"Should I go back to questioning whether I should wear this out? What if I send a waitress into cardiac arrest?"

"That is a risk that I am willing to take," he says solemnly.

"I didn't realize you were so callous about the fates of the waitstaff. Do you already by some miracle know how to get this thing onto me or should I find you a tutorial?"

"I'd probably need a tutorial, yeah."

Haru can find a video of how to put on a kimono and delegate awkward subtasks of this to his lovely assistant. If Jaeha really really wants to sneak in a blowjob he can do it once the robe is on but still completely open, that's a pretty safe compromise.

Oh can he? Can he pretty please? He will be SO careful not to get anything on the kimono, he'll make sure not to miss a single drop—

Since he asked so nicely of course he may.

He has the best Haru, and he even gets to give the best Haru a blowjob while Haru is wearing a kimono. Jaeha thinks he might've died and gone to heaven.

Haru is a lucky lucky man. "Jaeha, my Jaeha -"

Jaeha's mouth is a little bit too full for him to respond but he feels like that is itself its own kind of response. God he's in love, it's unreal.

The kimono is unscathed physically, but it may never recover from witnessing these events.

Anyway now they can get Haru dressed to go out.

They caaaaaan and since Jaeha is being extra he has a nice car waiting for them outside. It's not a proper limo but there's quite a lot of space in the back.

"Rolling out the red carpet, are we. Metaphorically. So far."

"You read my deepest, darkest fantasy. I'm holding back, here." By opening the door to let Haru in first.

"I should send my mom a selfie of us, she'll explode." Once Jaeha's scooted in he produces his phone to do this.

Selfie! "Presumably a good kind of exploding?" Also, uh, wow, now he wants to meet Haru's parents, that's novel.

"No, you caught me planning matricide, muahahaha."

He kisses Haru's temple. "What's she like?"

"She - loves everything. She flips between hobbies and religions and genres and lifestyles like some kind of hummingbird trying to cram it all in. Kind of a scatterbrain. I've been in charge of the grocery list since I was pretty little. She's a kindergarten teacher, she got an offer from a fancy English immersion school in Tokyo when I was eight and we moved away from Toronto that summer. We lived in Toronto to begin with because she didn't fully realize until after she'd had me that she couldn't stand the idea of spending the rest of her life in Grand Forks, British Columbia, she needs cities. Though she's only been kidnapped by a dungeon once, it was when we were just starting to unpack into the new apartment in Shinjuku and I had to call the hotline with my still very amateur Japanese. I think I accidentally claimed that my mother was a dungeon. I theorize it was then because she would have been kind of tickled about it at practically any other time."

"Oh, she sounds really cute. ...and very unlike you." Also the thought of tiny Haru who couldn't speak Japanese saying that his mother was a dungeon is making him feel like he might die of adorableness.

"I look like her! And I do think I got some things from her - we both like to be busy, she's smart if less goal-oriented about it."

"I think I'd like to meet her someday." They've only been dating for a short while and yet Jaeha is being so presumptuous aaaaahh.

"Sure, it wouldn't be hard to coax her over here if we can't concoct an excuse to be in Japan."

"The excuse could in fact literally just be 'your boyfriend wants to meet your mum'." Aaaaahhh they're boyfriendsssssssssssssssssssss~

"It could be! Not that long a flight. Canada, now, that's a longer haul."