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Here is a house.
It is pretty and trim and green-and-cream and really ought not to be able to hold itself up like that, and yet here it is, somehow defying the laws of architecture. It is surrounded by a neatly bordered garden of ornamental and useful plants of all sorts: here vegetables, there herbs, there spell components, there rows of flowers.
There is a sign out front. It says only: Magic. Not, Beware, Magic or Magic Emporium or anything like that. Just: Magic.
Sitting on top of this sign is a cream cat with smoke-dark points of color on each paw, his ears, and his face and tail.
All in all, you could be forgiven for thinking that a witch lives here.
thaumobabble
calendarofcrime
"Let us say that if I were to look into the Pool of Heart's Desire, I do not think I would see a suitable husband looking back at me."
thaumobabble
"You know, I do actually know where that one is. The window I mentioned showed me someone who needed to find it, last year. What do you think you'd see?"
thaumobabble
Notwitch giggles. "I had a look in the pool once. It's pretty useless to me. I already know what things I want, and it doesn't dispense advice on getting them."
thaumobabble
"Well," says Notwitch. "It doesn't give you a complete rundown of everything you want - just the most indispensable heartfelt desire. Which is another reason it's not that practically useful. But since you're curious - I got a picture of me sitting in my study, with Cricket on my lap and a book in my hands - and the calendar displaying a date some nine thousand years in the future."
thaumobabble
"Well, I'd miss him," says the not-a-witch. Cricket leaps to the table in front of her, purring. "Yes, I would, I'd miss you," she tells her cat. "I told you this when I got back from the pool then, don't you remember, silly creature."
"Mrrrow!"
"I love you too, Cricket."
"Mrrrow!"
"I love you too, Cricket."
thaumobabble
"Mew," says Cricket to Tony.
"Be polite," says notwitch to Cricket. "Yes, I know she can't understand you, that doesn't make it less rude."
"Be polite," says notwitch to Cricket. "Yes, I know she can't understand you, that doesn't make it less rude."
thaumobabble
"He says you only think it's cute that I'd miss him if he died because you don't have a sufficient conception of nonhuman personhood. It wasn't phrased quite that gently, though."
thaumobabble
"Mew."
"He apologizes. Resentfully."
"Mrrow meow meow."
"He thinks you wouldn't think it was cute for me to tell him that I love him too if he were not a cat."
"He apologizes. Resentfully."
"Mrrow meow meow."
"He thinks you wouldn't think it was cute for me to tell him that I love him too if he were not a cat."
allthebrightest
"One, he's wrong. Again. Two, cute things are cuter when there is more fluffiness involved, I have graphs."
She grins.
"But apology accepted anyway."
She grins.
"But apology accepted anyway."
thaumobabble
Cricket begins licking his paw, affecting unconcern.
"It's just as well no one has ever figured out how to persistently make their cats understood to other people," sighs not-a-witch.
"It's just as well no one has ever figured out how to persistently make their cats understood to other people," sighs not-a-witch.
calendarofcrime
"She is completely serious about the graphs," Sherlock puts in. "We did research when we were six."
