"Well, I've heard 'Scrimgeour's family did a coverup because it was his fault' and 'the Order of the Phoenix, which definitely exists, did a coverup because it was one of their fault', and 'the Death Eaters, who definitely exist, did a coverup because it was one of their fault', and 'Scrimgeour's family did it on purpose because they didn't like her for some reason', and 'Arcturus Black personally came out of retirement to do the murder and that's why Cedrella Weasley, specifically, filed like twelve lawsuits' and I can only assume there are more." 

"...sorry, what is the one about Madam Black-Weasley, uh, how does that follow?" 

"Yeah nobody knows what the lawsuits were about so that one's either 'she hates him because he famously tried to kill her husband and was trying to get people to hand over their evidence so he'd go to Azkaban' or 'she actually secretly is chill with him and they're up to something and she was trying to get people to not hand over their evidence' or I guess probably there could be other ways that would somehow be related. Or, you know, it could actually have been totally unrelated, people are just assuming it's related because it happened in the same like two months and the Quidditch season was boring last summer." 

"Right. Okay. Aaaand Brutus is really touchy about this because everyone keeps asking him what happened and every time I say something vaguely related he feels like I'm fishing for info which is a giant flaming friendship dick move?" 

"Most likely." 

"Noted, thanks." 

"Sure, yeah, most of the kids who Sorted out are staying out, but it's not all of them. Just because Ravenclaws aren't usually that useful in a fight - no offense, Drew--" 

"You said usually! I take no offense at being accounted unusual." 

"--right, my point is if you want to try to stamp out bullshit in the kids you gotta pay attention to the boring ones too or they'll get real bullshit while you're not looking." 

"Yeah but do you really gotta look that often?" 

"How bad can they get in three months, they're babies." 

"Rosier's little brother has been having a study group with baby Headmaster Brutus the Third and the littlest Vector. ... the second littlest? The boy one." 

"Em, they're numbered. His name is Hex, he's the sixth one. The littlest one is called 'Septima'." 

"I literally Cannot be bothered. My point is we are getting out-outreached." 

"OK the nerd has a point though." 

"Yeah probably outreach works better with kids whose names you can remember." 

"Not if your outreach consists of hexing them until they stop making utterly insane decisions." 

"...that seems worse actually." 

NO COMPROMISE WITH EVIL 

wait no fuck he's right

Siiiiigh. 

"Okay, yes, but we really should do something about it. Talk to the Fawleys, maybe."  

"What do you mean they don't officially exist? Everyone knows--" 

"Anyone with any sense, certainly. But the Aurors closed ranks, I hear, as they are wont to do, and so the Ministry party line is that the Order of the Phoenix is a fairytale for children." 

"Huh. ... Well, there's got to be some way to leverage that, hasn't there, if they don't officially exist then they cannot, for example, make official statements..." 

"Neither can we and it's probably for the best, can you imagine the Dark Lord getting up in front of a press conference and politely denying involvement in something that doesn't meet his public relations standards?" 

"Hey how come you show up to the Nelya lectures and Hex doesn't? Like I know you wanna be separate people and not be like the Prewetts, I get that, I love and support you, but--" 

"Oh ugh I have been not thinking about it because it makes me so mad. I think he grew a 'girls have cooties' this spring or something, he just allllways wants to hang out with his new friends who incidentally are cool important rich boys. He says it's networking."