Aw.

"So are culinary pursuits barred to me forever? You just had a coffee, earlier."

"It provides me with no nutrition or positive sensory experiences, and I would have to, ah, regurgitate any solid foods I consume."

"Ah. Okay. Culinary pursuits are barred to me forever, got it. Luckily for us both, I'm not a foodie and find cooking annoying, so."

"That would be why I said I have no trouble with dishes," he explains with a wry grin.

Snort. "Yes, I suppose that follows, doesn't it. All right then."

"Feeding can be messy, especially when you're new at it, and that's why I do sometimes have trouble with my wardrobe. Although I tend to be a clean eater."

"Ah. Do you not have retractable fangs or... something? It's just. Rip a thing open and drink its fluids like a human with super strength and invulnerability?"

"My teeth feel sharper against my skin now than my human teeth used to feel against my human skin, that's a memory I managed to keep. So no, no fangs, just sharpness and strength and durability."

"That sounds very messy. I would have liked a tidy set of fangs," she sniffs.

"On behalf of vampirism, I apologize."

"I accept your apology on behalf of vampirism. However, I also feel it is incorrect to need to kill people you drink from and for all vampires to have the instinctual urge to rip every human's throat out. I am less inclined to accept vampirism's apology for that one," she says, loftily.

"I expect vampirism would not apologize for that one, either."

"Bah. And now just for that, I am motivated to figure out a way for all vampires everywhere to not eat people anymore," she sniffs. "Without making them all drink animal blood that they'd find disgusting. I can't imagine I could get them all to do that without overthrowing the vampiric government and threatening them, and I don't particularly want to rule the world."

"Please don't try to overthrow the Volturi," he says, sounding a little bit panicked.

"I... did just say that I didn't want to do that. It sounds hard to do, and harder still to pick up the pieces after, especially over a whole society of secretive killers that have been running around for hundreds of years. So I'd rather not."

"Yeah I know. Just. Really really don't."

"Okay. Are... they so strict that they police people thinking of them...?"

"No, and they don't really have an investigative arm, but..." He squirms in place.

"... But I am your squishy and vulnerable mate and you would not take losing me very well, and I'm skirting the law as it is. Ah. Yes. Sorry, James."

He nods. "I'm probably just being paranoid."

"Until my brother eventually shows up, I don't really have a good metric for judging whether you are or not when it comes to vampire society. Of the options 'paranoid' and 'careless,' I would rather the former."

"I suppose. Your brother is newer, though."

"Yes, and also a bit cocky. But I understand how he thinks, and can disentangle a lot of his assertions to see what made him think something."

He nods. "And I'm... somewhat biased when it comes to you."

"Somewhat," she agrees, wryly.