He keeps track of things like that. Every prominent family has a few unfortunate grandchildren and it's very convenient. This one haplessly walked into a pyramid scheme, that one cheated on her husband after two childless springs and has a secret purple baby, this one choked his yellow girlfriend nearly to death and it caused a fuss and he's dated farther down since but he hasn't stopped doing it...

He hears about this one. He suggests to the police that they delay publishing the blotter. He drops by the office of senior councilwoman Mitasel Neli and does not say anything.

Mitasel Neli has a mysterious hole in her schedule. 

"Neither she nor I nor the police nor her escort nor even I imagine the reds would like for anything to have occurred. It shouldn't be too difficult for someone with your connections."

"I'll try, but, uh, I don't have a clear picture of exactly how much misadventuring needs to never have occurred."

"As I understand if, my granddaughter went on an ill-advised trip to the red district, then failed to properly decontaminate on her way out. Apparently she was somehow mistaken for a red attempting to sneak out and was injured resisting arrest. She was not in fact a red, but now the police are obliged to prosecute the pollution violation. Everyone would prefer that her case be quietly dismissed for lack of evidence."

Mitasel stamps a piece of paperwork rather harder than strictly necessary.

"What a regrettable misunderstanding." How did the police end up mistaking blue and red. How did she survive resisting arrest, if they thought she was red. What did she touch. 

He does not ask Mitasel these questions. He does have someone stop by the police station to ask them.

Shae is not available, as she is currently in the prison infirmary. 

A grey in an immaculately-tailored suit is on hand to answer questions, however. 

Her report consists of the following facts:

1: Her charge, Shae Alamet, escaped her watchful guidance in the late hours of last night when she was asleep.

2: Shae then proceeded to dye her hair and have unknown misadventures in the red district. 

3: Despite her investigative and combat training, Atha only barely managed to find her charge in time to prevent a death by misadventure. 

4: Nobody has any idea how much of the city Shae has tracked through in contaminated clothing, and she's in no condition to answer at the moment. 

5: Mitasel Neli should be informed that Atha will expect hazard pay for tracking her charge through the red district. 

Entin Saladae doesn't work for Mitasel Neli - "or, uh, I don't think so? Definitely I don't work for her in the sense where I could be informing her of things. I'm not sure I'd do that for any amount of money, fuck. How far was she from the district when they found her - why'd they think she was red - did she dye her hair red -"

Atha holds up a palm-sized bottle of very visibly red dye. 

"I have no idea where she managed to find this, and I'm sure I'm going to have a very interesting discussion with her about where it came from once she finishes sleeping things off. We don't think she got far — she was trying to get the dye out of her hair..." 

Atha grimaces. "We don't think anyone has been directly exposed save the arresting officers and myself, but it was very nearly an unmitigated disaster."

"Uh huh. How many people know about the whole mess -"

"Myself, the two arresting officers, their immediate superior, their superior's superior, the liaison in charge of delicate blue affairs, and some unknown number of witnesses, at minimum the one who called in the 'escaping red.'"

"Do you have names?"

"I can give you a list for your pocket everything of the relevant people at the station and the one known witness." 

"Thank you." Sigh. "Does she have the money to pay everyone off herself, or -"

"If she had that kind of sense, would she be in this situation?"

"The Oahk Empire killed more than half of Voa's blues and I don't think Voa's suffered in the slightest for having half as many," he says while copying the list to his pocket everything. "I bet it'd be the same with half again as many."

Atha shrugs. "Eh. Her family pays me well, and she prevents my life from ever becoming anywhere in the vicinity of boring." 

"She tracked filth all over the city and smeared it all over the police and if no one had caught her - what if she's done it before -"

Atha raises an eyebrow. 

"I'm not that blind: she got a fifteen minute head start. As for the filth..." 

She shrugs. "I'm a professional bodyguard. If a red swings a fist at my charge, the last thing I can afford to do is flinch to put myself between the red and them. Anti-aversion training came with the job." 

" - people shouldn't be in, uh, fist-length. And you get the sticks, if you're going to need to be. Maybe they can find some real red, execute them for fleeing the district, reassure all the witnesses."

Atha grimaces. "Did I say I enjoyed it? I went and showered for about two hours straight just as soon as the crisis was over. My training's what let me deal with it, even though I had no chance at a stick and had to go be with reds. Ugh." 

She shakes her head. "Better to look on the bright side: big fat bonus for me, I'm alive, my charge's still alive despite her suicide attempt, and the city's still clean enough."

"I guess it could've gone worse," he agrees. "Thanks for the names."

"Thanks for safeguarding my paycheck." 

He makes a face. "Number if you need me is 2895-0044-3172."

She nods. "I'll keep you updated."

Aitim sends Mitasel an invoice for nearly two hundred thousand ni in investment advice. Witness can get a courtesy phone call followup informing them that the culprit has been found, did not survive to stand trial, the following areas are closed for cleaning, thank you for your service to the city. Police officers can get absurdly generous bonuses. The bodyguard is not his problem.

