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In Godspring, there appears a winged girl.

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Two years ago this would have caused astonishment and possibly terror in this tiny hamlet of a hundred people on a river on the edge of a forest, but times have changed and now a small child pulls out a cell phone and tries to get a picture - "look, it's an angel -"

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...yup that's her. An angel. Excuse her, she is lost. (Writing disappears from the sheaf of papers she's touching in her bag.) Do they know who she should go talk to about the immortality thing?

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"You're an angel so you're all set," the girl says impatiently. "Angels can't be dying, Satya was suspicious so he stabbed one and she got scratched but she was fine - an' the Elves took him away because they were mad -"

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"The Elves?"

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"You don't know the Elves? They're tall and pretty and they live forever even without becoming daeva and they bought all the slaves and shoot everyone with needles every year so the babies don't get sick?"

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"Oh, those, I must have misheard. Everybody else just has to become daeva?"

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"Yeah. I summoned and Lise summoned and they sent Illa home because he's three and couldn't hold the button a whole minute."

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"I'm lost, can you point me where they sent Illa home from?"

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"The dot." She doesn't point. "You can't summon, you're an angel."

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"You don't think they'll be able to help me get unlost?"

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"Oh they'd probably do that." Point. "It's where the river curves."

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"Thanks!"

She takes off, lands out of sight to write some things down, takes off again and goes to the dot.

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It's a sleek white metal thing, with walls that one can see through. There's a long line of people.

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She looks through the walls to see what they are doing.

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The Elves are taller than anyone else, and dressed differently, and graceful. They walk a person up to some sort of control on the wall and press shiny lights in a sequence. Then the person flips a switch and then - nothing. 

 

A while later a winged person appears. They have some kind of exchange and then the winged person vanishes.

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Hm. Well, there's no hiding her wings, which are probably why people think she's an angel. What happens if she hangs out in the trees over here till sundown?

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The lines get shorter and eventually everyone has been seen. Most of them leave. Some stay; some of the ones who stay are clearly pleading for something or other. One person gets agitated and goes flying through the air and gets gently set down some distance away.

 

After that everyone disperses.

The Elves come outside and start singing. 

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Prospects for sneaking in?

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There's someone outside the building doing security. It has three sets of doors, all presently locked.

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Are they looking, if she just appears inside -? She'd rather not...

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Security seems to be looking outside, not in; the Elves are looking in all different directions.

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The Elves can probably alert the security. Damn.

She goes and catches up with the disgruntled people leaving.

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"Do you have medical qualifications?" asks one of the disgruntled people leaving.

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"No, I'm sorry."

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Sigh. "Their kids don't die, they can't understand. They can look for the spot on their script where it says 'I'm sorry' but they can't understand, they don't die - I guess you don't either. But Lara does, and she might, and they're all 'we'll try to get a whitemage if she gets sicker' -"

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"A whitemage?"

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" - where are you from, you look Cefaxi -"

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"I just look that way, I'm not from around here at all."

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"I thought everywhere sprang whitemages. Uh, they do healing. Normal folks can't afford it but the Elves sure could if they pleased."

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"Where would they get one?"

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"The nearest Temple-Guild's in Helar, or I'd take her myself, try to sneak in or something."

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"They don't have very good security?"

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"I bet they have a fairy just like the dots do but it's better than sitting at home waiting."

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"Can you make them heal her, or -?"

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"Hmm? No, no, white's not like silver, but there are whitemage kids and if I could talk to them I bet I could convince them."

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"I don't really understand how this all works, I'm really not from around here." Pause. "Is it that she's little? Could I carry her, if taking her to Helar would help?"

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"- the reason the Elves won't help is that she's little, yeah. They've got their rules, there's more at stake than our little mortal lives, you know. They don't approve of slavery, but they sure weren't going to end it faster than it said on the plan. Lara's sick, but she can't hold down a button and we couldn't dare inconvenience a daeva. You could carry her to Helar but I don't think it'd be good for her to be separated from us. I could summon a fairy to do it but I'm banned from summoning..."

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"Oh no!"

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"No one even got hurt. Paranoid pansies, that's what they are."

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"How do mages work?"

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"If you step in a godspring before you're six years old one of the gods chooses you and you become a mage. The springs here run white and green and silver and bronze, but it's different everywhere. And then you can do a kind of magic. Some of the kinds stay when you become a daeva but some of them go away - whites go away - anyway, they live at the temple-guilds because they need a lot of help, and they sell their services, and ordinary people can't afford it. These days I think it's mostly the Elves buying things up, though they say they don't mean to."

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"Which way is Helar?"

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Gesture. 

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"I hope Lara feels better."

Takeoff.

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Mostly uninhabited or sparsely inhabited plains and valleys. Along the river there are occasional towns; the towns mostly have dots.

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She confirms that dots are all about the same and continues till she sees something that might be a temple-guild.

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It's walled, and there are children playing. Everybody seems to be uniformed.

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And color coded!

What happens if she lands on the wall and watches?

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Someone with bug wings who can apparently fly zips over after a little while. "Hey," he says. "Looking for someone?"

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"Waiting for someone, forgot to specify where, thought this might be a good guess as where they might look for me. It's a landmark."

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"Okay. If you want to enter the temple-guild you hafta go through the main gate, it's over there."

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"I wasn't going to go in. How do mages work?"

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"Uh, so, they take kids and dip 'em in the magic fountains and the kids get powers - there's an associated religion but as far as I can tell it's as unsubstantiated as the Earth ones? And the powers vary but they come with serious drawbacks, usually like mindfuckery of some kind. And these places spring up around a godspring and sell mage services and take care of the mages who are fucked up from having done too much magic."

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"Fucked up how?"

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"I'm just security, sorry, dunno. Like, they lose their memory, or they lose all their senses, stuff like that?"

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"Yikes."

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"Yeah it's kinda fucked up."

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"Why's it have to be kids?"

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Shrug. 

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"And there are more springs? I didn't realize there were a bunch of them, maybe I should check some more for my friend before I just park at one."

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"Nah, this is the only one in Helar, they're pretty spaced out."

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"Oh, like how far?"

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"Dunno, I think there's like a hundred in the whole world?"

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Nod. "What do the mages here do?"

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"Uh, I think they've got white, green, silver, and bronze, here? Whites do healing, greens do - conditioning? Like, giving you instincts or changing how averse you feel to something, stuff like that. Dunno what the green drawback is, the white drawback is that their immune system's really weak and they're sick their whole lives and then die young. No idea how the other two work."

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Nod. "If my friend doesn't find me here I'll want to check other landmarks, what else is there around here?"

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"No idea, sorry, I don't leave the premises. You could ask at the dot?"

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"Thanks."

She "waits" for another hour, writing things down and looking plausibly impatient, and then takes off again. Lands by a random person not in one of the mage uniforms, asks if they've seen her friend, he's yea high doesn't look at all local he's an angel too, he said he was going to find somewhere to learn things about mages but the Temple-Guild doesn't have him?

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They haven't seen her friend and have no idea where aside from a temple-guild or a dot one might learn about mages. Someone suggests she could look it up online.

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Gosh where does she do that.

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...on a phone? Or at a dot?

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Right of course thanks it's just she was so tired of all the singing but her friend is probably at a dot off she goes.

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Miscellaneous additional people ask about her medical qualifications.

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She's very sorry but she doesn't have any. Where does she look things up online?

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Those big glowy screens over there! Maybe it's supposed to be obvious how to operate them.

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She will make a very convincing show of finding this obvious until she has pieced it together.

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Then she can get more accurate descriptions of types of magic, what they do, what the drawbacks are, and where they're found. And of the three types of daeva - angels, fairies, demons - and what they do, and that they are summoned at a dot and summoning one makes you become one when you die.

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...and everyone thinks she can't summon because she's an angel so they won't let her -

- but -

Hmmm where is she relative to that godspring, is it more efficient to fly or -

Nope she'll need the oomph for a teleport.

She writes down lots of facts from the computer and then flies off somewhere nobody's looking and forgets them all.

She lands in the water.

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And the water runs black.

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That is not the one she had in mind but it is still pretty good. She gets out and quietly sings the humidity low enough till she's all dried off of glowing water and then acts casual and goes out.

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In countries where the springs turn blackmages the dots are configured differently; you summon a daeva behind a wall. This is a little bit revealing all by itself; it means that there's something blackmages could see. And she is not very confined to the country where she started.

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She is not.

She flies to a different dot.

She looks.

(Blackmages' drawback is intrusive, worthless facts. They hit her brain a little more forcefully than she was expecting. Fifty-seven years ago exactly 600,328 raindrops occupied just exactly such an altitude over a period of six hours above this square mile. It's as obvious as pain, more obvious than what she's actually trying to look at, if these kept accumulating she could see how she'd lose the ability to function, but she can sing it away, and she does.)

(She copies out the circle onto her paper, sings gone information about the density of magma fifty miles belowground to translate it.)

(She looks at things and listens to things and writes down things until she has enough to go home.)

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A banner on his site urges readers in the EU to vote against escort laws. He and Theodore race dragons under yet another banner screaming "DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!" He comes up with, and advises various authorities of, more exploits - some phrasings of 'don't affect the area outside your circle except by being visible' allow for illusions -

- and he takes summons, of course. He doesn't have every language in Godspring yet.

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While taking random summonses Minor appears on a beach in a circle drawn in sand, summoned by some guy with wings.

The language is weird as fuck.

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"Hi," he tries to say. - he knows enough of the language to know he did not successfully say it, which is weird. 

 

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The guy laughs at him and sings something. He can't quite understand it either - he can sort of guess - if he assumes it's about his accent that narrows it down -

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"Where is this?" he endeavors to sing.

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More laughter. There are no buildings. The circle looks to have been drawn with a stick. There's some giant eggs on the beach with colorful shells, like mother of pearl. And he's back in Hell.

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- scale model of the planet, a size that can fit in his arms?

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Water and islands.

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Scale models of all daeva who've ever been summoned there?

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Couple dozen so far.

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- life-size model of the giant eggs, in colored glass, what hatches from them -

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Winged people!

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Need a ride home right this second, he writes Cam and Amriac.

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Here's one.

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He snags it gratefully.

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Wrong one. This appears to be Austria.

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He blinks at the guy. He tries to talk - can't - tries to write on the ground - can't - glances at the binding to check that all other forms of symbolic communication are out - yep -

- stomps his feet and gestures as urgently as he can -

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"Don't look so indignant. My little girl is gone, you have no right to complain."

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He doesn't have the flashcards on him. 

 

He takes a deep breath. He nods. He sits down quietly. Maybe the guy just wants to lecture him.

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Nope. The guy wants to throw a brick at his head and stomp away.

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Minor curls his wings around himself and thinks.

 

 

He thinks for a while.  He imagines explaining to Miranda.

 

 

He wants to think longer, think more, but he's not having new thoughts.

 

 

And then he makes himself invisible, shrinks the circle, tears off a sleeve of his shirt and Transfigures it into a bird with broken wings. 

He sets the bird just outside the decoy circle. It shrieks in agony. 

Minor is crying.

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The guy stomps back out. Looks like Minor's in a backyard, the bird could be heard from the house.

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There's no demon in the circle somehow he must have escaped please dismiss him please dismiss him -

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Nope. Frowning, rereading the binding, mercy-killing the bird...

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Petrificus Totalus -

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Guy keels over, eyes wide.

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Minor goes visible. Pulls him into the circle. Stares down at him and waits - come on come on come on -

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He might be trying but he looks pretty panicked. Might not.

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He curls his wings tightly around himself and waits and waits - 

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Guy keeps rolling his eyes desperately houseward, maybe expecting help.

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Binding won't even let him do it cleanly. He can stun him first, though.

 

Minor goes to Hell.

need another one, he writes Cam. 

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He has mail accumulated.

Where are you?

What happened???

Vienna????? Sit tight Findekáno's en route

Here's another

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And home - "pause Hell I think that means you have to pause everywhere but pause Hell -"

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...the circle in the corner fills in.

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Minor collapses on the floor. "There's a world where people hatch from eggs and they're summoning daeva for the immortality - started today - they'd done a couple dozen when I got one - the eggs are right there being really obvious stunningly pretty large eggs people'll make 'em just out of curiosity -"

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"Shit. Were you the only demon -"

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"No and there would've been more last couple hours -" he makes models of all the daeva who've been summoned to that world again -

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Just two new ones, both fairies.

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He curls up and numbly conjures for confirmation that Hell is paused.

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It is.

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"Minor -"

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"I killed my summoner I didn't know if you'd noticed it was urgent or if Cam was around to get a door to Revelation or what the wait time for a fairy was with a new world summoning -"

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He doesn't look at them. He starts conjuring for valid circles on the eggs planet, what was the first one -

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This one's on paper.

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"It's the Godspring standard binding."

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"Where's Bright -"

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"Probably in Godspring which is presently paused."

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"Okay, opinions on spying on his mail in case anything that might have to do with this is in there?"

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"He'd be fine with it."

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Mail.

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Lots and lots of complaints and concerns and notifications of adjusted procedures and nothing at all explaining how a new world could be using paper bindings that look copied from Godspring's.

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"Maybe they have interdimensional transit and Elf-quality vision," he says. Scale model of the author of that first circle on eggs world?

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Angely person with claws.

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And models of her surroundings, jumping back a day at a time -

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Here she is on Godspring two days ago.

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He narrows the timeline down until he can tell how she jumped. "- yeah, they have interdimensional transit. Don't know how the targeting works or why she went for Godspring, she wasn't wearing anything protective so she must've been able to anticipate habitability - or maybe they'd done it before -" members of that species who'd been on Godspring ever? 

It's just her.

Been in any of the worlds known to them?

Still just her. 

"- so no, hadn't done it before. The interdimensional transit is itself a disaster once they become daeva -"

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"Somebody have an idea better than 'raise a hatchling and see if they can go there' please."

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"Should've grabbed some sand while I was there.  - some probably stuck to my shoes, I could go back to Hell and grab it, do you suppose that's sufficient?"

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"Might be. Have to unpause Hell to get the sand, have to unpause somewhere else to get a Vala..."

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"Hell could be a really brief trip, I go back there when dismissed and get another circle and grab the right one this time. And then Mingling's Arda, fill in the one circle and you can have it detached from everything else. - we can check if they're in the middle of drawing more circles on egg-world, check how much time we have -"

- has the woman who did the interdimensional travel drawn all the circles so far -

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Yes.

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What is she currently doing.

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Flying.

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"So they're not at this moment about to do another summons. Second problem, once we can portal to the world we still can't talk with them if they don't feel like it, she appears to be able to teleport at will. And we don't know what else the magic system can do."

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"The entire written corpus of the entire planet is less than a gigabyte and that's with the text stored as images because I don't have the character set."

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"I don't know what to make of that but in Milliways I can at least read it...

...it's weird and patchy factoids."

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" - I think I might go fly around a bit. Let me know when you have it figured out? Or if you need actually knowing the language for anything..."

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Cam turns his computer. "Did you get literacy, is it supposed to be little clusters of words in lots of whitespace?"

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"I got - a little bit of literacy? And it is not supposed to be that."

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"Okay. Go fly. - Do you want a hug -"

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Hug - "I waited and waited and waited I don't know why the fuck he wouldn't just let me go-"

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Hug.

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He goes outside and flies out as high as Milliways lets you.

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" - anyone made eggs in Hell yet -"

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Check - "Not yet."

