Yvette sells her soul for a cup of coffee
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I knew it! I shall not fall to your schemes, sir!

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We'll see about that.

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The next message takes a little while, and there's a long pause of [Yvette is typing...] before:

Your nefarious plots have no end, I see. Well, if you really must see me, we could go on a date.

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There's a pause on his end, too.

 

I don't normally date customers, but you *are* very cute.

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You're also very cute!! It's also fine if you'd rather not? I was trying not to put you on the spot while you were at work, but I have trouble finding people that banter with me so well. And you're cute. As mentioned.

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The banter is admittedly excellent. All right, let's go on a date. Where to?

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I'm partial to looking at pretty things and dates where one can actually talk. So, no movies, please. Otherwise, idk.

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Or maybe only movies that are very bad?

And a couple of seconds later, What are your thoughts on botanical gardens?

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That they're pretty and good for walking around in! Also good for a college budget!

Bad movies make good dates, but only in private? I hate being rude to other people there to watch the movie.

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That's fair. Botanical garden it is, then.

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Sounds good. I don't have class on Wednesdays and all the weekend, if you are free from coffee scheming then.

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The scheming never ends, but I'm off work Saturday.

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Okay. We could be weird and go in the morning to beat the crowds?

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I love being weird!

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That's the spirit! Meet at 10AM at the entrance, then?

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Sounds good!

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Okay! See you then.

In between then and Saturday, though: she sends him a picture of her shiny new coffee maker, along with the message, Behold, the end to your schemes! Look upon modern machinery and despair!

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Oh no! Whatever shall I do?

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Despair, silly! Didn't you read my instructions?

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Do I strike you as the sort of person who follows instructions?

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Fair point. Then I suppose I shall leave you to sort it out yourself. React how you like! The future is in your hands!

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That's exactly where I like the future to be!

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Reasonable. It would kind of suck to have your life and opinions dictated to you by some chick you met in a coffee shop.

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Wouldn't it just.

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Also: no seriously where would I find the time to micromanage someone else.

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