The other traumatized Leareth looks - pretty awful, actually, and the way he's holding himself is so visibly scared, which is so out of context for him, and aaaaaa. 

"I, er, talked to the older Vanyel," he says finally. "About things that we - that he and you spoke about in what would be my future." 

"Oh." 

"You taught him a lot. He has a lot of respect for you and you earned it." 

No comment. 

"He's really grateful for what you did during the war, before he arrived." Is talking about the war a horrible idea that will upset Leareth? Maybe! "He - there was a lot of admiration, there, he says he couldn't have pulled it off, figuring out what was going on fast enough. He's not sure anyone but you could have. And he doesn't think he could be doing any of what he is now if he hadn't learned from you." 

Angband Leareth tenses a bit, but nods. 

"He's not–"

Vanyel stops. :Bella, the other me said he wasn't angry that this Leareth did some Gates for Melkor. It was inconvenient but it was fine and he wasn't hurt. But I don't know if saying that will just be upsetting: 

I don't know either. But if it upsets him we can just go and maybe try again later. He doesn't tolerate very long interactions well anyway.

Deep breath. "He was worried that you'd think he was mad, about you doing a few Gates for the Enemy, and he told me that he's not mad at all. Even when he wasn't sure if it was you being tricked or if you'd voluntarily joined him, he wasn't really angry, but he definitely isn't now."  

Angband Leareth stares straight ahead for a long time. 

"Are you?" he says finally. 

"Am I what? Angry? No! Why would I be angry with you for - for taking a lot of risks trying to help a world that wasn't even yours, and getting captured, and having an evil god control all of your experiences and memories until... The other Vanyel said it took three months before that happened, which would've been years to you. I wouldn't have held out that long. And - I know you would've only done it if made sense, given what you knew, and it's, it's not your fault that someone else was controlling all that and could try it over as many times as they wanted–" 

Angband Leareth listens without moving, he seems to be holding his breath - and then very abruptly he starts crying. It seems for a moment like maybe he's going to say something else anyway, but he doesn't, only scrunches back down in the bed and pulls the covers over his head. 

"I'm sorry!" :Bella help: 

...let's wait like half a minute, and if he hasn't done anything else in that time go in the hall for a bit.

It's very stupid to be hiding under a blanket when both the people he's hiding from have magic, but the mental move to un-blanket himself isn't working and no amount of willpower he can apply is unsticking it. 

"You can keep saying things if you want," Leareth says after nearly thirty seconds of being stuck. He's a bit hard to hear, due to being blanketed, but understandable. 

"Um, all right - I'm sorry..." Now he's back to having no idea what to say, though. He shoots a pleading look at Bella. 

"Do you want me to calm you down, Leareth?"

Mumbled 'yes'. 

There he goes then.

It's a lot easier to think that way, and after a couple of tries, he can successfully de-blanket his head, though he stays horizontal on the bed. 

"You in the future are very bad at staying angry with me about things," he says. 

"You're talking about the Krebain thing? I'm not mad about that." He scrunches up his face. "All right, I'm a little prickly about it, because murdering mage-gifted kids is horrible - I know, you mostly kidnapped them, that's also horrible. But - it seems like it was mostly a god thing, right? And - I think that was the determining factor, I mean, if there hadn't been a god who wanted me to be stupidly powerful then probably all the coincidences wouldn't have lined up that way, it took a lot of them, and if there had been, but you hadn't supplied Krebain, then it would've just found another way to happen all the same." Shrug. "I talked about it a lot with the other Vanyel." 

Leareth stares at him for a while, with obvious doubt.

"You were - not this able to speak of it at this time, when I knew you," he says finally. "I think. I suppose we spoke of other things." 

"Oh, no, that's completely right, the other me says it took almost a decade before he could really talk about Tylendel with people. But, um..." 

:Bella, I'm allowed to tell him about you being my therapist, right, if I want? It's just you aren't allowed to talk about it without my permission?: 

Right. You can say anything you want as long as you aren't slandering me.

:Slandering you would be the opposite of helpful, really: 

"Um, Bella has the subtle arts thing which is like Mindhealing, and I've been seeing her as a therapist for a while now, and it helped a lot. Other me said he was kind of jealous even though he mostly figured out things on his own, eventually. He says it'll save me a lot of stupid decisions I would've made, though."