call me maybe [Connecticut Yankee] | Glowfic Constellation

from_scratch

"What atypical bloodless way were you thinking of?"

connecticut_yankee

"Eventually? Everyone gives up on trying to attack the country that has guns, I talk the Britons into not attacking them, and we export things until they decide our way works better than feudalism.
If we publicize that anyone at our border who doesn't want to owe fealty to a king can join the republic, a notable minority might take us up on it. It snowballs from there, of course."

from_scratch

"There's some serious collective action problem there, as long as your neighbors are still operating under a noble class who'd like to keep their jobs and their peasants don't have understood-to-be-trustworthy sources of news about the Britons."

connecticut_yankee

"We don't need everyone joining at once. After the first few start doing much better, their neighbors don't need to trust us if they trust them.
Once hostilities are ended, nobles with too much time on their hands will travel through simply to see what's there. Eventually some of them will decide they'd rather join. We could even use bribery.

It'll be easier now, because they're under the thumb of the same Church. If the Church confirms and spreads the Republic proclamation, the Anglo-Saxons join us. The Picts might follow them, and the Gaels trust the Picts."

from_scratch

"Ah, I wasn't sure if there were pagans of some sort running around complicating the issue. But part of what I mean is that it might not be very safe for people to run away and join the Brits, they might run into punishment for defectors between there and here."

connecticut_yankee

"That's why we have to limit it to fiefdoms that already border us. Then it becomes part of our territory, and nobody can effectively attack Britain.
And we might even get other sides to agree that any people group or area of land that wants to join can. We'd be in a much better bargaining position, after all."

from_scratch

"Oh, entire fiefdoms, I see. Well, I'll help you bribe them if that seems expedient."

connecticut_yankee

"Well, thank you. It probably won't come up for some time, even if we negotiated an agreement tomorrow. Few realize how much Britain has changed yet.

What if we just walk into a throne room while the king is holding court? Everyone would see our faces and the fact that they inexplicably can't stop us, but we would be able to leave with a royal bargaining chip."

from_scratch

"I could do this while wearing a mask," Cam says. "You're squishier... But I'd be hard pressed to do the job without visible magic. I don't think I can so much as hit people with tranquilizer darts without appearing the guns pre-aimed, I am not a marksman. I can knock out everyone I meet, though."

connecticut_yankee

"How about a suit of plate mail? An armored knight walking in and everyone who challenges him falling over is...I don't know if that particular story has been told, but it's the kind of thing that would sound familiar and believable."

from_scratch

"Me or you in the armor? The problem with that is that without a set of wings I'm likely to fall over more than once on the way in. Being a maker doesn't do a thing for being clumsy. Does that ruin the effect? I could pose as your clumsy squire or something, I suppose."

connecticut_yankee

"Inconveniently, both clumsiness and a squire would be out of place in this sort of tale. On the other hand it's usually exaggerated until a pig becomes an ogre, so fitting expectations perfectly hardly matters.

If I'm in the armor do you think you could manage a disguise as someone who belongs there? You only need to get in the room, but you won't have seen their styles of speech or dress before."

from_scratch

"I can make clothes to match if you give me a loose idea of what they should look like. And keep my mouth shut when I can and mumble when I can't?"

connecticut_yankee

"I suppose you won't have to do much talking your way past people if you have twenty-second century chloroform. Can't help you with how they dress, but we'll see people on the way in?
You'll probably stand out for one reason or another, but if there's a sufficiently ominous figure in black armor nobody will remember someone looking slightly out of place."

from_scratch

"I'll wear a lot of black and a hood. Do you have preferences on what you want the armor to look like or should I be going for 'dark fantasy antagonist, only easy to walk in'?"

connecticut_yankee

"You can make armor easy to walk in? You really are a miracle worker.
As long as there's an obvious lack of coat of arms, little else matters. To their eyes it'll shout about how anonymous I'm being. That and ability to turn a sword, just in case."

from_scratch

"I can try, although I've never experimented with making armor before. I'm thinking aluminum-titanium alloy to keep it light. Maybe black diamond plated."

connecticut_yankee

"I'll only have to wear it for a few minutes anyway. Even an ordinary suit would be tolerable for that long.

If we fail, it'd be because whichever king we target happens to not be at his palace that day. I can't think of a way to get around that, but the only risk is of walking in, looking somewhat silly, and turning around."

from_scratch

"Is there a way to salvage even that? Deliver a suitably ominous message?"

connecticut_yankee

"Probably. Perhaps claim to have done the same to a few other kings, tell them the terms of the deal, and then go actually do the same to the other kings?"

from_scratch

"And rely on inaccurate timekeeping and distorted delivery of messages to get the chronology muddled?"

connecticut_yankee

"Precisely! It's not like there's frequent communication, even between allies. We'd have weeks if we needed them."

from_scratch

"Lovely. Is this next, or are other things next?"

connecticut_yankee

"Nothing's pressingly urgent; this may as well be next. There's a limited time when I can claim to negotiate on Britain's behalf. But kidnapping heads of state from their throne rooms would have to wait for morning anyway, so I'm going back to bed. Still not completely used to the sleeping twice a night thing people do here.

Do makers sleep? I can find you a room if you want one."

from_scratch