And once the unfortunate granddaughter is clean and lucid he'll stop by.

Her grey bodyguard is sitting in the station waiting room, reading a magazine. As Aitim passes by on his way to the cells, she glances up momentarily.  

Her face becomes a mask of mild interest: her gaze returns to the magazine.

He keeps walking. 

The unfortunate blue granddaughter is sitting in her cell, looking terminally bored.

"Hello," he says. "All of the costs of your conduct have been successfully shunted off so that other people end up paying them."

"Are you here to lecture me, then? Heard it all before, got the minder, doesn't help." She jerks her head in the direction of the cellblock door, where her grey is waiting for her. "If you have an actually useful suggestion, I'm all ears. If you're just here to repeat the 'how can you be so irresponsible and terrible' lecture or try to send me to some orange, you can safely leave that to my actual family."

"Oh, I'd be delighted if you keep it up - uh, short of getting yourself killed, at which point you cease to be useful leverage. I am quite literally just here to inform you that all of the costs of your conduct will be paid by other people, and I haven't the slightest opinion about whether you should feel sadistic glee or total indifference or vague guilt about that."

"You, uh, might have to get more involved in my life if you'd like to keep your investment, then. I'm kiiiiiiind of notoriously unreliable."

She tilts her head. "Incidentally, have you ever met a red? Turns out they're astonishingly like people."

"I haven't, why would I want to do that? We're going to have to kill a couple of them to cover for you if the witness isn't satisfied with the vague followup she got."

"... I'd love to be all flippant and 'yeah that was worth it', but honestly that makes me feel like crap. Dunno why I'm telling you that, it's not like it's gonna be my responsibility in a, you know, criminal-justice sort of way. I guess I mean try not to kill any reds on my behalf, that'd be dumb. I mean, maybe one would be okay, I'm allowed to pick myself, but..." 

She trails off, shaking her head. 

"What a fucking mess."

"I take it cliff diving and backcountry skiing don't cut it? What about foreign espionage or something?"

"Cliffs and mountains are very far away from anything else interesting, and can you imagine me trying to keep a secret? Yeah, no. I'm a city girl at heart and I've already given my family enough heart attacks from scaling miscellaneous buildings. Why do you ask, are you the kind of person who could get me a foreign intelligence posting?"

"If it'd keep you out of trouble rather than getting you into it, sure."

"I'm really really tempted to say it would keep me out of trouble, but I prooooooobably shouldn't ever be entrusted with anything that could maybe possibly start a war."

"Oh, I wouldn't send you anywhere where even the most outrageous antics could start a war. Get you killed, though, yes, and then your poor grandmother'd be so unhappy and so much harder to angle into things. Are you planning to do this until it gets you killed, or are you hoping you'll stumble on an enticing life path eventually?"

"I'm hoping that eventually I'll figure out either A: how not to be so damn impulsive, or B: some job or whatever with enough ridiculous novelty that it'll keep me from being stupid. So far... Yeah, you can see how that's been going for me. Atha is a nice distraction but even she's not always around."

"And sometimes she's right next to you and you run off anyway. If we revoke your train passes so it takes you longer to get to places where you can do stupid things, will that give you time to notice when you're making stupid decisions or does that not occur to you until several days later?"

"Tried it already. No, it makes me miserable and inspires me to get creative with the contents of my house arrest location. That or I just dodge the security, I'm good at that by now. Part of me would like to bet you about a thousand ni that I could escape from here all on my own if I really wanted to, but the rest of me notes that I haven't tried that plan for very good reasons."

"They'll kill you. I'm not sure how badly you actually want to avoid that but breaking out of prison is one of the things that'll do it. If you like the reds I'd be tempted to suggest you quietly liaison for 'em but that's a job it's actually important not to fuck up."

"Yeah, major containment breach is also one of those things that tends to get you executed. I do in fact care if I die, it's just that I seem to have trouble understanding that the future exists. Fortunately 'the officers in this police station outnumber me ten to one' is something that does actually get through to my hindbrain. The reds seem alright from the eh, three or four hours I spent with them in disguise? I doubt none of them clocked me, I don't know how to talk like one, but they do seem decent. Enough so that being entrusted with them would be, yeah, really stupid."

Jinx pauses, then rubs the bridge of her nose. 

"... You really, really should not have suggested that option to me even in passing."

"Is that so. Because you'll do it, do it badly, and hurt people you actually care about?"

"...Basically yeah. My brain has decided that that sounds like an Interesting Thing that I have a Unique Perspective On and fuck."

She drops her head into her hands.

"I'm going to have to take diplomacy lessons, aren't I."

"I can't say I found them that unbearable."

"Not the lessons that are the problem. The problem is that I'm terminally honest about things I care about and I am really not looking forward to having to deal with that habit. Comes with the impulsivity."

"Maybe they'll appreciate it. Then you just have to report to someone who also appreciates it, much easier than learning how to tell a lie."

