring who had no idea what daeva were would've been in trouble if she'd gotten someone bad, the New Guinea lady would have been in trouble most people she could've got, the kid who wanted to die, I've pointed out careless bindings to people -"

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"Yeah. I know that sort of thing happens, I keep track."

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"So sitting here and waiting for things to get resolved at Elf pace doesn't work for me."

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"I had really high hopes for getting them to accept the revised procedure where the daeva get to live at home but unfortunately it has inadequate credibility at this point."

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"And why is that?"

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"Are you hoping I'll blame the GCP, because I actually think it was inadequately telegraphed expectations and the Valar being weirdos. Well, Varda specifically, it's possible somebody else would not have been a weirdo."

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"I do actually think the GCP decided to pick a fight over pretty much nothing. They were told the prisoners could be arrested without taking a summons, that's what happened, they decided to complain about not having personally witnessed the prisoners accepting a circle and going back to Hell despite all of this happening in a different dimension. The procedural complaints the daeva's lawyers keep filing is the Valar's fault but the GCP made absolutely zero effort to make it work, concluded immediately it wasn't adequate - they didn't even propose any procedures given the new capabilities that they would regard as adequate, they just assumed a different species would work exactly like them and then declared the whole thing a failure as soon as it verifiably worked but in a way that didn't give them personally power over it. Unless you want to claim that their forensics demons coordinated to sabotage them there, too."

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"I don't think they did, I just think they could have. I don't think the GCP is conducting themselves particularly well and don't like that I'm finding myself feeling obliged to defend them to you because you hate them so much that you can't be remotely charitable."

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"If people want my charity they can avoid trying to torture me into surrendering to be gagged for a show trial for the crime of saying on the internet 'I died and became a demon'."

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Sigh.

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Minor makes a video.

 

"I was born in Hazel. Near London. I'm the fifth of seven; my parents wanted a big family. When I was thirteen years old I summoned a fairy, he murdered me, and I woke up in Hell. A week ago the GCP informed me that if I said those words to a camera ever again, they'd arrest me. Now they're trying. 

Their justification is that it's suicide-baiting. Humans who profess belief in an afterlife never get charged with suicide-baiting, of course, but I'm not human. You would think it also matters that I'm telling the truth, that I am telling a truth you can verify yourself right now with the circles on the sidebar, but apparently that doesn't matter to them either. These words are illegal for me to say.

But you, viewers? You are human. You have freedom of speech. Summoners become daeva when they die, and no one will gag you and throw you in jail for saying it. I don't usually ask people to share my videos, seems tacky. But I think the only acceptable answer to censorship is to shout even louder. Share this. Say this. Verify this and then tell everyone you know. Summoners become daeva when they die and it's time that the whole world knew it."

The rest of the video is a walkthrough on various approaches to verification. Then he takes questions - "but we're doing it in a specific format today! Send me names of dead summoners you know and I'll check for you which daeva realm they're in. You can try to trick me - naming dead people you know who weren't summoners, giving names that aren't people - and if I were making this up I'd get that wrong. Since I'm telling the truth, I won't."

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People try him. People want him to put their grandparents on camera, some of them.

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Angel, fairy, nope, fairy, fairy, demon, fairy, angel, angel, fairy, nope, fairy. He shows people the models he's making - "less the wings, does that look like they looked when younger? I can have Aaron draw circles for your grandparents but I can't guarantee they'll decide to say hello!" Circles are drawn.

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Some of them show up.

Somebody wants to know if this means Revelation is still around somewhere.

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"Yep! Everybody is still around somewhere."

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Okay but is Revelation a daeva, can he check, SUPPOSEDLY Revelation was really anonymous but SUPPOSEDLY people were dead when they died, so Minor is invited to blow this commenter's mind AGAIN.

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"Can't conjure off something like 'Revelation' or people'd have found them ages ago. He or she wasn't the author of the textbook released, either. Maybe they'll choose to come forward and if they did that we could verify it by looking at the complete editing works of the person claiming to be Revelation, but I don't know that they'd choose to do that."

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More people's ancestors.

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Nope fairy demon demon fairy nope fairy fairy angel nope fairy angel fairy fairy demon. He keeps going even when the ground around him gets fairly littered with miniatures. Someone's grandma is an angel, and Aaron quietly asks if she'd mind cleaning it up.

 

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She doesn't mind. Which grandchild was it? She has twelve. "I'm going to assume that 'orangeorangetangerine' is one of Julie's but I don't know which," she says, squinting at the screenname. Orangeorangetangerine says that actually she's one of Todd's. "Well that's just silly. If you're going to have citrus themed screen names you should be from the Florida bunch." California, says orangeorangetangerine. "Then I bet it's Elise." Yep.

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Awwwwwwww.  

 

 

Minor announces that the stream is over but people can continue to chat with their grandparents as much as they want. 

 

 

He asks a grandparent to open the door for him.

He asks Aaron for a fairy.

He asks the fairy for a ride to Singapore, please.

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"Where in Singapore?"

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The address of the GCP offices there.

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"I'm gonna need a map. And I want an extranet crawler dump for it."

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He can provide both.

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Zoom! Singapore!

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Where Minor will thank the fairy (and write Aaron to send him home) and go invisible and walk inside.

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The GCP headquarters is fairly small and in an office building it shares with other things. It is on floor 17. Ganymede itself is just the prison and empty space to put down circles.

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The elevator opens on floor 17; no one appears to get out.

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The no one in these quiet offices will be alarmed.

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What are they doing?

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Most of them have their doors closed. Ones with open doors include someone who's on the phone with a police department (he can't hear the police; headphones) and someone who's working on a press release.

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On?

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The recently acquitted assisted-suicide demon. The GCP will continue to attempt arrest of any daeva in similar situations, since it would be easy for even a forensically written-by-ostensible-author suicide note to be produced under duress, and will attempt to establish whether the suicide was in fact voluntary, but given this judicial precedent they will no longer pursue murder charges if they are satisfied that it was so.

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He'll compose a notice for an Earth-focused newspaper in Hell that given this policy, demons willing to assist suicides should request permission to record the conversation.

 

And he'll hang out quietly and periodically check views on the video and wait for anything interesting to happen.

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There are plenty of views on the video, but he doesn't have a way to tell if any of them are coming from Singapore unless he wants to directly sniff their packets.

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He's not sure how. He'll sneak into a room the next time the door opens enough, instead. 

 

(He should start learning Apparition early, since the major risks don't apply.)

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Next time someone leaves their office for fresh air, he can see that one of their tabs is open to his channel.

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In sneaks invisible demon.

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The person comes back, shuts the door, and sits down. They play some Tetris and check their email.

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Nefarious conspiracies where he's from look it a little more. He waits patiently.

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They have a lot of email. They also manage the GCP's Shortform acccount, apparently. (1/2) We greatly regret to hear of the accident in Topeka. However, angelic (2/2) medical error is not a circling offense unless a credential is falsfied

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It's possible not everyone is even in on it.

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(1/2) Happy International Fairy Appreciation Day! Remember to always (2/2) observe standard safety precautions even around routine trips.

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...does he reply if asked on Shortform true that GCP arrests daeva for claiming there's an afterlife?

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The employee's computer dings. They go look at the message and reply False; see for example @ArchGabe of Deseret Ministries

(@ArchGabe replies Families are forever!)

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is Minor Way under arrest then what for

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The response is a link to the GCP press release about the Austrian girl's death. It includes a picture of her sobbing parents, and the paragraph, The Ganymede Circle Police have placed a warrant for the arrest of demon "Minor Finis Way" whose vlog (formerly CineMe, now independently hosted) Pichler frequently watched. It is believed that this channel's insistence that summoners become daeva upon death led her to take her own life. The encouragement to suicide is forbidden by all Terrestrial law even since the right to suicide was established. At time of release the circles remained unanswered.

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...he makes an account in his own name and replies. She's a fairy. Sorry parents sad but not their call, hers.

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@ArchGabe seems to think he's invited to the conversation now and replies God's plan is never suicide!

The GCP account doesn't reply.

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don't think kids should daevafy on purpose but don't want to achieve that by lying to them

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GCP employee is playing Tetris.

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Invisible demon is patient.

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GCP employee checks email again. Calls their wife; dinner is deep fried dumplings.

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He figures he'll try for a couple days and if they have no conversations indicating why the coverup he'll go back to videos.

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The GCP employee goes and watches his channel! They scroll through the comments, frowning.

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The employee goes and knocks on another door. They are let in.

"What's up?"

"The angel with all the fake henna, can we raise her?"

"No, we think she's on summon."

"...where, with that poor kid's family?"

"Probably. We aren't authorized to pester them about it though."

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"Is anybody authorized? Where did it even find an angel who wanted to pretend to be a sixteen year old Indian girl?"

"I don't know. Can you cool it with the 'it', fuck official policy it's confusing if you're talking about more than one."

"Fine, where did he find her."

"Heaven, I assume."

"Are you in a bad mood over your boyfriend again?"

"Go away."

They go away.

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So he doesn't know. He positions his computer more definitely out of sight and answers text questions in the comments on his page.

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The employee answers Shortform questions about unrelated things and then goes and looks at his comments and frowns at them in real time.

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He'll sort more people live tomorrow! It's possible that this commenter's dad doesn't want to take a summons because he's nervous about them; after all, some summoners are awful, and he might not know that his kids would be looking. Minor can pay another fairy to go take him a message tomorrow, what should the message say?

Aaron'll be on again tonight summoning peoples' relatives for them! If anyone has a chiplocked computer for a dead loved one, they can give Minor sufficiently specific instructions and then the daeva of them can demonstrate that they can still boot up the computer!

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Most people don't keep those computers around but one person has a recently dead aunt and has her computer.

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Does he want Minor to come get it or just make a duplicate?

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Well, the really impressive thing would be if Minor came to her house, summoned the aunt outside of it, and the aunt demonstrated that she could still turn on all the electronics.

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Sure, he can do that this afternoon, though he can't promise the aunt'll answer her summons. Where is she?

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Christchurch.

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He'll fly on over! (Is bureaucrat reading this?)

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Yes. They call the Christchurch police department.

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 - to say -

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He can only hear the GCP end, but:

"Hello, this is James Wei, Ganymede Circle Police."

"We have reason to expect that a daeva resisting arrest may be in your jurisdiction soon."

"No, not a violent crime."

"Minor Finis Way."

"Suicide-baiting via vlog."

"Please don't laugh, sir, at least two children are already dead."

The address of the nephew -

"We don't recommend confronting it. However, it might be with its summoner. If someone who knows parlor tricks were present to check -"

"That sounds about right, thank you."

"No trouble at all."

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Charming. 

 

 

What's the easiest non-fairy way to get to New Zealand from here?

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If he doesn't want to fetch a brother to summon his own fairy he could get in a commercial transport and be carried by a shared fairy with lots of other people.

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- wings off (he Vanishes them, less gross than cutting them), outfit changed to whatever the locals are wearing, hair light brown and cut differently - 

 

This teenager goes to New Zealand.

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Oh look the New Zealand border authority screens for daeva better hide before he is squinted at!

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He goes invisible. Some people blink confusedly.

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This will save him from squinting!

More local transit is trains. Here is a train to Christchurch.

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Invisible demon fixes his hair and wings. And conjures (in hands covered with Disillusioned fabric) for badges or identifiers of the local police.

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The Christchurch police department, when in uniform, wears thus and such.

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And are there any of them in the vicinity of the address - for that matter are there any guns at all near the address -

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There are no uniforms and two guns within two blocks of the address.

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He'll knock invisibly on the door.

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And the door opens.

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"Hi," he says out of thin air. "This is Minor. I'm using fancy extradimensional stuff again, sorry."

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"Oh wow. Uh. Why."

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"So people wouldn't panic about an unaccompanied demon."

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"Why didn't you just bring your brother with you?"

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"GCP instructed local police to shoot them so they can arrest me."

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"They did? What? Oh my god, they want you bad enough to kill your brother?"

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"Yeah. I think because they think I'm lying about the summoning thing, I hope once they realize I'm not they'll calm down."

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"Well, you can do the thing with my aunt in the back yard if you want."

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"I do. Thanks. Can I get you anything while I'm here?"

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He goes around to the backyard. "I really should've expected you to ask that, huh?"

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"She might not answer very fast, you've got time to think of something." He goes visible. "Do you have a circle or do you want me to put one down?"

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"I printed one off the internet. My aunt would be so disappointed if I used one you made for me, no offense." He nips into the house to grab it and roll it out.

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"None taken. Want this on camera? Shouldn't livestream it in case that inspires the police to show up but we can record it for later."

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"Uh, I don't super want the police showing up at my house later either."

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"Yeah, fair."

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He double-checks his aunt's name and then finishes the circle.

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And Minor checks for police periodically and waits.

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The police do not approach.

The aunt, a demon, appears. She recognizes her nephew and they start chattering in a language Minor doesn't have yet.

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Awwww. And aunt can still use all her electronics, right?

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Yup!

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"Nice meeting you! Take care!"

