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Loki is not technically banished. This is just - giving her mother space. To think. About what to do with her wayward child. She will be called back in a few years for a more permanent decision. Midgard's nice enough, anyway, and Sigyn's coming along.
The Bifrost lights up in all its colors and -
- this might be Midgard, but it is not a part of Midgard she ever saw and not the place she was expecting to be dropped, and there is no Sigyn with her.
She holds Lævateinn ready as a glaive. Maybe her mother feared her sorcery and thought she'd best be sent somewhere deadly under the impression she was meant to survive the trip -
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purposeful_glory
purposeful_glory
"I cannot hear you at all. I had no idea anything out of the ordinary was being communicated. Although I suppose I should recontextualize some instances of your people staring at each other and then parting as something other than your superior hearing and prolonged acquaintance, in retrospect."
"Do you want me to try communicating my thoughts to you? You've, uh, generally had passive access to them ever since we put our weapons away, as a trust thing - or, rather, I thought you did - but I haven't directed anything at you specifically."
It turns out all of the memories he'd used for this, in the past, are now extremely painful ones. Racing down the docks of Alqualondë as young children. Turukáno's wedding, attended by the family who'd murdered his bride. His parents, up late laughing. The Valar, sweeping down the streets of Elven Tirion with childlike delight and their extraordinary power barely contained in Elf-like forms. And Maitimo, Maitimo, everywhere Maitimo, touching his arm or meeting his eyes or riding with him or arguing with him or setting some diplomatic disaster right with a few words and a crooked smile.
Finally he settles on something. He and Irissë are in Valimar on holiday The searing heat of the Trees is making the day almost unbearable, and they jump into a river fully clothed and then lie on the shore, drying until their clothes are no longer transparent, warm and safe and unimaginably far from here.
Finally he settles on something. He and Irissë are in Valimar on holiday The searing heat of the Trees is making the day almost unbearable, and they jump into a river fully clothed and then lie on the shore, drying until their clothes are no longer transparent, warm and safe and unimaginably far from here.
purposeful_glory
"That was peculiar," observes Loki. "The medium, not the content particularly."
"Oh, good, so you can sense it. Then I'd expect this to be possible. So what I did there is - envision there's a space in front of you and behind you. By default, when you're looking at your thoughts, you pull them out and lay them out in front of you. That's 'public' space - anyone who's looking will see them. Well, any one of us. Now, I can do more than lay it out in the public space - I can hand you a path to it, sort of, and then you'll see it even if you weren't looking specifically. I could also, instead of unravelling it in front of me, do it in the space behind me.
If the particular visual metaphor doesn't work for you, that's fine: the important part is thinking of your thoughts as possible to view in two domains, a public one and a private one. Some people imagine reaching for their thoughts with their left as opposed to their right hand; some people have a public color and a private color. There's a scroll somewhere with a hundred suggested approaches, so people can pick the one that resonates with how they think of thinking, but guess who stole it?
So - well, usually I'd say "take out a thought and put in on the table in front of you' - this being exactly what you're doing anyway, every time you think. But I assume you'd rather try this without any exercises that involve me accessing your thoughts."
If the particular visual metaphor doesn't work for you, that's fine: the important part is thinking of your thoughts as possible to view in two domains, a public one and a private one. Some people imagine reaching for their thoughts with their left as opposed to their right hand; some people have a public color and a private color. There's a scroll somewhere with a hundred suggested approaches, so people can pick the one that resonates with how they think of thinking, but guess who stole it?
So - well, usually I'd say "take out a thought and put in on the table in front of you' - this being exactly what you're doing anyway, every time you think. But I assume you'd rather try this without any exercises that involve me accessing your thoughts."
purposeful_glory
"If I'm selecting them it's less horrifying. I could see myself using this in limited circumstances if I felt I had it under control."
She has ciphers, for writing, half her notes written so Heimdall who sees everything cannot make use of them.
She imagines writing all her thoughts in cipher. The fact that she exists at all, has thoughts at all - in cipher. Plaintext reserved for special circumstances.
And in plaintext she presents - is this working?
She has ciphers, for writing, half her notes written so Heimdall who sees everything cannot make use of them.
She imagines writing all her thoughts in cipher. The fact that she exists at all, has thoughts at all - in cipher. Plaintext reserved for special circumstances.
And in plaintext she presents - is this working?
He flinches. "I just heard something from you. I stopped myself from hearing what. Did you send it deliberately?"
purposeful_glory
"I sent something deliberately. I do not know if it was the right thing or if it brought passengers."
"Hmm, all right. You can try again and I won't block you out."
"I got 'testing', plus a little bit of anxiety, plus a vague sense of - hmm, an alphabet I don't use and can't look at particularly closely, as it gets intensifyingly fuzzy? That is astonishingly good, for a first try. Is there an analogous mental skill in your world?"
purposeful_glory
"No. I'm accustomed to taking notes in cipher; I decided to try visualizing that since I already have this clear distinction between things others might read and things they must not. I'll try again and see if I can strip out the emotional content."
Text is text. She has excellent, perfect, regular handwriting betraying nothing of her clenched teeth or fluttering heart. All she is doing is writing a note -
Like so.
Text is text. She has excellent, perfect, regular handwriting betraying nothing of her clenched teeth or fluttering heart. All she is doing is writing a note -
Like so.
"'like so'. And nothing else. Eru."
"When creation is astonishing you marvel at the Valar. When people are astonishing you marvel at Eru Ilúvatar. That was...truly impressive." He shakes his head. "The next thing you'll want to do is practice defaulting to your private context when you're startled or angry."
purposeful_glory
"Well, if you normally teach this to children it may be that it's simply easier for an adult mind somehow. Do you have standard ways to startle or anger people or will I need to come up with my own suggestions?"
"We can send shocking or upsetting memories. Again, what shocks or upsets a child born to Valinor might...not work on you. Do you have suggestions?"
purposeful_glory
"Wouldn't it reduce the shock if I were suggesting something?"
"Probably. On the other hand if I draw my weapon and attack you with enough speed to genuinely be shocking, you might kill me. Nothing bad happens if we err on the not-shocking side."
purposeful_glory
"I wouldn't kill you. Dodging is faster than drawing my own weapon and I assume you wouldn't press the attack. What things do shock and upset children born to Valinor, anyway?"
"Stories of what life was like before we came there. People sometimes went to bed hungry, people sometimes died and we didn't even know Mandos existed so we didn't know if they were safe wherever they were, or if we'd ever see them again. Orcs."
"If you'd like, I can ask someone my grandfather's age to send you their memories of one. Mine would be third-hand. Alternatively, you'll see one soon enough. We're moving faster now."
purposeful_glory
"I do not wish to be caught off guard by people who can read my mind when I am under stress unexpectedly. I promise not to kill you if you take a swipe at me with your sword. I am used to sparring."