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Morty knows he shouldn't be screwing around with multidimensional shit. It's dangerous, it's impractical, it's blah blah blah. But it's a potential key to unlimited energy, how does nobody see that? He's built a dimensional siphon (it kind of looks like a cardboard box with a funnel and a TI-84 taped to it, but it damn well works), keyed in the dimensional coordinates to a random plane, and by God he's going to use it.
He flips the switch and waits for the energy bar to fill up.
It does! It fills up very rapidly. Then it explodes, along with the box. There's rather more smoke than there should be, and once the smoke clears someone is standing there.
"Oh dear," Morty says faintly.
Flicker at Whateley
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in-like-a
"Oh Christ. I think that'd only dispense radioactive death."
Ariel zooms in to pat Bella comfortingly on the shoulder, regardless.
Ariel zooms in to pat Bella comfortingly on the shoulder, regardless.
in-like-a
"I can barely envision what he'd look for in a girl, even. I mean, I can only assume she'd have the same taste in cartoons as him, and... I dunno, tits probably? That sounds about right."
point_b
"I do not know him well enough to speculate. I can only assume that it would end with some hapless individual hauled from another dimension to meet him in the least flattering possible circumstances."
in-like-a
"Yeah, that sounds like Morty. Poor guy." She hums thoughtfully. "Maybe I should try setting him up with somebody? It's been a while since I had a proper caper... Kathy might be okay with it. She's got her birds, but woman cannot live on pets alone. Yeah, I'm making a note of this. Potential caper: get Morty laid."
in-like-a
"I'm a charitable person! Hell, I could sleep with him myself, but it'd seem condescending. Best stick with the caper."
in-like-a
"Well, first I've got to clear things with Kathy. Like, I'm pretty sure she's straight, but you gotta make sure, right? And then I set something up, like, invite them to something and get them to talk, monitor the situation and bail if he fucks up massively, maybe get some of her friends to encourage her, his friends same - does he have friends? Gotta check that - and generally see if they hit it off, nurture the seed, help them along. It's not quintessentially a caper, but it's close enough to scratch the itch."
in-like-a
"It's fun!" Ariel giggles. "Getting up to something or other, helping people indirectly, sneaking around humming the Mission Impossible theme... I mean, we're in high school, right? Why not?"
point_b
"What other manners of caper have you capered? ...Also, am I interrupting your window for post-match sex with Callum."
in-like-a
"Nah, usually happens at earliest convenience, and I think he does Bible study or something nowish. And my capers are numerous! Lots of bust theft, setting folks up, spying on someone or other... There was the time I made Tessa think she was being followed by demons?"
point_b
"...Which is a thing that could actually happen and would be legitimately frightening, I am led to understand."
in-like-a
"Yeah, she deserved it. That was more vengeance than a caper, really. She made some really nasty comments about Sky. It was only for like a day or so."
in-like-a
"Like, she was involved in Vera's plot to kidnap Sally that one time, she inflicts really awful curses on people for spite, and we suspect but have no way to confirm that she killed her dad. Although, to be fair, I did kill my mom, but she was a supervillain, so it's a different situation. None of it holds up in a court of law, but, like... non-prosecutable evil is still evil."
She sighs. "Oh yeah, and Vera's evil too, for similar but worse reasons. Those guys are just. The worst."
She sighs. "Oh yeah, and Vera's evil too, for similar but worse reasons. Those guys are just. The worst."
point_b
"I see. Revenge per se is not my style but I share your occasional frustration with the limitations of the legal system."
in-like-a
"Good to hear. There's folks who just won't let it go, and... I mean, I get it, but sometimes you've just gotta do something. If that just means making their life a little less pleasant, then I can take that. And the really mean shit is reserved for her and Vera and folks of a similar caliber. Decent folks get, like, anonymous subscriptions to Goat Fancy magazine. Because that's goddamn hilarious."
in-like-a
"Dunno, let me check." She pulls out her phone. "Last time I pulled that trick it was some birding magazine for Arthit - sorry, that's Wings Guy. It turns out he actually likes birds, though... No, no Goat Fancy, but there are goat appreciation magazines."