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"So maybe we can contain it, just - sneak in and replace eggs with inert ones whenever anyone tries it until they conclude it doesn't go. Doesn't solve the interdimensional teleporting people, but - if they're friendly that could be an asset, a non-Milliways way to reach new worlds..."

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"...they might not be very friendly if we try to make them quit doing immortality."

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"- ask them to keep it to angels and fairies, explain why? Though there's still the fact we cannot contain a daeva one of them, if they keep the powers -"

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"Yeah. Maybe she's the only one with the powers? Doesn't say anything about them in the writing."

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"Not impossible."

Sigh.

"Where's Minor's summoner?"

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- "Fairyland."

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Wingput.

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Lean. "What's the sentence for murder - thirty, fifty years -"

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"Depends. Thereabouts."

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"Well that'll fuck him up spectacularly."

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"It's lower for underage perpetrators but it'd take some work to make that apply to daeva even now."

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Nod.

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"You don't strictly have to dismiss him."

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"If he wants to stay here and evade it I'd let him. But - I don't think it'd be right - I don't know what'd be right - it turns on a lot of questions that cannot even be safely raised in court -"

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"I suppose he could kill a volunteer Elf for immediate reembodiment and let them hash out the jurisdiction contention."

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"I don't actually see how that helps."

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"It'd get him out of a Ganymede trial without having to do the 'terrible secrets, can't have him tried here' thing but no it doesn't really help."

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"I honestly do not think he would be okay, or possible to get back to an okay state, after thirty years gagged."

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"Even with the soul Elves -?"

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"It's not the lack of conversation it's the inability to create or record or - think, I think my father and Minor think on paper -"

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"- drawing?"

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"Honestly if we decide he should take the prison summons I think the best option is just to keep him unconscious."

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Hug.

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"Want to yell at the summoner but that probably won't help at all."

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"Yeah."

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Elsewhere someone else is less deterred from yelling at Minor's summoner by the fact it is a bad idea. He finishes the circle.

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Fairy. Confused fairy.

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"Hi, asshole. I'm just going to throw a brick at your head and then leave you here indefinitely, you can let me know when you start feeling like you'd totally kill me to go home, it'll be educational."

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"I - wh-"

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"My. Little. Brother. Was in the middle of handling an emergency with thousands of lives at stake this afternoon, when the summons he thought was going to get him where he was needed to help instead took him to your house. Remember that? I've never heard anyone mention that dying affected their memory."

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Silent overwhelmed fairy.

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Theodore throws a brick at his head and then leaves.

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"- ow -"

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"By which I'm sure you mean 'it has just occurred to me that doing that is wrong, convey my apologies to your brother?"

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Now the fairy is crying.

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He leaves.

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"Wait, please - is that all you want, I can apologize, I -"

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SIgh. "I want peoples' lives not to have been pointlessly ruined in the first place. If you have an idea about how to fix it by all means go ahead."

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"I d- how would I -"

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He sits down and puts his head in his hands. "I don't know. If I knew I'd be doing that instead of this. I - look, Minor didn't want to hurt you, he's fucking miserable over it, he'd have sat there gagged and terrified and miserable for weeks if it'd only been his own life at stake - 

- you could just go home?"

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"Please?"

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"I don't mean to Fairyland, that fixes none of my problems. I mean you could just go home to Vienna and go about your life like you didn't kidnap a teenager in the middle of an emergency and then refuse opportunity after opportunity to stop kidnapping him." 

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"I thought my wife was - there's escort laws -"

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"How often do people check if people they know are suddenly and inexplicably a fairy though."

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"I don't know."

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"So if you want we can go downstairs and walk out the front door and you're back home, and we clean up the body and I don't care if you tell your wife and I don't care if Austria mails me citations for not accompanying a daeva of mine, what I care about is that two people have a shitty and traumatizing afternoon instead of having permanently ruined lives. Do you see what I mean? Because if you ruin Minor's life I will absolutely unambiguously without any regrets ruin yours but I can at least acknowledge that that's worse than if I don't have to do it."

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"I - think I follow -"

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"So go home and don't try to get him circled and then I have nothing to be pissed off at you for."

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"If - if my wife already -"

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"Then that's not your fault but because of magic timefuckery it's only been like twenty seconds back home since you died so maybe we can spare her the experience."

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"- okay."

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"You can take me to Vienna and promise not to kidnap my little brother or ruin his life and in exchange I will give you this." He hands him a miniature dragon; it bites. "Deal?"

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"Ow!"

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...the fairy looks at the model dragon and at Theodore and says softly, "Deal."

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Downstairs they go.

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"Is that -?"

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"I figured you guys would be moralizing or moping or making out or some combination thereof and so if anybody wanted to just suggest sorting the whole thing out it'd hafta be me." He gestures at the door.

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"What's the arrangement -?"

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"Uh, family is happily reunited and does not engage in further kidnappings or arrange for any children to serve a life sentence in Ganymede over this one?"

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"...So, you're not going to press charges?" Cam asks the fairy.

The fairy shakes his head meekly.

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"...okay. Good. Uh, nicely done."

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"Thank you. You hafta open the door," he says to the fairy, "if I do it'll go to my house instead of yours."

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The fairy opens the door.

His wife looks up from her computer and sees the bar and shrieks.

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"Sophie, Sophie, it's all right, I'll explain," he says, rushing through and letting the door shut behind him.

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He makes a move to go through also.

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" - don't, everything's paused."

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"Oh, okay." He watches the door swing shut.

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The fairy's explanation is cut short.

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"What'd you do?"

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"Threw a brick at his head."

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"...well, the result is elegant."

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"You're welcome." He goes back upstairs.

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He leans into Cam and sighs.

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Hug. "I should go catch Minor and tell him probably."

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"Yeah, good idea."

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Cam goes out back and takes off to catch up to Minor.

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He sees him coming, circles. "Hey."

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"Theodore summoned your summoner and convinced him not to press charges and sent him home to Vienna."

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 "- oh. That's good. Is he okay?"

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"He looked kind of freaked out but more in an overwhelmed way than a traumatized way?"

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"Don't know why he didn't - I dragged him into the circle and then stood there. For ten minutes. With a wand on him - you'd think -"

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"Don't know. Well, he wouldn't have recognized the wand, but even so."

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"I think the idea was clear without the wand, yeah." Sigh. "Would've turned myself in. People shouldn't be scared their daeva will murder them."

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"Well. People shouldn't be scared their summoners will trap them, either. Ugly situation. He's back with his wife, he's all right."

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"Now we just have to stop the dimension-hopping egg people."

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"Yeah. That's still a problem. But you're not facing down Ganymede while we work on it, okay?"

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Nodnod. Sigh. "Should've checked the rate they were doing summons first so I knew how badly the minutes mattered - should've checked if there were already eggs in Hell, too -"

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"I would have panicked too. It might turn out to be nothing, maybe they're developed enough by the time the shells harden that they can't actually be made as minds or something, but we don't know."

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"Yeah." Sigh. "I would still rather never have killed anyone. Them being back and okay doesn't quite -"

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"Yeah. I know."

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Minor angles downwards. "So let's try to piece together the adventures of the egg rogue, shall we?"

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"Sounds like a plan."

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He's making a list when they get back inside. Demons who went to egg world, and subsequent conjurations. A minute-by-minute of egg rogue's travels, so they can determine how often she teleported and whether it seemed to require any preparation and what sorts of trips she'd fly in preference to teleporting. Whether she'd been to dimensions besides Godspring. Whether other inhabitants of her planet had.

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These four demons besides Minor have been to egg world. They have made ordinary things like breakfast and computer chips and sofas and letters to their friends ("new summons didn't even offer me anything for my time, it's still really hit and miss"). One of them copied an egg person's jewelry, which may be made out of eggshell but doesn't contain any embryos.

Egg rogue does not teleport frequently and preferred to fly medium sized distances. She takes a lot of notes, or seems to - the paper appears blank or very sparse when conjured. She talked to several people. She has only been home and to Godspring and she's the only egg person who has left home.

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"I think it's likelier there's something magic about the paper than that it's that sparse."

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"We can conjure the paper, it's the writing we can't get..."

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"Okay, something magic about the writing - something's just not adding up -"

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"Yeah. We also don't have a good way to get there even if we figure out what's going on, if the sand from Minor's shoes doesn't cut it - I guess the wait time's enough that taking randoms next time they start up could do it but then we can only stay a minute and might not get anything more than sand."

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"Could go wearing a sign that says 'what you're doing is incredibly dangerous please hear us out' but only if they summon another demon, last couple have been fairies."

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"I do not have enough corpus to even begin to guess how to write that. Who'd the egg rogue summon, maybe hers got it..." Check. Some fairy.

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"Could ask that fairy but I don't want people thinking 'oh cool another world' and then mentioning it -"

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"Yeah, but that cat may already be out of the bag. Pretty eggs, totally bizarre language, new worlds are still a relatively novel phenomenon and if the fairy thinks she's the first to be there she might want to cash in on talking about it while the getting's good..."

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Nod. "So summon her, try to get the language, then what if the next one they summon's not a demon -"

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"Harder to get an angel or fairy on board usefully. They can't conjure the newest circle. Might have to let a few more summonses go by before we can get in. If the summoner can't read the sign and the egg rogue is not there, though, that doesn't get us much."

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"The egg rogue's drawing them all, if we get it fast enough she might have to be there."

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"She can teleport. She doesn't seem to have been teleporting around at home so far, but that could change."

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"Leave the sign? Or - is there a loophole in that binding if one happens to be a wizard -"

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"The Godspring version hedges that out preemptively just so they don't have to change it after we do Hazel."

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"Smart but momentarily inconvenient."

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"Yes. Where's your Hell door, is it near your sand or would you have to be dismissed and resummoned again..."

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"Should be to near there, I can check -"

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"Do we have any better prospects?"

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"Did she drop anything in Godspring?"

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"Oh good question -"

A lot of conjuration later: "Seashells from the food she brought, apparently."

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"Sounds better than trying to go off sand."

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"Quite. Okay, do we have any better ideas than fetching shells and getting portaled to egg person world to... what do we even say to her? The circles are obviously for immortality, do we have to say 'your friends and family all have to die because of vague bad actors in another dimension who might hatch some of you'..."

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"It's not even just that, we also really can't have them all daevafy if they all have the interdimensional teleport, and if it's transmissible we need to keep a lid on it beyond that - we could have a Vala make them unaging -"

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"Might be a good enough substitute. If the problem isn't a plague or something."

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"Problem is they don't really have any particular reason to compromise."

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"Well, they might not like the idea of unvetted demons hatching their eggs either."

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"Hopefully not - would it really not have occurred to them, if they were in Godspring long enough to learn everything else..."

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"I don't know. She wasn't there long enough to plausibly learn the language of one place, let alone everywhere she went, probably has magic translation, maybe it's costly and she wasn't thorough?"

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"I guess if there were people urgently dying it might seem more important to get it home than to know what you were doing with it."

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"Could have missed something irrelevant to her, like, 'demons can't normally make people', and assumed it didn't matter about the eggs..."

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"You'd think if you thought demons could make people you'd be hesitant about bringing your species to their attention, at least hesitant enough to stick to angels and fairies or not be around when the summons got answered..."

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"Well, we know nothing about the culture."

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"We don't! Can't even speak the language, I think it requires either better ears than I have or something magic..."

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"Do you know enough that you could invent separate writing for it?"

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" - maybe? Probably."

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"So it's not, like, conceptually magic."

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"No."

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"So something else is going on with the patchy writing..."

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"Maybe there's a separate magic alphabet for the teleportation?"

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"Can't rule it out. But she could read, she spent awhile at the computers..."

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"I have no idea. Does restarting Godspring restart Hell, you expect -"

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"Yeah, they'll have live circles."

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"So we should go for the seashells fast as we can."

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"Cage the dragons and get their fairy to give a ride?"

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"I'll go ask her."

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"I don't really mind but what's the emergency?"

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"Some new people landed in Godspring and are now summoning people with no idea what they're doing, we need to go find them and explain, like, basic safety stuff."

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So the fairy will give them a ride to the seashells and back from Cir's house.

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And then they can get a door to Mingling's Arda and ask a Vala for a portal, and open a circle for the fairy that the egg rogue summoned.

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The fairy shows up. "Good morning!"

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"Hi! Uh, weird question, did you get summoned by some winged people recently?"

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"Just one. Friend of yours?"

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"We want to say hi but we can't speak their language, it's all - singy?"

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"Ha, yeah, I can't speak it either! Maybe if I had one of those chip tone things."

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"Is the written version any better?"

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"Sure, it's a little fiddly but I got it good."

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"Would you be willing to write a note for me to pass on, that says 'what you're doing is really dangerous can we please talk -'"

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"What are they doing?"

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"Uh, they seem to have spied on summoning in Godspring and now they're doing it themselves, drawing in the sand, and we don't know if they know getting the bindings exactly is important and we're pretty sure they don't know that if they say something that sounds like agreement to a task -"

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"I'm not sure I could've understood her if she had, but yeah, okay. Got something I can write with?"

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"Yeah -" Paper and pencil -

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And the fairy scratches out the message.

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"Thank you! Can I get you something for your time?"

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"I'd take a chiplock installation, now that I think of it!"

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"Sure thing lemme get Cam." And he messages him on his computer.

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Cam turns up and performs the installation.

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Fairy can go home. And once a Vala can get them a portal - "who do we want to wave the note at egg rogue?"

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"We're assuming she'll take over translating, right, so it doesn't, like, need to be a teamup of a-Fëanáro-and-a-Macalaurë to figure out the language, so, a you for diplomacy, is there a reason not you specifically that we should get somebody else? Bright because Godspring or anything?"

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"If they react violently it might be convenient for it to be someone more resurrectable than I?"

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"Okay, are any more of you around or should we grab Bright?"

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"- I think Midnight's here? Though he's not more resurrectable."

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"...yeah I don't want to have to dip into limited Vala time to fish around Milliways for his soul. Where's Evening?"

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"Also in Godspring, I think. I can go, they haven't shown any signs of murderous intent yet..."

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"She's still in midair, we can probably afford a few minutes to grab a chipped you and then I do not have to attempt to teach you cellular biology while you are too hugged to have the use of all your limbs."

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Kiss. "All right. Evening'll probably be happier with things to do."

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So they get Ava to open the door to Godspring and the dragons fairy nips out to grab Evening. "Hey, Timothy needs you for something?"

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" - uh, okay. Back in Milliways?"

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"Yeah."

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"Can I have a ride?"

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"Yeah sure." Zoom.

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And he is caught up on egg rogue and is delighted to go meet her.

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She is still in flight.

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Well, now there's an Elf walking around on the beach she seems headed to, holding a sign that says 'what you are doing is very dangerous, can we talk?"

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......

that's interesting.

She circles him for a bit then lands.

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"Hi, I'm Maitimo. I'm hoping you have translation magic?"

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"I'm Tireh. Yeah." She pulls out her paper, she scribbles.

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....he waits. 

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"Go ahead, I can write while you talk."

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"The only people in Hell are demons. Demons are all indestructible. Demons - vary - and if there were vulnerable people in Hell some would aid them and some would kill them for fun and some would keep them as prisoners or torture them. The reason there are no other people in Hell is because demons can't make anything with a sufficiently developed mind. They can make species that hatch from eggs by making the eggs very early in development."

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"I can just do fairies then."

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"That will reduce the danger. Not eliminate it, because some fairy could write a demon and mention you, but reduce it. There is another source of danger. You can travel between dimensions; can all your people do that?"

