The Worst Kind of Surprise Party | Glowfic Constellation

what_greater_weapon

There is a man. He's meditating, and floating several inches off of the ground. This is fairly normal for him - at least he's not floating various furniture this time. Just himself. He doesn't feel like exerting himself any further. It's been a long day.

He realizes it's going to be a lot longer when he's no longer in his room.

"I hate surprises," he sighs, and he opens his eyes to look at his new surroundings. He's still floating, and surprisingly calm.

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what_greater_weapon

"Cheering thought! It's just not the same if I don't get to swear at a door for half an hour before either getting someone else or using my lightsaber. I need a measure of normality while I am exploring a new planet. It's like comfort food."

unmarred

Giggle.

what_greater_weapon

"Shit, I could have just unlocked it from the inside with the Force. Damn it."

unmarred

"But then you couldn't have sworn at it at all!"

what_greater_weapon

"Ah, true. As long as we're not in a time crunch, it's better this way."

unmarred

what_greater_weapon

"But! Vindication. I can open a door."

unmarred

"Congratulations."

what_greater_weapon

"Thank you. Maybe I can also open locked boxes now that I'm on a world that uses mechanical locks. I feel all powerful."

unmarred

"Have you been significantly inconvenienced by your inability to open locked boxes?"

what_greater_weapon

"It makes looting more difficult. I have to go fetch someone that can open them, or risk destroying whatever's inside by hitting it with a lightsaber until it's learned its lesson."

unmarred

...

He cackles.

what_greater_weapon

Revan smirks.

"Leaving the box unopened is, of course, not an option. If I'm looting something, I'm looting something properly."

unmarred

"Do a lot of looting, then, do you?"

what_greater_weapon

"Ehh. Yes? I'm not a - well, okay, I'm not typically a thief, but if I've just killed the previous owners of a place and suddenly all of their property is up for grabs..." He shrugs. "Yep. Looting the place. A man's got to eat."

unmarred