Iobel and not!Elves
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"I talk in my sleep," she says. "If we ever want an excuse for not co-rooming."

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"Oooh! Good to know."

The guest room is color-coded pastel green, and very pretty. No one's looking so he gives her a goodnight hug.

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Hug!

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Gosh, he'd be so good at courting Iobel if it were possible. He'd be the best at it. He shakes his head and walks back to bed.

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"G'night."

She falls asleep and mumbles to herself among pastel green decor.

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And a few days later they get married. There are a thousand guests. The decorations are extravagant. The people are back to do Iobel's hair and makeup and outfit.

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She will be very pliable for them and look utterly stunning.

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She does look utterly stunning! Half the room falls in love the minute they catch sight of her. Mitros thinks amusedly that people will think he chose for looks. The wedding vows are outdated and misogynistic. "I do so swear," he says anyway.

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"I so swear," she says likewise.

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And he kisses his wife. Finkanar, in the second row, looks very patiently happy for them and not at all like he wants to burst into giggles.

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Cricket looks like he wants to torture a rodent to death over this travesty, but this is pretty normal for Cricket and nobody cares. He has been coached not to yell or hiss, at least.

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After the ceremony there is a reception which the bride and groom are not particularly expected to attend. 

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Catching up on their reading it is.

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They have a lot to catch up on. It's a pleasant evening and nice to have the next day off. 

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Without a hangover, even!

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Look at them, ignoring the varieties of alcohol placed out next to the bed. "I am actually vaguely uncomfortable with that," Mitros says at one point, frowning at it. "If people are sufficiently nervous that that seems like a good idea they should probably just wait..."

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"Maybe if they think they'll be nervous the first time and fine after that?"

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"Probably. I think you'd like this chapter of A Common Symbology but you can skim the first three as mostly a waste of space and it's not making me optimistic about the rest of them."

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"I'll keep that in mind, although I always feel a little weird about skipping parts of books."

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"Nistar's like that. When he was a kid he wouldn't put them down, either, even if he wasn't getting anything out of them, then someone told him about the sunk cost fallacy and he snapped right out of the habit."

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"Yeah, I'll put them down, but skipping the first chapters..."

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"What kind of monster have you married?" He's grinning. "Hard to say if the fourth makes the first three worth it. I'll read the rest and let you know."

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"The kind of monster who reviews books for me, apparently."

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"I try."

 

And a while later, "so my ex-boyfriend gave me permission to try to win him back if my future wife was all right with that. I would very much like to; he's very pretty. He is usually the person I go to for 'how do I repair this relationship I damaged' but under the circumstances probably no."

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"...I mean, it would be hilarious if you asked him that and he answered you, but, probably no. Is his prettiness really the operative characteristic here, did I get the better end of the deal on things that cause you to be interested in people?"

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