I didn't doubt you. Are you busy?

I love you. I can cease to be busy at a moment's notice, I'd just need ten seconds to go tell my conjuror we're done for the day.

Do that.

He does that. He comes back.

He pulls him into his lap without comment.

Okay then. Raika-seren closes his eyes and leans on him contentedly.

I told your father I didn't ask for this.

Well. That's true, you didn't.

If I had I'd have done it very differently. 

Hmm?

'Ignore you until I want you' would feel less like it was leaving you in a state of deprivation.

And I suppose it doesn't help that I don't mind...?

It harms you, that actually matters to me a lot more than whether you mind.

And it's more difficult for me to do something about. Hmm.

I have been rather assuming that if I pay you attention I'll find you tempting soon enough on my own.

That does seem very likely.

It'll help if you think about - what you actually want, why you're here beyond 'it's a challenge' -

What he wants?

If he just drops all the intervening practicalities and reaches straight for the optimal outcome in true Taliar fashion, what he wants is what he saw between Tivarante and Elaneth-imire. He wants that kind of love, that kind of trust, that kind of joy. He wants Maitimo to look at him with that expression of utter fascination, while he is much too busy being tortured to notice - he wants to know what it's like to have imaginary strangers touching his soul, and he wants to know what it's like to hand his soul to Maitimo expecting that and laughing about it. He wants to get high on trust songs and give himself up completely. He wants Maitimo to have him and keep him and love him and treasure him and delight in him - he wants to make a gift of himself and he wants to be the kind of gift that brings exquisite unimaginable happiness.

And maybe he can't have all that, but even if he can't, there are other things he wants in the meantime. He wants to see what it's like to be held to his own standards. He wants to see just how far he can be taken apart and still put himself back together afterward. He wants to help Maitimo, solve problems for him, love him and be appreciated for loving him, give him nice things, see him smile, make him happy.

Is that the sort of answer you were looking for...?

Yes, I think so. 

He considers him. He kisses him.

He kisses back, delightedly, without expectations.

He starts singing.

It's lovely. He's lovely. And Raika-seren thinks he recognizes that song, which makes it even more lovely.

He can feel the change in the shape of his thoughts, and it's - it's beautiful, it's enthralling - trust songs get at something really fundamental in Taliar's mind - and he knows that the reason he trusts Maitimo so perfectly right now is because Maitimo is mind-controlling him, and he decides to let that feeling go unchecked, because it will be more fun that way, because he genuinely and wholeheartedly believes he won't be made to regret it.

Most people don't get this high on it, right - I wonder what it's like to be that kind of person, I can't imagine - I love you so much, I'm so happy.

Just you. It barely affects me at all, normally, if I'm around people I like - Findekáno disliked it -

I can't even think of a coherent comparison, I've never felt anything else like it. But it's amazing and I love it and I love you.

The closest he can get is - what Kelora said about the colours of his soul, while he was catching up, the difference between silver and blue - trust songs feel like the absolute pinnacle of blue. It is so very deeply rewarding, to feel like this. Particularly since he's been having a rather silver time of it overall.

Why is that, do you think you can pick it apart - I haven't hurt you that badly or without permission -