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"Thanks!"

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He wants to spend another day at the GCP to find out who's telling them that he's lying, but they won't be at work now; he can fly back the slow way. He does that.

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It is a long boring oversea flight.

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Less boring if you can patch the lack of internet by conjuring things! Aaron's streaming with more dead relative reunions.

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And much later: Singapore!

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Where he magicks a window open and goes back to spying. 

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There continues to be actually no indication that anyone in this office is aware that there is really such a thing as ex-human daeva.

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That's sort of encouraging, it means that there might just be a couple people who are in the know. Where are the GCP's forensics demons located anyway?

 

(He continues answering streaming questions. He messages the GCP a couple times on their various accounts - I want to present the evidence for ex-human daeva to you, how can I do that?)

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"Hey James?"

"Yeah?"

"The vlog demon found my personal Foodie Hub account."

"Policy is still no-contact. Block it or something."

"I'm not sure Foodie Hub has a block function."

"Everything has a block function."

It does. Minor is blocked.

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What if Aaron messages them?

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GCP internal forensics has disconfirmed this claim. Please remember that videos are easily faked and stay safe.

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...I didn't learn this from the videos, I learned this from watching my brother die. What internal forensics did you do?

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We retain some demons for evidence gathering and solicited items they should have been able to provide if the claim had any merit.

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So are you saying that the demon who looks exactly like my little brother isn't him? 

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That's the conclusion we're forced to come to, yes. Please be careful.

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How am I supposed to do that?? What should I do?

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Use conventional bindings if you summon the demon, make sure the rest of your family knows, definitely don't commit suicide, don't abet attempts to spread the idea that that would be a good idea.

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I'll tell our parents but I need more than 'we asked demons for things that would confirm it and they didn't produce anything' since demons can just decide not to produce things. Did you also check things like whether the demon existed before my brother died, whether my brother's complete works include anything after he died, that thing he did with the posthumous works of Shakespeare -

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The forensics office is good at what they do.

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I just summoned a demon and asked for the complete published works of my younger brother Minor, using the binding attached, and what she gave me is also attached.

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Our bindings expert indicates that this should be impossible.

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Do you want me to come down to Singapore and do it in front of you?

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What's your interest in doing so?

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Either a demon is impersonating my brother and we should get him dismissed right away because this binding isn't safe or my brother is innocent and if we dismiss him will be facing murder charges when he's telling the truth!!! It seems really important to figure out which one!!

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If you have a demon summoned under an unsafe binding you must dismiss it immediately! More lives than yours may be at stake! If the demon is innocent the trial will show that!

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He usually goes around unbound and I'm not his summoner. 

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Where is the summoner? We can dispatch agents to convince them to dismiss it.

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The summoner is in Hazel. You really don't need to worry about it, he's been summoned totally unbound a couple times and he was excruciatingly responsible about it, your forensics can confirm that.

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We can't discount the possibility that it's trying to secure an opportunity it hasn't had yet.

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I know. That's why it's really important to know if he's lying. And I have a computer in front of me that says he's not, and I want to come to Singapore and compare notes so we can figure out who got it wrong. But I won't come if you're going to shoot me, I'm not his summoner.

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All armed GCP agents are capable of binding-checking parlor tricks. If you do not have an unsafe summons active you will be in no danger.

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If they don't get overeager. I'll head over. Where should I meet you.

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If you can get here during my lunch break I will be at the Olympian Diner.

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He summons a fairy and takes a circle for a demon and some Polyjuice. 

 

He finds the diner. 

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There is someone there eating Martian fusion who nods at him.

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He sits down. "Hi. Thanks."

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Sigh. "You're welcome. Want a coxinha?"

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"- okay?"

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It's a food, some kind of dough full of meat. It's pretty good. "So what exactly do you propose to do?"

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"Same thing I did this morning, ask a demon under the binding I sent you for the complete works of my little brother, see if the vlog stuff is in there. And it will be, 'cause I just did that this morning. And then - I don't want to be accusatory or anything but I think someone has to be lying to you and I want to figure out who and why."

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"All right. Let me see your circle."

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He hands it over. It's the same one as the one he attached in an earlier email. No gag, otherwise perfectly safe.

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"Missing the gag."

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"I don't have a soul, it's okay."

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"...you don't have - what, have you already sold it -?"

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"Nah, never had one to begin with, it's this weird birth defect that shows up sometimes on Hazel."

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"Well, I have mine and I want to keep it."

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"I can't agree for you, right? And you can shoot me if I seem likely to be talked into snapping the binding or something, right?"

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"I'd rather not shoot you in a diner, or at all really, plus it seems pretty plausible that you're working for demons for some reason and wouldn't telegraph it if you were going to snap it."

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Sigh. "If I were working for demons I could do that even with the gag, couldn't I?"

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"If you actually snap it I'll have fewer qualms about shooting you and if there's a gag you won't be convinced to if you didn't already plan on it."

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"I have summoned upwards of a hundred demons ungagged and I assure you I have never been even vaguely tempted. If they were presently torturing my whole family and promised to stop and I couldn't dismiss them for some reason I still would not be tempted. I am not insane and I do not take risks lightly."

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"I am not going to dispense with any standard safety precaution on the word of a teenage boy. I am indulging you, on my lunch break, because you seemed like you might have something to show me, but if all you have to say is a rehash of the tirade about gags I'm wasting my time."

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He pulls the circle back towards him and completes it.

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No immediate response. The GCP guy seizes it off the ground.

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"Do you have a gagged one on hand?"

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"Yes." Sigh. He pulls one out of his bag. "What were you going to pay it with?"

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Flask. "This is called Polyjuice, this contains three servings. Most of them know what it is. If this one doesn't I will elaborate at that time."

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"All right..." He spreads out the circle.

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He folds his arms and waits.

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"May I offer it your 'Polyjuice' even if you don't personally summon it?" the GCP guy asks.

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"Yeah, all yours for determining-if-my-brother-is-being-impersonated problems."

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Guy holds out his hand.

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He hands it to him.

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And he finishes the circle and waits for a demon. "Used to be instant," he mutters.

Eventually he gets a demon.

"I have been informed by this young man that this substance," flask, "is three doses of Polyjuice. Will you accept it in exchange for the complete published works of his younger brother Minor in standard chip form?"

She looks at the Polyjuice. She looks at Aaron.

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"I was going to summon you myself and offer but he snatched my circle because I won't do gags, if that helps -"

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Eyeroll. "Yes summoner."

The GCP guy places the flask partway over the border of her circle and nudges it in carefully with his foot. She picks it up, and makes a chip.

He dismisses her.

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"I see why Timothy refuses to do that," he comments. "Well?"

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The guy tucks it into his computer.

 


One of the dragon videos starts playing.

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The guy watches the entire dragon video.

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He will be patient. Learning that you have an afterlife and have been aggressively persecuting a teenager for no reason can be very overwhelming. He smirks at the wall.

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"Forensics checked."

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"Forensics told you they checked. Or were you there?"

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"I wasn't but Mica was, she's careful..."

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"See, the problem at this point is that the more I believe you that your colleagues are competent the more I have to conclude that they're lying."

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"I'll talk to Mica."

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"- okay. If this ends with you mysteriously dead in the night or something what should I do."

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"Summon me? I guess?"

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Nod.

 

 

"If Minor'd answered his summons, do you honestly think you'd have sorted it out and sent him home, or do you think someone would've confidently told the judge 'we checked, he's lying' and then kept a fourteen year old kid unable to talk for the next eighty years -"

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"The charge wasn't lying, it was encouragement to suicide, he might've been cleared even if the court determined his allegation was false if they thought he'd added enough disclaimers... it's still illegal to encourage people to commit suicide even if they turn into daeva. I can try to have it reviewed as a noncircling offense."

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"That would be useful. See, he doesn't object in principle to showing up, but the GCP has not so far demonstrated particular capacity to arrive at the correct conclusion on important questions, and that's something one looks for in people who want to try you."

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"Are there other questions I should be reexamining -?"

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"I mean, he's also telling the truth about the souls thing but that one I don't have handy forensic evidence on."

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"I'll play it safe on that then."

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"And daeva have basically human-range psychology and hobbies and so on and prefer the pronouns associated with their appearance in the case of every single one I've talked to and you could give the demons in Ganymede the option to select a preferred pronoun instead of being called 'it'."

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"...I can email the prison people but they don't have to listen to me."

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"Clearly not. But Minor's not going to show up to be tried by people who call him 'it' and keep him silenced so he can't correct them."

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"...criminal justice isn't really supposed to be optional."

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"When you have just courts other people are less motivated to help their loved ones evade it. When you have blindingly incompetent courts that do not recognize the personhood of their defendants or offer them humane conditions, you get people who don't want to subject their little brother to that."

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"People help their loved ones escape all the time with human defendants too."

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"Well, we'd encourage Minor to turn himself in if we thought you guys were competent enough to solve an eight-piece plastic puzzle and decent enough to let a fourteen-year-old attend school or write home or request to be called by his name."

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"I'm not prison staff, okay?"

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"Oh, we've said all this to them, too. I do think people are at least a little bit accountable for the work they enthusiastically defend on social media."

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"What do you want me to do, quit?"

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"If I found myself getting paychecks from your employers somehow I'd resign immediately. But I'm not the keeper of your conscience. And Timothy'd stay, try to make them better."

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"If I quit whatever ability I have to get them to listen to me evaporates and you have to convince somebody else to come out on their lunch break to entertain your hypothesis."

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"Point taken but you do realize that that is indicative of a system not very good at responding to evidence, right?"

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"The forensics is usually really good and I don't know what happened and you can stop being a twit about it any time now."

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"Sorry." He waves.

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It's Minor. He's not winged at the moment. "We going home?"

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"Unless you have somewhere else to be."

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...the GCP guy squints warily at him.

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He raises his hands. "Please don't shoot anybody my summoner's not here."

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"I think this isn't actually illegal, just - incredibly unsafe -"

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"Kid wanted me to kill him. And I can't go back to Hell and get a nicer one until my lawyer figures out how to settle the case in absentia for me."

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"...and you didn't kill him? I guess?"

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" - I mean, I asked him why he wanted to die, said there were interdimensional magic solutions if he was clinically depressed or something, and if he was in a bad home situation I could just take him to another dimension and give him a couple billion to start over with, and if he still felt that way about it in six months I'd do it but it's kind of amazing what living in a safe environment with cool people your age can do, and it's not irreversible like becoming a daeva is, and he'll get to spend forever as a daeva anyway. And he said sure he'd try it so he's in another dimension with a ton of money now and my brother's checking in on him to make sure he's happy and making friends and stuff and hopefully he'll be okay but if in six months he wants to die I'll do it, I gave my word."

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Nod.

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"Let's go home," he says to Aaron. Circle.

 

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He finishes it. "Let me know if you need anything."

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"All right."

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Off they go.

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Aaron gets an email. Mica says the demon could have faked a null result if it wanted to.

And another one: I haven't met the forensics demon I don't know if it's a male one or a female one or a nonbinary one or what.

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Could that've also been happening on evidence for trials -

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She says not. Those are taken more seriously.

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This one was going to lead to a trial, though.

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They might have redone it if he'd answered a circle.

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That's good to know. Thanks for your time.

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I emailed the prison people about the pronouns thing and they said the Pancelestial Fellowship of Gender Minorities got on their case for guessing and left them alone when they said 'okay, we'll just call them all "it" till otherwise specified' but this was a long time ago and I don't think the PFGM still exists so I told them maybe they could ignore that now.

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Or give them a way to otherwise specify. Thanks.

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Boss says it's too early to reconsider whether encouragement to suicide is a circling offense.

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Well, arrange for him to be able to go to school and write his family and I'm sure he'll happily show up.

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I probably can't get that to happen.

 

Mica retried the forensics with a different demon. She was curious so she gave the same wording and this one faked null too. I don't know why.

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That's interesting. Do you have names, we could grab them and offer better payments - what do you even pay demons with - 

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Kayanda and Nymi. We have an arts budget they can direct, they mostly spend it on music videos.

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He fetches Timothy. "Hey, the GCP's claiming that their forensics demons conspired to hide the fact people daevafy, want to summon them and ask?"

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"Yeah sure." He completes a circle for Kayanda.

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She takes a while to show up, but then she does. She looks confused.

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"Hi! - sorry, didn't mean to impersonate your regular or anything, I'll send you home if you want."

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"Yeah, I need to be there in ten."

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"Okay. Can I talk to you later?"

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"What, you wanna buy GCP gossip or something?"

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" - tempting now that you mention it but actually my little brother died and became a demon and then told people that happens and the GCP said he was lying and suicide-baiting and circled him for it -"

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She is imperfect at hiding her reaction, which is 'oh dang'.

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"And I was wondering if they'd even checked. But it's not urgent. I conjure my mail, write Timothy Way when you're free?"

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"Sure thing." She has no intention of ever doing that.

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Well, he's not going to keep her. Bye mysteriously dishonest forensics demon. 

 

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Bye!

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How about Nymi?

