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in which karen teller saves expat fairy celegorm from zombies
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Okay. So she has to figure out what to get everyone. Everyone gets some candy, except Azalea, who can't eat it. Zana's easy, Zana is getting a very durable toy spaceship and a very durable toy car and some new clothes and some children's books from the library's 25¢ shelf and a bunch of chew toys. Little Connor's also easy, he wants the new Pokemon game and he's getting the new Pokemon game, plus a chemistry set and some different books from the library's 25¢ shelf. Azalea's harder. She's pretty sure Azalea can still smell, so she's maybe gonna get her some scented candles, and maybe a couple movies from the $1 movie box at the bookstore. This is more than most dead people get so maybe it's okay.

Big Connor is also harder.

She can't give him anything expensive, both because she doesn't have a lot of money and because she doesn't want to make the debt any worse than it is. She just needs to think of something really, really correct. She's not really sure what this is. Connor likes... the outside? Maybe she could get him a really nice coat or something? But really nice coats are actually kind of expensive. Really nice hiking gear is also expensive. Anything to do with grave robbing probably comes off as self-serving. He can't actually read, so she can't get him books about anything. She is kind of stuck.

There is only one person definitely qualified to give her this information. He is terrifying, and there is absolutely no telling what he will want in exchange, but you can't just go around giving people bad Christmas presents on their first year celebrating Christmas correctly, now, can you. And if you have to face things much more terrifying than zombies in service to this goal, well, them's the breaks.

She decides to look for Connor's suspiciously terrifyingly perfect brother after school.

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He's in the debate club (and on the basketball team and he does logistics for the science bowl club but at this moment, relevantly, he is in the debate club.)

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"Hi! You're Connor's brother, right?"

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"Karen! Yes, I am."

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"Cool. I need advice."

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"Stay in school, don't do drugs, bribe the receptionist to give you Carter for history because he never reads anyone's homework and gives everyone an A."

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"I did not need any of that advice." Hopefully the debt system is aware of this. It's probably not, the debt system honestly seems very stupid. "Your brother has never celebrated Christmas correctly before and I am trying to think of something good to get him, but it can't be expensive because I don't have a lot of money and also he's already in debt and stuff."

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"What does a lot of money mean to you -"

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"Um, I'm kind of already over budget because I got my nephew a chemistry set? I can maybe do, like, thirty dollars. I think."

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"Does your home have a yard?"

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"Yeah."

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"I wonder if you could get him a dog. They're usually practically free at the pound and he likes animals and I suspect he'd take good care of it. And he won't be able to have one when he's grown up."

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"Hmm. Dogs are, like, responsibility and stuff, it seems kind of inconsiderate to get it without asking unless he'll definitely be happy about it, but we could have a dog, yeah."

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"I think he would definitely be happy about it."

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"Okay! Then I can get him a dog."

(Deep breath.)

"What do you want for that."

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"Has someone told you my advice is very expensive?"

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"...no? But you're a fairy and stuff."

(And also very suspicious and possibly evil.)

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"We're even. I asked you a couple of questions in between yours so it all leveled out."

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"...oh. Huh. Okay, then, I guess." It is weird that all of those questions would be worth the same amount but the debt system is very dumb and maybe it doesn't understand things like that. Maybe she doesn't need to go crawl in a hole and die now.

"Thank you."

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"You're welcome!"

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...he is so suspicious but she will add this to the 'probably not evil' column of the mental sheet she has for tracking whether Matt is secretly evil or not.

She goes to the pound and finds a fluffy gray dog with one eye that is capable of running and does not snap at her when she pets it. She tells them not to put her down and that she'll be back for her in a couple weeks, and then she buys thirty dollars of pet stuff at the pet store and hides it in a box under her bed with the other presents. 

She watches movies with her niece and nephew on Saturday nights. She puts up the artificial tree and decorates it. She bakes cookies, and they're not as good as her mom's cookies but they're in the right shapes and she has her whole life to try other stuff. She puts up stockings and fills them with candy and little stocking gifts. 

At some point it is Christmas Eve. Christmas Eve is going to be for Christmas dinner and singing and the book of Luke and for stocking gifts, and the non-stocking gifts are going to come out of hiding on Christmas Day, is the plan she has decided on.

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He is not really an expert here so whatever she says goes.

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Okay!

They have a dinner with multiple elements. (Mostly ham and mashed potatoes and green beans.) They have cookies. They get to sing only the Christmas carols that she and Azalea and little Connor actually like. She reads the first half of the second chapter of Luke, and they thank God for sending his Son to Earth. They open stocking gifts, which are mostly candy but also include some other things. (Little Connor gets a Rubik's Cube and some toy robot bugs, Zana gets some of her chew toys and a toy car, big Connor gets a waterproof compass and a paracord bracelet, Karen has been given some pocket notebooks and a pack of pencils.) 

It's not as good as Christmases with the whole family, but it's a Christmas. It counts. 

 

The next day, in the very early morning, she goes to the pound, walks back with the fluffy gray one-eyed dog bundled in her coat, puts her collar on and sticks a tiny little bow on it, sets the dog down next to Connor's sleeping bag, and starts making waffles.

The dog investigates Connor. She decides to lick him.

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Huh? 

Oh gosh it's a dog!!! It's a little gray one-eyed dog with a bow on his collar and she's curious and he's concerned about how she got into the house but he doesn't want to startle her so he holds very still.

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The dog is still kind of cold from being carried home and will maybe just sit down here and rest her head on his chest. He seems like a good source of warmth.

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