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"Not yet."

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"As I am sure you know, they will become daeva when they die. If they can travel between dimensions, some of them will find it entertaining to go cause harm, and daeva who desire to cause harm can cause unthinkable harm, and there will be absolutely no way at all for anyone to stop them."

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"Do you have a better idea than letting us all die?"

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"Our gods could probably make you unaging."

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"That won't help if somebody gets eaten by a shark."

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"It won't."

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"Is it fast, the thing with the gods? Aging is most of the problem and I can look for something besides daeva in the time I was going to use sharing that."

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"How many people are on your planet?"

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"I don't know exactly. Thousands at least."

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Blink. "Then yes, they can do it quickly."

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"How'd you find me?"

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"One of the demons you'd summoned saw the eggs, realized the implications, and came to warn us."

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"How do the gods do their thing? Why aren't they doing it in the other world?"

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"They can touch people and make them live ten thousand times as long. There aren't many of them and they have to do it one-at-a-time, and Godspring didn't have any of the reasons it's dangerous to teach summoning. And Godspring has about a billion people."

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"That's a ridiculous number of people."

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"There are worlds with a lot more people than that. And one daeva who could jump dimensions and thought it would be funny could kill them all."

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"Okay. I have everybody who's already summoned written down if that helps."

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"Thank you. Hopefully they will all stay alive and then we won't need to worry about it at all. Do you know if the magic can be learned by people from other worlds?"

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"You probably would have noticed but I'm not sure."

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"How does it work?"

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"Songburning. You sing a fact and focus on an effect and you forget the fact and get the effect."

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"Huh. Any kind of effect?"

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"It only does weather and translation and transportation, at least so far - there's stories about translation being discovered after the other two, so there might be more concepts that work, but I don't know how to add them."

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"How do you teach it to children, is it intuitive?"

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"Pretty much."

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"May I try it?"

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"Sure. What are you going to burn?"

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"What sort of things count?"

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"Most things can count but some things are more efficient. Vocabulary words, where you found something, people's names, how many of something there are."

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Flinch. "I can look them up again afterwards, right?"

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"Yeah."

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So he writes down a few phrases in Martian Portuguese so he can read them again if he forgets them. "Do you have to sing them a specific way?"

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"That's how I discovered it works on writing, too. You'll erase the writing if you're holding it when you try, if it works."

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" - ah. Okay. Will I remember what I decided to forget?"

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"Depends how you phrase it."

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So he concentrates on the phrases of Martian Portuguese and wants a light breeze and sings them.

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Nothing happens.

"What were you trying to do?"

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"Breeze. It might just mean I'm not singing right, I will probably want to get a better singer to try before we conclude it doesn't work."

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"I don't actually know your language so I can't tell if you worded it badly or something. It's not about how prettily you sing."

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"We can do a few more trials later. Are there other things your world needs? Besides the fix to aging?"

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"The other world had lots of neat things but I didn't understand most of them well enough to know if they'd be useful to us."

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"What sort of things have your people invented - do you have metal, do you have fire..."

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"No, yes."

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"And writing, but only recently -"

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" - you come up with it?"

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Flap. "Mmhm."

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"You've accomplished kind of an astonishing range of things."

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"I wanted writing to relearn things I burned but then it turned out writing burns too and then I went for broke."

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"We have people stationed in Godspring, they'd have been able to help out with some of these problems."

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"They would've thought I was an angel and wouldn't have let me summon anyone and the people I talked to didn't think much of their willingness to handle irregularities."

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"All right. Well, if you'd like or if other people here would like lessons in how to develop the kinds of things they had on Godspring, we can offer those."

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"It'll probably get annoying to have to translate everything but that'd be nice."

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"I think we might be able to learn your language and we can certainly write in it -" he gestures at the sign.

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"Most people can't read."

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"Godspring was the same way. They'll get there fast."

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"I haven't had much luck. Maybe you'll make it seem more useful."

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"We've explained that once everyone's literate they can summon at home instead of having it all go through the dots. Can't use that as motivation here but we'll come up with something. Maybe the fact the rest of the multiverse can only communicate with you in writing will help."

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"Only if you seem interesting to communicate with. Plenty of people just aren't very curious."

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"I've never met anyone of your species before so I couldn't say."

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"Maybe everyone will get around to it if they have more time."

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"That we can do. I'll ask my colleagues to get a Vala over here right away."

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"That's the god?"

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"Yes."

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"It's not going to do anything extra, is it?"

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"Uh, if there are ongoing horrible things we are very likely to be moved to intervene in them, but the Valar will be transparent about what they're doing and default to leaving things the way people prefer them."

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"I don't know what things magic gods think are horrible."

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"In Godspring we objected to slavery and not-technically-slavery coercive mage arrangements, in Hazel we dismantled a prison where the prisoners were tortured by happiness-sucking monsters, in Revelation we took issue with the practice of rendering prisoners unable to write, speak, or use symbolic communication of any form..."

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"We don't have prisoners, like, in general, that's not a thing."

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"Us neither." Shiver. "Anyway, that's the sort of thing they've intervened with."

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"Is that the only thing they don't like?"

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" - that's the only thing where them not liking it would outweigh your being happy with it, if your people were happy with it. They will be distressed if you torture animals and they will be distressed if you have various kinds of coercive social arrangements but those they wouldn't tell you to stop."

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"Well, we eat animals."

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"Places vary a lot in how they are feasibly able to treat the animals before eating them."

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"We, like, fish them out of the sea? Then eat them? What else would we do?"

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" - uh, build lots and lots of stacked tiny cages to raise them in and breed them to grow very fast in those cages and cut off their appendages so they can't self-injure in the cages and douse them periodically with noxious chemicals that give them chemical burns because it's cheaper than cleaning the cages? That's a thing lots of places end up doing."

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"I'm not sure why you'd cage an oyster."

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"That's mostly for birds, do you not eat birds?"

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"We don't eat birds!"

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"Then this is yet another area where you and the Valar will not find yourselves at odds."

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Sigh. "Okay."

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"You can let us know if there are problems but I really do not anticipate any."

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"How do I get ahold of you without teleporting to a dot?"

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Address labels! "Write anything on this piece of paper."

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"How's that work?"

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"We have some demons working for us who already know about your world and can conjure regularly for mail addressed to them, which is what the characters at the top of the page are doing. - it looks like conjuring writing from your world doesn't get anything you've burned, so if you burn the contents of mail you send us this won't work."

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"Huh. Okay."

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"Pleasure to meet you."

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"You too."

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And he heads back over to the portal and through it into Milliways. "Egg rogue - her name is Tireh - seems an eminently reasonable person and agreed to stop it with the daeva if we give her a better mortality solution. A Vala can handle it, there's only thousands of them."

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She follows him and peers under his arm. "You've been calling me 'egg rogue'? And there might be more than that, I haven't counted, nobody has."

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"We've been calling you egg rogue and your world egg world but you are entitled to suggest other names, and encouraged to suggest ones that don't call attention to the thing that makes your world dangerous. Tireh, this is Timothy, Minor, Cam. You should also meet Ambela, she also invented writing in her world."

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"And Mingling's Fëanáro, he did too."

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"Beach," she says.

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"Lovely. This is Milliways. We don't usually portal directly here - there's a planet set up for portals, and we'll put one there for you - but talking to you before you summoned anyone sufficiently curious seemed urgent."

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"How come you don't portal here?"

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"This is a place where a dangerous person could do a lot of damage. The portal planet is designed to be much less of one."

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"You seem to have a lot of vulnerabilities lying around."

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"I agree. We have arrangements now to check for and detain interdimensional tourists."

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"That would've been fun."

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"If you'd happened to get a different demon there could be a million eggs in Hell right now." This is not strictly true because they'd have a goldmage jump once they noticed, but -

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"Maybe you should make that more prominent in your documentation in case people with six years to live come by looking for solutions."

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"Unfortunately calling attention to it might inspire people who otherwise wouldn't think about it."

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"Six years?"

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"Yeah? We're not immortal and I'm already four."

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" - how long are your years?"

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"Two hundred seventy-five days."

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"And days -"

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"Not that far off from the ones in the other world, I think."

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"- most mortal species live a lot longer than that."

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"Congratulations."

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"Like how much longer?"

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" - in my world Muggles live like eighty, ninety of your years, and wizards more than that. In Revelation where there's better health care everyone can live to a hundred twenty or so of your years."

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"What's a wizard?"

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"People who're magic. Most of us here are."

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"I picked up magic in the other world, but I didn't get the one that does life extension."

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"I didn't actually know there was a kind of Godspring mage that did that."

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"Purple. The tradeoff's not very good and we can't do anything about the drawback."

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"It might've given me time to find something. I like what I got though."

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"What'd you get?"

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"Black!"

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"- that one's down in our charts as 'temporary incredible senses, use costs buildup of mental background noise' -"

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"Yup!" Flap.

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"Oh, and you can sing and forget the background noise? Clever."

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Timothy is thoughtfully watching Tireh flap.

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"Yeah, it's really nice. Free useless burnables."

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"Did you think -"

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" - crossed my mind but at some point it almost seems - ah, provincial - to - you think so?"

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"Yup."

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"Think what?"

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"You're a Bell. It's a kind of person. They do things. Like become really furious about their species' lifespan, develop interdimensional transit, go to Godspring, become a mage, go home and teach literally everyone on their home world summoning before their fifth birthday, that's the kind of thing a Bell does."

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"If that's the kind of thing a Bell does, um, then I'm not sure how you doubted..."

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"I mean, none of the other ones have done that specific set of things, though giving magic to the masses seems like it's a bit of a theme."

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"A Bell is a more specific kind of person than that. Are you clumsy do you talk in your sleep did you pick the spring you did in part because redmagery is gross, that sort of thing."

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"This is a theme?"

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"Hate mindreading, have 'bel' in their name somewhere - that's why they're called that - write down their thoughts, like being the person making decisions -"

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"Don't use that part of my name."

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"- sorry?"

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"You didn't, it's okay, just don't start guessing where it is or anything? At least on my island everybody has three syllable names and you only use two except as an intimacy thing."

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"Okay. Anyway, there are apparently quite a few Bells out there and you really really remind me of the ones I know well."

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"I do talk in my sleep and so on!"

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"Congratulations, this entitles you to high-trust resource access! Confirm with Bar, she can tell by magic instead of going off trait correlations."

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She does. She is.

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Timothy is smug.

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Timothy is adorable.

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Timothy is quite confident that a comprehensive survey of all Bells will establish he got the very best one.

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Even though Cam had not accomplished anything at age four?

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Yep. (Kiss.)

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"So I'm supposed to conclude that you're another Bell?"

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"Yup, I'm Cam. If monosyllables mean something awkward you could call me Campbell."

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"Just means 'casual', you could call me Ti if you wanted."

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"The other Bells who will want to meet you are Ambela and Miranda and Bella; Kib might not."

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"I told Ambela."

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"Why might Kib not?"

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"He's traumatized, currently believes he's in a malicious hallucination of a class which includes lots of ostensibly ceasing to be in malicious hallucination range so he can't be convinced otherwise readily, and doesn't want to let his husband out of his sight for complicated related reasons."

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"Oh."

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"The person responsible is in a black hole now."

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"I don't know what that is."

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"Super, super dead."

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Mirelótë chooses this moment to come in from the backyard. "Hello! I'm Mirelótë Ambela, you must be Tireh."

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"Inconveniently, neither name has a really good two-syllable shortening."

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"...Lótë would work if that were important..."

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"It's not a big deal, don't worry about it, that's just how I want to be addressed."

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"Another you that invented writing."

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"Maybe that just happens automatically if we're born somewhere that doesn't have it."

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"Hatched."

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"Oh dear."

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"Yeah, that's been explained."

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"We're really lucky Minor happened to get one of the summons."

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"Has the situation been squared away altogether or not quite?"

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"A plan is in place but if someone already summoned gets curious we're stuck."

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"Or just gossipy."

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"We have a ten year lifespan, I was in a hurry."

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"Short years. Shorter, even."

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"Ack."

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"- I expect I know how you'll feel about this, Tireh, but it's your species and should be consciously decided - wizards can do memory charms -"

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"...on the daeva? On us you could ask first, it'd just be like songburning unless I misunderstand..."

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"On the daeva, yes."

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"And yeah, it's deletion, not more exotic stuff like what Kib has going on."

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"Ugh. I don't know. They could have already told people, or written it down... they might never be going to do either... they might be perfectly nice to hatchlings they hatched..."

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"Yeah. My best guess is that most people who hatched anyone would treat them at worst like exciting exotic pets, but they might tell their friends how they managed it and some people'd do worse than that."

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"There just aren't that many people in Beach, I don't have a good sense of what the rate is."

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"It's very culturally contingent, with humans. Cam might have the best feel for it with demons -"

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"I think most of them wouldn't get much added value out of sapient toys instead of basement dwellers or computer game AIs or lemurs or something. Mostly it's people who want kids who'd really go for it. Do we have any excuse for interviewing those daeva specifically, letting you get a sense of them -?"

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"If they're on any lists I could pretend I got names off a list. - it used to be the case," he says to Tireh, "that demons who take randoms were, ah, selected for being people you wouldn't want to trust, but we have been making that much less the case lately -"

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"Oh, how?"

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"- I mean, demons don't need anything. They can make arbitrary material objects, Hell has good media recommendations, live shows appeal to some people but you rarely got that anyway because Revelation gags demons so you couldn't even say what you wanted - the ones who'd take summons were mostly doing it either because they really liked doing altruistic things for ungrateful people who treated them badly, or because they were waiting for those people to slip up. Now there are things on offer for payment which they can't get any other way, and also we're working on treating them better, so your average demon is likelier to take a summons."

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Nod.

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"Two of these demons are on out of date Davidson's lists. I'm seeing if there's any route by which we could've heard of the others."

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"How many exactly are we looking at -"

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"Six."

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"Fairies were faster, it took me awhile to be sure that was consistent, there was some variance."

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"Used to be all three were instantaneous. We've overloaded the system a bit."

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"Wow."

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"If we'd been more careful we could've enforced, like, a ten minute no-summoning period in Godspring and the Ardas and then we could desync them at will, improve responses. I think one of my alts is looking into whether it's too late to implement that."

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"Desync?"

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Mirelótë explains the time-pausing.

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"But it only works if there are no active circles, and right now there're always active circles. ...Beach might be paused while you're here. Don't know for sure since you didn't come in the normal way."

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"I can check if you can think of something to conjure."

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"Check the tide on my beach?"

It transpires that Beach is paused.

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"That's good, means no one is dying while a Vala is acquired."

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"It's not the time of year when people would be dying in the greatest numbers, but yeah, that's good."

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"It's a time-of-year thing?"

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"Not strictly, people can die of old age in any season, but it's commonest the winter before we turn ten."

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"Ugh. I'm glad you got out."

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"Thanks."

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"Six including Minor or six others?" he asks Cam.

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"Not including Minor, I assume you already have a character assessment of Minor."

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"Minor killed someone to get home to warn us," he tells Ambela quietly.

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"- is he all right, was the person his summoner -"

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"Person is now a fairy and safe at home with his wife and not planning to press charges."

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"I don't think Minor's all right exactly but he's going to be..."

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"Does he need anything?"

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"Uh, I did not actually ask the questions relevant to establishing whether he was - responsible enough about the decision - because it didn't seem like an important answer to have right that second but it'll be important at some point."

