lifes_sake
Okay. This is not an intelligent muffin, apparently, it's just a muffin that has a voice interface. Maybe he'll eat it after all.
"I'm gonna bite you," he tells it, in case this prompts some sort of more sophisticated or emotional response.
"I'm gonna bite you," he tells it, in case this prompts some sort of more sophisticated or emotional response.
lifes_sake
He nibbles delicately on the edge of the muffin top, and listens.
lifes_sake
Okay then. Om nom nom. He's still going to have to talk to a goat; he'll tell Renée that he's experimenting with vegetarianism. She'll probably even experiment with vegetarianism too if he does. He's fourteen and no one will give him a hard time if it turns out not to last long should it be the case that the goats can do nothing beyond identify themselves as goats.
He very deliberately eats through their supply of goat cheese over the course of the next experimenting-with-vegetarianism day, then suggests a visit to Lori. Renée calls Lori, Lori's free, off they go.
Cam wanders into the backyard where the goats hang out during the day. There are three of them, and they have names - Millie and Betsy and Vivian - but he's not sure if they know that they have names, so he walks up to Vivian and says, "Hi, goat."
He very deliberately eats through their supply of goat cheese over the course of the next experimenting-with-vegetarianism day, then suggests a visit to Lori. Renée calls Lori, Lori's free, off they go.
Cam wanders into the backyard where the goats hang out during the day. There are three of them, and they have names - Millie and Betsy and Vivian - but he's not sure if they know that they have names, so he walks up to Vivian and says, "Hi, goat."
lifes_sake
"Not on me, sorry. How smart are you?" he asks. Because the answer is "smarter than a muffin" but there are probably *literally* rocks smarter than that muffin.
lifes_sake
"Is Lori not feeding you enough?" asks Cam, moving his arm out of the way and stepping back.
lifes_sake
"You can't have it, it's my sleeve," Cam says. "It doesn't belong to you. How would you like it if somebody ate you?"
Because that is the question, isn't it?
Because that is the question, isn't it?
lifes_sake
Okay, this goat is not smart. But it's capable of not wanting to be eaten.
"How about your milk, do you care if people take that away?"
"How about your milk, do you care if people take that away?"
lifes_sake
Okay. Goat, at least well-treated mostly-a-pet goat, does not object to being milked, may or may not suffer existential dread but doesn't want to be eaten, and is well and thoroughly obsessed with food.
He goes into the house and gets a treat for Vivian, and ones for the others too so he doesn't get mobbed on his way back out of the yard.
He goes into the house and gets a treat for Vivian, and ones for the others too so he doesn't get mobbed on his way back out of the yard.
lifes_sake
Babies don't exhibit sophisticated cognition either, yet Cam would not eat one!
He goes right on "experimenting with vegetarianism".
Later, he addresses the tree in his backyard, on the theory that it will be evidence about other plants the way goats were evidence about other animals. "Hi, tree."
He goes right on "experimenting with vegetarianism".
Later, he addresses the tree in his backyard, on the theory that it will be evidence about other plants the way goats were evidence about other animals. "Hi, tree."
lifes_sake
"How smart are plants?" he asks. "I'm concerned about my dietary habits."
(Nothing he's talked to so far has reacted badly to being talked to like it was smarter than it was, so he may as well start there.)
(Nothing he's talked to so far has reacted badly to being talked to like it was smarter than it was, so he may as well start there.)
lifes_sake
"Okay, so you're either smarter than a goat or my meter's off, and I've already decided the conversation I had with a goat sufficed to make me a vegetarian, can you give me a scale here? Dandelion goat oak tree...?"