"This is a TERRIBLE SYSTEM! I guess I'm just going to have to teach you all of high school math! In the next three months! So you don't flunk!"

"I could try to talk to the scheduling people — I got them to let me count the civil service exam as a social studies class, I'm sure I could get them to give you a level change." 

"But then he's going to be behind! Even though he's really good at math! Because we decided to feed people garbage and leave SERIAL KILLERS in charge of their MATH EDUCATION!"

Kaleva seems to find every aspect of this situation personally offensive. 

"I'm pretty sure none of the people who taught me math were serial killers, for whatever it's worth."

He can't say he's ever been angry about that in particular, but having someone who isn't from the Isle get angry about it is…nice. For some reason he hadn't expected that. 

(And having Chen offer him a favor already is definitely a good sign. Even though they're still doing math. Seriously, what is going on and when is he going to be ordered under the table.) 

"Well, serial killers or not, they were awful at it! --Chen can get you dropped into Algebra I, but that would make it really hard to get into college, and I bet I can teach you everything you need to know by the time you have to take the final exam. Because, unlike Chen, I have no friends and no hobbies and no life."

"You have friends," Chen says, like it's a conversation they've had before. 

"…wow. College. That's an option, huh." 

Turning down a favor could be interpreted as "I won't use too many of your resources" or it could mean "I don't need your help," but he'll be accepting a favor either way, hopefully Chen won't take offense. 

"I learn fast, I'm sure we can manage," he says to Kaleva. 

"I have friend. Singular. And occasional people who put up with me because they like hanging out with you." He turns to Sasha. "Great! What other homework do you have?"

Seriously, what the fuck. 

Maybe they want to get homework done while they scope him out and then he's going to be ordered to his knees? Maybe there's an different kind of subtext that they use in Auradon and that he's not picking up on? Maybe they're fucking with him to see how he'll react? 

"Safety Rules For The Internet and Remedial Goodness, but neither of those are due tomorrow and it's busywork anyway." He hates those names. "Some writing I'm done with for Lit, and a question set for V&V." 

"You have classes in what?!"

"I know. I'm pretty sure they're designed to be as insulting as possible, you can't write curricula like that in good faith — or, I guess someone probably could, but assuming good faith without evidence has not historically been a good assumption." 

"I…don't think I can get them to let you out of that." 

"How do you have an entire class in Safety Rules for the Internet? There's like two rules! Use a password manager and don't click on phishing emails! --Can I see what's even in the Remedial Goodness curriculum?"

"They spend a lot of time talking about the dangers of interacting with strangers in chatrooms. I mostly tune it out, I don't know why they're expecting us of all people to be dangerously trusting of strangers who haven't made a damn good show of being trustworthy first." 

He digs a worksheet out of his bag and hands it to Kavela. 

"Hey, Chen, did you know you're not supposed to lure people into an amusement park so you can turn them into donkeys? Because apparently Fairy Godmother thinks Sasha doesn't know that!"

"What in the —  who writes these questions, a group of ten year olds with a Mad Libs book?"

"Like I said. As insulting as possible." 

Over the course of the next hour, between "Sasha has a patchy education" and "Sasha is not in academic classes because Fairy Godmother put him in Safety Rules for the Internet instead", Kaleva winds up volunteering to tutor Sasha in literally every subject. 

He also has no ability to control his body language whatsoever, so it's pretty easy to figure out that he is attracted to Sasha and really, incredibly, hopelessly in love with Chen. 

Kavela's cute. 

Chen's giving basically no signs that he's noticed. Which.....might explain how at the end of an hour they're still talking about classes? He's pretty sure that he's part of the gang by this point, he's been offered too many favors not to be, but given that he has done neither any sex nor any crimes for them it's a little hard to believe it's that easy. 

Dinnertime!

On the way to dinner, Kaleva keeps grinning at Sasha like he's the most amazing person in the world. 

How do you survive with emotions that obvious.

Chen usually sits with his teammates at meals but making sure the new villain kid is alright takes precedence. They'll understand. 

"You know there's usually snacks left out, they're supposed to be for the sports kids but anyone can grab one, they don't care," he says offhandedly to Sasha when he notices him taking ridiculous amounts of anything that can be tucked away in a bookbag for later. 

"I didn't, but thank you!" 

He doesn't stop, of course. 

Judging by Kaleva's facial expression, he seems to view sitting with the new villain kid as being something equivalent to rescuing six puppies from a burning building. 

Kaleva reads while he eats, but he's constantly sneaking glances at Chen and Sasha over his book.