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Nod.

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"You might be a good person to do that, if you wanted to."

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"Especially if he might want coaching on how to tell Miranda."

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"I bet he would greatly appreciate coaching on how to tell Miranda."

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"I'll go find him. It's lovely to meet you, Tireh."

And she goes looking for Minor.

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Flopped on a couch reading. "Hi."

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"Hello. How are you doing?"

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" - not as bad as the summons where the building'd blown up, actually. But then at least there was, like, 'go to med school' as an obvious way of avoiding that situation in future..."

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"This time you're already working on changing the conditions that made it less than astonishing, outlier behavior on the summoner's part."

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"If it gets out I'll set all that work back by a ton."

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Hug.

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Hug.

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"Do you want to tell me what happened?"

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"Took the egg summons. Came back. There were eggs right there next to my summoner. Checked in glass - yep, the summoners' species hatched from them - checked how many daeva they'd summoned - dozens of them - wrote Cam - took a circle - 

- it was to Vienna, the dad of one of the people who daevafied after watching my show. I tried to gesture that I urgently needed to go home. He threw a brick at my head and left."

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Nod.

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"Didn't come back. And I tried to think - you would probably notice I was gone and send somebody, a soul Elf if there was one around, but Milliways, didn't know how long to expect it to take, and it wasn't the sort of thing where if I waited for three hours and no one had come, that meant you were probably going to be there soon, after three hours if you hadn't come I would be in the exact same position except three hours would have passed, so I should make up my mind right away, either way.

I figured they'd summon another couple people while I was waiting to get the message to you. And the people they'd already have summoned would talk to more people. I thought worst case you'd just have a goldmage jump - but can't be sure of that, could be that one randomly jumped recently in Godspring for some silly unrelated reason -"

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"Mm."

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"So. Trying to let him to let me go would scare him but stood a decent chance of being the difference between someone writing the curators of Hell to say 'hey, have you got the winged people world yet'? and not. So I went invisible, drew his attention, thought he'd dismiss me when he saw I wasn't in the circle."

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"It sounds like that was a reasonable guess even in hindsight."

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"I don't think I guessed badly with the information I had, no. Maybe I could've inferred from the fact I didn't get literacy and the circle was in sand that it was just one person doing it, but even so I think there's a significant chance someone'll write the library asking about this world. Could've told Cam 'pause Hell' instead of telling him to get me, I should've just done that and hoped you'd piece it together -"

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Hug.

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"Invisibility just made him read the binding more carefully. So I paralyzed him and dragged him into the circle and glared at him - I honestly thought that'd do it -"

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"I would have expected that too."

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"Waited ten minutes. It wouldn't - wouldn't have been okay if he'd been in the middle of trying and - 

- at ten minutes if it was worth it at all there was no reason to let more time pass first -"

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Nod.

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"And then I wrote Cam again and came home and we paused Hell and it doesn't look like anyone'd written the curators. Yet."

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"But every minute still might count." Hug.

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Hug. "I wondered if he did it on purpose - they pressed the charges in the first place, I got acquitted, when he still wouldn't let me go I wondered if he thought being a daeva was a fair trade for the chance to get me locked up for thirty years -"

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"Do you suppose you'll ask, once time's moving again?"

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"I really doubt he wants to see me again, whatever his reason was. Cam says they worked something out so I probably won't spend forever in jail...I knew I might, though, I wasn't going to - if I thought it was worth it to kill someone only if I didn't get in trouble for it that'd be a way of thinking to be suspicious of. Either it was worth it for the minutes or it wasn't."

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"Yes."

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"Don't know if it was. Don't think it turns on whether someone writes the curators in the next five minutes either, that part's - that part's just luck..."

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"It turns on a lot of things you didn't know and couldn't have known."

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"What would you have done?"

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"I would have been slightly more willing to commit correspondence about the people from Beach - we're calling it Beach - to recorded form, but I probably would have been more confident that I could do it sufficiently obscurely and still be understood by the recipient. Failing that, though - I might have leaned harder on pleading than intimidation but I do think that's stylistic, no way to really guess which would work best on a particular person short of being a Maitimo with a chance to get a read."

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"And pleading works better when you can talk."

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"Well, gestural pleading. Elves can cry on demand, I suppose perhaps humans can't do that?"

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"No. I bet Timothy can, I could try to pick it up." Hug.

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Hug.

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"I don't know what to tell Miranda."

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"You can tell her what you told me and she'll understand. I could tell her for you, if you'd prefer. Once she has the details she'll mostly be worried about you, about how you're feeling and whether you'll be trapped in Ganymede for years - you're the one who might benefit from her worrying about them; your summoner isn't. I don't think she'll be disappointed at all."

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"Disappointed is what I was worried about. Being trapped in Ganymede for decades would really really suck but if she was disappointed it'd be because it was the wrong decision and that'd be worse."

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"It wasn't. You did what you could with what you had."

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"Yeah. If you're not smart enough that's not always good enough."

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"I suppose, theoretically, if you were infinite in your mental agility and learnedness you could have discerned from microexpressions precisely how to induce a minute of concentration from your summoner using only interpretive dance, but Miranda will not be disappointed in you for falling short of this standard."

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Giggle. "Thank you, Ambela. Will you tell people? So they don't have to ask me - I understand why they'd have to ask me -"

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"Yes, of course. Do you want me to tell Miranda, or would you rather do that yourself?"

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"That one I'll do."

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Nod. Squeeze.

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"I don't like feeling like it's reasonable for people to be terrified of me and want me in jail."

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"Cam seems to find it helpful to distract himself and spend time around people who, regardless, are not terrified of him and do not want him in jail."

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"I can see the appeal." And he goes off to find Miranda.

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Broomsticking about in the backyard with Karen! "Hi Minor!" she hollers from the sky.

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He'll wait for them to land. "Hi!"

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Down she comes. "- you okay?"

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"There's a species of people who hatch from eggs and I killed my summoner."

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"...your summoner who hatched from an egg?" asks Karen tentatively.

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" - no - the egg people were just doing summons and dismissals with no task for the immortality, they have interdimensional transit and learned about it on their own and didn't know the implications - then I tried to come home and tell everyone but I grabbed another fucking kidnapping and that's the summoner I killed."

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"Why do people keep thinking it is okay to kidnap daeva," says Miranda, and she throws her arms around him.

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Hug. Sob. "I don't know. I don't know. Maybe - people are just like that, if there's someone it's easy and invisible to hurt -"

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Hug.

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He has wings. He can cling to Miranda very very much. "I told Ambela everything because I wanted to know if you'd be disappointed in me once you had the whole story I needed to know -"

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"I'm assuming you had to get home in a tearing hurry because of the egg people somehow?"

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Nodnod.

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Squeeze. "Your summoner'll be fine they don't even have to study cellular biology. Are you okay -"

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"Scared of Ganymede. Tired. It - didn't feel good. I don't want to ever have to do that again even knowing they wake up right away nothing wrong at all -"

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Nod. "Would you go, if they summon you - last time you didn't -"

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"Last time I hadn't done anything wrong. I - yeah, I would. Murder's not allowed."

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Squeeze.

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Squeeze. 

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"A-are they gonna? We'd visit you..."

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"Cam said the guy doesn't want to press charges so - probably not. But they still could if they decided they wanted to, they don't need a complaint, they're just allowed to ignore it if they haven't gotten one. And visiting wouldn't help since I couldn't talk."

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"There's soul Elves? Maybe if everybody knows Occlumency too Legilimency can do an osanwë thing."

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"Maybe."

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"It'd still incredibly suck." She puts her head on his shoulder.

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"And everyone who trusted me and liked me would think they were wrong and it might even affect the EU escort vote. That just - didn't matter, if I was deciding off that then I shouldn't have been deciding..."

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"I mean, the other stuff you're doing does also matter, it wouldn't have been ridiculous to factor it in but you might've had to know more about how it'd go than you did."

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"Taking summons is terrifying but if I hadn't we wouldn't know about the egg people until they made the news -"

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Squeeze. "How'd they even start doing it, did we leave the main bar unattended and somebody came in?"

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"No, they have interdimensional transit - which is its own headache - and someone hopped worlds looking for immortality and found Godspring and got the - correct - impression that the Elves would not share all their stuff and so she spied and figured it out and then went home..."

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"Oh no. What're we doing about that?"

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"They're explaining to them why they shouldn't do that, I think. Hopefully that's enough."

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"Hopefully."

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"Everywhere's paused in the meantime."

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"It's good that we can do that. Weird but good." There is not really a place for her to nonawkwardly add to the hug what with the wingwrapping going on.

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He'll step back and put a wing on her shoulder too. "Yeah. Wish we could do it more selectively, but still, yeah."

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Hug.

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"Do you need anything?" Miranda asks Minor.

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"Don't think so. Not - not until time starts up."

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"Okay. Lemme know if you do."

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Squeeze. "I will."

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The demons who are not on Davidson's Demon List have still taken summonses before. This one filled out one of the Dwarves' surveys, they could say they got them off the Dwarf list. This one has written parody lyrics for some of Singularity Macalaurë's stuff, if Macalaurë is inclined to come up with an opinion about that which would imply summoning the demon. The remaining two... This one has a name collision in one language with an angel and the angel is on a Davidson's list, they can pretend they wanted the angel instead. This last one has... published controversial opinions on the 2087 Sherlock Holmes Supplements and Adaptations Annotated Bicentennial Compilation like a hundred years ago and once had a medium-term food scarcity alleviation job in Ethiopia for sexual favors? Cam's not sure what to do with that.

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"Part of the problem here is that I'm not just making a snap judgment of 'would they make people and terrorize them', I also need to know whether they'll say in passing to a friend 'oh, yeah, and there was those winged people with claws, what's that world called?' and that seems like a lot less of a persistent character trait."

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"Can you tell what they'll do if we ask them not to mention it?"

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"...probably?"

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"Having to mention it seems likeliest. It seems unlikely that six random demons will all investigate on their own, find that there's a reason to keep quiet in so doing, and then do that."

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"And they might keep quiet if asked. ...could also try to find long-term work for them, if they're interested in taking it."

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"Could do. That'd keep them from some casual conversations but if we let them write home it still doesn't contain the information by itself."

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"Yes, it only helps if we don't think the event was notable enough to write home about but that they might bring it up casually." Sigh. "We can start with the listed ones, at least."

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Cam hands him circles.

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"Keep checking if they say anything, in the meantime..." And he finishes a circle.

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"I can't spy on chiplocked messages or verbal conversations, but so far as I can yeah."

The demon shows up.

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"Hi! We're updating all the old demons' lists in light of there being a lot more going on in the world, interested in being on an updated version?"

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"You're with Davidson's?"

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"No, actually, I used to rely on them and they've been slow about reacting to - all this stuff lately - so I thought I'd just come out with a competing version."

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"Oh, cool. I'm mostly off my Broadway kick but maybe you can tempt me with something. I still like doing architecture."

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"How about the Elves' theatre, stuff like that?"

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He makes a face. "It takes them all day to say 'I like chord progressions and the sound of my voice'."

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Giggle. "Picked any translations of your name you'd like listed -"

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"I still spell it all the same ways."

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"Thanks so much. What can I get you for your time?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"I assume you don't have Andrew Lloyd Weber's signature lying around."

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"- I mean, the Elves're setting up a portal into Limbo next Fairyland concordance, I could probably get you a lunch date with him? That's a bit much for five minutes of your time, though."

Permalink Mark Unread

"- are you serious? Portal to Limbo?"

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"Yeah. They need something from the place they're targeting, that's why it has to wait for the concordance. Should I look you up once they've got it?"

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"Fuck yeah."

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"I will do that. I could actually use a favor in the meantime, though. Y'know the winged people?"

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"Yeah? Are those common knowledge now, I'd never heard of them before."

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"They are not common knowledge. See, they hatch from eggs, and they didn't realize that this would be kind of a big deal in Hell until someone managed to figure out the language barrier and be like '-uh -"

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Snort. "Wow, okay. What about them, you want a winged baby or something?"

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"I want them to keep not being common knowledge. You never met any winged people, you definitely don't make any winged people, I'll get you a ride to Limbo day after the concordance."

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The demon makes a lips-are-sealed gesture and winks.

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And Timothy sends him home. Next one?

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A rather fashion-forward lady demon with kudu antelope horns nearly half her unhorned height appears. "Hi! Gosh, I thought my list presence had elapsed."

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"Hi! Yeah, we're updating old ones to account for all the exciting recent happenings. Want to be on a new one?"

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"Oh yes, very much, I miss it terribly, it'd take ten tries even with the list to find the right people but then it was just lovely - I have some suggestions, if you want to cut that ratio down -"

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"I would be delighted, what're you looking for?"

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"Well you see I'm a wedding planner - I'm not a generic caterer or a generic decorator and I do not like being asked to make a thousand swanfolded napkins only to be sent home before the big event, it's so demoralizing and also the swanfold is completely out of fashion, has been for a hundred years. There was this really brief window where people thought it was a fantastic deal to just hand the entire thing over to me! List dietary restrictions and flower allergies, show me the venues and the bridesmaids, summon me back day of without a care in the world and watch as everything goes up - I even used to tidy up afterwards if I really liked them - but then for some reason I don't know why it certainly wasn't my fault people typically no longer wanted demon guests and I started getting these rude people who just wanted me to make stuff off a list, no creative input at all, wouldn't even let me complain if they tried to put the maid of honor in eggplant and last season's shoes, it was awful."

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...giggle. "So, wedding planning but only if you get creative control, got it. I bet that'll be an easier sell once Revelation lightens up about demons, we're working on it. Humans only or can other peoples look you up?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"I am working very hard on catching up to Elf, orc, Dwarf, and assorted Godspring wedding fashion but I am not there yet, especially that last, do they even have bridal catalogues? But I'm happy to work with people as long as they aren't, you know, objectively wrong."

Permalink Mark Unread

"You have a portfolio or something they can grab to make sure they share your tastes?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Of course I do! What format would you find most convenient?"

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He has a chiplocked computer now, Michael having survived a year without apparent adverse effects; he lists the file format.

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She makes a chip for it.

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He opens it. "Wow, these are stunning."

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"Aren't they just? My favorite is this one with all the lace and the mint green accents - they got divorced six months later, it was tragic, but still some of my best work, you can't expect the wedding planner to do everything - and this is the best cake I ever did over here -"

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He ooohs and aaaahs and - "have you met the winged people?"

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"I've met a bunch of winged people, here if you flip to item seventeen there's a woman who'd had angel wings installed because she wanted to fly and I had to do her dress around them - you mean recently? The ones in the seal skins? I don't think they were even cut to fit, let alone flatter."

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"Yeah, I meant those. They haven't invented walls yet, I think they're a ways away from wedding planning."

Permalink Mark Unread

"They let me talk but I couldn't pronounce anything, anyway."

Permalink Mark Unread

"We were trying to get their attention to tell them something important and we ended up having to plead with one fairy who got a literate one to write a note so we could wave it at them."

Permalink Mark Unread

"There are literate ones? Well, good for them, you have to start somewhere."

Permalink Mark Unread

"There's exactly one literate one. I guess humans started out that way too, right?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Did they? I always imagined it was sort of gradual. I wouldn't know, I suppose."

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He flips through the portfolio and has more compliments and - "I'll send everybody copies - well, not Beach, we've told them they really shouldn't be summoning demons -"

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"If they can't read, yes, better they skip it."

