Mordred is so incredibly goddamn tired. "And if I want to keep you safe?"

"I think this is something I'm better prepared to fight than you are. Even if it isn't a demon. What was it you said repels the Mouth? Self-sacrifice and self-abnegation?"

"If you are trying to talk me into bringing you to an active war zone so you can sacrifice yourself to --"

"You're going there. Why is it okay for you but not for me?"

"I," and this is. Actually a good point, which Mordred has been avoiding thinking about for he's not exactly sure how long.

Gale hesitates. There's something he's almost saying. "I think I might be the only one on your team who could."

"I --" not those words not those words come up with different words -- "think that if I lost you it would make me much worse at saving the world. So I am not going to let you feed yourself to a demon or an evil god or a parasite or a whatever it is."

"The saints speak to me. They always have. I'm-- meant for something."

"If you are trying to get me to accept an argument that rests on an all-loving god running the universe it's not going to work." His voice is shaking but he's not crying, yet, he thinks.

"I think if it is what I'm meant for you won't be able to stop it."

"And I am still not bringing you to Malta so you can kill yourself by feeding yourself to," and then he is crying.

Gale sits next to him and hugs him. "I don't know how to tell you it's going to be okay."

For example, if he says 'I am only here for a while and I don't belong here and my home is Heaven,' Mordred is going to start crying harder.

Maybe that's because it isn't. Mordred hugs him tighter.

"I won't go until I am needed."

"I." He buries his face in Gale's shoulder and says, very quietly, "I know I'm being selfish and stupid and -- all of those things -- and also I selfishly stupidly need you to be okay or I'm not going to be able to do this."

"I know. I-- would be okay, if I did. But I don't expect you to believe it. I wasn't meant for earth. I was meant to be somewhere else."
 
 
 
 

This is just making him cry harder.

Gale is going to... hold him. And let him cry.

"I don't want, to argue with you, about whether that's true-- But please stay here, and don't die or at least don't die yet?"

"I won't die yet."

This does not really feel like enough but Mordred is pretty sure it's as much as he can ask for.

It... takes him a while to stop crying, and a while after that to let go.

Gale is here as long as he needs.

About two weeks into their time in New York, Mrs. Winston-Rogers calls Mordred and tells him that Douglas Henslowe wants to speak to him.

...okay, he can do that?

Mr. Henslowe arrives at the team's apartment. He looks healthier than he did before. "I... just wanted to thank you. For what you did."