"I'm still not totally convinced you're a Bell and not a coincidence," says Juliet, shrinking her aura down to a low hum of hazardousness. "But if you are, yeah, you can help yourself to everything on that list except 'Slayer' and you'll want to regender 'empress' and you might want to wear Jane someplace other than a necklace and of course whether you want to date the vampire is between you and him."

"Is there, like, a checklist?" Cam asks.

"Clumsy, except while flying if applicable? Tendency to wear default outfits instead of fussing about it? Notebooks for introspection, self-analysis, and brain-hacking? Self-centeredly altruistic? Aspire to useful luxury? If applicable, huge magic geek? Anti-death as a matter of general policy and most particularly in your own case? Parents named Renée and Charlie or variants and reasonably likely to be divorced and depending on how old you are Renée might've remarried? More likely than not grew up in Forks, Washington? Generalized terror of mental spying and editing and, if available in your magic system, natively resistant to same? Like old literature? Think crowns are a great fashion accessory that goes with everything? Unabashedly seek phenomenal cosmic power and control of the universe because it's not being done adequately?"

"...It's like you know eight of me," says Cam after a silence.

"Noted," says Cam. "For future reference when I have my bearings. Damn, that's a list."

"There's one more thing. Go up to the bar and see if she gives you a key," says Juliet.

"She? Okay." Cam is less fazed than some Bells by the notion of a sentient bar-lady. He goes up to her and addresses her conversationally in the Speech. "Hi, bar."

"Thanks!" says Cam, taking and pocketing the key. "So you can tell I'm a Bell, I guess? How do you manage that?"

"Recognizing people is all in a day's work," Bar says serenely. "Won't you have a drink while you're here? I serve everything."

"Huh. Sure, I'll take a smoothie, let's call it banana peach, unless it's particularly pricey."

"...So, you talk to stuff, and it talks to you, huh?"

"Yup. In the Speech. Anyone can learn the language but you have to do some rigmarole prior to or at the latest during puberty to actually get anything to do anything beyond talk back."

"What pray tell are the other options?"

"Basically, I can tell stuff to do stuff, and it'll listen to me," says Cam. "I try not to be pushy with anything smart, and there's some stuff it's not wise to do, like screwing with the weather, but I can fix broken things or ask stuff about what's been going on around it. Mostly I convince seeds to genetically alter themselves so I can distribute them places that could use improved crops. Matilda's mom helps with all the stuff that needs legal majority, but the company's mine, Seedling Enterprises. I do seeds because nothing I've figured out in pharmaceuticals or whatever scales well, but I can make the fancy rice and potatoes breed true once I've talked them into changing to begin with."

"I wonder if I can just wish myself a wizard in this sense of the word," muses Juliet. "Any reason not to try it, Cam?"

"Uh, I dunno if wishing would interrupt the process or not, but new wizards have this habitual problem where The Lone Power - I call it Iggy, that's how it introduced itself to me when it was pretending to be a rock - tries to kill them. So there's that. But you're pretty thoroughly magicked up, so maybe it couldn't make any headway."

"I already died," says Juliet carelessly. "If it happens again I don't even have to make the round trip through Downside anymore, I just reset where I am."

"It's very convenient," Sherlock says brightly.

"Tell me of this 'Downside'," says Cam.

"It's an afterlife common to a number of worlds, and - sometimes new ones can be hooked up, but I can't add yours. Amariah has the same problem; the Downside admin says her world has a competing afterlife. I can make you able to torch - that's the reset - which I recommend unless you know and are fond of whatever you have at home instead."

"I haven't a clue but I wouldn't bet on it being Disneyhades. Set me up."