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in which karen teller saves expat fairy celegorm from zombies
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"I could burn down the house and you could take it as insurance money. We could set up a fraudulent lottery which could be rigged so you win. We could get married and you could have it as a - dowry, is that the word? Less the debt for having me around until I run off to be a faery."

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"Wow. You're right, those are all completely unhelpful."

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"Can't lie."

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"Well. Maybe we'll think of something less terrible sometime in the next year and a half."

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"Maybe."

 

"I appreciate - you talking to me."

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"I appreciate you still wanting to talk to me even though I keep messing it up."

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"You don't keep messing it up. It's just - there's nothing you can possibly think about the reading thing that I haven't already heard, is all."

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"Yeah, well, just because other people are awful sometimes doesn't mean I wanna be awful, too."

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"Huh."

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"....is that actually surprising, that feels like one of the most unsurprising things I could possibly have said there."

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"I think usually when people are awful they instead decide that they weren't."

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"...well I don't wanna do that. I wanna be not awful. - actually I would consider it a favor if you told me whenever you think I'm being awful. And maybe then I will stop."

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" - okay."

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"Cool.

" - hey, am I allowed to consider random stuff favors, or can I only say that I consider something a favor if I, like, actually want it to happen for reasons that don't have to do with debt?"

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"You can declare that you'd consider it a favor if I stood on one foot even if you don't particularly care whether I do or not. You won't get anything out of considering it a favor if I breathe since I'm going to do that regardless."

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"So I could tell you that it'd be a favor if you spent all day collecting rare herbs in the forest, or whatever, even though I actually do not care about this? - except insofar as it makes you happy, I guess."

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"Yeah."

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"Okay. Then I would consider it a favor if you ran around in the forest during school collecting rare herbs and doing whatever else out there makes you happy."

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"Okay."

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Well, at least she's gotten something right, probably. 

And now they should probably do their job or something. The caretaker doesn't supervise them enough to give them acceptable zombie defenses, but he probably, like, cares whether any work gets done at all.

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Sure! Sounds good!

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.....she should probably not get depressed about it every time something she does makes him happy, that sounds like an unfortunate set of incentives all around.

Maybe she can try just not having any feelings about it.

 

"So should we be doing anything about, like, the fact that there are zombies down here? Figuring out what's up with that? Leaving traps to keep them out of the parts we're using right now? Carrying better weapons?"

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"Oh, that's a good point. Uh, all of the above, maybe? We could ask the caretaker 'hey, about those zombies'?"

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"I guess. You'd think he has to already at least know about them, right? Or he wouldn't've given us the weapons?"

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"They're really not adequate weapons!"

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