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Shows up more promptly. "Hi, do I know you?"

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"No, sorry, I'm Timothy. Nice to meet you. Uh, my little brother died and became a demon, and he told people that that happens, and the GCP said he was lying and suicide-baiting and circled him for it -"

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"Oh, is that what that was about."

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"So they did ask you? I'd wondered if they'd bothered checking at all or if they'd just lied for some reason."

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Sigh. "Yeah, they asked."

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"Why'd you lie?"

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"Kayanda really wanted me to for some reason. And like, fuck those guys."

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"Yeah, seriously. They got my boyfriend a while ago and what a - self-righteous bunch of incompetents treating interspecies relations as a problem best fixed by methods that would be inhumane to use to train your dog -"

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"I never got circled but they're not real charming coworkers either."

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"Do they do the it thing, I lost it at someone over the it thing."

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"Not to me, I don't know if they do it to Kayanda, she's never said."

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"Honestly you couldn't pay me enough to work with those people and I'm not a demon. - what do they pay you -"

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"Money, which they let us use to commission stuff. Not everybody takes commissions but a lot of people will if I save up enough."

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"Kayanda asked me to send her home, didn't want to talk about it. I - really want to know but I wasn't going to keep someone - do you have any idea why she wanted you to lie -"

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"I could guess? I just went along 'cause she bribed me, she got me to take the job in the first place."

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"Huh. What'd be your guess -"

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"I'm pretty sure her wife usedta be a human."

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" - thanks. Do you know her wife's name -"

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"Colleen but I don't know how she spells it formally, might not be able to summon her off that."

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"Probably won't summon her, that's kind of invasive, I more wanted to look up if she's a human who might not want the GCP to know she's now a demon - I won't tell, obviously, but we're kicking up a fight about how Minor's not lying so they might find out. We can shelter you guys if they get circling-level angry at you but doesn't quite seem like their style -"

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"I dunno, they might."

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"If they do write me - actually write Cam, he doesn't sleep -" he gives Cam's letterhead - "we'll get you out. Can I get you anything for your time?"

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"Like what?"

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"I'm from the world with the unconjurable magic potions and stuff - uh, I think there's a guide to them called Hazel magic of interest to daeva -"

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...she grabs it. "Huh. I'll take an animated figurine, can you do a quetzal?"

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"Can you make me a quetzal like you're imagining, and then I can animate it?"

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"Does it matter how big?"

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"It'll take me a while if it's larger, but any size you could take home with you's possible."

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So she makes a lifesize quetzal model.

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And after a little while he lets it go and it flutters around to settle on her shoulder. "Thanks so much. Take care."

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"You're welcome."

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Bye demon. Does Cam have enough to go off to look up Colleen-

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"Off a first name? Uh, I could probably find her but it'd be a pain and a half."

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"I can write Kayanda but she did not want to chat."

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"Is this worth twelve hours of my time."

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"Twelve hours? We know who she lives with, how many people in their house are there -"

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"If this is worth less than twelve hours then tell me it's worth ten minutes and I can try obvious things like that, yes, if you need to find her..."

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"Worth ten minutes, not worth twelve hours."

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"Okay." Cam conjures. "House didn't work they like architecture too much... buuuut they did a hall of records entry, very ex-human of her. What d'you need?"

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"A motive for her wife to have gotten a job as the GCP's forensics demon, coaxed a friend into taking another one, and then colluded to fail to produce evidence of an afterlife. So - notoriety as a human, maybe?"

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Conjure conjure. "Uh, drowned her toddler and killed herself in jail."

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" - well that'd do it."

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"Yes."

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"I'm going to write them and offer to shelter them from the GCP."

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"Because you want them to have to get different and perhaps more reliable forensics demons?"

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"It seems like a win-win, really."

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"Except for the toddler, who grew up in Limbo. Maybe he was one of the ones my mom raised."

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"I tentatively expect that child had a better childhood than they would have with mom who drowned them. Could've gotten unlucky, but." 

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"Parentally sure, I just think it would've been better if she left him at a safe surrender site and he had like, books and routine access to food and opportunities to look at plants sometimes? Limbo is drab in a way that I suspect is really bad for kids moreso than adults."

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"...safe surrender sites are a good idea. Should suggest that the dots be that, in Godspring, only people'll drop off wanted kids..."

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"Maybe wait a few months till some of the scarcity's alleviated."

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Nod. 

 

He writes Colleen and Kayanda and says that he heard they were worried about Ganymede and he had a workaround, they could be summoned to just outside a portal and then open the portal and go right back into Hell and by virtue of being technically on a summons can't get circled no matter what, which might be important because Ganymede just found out about ex-summoners daevafying.

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Colleen writes back and asks how Kayanda's supposed to tell their circle from her usual.

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Conjure it once I write it?

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Who are you?

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My boyfriend got circled and I really hate them.

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I'll talk to Kayanda when she gets home.

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Thanks.

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Kayanda works a thirteen hour shift and then shortly afterwards writes in: I'll go first and if you're not legit you're never getting Colleen.

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Okay. 

"Cam, can I have a stay-in-Hell for the two of them -"

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"Yup." Here they are.

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He finishes them.

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There's a pause and then Kayanda shows up.

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"Hi. Trade you paperclips and then the door's right there, should open to someplace familiar to you."

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...Kayanda makes a paperclip. Cam tosses her one of his own and she throws hers to Timothy.

The door opens to show Colleen, who is pacing. Kayanda goes through and hugs her and murmurs in her ear.

Colleen takes her circle and also performs a paperclip trade.

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And then they are both safe at home.

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Kayanda's wife was human, murdered her toddler, he writes the GCP guy once Timothy's confirmed they're safe. Took the job so she could cover for her, she was scared you'd arrest her. Her friend helped just because she hated you guys. 

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...well, now we have to find new forensics demons. I guess we would have had to do that anyway.

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Kind of. I think Hazel'd be amenable to helping you pay them better if you were to negotiate some kind of jurisdiction agreement with them.

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The time we tried that with the Elves it was a horrible communication failure, I don't think anybody on our end is in a hurry to try again soon.

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Okay. Good luck finding some better ones, then.

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Did they complain about the pay or something? They made like ten times what I do.

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I think their complaints were about their coworkers.

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We didn't even call them it! The first time somebody did it to Nymi she took her shirt off till they stopped.

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Imagine being unable to talk and having to resort to that to get people to stop misgendering you.

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No reply to that one.

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He suspects the GCP will have a harder time finding forensics demons now that there are places that don't gag them but it's really not his lookout.

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Minor makes more videos! Demon med school! Demon engineering school! Dragons!

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The GCP has a lot of trouble finding replacement forensics demons. They borrow regular police departments' demons for the time being.

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Poor GCP. It's terrible. Are they formally admitting that dead summoners become daeva yet?

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Not formally, but they've stopped contradicting it on the Internet. He's still under arrest though.

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He's still not going back to Hell. He does point out that they've stopped contradicting it - "which is good, because the coverup wasn't going to last much longer and it would have been terribly damaging to their credibility to keep insisting it was a lie decades after everyone believed it."

He emails the Sesame Street Luna guy to say he'll take a role if he can commute from Earth instead of taking summons for it.

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This doesn't technically make a difference to Sesame Street Luna but they're kind of eeeeeh on the encouraging suicide thing now that they have heard of it, like, three year olds watch this, can he stick to a script.

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He can, and also has never encouraged suicide, have they watched the videos?

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Yes, but they're funded principally by donations and can't really afford a controversy.

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Their call. Though if they take him on and get in trouble for it he can make up the lost donations and then some.

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They can't actually enforce that sort of promise on a demon unless he wants to put it in escrow but they're on the whole willing to trust him.

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Cool! He'll go to Luna for the show.

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They want to start him off not speaking lines for a few episodes to ease the kids into it but he will be doing cute helpful things like sneaking Cookie Monster some cookies and duplicating toys that are the subject of arguments between Muppets, then sneaking off going "shhhhh" at the camera. When he starts talking they have a little speech for him about how demons do all kinds of things to help people but nobody wants them to talk. Can he sing?

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...that's adorable. He can sing tolerably but not great.

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They can get him a vocal coach? They would also be willing to redo this song as a rhythmic spoken word piece.

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He'll try it and they can decide if they want to redo it or hire a coach or what.

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They decide his voice is adequate but they do want him to practice before they tape that episode.

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He is happy to!

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They provide their recording schedule.

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And he promises to be there.

 

He makes more videos. He tries to learn to Apparate; he doesn't get anywhere. He checks whether he's still under arrest. He checks the news for more suicides.

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Still under arrest. Three more, including an arguable case that might have been accidental but was suspiciously close to the kid's first summon.

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"So," he said, "I haven't actually talked at all about whether you should daevafy. That's mostly because people threatened to lock me up and I won't do things under threat, ever. It's really important to me that everyone know they can never, ever get anything they want by threatening me. But now that it's pretty obvious to the Ganymede Idiot Cops that threats seriously didn't work, I can say what I think, and what I think is that you should wait. I wish I was still human. I'd have rights. I could go out in public without worrying that some idiot would try to shoot me and kill innocent people. It would be universally agreed upon that I should be allowed to talk. You're going to get to be a daeva for the rest of forever, you don't have to start right now. If you're in a bad situation, write me and I'll try to fix it. If you have an abusive family, you won't have to go back to them. If you don't think you can do anything useful or cool or interesting with your life while you're still human - you're wrong. There are billions of worlds. There are some of them where, like, 'speaking English and being able to finish summoning circles and knowing what indoor plumbing is' would be super helpful. It's your choice. But if you care what I think, I think you should wait, and I'll give you whatever I can to help make waiting a better option."

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Next time he checks his circles are gone.

Then they start coming back.

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- weird. GCP internal politics? He goes to Singapore to spy on them.

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There are fewer people in the office than there were before. The remaining ones seem overworked. The one Aaron was writing is gone.

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- Aaron should write him again.

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Hey! My brother Michael's having a coming-of-age party, he said you're invited. Minor noticed his circles went away and then came back, do you know why?

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The summoner quit so they had to wreck them and get a different one to replace them. Why am I invited, I've never met your brother Michael.

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I told him you're cool.

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And here I thought you found me odious.

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I don't bother criticizing people who aren't worth it.

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Gee thanks. Anyway, I'll pass.

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Where're you working now?

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I'm not.

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Why?

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"Reorg".

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I didn't mean to get you in trouble.

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Mica got outright fired for leaving a forensics gap.

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I did in fact mean to get her in trouble, it was irresponsible to claim it'd been disproven off the evidence you had. 

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No answer.

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Not hard to guess why.

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Jake's trial takes a long time to wind through the courts; a war crimes approach doesn't suffice, but they end up constructing a similar legal approach to evaluating crimes committed in the pursuit of the destruction of unjust social institutions like slavery, forced migration, factory farming, concentration camps, and so on. The burden is on the defense to demonstrate that there was an ongoing atrocity, the atrocity was permitted under local law and the actor had no meaningful expectation of successful legal recourse, the actor selected targets for their value in ending the atrocity and took reasonable measures to reduce collateral damage, and the actor is able to testify that given nonviolent avenues of pursuing an end to the atrocity they would in the future take them.

Jake's lawyer delightedly demonstrates each point, at some length. He is acquitted; one Elf animal rights group gives him a medal.

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He's very pleased with his medal.

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Does the GCP still have circles out for him?

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Yup.

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Then the Elves'll offer him one, no binding at all, so he can go back to Fairyland without having to deal with them.

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They can't get the GCP to stop?

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They can communicate to the GCP that he was acquitted, here's the trial transcript and the three court decisions necessary for his lawyer to even have the opportunity to present this defense.

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...well, human courts do not accept this defense and it was humans he tortured to death and they regret giving his name to the Elves.

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A thing about justice systems, writes Ingwë, is that sometimes they do not deliver the result you personally find most emotionally satisfying. This is not a bug, it is a feature.

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The GCP is not seeking emotional satisfaction, and your people's persistent misunderstanding of our priorities is both condescending and a demonstration of the depth of the problem.

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Having acquitted the defendant our courts will endeavor to ensure he faces no further harassment.

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You don't have jurisdiction. You can't take criminals who harmed human beings and declare them innocent. If you don't care if demons hole your planets that's one thing but having determined you're incompetent to look out for the interests of human victims we find you unsuitable to try their attackers.

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We will keep that in mind should any situation arise in which your opinion of our suitability is relevant.

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Well, Jake's circles stay.

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Jake gets offered a circle with no binding so he can return to Fairyland unmolested.

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Cir's aunt Sirix shows up in Milliways stark naked with writing on her, is promptly locked up for violating the nudity rule, kills herself in the cell, is released to her family, and Cir informs Bright that Ingwë tries to start a war when Jake accidentally takes a new GCP circle.

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Jake is very emphatically warned not to do that and maybe Maitimo should spend more time at home making sure that Valinor is stably handling the transition into multiversal superpower because fuck.

 

Ingwë asks what he is supposed to do if people who are his concern are imprisoned by the human lunatics.

"I don't know. We should be careful to avoid that."