"Okay, fair! Maybe this won't turn into an unmitigated disaster after all, she says like that hasn't been the prelude to dozens of other disasters before."

"At least this one can't get anyone of value killed."

"Are you deliberately trying to annoy me, or does it just come naturally? Just five seconds ago you were saying this was actually important, and you would know, you're Aitim Neli. Honestly I've been tempted to try the same solution your genius father did, but I never was consistent enough with the hair dye. Plus I don't bet I could stick with any given colour for long enough. It was your father who went green, right? I might have the relation wrong, remembering misc facts isn't my forte."

"Let's say I am curious about what annoys you and about how you handle it. My father in fact hated being blue so much he decided to see what happened if he opted out, but he's managed not to break any laws subsequently which is rather the key to pulling that kind of thing off."

"One crime at a time, yeah. You don't need to worry about anger management issues, really: what happens to me is that I get some idea that sounds great and I run with it without ever really considering wether it's a good plan in practice. This time round it was 'You know, I have no clue how reds actually live, I bet they do things interestingly differently' and I had this bottle of spare hair dye kicking around from a theme party at one of those horror events, kind of in bad taste but not illegal or anything...  annnnd then I realize that I was not so clever at dodging my escort as I had appeared, panic happens and I run for it sloppily, everything goes tits-up."

"Do you follow foreign affairs? Olvala's getting rid of their reds. Teaching purples to do the work."

"... interesting choice of words, there. Are you proposing a plan of some form, because I'd appreciate one. My plans are crap."

"I don't see Anitam copying them, honestly. Our purples aren't chomping at the bit to do disgusting jobs for red wages and we're a big country, it'd be logistically complicated. But once some places have killed off and replaced their reds, then the roboticists can go work there in peace. And once there are robots ready for order, yep, we'll surround the districts and light them afire and bring in the robots, no question. Five years out, maybe ten, but in our lifetimes certainly."

"... Listen, I'm bad at math and I like chaos and fire more than the next girl, but even I'm going 'what the hell' at that. Reds are people. Disgusting people, sure, so am I. Killing them all because their ancestors got the shit end of the stick? That's..." 

She shakes her head. 

"Uh huh. So let's maybe think of something else. I have people in Orvara documenting their procedures, trying to make the case it's not good enough. But it can get better. That just buys time, it doesn't change the - slope things are rolling down, and it doesn't change what's at the bottom of the hill."

"If you're asking me to get creative at it, I can definitely do that."

"I do think it requires creativity. It also requires credibility, though, so I think you should keep as low a profile as you possible can. And follow the pollution laws like millions of lives depend on it."

"Low profile is going to be hard, but I can follow decontamination procedures just fine when my head's screwed on right. Have you actually talked to my professional head-screwer-oner?"

"Atha? I haven't."

"You should. You really, really should. She is the least boring person I've ever met to date. Might or might not beat you out, I don't know you well enough yet."

"Perhaps I have all the excitement I could desire in life."

"In my admittedly uninformed opinion, she's much more your type. Sometimes I wonder if she'dve been better off as a blue."

"Most people would be better off blue, even ones not at all suited to it."

"She's been my nursemaid for years now. Give me a little credit towards a complete understanding of her personality."

"Oh, I'm not challenging you, just the framework. Why'd you sneak away from her?"

"... I have honestly no idea. I mean, I can lay out the sequence of steps that got me from there to here, but logic's got nothing to do with it."

Sigh. "Okay. I'll go talk with her."

She nods and smiles. "Good plan. And good luck with the reds project, Aitim."

"Likewise." He goes to find Atha.

Atha is waiting in the waiting room, hardly budged from where he last saw her. 

She closes her magazine and looks at him expectantly.

"I gave her a job. I think she cares about it; I am not sure that's sufficient to make her good at it. She thinks you might make up the difference."

"I see. My life certainly never stops getting more interesting."

"Is that what you look for in it?"

Atha tilts her head. 

"... Before I met Jinx, I would have unhesitatingly answered that question with 'yes.' Now I don't."

Jinx, he doesn't say. "I would like a very uninteresting life, personally. In this case I'll settle for - she could maybe do more good than harm."

"She could. She means well, but she won't slow down long enough to let a therapist catch up to her, and she doesn't want to be ordered around by one anyway. Fortunately I've lived an interesting enough life to not bore her, and she seems to understand that I'm on her side, more or less."

"Well, good luck to you both."

She offers him a business card, crisp and stiff and professionally textured.

"If you ever need a grey for something interestingly novel, feel free to contact me. My qualifications are online, if you would like to go on something more than the word of a manic blue heiress."

"It sounded like you had a bit of a full-time job but I'll keep that in mind."

Atha bobs her head in a nod. "Fair enough."

He hands her his contact information as well. "Best of luck."

"Hopefully I won't need it."

"I consider myself an optimist and yet I do expect you to need some luck."

She hides a smile. "I said hopefully."

"Fair enough." And he leaves.