"I expect so. Vampirism being transmissible I haven't put as much effort into it as some things."

"Vampires are supposedly under the control of the one who turned them, though I expect you'll deny that that applies to you. At any rate, it's insufficiently immortal for my purposes. What have you been putting your effort into?"

"I do indeed deny that applies to me. I spend most of my effort on theoretical undertakings, I spend much of my energy on defense, analysis and proactive security measures I decline to detail to anyone I trust less than my sister."

"Of course. If I had an assortment of personal defenses I probably wouldn't even mention that they exist." She plops down onto a library chair. "So, do you care to share any of your theoretical insights?"

"The fact that I have defenses can probably be inferred from the fact that I'm not dead by now," he says. "I suppose you wouldn't know that I'm nearly nine hundred years old, but it's not uncommon knowledge in magician circles." He totally has theoretical insights! How much sense they make when she's never performed a ritual is debatable.

"What about you makes you especially likely to die violently, is it the vampirism or the magic or something else? And, um, maybe some more basic theory first would help, remember that I have not only never done this but also not even heard of it before tonight."

"Yes, it's the vampirism. And the lack of tact, I am not a very tactful person. My sister describes me as an 'obstinate misanthrope.' Does your translation spell work on books?"

"This is one of the reasons I am looking into non-undeath forms of immortality, having lots of people wanting me dead and terrified I will eat their children sounds inconvenient. This is also why I don't usually mention that lichdom is my backup plan. The spell I prepare every day does understanding and producing speech, I have one that does understanding speech and writing but that would have to wait until after I've slept."

"Alright, then I'll start from the beginning--" and he describes some basic theory, including a very simple ritual that's recommended to start with.

Well as long as that seems safe to do around someone who may or may not be thinking of you as a midnight snack - wait - 

"It occurs to me that if you do in fact have a supply of stored blood around here being able to see that would be pretty convincing evidence that you did not just make that up and have another source and are less likely to try to eat me the first chance you get."

"That seems logical," he says, standing up from his chair and heading for a different door than the one they entered the library through.

She follows.

There are hallways, which he takes miscellaneous turns down before coming to a kitcheny thing, if a kitchen lacked most of the things that make it a kitchen like a stove and spices and ingredients and so on. But it contains a sink, and a dishwasher, and some cupboards, and a large refrigerator, the latter of which he opens and retrieves a plastic bag filled with blood. He opens a cupboard, takes out a tall glass, rips open a corner of the bag and pours in the blood, and then drains the glass.

"Wow, what is - what are all of these?"

"--Which? That's a refrigerator, it keeps food cold. That's a dishwasher, it washes dishes."

"...That seems like a rather elaborate contraption for washing dishes but I guess your magic is different than mine. I'm assuming the thing above the basin is for water but it doesn't seem to have a pump, is it magical? Also whatever cloth that bag is made out of, we don't have that."

"None of this is magic."

"...How do you have a cold-generating box without magic? How do you have a - a - pumpless pump without magic? ... Wait, are the lights nonmagical? Is this entire house nonmagical? I think I would like some more explanations. Your servant never did get around to telling me what a phone was."

"She's not my servant, she's one of my blood donors. The house is heavily warded, but nothing you'll have seen so far is magical, including the lights. A phone is a device that lets you speak to someone far away who also has a phone."

"I am not sure how you have all of this stuff work without magic but it's pretty great. Anyways, now that I'm not worried you'll eat me if I look away for a second, I'd like to try that beginning ritual, is this a good place for it?"

"It is adequate."

Then she will do the ritual!

It takes about an hour and she has a little bobbing light at the end of it.

"Wow. That took a while. How fast would it have been for you?"

"Savk."

Small bobbing light.