"Sure. But given that it had happened -"

"Wars are very terrible."

"I know that."

"I permitted slavery to go on in Godspring for sixteen months in order to prevent wars."

"Well, I would have advised you not to do that if I'd known you were doing it."

"I don't know if I should have done that. But anyone who thinks it's obvious either direction is not someone I can collaborate closely with on fixing everything."

"If Jake had tortured slavers to death, and in so doing ended slavery -"

"Then I imagine the courts in Revelation would see it your way, and be inspired to invent the same approach to law that we were inspired to invent. Unfortunately, the actual nature of the crime and of the trial contributes to the humans' xenophobia and they have something of a crippling problem with that. War would not fix it."

"We would have won."

"No one would have won."

"That's very poetic but it's not true at all. We would have won."

 

 

Bright decides to do more work at home; he appoints his Larya to the lead role in dot-related concerns on Godspring. 

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The president of Mars calls Maitimo.

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" - hello."

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"Maitimo! Look, can we talk? The GCP is up in arms about some jurisdiction problem."

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"Yes, I heard, I cleared my schedule. Should I drop by?"

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"I'd appreciate that!"

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So to Mars he goes.

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Where President Melo is delighted to meet with him. "Come in come in - I am so curious to hear how the entire mess with the daeva has gone from your perspective - would you prefer we take another walk for this?"

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"Oh, no, this I've nothing to say that isn't all over the news back home. What a mess. I couldn't possibly have concocted a defendant as sympathetic to my constituents as Celendra - did you hear about that case? - and since then it's been hard to salvage the confidence of my allies back home in the capacity of the GCP to deliver justice."

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"I heard the general outline, yes."

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"We were hoping at one point to develop a unified-across-the-multiverse way of handling crimes by daeva, so that no matter where they got into trouble - and often they hardly have any idea what jurisdiction they're in, really - they could expect the same reaction. That's not going to work, because I will never persuade our courts or my King to accept the gagging, the lack of an appeals process, the inability to hire their own attorneys, everything to do with the Way case...given that, the thing worth fighting for seems to be a noninterference policy, where we prosecute crimes against us and you prosecute crimes against you and Godspring and Hazel can eventually set up their own systems or start reporting problems to whichever extant organization they are most philosophically aligned with. Since there are still hundreds of circles out for Swan, who was distinctly in our jurisdiction and is currently serving a four hundred year sentence in our world, I can't persuade my allies that the GCP is interested in such a noninterference policy, and I think the Vanyar are now inclined to offer asylum and accountability under our law to anyone facing prosecution in a jurisdiction with procedures they consider inhumane."

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"That fairy they've been after for decades, though, that's not very noninterference policy."

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"That fairy they asked us to grab, as a trade for Cam, because they'd been looking for him for a century with no success. I am less than delighted with the court decision there but they're looking to precedent. Someone gets accidentally summoned to an Earth in 1941, goes and tortures Hitler and six of his top leadership to death, are we going to prosecute them?"

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"I think it would amount to a show trial if that, if they were just killed, but torture is..."

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Nod. "It was discussed at length in the trial transcripts, has anyone gotten you a good translation?"

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"One of my aides summarized it for me. It's an elegant argument, but it's not one anyone is eager to present to the surviving children of the victims."

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"I understand. It isn't the decision I would have handed down, but so it goes - there're a couple Elven jurisdictions where the monarchs do in fact wield relevantly absolute power but somehow I don't think that'd be any more popular. So there are a couple approaches we can take. One, I can have my staff put a ton of pressure on the Vanyar to abandon the idea of offering asylum to prisoners who they don't think will get a just hearing in the jurisdiction where they committed the crime. We are their biggest trading partner, with the wholehearted cooperation of the GCP I probably have the leverage to get that agreement.

The reason I haven't thrown my weight behind that solution is because I have a sinking feeling I know where it goes. Hazel announces in ten years that they're keeping wayward daeva in Azkaban - have you heard of it -"

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"No?"

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"Hazel has these things called Dementors. They're magical creatures, and they feed on positive emotions. Their effect on everyone in their presence is to make them incapable of experiencing happiness, and to slowly erase their joyful or peaceful memories until all they are left with is the worst moment of their life, experienced over and over again. Hazel used these creatures to staff their prisons, until recently, when a vigilante went around with a fairy and grabbed all the Dementors they could find and threw them into deep space. Azkaban was the largest such prison, with a few hundred Dementors and enough human staff to prevent the invariably suicidal occupants from starving or harming themselves in their cells."

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Melo frowns. "I feel like if the Elves believe Ganymede is inhumane there are better ways to express that than to develop new legal apparatus specifically to acquit someone who by his own admission committed what were unambiguously in the relevant location serious violent crimes."

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Headshake. "We're talking about four or five different actors with different motives. The Vanyar decide Ganymede is inhumane and other places might be even worse and they want to have a legal framework to try people themselves, as an alternative. The Valar are asked to do something about a fairy who Ganymede has been unable to arrest for a century, and they arrest him. The fairy's defense attorney decides to take advantage of the lack of precedent to establish footing for a defense of his client. The courts consider the legal argument persuasive. No one acquitted the fairy to make a point about Ganymede, and everyone aware of Ganymede was very upset about the ruling because it so obviously precludes future cooperation."

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"Do you think this conversation might be more productive if I invited the head of the GCP in? She's been in town, complaining to my justice department till she's blue in the face."

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"I would be happy to relieve the burden that has unjustly fallen on your justice department, being at least of the same species as the people she has a complaint with."

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"It's a mess, isn't it? I can wait to ask her in if there's anything better said without her here. She's a bit long-winded."

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"I can't countermand our courts but I agree that this decision speaks poorly of them. If Ganymede doesn't want lots more instances of this it'd really help if they revised their procedures; they could even make an end to such interference a condition of the revisions, I think I can talk Ingwë into that."

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"They won't like that, looks like knuckling under to strongarm tactics. I can tell you now she'll take a paragraph to say that just because you can have gods perform your arrests doesn't make you right."

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"I appreciate hearing it from you and without the paragraph." Sigh. "By all means let's talk to her."

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So the president invites her in. "Maitimo, this is Rochelle Chua; Rochelle, Prince Nelyafinwë."

"Good afternoon," says the elderly Singaporean lady.

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"Thank you. It's a pleasure to meet you."

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"I wish I could say the same but recent events have been among my least favorite experiences and I only dimly hope that you'll be reasonable about this. I've just had to gut my organization over a demonic vlog and a sabotaged forensics department and to the best of my ability to tell the international community thinks the Ganymede Circle Police exist solely to offend them personally, or maybe they think we persecute daeva at random for entertainment? As though there are no real threats, no real constraints on our resources that mean we cannot be judged as though omnipotent, no real reason to react strongly when indestructible extradimensional creatures terrorize the people they were summoned to help. The GCP was willing to work with your people when it seemed like you were willing to perform good faith trades, when it seemed like we were all on the same side, but the buck keeps getting passed to other agents who always turn out to have their own motives and no useful accountability at only the most inconvenient times and frankly I will need very strong assurances to believe that anything you tell me today is more than empty platitudes easily ignored by anyone who could decide that you are not relevantly entitled to make agreements for them this week!"

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"I actually think it might be valuable for the GCP to have relations formally with Elven polities other than the Noldor, but if you're shortstaffed at the moment perhaps it's the wrong time to encourage that. I have no assurances on offer but to the extent you are constrained by resources shortages that sounds like something I might be qualified to fix."

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"It seemed like that to us too, until the Valar turned out to be dimwitted vigilantes unqualified to produce a verifiably arrested arrestee long after they claimed to have finished the job! That is not an ally, let alone a resource, that is an agent of chaos accusing us of barbarism in one breath and disappearing accused daeva to a location no one can reach without their assistance where they are held untried for weeks in an operation our sources suggest received no publicity in any daeva realm except insofar as word of mouth passed on the information that they returned home to only minor inconvenience and completely destroyed deterrent effect!"

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"I regret not making it clear in advance that we would not use more force than necessary to ensure the criminals never harmed anyone again, and not asking you for your standards of 'verifiably arrested'. It is still not clear to me why the demon-aided forensic verification, which is quite straightforward, does not suffice, but this is the first I'd heard of a sabotaged forensics department."

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Ms. Chua facepalms. "Yes, so straightforward, it is astonishing that I must give remedial lessons - demons create material objects! A binding is not a material object! A circle is, or can be, but a snapped binding will not be reflected in the circle! An individual's surroundings are a material object but the supposed magical protections placed by the Valar are not! And you have not even mustered that force; a fairy who tortured seven men and women to death because he did not care for their careers has been set as free as your preposterous excuse for a court can make him, by your own admission! With this sort of precedent about I would not be astonished to wake up on fire because I know what you all think of my line of work, how dare I organize the summoners who make sure that the furniture angel is contained in a safe binding in a facility that exceeds all pancelestial standards for humane conditions, how dare I make certain that my employees who are already at elevated risk of assassination by lunatics who wish to release their demons at least will not lose their souls on the way, how dare I object to benevolent aliens who had not heard of daeva five years ago or human trial procedures last month swooping in to insist that everything be done their way! Did I complain when you bought demons fancy lawyers? No! They can have all the lawyers they like! Do I complain about the Elves swarming my prison nightcycle and daycycle because they think the daeva are lonely? No! That at least is their right! But to fundamentally undermine the entire system with the grace of a kindergarten production of Elephant's Dance is too far!"

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"Would you like me to outline the procedure by which I propose to demonstrate verified arrests?"

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"By all means do, so that I will know which cases must be tabled with the legend 'could not secure for trial, abducted by Elves'!"

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"When a daeva is on summons you can conjure for a scale model of their current summoner. The summoners can visit you in Ganymede; they each only have one summons, and you can look at them and check that the binding has not been snapped and is exactly as described. You can thus verify the whereabouts of the daeva, the binding they are under, and the intact state of that binding. You can do this on demand, I don't mind shuttling summoners around if it brings you peace of mind."

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"You can bring me no peace of mind by demonstrating to me that the fairy who mutilated seven people and left them for their spouses and children to find is oh so verifiably released just as the trial transcript says! Do not insult me by pretending any of this is about peace of mind!"

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"'people are acquitted who should have been convicted' is a separate complaint from 'arrests cannot be verified', are we in agreement on a satisfactory arrangement for verifying arrests such that we can move on to discussing the concern of wrongful acquittals?"

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"Summoners who do as you describe may run afoul of unaccompanied daeva regulations and would be better handled at the Singapore office than on Ganymede proper," she says frostily, "but otherwise yes given the supposition that we can replace our forensic demons."

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"We haven't had any trouble recruiting ours, are you anticipating difficulty there?"

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"The ones we had were untrustworthy and took months to find in the first place."

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"I imagine my suggestions on that would be very much unappreciated."

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Glare.

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"I've been impressed by your organizational competence, I'm sure you'll have no trouble sorting it out. Shall we talk about the wrongful acquittal?"

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"What is there to say? We traded you the Swan demon for arrests and you didn't hand the daeva over for trial and I believe all but one now walk free one way or another."

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"One was acquitted, three took plea deals and are under bindings that prevent them from ever causing harm again, one is serving three hundred years minimum. We do not have and never had the capacity to hand the daeva over for trial. I reviewed my transcripts of that conversation and I said 'we can travel into the daeva realms; it's not safe for us but the Valar can do it safely', from which I regret that it was misunderstood that we possessed a way to impose a binding on a daeva who was not taking a summons. We do not possess such a means, and you don't possess a way to handle them without it."

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"You handled some of them for trial, for some definition of trial, and lawyers are portable. A parole officer visit once every decade is not what I would call 'serving' and your plea deals are ridiculous. No deterrent effect. Every daeva who hears that you offer deals like that will perform whatever mayhem they like so long as they only feel the need to do it once!"

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"If we observe that to occur the court would consider that a reason to issue harsher sentences. Harsh deterrence also deters innocent daeva from taking summonses at all, leaving the pool of summons-accepting daeva one which is unusually willing to risk events with a serious downside for them; at this time our belief is that the effects on innocent people from artificially making it costlier to accept summons outweighs the benefits of deterring troublemakers."

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"This is not up to you to decide! It is not up to you to risk it until you decide some event was caused by your leniency and not whatever the lawyer for the defense trots out as a justification! Did you consult any human polities on this?"

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"Our defendants testify under a magical effect under which it is impossible to lie. They can be asked about their motivations directly, and sentenced off that."

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"Because incentives are always so conscious," she simpers. "Of course you will never interview anyone who was deterred, that way, but why at this point I imagine you might have anything put together sensibly is purest optimism -"

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"Before you got here I was saying to the president that I think we're past the point where a unified response to daeva can reasonably be hoped for, and it makes more sense to establish an agreement with respect to jurisdiction, so daeva who do wrongs in your world can expect to answer to Ganymede and daeva who do wrongs in ours to us. Does that work for you?"

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"Will you turn over the five whose names we ill-advisedly gave you in a condition such that we can hold them?"

