"Not officially. Unofficially, you know about enough skips already that you're already an enormous security risk, learning about a few more doesn't change that."

"Oh, well then. Can I also tell you my idea about the mulched chair while we're at it?"

"Sure."

"I want to get a hollow chair mold - maybe cheap lawn furniture - something easily destructible - somewhat bigger than the original volume of the chair, and pour liquid resin into it, and see if the mulch teleports in there chair-shaped and waits for the resin to set."

He nods.

"That could work," he says, "But the advantage of mulch is that it doesn't move. If the chair returned to being a chair, we have no idea if it would limit itself to Foundation facilities or if it would remain away from other skips that may potentially contaminate it."

"It moves if people scare it," she says.

"But people have to come near it to be threatening. When it was a chair, it moved to anyone who needed to sit down with any limit that we know of. Right now, we just have to keep threatening people away from a small garden."

"I mean, it also seems harder for an intact chair to fit into somebody's lungs. It doesn't actually intersect objects, right?"

"No, but it doesn't actively seek out people to hurt. As long as no one bothers it, it's not a threat. But, if it's teleporting around to people who have the urge to sit down, it is significantly more likely to encounter people who read as threatening. We don't know how it would react to that. It may find a way to hurt them we couldn't anticipate. It may leave the Foundation entirely."

"Well, I'd be inclined to do it anyway - I have a suspicion that the Foundation tends not to try things that aren't strictly necessary for appeasement or very, very cheap - not necessarily monetarily, but in risk and trust and so on - and that means you don't know how it works. Certainly I would be very upset if it attacks a postal worker should it be returned to its prior mission with its new trauma history."

"This proposal is not cheap in terms of risk. It would be extremely risky, for very little obvious benefit even if it goes perfectly. In the ideal circumstance, it returns to being a chair and remains in the Foundation facility it is currently in, does not attack any Foundation employees even if they accidentally startle or distress it, and does not go into the containment for any other skips. I suppose we could remove any critical work from that facility, so that it does not risk causing a problem if it startles someone at an inopportune moment. It would likely lower the quality of life for all Foundation employees in that facility, which is not a minor concern as morale is very difficult to keep up. The suicide rate amount Foundation employees is very high. But I suppose the employees in that facility could be replaced with ones who have high morale for other reasons or would not be bothered by the teleporting skip. But, even in that ideal circumstance, what have we gained? A potential increase in happiness for a skip? But we don't know that would increase its happiness. It seems to need to serve a purpose. It can serve a purpose as mulch without encountering any humans, who we know scare it. If it returned to being a chair, it may have to encounter humans and be significantly more distressed than it is now."

"If it doesn't want to be a chair, it doesn't have to teleport into the chair mold."

"That assumes it can predict its own reaction to trauma, something humans often fail at."

"Oh well."

"It's a good thought. We just have very little leeway for large risks and few ways to fix it if things go wrong. I do agree with the... intent you are expressing."

"Maybe I'll come up with safer ones when introduced to more SCPs."

He nods.

"I won't be able to come talk to you in person again until this is resolved but I can arrange for you to get information if you decide you want to take the risk."

"I think this is important enough that it needs me on it."

"Anti-memetic or memetic?"

"Am I allowed to do both?"

He nods.

"Once you're studying anti-memetic material, looking at memetic material doesn't change the magnitude of the risk."

"Both, then. I don't know how much content there is in anti-memetics, since... nobody can tell me."

"We don't know either. Unfortunately, right now you'll only have access to what we know we have, but I suspect that once we can give you full access you'll find a lot more. Do you already know the SCP classification system?"

"No."

"There are three levels, Keter, Euclid, and safe. Safe skips are the ones that can be safely and straightforwardly contained. They can still pose a threat, but only if someone chooses to interact with them. They will not escape containment on their own. Euclid skips require more resources to contain and their containment isn't always reliable. The majority of skips are Euclid. Keter class skips are anomalies it is exceedingly difficult to contain and the foundation often simply can't contain them at all. Though the classifications aren't directly related to danger level, they strongly correlate. There are significant number of Keter class scps whose existence threatens humanity as a whole. Ideally, you would limit yourself to working with safe or Euclid skips, especially while not having the official backing or protection of the Foundation. Practically, the ones you're most likely to make notable progress on are the ones we haven't yet figured out how to contain."