"Thank you, ma'am."

Time passes!

Serena Joy is tough, but fair and patient, and she never asks Keturah to do something she wouldn't do. If Keturah is competent at something, she backs off; if Keturah is unskilled, she shows Keturah again and again. Keturah's days consist of prayer, tutoring refugees, cleaning, cooking, and studying theology and Greek. 

The time for the Ceremony approaches. 

Every time he sees her, Nick stares at her emotionlessly.

Fred occasionally wins at Narnia Stratego!

Keturah reads more of the minor prophets and tries to be the sort of person she can be proud of. She's not entirely sure how to do this. If the only thing she has to do is endure, just keep existing, then she can do that, sure. If she has to avoid condoning sin no matter what, then -

If she refuses to participate in the ceremony, they'll take her to prison and impregnate her there. Nothing will have been accomplished. But if you're trying to be your best self, then you can't go along with the demands of evil, even when you don't have the strength to stop evil from hurting you for it.

She doesn't want to go to prison. She doesn't want to go to hell. She doesn't want to have to face her creator and tell Him that she knew what the right thing to do was, and she gave up on doing it because it sounded scary and she liked having the chance to study Greek. But it is scary, and she spends the days leading up to the ceremony having frequent crying fits and making herself sick with fear.

"You look sad."

She stops listlessly hand-washing dishes in the sink.

"...I don't think I can do this."

"Everyone is scared, their first Ceremony. It's okay. You can get through it."

Better take a deep breath and get this over with.

"No, I mean - I mean - I mean I think that surrogacy is wrong, and that forcing people into surrogacy is even more wrong, and that - that bowing to pressure to willingly defy God, even at peril of one's freedom, even at peril of one's life, is - there is a reason the early Church was so inspired by the stories of young women who refused to deny their faith and bear the children of Roman officials, even when it cost them their lives. And I just - maybe I've gotten it all mixed up and I'm inventing reasons why I shouldn't have to do any of this, but - I'm afraid of the ceremony, yes, and I'm more afraid of prison. But I'm even more afraid of being complicit in sin."

Good! Good. Now she just has to wait for the internal screaming to stop.

"Have you been doing your Bible study to help you understand why surrogacy is God's plan for us?"

"Oh yeah! Totally. I just think you're - uh - wrong."

"I do believe that surrogacy is God's plan for fertile and unmarried women, but I don't want to force you to do something that goes against the stirrings of your conscience... I can't imagine that would be helpful to your rehabilitation."

That sounds better than immediately getting sent to prison and having to do it anyway!

"Oh. So. Uh. Then what?"

"I'll ask Serena to delay the Ceremony a few months, so you have more time to listen to what God is calling you in your heart to do."

"Thank you," she says, because hey, a few more months to put off going to prison. A very upset Serena Joy is plausibly as bad as prison, but she doesn't have the authority to force her to have children without her husband's approval, probably, so that's cool. "And - if in a few months I still think he's calling me towards something you think is wrong?"

"Do you believe you are called to celibacy or to children within marriage?"

"Probably the second one. Under the circumstances."

"Perhaps we can introduce you to some likely young men."

Oh, man, this is gonna be a thing -

- but if she's married that's fine, right, they're going to make her have children either way, and at least this way she won't be doing anything wrong, right? 

"OK. I'm.... sorry about not being able to solve your problem."

"You'll have to work hard on becoming rehabilitated fast."

That gets at least a little smile. "I'll do my best to figure out the truth, then."

"Keturah?"

"Yes?"

"I promise you we will work this out somehow and I will not force you to do something that's against God's will for your life."

"Thank you, sir. That's... really good to know."