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"Can't read and they hatch from eggs and don't think the new hatchlings would do well without adults of their own species around. Most demons'll be understanding but of course some people'd do it anyway, and the poor babies..."

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Nod, nod.

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"So we're just keeping it quiet, you know, there're so many worlds, no need for word to get around about that one. Once they've invented the wheel and so on we can revisit it, maybe they won't want to miss out on spectacular weddings."

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Giggle.

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"You don't mind helping us with that?"

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"Oh, I don't mind." Pause. "But if you get married you'll let me do your wedding, won't you?"

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"I would be delighted but I'm eighteen, it would be terribly irresponsible to get married soon no matter how fantastic the wedding planner."

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"I'm immortal," she chirps.

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"I promise to look you up."

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"Marvelous," she beams.

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And home. He goes to find Cam for more circles. "Anyone written anything -"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Not in the clear. I had to read a surprising amount of weird fanfiction to be sure, though."

Permalink Mark Unread

"A significant share of the output of your civilization seems to be weird fanfiction. These two wanted bribes but were at least trustworthily bribeable."

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"Yeah, fanfiction just sort of gets weirder and higher context the longer someone keeps the hobby and some people have been doing it a long time. What'd you have to bribe 'em with?"

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"First one wants to meet Andrew Lloyd Weber once there's a portal to Limbo and the second one wants to plan my wedding.  - I did say I had no plans to get married -"

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"For all you know I could have strong wedding planning opinions!"

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"Well, if you do and also want to marry me you can hash them out with this very opinionated lady with very very long antelope horns. She gave me her portfolio. I think we'd be getting a little ahead of ourselves, though, we haven't actually talked about relationship parameters beyond 'no threesomes with that one god in particular' and 'recreational kinky mind-control is out but if it's for demon-payment convenience then that's all right' -"

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"I'm not in anything resembling a hurry, just, it is demonstrably a thing that mes do sometimes."

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"I will endeavor not to make marriage-related promises that'd be significantly limiting, even for the greater good."

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Kiss.

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Kiss. "What was our excuse for grabbing the other ones?"

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"Dwarf list one is relatively easy. The other ones are not great."

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"I'll do that one next, then. Other ones I can always just say 'someone gave me your name'."

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"Yeah, that could work. I can dig up stuff they've done on past summonses in more detail to have an idea of what you might have gotten their name for."

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"That'd be great, thanks." And he completes a circle for the one on the Dwarf list.

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Demon! "Hi?"

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"Hi! We're putting together a more comprehensive list of everybody interested in taking specific summons, what with all the recent changes - I got your name off the Dwarf survey -"

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"You're not a Dwarf..."

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"I am not I just bought their notes. Do you mind being listed for people who are not Dwarves?"

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"That's fine, I guess, they haven't wanted me for anything yet."

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"What sort of work would you enjoy, what would you want for it..."

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"I like plants. I can do forests, that used to be my favorite, but I'm into weird vegetables lately, I've been fucking around with weird potatoes."

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"Cool. Having fun grabbing all the new ecologies and so on?"

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"Yeah. The Valinor stuff is nice especially."

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He takes notes. "And payment -"

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"I told the Dwarves I'd take money but I don't really care, I don't know why people get so focused on that. It's not like I need anything."

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Nod. "What do you get out of summons, then?"

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"I just like going places and seeing things. I didn't use to take many but it's supposed to be safer now."

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"Yeah, we're working on that. Having a way to move on it right away if someone's gone longer than they wanted, stuff like that. - my little brother's a demon and he got stuck a couple places and it was really upsetting..."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that."

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Sigh. "Anyway, got him all focused on making it safer and I think it's mostly working. You haven't gotten stuck anywhere?"

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"No, I've been lucky, but you hear stories."

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"Yeah. - have you met any winged people -"

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"...I live in Hell?"

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"On summons, I mean, there's a planet of 'em."

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"Oh. I wouldn't say met, they didn't really talk to me."

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"Yeah, we needed to warn them to stop and we ended up having to find the only person on the planet who could read and the fairy she'd summoned so we could wave a sign at them."

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"Ha. Why'd they need to stop?"

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"They hatch. From eggs. Most people'd be cool about it but some people wouldn't, and they didn't even know enough to realize it would cause quite a stir in Hell -"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Oh. Huh."

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"Relatedly it'd be good if they stayed sort of...not common knowledge. Does that work for you -"

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"Yeah, I wasn't going to run to the library hollering." This demon has probably never hollered in his life.

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"Didn't seem the type. But, you know, if you have a friend who wants a kid write the adoption programs instead of suggesting they hatch one on their own, stuff like that."

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"I know one of the people who's trying to get in on that now, yeah."

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"We'll find a place for them. And the babies'll have better than a ten-year life expectancy - that's what the hatched ones get - so it's better all around."

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Nod.

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"Can I get you anything for your time?"

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"Nah, like I said I don't need anything." Shrug.

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"Take care!" And home. 

Does Cam have plausible reasons to bother the other three -

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"We could theoretically be fans of this one, does relyricizations of popular songs; doesn't have any special summons related skills, just works off blueprints. This one has forensics background and is good at that, and this other one is... I got nothing."

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"I can just be mysterious."

He finishes the circle for the musical one first.

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This one doesn't show up for twenty minutes.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Has the one with a forensics background done any checking on the world -"

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"No, recent conjurations were all food and books and stuff."

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"And does it look like only natives to Tireh's world can do the songburning thing -"

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"I don't know how I'd check that."

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"I was assuming other people were checking that while we did this. Maybe Tireh is still meeting all the other yous."

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"I can go ask her while you're waiting for the demon." Off he goes.

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He continues to wait.

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Cam comes back a bit later. "She has not successfully taught anyone to do it, even the version that doesn't require singing."

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"Okay. Still waiting on this one."

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Cam goes away again so it will not be questionable why Timothy needs two demons.

Eventually musical demon shows up.

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And Timothy liked his music and wondered if he wanted to be on a list, does he want to be on a list?

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"I need a lot of flexibility."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Do you mean, like, 'cut it out with the fucking gags', or no routine scheduled stuff, or..."

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"Scheduling-wise, need to be able to be home to work whenever something occurs to me, although I won't work with a gag either."

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"I am pretty sure people are shortly going to discover no one'll work with a gag anymore, yeah." Notes notes. "Where've you enjoyed seeing lately -"

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"Got a marvelous language the other day. I like languages."

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"What makes one marvelous?"

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"It's beyond tonal all the way to completely sung. I don't think I could even use it if I hadn't perfect pitch, but I have."

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"- oh, the winged people language? Is that why none of us can get it, I should tell them to grab Macalaurë - we had a terrible time trying to communicate with that society."

Permalink Mark Unread

"That'd do it. You know Macalaurë? Which fork?"

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"The one who used to live on the planet that got holed, has Hell gone ahead and given them fork names since they neglected to do it themselves?"

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"Musical community's calling them by nonmatching song titles when necessary. And naming the songs, since a lot of them are just 'third symphony' or what have you. That one's 'High-Silver Sonata'."

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Giggle. "I bet this will inspire them to pick proper fork names. Anyway, yes, I know him, I think the Elves've been running half their interplanetary communications off him, and it'd be really useful to be able to communicate properly with the winged people so I think it merits bothering him."

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"You want me to tutor him in the language, or something? They might have multiple languages."

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"They probably do and we really really don't want them doing any more summoning. Would you care to? We've got a temporary magic patch, it's not urgent."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I don't object to it as an activity but I don't have room for anything like a full time job."

Permalink Mark Unread

"You mentioned. No worries. - I guess if some more of them summoned you in particular so you could get some more musical languages that'd be all right -"

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"Would it? I don't really see why you don't want them summoning in the first place. I'm looking forward to composing with the one I have, more of them would be a good opportunity for multilinguistic puns. Probably. I'm still feeling out how to do puns in this one."

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"Oh, they don't want to be common knowledge in Hell because they hatch from eggs."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Hell's a perfectly nice place to live."

Permalink Mark Unread

"And most people who wanted to hatch a kid would probably be responsible and take them somewhere with the right gravity far away from radiation and warn their neighbors to be unusually careful, but - most places if you aren't being treated well, or if you just want to live on your own, you can leave.

And a fragile person in Hell sufficiently far away from everyone else in Hell that they wouldn't immediately get killed by accident - well, they'd better hope they like their parents, because they can't leave, not really."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I've never had parents myself, of course, but I understand children are usually fond of them."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Where I'm from parents routinely beat their children and children are still usually fond of them, yeah. Being raised by someone from infancy often does that. But not always. Not even because the parents are bad people. Some people you just don't get along with, you know? And those people can be your parents. And it really, really sucks if you're completely dependent on them forever because they're magic and you're not..."

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He makes a face. "You're going to tell me I shouldn't drop an album in a mystery language, aren't you."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I think you probably shouldn't do that. Even though it'd be awesome. If you would like I can find you another mystery language whose speakers are born the normal way."

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"Will it be a singing language?"

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"I don't know any but I can ask Bar, I am sure there exists one out there somewhere -"

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"Huh?"

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" - I have access to mysterious resources which probably include singing languages, though possibly not summoners who can hand you the singing languages. If they're conventionally learnable I will just make Macalaurë learn them and then summon you."

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"You're trying to bribe me, aren't you."

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"Absolutely."

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"You're really good at it."

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"Thank you! I can probably arrange that summons in a couple weeks, can I get you anything for your time today?"

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"Nah, that'll do me." He laughs softly.

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"Take care!" And home. 

Forensics demon.

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Here she is.

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"Hi! I'm updating old lists, trying to put something together that's comprehensive now that there're a lot more worlds out there and a lot more things people might want. Want to be on one?"

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"I didn't really like my last job."

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"What were you doing?"

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"Forensics for the High Court of Australia."

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"Disliked forensics, the court, Australia, your colleagues, your compensation..."

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"The schedule and the way they treated the defendants. And there was a peanut allergy so I couldn't make myself things with peanuts."

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"How'd they treat the defendants -"

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"They were so -" She pauses thoughtfully. "Stared at."

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Nod. He takes notes for his list. "Would you be interested in forensics work in a different setting, then?"

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"I'm good at it. I don't know though."

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"Been anywhere interesting lately?"

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"I went to one of those dots. I could tell they were trying to be nice but it felt very institutional."

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"I would pass that on to the Elves but I don't know that they'd know how to solve it, they might just take it as 'make them prettier'..."

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"Oh, that's not it at all, the decor was nice."

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"I sort of figured that wasn't the problem, yeah. I wonder if it's just - institutions. I'm from 1802 and there's been so much social progress since then but, like, Ganymede was as blandly dehumanizing as anything we came up with -"

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"I've never been."

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"I wasn't a fan. How about compensation, is there anything you'd want -"

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"They used to pay me a salary and I'd tip people on the internet with it. Or buskers. I think I might like to travel, it's not the sort of thing you can really plan to do except in the most technical sense via summon."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Yeah. Did you meet the winged people -"

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"I saw a winged person."

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"Singy language?"

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"I suppose, yes. I didn't pay a lot of attention to it; they didn't want to talk."

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"We were kind of hoping to keep that world from coming to anyone's attention."

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"Who's 'we'?"

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"People who've been paying attention to multiverse stuff."

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"That seems like a vague criterion."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I could give you a list but there's no obvious descriptor that catches us all."

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"I don't have any plans that turn on announcing the summon but I object to lying."

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"That's very reasonable. We really just want to avoid someone adding it to a list of known worlds, something like that."

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"I won't volunteer the information."

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"Thank you. Can I get you anything for your time -"

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"Can't spend anything usefully from home."

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"I can do internet access if you'd like."

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"I'd like that."

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They head into the main bar. "Cam, can you get the door -"

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"Where to?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Revelation."

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Cam opens the door to Revelation.

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Minor arranged for the signal strength to be perfectly good as long as the door was open. "There you go," he says to her. "Let me know when you'd like to head home." And to Cam - "can I have another circle -"

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'Nother circle.

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He heads back out. Last demon!

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Here she is!

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And here is a bland explanation about making a list would she like to be on it.

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"It's gotten weirdly hard to trade in traditional currency lately."

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"Would you like to be paid in currency?"

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"That's not very traditional for demons."

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" - ah. I feel like there are a couple Elf kingdoms in Endorë that solicited permission from their gods to pay demons however they pleased, and the gods sent them back a confused - let me look it up -" he does - "yeah they cleared it. I would feel comfortable having that on a list, at least. Gender and species preferences?"

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"Girls. Humans are fine as long as they have all their teeth and so on. Or let me fix it, I know how to do that sort of thing. Orcs and Dwarves aren't really very attractive, maybe some of them are. Elves are, right? I haven't seen one in person and the pictures look kind of edited honestly. And those angely people are nice enough looking."

Permalink Mark Unread

"The pictures probably weren't edited Elves just kind of look like that. The angely people are a secret, do you mind helping me keep them that way?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Why are the angely people a secret?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"They've got a local magic system. Doesn't work for anyone else, we've been trying ever since we found out about them. It lets them teleport between dimensions. They all seem neat enough to me, I don't think it'll be a big deal, but two guesses how all the human governments would react to learning there're people who, once they die, will be loose daeva -"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Oh, wow, they'd flip the fuck out, yeah."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Exactly. So if we just don't mention the angely people to anyone, they don't have to flip the fuck out and everything's fine."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Somebody's gonna spill."

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"Only a couple daeva got summoned there before we explained. I've been offering them all outrageous bribery."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Ha. Well, I like it when people don't flip out, there's already enough of that."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Yeah. For ethical reasons I can't exactly offer you people but I can arrange some introductions to pretty Elves, would you like some?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"I dunno, my gaydar's going off like crazy, are you any good at finding pretty girls?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"I really think you will find all Elf girls satisfactorily pretty, Elves are absurdly pretty, but I was actually planning to delegate it to someone who knows the people in question."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I'm picky and about weird shit, but I totally want a look at Elves, yeah."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I will tell Elves to say hi and then you can be as picky as you please there are billions of them. Anything for your time?"

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Handwave. "You're not a girl. Thanks anyway."

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He sends her home.

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And home she goes.

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And he heads back into the main bar and flops next to Cam.

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Cam is still holding the door for the demon who wanted cash, which she is methodically dropping in hundred-dollar increments into various internet tip jars. "How'd it go?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Uh, Macalaurë needs to learn a sung language and then summon Timako, and I have been tasked with finding pretty Elf girls for Ievo though she observed she expected me to be incompetent at that and I don't know if my alts will be any better. And that's everybody."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I bet you Maitimë's better at it."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Her Arda will still have standard-issue levels of homophobia I don't want to give Ievo Elves with a complex -"

Permalink Mark Unread

"I assume she retains qualifying amounts of lesbianism even if you take her to Sanity to have a look around!"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Maybe someone local can pick people who would be good at it and then Maitimë can decide which ones are relevantly pretty - have you seen an Elf who wasn't pretty -"

Permalink Mark Unread

"No, but some people have preferences about hair color. Or like short people or something, that would be hard."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Yes but attraction to women won't help with that, I don't think. I am not actually clear on how Elves think about sex but I bet we can find her a selection."

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod.

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"I should finish the list but I'm not in a tremendous hurry on that."

Permalink Mark Unread

"The list?" Cam asks.

"I'm done," says Tipjar Demon.

Permalink Mark Unread

"Okay! Have a nice day."

 

And home. "I told them I was developing a competitor to Davidson's. If we're going to make it harder to get randoms we should really make it easier to get specific people..."