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"I just explained to you that we do not have the means to do that."

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"Then it seems like this does not work for you."

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" - I am unclear on what requests for us you're bringing to the table today. I cannot magically force daeva to accept summons. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

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"Apparently today it does not suit you and you will have some charming excuse for why you couldn't possibly have actually done as you just offered to do when the capability materializes!"

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"I can't achieve the jurisdiction agreement without your help. I would love to discuss with you how we could achieve it together but if we leave things as they currently stand I doubt very much I will be able to make it happen. It involves persuading six or seven Elven polities to agree never to offer daeva wanted by Ganymede asylum, and our headlines are all full of profiles of this adorable fourteen-year-old child you're currently trying to arrest and I need your help to get anywhere."

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"You have just claimed you can't achieve it, period, that you can't turn over those five who we never should have trusted you with in the first place - can't believe I listened to him - you will find the going very hard if you shelter criminals who have aggressed against human citizens. President Melo -"

"Surely you don't think you can convict the kid?" asks the President.

"I don't! I think it needs to go to trial! Apparently being videogenic grants him diplomatic immunity as far as Elves are concerned and they've appointed themselves obstructions in the matter accordingly!"

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"I can't turn over the five defendants no matter what, because there does not exist any means of forcing a daeva to take a summons. I can, with your help, achieve an agreement not to summon future defendants, but I am a politician and I work within the constraints of politics and it is very hard for me to successfully push for your interests when everyone I am talking to has mostly heard of you as the people who are trying to arrest a child. - also, if you don't mind, why does it need to go to trial if no one involved thinks there's any chance it'll result in a conviction -"

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"Because that is the procedure and it has to be followed predictably and regardless of how long he had been around before he induced half a dozen minors to take their own lives! How do you live with yourself? Those children are dead but he looks charming on camera and you can't convince your people that there should be a formal investigation into those deaths? I am sure that you can find equally appealing photographs of the deceased. President Melo, wouldn't you find it difficult to sell your constituency on relations with Elves if they knew that the angel who burned down half the Opportunity Arcology was released on plea bargain without trial and was going to stay that way? How long are you planning to cover it up?"

"Well - as long as he can't take more summons and no one has to worry about getting him at random -"

"That will not satisfy them all!"

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" - would it also help any for them to know it was an accident? Because it was an accident. The angel has a severe clinical anxiety disorder, was summoned for the first time, had a panic attack, and due to an inadequate binding caused damage during the panic attack. He has been curled up at home absolutely paralyzed with terror ever since."

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"I would love to be able to produce some sort of trial transcript to that effect, if it's true," Ms. Chua snarls, "but I can't, because you released him on plea bargain."

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"If we hadn't talked with him he would still be in Heaven, he was never going to take your circles. It seems to do the process an injustice to insist on comparing it to an outcome that could not have been successfully achieved."

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"Stop equivocating about what could have been achieved! You tried the fairy, or at least conveyed him to the semblance of a trial, and it was your own whim that prevented you from doing the same with the arsonist!"

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"It was the prosecutor's decision that, given the case facts, offering the defendant a plea bargain would serve the interests of justice. It seems like a reasonable decision to me, truth be told."

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"The prosecutors you employ might as well be made of tissue paper!"

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"Ms. Chua, what do you want from me?"

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"I want you to stop evading about what you can and cannot do such that we only discover the problems with your intentions after you can claim it is too late to remedy the situation! I want you to cease to indulge your vendetta against my organization - it cannot possibly be the only thing about our entire civilization that could be making headlines, I find it deeply suspicious that it is my prison and my prison alone which is swarming with Elves - and I want you to stop sheltering daeva who have attacked human beings from human justice and stop pretending you have every right to do so!"

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"The necessity of greater clarity about our limitations has been very firmly impressed upon me. I have no vendetta against your organization and would not choose to pursue it by stirring up complaints that make me wildly unpopular at home, and I will fight tooth and nail to get my neighbors to agree to forbid offering daeva asylum but I state once again that my odds of achieving that are slim without your help. The Noldor have already agreed not to do that ourselves, of course."

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"Where are the representatives from the other Elven polities?" wonders President Melo.

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"Elves move slowly by human standards, the Noldor unusually less so. They have been having diplomat confirmation hearings and ship dedications and in one case debates over dress codes."

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"You all seem to move quickly enough when it comes to sheltering torturers and arsonists," hisses Chua.

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"I will tell them you have suggestions on their prioritization."

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"You keep alluding to help you want from me. What is it that you have in mind, do you want me to break the rules of my own organization to take down the circles for the vlog demon because he produces Elf-inspiring quotations, is that it?"

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"No. I would ideally like you to find someone charismatic who can go with me to heads of state and make the case for the human perspective less, ah, divisively than you made it to me today. I would have an easier time if you gave daeva an appeals process and demons a gag that permitted them to write letters to their families."

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"My charismatic employees have gotten nowhere! They let you run circles around them! And now there are five daeva we cannot arrest no matter how many circles we lay out because you've inserted your own ideas of how to handle them without being asked! We cannot adjust the bindings of already arrested demons and my active summoners are avoiding Ganymede like the plague because they are afraid of the Elves who are so upset about the pancelestial-guideline-exceeding prison conditions and think if they set foot there to, say, allow the demons to write for non-trial purposes, something might happen to them - it does not help that your court just effectively affirmed the right to torture people to death if they're involved in institutions you don't care for!"

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"We can swear to things, you're familiar with that, right, do you want me to swear I know of no one with access to Ganymede who would contemplate that and that I will use every resource available to me to protect the lives of your employees?"

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"I consider you absolutely untrustworthy and far too clever with words to get around that by swearing to things."

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"I see. Thank you for your time, Ms. Chua."

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"President Melo -"

"I think you were due to talk to Maria Matilde!" the president says brightly. "She should be available about now!"

Chua hisses and leaves.

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"That was informative. Thank you. - I can present documentation of the prosecutorial decision to offer a plea bargain in the case of the arsonist, if that'll be politically useful."

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"I'd sure appreciate that and so will my press coordinator."

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"Of course. I - ah - is there a procedure for the GCP to replace their director, should she be taking the organization in a direction incompatible with its mission -"

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"The subscribers - that's me and the various Earth and Luna leaders and Federated Station - can appoint another candidate with a two-thirds majority vote."

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"I'm reassured to hear that there's a process, though of course I hope it never comes up. I'll go request the arson-related documentation unchiplocked. It was as ever a pleasure to see you."

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"If only Ms. Chua were so easily pleased!"

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"I might suggest back at home that they appoint someone else to my role, she seems to dislike me particularly."

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"Ah, I'd miss your visits if you were replaced altogether but having someone else to interface with the GCP might be prudent."

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"It'll take them ten days to get here but then the GCP can have a friendlier face to have their arguments with."

 

And he goes home and requests that people provide him with the relevant documentation and he forwards it to the president of Mars.

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President Melo appreciates it!

 

Ms. Chua issues a press release with the least charitable possible spin on the whereabouts of the five daeva. "I regard the Elves as utterly untrustworthy," is the pull quote. Some of his meetings with non-Melo Presidents are less pleasant.

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That's okay. He has the fuller version of the story, and where he has an opening he impresses upon them that he thinks humans should have jurisdiction over human behavior but that getting the whole multiverse to agree to never offer daeva asylum might be hard unless the GCP is willing to give daeva an appeals process - "so I think it's very much in our mutual interest to make that happen."

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"They have one," says the President of the African Union. "It takes - five years? Halisi, look that up - but they can appeal."

"Yes ma'am, five years," says Halisi.

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"With consent of the victim or if relevant their family, and why would they want to let the daeva appeal? I'm having a hard time persuading everyone that that constitutes due process, especially after the numerous recent miscarriages of justice - "

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"What miscarriages, acquitting the torture fairy?" asks the president.

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"Trust me, there is at this very moment a fork of me yelling at the policymakers responsible for that miscarriage of justice also. But, uh, perhaps you got a more complete explanation than I did about why the GCP insisted vocally for months that ex-summoners becoming daeva was a lie, and then suddenly went silent about it, I was just told that it was a forensics mishap. And they've been unable to find new forensics demons. And there were a bunch of irregularities in the Celendra trial, pointing to the daeva not in practice having access to the right to have disputed claims verified forensically even back when the GCP, uh, had forensics demons..."

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"They've been borrowing ours, ma'am," Halisi confirms when the president looks at her.

"And the Celendra trial?"

"She got off, ma'am."

"Then what's the problem?"

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"She got off at appeal after being wrongfully convicted in the first place; she missed watching her daughter grow up in the meantime. A key witness was not permitted to testify in another recent trial because the judge had been mistakenly told she was an imposter; they didn't bother giving him a retrial because it was a relatively short sentence, but I for one would resent even six weeks wrongfully convicted. I have wholeheartedly thrown my support and my political capital behind the GCP and the call to let humans prosecute human crimes. When these incidents come up they get nonstop coverage back home and they are very bad for the credibility of that cause. Same with the crusade to catch that fourteen-year-old. I know the GCP has to do its job with independence from politics, but appeals and reliably correct forensics are not extraordinary asks."

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"I don't see why it ought to require any credibility to let humans prosecute human crimes. We aren't demanding to prosecute Elf crimes," says the president of the African Union.

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" - I mean, that is how this all started, actually."

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She looks at Halisi.

"The GCP handed over a demon who holed an Elf planet, ma'am."

"Well. Handed over. So what are you complaining about?"

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"The GCP arrested and declined to hand over that demon. I went there to plead with them to reconsider. They agreed on the condition that we hunt down five fugitives for them. If they had agreed without conditions we would never have bothered the five daeva in question and none of this would have come up at all."

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"But they did agree and now you won't give over their fugitives, sounds like Chua thinks you're sheltering them."

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"Ma'am, it is impossible to force a daeva to answer a summons. We removed them from the general population so they can never take summons again, never hurt anyone again, but short of I suppose torturing them until they decide to take the circle, there's nothing we can do. We did then offer to hand them over with powerful magic to suppress theirs so the GCP could handle them safely but the GCP didn't feel equipped to do that, and declined. I have showed Chua and her representatives the binding they are under, I agreed with her to a procedure for verifying those bindings. One of them was acquitted and I wish he hadn't been but sometimes the courts acquit people, I could hardly have promised her they'd all be convicted."

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"He wasn't just acquitted, he was acknowledged to have done the thing and let off with a defense the court just made up."

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"And I'm furious about it and I think you're right to be furious about it."

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"You offered to hand them over? She makes it sound like that didn't happen."

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"Varda went straight to Ganymede and told them the arrangements that had been made and placed a portal so they could look at the arrestees and make suggestions on further handling. They got upset with her and told her to go away. I wish I'd been there personally to handle communications better but I assure you that Ganymede knew as soon as the arrests happened and were immediately offered all the resources at our disposal to help verify that and handle the arrestees. After they refused we had to develop our own procedure for handling them, which was admittedly ad-hoc and had serious flaws. But Varda went to Ganymede immediately."

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"If you told me you were going to arrest a few of my criminals and then what I got was permission to look at them I would be mad at you too."

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"She would have happily arranged from there whatever kind of access they suggested. I expect you would have said 'thank you, now I will need the following things for my officers to safely take them into custody' and then she would have provided that."

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"Elves don't have prisons, right? You know the cops and the prison guards are different people? You don't show up at Nairobi Detention Center and say 'oh look, over there, gang members! What next?'"

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"Yep, that's one of the miscommunications that made the situation such a disaster. I have offered and will continue to offer any restitution we can make, Ms. Chua couldn't think of anything but maybe you can."

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"She wants the daeva, give her the daeva, if you were all set to do it then you can do it now."

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"She wants the daeva to answer their circles, which we were never able to do because it is not possible."

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"You want to talk to my GCP liaison, see if she can figure something out?"

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"I'd appreciate that tremendously."

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"Sure, sure, she's in -"

"Room 206, ma'am."

"Thank you."

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"Pleasure to see you again."

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"You too, you too, say hi to your family for me."

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"I will!" And he goes off to talk to the GCP liaison.

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"So the problem here," says the GCP liaison, "is that the entirety of Ganymede is architected for daeva who can't get too close to each other without permission, can't make things or move things or change things, etcetera. Nice wide hallways, we bother having a cafeteria, that sort of thing. Being bound by a circle is not technically necessary, but if they're going to access the existing facilities they need to be prevented from harassing each other, escaping, damaging the facilities unless they want to do it by banging their heads on the walls, etcetera. Can that effect be duplicated?"

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He takes notes. "I can't think how to do it but we have a lot of resources at our disposal, so probably. Suppressing the magic is easy, preventing escapes - well, I will take the problem home and throw my best people at it. And we can keep exploring for new dimensions until we find one that has a magic way to make them take summons, that's the other possible avenue."

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"Yeah. I think she'll calm down once the five of them are in custody, you know, she just thinks you're up to something. Maybe a little paranoid in her age."

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"I imagine it's been a stressful few months, that'd get to anyone."

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"Oh yeah."

