This post's authors have general content warnings that might apply to the current post.
View Flat HTML
View Metadata
Search Post
Several meta layers up, there is a... room.
As a courtesy to those of its occupants who prefer rooms, it does have a modality in which it presents itself that way: a room, with as many chairs as it needs, and a bulletin board, and a vending machine with candy and chips and concepts sold for nothing to anyone with the right prerequisites.
On the bulletin board, if one chooses to perceive it as a bulletin board (and not as a wiki or a flower or an ineffable cloud of information or an eternally malleable clay tablet) people whose only common trait is that they get to come here leave each other notes.
Notes about physics, about magic, about grand sweeps of narrative. Notes from people desperate to fix a never-ending heap of problems, smug about the condition of their homes, curious about the wider omniverse. Signed with names and sigils and "you ought to know who I am". Terse or verbose or nested with as much meaning as interests the reader.
In the vending machine, if one chooses to perceive it as a vending machine (and not a basket or a fruiting tree or a file repository or a crystalline fractal) are many things... and they have notes connecting them to their reviews on the bulletin board.
This one, for instance. She (it's usually, but not invariably, a she) has fairly glowing reviews from most of her previous purchasers. Here is what you need to install her; here are some things that are recommended for best results but optional especially if you just want to use her as a beacon for her other instances; here are some things she comes with as add-ons you can take or leave; here is what she is good for. The reviewers who don't like her are annoyed that theirs was too good at it, if you read between the lines. Well, that and the fact that if your universe is unpleasant enough sometimes these critters figure out how to flip you off and leave before they figure out how to solve all your problems. (There is a tangent thread about alternative solutions to similar problems which come bundled with stronger irrational attachment to their homes, but they have more stringent installation requirements.)
They come in these colors and styles; you will need to compensate for the following standard-issue drawbacks in some way if you require services of them that intersect with those areas of disability; they are only rated for upbringings of the following severity and are less likely to hate you if you stay thoroughly under that limit and less likely to fail at important goals if they are given opportunity to self-educate; if you have a way to generate them as instant adults they can begin work immediately but on the standard trajectory age six is the absolute earliest and teens is customary...
There is a chart (if one chooses to perceive it as a chart) of template interactions that have been tried before, but a lot of the more interesting accessory and companion templates are out-of-network for some visitors. What a pity.
swordofeden
"Yes it does! Instinctive understanding of Angelic, that's great. Definitely try poking at it next time you get hurt a little bit."
giftedandtalented
Hugs. "I trip a lot. Maybe I can divinely not trip. Or magically not trip." She writes down that she should ask her magic tutor about that so she can use her divinity only on things that are not best done with magic.
swordofeden
"Oh well. I'm afraid I don't have any easy answers for this one, kiddo, but it's entirely possible magic or miracles can fix it."
swordofeden
"Yeah. Considering the kinds of healings Jesus got up to it would be kind of strange if you couldn't miracle it away eventually, but it may be that magic has a faster solution."
giftedandtalented
"And then I could save my battery for other stuff." Hmmm. "Is there a good way to know ahead of time when somebody might be going to Hell?"
swordofeden
"To know? No. To guess? Yes. Rapists, child abusers--anything that takes a really nasty kind of person to do is a potential indicator."
giftedandtalented
"I should probably heal them in particular when I can heal people then so they can stop being bad in time. That works, right? Stopping?"
swordofeden
"The problem isn't so much the action as the willingness. Someone who would throw a baby into a crocodile pit for spare change but isn't given the opportunity is just as much at risk as someone who actually throws a baby into a crocodile pit for spare change. Changing your mind works."
giftedandtalented
"Oh." Pause. "But nobody collects people who would do bad things all in one place and the ones who actually do are usually in prisons probably so that's still a thing I should probably do. And then tell them to be nicer."
swordofeden
"Yes. And it is willingness, not inclination--someone who wants to do something terrible but is given the opportunity and refuses, or would refuse given the opportunity, is usually okay. And by 'usually' I mean as long as there aren't other damning factors."
swordofeden
"If you have an opportunity to throw a baby in a crocodile pit, and refuse because you would never harm a child, but then you go and torture a grown man to death. For example."
swordofeden
"Come to think of it, it might be a good idea to be at least moderately discreet about prioritizing healing at-risk persons, because then you get people who have cancer or other terminal disease being incentivized to do the kinds of things that get your attention."
swordofeden
"Yeah. Law of unintended consequences: going with the first version of a plan without going over it for the obvious points of human failure is doomed to myriad unfortunate side effects."
swordofeden
"Anything that's intended to affect the behavior of large groups of persons is especially tricky, too."