Permalink Mark Unread

"You'd be good at competing with Davidson's!"

Permalink Mark Unread

"It'd be so much fun!!!" 

Permalink Mark Unread

"You're adorable." Kiss.

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"Your world has the best magic." Kiss.

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Elsewhere he schedules another meeting in Singapore.

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The interstellar coordinator always has time for the prince of the Noldor, of course.

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"Hello. One of these days I look forward to coming to you with good news. There's a new world discovered. It's called Beach. They discovered us. They have interdimensional transit."

Permalink Mark Unread

"...is that bad news? Are they hostile? There are certainly people who don't like relying on Valar for portals."

Permalink Mark Unread

"They're friendly. The magic does not appear to be shareable. We tentatively expect they'll keep it if they daevafy. Given that, we would have hesitated to teach them summoning, but they teleported around and did some espionage and picked it up on their own."

Permalink Mark Unread

"...Oh. Well, we can adjust the prison bindings - you should probably notify the SSA too, don't want people technically the summoners of wandering daeva getting up to goodness knows what."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I'll stop by there next. It's not just a question of bindings, though, a Beach daeva could just leave the daeva realms and come here without a summons, at-will."

Permalink Mark Unread

"So we're going to need an arrangement whereby Valar can perform arrests in our world."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Yep. Not yet, we explained these concerns to the people of Beach and they agreed to stop summoning in exchange for support in finding another means of achieving immortality - the Valar can make them unaging, but not invulnerable - but eventually some of the ones who summoned before we persuaded them to stop will die and by then you will want a Vala arrest procedure."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I'll start working on Chua; let me know if I need to go into emergency mode - you will know when one dies?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Checking every half hour. We could try to double the demons on staff and check every fifteen minutes but we don't actually have limitless ways to pay them and we bribed a bunch to forget they were summoned to Beach."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Did they only summon demons?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Nope - all three until they were confident in who had the fastest response time, then switched exclusively to fairies - but we're hoping that fairies or angels curious about the new world they were summoned to have fewer means of following up. We're monitoring their communications in case they write a friend in Hell asking, but that's not a common occurrence."

Permalink Mark Unread

"They don't have to write a friend; Hell conjures up copies of the Fairyland and Hell internets as a matter of routine."

Permalink Mark Unread

"If they write about it we'll know. And, ah, have a way to make the written works retroactively unconjurable, Beach magic does that too."

Permalink Mark Unread

"...even electronic copies?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Testing in progress, might depend on format. They'd probably have to do each copy individually."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Then that's not going to help at all if it gets on a public forum and a million fairies have it on their server caches and want to know where it went when they can't find it again."

Permalink Mark Unread

"It would not. It's not my call but I think they'd do time-travel if it came to that."

Permalink Mark Unread

Nod. "Some fairies and angels have chiplock installations, picked up on summons or even installed via actual invasive surgery, do you have a way to pick up on that?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"We do not."

Permalink Mark Unread

"If you have the wherewithal to further bribe them and this doesn't increase the risk they decide it's interesting... Actually, why are you focused on demons in particular knowing about it?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Separately from the daeva travel concerns, the population of Beach hatches from eggs."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Oh."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I'll look into whether bribing the relevant angels and fairies is tractable but the demons were a bigger immediate concern."

Permalink Mark Unread

"As long as you're keeping an eye on them. What are the limits of the retroactive unconjurability?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"It only makes that particular copy unconjurable, it's not helpful if the information has already been copied. It does work if you'd like, for example, someone conjuring for your complete written works not to find something. A Beach person has to read it, and then they simultaneously forget and erase the information in a magic ritual."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Interesting. Probably not applicable on a wide scale then."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Probably not. A separate implication of contact with Beach is that we can now if we wish go exploring for new worlds, something we were previously very sharply constrained in doing. The arguments for doing so are humanitarian - most worlds seem to be pre-industrial or early industrial, we can help them out, we could look one up with conjuration in advance and make sure we weren't biting off somewhere with extra complications - the argument against is that there could be extra complications you wouldn't find by that method, like if you'd looked this world up prior to Revelation."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Looked it up?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"Tried learning about it remotely via conjuration of its published works, models of the people who lived on it, and so on."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Yes, I can see how that would be a problem. And summoning wait times would just keep going up."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Yeah. Once we have a mortality intervention that isn't summoning it'll be a better option. We're contemplating trying some time dilation stuff to help with wait times but it'll be complicated."

Permalink Mark Unread

"Can you give me a summary of how that might work?"

Permalink Mark Unread

"We can stop time in a world if it does not have active interactions with other world - open circles count as active interactions. So in the Ardas, say, where we have the authority to impose and enforce a ban on summoning during a specific window of time, we could pause the world once there are no open circles. Alternate the Ardas and Godspring, reduce demand. The problem is that daeva might find it upsetting to take a three-hour job and come home two days later, and a single open circle anywhere in the dimension breaks it. We can stop time in all the worlds at once, except for Milliways, and we did that in handling contact with Beach - that's less disruptive, because no one loses time relative to others except the people authorized to be working in Milliways."

Permalink Mark Unread

"I see; that sounds challenging. Speaking of which, I may finally scrape together enough time to go look at the place this week."

Permalink Mark Unread

"We'll be delighted. - oh, you should know - Milliways has its own security system, which is magically guaranteed to be adequate. That's actually how contact was made with Godspring, some residents of Milliways were curious who could possibly be guaranteed adequate to take an unbound daeva and the answer was 'goldmages' - anyway, I don't expect it to come up but please don't shoot anyone for having an unsafe summons active, you and everyone else are perfectly safe."

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"I don't habitually go around armed anyway," she says.

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"I was not anticipating trouble but would have felt really terrible about failing to communicate on something so easily avoided. Anyway, I have a list of all Beach summoners by name for you, in case you want to also check for whether any of them die."

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"If I go to Lilie about it she'll tell Rochelle and I'd rather have some time to think about how to tell her, but can't hurt to have the list."

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List. "That's all that was on my agenda, is there anything we can do for you?"

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"Don't think so. Have a great day."

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"You too!"

 

And he asks about angel and fairy bribery.

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"I'm not unwilling to try but there is the risk of making it more salient than it otherwise would have been -"

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"Mixed strategy? Read their stuff to get an idea of how high risk they already are and how convinceable they'd be?"

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"Sure, give me a dossier and I'll figure out who might be worth talking to. Or make one of my alts do it so I can make progress on the demons list."

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His alts are asking Bar if there's a way to make arrangements that would let thousands of people request things from Bar at the same time.

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That's technically a spatial problem, which is autohandled by the establishment, rather than a limitation on Bar's capacity. If they don't all need to be physically at the bar and people want to put ramps or a conveyor belt end or something on her she could provide things in response to prompts on a screen.

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Great then they're going to try to identify all the worlds in the multiverse in desperate straits and if Tireh can figure out how to take passengers then she can jump to worlds, grab someone, bring them to Milliways, and thereby pause them. This is bottlenecked by Tireh having to learn enough things for an interdimensional jump so they'll only alert her to 'imminent destruction of planets' sized catastrophes, not mere genocides and so on. 

They can spare someone to look at angels and fairies. 

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She'd like one of those memory necklaces to see how that goes. The blackmagery facts are usable but not that efficient and she has to clear them before they accumulate to anywhere near teleportation levels.

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She can have a memory necklace. The Fëanors are almost done with an eidetic memory necklace, even. Can she use the same information repeatedly, learn a thousand high-value facts and forget them and then learn them again...

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"I can reburn stuff I've burned before, yeah, if I learn it over again."

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"So then maybe we should just find you the maximally efficient set of facts for a teleport, have stacks of paper with them written down, so you can learn them off a paper, burn it, and go..."

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"Yeah, not a bad plan."

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"Demanding of you."

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"Yeah, I should probably teach a couple other people how to do the thing so I'm not the only person who can, but the time dilation's mostly friendly and I'm immortal now!"

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"Mortality is appalling and I'm very glad you found us. Has Nienna caused any horrible offense while tapping everyone in Beach -"

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"Brushed somebody's wing, they freaked out a little, she was more careful after that."

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"That could be worse. The GCP is apprised of you guys, now. They're - mostly responsible, I don't think you need to be worried, though if you die they will be in a bit of a panic."

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"Well, I don't have to go tempting sharks for my next lunch, so maybe that can be a while off."

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"I very much hope so."

 

They arrange a screen to flash requests at Bar, a demon to do format conversions of the works she produces into something that can be disseminated electronically in Sanity, and a couple hundred thousand Elves with chiplocked computer installations to read, distill, write summaries, and identify worlds in urgent need. 

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Niari finds an occasion to take Maitimo up on the invitation to visit.

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Cam will have to open the door, since the address she was given was the Forks one.

James and Samuel are playing some kind of modified Quidditch-with-miniatures-as-levitation-practice thing under Fredrick's supervision in a corner (Mingling is watching), Michael is singing with Amriac in his lap, Minor is doing the format conversions and eating nachos, and Timothy is hovering protectively around Cam in case Niari has a comment. It makes for an eclectic little interdimensional bar. 

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Niari does, in fact, recognize Cam - and Timothy and Mingling and Minor, for that matter - but doesn't seem to know quite what to say.

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"Hello! I'm so glad you could make the time. This is Milliways. The bar does excellent drink recommendations."

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"Interesting collection of - personnel?" She squints at Cam. "Is -"

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"Oh, my personnel are all back in Tirion, these are mostly students from the wizarding school in Hazel who're waiting while Hazel's paused."

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"You warned me there might be unbound daeva but I wasn't expecting this one. Isn't he supposed to be on probation of some sort."

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"He is in compliance with all of the terms of his probation."

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"But..."

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"Shall we head up to my office here?"

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"All right."

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Office. "Ms. Chua and I agreed upon a means of verification that the five daeva who've been a point of contention are in fact under the bindings described, and agreed that we would have their summoners over to visit as frequently as you might desire to verify that. We have not altered the conditions under which any of them are being held, and I cannot imagine any circumstances under which we would do so. You have my encouragement to request verification of that as often as you might desire it."

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"That wasn't what was giving me pause and I think you know that."

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"It seemed possible you were worried we had a general habit of being lax about prisoners, and I do want to assure you that we don't. Now, obviously Swan committed no offenses against humans or in your jurisdiction, but given the gravity of the crimes he did commit I think it'd be very reasonable to be angry with us if he had entered your jurisdiction at all after the transfer of custody, which he has not, or been in a position to threaten it, which he has not. You can verify that."

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"Can't conjure through the - magic door?"

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"Bar security prevents that kind of thing. And yes, it's a magic door, Swan opens it to Revelation, the kids all open it to Hazel, I open it to Tirion. You would probably find it opens to your apartment, or similar."

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"He opens it to a house in Washington?"

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"It's where he grew up, I take it."

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"I see."

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"I mentioned this already, but - when he walked into Milliways for the first time, time paused in the world he'd left from. His summoner was on a planet whose location was known only to him, and access to his entire dimension was controlled by him. I recognize that for reassuring the public, "he could have done anything he wanted" is not as reassuring as 'he's in prison', which is to be honest with you the only reason there are protective measures in place at all, they're certainly not necessary for our safety. But they are in place, and they are adequate; Milliways has security metaphysically guaranteed to be able to handle the job, and we have time travel."

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"How would security handle misuse of the time travel?"

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"Swan doesn't have access to the time travel. What kind of misuses are you thinking of?"

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"I don't have any in mind, but if you state that the security is categorically sufficient..."

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"The security could successfully arrest someone with time-travel powers, to be sure. I don't know specifically how they'd do it, we could go inquire."

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"Maybe on the way out." She looks around the office. "It looks so ordinary. Well, Elfily decorated, but."

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"Not the seat of a magical power far beyond our comprehension, yeah. A bar. I partially invited you here because it sounds like such an absurd claim."

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"A bit. Bar with a hotel on top."

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"Populated mostly by teenagers who are waiting until we figure out how to unpause their world, and the daeva they have taken up with."

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"How long have they been here?"

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"Time doesn't pass consistently in different parts of Milliways, so it's not the same answer for each of them. Timothy was seventeen when he found it and counts himself almost nineteen now; Minor's switched to keeping his birthdays by Revelation time..."

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Nod. "Is it a nice place to grow up?"

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"- it's not where the fork of me who has children would raise them, let's say that. I don't think they are being exposed to damaging influences. It's probably much nicer than a wizarding school in 1802 - no one here beats them -"

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Shudder.

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Yeah. "They were disturbingly nonchalant about it. I did pull Timothy aside to make sure that they didn't have - similarly disturbingly low standards for romantic relationships -"

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"Is Swan generically dangerous -?"

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"Not at all. He was summoned unbound to our world, you know, made his summoner a bowl of cherries and then asked his mom if there was anyone he should talk to to explain about demons."

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Sigh.

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"I don't blame you for finding us - obnoxiously idealistic."

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"Not really obnoxious about it, but - very."

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"I could ask the bar if Security prevents any soul transactions and then you could talk to him, if you'd like."

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"I don't really think I'm equipped to make evaluations like that in interpersonal interaction."

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Nod. "I've been doing it for a couple thousand years and I have yet to get one wrong, but I recognize there's too much at stake to rely on that in place of more ordinary precautions."

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Nod.

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"There was of course also three days of questioning under a magical truth effect, but we don't expect you to trust that either. We don't expect you to trust in anything. He won't enter Revelation."

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"Thank you."

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"Of course. Is there anything in particular you wanted to see while you're here? There's an outdoors, the bar answers questions about the multiverse - and has magically-calibrated taste in drink recommendations -"

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"That sounds interesting, what a weird sort of magic."

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"Isn't it?" And they head back out into the main bar, where the miniatures Quidditch match has disintegrated into a high-speed chase around the windows. Timothy is resting on Cam's shoulder and typing up the new demons list. 

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Niari gets a beverage. She is pleasantly surprised by the beverage.

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He'll also have a beverage. 

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He will make himself a second plate of nachos and - "Timothy can you summon someone else this is really boring."

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"Yeah, okay, circle?"

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Circle. 

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He finishes it and then curls back up against Cam while he waits.

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Minor continues converting stacks of books to chips.

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Eventually: random demon.

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"Hi! Task's super boring, or so my little brother tells me -"

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"Task is super boring!" he confirms.

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"It's just converting stacks of books to digital form, Valian standard filetype, as they appear. We can offer you miscellaneous potions and magic items off the Hazel for-demons list, introductions to various Elf royalty, uncannily good books and music recommendations from universes not yet known to Hell..."

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"I wanna talk to the guy who invented lightleapers, is he handy?"

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"Sure thing." He looks at his alt.

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Who closes his eyes and - "yeah, one of them's free - they forked," he adds to the demon, "but they forked after inventing lightleapers so I should think it counts. You can probably talk while doing the chips, right -"

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"Easy, because this is the most boring task ever."

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"Sure thing."

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A Fëanor emerges. "Hello!" he says to the demon. "Curufinwë Fëanáro, but I put it all in the published paper -"

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"Yto. I can't read Quenya and I don't know if the translation is any good because it's brand new physics nobody else has established vocab for, come on."

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"That's appalling," he says, "I'll have a good translation of everything published in a bunch of languages, I didn't realize - Minor -"

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"know everything spoken on Revelation and all but three of Godspring's but I haven't actually picked up anything native to Hell yet and totally do not know enough physics to translate a physics paper and I'm not even sure there's a meaningful sense in which you could write about lightleapers in Cefaxi, it'd all be loanwords."