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"And if we were on better terms I expect I could help with some of your other problems, but as it stands she doesn't trust me enough for that to work out very well. All the more reason to find a fix to this as quickly as possible. It'd be nice if my people working on this at home could run ideas by you in something resembling real time, without the lightleaper jump to stick ten days' delay into fine-tuning anything workable we come up with. Does the GCP conjure for mail?"

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"Not directly but the Singapore office gets priority dispatches in the batch packets. I don't think you can piggyback on that unless you pay for the slot or the message is 'quick, arrest this daeva'."

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Notes notes. "I'll ask my people to look into that or alternatives, then. Thanks so much."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Yeah, no problem."

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"In the meantime do you suppose there's any way future news releases could indict me, or my government or for that matter my planet, rather than the whole species, as utterly untrustworthy? We were working on a tourism arrangement and a new trade deal and people trust the GCP, if you say we're a species of pathologically scheming liars -"

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"I could tell whoever's on press since Chua purged half the office that it sounds racist, maybe. Not like they've met other Elves."

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"Well, if the tourism agreement doesn't fall through they'll get the chance. Thank you. Take care."

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"Yeah, have a good day."

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"My alt confirms that the director of the GCP has decided to double down, purged half the office - including all the moderates, he thinks - told him that he was lying about being unable to force daeva to take summonses - which could be really poor instincts or really good ones, honestly -"

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"She thinks he's up to shenanigans. He is in fact totally up to shenanigans and pulling a huge snow job."

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"I mean, I think the full extent of his aims with the GCP was until this week 'get them to have slightly more humane procedures so we can let them handle things, since the Elves suck at it' and now it looks like they might not be reformable into an organization with vaguely humane procedures so now it's just 'handle daeva personally ad hoc out of Milliways because the Elves continue to suck at it, try to limit damage done by GCP'. She doubled down before their goals diverged, and that's why they did."

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"She was in fact being sabotaged by her forensics demons, I don't think we can hold the position they took about Minor's claims against them..."

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"I don't blame them for that, but I do think it's indicative of - hmm - some procedural steps that would have prevented that include 'have a line of communications with daeva', 'answer Minor's repeated messages to you', 'phrase your forensics carefully if you're using them to exclude witnesses from murder trials' - 'don't treat your forensics demons so badly that they'll lie pretty much just to fuck you over', 'let the defense present forensic evidence' - then Silva could have presented it in Arati's case -"

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"Oh, yeah, they're not handling things being suddenly unlike what they were designed to handle well at all, but they're not bizarre monsters."

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"Sure. Just - not capable of becoming an organization we can trust to handle daeva incidents in the multiverse. Which really isn't a scathing indictment, the Elves aren't capable of becoming that either and I like the Elves fine."

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"Sure. Instead of this ad hoc thing maybe there should be a competing organization, see if they can get all the GCP's subscribers to switch. But this would require being less ad hoc. By a lot."

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"Yeah. I don't think I'd be personally very good at it, the rule of law means sometimes permitting injustices for procedural reasons etcetera etcetera and I would be so tempted to meddle. 

 

I have no idea what we should do, though. I can ask Minor to stop provoking them but honestly I would have wanted the information that this is how they handle a vlog's worth of provocation."

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"A vlog's worth of provocation they link to a bunch of suicides."

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"For a society with the right to suicide they sure do act like it's the worst thing in the world."

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"There wasn't always a right to suicide and it became a high profile issue at around the same time harassment did. Somebody who was on record stating that they wanted to give their meds a shot and stick around at least till some movie came out said something inflammatory on the Internet, and got flooded with messages that just said over and over 'you have a right to suicide'... His boyfriend was a lawyer, it snowballed."

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" - ah. That's useful context, thanks. Minor's not guilty, is he, he hasn't said anything aimed at a specific person and all he's said in general is 'summoners become daeva when they die'..."

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"I do not think he would be convicted even with a lackluster defense."

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"Which makes it look kind of like they're just prosecuting him because he stresses them out."

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"They're probably under pressure from Arati's government or something."

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Sigh.

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Minor goes to Tirion and makes eight videos with stunning Elven backdrops, talking about Elf history and culture and attitudes towards daeva - "they're pretty cool! Also a lot of them had already heard of me, which is weird, apparently they're super fascinated by Ganymede since they had a few high-profile daeva trials themselves and I come up a lot in Ganymede debates. People randomly give me hugs and tell me to stay safe, which is - nice? People usually don't tell daeva to stay safe, and I guess they have a good reason, but having everyone sort of mentally assume that nothing bad that happens to you is really bad since after all you're indestructible is kind of tiring after a while."

 

He still makes his appearances on Sesame Street Luna; he doesn't explain himself.

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Some of his commenters notice the Sesame Street appearance. They think it's cute. There's already an angel character and a fairy character but they're an adult and a Muppet, respectively, so this is sort of groundbreaking.

Everybody likes the Elf architecture.

The African Union GCP liaison sends Maitimo a message: Good news, apparently it's pretty easy to get a new section of the prison set up to just be a straight antimagic zone, they can do without security fairies there if they need to! Chua even said it's all right if the demons aren't gagged there as long as they can't make anything or escape. That should make the handoff way easier and more palatable for your folks.

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That's amazing and, yeah, pretty much resolves all our worries. Nice work! Next steps on my end:

Get formal agreement from the Valar that any future daeva they're asked to retrieve go there (should give them a step by step procedure, they work best with those: for example does the GCP want to be notified before a dropoff, and if so who, and in what medium, and how far in advance of the dropoff do you want the notice; should the daeva be notified before being grabbed (presuming they can't flee) and what should be the wording of the notification (this prevents issues like 'the fairy is flying with her pet cat, gets grabbed, cat dies')). Can you help me out with the details for that?

Get formal agreement from relevant local governments that if anyone summons a daeva to get them asylum, they can be permissibly relocated in this manner (this is a much easier sell than 'they should be forced to dismiss the daeva', unsurprisingly) - I don't need anything from you here, I'll send you updates. The relevant jurisdictions are the Vanyar, the Falathrim, the Teleri, the Mithrim, the Iathrim, the Avari, and of course us but I'll have our law through by tomorrow, called someone up to draft it just now.

File court orders for relocation of the five daeva your director wanted originally - I'm expecting their lawyers to object, we'll see how strenuously. I could have the request for a court order in by the filing deadline tonight if there's anything on fire on your end that we can douse with some tangible progress here, or I can tell the lawyers to make it more airtight, submit in a week or two.

The court cannot technically order the Valar to do anything (I know, I know...) but they are very responsive to the argument that they ought to be accountable and so on; I have a friend near Taniquetil who I expect can secure their agreement to abide by the results of 3). If this fails there are probably still some ways to do a transfer once I have a court order.

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You should really have your own GCP liaison, maybe one per jurisdiction, but we're shortstaffed; I can put an ad out for you if you want. That'd be who you'd tell. I can pull double duty in the meanwhile, Africa's heavy on long term summonses that are mostly pretty chill and we don't have many incidents. We're fine with giving notices (it's usually impossible but e.g. we sent that vlog demon a notice even before putting out the circles). Airtight in a week or two is better than sloppy tonight, it's not an on-fire emergency since at least they can't run amok in the meantime.

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Ms. Chua expressed some sentiments last time we spoke to the effect that lawyers are portable, if you think it'd be helpful we'd be happy to bring some of yours out here. I talked with my counterpart in Alqualondë over lunch, they're tentatively okay with a no-shelter law for rape and murder but not for property damage and specifically not for vlogging, how hard should I push on that?

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I could try to convince her to try him in absentia. She's not gonna budge on the arson angel, it's pure luck that didn't have casualties.

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Vlog demon's not even in Alqualondë, he's in Hazel - though he was here this week, actually - so it's an entirely theoretical point at the moment. It's not luck that one didn't have casualties, the angel pulled the fire alarm before starting the fire, but I am agreed that similar situations could arise where it is luck.

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Vlog demon'll get off, pretty much no question, so trial in absentia'll probably wrap that up fine. Mars arcologies are pretty high oxygen, the fire alarm didn't give all that much warning and there were some injuries.

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And a few days later - okay, haven't made the lightleaper trip over to Endorë yet but Valimar and Alqualondë have both agreed to no-shelter laws for violent crimes generally, they're debating specific wordings, this morning's drafts are attached (just key bits, I'm paying per character here). Won't be a problem with people trying to rescue daeva from your custody in future. 

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Great thanks!

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Leaving for Endorë now, contact my staff at this address if you need anything while I'm in transit. (I'll take a demon but if she wants to go home can't summon a new one.) Valar agreed to set it up for you and to deposit any future dangerous daeva there. If you have anyone you need they could do that now.

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Chua's really antsy about making any suggestions like that before the first five are resolved. Can I get some excruciating step by step on how it'd happen if I tossed you a name?

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Yeah. We look into it, verify your forensics - no offense or anything, but that was a major sticking point. This does not take longer than six hours. If they're on active summons outside our jurisdiction we let you know. If they're home or here we send a local messenger (another daeva of same type) if we can find anyone who lives within reasonable transit distance (< 12 hours) of there. Local messenger informs them that they're under arrest, such and such charges, and should expect to be transferred to Ganymede in ten minutes. Ten minutes later they show up in the antimagic zone. 

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Chua's babysitting the new forensics demon personally, seems to actually like her. What happens if they live farther than that?

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I'm glad she found someone, a sticking point last time we talked was that none of our offers of verification were meaningful until you had somebody. If they're farther than that then if they're a demon we'll write them, same form of notice, give them six hours to check their mail, and otherwise they don't get notified but we'll wait to do the transfer until they are not holding or telekinetically supporting anything irreplaceable or alive.

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Okay, what if there's a forensics dispute or they hang onto an alive or irreplaceable thing?

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Once they're notified if they don't put it down that's their lookout (Valar think they could maybe save an animal if warned anyway). If they're out of notification range and hanging onto something then Valar can notify them directly, they just prefer that be a last resort because it was disruptive last time they tried it. Forensics dispute we'll send you our exact wording and our conclusion, compare notes, ultimately we won't go ahead without evidence the daeva was present at the crime and is currently either unbound or bound by one of the people under the jurisdiction agreements I'm hammering out right now but we won't insist on evidence they're guilty or anything, that's for trial.

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"Present"? You know demons have stupidly huge range, right?

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I used to live on Valinor. Demons if they're in the right star system at the right time that counts.

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All right, just making real sure. Can you think of anything I forgot?

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I can think of some ways it fails and you guys get annoyed - presently on a long term Hazel summons means we're not touching it and I think Hazel's got a reasonable number of those. I am not trying to negotiate a jurisdiction agreement with Queen Victoria though if you guys manage to secure one we'll abide by it once it exists. Godspring also has a patchwork of local kings, barons, etc. but there we have an in and also a bottleneck on summoning, I think I can get someone who's presently in Godspring dismissed and then they're a fair target. 

 

If the daeva get out of the anti-magic field - but I assume you're taking that sufficiently seriously.

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If the antimagic field is good it won't be a problem unless one of them shows up with power tools for hands. ...Please abort and notify me if one of them has power tools for hands.

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Noted. - should we in fact make sure they don't transfer with their clothes stuffed full of explosives, and if so how -

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Yes please. I'm not sure how the Valar would go about it but if it's feasible to just transfer them all by themselves we can have clothes ready?

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I expect that's feasible. Would it be possible for a determined daeva to replace their skullcap with explosives or something?

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An angel could, maybe a demon. We've never actually had that problem but it'd be harder to handle without a security fairy. Is it possible the antimagic zone could allow a fairy outside of it to move things inside of it?

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Not the way they had it set up here, but I don't know that it's impossible in principle. I can have someone ask.

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That'd definitely be easiest. We can make it work without if we have to, though, maybe land them outside the architecture for a search.

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It might not come up but it seems like daeva'd be a lot more motivated to cause a big explosion and get outside the antimagic zone than they were in the standard prison, and also that it'd be a lot more disastrous if they succeeded. 

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Yeah. Ganymede is on, well, Ganymede, to make sure even fairies would have a while before they got anywhere they could be trouble and they can be dismissed in time if there's some kind of accident, but that won't work for this batch; is there a way to contact the Valar in an emergency?

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They have FTL communications among each other but I don't actually know if they're interdimensional. Checked about having security fairies managing from outside and they're trying some things to see if they can get that working.

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Great, keep me posted.

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A week later, treaties coming along, and someone suggested that the orcs might be amenable too if someone who isn't an Elf asks them, does Ganymede have people you'd want to represent you for that? Valar think they could exempt specific daeva from the antimagic, they don't have it yet but apparently it looks possible in principle, does that work? Valar can send people unclothed unless daeva can incorporate an explosive vest into their indestructibility somehow, in which case no can do; my mail demon thinks that would be really really hard and pretty much impossible on short notice but we can't count on short notice and 'really really hard' is not quite where I want the bar for safety, suggestions?

