Alli cracks up. Once she recovers, she asks, "So are you a spy too? Or do you just hang out with them and en-bean their rooms?"

"I'm sensing a theme here," Alli remarks with a grin. "Long story optional, but like. He wasn't spying because you are a morally bankrupt genocidal maniac or anything, right?"

"I wouldn't describe myself that way. If you must know, I'm a clone created for a substitution plot against the son of a prominent political figure on the planet Barrayar. Barrayaran Imperial Security likes to keep tabs on me in case I decide to come round and confuse them all with my stunningly accurate Miles impression - Miles being the target of the plot. Miles himself took one look at me and declared me his brother; I quite like him and have no intention of stealing his identity."

"I do not must know! I said so and everything! But it's interesting anyway," Alli laughs. "And your- brother? Clone relationships, not a thing here, I will totally believe you- probably appreciates that you do not want to steal his life, so, there's that going for you?"

"He definitely does appreciate it. He also likes my sense of humour, which is an attitude I treasure for its rarity."

"Awwwww. I don't have a brother, but I have a big sister," Alli says. "We get along okay? She's the one who left me those books, so points to her for that at least."

"Sounds nice."

"...Sorry," Alli says awkwardly, noticing the face. "I know he's really far away. I'll keep a lookout for transport spells? You probably miss him." She pauses. "I also appreciate your sense of humor, if it helps," she offers. "I mean... glitter!"

"That does help, thank you." His smile brightens.

"I actually considered glitter as an alternative to an apology."

"You have good instincts."

"That... is one of them, yes," he says. "Or, well, an extension of a previous one. The cult leader who invited me to be his immortal lover was a vampire, and he got as far as turning me before I killed him. I left that part out because, well, I can see where the reputation came from. I wouldn't hang out with most vampires I've met either. They all eat people, for one thing, and while I'm not much for judging someone else's moral choices I do mostly draw the line at pointless murder."

Alli manages to retrieve her water gun, but delays digging for the phone to call Bella at this bizarre statement. "But... that's how vampires work," she says blankly. "Become vampire, become asshole, kill things until killed."

"Not in this case. What is in that water gun?"

"It's not supposed to work like that!" says Alli, sounding betrayed by her knowledge of the world. "You're not supposed to miss your brother, or care about murder, or... or have a moral compass at all." She looks down at the gun. "Oh. It's holy water...?"

"Maybe I'm just special. What does holy water do to vampires?"

Alli considers a joke about knowing that he was special already, but leaves it for the moment. "Burns them, as far as I know."

"Ooh, can I see?" He reaches for the water gun but, of necessity, stops at the invisible barrier in the doorway.

Alli regards him quizzically. "You're failing Vampire 101," she finally tells him. She's not willing to give up the gun or cross the line, but she shoots the door frame; if he really wants to try it, he can reach the half of the frame on his side of the threshold.

"Couldn't that apply to other vampires, though?" Alli says doubtfully. "Oh! Maybe it's your time travel thing! Vampires are assholes 'cause they don't have souls, apparetly. Maybe yours just wasn't removable."