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"Yes so that's why you should be listening carefully," he says, and to the demon - "what's your physics background, where should I start -"

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The demon converts things and describes his physics education.

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And gets a very enthusiastic and comprehensible explanation of how you get from there to lightleapers.

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He raises an eyebrow at Niari. "They'll be at that all day, want to see out back?"

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"Sure."

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Out back is mostly Elves, singing, and the dragon enclosure, fairy-managed. "We were hoping that an effect of making the multiverse more interesting would be that more demons would take summons, and you wouldn't get a pool consisting mainly of ones who wanted to have an opening for trouble. I'd be curious if the rate of incidents bears that out."

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"We've been getting fewer reports but we think that might be because people decide to summon demons and then change their minds before they actually get one."

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"Is there a way to track the number of summons?"

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"Not easily. Conjuration for valid circles over time gets interrupted ones just as well as ones that get daeva."

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"Well, I'm very glad that incidents are down regardless of the reason. We've had some but we don't have a good baseline to compare against."

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"Oh? What's happened?"

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"Angel tried to persuade someone to snap her binding by claiming bindings were, like, physically itchy - another person heard and intervened, we're holding the angel for questioning - three cases of people committing suicide rather than pay the daeva, generally after agreeing accidentally to a deal that wasn't what they intended because of inexperience, miscellaneous sexual harassment complaints, one demon asked to hold a baby and then dropped it five times, claiming it was slippery..."

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"...why did the demon get the baby back after dropping it four times?"

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"Good question!"

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"Are people who can't commit suicide casually having trouble with agreeing to deals they didn't mean to?"

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"That's just Dwarves - and Godspring humans but they're doing only supervised summoning, right now - and there haven't been incidents reported. Neither of them are as naive as Elves so I'd expect fewer problems in that class - we're now running public service announcements -"

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"We chip in to those sometimes too, but usually they're under SSA branding."

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Nod. "People who've seen the war do not need an explanation that bad things can happen but in some of the societies where it's been peacetime for nearly four thousand years...they're running public service announcements with content like 'the linguistics society has now invented a word for 'forcing people to have sex' -"

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"...didn't even need a word for it?"

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"We hadn't, no. The violent crime rate in Valinor was, uh, six."

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"Ah."

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"In four thousand years. - I am not really helping the case that I'd be qualified to notice if Cam were a sociopath."

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"Not really."

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"We have people on staff who are not similarly handicapped."

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He flaps outside.

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"They done already?"

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"Not even close, but in 1802 electricity was cutting-edge and I've been focused on stuff useful for demoning and I don't have the background to keep up."

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"He won't repeat himself."

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"Yeah, I know, I planted an audio recorder and I'll ask Cam for suggestions on a physics curriculum and then study until I'm caught up. He has to sleep."

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"Not very often."

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"Anyway I just came out to feed the dragons -" squint - "which is done, what are you talking about -"

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"Elves being naive."

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"Timothy's been recording his interviews for a list to compete with Davidson's. After he sends them home he guesses whether they're trouble and eighty-two percent of the ones he thinks are trouble have had incidents or complaints but more satisfyingly none of the ones he thinks are okay had any - that's not true one guy had a complaint but we looked into it and he'd accidentally made something at a temperature too high to be safe for his summoner, when he was six days old -

- anyway you should watch the recordings and make your guesses and then we'll have data on whether being born human in the 1700s makes you better at noticing malicious people than being an Elf prince who is some ridiculous number of years old. Hi," he says to Niari, "I don't think I know you."

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"Niari's the interstellar coordinator for the GCP."

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"I'm honored," he says with apparent sincerity. Flap flap. "Milliways is surreal, isn't it?"

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"Yes. Yes it is."

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"Do you know enough physics to get me to lightleapers -"

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"I was always a terrible disappointment to my father in that respect, as far as I'm concerned they might as well be magic. They work by ...folding space?"

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"Being really really old is super wasted on Elves. No matter how long it would've taken you to learn -"

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"Other people invented electricity but I made sure every home in Valinor had it, other people invented the internet but I made sure every square meter of ground on Valinor had it -"

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"Yeah, yeah, okay. What does the interstellar coordinator do, listen to him say outrageous things and then fish up the magic to prove them?"

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"Charitably, I make sure I know what's going on in the multiverse and how it relates to our charter so we aren't caught off guard by weird magic or politics. Uncharitably I am here to make sure Rochelle doesn't have to talk to Maitimo."

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"Someone should declare Tireh interstellar coordinator of Beach and then you can meet her, she's cool, she's four years old, shorefolk are like the exact opposite of Elves."

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"Tireh?"

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"Is she here?" Mingling is Tireh here invite her outside -

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Tireh Minor invites you outside.

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Out comes Tireh!

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"Tireh, Niari is the interstellar coordinator for Revelation's Ganymede Circling Police. Niari, Tireh's been handling multiversal relations for the population of Beach."

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"Hello. I'm not an angel, I just have wings."

"Some humans have wings too, if they want them badly enough," says Niari.

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"They seem like they'd be very hard to dress around. Not if you were an angel, I suppose."

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"It's not that hard. We're mostly clothing optional at home anyway, it just happened to be getting cold so I had one on when I went dimension hopping."

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"Milliways has a rule about clothing, it's very particular of them."

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"If Milliways did not have that rule would you all be going around nude because wow."

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"We typically wear clothing."

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Giggle. "What's the big deal?"

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"I, uh, have no idea how to explain it. Particularly not to two interstellar coordinators and an alternate universe version of my own brother."

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"You don't actually have to be an interstellar coordinator to talk to me," Niari tells Tireh.

"Oh, good."

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"I apprised the GCP of the unique security and information security challenges Beach presents. I said I didn't think they urgently needed a plan for teleporting daeva, is that your estimation also?"

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"Yeah, the Valar have poked everyone and Cam introduced us to canned fish so it'll be a long while before anybody who summoned a daeva dies. Even if one of us did I think they'd just want to come back and mostly don't have enough imagination to object to a binding limiting their movements."

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"I cannot tell you how much it delights me to hear that."

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"I have sort of mixed feelings about everyone being really glad that my species is short on ambition and attention span!"

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"You had enough of both to find us pretty quickly, I was very impressed. But I do think it's good that people wouldn't have an ambition to go wander the multiverse unbound, because then we would have to discourage that ambition."

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Shrug. "I'm short on attention span the way Mirelótë is patient, I think. It's there but it's not getting in my way."

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Nod. "Niari, care to get a door to anywhere else in the multiverse while you're here?"

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"Are there things I ought to see rather than just hear about?"

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"People have nice things to say about our architecture and I could introduce you to some of my staff but I wouldn't call it important - I don't even know if Cir or Ruviri or Ava are around to get us a door to Godspring -"

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"Yeah, they are, Ava came down this morning with a list and I made the stuff for her so she wouldn't have to carry it upstairs."

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"Who are they?"

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"Cir and Ruviri are redmages, it's one of the Godspring magic kinds. Some Elves bought out their contracts with the Temple-Guild so they could have a personal redmage -"

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"I haven't met them but I don't think that was the order of operations."

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"Wait, who here wanted a personal redmage -"

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"Bright and Sunset - Sunset for, like, therapy reasons, Bright did not have therapy reasons."

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"Hm."'

Niari looks concerned.

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"There are a lot of safeguards in place, I'd be happy to review them with you if you'd like."

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"I have no basis for professional interest but I'm a bit curious, yes."

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"Cir and Ruviri have endured lots of questioning by people with a professional interest so I'd sooner not bother them, but I'd be happy to talk through the procedures with you. So the problem, obviously, is that by default mages' workload leaves them seriously disabled; we are funding reduced workloads but some ways of doing that just encourage maging more children in the first place. Anyone who would like to, personally, buy out a mage's indenture to their guild can do so, and so doing automatically makes that mage a citizen of the Noldor and due to some freedom of movement treaties also the Vanyar and the Teleri, and thereby eligible for our universal basic income, and if you want to buy out a mage's contracts you have to arrange a trust for them with the money, have a social worker come by to explain to them that their access to the money is unconditional and that under our laws you cannot, actually, be contractually obliged to be someone's redmage, have another social worker come by to explain to them how to seek redress in our courts, and arrange and pay for regular visits home to their temple-guild, which is empowered to complain - over my head if necessary - if they have concerns about anyone's treatment."

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Niari nods.

"Wow, that sounds excruciatingly complicated," says Tireh.

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" - do shorefolk not see anything concern-worthy about the possible arrangement -"

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"I think redmagery's icky from all angles, honestly."

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"I'm glad we have a better option than suicide for Angband survivors."

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"I don't have a good sense of why it even helps."

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"You'd have to ask Sunset."

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" - people in Revelation also might want to buy out mages, come to think of it -"

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"Well beyond my scope," says Niari.

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"Yeah. I think the vlog would be the wrong way to bring it to peoples' attention and I've kind of only got the one tool - you know politicians, right, Maitimo -"

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"I have in fact in my time become acquainted with a politician or two."

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"We don't even have politicians. So many things we don't have!"

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"You can make it without politicians at least until you have, like, the wheel."

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"You can make it without politicians a lot longer than that, Hell doesn't have any. It has neighborhood associations, I guess. Some people take them very seriously."

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"I don't know what those are!"

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"So admittedly the longest I've spent in Hell without getting impatient and taking a summons was eight hours? Not counting the time when I hid in my room and did all of med school in one shot. But, like, you might have preferences about how loud your neighbors are, or what your neighborhood looks like, or how frequently someone sets off a nuclear bomb because it's expressive of their feelings. And you might want to live with other people who share your preferences, and you might write up a charter describing what you guys want your neighborhood to be like, and then if you cared about it waaaay too much it might get a little out of hand and end up eight hundred pages long with a mailing list with several gigabytes of text arguments about the meaning of the eight hundred pages. I see why Cam got his own gravity well."

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"...so it's like arguing about the weather, but more so."

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"- arguing about the weather - oh, right, you guys can control the weather. Yeah. Like that."

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"When did you do all of med school in one shot?"

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"New Guinea."

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"- New Guinea?" says Niari.

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" - uh, I was taking randoms and this woman says 'whatever you want to put peoples' limbs back on before they bleed out so of course I said yes and their building had blown up and they didn't have a list of medical angels or time to wait for 'em so she just cut them free of the building with a hacksaw and I knew how to do anaesthetic by then but of course I couldn't say so and if I'd finished med school I'd have known how to do the amputations cleanly too - and people died - before I arrived, no one died once I took the summons, but still - and once I got back to Hell I hid in my room and did med school and had Cam check my work remotely - so if it ever happened again and the binding were looser I could actually help, because I could never ever live with myself if people died because I hadn't learned fast enough -"

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"This doesn't seem healthy," says Niari.

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"Well, now I've finished med school."

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"There are so many things I know nothing about because I am four years old from a Stone Age culture, I'm going to go back to my reading list," Tireh says.

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"I know that feeling," he says sympathetically. "You'll catch up."

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"You were older than any member of my species has ever been and from the Industrial Revolution!"

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"There's not much to catch up on between where you started and 1802. Most of the things humans did between the Stone Age and 1802 were bad ideas. Religion: don't bother. Crusades: super don't bother. Colonialism: ehhh. I hear good things about metalworking but then -" he makes a pretty gold goblet in midair and catches it - "uh, you're not likely to actually need it."

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"I'm not sure I want us to just have stuff appear and not know how we'd go about making it by not-appearing!"

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"It might be kind of hard to avoid? Like, I bet no one in Revelation knows how to make a computer. Non-demonically, I mean. There are people who know very detailed pieces, but the whole thing?"

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"Really? That's weird."

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"Specialization. It's very important. - and had been thought of by 1802 so I guess that disproves my earlier argument."

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"Also, like, this morning I didn't know what shoes were, or that you could start fires by means other than songburning a little lightning to make tinder catch."

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"Okay, fair, I will concede that shoes are a good idea."

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"Shall we head in?" he says to Niari.

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Niari nods.

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Inside they go.

 

Fëanáro is still delightedly expounding on the physics behind lightleapers. Timothy and Cam are working side-by-side. "I hear you've been making a demons list?"

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"Yeah, I figured with the wait times for randoms getting so high the least we could do was have reliable, well-sourced information on specific summons and talking to thousands of demons sounded like great fun so why not? It was also good cover for talking to the ones who found out about Beach. Hello," he adds to Niari. "I'm Timothy. Thanks so much for coming."

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"Niari. That's a good idea, Davidson's lists have been overtaxed and they're not keeping up."

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"Thanks. I want to do a bit more screening before I release it but I think it'll be good to have another option on the market. Did Minor suggest to you -"

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"That we check whether those of us from societies that didn't need to outlaw slavery still have the instincts to notice troublemakers? Yes, he did."

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"I bet you'll do okay? I feel like the thing I'm doing is just asking myself 'what does this person want' and I feel like if you were incapable of noticing when people wanted terrible things that would have impaired you at some point even among Elves."

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"If it'll help you make your recommendations more confidently we'll all take a look. If you have a bad feeling about someone but they don't have incidents -"

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"No recommendation, I trust my instincts and there are a lot of ways to hurt people without ever having gotten a complaint filed."

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"Davidson's doesn't screen that closely; it's mostly a way to match up skills with needs and payments with interests."

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"Which makes sense but since the screening isn't really an added cost I may as well make sure I'm keeping people as safe as I can. - I notice things like that very quickly and Cam tracks daeva incidents out of personal interest anyway -"

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She blinks.

Cam glances at Timothy.

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"Also I'm just abstractly interested in having numbers on my reliability," he says nonchalantly, and leans against Cam. "Does Davidson's include people interested in sex work -"

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"Yes, they do."

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He makes a face.

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"Giving people fewer options -"

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"Yes, yes, I know, but you can't even kill yourselves -"

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"I mean, we can't will our heart to stop but there exist options, if this is super relevant to whether Elves think one can consent to sex."

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"I think you're doing good work and I would like the project of giving people better options to proceed apace."

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"Cam, can you give him a copy of the screening videos -"

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Cam hands him a copy of the screening videos.

"I think I'm missing something," says Niari.

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" - the state of having promised a daeva you will have sex with them as payment, being one that you can't renegotiate unless the daeva wants to, isn't compatible with consent as we understand it. I do think it's appropriate to have it on the list, but -"

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"The Safe Summoning Authority recommends insisting on payment on advance."

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"That would resolve my reservations, yes."

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"I'm not the Godspring project manager but I think most relevant countries in Godspring want the GCP handling incidents that occur there, are you guys likely to be up for that?"

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"We can accept more subscriptions, yes."

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"If subscribing nations get a vote or something you might want to rejigger things so that a voting majority of your members aren't monarchs who recently abolished slavery at Elfpoint and do not share your concerns for humaneness and so on."

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"Subscribing nations are allowed votes on some things but not to the point where I'd think that would be a problem, unless they actively object to humaneness."

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"Some of them might - Hazel governments would - what problems would that create?"

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"I guess if they voted as a bloc they could keep getting rid of directors until they found one who'd do what they want? But then we'd lose Revelation subscribers, so I doubt it would come to that, we'd drop them first."

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Nod. "Nice meeting you. What do you think of Milliways?"

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"Bit surreal."

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"Isn't it just. Walking in here from 1802 made for a very exciting day."

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"I can hardly imagine."