 

Ran this by a team of people and they came up with another potential complication; there are a few Godspring mage daeva and will eventually be more of them, this arrangement is probably insecure against greenmages, forensics cannot conveniently check for that. Could just avoid arresting ex-humans from Godspring in this manner, at least for the time being, but I want that formalized somewhere so it doesn't get forgotten first project handoff. Have you gotten a summary of Godspring magic?

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We're not really equipped for diplomacy per se and would rather attach somebody to an existing diplomatic arm of some kind. If they can exempt specific daeva then that'll work great, our security fairies are all long term and really good. I think incorporating explosives into indestructibility is a contradiction in terms but they could maybe incorporate things that would become explosives if disincorporated; however, again, we've never had this problem. Attentive security fairies can keep an explosion contained but ours usually don't have to be attentive on quite that moment to moment a level...

The more I think about this the more I wonder if it's worth it. I think Chua thinks the only way to get the daeva punished is to do it ourselves, though, is she right?

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We have reason to want arrangements like this to be possible, even if it's not worth the risk in your star system - there are dimensions where people hatch from eggs, it's a significant medium-term concern of ours to figure out what to do if Hell finds out about them. Elven courts are more than willing to remove daeva who might hurt people from circulation, but punishment is - 

- for cultural context here, the evil god who uploaded and tortured hundreds of millions of people during the recent war, and regrets it not at all, and promises to do it again if he got the chance, is in the coziest VR setup it was possible to arrange for him. I was one of the people uploaded, and I'm pretty much satisfied with that outcome. I think there were about a thousand signatories on the petition to execute him but it was very emphatic about proposing that because of the risk he'd eventually get loose, not merely because he deserved it. We would probably have to observe a case of someone making trouble in expectation they'll get lenient sentencing to persuade our courts to punish for deterrence, and they'll never punish just for the emotional satisfaction of the victims. Which is why I am trying to arrange for us to just not touch crimes against humans; some cultural differences are best handled by letting us each do things our way. 

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I can send you the furniture angel's trial transcript. Or would it have to be a future case?

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No, that'd do it - you don't have the truth effects so it'll be less persuasive but I expect I could get somewhere with it, better if you have video.

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Have your mail demon get Ganymede Trial Tape 66-C.

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His mail demon is a big fan of Macalaurë's and agreed to do mail hourly in exchange for attending all his live performances and occasionally meeting him for lunch. Macalaurë finds the arrangement very flattering and it's terribly convenient. He asks for the trial tapes.

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"You've been on summonses with lax bindings before."

"Yes."

"Why now?"

"Well, I'd learned to do it, and also last time state of the art justice would be a vigilante sticking me in their shed."

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Thanks, I can work with that. Does Ms. Chua get on along better with our new liaison? If so it might be that the most useful thing I can do for relations is stay home and argue the courts into harsher penalties.

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I think she likes her more but doesn't think she has any useful authority.

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Sadly no one else with 'prince' in front of their name is both qualified and interested in forking for it. I might not have made the job sound overwhelmingly fun. What would you like my priority to be here?

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The fairy, pretty much. Everybody else we can maybe sell that they can never hurt anybody again and it's okay, but acquitted by a foreign court who justifies torturing people to death not so much.

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Yes, understood. I'll work on it. - don't know if it was mentioned, but some Elves can talk to animals, that's part of the reason for the strength of the reaction to there being torture factories full of them, people are thinking of it as something much closer to 'torture factories full of people'.

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It's not like we still have them but people then didn't know better.

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I very dearly wish he'd been convicted, don't get me wrong, but we are not eager to enshrine 'they didn't know better' in our laws as a defense when we're encountering worlds with slavery and so on. They don't know better and nonetheless absent a nonlethal means of freeing slaves we will free slaves, absent a nonlethal means of closing torture factories we will close torture factories...

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I might agree with you if he'd just killed them. Work with me here.

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I am doing and will keep doing everything I can. I've challenged the sentencing, I've challenged the framework, I've met the judges for dinner, I'm filing appeals, I'm trying to feel out whether I can get anywhere by talking to the fairy, but characterizing it to your society as 'foreign court decides torturing people to death is okay' is your decision. The press releases I have seen have seemed very deliberately designed to have people as terrified and distrustful of our process as possible. If that's to put pressure on me, consider me pressured, and stop digging a hole.

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I wouldn't have put out those releases but it wasn't my call.

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Understood. 

 

If you do successfully summon him I am confident I'm now positioned to prevent that from causing problems for you. 

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If you can tip us off if he's able to be summoned again that would help a lot.

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Absolutely. 

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We're still thinking about antimagic prison design but I think it's dead in the water. A breakout of an unbound criminal would be too much.

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It's not really an acceptable risk, is it. Technically possible that a greenmage daeva could force someone to take a circle, though I wouldn't want to convince a judge that mind control is a permissible way of making arrests.

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Over a militant vegan, no. I wouldn't be the one to tell you no if you'd needed it for the planet holer.

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It's good to have as an option for anything that bad. We also have (extremely costly and restricted) access to goldmages, who do limited time travel, so if another planet is ever holed tell us as quickly as you can and we'll undo it and warn you in time.

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Will do.

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Minor turns fifteen. Not that he's been keeping track of how long it's been subjectively, but it's his birthday by Revelation's calendar and with Hazel stalled he may as well go by that. He misses taking summonses; he makes more videos instead. He delivers his speech on Sesame Street Luna about how demons are very helpful but no one wants to let them talk.

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The muppets are very sympathetic. Maybe since he can talk while visiting Sesame Street he would like to say the word of the day!

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Sure! 

 

 

Is the GCP getting anywhere on trying him in absentia?

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They send him an email indicating that they're doing that.

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He replies that he would be happy to stop by Ganymede for the trial if convenient.

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Then he can answer a circle.

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As soon as they take the gags off.

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If he doesn't want to show up to a standard circle to produce a standard written defense they'll just try him in absentia that's fine.

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Oh, he's not asking for special treatment, he's demanding they change their standard circles.

(He doesn't send this reply; he can imagine Timothy making a face at him.)

 

He idly monitors his trial in absentia.

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The prosecution's strongest argument is in fact that he didn't show. The defense establishes that he has seldom actually even discussed suicide and does not do so in an encouraging manner and that his absence can be explained by his "well-documented activist beliefs" better than by expectation of a guilty verdict.

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Very documented activist beliefs. His defense attorneys can have the chain of emails, if that helps.

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They have to get them from forensics. The new forensics demon is apparently allowed to talk, although she doesn't very much.

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They probably couldn't find anyone who'd agree to do the job gagged. Still, progress.

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He is found innocent and his circles are dismantled.

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He makes a video that is delighted but not gloating and checks to see if there are other hostile circles out for him.

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Lecture lady, that cult, other circles are friendly.

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He goes and finds his summoner and asks to be dismissed - "so I can go take more summons, I missed it, I don't have all Earth languages yet..."

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He dismisses him without a fuss then goes back to teaching himself lightleaper physics.

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Minor feels pretty good about that. 

 

And he takes one of the circles for him.

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Lecture lady! She has an hour of opinions on the suicide thing. Apparently she didn't think she wanted kids until she was thirty and Minor had better make sure he's doing his best to watch out for all those impressionables watching his videos. Here is a book of candy recipes make something nice for your little girlfriend.

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She's probably lonely. People in societies without a Timothy or too big for the Timothy to know everyone are probably desperately lonely sometimes.


But she could still let him talk. 

He flashcards 'thank you' and writes Miranda with the story and the list of items he now owes her should she like them.

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She would take a pretty shawl and some candy but pass on the art glass.

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Giggle. I'll bring them by when I get home. 

 

And another one!

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Cult! Someone in robes jumps up and runs away when he appears.

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Ooooh, he'd been kind of wondering about the cult. He waits.

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More people in robes appear. They start chanting. He can catch the occasional word but apparently his original summoner didn't actually speak whatever this is and the vocabulary overlap is slim.

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Chanting chanting chanting chanting "the demon" chanting chanting.

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What language is the binding in?

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The binding is a preprint with his name filled in in English.

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Well okay. The demon stands there with his arms crossed glaring at the cultists.

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They chant a lot and then most of them leave and the remaining one sits on the floor and meditates.

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About sending their demon home?

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It transpires that no.

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He reads through his binding.

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Pretty snug. He might have more wiggle room if he had a task and as usual wordless magic affecting nothing outside the circle is fine.

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He practices Apparating. He has yet to get the hang of it but trying to do a one-foot jump is as good practice as any. 

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As soon as he produces a loud noise the meditating cultist gets up, opens a cupboard, pulls out a flamethrower, sits back down, and sets the flamethrower beside him.

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Uh. 

 

He continues practicing.

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The next time he gets a loud noise the cultist takes aim.

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Do these people not understand how demons work.

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Apparently not well enough to consider aiming a flamethrower at one a poor choice.

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He stretches out his wings as far as the circle will permit that and scowls at the guy. Then he folds them. Then he goes back to practicing.

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Next loud noise gets him set on fire. He can't burn very much but his clothes can.

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Yep. Actually kind of hurts but he just rolls his eyes at the guy in case the problem here was a lack of clarity about how demons work.

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Five seconds of flamethrower then it gets put down and he goes back to meditating.

Permalink Mark Unread

...if he does a shrinking charm on his circle, so it looks like it's about a foot smaller, it shouldn't actually get any smaller but the cultists might become mistaken about where its border is. 

 

It takes him five tries.

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The cultist doesn't notice.

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And now he has an even smaller space to practice in. He goes back to practicing anyway.

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Next loud noise gets ten seconds of flamethrower.

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If he just takes off his clothes so they won't be annoyingly on fire does anything happen?

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No, that seems to be allowed.

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He'll fireproof them next time he can talk, it just isn't something that comes up much and he can't pull it off nonverbally. Do they keep increasing durations of flamethrower?

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Yup, five seconds more each time he makes an Apparition crack sound.

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Which he'd stop doing given other things to do. 

 

Eventually he successfully jumps a foot.

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That'll get him another burst.

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He's so thrilled he doesn't care. Also maybe eventually they'll be careless and step too close.

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After an hour this cultist is replaced by another cultist.

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Their captive demon is trying to repeat successful Apparition within the smaller circle.

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The new cultist has been informed of how many increments of increased flamethrowing they're up to.

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He really does not like these people and is not going to feel bad at all when he gets one to step close enough.

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They don't seem to have a stepping close to him protocol going on here.

After this cultist has been meditating at him for an hour she leaves and is not replaced. It's dark outside.

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He could make light but he doesn't bother. He practices until he can reliably hop across the circle and then he starts mentally picking apart the language they were chanting in.

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A loud noise is apparently sufficient to get a cultist out of bed to flamethrower him some more.

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Well in that case they're not getting any sleep.

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They look really tired by morning. When the sun rises there is more chanting.

One of them chants wrong and gets five seconds of garden hose to the face. It looks unpleasant.

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Poor cultist. He feels so sorry for them. He Apparates around his decoy circle, hop hop hop.

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Flamethrower.

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Yes, he follows their philosophy of deterrance. His philosophy of deterrance is to be really impossible to deter from things. 

Continuous hopping. If he were human he'd be exhausted and leaving chunks of himself behind.

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They have to replace the fuel in the flamethrower.

The wielder of the hose murmurs very softly to some cultists in what is probably English.

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It takes him two hours to get a sound-amplifying spell working nonverbally. Might've been faster if he had stopped hopping but he does not intend to do that.

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By then he is back on meditating cultist with a flamethrower rota again.

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Well they won't get very much meditating done.

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Seems like it.

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There's a flame-freezing charm. He waits until they're not looking, casts it, provokes more flamethrowing.

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They are - annoyed? Confused? Hard to tell with the hood.

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Well, they possess a solution to this problem of theirs.

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Yes! The solution is running off to tell the Leader!!!

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Well, disruptions in the routine are promising maybe they mean someone will step too close!

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Not soon!

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It's good motivation to get better at nonverbal spellwork, at least. He practices the ones he'll need if they do.

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Eventually a cultist sweeps the floor. He avoids the decoy circle but only that.

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Petrificus Totalus, Minor thinks but doesn't say, and moves his wand very precisely, his Defense professor'll be so impressed when he's back in school -

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- cultist falls, broom hits him in the nose on the way down.

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He pulls the cultist's upper body into the decoy circle. 

He shuffles through his damaged flash cards for 'I am being held here against my will and have not been offered a task.'

He sits and waits.

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Another cultist comes in and about-faces and leaves right away.

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If they're smart they'll summon a fairy and then it'll depend on how the fairy reacts. 

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Nope. They just dismiss him instead.

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That works too. He remakes his clothes and his flashcards and spies on them.

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They don't write much. The articles on them say they call themselves the Hereafter's Heralds and their leader is named Kendrick Hall but they are not very sharey about their beliefs and deprogrammed members usually don't even know much..

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Which one was Kendrick Hall, did he used to write more -

- have they reported him, doesn't sound like it -

- what language were they chanting in, anyone know that at least -

- do they have other circles out -

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Hose wielder.

No.

If he looks a lot: mangled Sanskrit.

Nope.

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The rest of the circles out for him were nice ones. He takes those.

