He sighs. "For the record, erm, if it bothers you, it's kinda super attractive when you order me."

"...really?"

"Yyyyyeah. I mean, you know how I feel about the whole business in general, but—when it's you it's, erm, okay?"

"So, you can probably guess that fairy relationships are inevitably kind of fucked up and I don't have, like, a model, of what it would look like for one to be not fucked up."

"Oh. Well, the, er, being ordered thing is usually not a part of it, I'm weird, but there are healthy relationship models that involve it. The general mold is, like... talking about stuff like each other's interests or whatever happened that day or the news or stuff like that, and doing activities together, and hanging out, and recommending books, and going on dates, and holding hands, and other kinds of physical and emotional affection, and exchanging gifts, and sometimes just silently enjoying each other's company... That kinda stuff."

"I am presently unfit to - do physical affection."

"Yeah, I know. You shouldn't, like, worry about it, or rush anything, your mental health is the most important thing, take your time at it, I don't—er, I guess what I'm saying here is that my having a crush on you is my problem and doesn't come with any expectations nor should it be, like, weird or anything, it's been there for the past few months and it's alright."

"How do mortals have relationship models that involve orders?"

"Well, not magically enforced orders, but for instance some relationships are modelled around power imbalances with one person being dominant and the other submissive and sometimes that's only in, erm, intimate moments, but sometimes they extend to the other parts of their life, and it's not unheard of for the dominant to boss the submissive around and stuff. And it's all consensual of course, at least the healthy ones, and that's not the only way to incorporate it into a relationship, just the most salient example, there's a whole host of ways to do it which can be tweaked to the satisfaction of all parties involved."

Blink. "...that is what the least upsetting fairy romance stories wind up looking like," she comments.

"Yeah, like, the important part is consent and... awareness? If everyone involved genuinely enjoys being in that position and all grievances are aired and people communicate and care about each other and stuff... I won't say that guarantees a healthy relationship but it's a very good first step."

"...well, all my various issues are around being the vassal, not the master."

"My issue with the whole thing is and has always been the lack of consent. I personally don't—mind being either, with or without magically enforced orders, it'd actually be fun to have it as part of a relationship I think, as long as everyone knows what they're doing, enthusiastic consent, all that jazz. I'm definitely not going to pressure you into anything. ...except perhaps into saying things out loud when you think of them, I think I'd rather not try to interpret nonverbal cues for the time being."

"You may not attempt to oblige me to tell you what I'm thinking."

He blinks. "No, no, that's not what I meant, sorry, bad phrasing. I just meant I will try to avoid interpreting nonverbal cues and stuff, the 'pressure' there wasn't literal."

"...okay."

"Sorry. Yeah, that's exactly the thing, the only type of pressuring you I will be doing will be the figurative pressuring caused by my trying to avoid... any... pressuring? Because that'll create incentives for certain things as opposed to others and... yeah. Erm. Sorry."

"It's all right," she sighs.

He shrugs. "So now you know, I guess."

"Yep. I'll - think about it."

"Okay." Pause. "Also it might be relevant that, I'm not sure if you picked up on it but, I'm sometimes a girl? And... anatomically that's not very relevant at the moment but eventually I'll try to figure out how to, like, change with sorcery, if it's at all possible. So, erm. That's a thing."

"...I'm reasonably confident I'm not attracted to girls."

"For what it's worth, on my end that's not a dealbreaker."

"Why not?"

"Well, 'cause... I mean, why would it be? I'm comfortably bisexual, but, like... I mean it'd be a dealbreaker if your brand of straight was the kind that couldn't bear the thought of being with someone who's sometimes a girl but otherwise it seems like that only limits the times when we can be physically affectionate and that's not even on the table for the next while anyway. I have been making an effort not to touch you even accidentally, I noticed you try to avoid it."