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"Cam, do you mind getting the door for us -"

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Cam opens the door to Revelation.

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"I really do appreciate that you made the time to stop by," he says to Niari. 

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"Thanks so much for the invitation, it was fascinating."

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"I'll let you know if Beach becomes more pressingly a concern, or when we run into anything else out there that's your purview. Would it be convenient for us to pay a fairy for the ride home -"

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"It would save me a few minutes but it's not a great hassle, really."

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"Whatever's easiest for you. As you might have noticed we have more demons running around than we know what to do with."

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"I have noticed. I don't want to contribute to the wait time."

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"Makes sense. Have a lovely day."

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And she goes.

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And he watches Timothy's interviews and looks for troublemakers.

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He is not especially in the mood to conduct more interviews; he reorganizes his list.

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"Why did you drop the tidbit about my watching daeva incidents, what were you going to do if she were suddenly really curious."

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"Offer to compare notes? There are lots of reasons someone might track daeva incidents besides 'is Revelation and likes knowing to five decimal places how positive-sum he was."

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"One decimal place."

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"I love you. Anyway, I'll be careful about which tidbits if you prefer it but - the thing where people have exactly one piece of information about you and it's 'holed a planet' really bothers me. 'holed a planet, plays violin' is tolerable, 'holed a planet, tracks daeva incidents, wags his tail when learning about new magic systems' is good..."

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Cam sighs and leans his head on Timothy's shoulder. "I don't see how advertising 'the black hole demon plays violin because he thought that one song about soul-stealing was funny' helps."

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"Song about soul-stealing?"

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"Would you like me to perform 'The Devil Went Down To Georgia'. It was funnier when I was twenty-five."

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"Yes I would. I am not yet twenty-five, it'll probably be hilarious."

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Cam kisses him and makes himself a violin and does the whole thing.

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It's hilarious. "When people are being really annoying around you - not Niari, more annoying than that - I am very tempted to say "Cam, trade you my soul for a copy of the paper?" but then I imagine the face you'd make."

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"She wasn't even annoying."

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"No, she wasn't. She seems very capable and she'd been forewarned and she was entirely reasonable and still you - shrunk -"

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Sigh.

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"They're not keeping you unbound as a courtesy, you know, it's because we are all a hell of a lot safer when you have more choices."

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"I don't expect her to feel that way on a gut level and have no desire to scare her by appearing - unsubdued."

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"I respect that. It's still hard to watch."

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"Sorry."

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"I was not angling for an apology." Sigh. "I hear Beach has canned salmon these days?"

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"Beach has canned salmon and tuna and sardines and crab and clams and they're really into it. It's cute."

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"Awwwww. You going to try to convince 'em to ethically source their sealskins?"

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"I replaced Tireh's in case she makes any diplomatic visits with anyone who'd ask. Not a huge priority for me otherwise except incidentally if they run out of seals on some island they won't go cold."

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The whole set of Maitimos reviews the videos of Timothy talking with demons. They have very high but not perfect correspondence; the Sanity ones are in fact likeliest to miss somebody that Timothy or Midnight thinks is suspicious. 

 


Timothy edits his demons list for release.

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Minor checks every few hours if he's facing murder charges.

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He is not.

 

He receives a letter from the daughter of the guy he murdered.

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It opens by saying she doesn't expect a reply and he doesn't have to read it.

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He totally reads it.

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My name is Pia Pichler; I don't know if you know who I am but it is entirely my fault that you were trapped in my parents' backyard on Thursday. I watched some of your show and for some reason when I took my life my browsing history was ransacked to discover that it had to do with knowing I would only be moved, not actually dead. (I summoned my great-grandfather first, to be sure, but somehow they implicated you and not him for showing up and verifying the story!)

My beloved Papa is a wonderful man but you did not see him to best advantage because he was so terribly upset because I would not come when called; it is easily the most selfish thing I have ever done and I am quite appalled at myself for it. Please understand I did not mean to cast any doubt on your claims which are after all entirely true! It is only I suspected that if I appeared when my parents asked for me I would soon find myself picking up precisely where I had left off and that was not at all what I had in mind when I put everything I was doing so abruptly down. Papa, like the authorities, blamed you and not me or his grandfather. I hope you can trust me when I say he did not mean to leave you there for very long; he says and I believe that he was simply so angry when he saw you in person that he went away rather than break down, and would have come back to shout at you in a more composed fashion once calmer. It is still quite inexcusable and I would not blame you a bit for being furious with him even if you had not been on your way to an emergency.

Papa is well and no one except Mama and I know what happened and it shall stay just so. The moment he died some fairies put him in clothes and gave him a cunning little device fairies use to look for their relatives who may be in Fairyland, and he found me in less than a minute, whereupon I agreed at once to come back to Earth since he assured me no one would be expecting me at school a second before I cared to reenroll. Your brother gave him a fright but it did not last nearly so long as the one you suffered and he is safe at home now.

Yours,
Pia

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Minor cries. Minor cries for a couple of hours and then goes outside and lets the dragons nibble him. 

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Miranda finds him. "Are you okay?"

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Letter.

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"Well I guess that's nice of her."

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"I'm not going to jail for twice as long as my entire life. And - it's good to get reminded that - people are mostly just okay and doing their best -"

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Nod. Hug.

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So very much hug.

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"Maybe you should show it to Theodore too."

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"Probably. - he shouldn't have done that but if he hadn't I probably would be in jail so -"

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"I'm not totally sure he shouldn't have done it. Well. That maybe depends on whether he would have actually left the guy there if he hadn't been apologetic."

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"I don't think for very long but with Milliways 'very long' can get weird. I'm glad he did it, anyway, this seems much - nicer than most other ways it could've gone. And the EU escort vote's soon and I feel like if I'd gotten arrested for murder that'd hurt the cause. Do you know where Theodore is -"

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"No, but we have magic powers."

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Giggle. 

 

Theodore, it transpires, is playing park ranger in India at the moment.

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"I'm not your summoner and if you didn't want to be dismissed right now I wouldn't blame you at all, but that means it anybody checks, escort law violation, unless we bring Timothy."

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"I've been kinda ignoring that law but I probably shouldn't."

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"Well, Timothy might be happy to come along."

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"He's busy with the list but we can probably talk him into it. But, like, I was thinking it would be fun while we were out to, uh, go sightsee and eat at fancy rstaurants and stuff and we can't do that with my brother along."

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"Well, how exactly is the escort law worded."

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"Varies -" he pulls up India's.

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"Well, this doesn't say there can't be walls between you and him. I guess we don't know how hex-happy... or whatever it is when it's not hexes... the people there are though."

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"Could just get dismissed and resummoned I've done it hundreds of times and usually nothing goes wrong -"

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"About how long can you tell apart a new circle from an old one?"

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"Like...ten seconds? If I conjure something or pay attention to something else then it's just one of the background ones -"

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"What if you brought Cam and he conjured it for you real quick?"

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"- that'd probably work."

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"You would probably have to go to his house the long way though."

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"He could open the door and let us both in, I just don't know what happens if I'm dismissed in Hell."

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"Yeah, exactly, you'd probably be back on the plane of gold and have to fly up to him."

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"There's no real reason to be paranoid, it usually works fine -"

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"You've had enough excitement for a while. We can always wait."

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"Maybe tomorrow."

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"Okay." Kiss.

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Eeeeeeeeeee.

 

The next day he checks if any of the circles out for him are terrible.

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None of the ones he can conjure are terrible!

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Then he will chance having Timothy dismiss him and Miranda resummon him.

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There are no scary changes in how many circles there are when Miranda's comes through! There she is. She hugs him.

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Hug!!!! And then they can go to India.

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India is neat!

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There are lots of sights to see; most of them didn't exist yet in 1802.

Window To The Wild park's dragon exhibit is well-trafficked.

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Do they get any perks for knowing a ranger person.

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"Theodore gives tours on the hour, I suppose he might be willing to give one even though it's half-past? You can't get any closer, it's not safe - well, uh, our insurance doesn't have rules about exceptions for daeva and it's, uh, not safe for humans..."

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"That's okay."

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Theodore finds them a bit later. "Minor! Miranda! Hi!"

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"Hi! Thank you for the thing with the fairy."

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"Figured you'd like it better than whatever I'd end up doing if they arrested him."

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"That is a way to think about it."

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"Well, were you going to let him sit there for thirty years slowly going crazy? Did you read the books, when we go crazy we super go crazy - like, admittedly that's the Elf versions but still -"

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"I would have tried to think of something."

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"I thought of something."

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Hug. "How're Raymond and Abby -"

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"Happy as can be! They'll be grown up in about three years, and they might need more space then, but for now this is a good enclosure size, they haven't been spitting at each other over territory or anything..."

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"How hard is it going to be to get them to breed later?"

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"Hard to say until they're grownups - they're not a finicky species or anything, but perhaps 2180 is infectious and now Abby is gay."

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"Doesn't work that way."

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"You're not an expert on dragons."

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"I don't think it's infectious."

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"It is admittedly kind of unlikely. Anyway we'll just have to wait and see. It's not looking like Hazel's gonna be moving by then so I can just hang out here - though I might drop out of Hogwarts anyway -"

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"I'd feel weird about dropping out but it's just going to get weirder and weirder to go back."

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"Yeah. Three scrolls of parchment on the third goblin uprising - if I didn't drop out I would just write for all my essays 'I have walked barefoot on the surface of the Moon'."

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"You have?"

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"Yes. It was fantastic."

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"What does moon dust feel like?"

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"- mostly like sand, only drier? And colder."

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Nod.

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"You should get out more, Revelation's - as okay as a world full of people can get. I'm not a big fan of people but I think this is them at their best."

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"Do you mean humans or do you think this beats, like, Sanity?"

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"I haven't spent any time there but my Elf alts don't seem significantly less misanthropic so I'm guessing my issue isn't just with humans."

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"Anyway, what should we see besides this zoo?"

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He can totally recommend places!!

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Awesome!

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And they can have a lovely and hopefully totally uneventful tour of the star system. He reads the letter to Theodore before they go. Theodore is pleased by the letter.

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It's a nice letter. Pia sounds like a nice girl.

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"She sounds like she needed some Slytherins in her life. But yeah."

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"What would we have done?"

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"I dunno, when someone is calling 'not returning home to a environment that drove them to suicide' as the most selfish decision they ever made I can't help but think they should maybe have been making more selfish decisions sooner."

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"It sounded to me like she just hated school."

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"Yeah. But if 'slit your wrists' feels more viable than 'drop out' - or 'take a year off' -"

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"There's that."

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"Anyway. Have fun."

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"We will."

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They do!!! They visit miscellaneous historical sites and watch a play in the reconstructed Globe theatre in London and go up the Eiffel Tower invisibly since it's closed for some holiday and walk barefoot on the Moon and - "we should visit that lonely old lady who likes kidnapping me for lectures."

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"The one who wants you to get me presents?"

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"Yeah."

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"Sure, why not."

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So they find her house and knock.

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Lecture lady opens the door. She is surprised.

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"Hi! We were in town and thought we'd say hi. This is Miranda."

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"Hello," says Miranda.

"Well," says lecture lady. "I don't usually get visitors but I suppose it would be a bit silly to offer you cookies and tea? Come in, why don't you."

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"Thank you!" In they go.

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"Minor made me some things from the books you gave him," Miranda says.

"Good, good, I'm glad to hear it."

"What's your actual name?"

"Dolores. My actual as opposed to -?"

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"Well, you never introduced yourself."

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"What have you been calling me?" she asks.

"Lecture lady," says Miranda.

Dolores laughs.

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"I was scared of you for a while because I'd conjure for the circles out for me before I took any and I wouldn't take any if there were some that looked like they could be someone meaning to keep me locked away somewhere -"

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"Oh, goodness, no, I wasn't going to keep you."

"You don't let him talk."

"I like to say my piece without being interrupted, that's all."

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"I wasn't scared after the first time. But not letting me talk is - predictive of - planning to hurt me. Or keep me."

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"Well, now you know," says Dolores. "Does that happen frequently?"

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" - three-and-a-half times so far? Enough to make me worry about it."

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"You poor thing, you can't be more than sixteen!"

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"I don't think I'm sixteen for another six months or so although Milliways makes counting a bit hard."

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"Milliways?"

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"The place where we're hanging out while Hazel's paused."

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"I don't watch all of your videos."

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"Well Milliways is weird and makes it hard to guess how old I am but I am almost definitely fifteen. Not that the stupid flamethrower cult cared."

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Miranda squeezes his hand.

"You have to watch out for cults! They eat up ordinary decent people who are having a rough time and sometimes take years to spit them out if they ever do," says Dolores.

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"Yeah, if I had an angle on dismantling it which wouldn't get me in trouble with the GCP I'd totally go for it. But I don't."

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"Well, they're tricky, can't just take them apart like you would a house."

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"I think Timothy'd, like, join, and then just individually convince everyone to quit? But you have to be Timothy to do that."

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"And that would be a very dangerous strategy!"

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"Well, maybe. He wouldn't exactly get cultified."

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"A lot of people think that but long enough living on nothing but tomato soup and two hours of sleep a night will fuzz even a very determined mind."

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"He would probably sneak food. Anyway I can't ask Timothy to break up a random cult in Canada with like twenty members, he is doing things that are higher-priority and he'd miss his boyfriend."

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"And there's not much the law can do if they all say they prefer to eat nothing but tomato soup. Self-determination, they call it, as though that's what's going on in there."

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"Gonna be a lot of places in the multiverse like that and maybe some of them will be worth carefully dismantling."

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"Well, don't you get mixed up in any cults if you can avoid it, you're far too young and impressionable and your little girlfriend would miss you."

"I think I am medium-sized," says Miranda.

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"And I don't think I am very impressionable."

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"Well, I suppose you'd have less trouble about the sleep and the tomato soup."

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"And if people do things that look like trying to coerce me I promptly make that into the worst decision they could possibly have made, it's like a reflex."

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"I'm not sure I follow," says Dolores.

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"I'm not actually sure I know how to explain. But some guy locked me in his closet for - I don't know how long he was planning, years I think, the police made him stop - because he thought I was trying to do social engineering to get demons a better reputation and as soon as I got released I made eight more videos, tripled my viewership, organized a strike on gags, ran the strike on gags, and appeared on a bunch of talk shows. The GCP told me to stop telling people they become daeva when they die and I switched to streaming round-the-clock doing nonstop live interviews with people who became daeva when they died. If a cult leader tried to tell me not to say something I would stud the surrounding countryside for a mile around with speakers chanting the thing. It runs in the family."

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"My goodness," says Dolores.

"Do you ever worry that this trait might be subject to reverse psychology," says Miranda.

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"You or Timothy'd probably notice."

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"We weren't exactly on the scene identifying reverse psychology tactics for you any of those times."

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"Reverse psychology requires understanding psychology and the people making decisions at the GCP are dumber than the rock they built their jail on. I spied on the Moons to figure out what they wanted but I guess if they'd thought to falsify that they could've tricked me until the point where Timothy got involved."

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Sigh. Hug.

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Hug. 

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"You two are very cute together," says Dolores.

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"Miranda's the best. So, know any sights we should see?"

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"Oh yes, there are some lovely museums -" She has a whole list.

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"Thank you! Can I get you anything?"

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"You probably can't get my grandchildren to visit, but I'm all right, dear. Run along."

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They see more sights.

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Sights are great!

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Miranda is great!

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Yes. Yes she is. (So is Minor.)

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He thinks so too.