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Fans! Some people planning a protest who want him along!

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He will totally attend a protest!! What are they protesting?

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Daeva escort laws! Protest signs include "My Angel Coworker Likes Lunar Metal Concerts! Help!" and "Why, So You Can Shoot Me?" and "My Twelve Year Old Can Go To The Mall Alone, Why Can't My Fairy".

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Minor is delighted to attend this protest. He adds helpfully that Godspring and Valinor and Endorë don't have daeva escort laws.

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He should make a sign about that!

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Can they think of a good slogan?

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Not really but they don't all have to be funny.

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When's the protest?

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Tomorrow! They don't want to break the law while protesting it so someone with the protest will have to summon him.

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That makes sense but he often has kind of a lot of circles open and sometimes gets kidnapped so he can't promise he'll make theirs tomorrow. It'd help if they give him an exact time to look for it.

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So they do that.

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He endeavors not to get kidnapped by taking randoms, which are less likely to be kidnappings.

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None of his randoms are kidnappings at all. Elves are giving out demonic meat in an orc city to demonstrate that it's just as tasty, would he like to do that? And do the parts of this task that involve looking at orcs maybe they are having some trouble with that.

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Yeah sounds like a much better plan than torturing CEOs. 

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The Elves will be happy to sing to him as payment!

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Orcs get demonic meat! Guaranteed literally atom-for-atom identical to the kind from dead animals!

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Orcs enjoy it and keep asking if he wants to hold any babies since it's so sad daeva can't have them.

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He's okay, thanks. 

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The city is crowded enough that they could keep finding new tasters for days straight but the Elves will understand if he wants to go home.

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He'll stay until it's time to go to the daeva protest.

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And the circle is... five minutes late.

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But friendly?

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If he pauses to check he'll lose track of which one it was!

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He takes it.

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It's them. "Hey! Sorry I'm late, lost track of time in the shower!"

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Exhale. "No worries!"

 

His sign says 'Treat Us As People.'

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"Okay great come march in exchange for... uh, an escort to the march?"

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Giggle. "Deal."

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"Woo!" She picks up her sign ("Mollie Clymer Died In Vain") and shows him to the subway, which takes them to the march site.

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"Who's Mollie Clymer?"

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"She was next to a fairy who was threatening somebody and someone thought she was the summoner, because the summoner would have to be escorting the fairy, right, and killed her."

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"Fuck." Marching!

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"Also the fairy didn't actually hurt anyone he just told off somebody for yelling at their kid."

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"Did the murderer get in trouble -"

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"Yeah."

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Sigh. "When Ganymede was trying to arrest me for the vlog I thought about showing up for the trial unbound with my summoner back home in Hazel but Cam said probably hundreds of people would die in riots. I'm not going to risk anybody but - that's not a very stable way for the world to be, at all, dunno how to make it better..."

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"Who's Cam?"

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"My brother's boyfriend, he grew up here - he's a demon now - and he pays a lot of attention to daeva incidents and stuff."

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"Why?"

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" - because people dying is bad and we want to know if there are better procedures or laws or whatever that would prevent it?"

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"Does he have a vlog too?"

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"Cam? Nah. I could ask him to appear on mine, would you want to ask him something?"

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"No, just wondering."

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"I think I'm the only demon to try the vlog thing and considering how many people tried to kidnap me as a result I sorta wouldn't recommend it. Cam's cool, though. He helped me through demon med school after I got this one horrible summons to the site of an accident and I decided I needed to know how to help people..."

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"Huh, I don't think people use medical demons very much."

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"They don't, angels are better for most things you'd need to do, the emergency I got summoned to angels would probably still have been better but they didn't have a list of people with qualifications or time to wait for one. But we can do a fair bit if you're in a bind."

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"Like what?"

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"Uh, one of the things I was learning how to do was safely administer drugs, the New Guinea summons there were people trapped under a building and we did amputations and replacements - which sucks but it works - blood transfusions you have to know exactly what you're doing, same with patching wounds, but it's possible -"

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"Wow. Was it hard or is it easy if you're a demon since it's magic -?"

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"The amputations were really easy, I didn't need to know anything at all about what I was doing for that. Just - that person should have a leg now. And I couldn't talk so I couldn't offer to give them painkillers first."

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"...ow."

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"Yeah. That's why I wanted to learn it, for the next time, so that if they did let me talk I could be sure I knew what to do -"

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"We don't think anybody'll get hurt at this protest but if they did what do I need to do so you can do stuff?"

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"You could just say 'help them and I'll tell you my favorite book', that counts as renegotiating and should mean that medical aid is sufficiently task-relevant presuming it's allowed by the binding at all -"

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"Okay. ...but I don't have a favorite book, I'm bad at picking favorites."

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"'A book you like' works fine too. Lying to me about your favorite book would mean we had to renegotiate it again for me to go home but I don't actually know what would happen if you just had several favorites and had to pick one, I really doubt that'd be a problem."

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Giggle. "All right."

March ensues!

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Demon marches!

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He is not the only daeva they've summoned to march, but he is the only demon.

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He will flare his wings and be very conspicuously a demon! 

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The protest is peaceful start to finish, although it does divert some ground traffic and they get yelled at about that. More signs include "Way To Kill Half Revelation's Efficiency Gains" and "If The Binding's Broken A Babysitter Won't Fix It" and "Recall Trausch! Vote Krier!".

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He will inquire about the relevant politics.

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His summoner tells him that he's in Luxembourg ("is that weird not knowing where you are?") and they are having this protest now because an election's coming up and the incumbent is very much in favor of escort laws, which are up for reexamination in the EU in a few months.

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" - ooooh. Are there other election-related things it'd be useful to have me doing -"

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"Um, like what?"

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"Uh, don't know - I really don't know how elections get conducted these days - pay a fairy to fly campaigners around to talk to people? Make you leaflets? Save people grocery trips?"

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"You should talk to Felicie about that."

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"Who's that?"

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"She organized this, she'd know where you're useful."

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So he goes and finds her and asks how he can help with the EU's reexamination of escort laws.

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"Ooh - what's your availability -"

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"I'm not really in the middle of anything I couldn't do on a long-term summons here - small chance thing's'd come up..."

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"Right but Gerlinde can't go around with you everywhere and we're trying not to break the law. Yet. So you'd have to bop around some."

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"Then I can try to stop by every couple days or something but I'd probably take summons in the meantime and people sometimes don't let me go."

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"Like those Loonies?'

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"Yeah or there was this weird cult in Canada, I was a little worried the GCP was going to take that one as another chance to try to arrest me."

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"...why would they arrest you over a cult kidnapping you?"

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"After a couple of days of being continuously attacked with a flamethrower one of them stepped too close and I dragged him into the circle and was scary and then they let me go. If you don't consider keeping a daeva kidnapping and you don't consider attacking a daeva with a flamethrower assault then you probably think that warrants menacing charges or something."

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"A flamethrower? Holy shit. Maybe Gerlinde can go everywhere with you after all."

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"It was painful but I really do heal fine, being trapped is scarier than being hurt. I checked, they're not bothering anyone else. Is there an exception if the daeva's in their circle or something, the moon guys didn't supervise me -"

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"Yeah, in the circle is allowed. I wonder how hard it would be to make a circle for you literally the size of Luxembourg! That would be a heck of a stunt."

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"...ooooh. Even if it were just a full room that'd do, I could stay in when she had somewhere to be. But that would be a good stunt."

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"I know, right - maybe you could just get up high and make it -"

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"If it's flat enough, sure, easy. Might want to triple-check that terrain features don't invalidate part of the binding - I know someone who might know that -"

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"Yeah, good thing to check."

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"I'll ask when I get home."

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"Awesome. You have regular email access, right - how do you even do that -"

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"Secret. But yeah I do."

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"Okay, so here's my email, lemme know when you've figured out if the Circle of Luxembourg is go."

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"I will!" And he asks his summoner if he can get her anything before he goes home.

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"...how vague can I be, I had this pastry this one time that was absofuckinglutely divine but I have absolutely no memory of what it was, like, called."

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"That's probably too vague but if you know when I could go off that."

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"I can figure it out if you gimme a minute to go through my vacation photos." Rummage rummage. "Lunchtime last year July 17."

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Pastry! Ten of them, even.

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Chomp "omigod thank you."

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"For sure! See you later!"

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"See you!"

Dismiss dismiss.

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And he writes home and goes home and gives Miranda her presents and asks Cam about Circle Luxembourg.

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"It's a cute idea but it's not going to work, it has to be pretty close to flat. If you can find a rotary or a beltway that might work, I don't know off the top of my head if Luxembourg has any."

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Well, they can check.

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Luxembourg is kind of mountainous but there is a large public square type thing in the middle of Luxembourg City which could hold quite a lot of circle.

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He sends off an email explaining this.

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Gerlinde would love to complete a circle like that, can he make most of it for her? If she dismisses him after completing it will it still count as live?

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Yeah, circles made while he's on a summons are still around when he gets home but if he has a bunch of them again he wouldn't be able to tell which one's hers.

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She could do it right after instead? She's a little concerned someone will notice it and damage it.

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That's a concern even if she finishes it, if someone then breaks it before he grabs it it won't be there. He could easily get materials that won't come up easily but then the city seems likely to be annoyed with him.

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It just has to take a little doing, not necessarily a lot of doing. So like, not chalk, but water-soluble paint?

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He can totally do a circle in water-soluble paint. When?

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She picks out a time selected for maximum audience.

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He takes a summon at the right time.

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It's Gerlinde in an alleyway near the square. "Hi!"

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"Hi! All set?"

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"Yup!"

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"You have to offer me a deal."

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"Oh, right. Make yourself a big circle like we talked about and I'll tell you the last book I read."

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"Done!" And he does that. The binding is exquisitely legal so they will not stress out their anticipated very large audience. 

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"It was A War of Lilies," she says, and dismisses him.

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- and he waits -

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There!

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Demon!

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And Gerlinde assigns him to make people stuff in exchange for being told the last book she read again, then bids him goodbye since the point is she technically doesn't need to be here while he's in his circle. Felicie can call her if he needs to go.

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And Minor spreads out his wings and makes himself a little chair and sits in the middle of Luxemborg's square.

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Several people think he's an art installation until Felicie is done putting up signs. ("This square is his circle!" "His summoner is nowhere to be found! Oh no, he might give you your shopping unsupervised!") Some people tentatively ask him for things.

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He makes them things!!

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He eventually attracts crowds. Apparently he's all over the Luxembourg Shortform feeds.

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He is such a well-behaved unsupervised demon. He will make people their shopping lists and flap his wings and say if asked that he doesn't think daeva need to be accompanied.

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Felicie talks politics with anybody who wants to talk politics. No, she isn't his summoner, she's a protestor. People start experimenting with how big the stuff he'll make can be. Will he make this person a shuttle? Is he willing to leave the circle and come make stuff other places? How did he get involved in this?

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"I can't leave the circle, that'd be breaking the law. I don't think a shuttle here now would help the crowds any, maybe if you come back when it's less busy. I want the EU to reconsider laws about being accompanied because I want daeva treated more like other people in general."

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It's weird that he can talk. Isn't he that demon on Sesame Street. How long will he be here.

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Yeah he has a part on Sesame Street. Gagging demons makes summoning them less safe, he can explain why at length. He'll be there for most of the day.

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This person's kid watches Sesame Street Luna because she's addicted to Sesame Street and can't get enough of Sesame Street EU. She will be so excited. He goes and gets her and she wants Minor to pick her up.

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Awwwwwww. He'd offer to fly around with her but that might count as leaving the circle.

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Also it might strain the dad's willingness to let him pick her up, which as it is only lasts a minute. She wants a cookie like the one he gave Cookie Monster.

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Cookie!

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She eats it messily and makes Cookie Monster noises and hugs his leg and lets her dad pull her away.

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Awwwwwwww. He can't quite fathom being terrified of demons and letting your kids eat cookies made for them but it's a perfectly safe cookie and maybe Dad got something valuable out of the whole thing. 

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The square continues to be crowded with people who want free stuff they don't have to trade for! Towards the end of the day he is swarmed by an entire university history department.

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History departments must be so happy about demons. 

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They aaaaaare! A student of indigenous American history hugs him and weeps!

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Minor is really enjoying this protest event thing.

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Felicie is having a lovely time too!

Gerlinde comes back after dinnertime. "How's it going?"

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"Awesome! I don't know if we changed any minds but hopefully people'll at least think about it."

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"Oh, and I put a picture of my pastry on the extranet and it's called a gooey bun, apparently, and the one I had was almond."

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"Want some more of them?"

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"Apparently they come in so many flavors, I have a list." Here is her list.

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Here are her pastries!

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She bounces. "Thanks! Okay, you wanna go home now?"

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"Guess I probably should. Thanks! Let me know if you need anything else!"

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"I will! You are the best demon!"

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"Dunno, I know some pretty amazing demons." 

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"I bet you're still best!" Chomp.

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He doesn't say "I know Revelation" because that is very not his secret. He goes home.