"To Lucas? Sure?"

"Cool, be right back." He vanishes.

"So, uh, you and your twin are witches, huh?"

"Oh yeah," Eric says, then swallows the rest of a cupcake. "Our whole family is."

"—even Lucas?" That wasn't on Lucas's Simpedia page and Peter would've expected it to be? Or something?

"Yeah! And you are, too."

"I, uh, am, but how did you know?"

He gestured vaguely in Peter's direction. "I can see it."

Oh, wait, right, seeing magic was a thing people could do. Can Peter?

Nope.

Damn.

"So, uh..." What the fuck does he even say now. He's so wrong-footed. He did not expect the twins to be so hot and he doesn't know why the level of hot they are is making him have such trouble stringing words together. "Do you like butterflies?"

Eric squints at him.

...that's an unexpected reaction!

Before Eric can actually answer Zach returns, this time by walking.

Accompanied by Lucas Yahontov, in the flesh. In the, uh, entire flesh. "Hello! Zach wanted to introduce us."

None of these thoughts are anywhere near the Bible he still has no idea what the Bible is.

"Yes, hello, Mr. Yahontov, it's nice to meet you, I'm Peter Tarleton, I'm in Chi Beta Gamma." Mr. Yahontov? Seriously? Also could that get classified as a bludgeoning weapon stop thinking about the cock of the very naked, very fit, very attractive guy right in front of you. Or, at least, bring your fucking eyes up.

"Awesome! Here!" says Lucas, going for a high-five—

—which Peter's body instinctively responds to in the seven-step secret Chi Beta Gamma handshake. Which he apparently knows. Despite never having been taught.

What the fuck,

"That's a Chi Beta Gamma boy alright," says Lucas, grinning. "Welcome! Make yourself right at home. There's food, booze, probably a joint or two if you want, and condoms are over there," he adds, gesturing in the vague direction of the kitchen counter.

What, the, fuck,

"Anyway, that's it, if someone here's secretly a pap you have permission to punch them and break their camera. Bye." He turns around and walks away.

Does swinging that thing around count as unconcealed carry stop thirsting over the elderly, Tarleton. The entirely, completely naked elderly with an ass that could be used as reference study in a life drawing class.

He makes a tiny, pathetic whimpery sound in the back of his throat.

"He's into guys, too, you know."

"Okay no hang on time out this is far too much social awareness all concentrated in one place, I have to ask, please say yes, are you self-aware?"

"Self-awhom?"